Subject: Why We Miss Rodney Dangerfield
Because he said.....
* My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night,
she used me to time an egg.
* It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the
lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
* Last night, my wife met me at the front door. She was
wearing a sexy negligee. Trouble was, she was coming home.
* A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody
home.' I went over. Nobody was home!
* A hooker once told me she had a headache.
* I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
* If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
* I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said,
'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said,
'No, I hate myself now.'
* I knew a girl so ugly, she was known as a two-bagger.
That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag
over her head comes off.
* I knew a girl so ugly..... they use her in prisons to cure sex
offenders.
* My wife is such a bad cook; if we leave dental floss in the
kitchen, the roaches hang themselves.
* I'm so ugly, I stuck my head out the window and got
arrested for mooning.
* The other day, I came home and a guy was jogging, naked.
I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
* My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
* I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on, I can
hear the Fruit-of -the-Loom guys giggling.
* My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the
meal.
* My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called
me from Chicago last night.
* My family was so poor that, if I hadn't been born a boy, I
wouldn't have had anything to play with.
Because he said.....
* My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night,
she used me to time an egg.
* It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the
lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
* Last night, my wife met me at the front door. She was
wearing a sexy negligee. Trouble was, she was coming home.
* A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody
home.' I went over. Nobody was home!
* A hooker once told me she had a headache.
* I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
* If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
* I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said,
'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said,
'No, I hate myself now.'
* I knew a girl so ugly, she was known as a two-bagger.
That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag
over her head comes off.
* I knew a girl so ugly..... they use her in prisons to cure sex
offenders.
* My wife is such a bad cook; if we leave dental floss in the
kitchen, the roaches hang themselves.
* I'm so ugly, I stuck my head out the window and got
arrested for mooning.
* The other day, I came home and a guy was jogging, naked.
I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
* My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
* I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on, I can
hear the Fruit-of -the-Loom guys giggling.
* My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the
meal.
* My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called
me from Chicago last night.
* My family was so poor that, if I hadn't been born a boy, I
wouldn't have had anything to play with.