You're An EXTREME Redneck When...
* You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of
her kids.
* The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much
gas is in it.
* You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
* You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
* You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
* Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
* You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
* Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
* Your junior prom offered day care.
* You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen,
start your engines."
* You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off
its wheels.
* The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
* You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
* One of your kids was born on a pool table.
* You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.
* You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
* You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
* Popping the hood involves removing at least two bungee cords.
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And in closing... Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting
around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant. After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was
to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and
squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"
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* You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of
her kids.
* The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much
gas is in it.
* You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
* You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
* You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
* Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
* You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
* Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
* Your junior prom offered day care.
* You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen,
start your engines."
* You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off
its wheels.
* The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
* You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
* One of your kids was born on a pool table.
* You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.
* You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
* You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
* Popping the hood involves removing at least two bungee cords.
-----------------
And in closing... Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting
around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant. After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was
to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and
squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"
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