Subject: Punographics

* I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one byte.

* I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

* When chemists die, they barium.

* A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

* Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

* A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A-minor.

* I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he
can stop any time.

* Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

* How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

* I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

* Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

* I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it
dawned on me.

* This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I'd never met herbivore.

* What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

* I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on

* They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-O.

* Broken pencils are pointless.

* I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

* PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

* Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

* Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

* We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.
I hope there's no pop quiz.

* When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

* I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

* What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.

* England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

* I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

* I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

* All the toilets in New York's police stations have been
stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

* I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

* Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

* Velcro -- what a rip off!

* A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are

* Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!

* The earthquake in Washington obviously was the
government's fault.