cal's monster class - thread CLOSED - PLEASE do not post here

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Shocky1
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so when sf city bear retired from the board last season i invited him to be my guest at a game, wanted to tell him how much i've enjoyed his insightful bears commentary (he actually went to sf city pro am games & was the 1st person to report that jabari lacked basic defensive fundamentals coming out of high school)

so we meet for the 1st time before the game at haas & he's a good guy...sf city bear tells me his concerns re: t-wall's game which i politely (for me) refute

anyways, t-wall throws down the moneyball at the buzzer vs them usc trojans & the stormin' the floor thing happens at haas on a magic nite
[video=youtube;N7QqouIxulM][/video]

but sf city bear stays within a couple of feet of his floor seat like a law abiding california golden bear until mr purple shirt dumb azz eventually returns to the sidelines

so before we head our separate ways into the beautiful bay area night, i tell sf city bear his support of the bears is important & encourage his eventual return...i'm the kind of guys that hugs strangers at the end of golf rounds, so i give sf city bear a quick hug which was kinda funny because he's of that generation where men don't do that kind of **** with each other


that's ok, sf city bear is gonna hopefully continue roaring for them california golden bears

the magic of haas (includes connecting with those that also bleed blue & gold)#
Shocky1
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Shocky1;842453198 said:

bears gotta play 40 minutes of defense, diamond plus one




the bears basketball players & coaches weren't the only passive azz cal team to get clownpunked by asu twice last season

the cal dance & cheerleading teams were also owned by their sun devils counterparts

the bears got a couple of team members that need to relentlessly work on their conditioning this summer, they're gonna be on viewed on a nationwide basis due to the arrival of cal's diamonds are forever class (2015)...they gotta works their azzs off this offseason, core out & go to yoga 5 days a week (like me)...chunky legs are not acceptable (not even for bases) for this upcoming season, the cal basketball program is gonna be on center stage...this is prime time, baby

they are athletes & should be conditioned as such...tiphanie, kristen & danielle need to set higher expectations & if some current members don't want to make the necessary commitment to excellence, then they should be replaced immediately...diane milano has provided failed leadership to these programs, what does she actually do ever day to justify her cal salary?

if (k)rooks can significantly lower his body fat & dramatically reshape his body via disciplined hard work, some of our dance & cheerleading team members can get their butts into the gym this summer too

shut up, shocky#




under diane milano's failed leadership, it has become apparent that major changes within the cal dance & cheerleading programs are necessary



therefore do not be surprised if nicky d & his crew reach out to me to assist with both programs to facilitate a one year turnaround transformation

the keys steps under this transition will include:

*****mandatory yoga classes 5 days a week
*****cal basketball playerl level intense s&c workouts with coach christopher 3 days a week
*****6:00 am wednesday morning sessions on the water at the lake merritt rowing club
*****36 holes walking golf rounds at tilden park carrying our clubs on saturday mornings
*****3 hr walks with rescue dogs from the berkeley no kill animal shelter on tuesday & sunday evenings
*****training table meals with tasty selections from whole (paycheck) foods...effective immediately king pin, blondies & top dog will be banned food groups (except for me)

but it won't be all work & no fun...we will travel to ibiza (on my dime) for an annual spring break team building week & an opportunity to be off to the races



let's be real here, we're gonna be so successful that eventually the cal dance & cheerleading teams will make invited guest appearances at the milan fashion week, the olympics opening ceremonies & the united states presidential inauguration



this would be a tremendous sacrifice on my part but in life you are either part of the solution or part of the problem, there's nothing else

let's do this, baby

IT Dept Note: This is NOT going to happen.
GMP
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Shocky1;842498781 said:





Hey, is that Cliff Claven?
stu
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Shocky1;842498781 said:

