Subject: Punography
Just when you thought you'd heard it all.......
* I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
* When chemists die, they barium.
* Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
* I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he
can stop any time.
* How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
* I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it
dawned on me.
* This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I'd never met herbivore.
* I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
* I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on
words .
* At the hospital they told me I had type-A blood, but it was a
type-O.
* A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
* PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
* Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
* Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory -- I hope there's no
pop quiz.
* The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.
* The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on
him.
* Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her
job because she couldn't control her pupils?
* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
* What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four
seconds.
* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit
me!
* Broken pencils are pointless.
* What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
* England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
* I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
* All the toilets in New York's police stations have been
stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
* I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
* Velcro -- what a rip-off.
* Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
* Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
* Earthquake in Washington obviously the government's
fault.
* I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Just when you thought you'd heard it all.......
* I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
* When chemists die, they barium.
* Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
* I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he
can stop any time.
* How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
* I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it
dawned on me.
* This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I'd never met herbivore.
* I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
* I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on
words .
* At the hospital they told me I had type-A blood, but it was a
type-O.
* A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
* PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
* Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
* Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory -- I hope there's no
pop quiz.
* The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.
* The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on
him.
* Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her
job because she couldn't control her pupils?
* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
* What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four
seconds.
* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit
me!
* Broken pencils are pointless.
* What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
* England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
* I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
* All the toilets in New York's police stations have been
stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
* I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
* Velcro -- what a rip-off.
* Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
* Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
* Earthquake in Washington obviously the government's
fault.
* I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.