Subject: Tech Support

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry..... Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen-saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

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This one and the next are our personal favourites!

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

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And last but not least!

Tech support: Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: 'P'..... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!