*****6:00 am wednesday morning sessions on the water at the lake merritt rowing club


Monday: 5:30 a.m. - 7:15 a.m.
Tuesday: 6 p.m. - 8 p.m.
Friday: 5:30 a.m.- 7:15 a.m.
Saturday: 7 a.m - 9 a.m.
concordtom
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Shocky1;842498781 said:


but it won't be all work & no fun...we will travel to ibiza (on my dime) for an annual spring break team building week & an opportunity to be off to the races



Hi Mr. Shocky:
Since I know you like to post lots of fun, hip, sexy content on this blog of yours that will hopefully be attractive to potential Cal basketball recruits, but, and not that there's anything wrong with this, but, are you SURE that you want to pay for the team to travel to IBIZA? I mean, for one thing, it's probably against NCAA rules on extra benefits.
joe amos yaks
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Yeah, there's more to do in Barcelona.
bearmanpg
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concordtom;842498872 said:

Hi Mr. Shocky:
Since I know you like to post lots of fun, hip, sexy content on this blog of yours that will hopefully be attractive to potential Cal basketball recruits, but, and not that there's anything wrong with this, but, are you SURE that you want to pay for the team to travel to IBIZA? I mean, for one thing, it's probably against NCAA rules on extra benefits.



I didn't know the cheerleaders came under NCAA regs too......
Shocky1
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stu;842498855 said:

Monday: 5:30 a.m. - 7:15 a.m.
Tuesday: 6 p.m. - 8 p.m.
Friday: 5:30 a.m.- 7:15 a.m.
Saturday: 7 a.m - 9 a.m.



stu, appreciate your assistance with the women's coxless four before the dawn

them workouts not gonna be some joke



californai golden bear intensity#
Shocky1
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joe yaks;842498877 said:

Yeah, there's more to do in Barcelona.


excellent thought, joe, the ibiza trip will be extended to include 3 nights in barcelona



that will give me time to run over to play again my favorite course (much better than runner up valderrama) en espana, el saler in valencia


viva los osos#
NVGolfingBear
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Shocky1;842498997 said:


stu, appreciate your assistance with the women's coxless four before the dawn

them workouts not gonna be some joke



californai golden bear intensity#


Intensity!

That's how you will row if you trailing that coxless fours.

Gotta catch up... the view from behind is of open water...
Shocky1
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concordtom;842498872 said:

Hi Mr. Shocky:
Since I know you like to post lots of fun, hip, sexy content on this blog of yours that will hopefully be attractive to potential Cal basketball recruits, but, and not that there's anything wrong with this, but, are you SURE that you want to pay for the team to travel to IBIZA? I mean, for one thing, it's probably against NCAA rules on extra benefits.



the prez of the brenden glapion fan club coerced me ("dad, you don't want brenden left at home and missing the trip, do you?" said with big sad almost crying eyes) at the cal basketball team banquet to sponsor him for a tax deducitble $5,500 to ensure his travels on the australia trip


so as long as the $ is donated directly to cal (and not the individual dance & cheerleading team members) for the ibiza/barcelona trip, there shouldn't be any ncca issues...i dunno maybe we could save a couple bucks in ibiza by sleeping 3 in a bed or something


jordan mathews has already volunteered to help out on the trip


logisitics#
HoopDreams
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concordtom
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bearmanpg;842498880 said:

I didn't know the cheerleaders came under NCAA regs too......


Oh, OH!
He wants to take the girls to Ibiza?
Oh, missed that. Yes, that's a good idea.
I thought he wanted to take the basketball team there. Less good idea.
#readingforcomprehension
concordtom
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Shocky1;842498781 said:








Funny, but these photos do nothing for me.
Could it be there is too much red?
Shocky1
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Shocky1;842461316 said:

christian montaque behrens and his mom andrea & sister rachel along with dad bj watching over his shoulder is gonna participate in today's senior day ceremonies

dude has battled major injuries yet has returned to the battlefield with his indefatigable spirit...christian is respected by his teammates & coaches and is a true student athlete that has always done things the right way in life

yeah, cb is gonna play fast & furious, would not be surprised if he takes his signature grandes bolas charge vs the out of control beavers, would not be surprised at all



