Shocky1
Your condescension is only exceeded by your dumb azz ego

Shocky1;842364943 said:

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not all of huf's strategic recuiting plans are gonna unfold exactly as planned

life ain't linear#

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Yes, and the interesting convo about Cal hoops is happening on page 263 of this thread. Conclusions? #RollOnShocky

ccajon;842364947 said:

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Funny how in the world according to Shocky, when one of our targeted recruits commits elsewhere, as have all of them so far, they were suddenly not a key target of the current staff. What's the excuse going to be in late spring when we still don't have a single commit, and Rabb commits to Kentucky. lmao..what a cluster **** this thread is.

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ccajon, its kinda clear that you are in pain from some raging fury & unresolved angst issues and to be honest with you, i'm kinda worried that you're gonna do something self destructive



but i'm only here to help those in need, so go ahead & honestly answer the following shocky happiness quiz so i can better diagnose you so we can create a more positive life action plan for you, ok?

do you got a yoga practice?


have you adopted a rescue dog (or two)?


are you eating healthy, organic non nitrate foods?...if you will eat more fruits & vegetables & bananas you're gonna like what happens next


when's the last time you birdied the short par 4 18th hole at the olympic club's lake course?...personally i like to play aggressively with a driver off the tee to hopefully leave a wedge from a relatively level lie rather than laying up off the tee & then being left with a longer slightly downhill tricky 2nd shot to the elevated green


have you ever had late night sex on the back of a moving cable car with a girl in a short skirt & a long jacket with cfm pumps?


are you a dumb azz?


-dr shock

namastae#

Vineyardview;842364938 said:

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rumor seem creditable - what happened?

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What creditable rumor? Dorsey already has a visit scheduled, and it's not this weekend. If Huf & Martin were actually trying to get Dorsey to change his visit date to be here with Sampson, that in itself gives no credence to Dorsey's willingness to reschedule.

And to you guys who don't like Shocky's thread, what are you doing reading it? Don't be a _______.

Dr. Shock, I was all worried about myself because I thought I had done none of those things, but I have done two. Just not the cable car thing. Despite that I think I'll be ok.

parentswerebears;842365074 said:

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Dr. Shock, I was all worried about myself because I thought I had done none of those things, but I have done two. Just not the cable car thing. Despite that I think I'll be ok.

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dude, it's never too late to pursue your goals & dreams in life

I eagled a Par 4 at tahoe this summer...does that count? And I don't like bananas.:axe

1) cuonzo grew up in east st louis, one of the most dangerous cities in the united states



nobody has ever confused east st louis with north scottsdale



2) gene keady stated that in his 55 yrs of coaching nobody every implemented halftime adjustments with his teammates like cuonzo before the coaches got into the locker room



3) cuonzo beat non-hodgkins lymphoma, a life threatening cancer at age 26



4) dude played in the nba...why is cuonzo martin/antonio harvey playing with his junk in public?...does the dude think he's invisible or what?...does #50 know how to tie his shoelaces or did the team just get him velcro closing shoes in order to keep it simple for him?



5) despite 35,000 tennessee fans signing a petition demanding his removal (until they made it into the sweet sixteen), he ignored them & focused on his players & the tasks at hand (going to classes & winning basketball games)



6) cuonzo ain't afraid to express himself...wondering what will be the seismic earthquake reading in berkeley if jabari continues to nonchalantly float back on d with martin on the sidelines?...mrs bird seems like a nice lady, somebody better cover her ears if that happens



7) cuonzo is receptive to sitting in the stands at haas & letting bears fans offer input re: inbound plays



8) cuonzo doesn't concern himself with criticism (kinda like the shockster)



9) cuonzo ain't afraid to express himself to the blind & deaf



10) cuonzo guys are true student athletes as validated by the volunteers bb most current apr score of 980



11) cuonzo goes on date nights with his wife roberta




12) cuonzo ain't afraid to take a selfie



13) cuonzo ain't reluctant to celebrate his birthday today (september 23rd)



bottom line, the recent recruiting decisions/roster gameplan strategy make it clear that cuonzo isn't gonna be beggin' anybody to go to classes, play d & rebound for the california golden bears


together we attack#

[SIZE=6]Rep the Bay[/SIZE]

when you are part of the roar at haas, you are creating energy for the bears & generating revenue $ for the bb program

one of the worst things a parent can do is model electronically related passivity towards their passions & life in general to their children...being a cal basketball tv fan is a terrible way to waste your life

so forget all your sorry broken down azz excuses & call the cal ato at 1-800-gobears to discuss a season tix pkg that fits your schedule & budget

roar a little bit



watching the bears on tv is for losers, do something with your life, i dunno maybe read a book, take your dogs for a walk, rob a bank, it don't matter as anything is better than watching the idiot box


get your azz of the sofa

ignorance is not bliss#

ccajon;842364947 said:

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Funny how in the world according to Shocky, when one of our targeted recruits commits elsewhere, as have all of them so far, they were suddenly not a key target of the current staff. What's the excuse going to be in late spring when we still don't have a single commit, and Rabb commits to Kentucky. lmao..what a cluster **** this thread is.

