Subject: A Nun Grading Papers
CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK
GRADING THESE PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO
KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER
COMPOSURE?! PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE
WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE
EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT
COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND
NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS
ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN.
THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.
INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
* IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS, GOD
GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK
THE SABBATH OFF.
* ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE
TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT
AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
* LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE
DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
* THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND
THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH
UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
* SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE
LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
* SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE
OF THE APOSTLES.
* MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE
THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD, WHICH IS BREAD
WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
* THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE
DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT
CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
* THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD
ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
* THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT
ADMIT ADULTERY.
* MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA
THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF
GERITOL.
* THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN
JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE
OBEYED HIM.
* DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT
PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A
RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
* SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES
AND 700 PORCUPINES.
* WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF
JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
* WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE
ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
* JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN
IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
* ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS
HEAD.
* JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH
SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO
YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY
SWEAT ALONE.
* IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE
DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE
ENTRANCE.
* THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE
CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
* THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
* ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO
WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
* ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE
PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER
NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
* CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS
CALLED MONOTONY.
CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK
GRADING THESE PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO
KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER
COMPOSURE?! PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE
WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE
EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT
COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND
NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS
ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN.
THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.
INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
* IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS, GOD
GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK
THE SABBATH OFF.
* ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE
TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT
AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
* LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE
DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
* THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND
THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH
UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
* SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE
LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
* SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE
OF THE APOSTLES.
* MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE
THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD, WHICH IS BREAD
WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
* THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE
DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT
CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
* THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD
ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
* THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT
ADMIT ADULTERY.
* MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA
THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF
GERITOL.
* THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN
JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE
OBEYED HIM.
* DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT
PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A
RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
* SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES
AND 700 PORCUPINES.
* WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF
JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
* WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE
ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
* JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN
IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
* ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS
HEAD.
* JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH
SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO
YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY
SWEAT ALONE.
* IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE
DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE
ENTRANCE.
* THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE
CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
* THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
* ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO
WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
* ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE
PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER
NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
* CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS
CALLED MONOTONY.