better at not allowing losses to kill me physically, but it does. What about you guys, my fellow Bear brethren?

CalBearsWinNC;582420 said:

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better at not allowing losses to kill me physically, but it does. What about you guys, my fellow Bear brethren?

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You can only get your heart broken so many times before it becomes expected.

I have to say I'm right there with you

When I was young and stupid, I use to drink large quantities of beer to try to dull the pain of heartbreaking Cal losses. The greater the heartbreak, the more beer I drank. After years of this tomfoolery and after much profound soul-searching, I concluded that the beer really wasn't working...if anything, it only made the pain worse and that empty feeling even more empty. It was clear to me that I needed to shake things up in my life.

So now I drink single malt scotch. Works much better.

Holmoephobic;582421 said:

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You can only get your heart broken so many times before it becomes expected.

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Even after 2.5 decades of Cal football for me. I feel as bad now as I did when I was 7 years old.

CalBearsWinNC;582420 said:

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better at not allowing losses to kill me physically, but it does. What about you guys, my fellow Bear brethren?

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Thanks for posting that. I was going to post something similar. I seem to take losses very hard to where I come on and post very sarcastic stuff after a tough loss, because I am so upset. I see a lot of people shrug it off, but it takes me till Tues to calm down. Glad I am not alone. I used to blog alot on ESPN and other sites and I used to take a beating from the SEC fans and U$C/OU fans because of our non successes. I could not really defend us and got whacked. I don't do that much anymore because I realized those fans blogging were just low self esteem morons. There, I feel better now. Go Bears!!!!!

davetdds;582431 said:

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Thanks for posting that. I was going to post something similar. I seem to take losses very hard to where I come on and post very sarcastic stuff after a tough loss, because I am so upset. I see a lot of people shrug it off, but it takes me till Tues to calm down. Glad I am not alone. I used to blog alot on ESPN and other sites and I used to take a beating from the SEC fans and U$C/OU fans because of our non successes. I could not really defend us and got whacked. I don't do that much anymore because I realized those fans blogging were just low self esteem morons. There, I feel better now. Go Bears!!!!!

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It takes me until mid-week to get over the losses. Even with the Raiders playing well. The UW losses continues to haunt me. I cannot stand any loss.

I find physical activity helps a lot. I can't really sit through half time or I go crazy (crazier)...I find having someone to play catch with at half time and after the game helps. Running with the dog...anything mindless that requires physical exertion.

Being pessimistic all the time can help soften the blow some (if you get your hopes up they can only be shattered...if you never get them up, they can't be broken). That said, it makes it harder to fully enjoy/appreciate the good times when you spend all your time focusing on the negative.

Personally I hope I never get to the point of being numb to the losses. I got that way with the Giants...and when they won the world series I just went numb and got distanced from the team. Sure I enjoyed the championship run...but it felt so surreal/detached that I still have problems accepting it as reality sometimes. I'd rather spend 50 seasons agonizing every loss, pulling out my hair and screaming at the television, and being distraught all week after every loss knowing that when they finally do reach the promised land that I will be able to fully appreciate/relish/enjoy it than become a "negabear" and get to the point where I just go numb when they get there.

~MrGPAC

yea the Washington game sucked, u can call me crazy but I have a really good feeling about this upcoming game.

Watch some Korean soap operas ("K-dramas"). Worse things happen.

I like to take long, lazy strolls over hot coals to take my mind off Cal losses.

Same thing in the end....

It's not just psychological. Studies show that the testosterone levels of winning fans increase by 20% after the game, and the testosterone levels of losing fans decease by the 20%.

This is pretty consistent with my own personal experiences.

For solace I turn to baseball where my other favorite team-the Boston Red Sox- is gearing up for a world series run.

I was at the UW game. It is tough to watch your team in a loud, hostile environment yet we played well in many spots and came very close. As disappointed as I was (we all were) I never stop being a Cal fan. Never. Some would call that masochistic. I call it faithful. I told my wife if I die before Cal makes it to a Rose Bowl that she should bring my ashes with her to that game and let me enjoy that grand event posthumously. Go Bears!

There's something about college football, with each game counting so much, there's nothing else comparable. Especially back in the day when our Head Coaches might go "five years and out", the fate of the entire program could almost rest on 1-2 games.

However, I can't explain why, but the losses don't bother me -- as much -- as they used to, decades ago...

In particular, the 1991 Big Game loss just left me distraught. Heck, any Big Game loss. Same with one of the UCLA games (away) when they had a pretty long streak against us.

I remember one game, I think it was Bruce Snyder's third year... something tells me it was against Oregon St. at home... We played HORRIBLY and it was just killing me, both during the game and afterwards.

The last 10-15 years, it seems like losses hurt less and less. I'm not sure if it's an accumulated numbness to losses, if it's years of life experiences have helped put things into perspective, if it's having kids, or what. Gotta say, and this may sound like anathema to some, the more that commercialism has crept into college football, game day seeming all corporate, $4 bottles of water, etc. the less I feel the personal tie to some extent.