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ccajon, it is never my intent to recklessly interfere with other people's lives

so when everything you wrote above comes true, i'd like to apologize to you in person & treat you and an unlimited number of your family & friends at my favorite bay area restaurant for southern food, ok

let's meet at ol' yeller caf which is at 2708 98th avenue in oakland, across the street from bishop o'dowd high school & let's dine together on the delightful backyard patio which is also dog friendly...the oakland zoo is just around the corner



i dunno, the food is very tasty & most of the dishes might even meet the nicodemus high standards of nutritional excellence

see, my yoga practice is helping me become a better person that can apologize for my many mistakes

Lynch at Cal football practice...



[

[SIZE=7]Rep the Bay[/SIZE]

MontyBear;842365061 said:

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Yes, and the interesting convo about Cal hoops is happening on page 263 of this thread. Conclusions? #RollOnShocky

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monty, i have big dreams for cal basketball & other things too

my boy sammy singer is gonna be the bear's starting point guard this season & with the thin roster has gotta provide 28-32 mpg of solid leadership


dude is a bb player, just leave him some gym keys for his nighttime workouts...sam singer will not be outworked


i've been following singer's career for a while going back to conversations with his ransom everglades raiders head coach claude grubair re: sam's high character & his special ability to connect with people

my favorite memory of singer during the 2013 season was his ferocious fronting defense (mike went to a diamond d scheme with sam successfully denying the down low entry pass) against pac 12 leading rebounder/shot blocker 7'2" jordan bachynski during the asu game at haas which helped the bears get back into the game

you can learn a lot about a player by watching them during timeouts...singer was one of the few bears that was usually mentally engaged & supportive of his teammates during to's while other guys looked like they were lost in space

singer passed up too many open 3 pointers last season, he's gotta have confidence in his abilities & let it fly...otherwise, opposing pgs will pack the paint & double up on other bears

one of sammy's endearing qualities is that the dude likes to pat his teammates on the head like they are dogs...no doubt he's gonna adopt some rescue dogs down the road


sameach rossha shanna, sam

cal's monster class#

2015 asu commit jordan washington was arrested last week & charged with theft...washington is currently attending the indian hills community college (he barely graduated from high school in queens)...his booking charges include shoplifting from the ottumwa walmart the dvd of the curse of chucky (not to be confused with the curse of shocky)



i dunno, maybe jordan's defense attorney is gonna claim that his theft is related to his academic film studies of great american movies?

cal & asu ain't recruiting from the same academic & character talent pool that's for sure



update: herbie is no longer recruiting washington, the retailers on mill avenue just won't allow it

Shocky1;842365624 said:

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my boy sammy singer is gonna be the bear's starting point guard this season & with the thin roster has gotta provide 28-32 mpg of solid leadership


dude is a bb player, just leave him some gym keys for his nighttime workouts...sam singer will not be outworked


i've been following singer's career for a while going back to conversations with his ransom everglades raiders head coach claude grubair re: sam's high character & his special ability to connect with people

my favorite memory of singer during the 2013 season was his ferocious fronting defense (mike went to a diamond d scheme with sam successfully denying the down low entry pass) against pac 12 leading rebounder/shot blocker 7'2" jordan bachynski during the asu game at haas which helped the bears get back into the game

you can learn a lot about a player by watching them during timeouts...singer was one of the few bears that was usually mentally engaged & supportive of his teammates during to's while other guys looked like they were lost in space

singer passed up too many open 3 pointers last season, he's gotta have confidence in his abilities & let it fly...otherwise, opposing pgs will pack the paint & double up on other bears

one of sammy's endearing qualities is that the dude likes to pat his teammates on the head like they are dogs...no doubt he's gonna adopt some rescue dogs down the road


sameach rossha shanna, sam

cal's monster class#

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Let's hope you are on the money with this prediction that Singer will be the PG. Go Bears!

SFCityBear;842365903 said:

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Let's hope you are on the money with this prediction that Singer will be the PG. Go Bears!

