DISNEYLAND.........
Two blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on
the Interstate when they saw the sign that said 'Disneyland
LEFT.' They started crying and turned around and went
home.

FLORIDA OR MOON.......
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think
is farther away..... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde
turns and says, "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida????"

CAR TROUBLE........
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is
idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies,
"Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often do I have
to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET........
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her
very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I
wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday
you take away my license and then today you expect me to
show it to you!"

RIVER WALK........
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she
shouts, "How can I get to the other side? The second blonde
looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You
ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.......
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and
said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!"
says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger,
pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed
her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee
and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said,
"You're not really a redhead, are you?" "Well, no," she said,
"I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your
finger is broken."

KNITTING......
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that
the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. Realizing that she
was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper
cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
"PULL OVER!" "NO!' the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN........
A Russian, an American, and a blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll
burn up!" said the Russian. To which the blonde replied,
"We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night."

IN A VACUUM........
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls
your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and
then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE
JOKES........
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two
new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was
named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone
naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO," answered the
blonde, "They're watch dogs!"