I actually feel like I'm in a good place: Love the victories (2009 Big Game!); hate the losses (but not to where they're eating me up).

Go Bears!

I try to not read these boards for a few days after a loss, it usually just makes me more upset.

If you think its bad for us, think of the kids. At least, I know if I was playing for the team and it happened, I would be beyond pissed. It reminds me of a scene in the "A Football Life" about Bill Belichek that just played recently on NFL Network. I was watching the second episode last night, and there is a scene where the patriots are getting the crap kicked out of them by the saints, and Brady is standing on the sidelines watching the saints run the clock out on them. Belichek comes up to him to "chat."

Its amazing, because brady has the most steeled and pissed expression you could ever imagine on his face. It's so absolutely clear that he has a desire and will to win that is placed above everything else, and its that fierce competitiveness in him that has driven him to be one of the best in the league, and certainly the most successful super bowl qb in the last 2 decades. meanwhile belichek is standing there next to him, with almost the same pissed off expression, and he's basically telling him "look, i've tried to get these guys to play like I know we can, but they just wont do it."

He doesn't come out and say it, but its clear that brady is an extension of the coaching staff, and by telling him his frustrations at the team, not only is it a bit of commiseration, but he is expecting that brady is going to get the players on the straight and narrow to perform up to their abilities. it just struck me as such a poignant example of belichek's coaching style, in that you can tell he trusts brady immensely. In any event, I firmly believe that if you have a team full of guys that has that attitude, that loosing is simply unacceptable, that you will win your fair share of games. It's guys that either don't care enough, or get used to loosing that make teams bad. It's execution and talent and schemes and all that, but its also a desire to work harder than the next guy, and to believe when the chips are down that you are going to handle your responsibility, and so is the guy next to you. You have to have that will and that believe in being successful, otherwise when things go bad, it will go real bad and will continue to spiral out of control.

In any event, I've gone WAY off topic, but it was a great show to watch. I generally have not been a fan on the patriots, but after watching the show its impossible to not respect them as a team and organization.

I've been on tilt ever since the UW game.

86Oski;582424 said:

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When I was young and stupid, I use to drink large quantities of beer to try to dull the pain of heartbreaking Cal losses. The greater the heartbreak, the more beer I drank. After years of this tomfoolery and after much profound soul-searching, I concluded that the beer really wasn't working...if anything, it only made the pain worse and that empty feeling even more empty. It was clear to me that I needed to shake things up in my life.

So now I drink single malt scotch. Works much better.

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Have you tried Laphroig or Oban? Very oaky aromas.

My first year at Cal was 2001. I don't share the sense of entitlement that younger fans seem to have.

GoldenBeaR6;582502 said:

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My first year at Cal was 2001. I don't share the sense of entitlement that younger fans seem to have.

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I've been a fan since the 80's.

6bear6;582497 said:

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Have you tried Laphroig or Oban? Very oaky aromas.

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Isn't Laphroig the peat mossy one? i have a bottle, but I haven't made much of a dent in it. I keep thinking that I will acquire a taste for it, but so far - not so much.

6bear6;582497 said:

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Have you tried Laphroig or Oban? Very oaky aromas.

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I've tried Laphroig, but prefer the less "peaty" ones like Macallan. Not sure if I've ever tried Oban.

Even though we lose, the program will always exist, so be grateful for that. Winning isn't everything, losing in style is just as good, or something.

Golden,

I don't know why exactly either but I have a good feeling about the game too. I'm thinking it is one of the following two reasons:

1. Oregon is beatable! They definitely aren't as good as last year. Their offense was great last year and this year I would put them at really good. Their defense on the other hand was really good last year and appears to be below average this year. Plus their strength on offense is our strength on defense. Our pass defense has been bad this season but I believe Price is the real deal! If he puts up similar numbers against Utah that he put against us, I really really like our chances!

2. I'm blinded by Cal Homerism! I use to be able to tell when I was being a Homer or not...No Longer!

I think this thread could go viral; tells me that a nerve has been struck. It is human nature to want to do something about things you care about. We don't have much control over the outcome of these games (unless we plan to return to college and use our remaining years of elegibility) but the one thing we can do is support Cal. I was at the Tennessee game, the Michigan State game, the Oregon games, and others in the recent past and we truly had a home field advantage. Trust me, the team can tell the difference. So let's develop that for all our home games; let's have a loud and supportive road group, and show the team how much we care. Moaning on this board won't get much done.

the peaty Islays are wonderful. If you like Laphroaig, be sure to try "the Laddie" (Bruchladdich). For non-Islays, I found a Balvenie "Caribbean Cask" (aged in old rum casks)--incredibly sweet finish, and Arran Island specials--individually bottled (warning: they come in at 110-120 proof, so perfect for after a Cal game).

As long as you learn to enjoy the upside equally or more. Sometimes there's nothing like the feeling after a good win. It's a shockingly primal feeling--like you're part of some medieval conquering army--like you just pillaged their city and took a dump on on your enemy's hearthstone.