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this isn't a prediction

12 year nba veteran sean rooks has indicated that while kameron's injury is disappointing, it is also a golden opportunity for his son to take his conditioning to the next level & also further develop his post moves during this upcoming blueshirt season...there is zero chance that kam is gonna play this season, that would not be in his best interests



jay john once told me that when he (and lute olson) coached sean during college it took a while before he developed into an unstoppable force

a former pac 12 head coach & a current pac 12 assistant coach have both told me that kameron is going to be "an absolute load" & "powerhouse down low" during his cal career

and yeah, kam loves his sister khayla too


kameron's gotta stay focused (which is hard to do if you have monkey voices in your head like me) with the nicodemus s&c program & not dream about drinking mimosas at the krabby patty





how shocky paid his way thru college#

Shocky1;842365510 said:

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ccajon, it is never my intent to recklessly interfere with other people's lives

so when everything you wrote above comes true, i'd like to apologize to you in person & treat you and an unlimited number of your family & friends at my favorite bay area restaurant for southern food, ok?



let's meet at ol' yeller caf which is at 2708 98th avenue in oakland, across the street from bishop o'dowd high school & let's dine together on the delightful backyard patio which is also dog friendly...the oakland zoo is just around the corner



i dunno, the food is very tasty & most of the dishes might even meet the nicodemus high standards of nutritional excellence

see, my yoga practice is helping me become a better person that can apologize for my many mistakes

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Shocky, I hope it never comes to that, because if it does, it means that once again, the elite HS ballers you, our fellow cyberbears, and I that we all want so desperately to play for Cal, don't want to, for some reason. I've given up trying to figure out what a dump like Tuscon has over the Bay Area, except for the fact they've a marginally better arena, and a somewhat more volatile fan base. Even the furds already have 2 4++ stars committed for '15.

check out jabari bird getting challenged by track star (and former bears softball player) khala taylor at cal basketball's student challenge


the best teams play together fearlessly with smiles on their faces like little kids playing basketball


make sure you get out to sproul plaza (which is gonna have a hoop set up) today between noon and 1:00 pm & meet the guys while winning some prizes & stuff during the colorado pep rally with the cal band & cheerleaders



so you think you can clownpunk tyrone wallace with your mad basketball skills, this is your chance

this is cal basketball#

the candy azz soft bears gotta eat less sugar & empty carbs and focus more upon more organic, nitrate free healthy meals...if you eat more fruits & vegetables like bananas you'll like what happens next


http://www.calbears.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=749497&SPID=126528&DB_LANG=C&DB_OEM_ID=30100&ATCLID=209540186

those most impacted by this recommendation:

***if your cute filipina beauty pageant girlfriend can bench press more than you
***if travis decuire's nickname for you is "chunk"
***if nba scouts think you lack the strength to play the 2 in the league
***if you weighed almost 300 lbs in hs & couldn't jump over a krabby patty
***if you are a walk on seeking playing time in the pac 12
***if strangers look at you & your buff nba veteran bro & ask you if you are related
***if you have been compared unfavorably to the pillsbury dough boy
***if ballers in the big east pushed you around like a rag doll
***if skeptics think you are too slow, too jewish to guard elite pac 12 pgs
***if your weightlifting bro in england calls you "little man" even tho you are over 7'
***if you are recovering from 2 knee surgeries
***if your perimeter game 3 pt shooting mechanics fall apart when you are tired at the end of games
***if the lead singer of st lucia (who looks like you) has got more muscles/weight than a potential pac 12 leader in blocks & rebounds
***if your broken down sorry azz can do a headstand but not a handstand

"might have some chocolate chip cookies.might not tho"they have to be soft tho"
-t-wall retweet


together we eat#
ruh roh#

chancellor nicky d & his crew have accepted the task force's 54 recommendations to ensure that future student athletes graduate from cal...the expectation for grad rates will be raised from the current 67% to 91% which is more in line with the general student body...furthermore, there is an admissions component that cal must recruit student athletes that are committed & capable of graduating with a diploma

the message to prospective cal student athletes is simple: "don't be a dumb azz"

mike montgomery & his staff did an outstanding job cleaning up the ben braun academic cesspool & all indications are that cuonzo martin & his staff are also 100% dedicated to fulfilling the university's academic mission

not everyone that puts on a bears jersey is gonna play 10 years in the league but everyone can earn a diploma that will truly open doors in life