"christian is a wonderful young man both on and off the court...he made great strides in basketball during the 12 months we have had the pleasure to coach him...we support christian in this decision and wish him all the best as he prepares for the next step in his life...most importantly, christian will earn his degree from the university of california next month which will create tremendous opportunities for him...we will support him however we can along the way"
-coach martin

"i want to thank the entire cal athletics family for giving me this tremendous opportunity to represent the golden bears...i am on track to graduate in may with a degree from the world's #1 public institution which is a great honor...i believe at this time i want to start a new chapter in my basketball career and pursue professional opportunities...i cherish my experiences here at cal and have created friendships here that will last a lifetime...i will always be a golden bear"

"my most memorable moment at cal was beating undefeated then top ranked arizona at home last year"

"i can't thank our fans and donors for their tremendous passion throughout my career...without you every wonderful experience i have had at this amazing school wouldn't be as nearly as memorable"
-christian behrens

gonna really miss cal's fast & furious beast mode...#14 came to berkeley in the summer & will be leaving berkeley this summer with a degree from the #1 public university in the world & a million crazy memories




missed saying goodbye to cb at the team banquet while he was "pursuing international opportunities"

"wow i can't believe i just moved out of my house in berkeley...on the road ready to start the next chapter in my life...i'm gonna miss cal!"
-christian behrens
Cal Geek
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concordtom;842499079 said:

Oh, OH!
He wants to take the girls to Ibiza?
Oh, missed that. Yes, that's a good idea.
I thought he wanted to take the basketball team there. Less good idea.
#readingforcomprehension


Actually, I think Shocky did say he was sponsoring one of the players. Not sure if that actually would be a good idea. NCAA violation to do so?
concordtom
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Cal Geek;842499093 said:

Actually, I think Shocky did say he was sponsoring one of the players. Not sure if that actually would be a good idea. NCAA violation to do so?


Sorry, I think you are missing something.
Perhaps you should go take in the nightlife in Ibiza and then report back.
Have a few drinks in a local bar, ask the gents about the scene. They'll fill you in.
Shocky1
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concordtom;842499095 said:

Sorry, I think you are missing something.
Perhaps you should go take in the nightlife in Ibiza and then report back.
Have a few drinks in a local bar, ask the gents about the scene. They'll fill you in.


that's never a bad idea, the barkeep usually knows the lay of the land

concordtom
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Bogart should take the other guy's knight with his pawn.
At least, I'm confident that's what Harper would do!
concordtom
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I bet Kameron would very soon use the opportunity for a kingside castling so he can bring his Rook into play.
Shocky1
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joe yaks;842498515 said:

I bet Coach Miller goes for the glazed French cruller.

BTW--
"How do you know you are in a Tucson hotel?
You call down to the front desk and say 'I gotta leak in my sink' and they say 'go ahead.'"




joe, sounds like the legendary tucson inn


tuscon is a dump#
Shocky1
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alex pribble, former cal basketball player & eastern washington assistant coach has been named head coach of st martins in lacey, washington which competes in the great northwest athletic conference

jason scheer is reporting that an emotionally distraught (dude needs a yoga practice) sean miller also applied (but was rejected for failing the physical) for the st martins position because of his increased stress levels due to the shifting of power within the pac 12, the cold fact that tuscon is a dump with nasty hygiene hotels & that the great northwest athletic conference is the home to several voodoo donuts locations...sean likes them variety assortment boxes, he's multiple that way


heart attack hand grenades#
Shocky1
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the cal staff is very interested in noah dickerson, a 6'8" 250 lbs post interior brute from north atlanta currently attending montverde high school in florida (teammate is ben simmons) who is a top 75 player in the 2015 class


dickerson has got range to 10-12 feet with a physical style of play...his upside with coach wyking jones working with him both on & off the court to realize his potential is significant

noah's current plan is to visit texas, washington, cal & possibly lsu...none of these other schools are academically of the same calibre as cal in terms of opening doors in the future once basketball is done with dickerson

this is an important distinction because noah isn't some dumb azz...he's a strong student that originally committed to georgetown & also had duke in his final 5...basketball does not define noah dickerson

