I organized a 'Secret Admirer' exchange for Valentine’s Day.

Employees could anonymously send chocolates and notes to colleagues they appreciate.

It was purely voluntary.

Participation was excellent: 94% of the staff sent or received a gift. The office was buzzing with…

— inhuman resources (@inhumandept_vp) February 14, 2026

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I organized a 'Secret Admirer' exchange for Valentine's Day.

Employees could anonymously send chocolates and notes to colleagues they appreciate.

It was purely voluntary.

Participation was excellent: 94% of the staff sent or received a gift. The office was buzzing with morale.

I collected all the cards before distribution to 'check for appropriateness.'

I didn't read the love notes. I just logged the metadata.

I mapped exactly who sent to whom. This allowed me to build a comprehensive 'Social Influence Graph' of the organization.

I identified the 'Super-Connectors' - The three employees who received the most gifts from the widest variety of departments.

These are the people with high informal social capital. They are the ones who can organize a walkout, sway opinion, or unionize a team over lunch.

Next steps? I fired all three of them this morning for 'redundancy.'

You can't have alternative power structures competing with management.

Love the chocolates though.

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Too bad Scott Adams died just before getting to read this.

Little known fact, Hitler was one of the great appreciator of Valentines Day. Showered Eva Braun with flowers, hand made heart shaped doilies for the dogs to wear around their necks. Was said he invaded Czech because they made fun of one of his drawings. Lots of parallels to our no present situation

concordtom said:

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Too bad Scott Adams died just before getting to read this.

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Yes, right up his alley.