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world

[video=youtube;CdgSgAbTKGw][/video]

this is cal basketball#

brandon sampson is an explosively smooth 6'4" 170 lbs top 40 2015 guard from baton rouge's madison prep that is blowing up this summer on the aau circuit

a pac 12 coach told me that sampson could potentially be 2 & done & that he projects as a strong nba prospect



the biggest decision in this recruitment is whether or not he wants to play at lsu (which is 10 minutes from his house & a former hs teammate jarell martin plays for the tigers) or does he want to maybe get out of the south & experience something new & get a world class education?



pretty sure I know what snoop dogg's decision would be


sampson's 5 official visits will likelly be to cal (huf is his guy), lsu (sept 19th tigers football weekend with mom), st johns (october 17th) and both ucla & usc (has never experienced high levels of air pollution before)

brandon is currently officially visiting cal & made it in time to enjoy today's noon football/basketball prep rally at sproul

cal family#
50 yr decision#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the south)

m83 celebrates why midnight city is bear territory (check out huf's crazy azz sax solo)






brandon, the san francisco bay area is one of the most exciting & culturally diverse cities not only in the united states but also in the world (sorry but the city by the bay don't got any shoneys)

together we attack#
bears on the prowl#

it is absolutely redunkulous that the cal football & basketball programs do not have games scheduled with james madison this season....that **** will change when i accept the athletic director position




gameday in berkeley#
beat syracuse#
don't be a dumb azz#

Just for Shocky...

[video]http://zippy.gfycat.com/VengefulMistyArgentineruddyduck.webm[/video]

Shocky1;842366578 said:

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it is absolutely redunkulous that the cal football & basketball programs do not have games scheduled with james madison this season....that **** will change when i accept the athletic director position




gameday in berkeley#
beat syracuse#
don't be a dumb azz#

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Perhaps our new Bear Bowers can help with that?

epic bears double overtime victory over the buffs thx to bishop o'dowd's hardy nickerson's goal line smashmouth stops on d which led to james langford's clutch field goal splitting the uprights & the senior being carried off the field on his teammates' shoulders at a frenzied memorial stadium on a perfect nor cal afternoon

who really is ivan rabb?

bod's team manager/assistant coach last season lucas cortez has a heart defect which is kinda surprising because he seems to have the heart of 10,000 ferocious golden bears



so when the senior (lucas is #14) finally got into a game late in the season, check out the reaction of ivan (#23) when something magical happened


ivan's ecstatic celebration (1st teammate to run onto the court) tells you all you gotta know about him, the dragons all american is unselfish & loves his teammates

so after the ucla game at haas last season, i asked bod hc lou richie (a ucla grad & a tight friend with theo robertson) who brought all his dragons to berkeley if he would introduce me to my idol (lucas, of course...donors can never speak with any potential recruits)...richie introduces me to the man of the hour & i tell an enthusiastic lucas he's got a sweet j & that he's an inspiration to me and everyone...the personable lucas thanks me & then humbly introduces me to the guy he thinks deserves all the credit, his teammate who took the video of this epic event...i tell his teammate that clips from the video are going viral & that he's gonna be a hollywood producer someday riding in stretch limos...all the dragons including ivan are laughing in agreement about that

go dragons#
the unassuming superstar#

update: on the way up to memorial stadium today i went by haas pavilion & visited with my idol

am i talkin about beast mode?

nope, i'm talkin about lucas cortez who is now a cal basketball student manager who was recruited for the bears program by cuonzo martin...lucas told me he rocked a 3.5 gpa at the academically rigorous bishop o'dowd & that he hopes to pursue a career in sports management...kinda upset that i forget to get his autograph but sometimes i'm a dumb azz (but all of you already knew that)

cal/bishop o'dowd family#

enjoyed a lovely dinner at the intimate & charming frascati's tonite on russian hill with family & friends on a beautifully clear fall evening in san francisco


after dinner while we were strolling thru little italy in north beach i wandered off by myself to check out an old lady of an undeterminable ethnic background methodically checking the street's garbage cans for recyclable cans & bottles


i say hello, she smiles & keeps working

so mr world traveler says hello in a dozen+ languages, she smiles & keeps working

so i pick up a few cans in the gutter, crush them with the heel of my dress shoes & put them in her shopping cart, she smiles & keeps working

i'm done talking (still hoarse from the game this afternoon at memorial) so we just quietly work together collecting cans & bottles...our pace develops a cadence & rhythm of two hearts working together

shay & taylor drift over to see what their crazy azz dad is doing now & then they start helping her too, the old lady still hasn't said anything...the only sounds are of cans being crushed, seagulls squawking & a police siren in the distance

finally it's time to leave so i give her all my cash in my pockets (just a little south of $1,000), she barely looks at the money & is instead eyeing my green plastic perrier bottle in my jacket...so i give her that bottle too...she smiles broadly now & says something in a language i don't understand

as we are leaving, i take one final look back over my shoulder to see if the old lady is gonna take her cash home & call it a night

nope, she is still working

her indefatigable & quietly stoic work ethic reminds me of mothers everywhere who tirelessly work to support & keep their families together...she is my mom, your mom, ivan rabb's mom, she is everyone's mom

i love you, mom

-your mama's boy

Shocky1;842368060 said:

