All Sports Schedule
* I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one byte.
* I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
* When chemists die, they barium.
* A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
* Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
* A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A-minor.
* I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he
can stop any time.
* Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
* How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
* I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
* Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
* I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it
dawned on me.
* This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I'd never met herbivore.
* What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
* I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it
* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on
* They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-O.
* Broken pencils are pointless.
* I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
* PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
* Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
* Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
* We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.
I hope there's no pop quiz.
* When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
* I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
* What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
* England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
* I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
* I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
* All the toilets in New York's police stations have been
stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
* I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
* Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
* Velcro -- what a rip off!
* A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are
* Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!
* The earthquake in Washington obviously was the