Medical experts were asked if it is time to ease the lockdown.

Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised
not to make any rash moves.

Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but
Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a
misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea
shortsighted.

Many Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while Pediatricians
said, "Oh, grow up!"

Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists
could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and
pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow.

Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face
on the matter."

Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were pissed
off at the whole idea.

Anesthetists thought the whole idea was gas, and those lofty
Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up
to the a-holes.

^^^ nominated post of the day, tnx oski3



more pick-me-ups here:
http://friarsclub.com/happenings/joke-of-the-day/page/60

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a whole 'nother thing leans in the same direction..

Oh, and fair warning, subversive farcking lyrics (no kidding) unsuitable for impressionable young minds.



bonus singalong opportunity..

Riki "Garfunkel" Lindhome and Kate "Oates" Micucci sing about the way some women break up with men- by not telling them. They just do the fade away...

LYRICS:
We've been on a bunch of dates
I weigh debates that this creates
And hate that state of forced introspection
We traded wit, we swapped some spit,
You fingered me a little bit
But we never really had a connection

You did nothing wrong, I have no excuse
Just my intuition telling me we shouldn't reproduce

I know I have to end it
But pretend to just suspend it
By contending that I'm busy all week
I let the foregone linger on
Text back with an emoticon
Withdraw from you by being oblique

Inside I know my tactics just delay it
But I'd do anything so I don't have to say it

I'll draw this out forever like it's Vietnam
Then one day I'll be gone like Bambi's mom Awww

Cause there's the right thing to do
Then there's what I'm gonna do
There's so much I should say
But instead... I do the fade away

Now I'm fading like chalk on a sidewalk
Or the polio virus after Jonas Salk
Like a Jewish guy at Arby's on Yom Kippur
The Whig party post Millard Fillmore

The erection of a man on antidepressants
The cast of Diff'rent Strokes after adolescence
Reproductive rights below the Mason Dixon
Native Americans after the barter systems
Your thyroid gland after Hashimoto
The family in the Back to the Future photo
Yeah I fade away

We say that men are ******* who don't communicate
We revel in our victimhood and amplify our hate
We find ways to be indignant like it's a sport
Then dissect their malignance with the views we distort

The way men break up may be sloppy and terse
What they do is bad, but what we do is worse

We pretend to ourselves it's the nice thing to do
To let you down gently by just not ****ing telling you
And deep down we know it's the worst way to play it
But we are what we have... huge *******

And women are hypocrites
Especially ones in comedy bands
We see your faults but not our own
Then we wonder why we're all alone

We fill you up with maybe's, excuses and stalls
But like a baby in China... it's better to have balls

Not the Good Wife type like Christine Baranski
So I'll pull out and leave like I'm Roman Polanski

Cause there's the right thing to do
Then there's what I'm gonna do
There's so much I should say
But instead... I do the fade away

Like Verbal Kint fading into Kaiser Soze
The rights in Arizona for a guy named Jose
Opportunities for a college grad
The love between your mom and dad
Gonna Peter out like a gay Cetera
Iranian relations since the Regan era
Black Nike sales after Heaven's Gate
Summer Camp attendance at Penn State
The name Adolph after World War Two
Like Debbie Gibson's pop career, Out of the Blue
Yeah I fade away

Cause I don't wanna get to know you
I just want to blow you... off

Man, a double header.

> a double header.

and more