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enjoyed a lovely dinner at the intimate & charming frascati's tonite on russian hill with family & friends on a beautifully clear fall evening in san francisco


after dinner while we were strolling thru little italy in north beach i wandered off by myself to check out an old lady of an undeterminable ethnic background methodically checking the street's garbage cans for recyclable cans & bottles


i say hello, she smiles & keeps working

so mr world traveler says hello in a dozen+ languages, she smiles & keeps working

so i pick up a few cans in the gutter, crush them with the heel of my dress shoes & put them in her shopping cart, she smiles & keeps working

i'm done talking (still hoarse from the game this afternoon at memorial) so we just quietly work together collecting cans & bottles...our pace develops a cadence & rhythm of two hearts working together

shay & taylor drift over to see what their crazy azz dad is doing now & then they start helping her too, the old lady still hasn't said anything...the only sounds are of cans being crushed, seagulls squawking & a police siren in the distance

finally it's time to leave so i give her all my cash in my pockets (just a little south of $1,000), she barely looks at the money & is instead eyeing my green plastic perrier bottle in my jacket...so i give her that bottle too...she smiles broadly now & says something in a language i don't understand

as we are leaving, i take one final look back over my shoulder to see if the old lady is gonna take her cash home & call it a night

nope, she is still working

her indefatigable & quietly stoic work ethic reminds me of mothers everywhere who tirelessly work to support & keep their families together...she is my mom, your mom, ivan rabb's mom, she is everyone's mom

i love you, mom

-your mama's boy

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Shocky: What would Fox News make of this?

there's a lot of inaccurate info out there re: the 2014 playing time allocations...the bears roster will be very thin this season (which will not be an issue in 2015 & beyond as the team is built via recruiting) which means that guys are gonna have to stay healthy in order to play the up tempo ball favored by coach martin & his staff

the starters:
1-sam "the day of the dog" singer: 28-32 mpg, sammy's lack of top end quickness will be offset by his size, unselfish style of ball & most importantly his heart of a champion
2-jordan "en fuego" mathews: 28-32 mpg, jordan needs to bring a more consistent positive mental approach to his 3 point shooting every game...when the sometimes streaky ocean league mvp is on, opponents are gonna be burned
3-jabari "alcatraz" bird: 30-34 mpg, jabari needs to ferociously rebound & sprint back on d like a prisoner at the rock running for the getaway boat
4-tyrone "t-wall" wallace: 30-34 mpg, tyrone needs to rediscover the joy of being a little kid playing basketball, find his inner 12 year old self playing ball on the school's courtyard with passion & without fear leading his teammates to victories
5-david "doc" kravish: 30-34 mpg, the smartest bear of them all needs to stay out of foul trouble...expect cuonzo to play more zone d than we'll see in future seasons in order to protect our only proven big

the 1st guys off the bench:
"prince" roger moute a bidias: 10-20 mpg: perhaps the bears only high level pac 12 athlete not starting, the steadily improving roger can be an energy guy who fights for loose balls & challenges opponents on d
christian "the fast & furious" behrens: 10-15 mpg a healthy productive summer working out for the 1st time since he arrived in berkeley, christian is no stranger to adversity & if he can channel his inner beast mode that would allow cuonzo the luxury of playing 2 bigs on the court

role players:
dwight "let go to shoneys" tarwater: 10+ mpg, dwight reported to berkeley out of shape but he knows where to be on the court & will bring undersized rebounding grit to the bears
"sir" kingsley okoroh: 5+ mpg, kingsley has size but needs to lose the lovely afternoon tea at the dorchester mentality & evolve into a ******* bad azz on the court
brandon "boom boom" chauca: 5+ mpg, brandon will be an instant fan favorite but needs to work on his slow & low release point technique on his 3 point shooting

the walk ons:
dudes are 1 injury away from real playing time


together we attack#

mikecohen;842368081 said:

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Shocky: What would Fox News make of this?

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i dunno, i haven't watched television in a couple of months