Reading this topic for the first time and can't see a single lawyer joke.

Time to fix that:

Two attorneys are walking down Market Street when an absolutely stunning woman approaches from the opposite direction. She's got an unbelievable figure and is wearing a dress that hugs her every curve.

First Attorney: Boy, would I like to scr*w her.

Second: Out of how much?

Thank you, Ludwig, (I was there when the original Ludwig's frolicking made it his fountain) - for elevating the dialog here. Good memories.