It's starting to bother me much more than it used to, now that I'm 48. Not only have we had a significant period of promise without actually winning anything, with things seeming to regress back to the way they used to be, little by little, year after year, I'm beginning to worry about how much time I have left. We have gone my entire life without our team representing the conference as its champion in a bowl game. Now even if it takes even HALF that amount of time from this season to achieve that goal, I'll almost be dead.

I cling to the hope, for this season and next, that our recruiting will reflect the new facilities for the next couple of years, and the team will win despite the inexplicable lapses that never fail to attack our coaching staff.

There. Feel better?

UrsaMajor;582526 said:

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the peaty Islays are wonderful. If you like Laphroaig, be sure to try "the Laddie" (Bruchladdich). For non-Islays, I found a Balvenie "Caribbean Cask" (aged in old rum casks)--incredibly sweet finish, and Arran Island specials--individually bottled (warning: they come in at 110-120 proof, so perfect for after a Cal game).

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No mention of Lagavulin?

ohsooso;582544 said:

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It's starting to bother me much more than it used to, now that I'm 48. Not only have we had a significant period of promise without actually winning anything, with things seeming to regress back to the way they used to be, little by little, year after year, I'm beginning to worry about how much time I have left. We have gone my entire life without our team representing the conference as its champion in a bowl game. Now even if it takes even HALF that amount of time from this season to achieve that goal, I'll almost be dead.

I cling to the hope, for this season and next, that our recruiting will reflect the new facilities for the next couple of years, and the team will win despite the inexplicable lapses that never fail to attack our coaching staff.

There. Feel better?

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Yeah I feel your pain, Cal takes years off of your life.

davetdds;582431 said:

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Thanks for posting that. I was going to post something similar. I seem to take losses very hard to where I come on and post very sarcastic stuff after a tough loss, because I am so upset. I see a lot of people shrug it off, but it takes me till Tues to calm down. Glad I am not alone. I used to blog alot on ESPN and other sites and I used to take a beating from the SEC fans and U$C/OU fans because of our non successes. I could not really defend us and got whacked. I don't do that much anymore because I realized those fans blogging were just low self esteem morons. There, I feel better now. Go Bears!!!!!

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Agree.
My wife (also a Cal Grad) at first tried to reason with me: "It's no big thing" "Cal will win next time" "Cal put up a good fight" etc.

Now she let's me grieve in silence.
Gets rid of the sports page from the Sunday paper.
The night of the game is tough not to replay the critical parts of the game in my head.
That night and the next, I watch DVD's of action movies - the more violent the better.
Finally by Tuesday morning I am back on track and get ready for the next game.
Like that old Depression Era song:
"Get yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again."

So Cal FB is great training for Life.

68great;582558 said:

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Agree.
My wife (also a Cal Grad) at first tried to reason with me: "It's no big thing" "Cal will win next time" "Cal put up a good fight" etc.

Now she let's me grieve in silence.
Gets rid of the sports page from the Sunday paper.
The night of the game is tough not to replay the critical parts of the game in my head.
That night and the next, I watch DVD's of action movies - the more violent the better.
Finally by Tuesday morning I am back on track and get ready for the next game.
Like that old Depression Era song:
"Get yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again."

So Cal FB is great training for Life.

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I may just buy some boxing equipment and hit something.

ohsooso;582544 said:

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It's starting to bother me much more than it used to, now that I'm 48. Not only have we had a significant period of promise without actually winning anything, with things seeming to regress back to the way they used to be, little by little, year after year, I'm beginning to worry about how much time I have left. We have gone my entire life without our team representing the conference as its champion in a bowl game. Now even if it takes even HALF that amount of time from this season to achieve that goal, I'll almost be dead.

I cling to the hope, for this season and next, that our recruiting will reflect the new facilities for the next couple of years, and the team will win despite the inexplicable lapses that never fail to attack our coaching staff.

There. Feel better?

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come on Ohsooso. I just turned 66 and can definitely see the end of the road 20...no, 30...no, 40...yes, 40 years ahead.

I am not sure that Cal will have a RB before I go to the Great Stadium in the Sky.

But.....I am feeling better now than a number of years ago before JT.... when not only was the Cal team in the pits; but Memorial was just as bad; and there was no hope of rebuilding either since the Chancellor hated Cal FB; and the Cal Alums were refusing to spend any money for new facilities.
I was seriously concerned that Cal was going to Div2 and would play its games at Edwards Field.

68great;582570 said:

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I was seriously concerned that Cal was going to Div2 and would play its games at Edwards Field.

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Do you think Cal could win 10 games each year as a Div 2 program ?

30 years as a Cal fan and the losses have gotten easier. I am usually upset for a day. With 3 kids and a job-and-a-half, I just dont have time to dwell on the bad games.

I really enoy the wins. I dont take any opponent for granted (OK, maybe Presby).

The wife gave me license plate holders that said - "I hope the bears play in the rosebowl before I die". That gift was funny 10 years ago. Nowdays, I doubt whether we will see Cal play in a rosebowl, ever.

Might be a masochist considering the ESP seats and time spent on the Bears.

The pac-10 Bball championship a few years ago, however, was one sweet afternoon.