dajo9 said:
Let's look at all the things that legally never happened as there were no judicial convictions.
- The Boston Tea Party
- The theft of Cherokee land
- Southern treason in the Civil War
- The numerous massacres of blacks that ended reconstruction
- The massacre at Wounded Knee
- The Tulsa race massacre
- The lynching my grandfather witnessed with his own eyes
- The many murders of the Civil Rights era
- Banks screwing over people in the Great Recession
This is just a partial list. You think these things happened? Find me the case code.
Brilliant, lol.
See, that's why I called you Mister Dajo.
Because here I was going to give the analogy of the nervous inexperienced drunk teenager who was at a party one Saturday night when his friends came up to him and told him about the girl who was passed out drunk in the bedroom downstairs. This was his big chance, they said, excitedly.
"Really?"
"Yeah, dude. And she's right there. All you gotta do is go in there and DO it!"
The teen started to get a hard-on at the thought.
"And what's more," the friends sermoned, "if you don't do it now, you'll never be a man. You've got to have strength to be a man!"
So the young man mustered his courage and marched downstairs.
The door was locked, so he knocked and said, "Hello? Can I come in?" He heard no response other than his friends who egged him on to go inside, their voices getting louder all the while.
Next, a few girls approached and said, "you can't go in there. You're not allowed to go in there." The encouraging friends pushed them away, leaving the virgin to face the door alone. Emboldened by his friends' path-clearing, he took a flagpole (which he just happened to be carrying - it said "Get Laid Tonight") and busted through the doorframe so he could climb through.
Once inside, he saw the girl laying on the bed. She was indeed "out", normal defense systems inoperable. At first, the virgin tried to wake her up. "Hello? Are you awake? Do you want to fool around? Do you want to have sex?"
"You want to have sex, right? That's why you came to this party. That's why you got drunk. That's why you came and laid down in bed, right? You want to lose your virginity, too. Now, we've got to be strong, and do it, or we'll never cross the rubicon!"
The idiot could hear his friends chanting outside: "do it, do it, do it!"
So, he proceeded to squeeze her titties and feel up her crotch. He pulled off her shirt and removed her bra. He licked her neck, and kissed her unresponsive lips. He unzipped his pants, and hers as well. He put on the condom he had brought to the party.
Now, here he was, in the inner chamber, all ready to go. But, suddenly, being a virgin, he didn't know what to do next. He lost his firmness as he wasted his time just roaming his hands all over her body. He took out his cellphone and began to take pictures of himself posing all over her. He stole her panties and tucked them inside his backpack as a souvenir. He smelled her hair and then wrote her a note on her thigh with a magic marker:
"I was here. I won the day. I'm a man!"
The fool spent a full 2 hours in that bedroom, examining that body. He tweeted and instagrammed. But, as the fervor of the party began to die down, he simply put his pants back on and left the room, proud of what he had done. Wow, that had never happened before! What a successful teenage night. He had gotten boobage! And ass! And proof! "The guys back at school will be surrounding me to hear all about it," he thought.
The next day, he woke up. Social media informed him that town police were investigating the massive party where he had been. There were reports that a girl may have been raped, as a female had shown up at the police station dazed and confused, and requesting a rape kit examination be done.
Scared, the boy began deleting photos from his phone. He deleted his Twitter and Instagram. He looked in his backpack and removed the panties and additional condoms. He burned them both, remembering the same brand packaging he'd left behind at the scene.
All morning long, he kept reminding himself that he didn't actually penetrate her, so no REAL crime could be charged. He wasn't guilty of anything more than minor property damage, he reasoned.
Police spent months interviewing hundreds of party goers, sifting through various texts and random new message boards they'd never heard of before. The local media debated the case. It all became so confusing to the town's people. What had actually happened?
So, tell me, Wife.
What's you take on this story?
The police took swab samples from inside the girl. No semen samples. No scratches or bruises on her. No evidence of rape. No harm, no foul?
.....Oh, one last part of this story I forgot to tell.
The name of that girl on the bed? Lady Liberty.