"cal is a great school, a great academic school...coach martin is trying to start something big at cal, start a powerhouse...he also likes to play two bigs at the same time"
-noah dickerson




shine bright#
HoopDreams
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[video=youtube;6LXLV3yb3EM][/video]
HoopDreams
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[SIZE=5][COLOR="#0000CD"]Gennifer Brandon[/COLOR] who helped Cal reach the Final Four, was waived by the WNBA Chicago Sky
A special basketball talent, and a truly warm and wonderful spirit...good luck to her[/SIZE]

joe amos yaks
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Shocky1;842499128 said:



joe, sounds like the legendary tucson inn


tuscon is a dump#


Good grief. Is Tucson in the "Jell-O Belt"?
Shocky1
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Shocky1;842493683 said:

jaylen hands, a dynamic 6'2" 155 lbs point guard from chula vista & a top 20 player in the 2017 class, has been offered by the bears staff

"cal has done a great job of recruiting this year and that's something i'm looking at"
-jaylen hands

jaylen had been considered a ucla lean with arizona running a tight 2nd position but let's be real here, there's a new national powerhouse program in the united states with much stronger academics than both ucla & arizona that's located in the cosmopolitan and diverse san francisco/oakland bay area



jaylen hands would be a potential dynamic impact leader for cal's touch the sky class (2017) to assure the current upward recruiting trajectory of the california golden bears basketball program:

cal's monster class (2013)
cal's doses & mimosas class (2014)
cal's diamonds are forever class (2015)
cal's howlin' at the moon class (2016)
cal's touch the sky class (2017)
cal's unnamed class (2018)*

*the vision is jordan brown, elijah hardy & ideally marvin bagley

jaylen has got a busy summer schedule trying out for the team usa squad starting on may 28th & also playing for the compton magic aau team but still intends to unofficially visit berkeley with his dad ronnie who knows coach wyking jones from playground games growing up in inglewood back in the day

the bears staff will be most successful when all 5 coaches (coach martin, huf, tracy, wyking & nicodemus) build relationships with prospective recruits & their families...these 5 guys comprise arguably the most likable & hardest working collegiate basketball staff in the nation, a staff that will compete with anybody including coach cal for any recruit with academic ambition in the united states

some valuable recruiting lessons were learned (from my perspective) this year in chasing guys with overly involved dads/selfish position demands like tyler dorsey & bennie boatwright and guys who lack the necessary academic ambition to flourish at cal like brandon sampson (no ncca qualifying score) but obviously the diamonds are forever class (2015) has transformed the #1 public university in the world to an epic turning point on the basketball court that even pudgy noted donuts expert sean miller has conceded that cal could win the national championship this upcoming season

this **** is getting live

do you got your season tix(s) at haas?...why not?...man, you don't wanna be like that lupe fiasco

this is cal basketball#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public (#3 overall) university in the world

petalumabear
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Shocky1;842499318 said:

alex pribble, former cal basketball player & eastern washington assistant coach has been named head coach of st martins in lacey, washington which competes in the great northwest athletic conference

jason scheer is reporting that an emotionally distraught (dude needs a yoga practice) sean miller also applied (but was rejected for failing the physical) for the st martins position because of his increased stress levels due to the shifting of power within the pac 12, the cold fact that tuscon is a dump with nasty hygiene hotels & that the great northwest athletic conference is the home to several voodoo donuts locations...sean likes them variety assortment boxes, he's multiple that way


heart attack hand grenades#


Voodoo would be the perfect expression (for Sean) of your donut fetish for him.... Heck, knowing the voodoo folks a bit (son is a Duck) they would probably be more than happy to design a Miller-nut.... perhaps that might be a bridge too far...
Shocky1
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k(rooks), christian, stephen, brenden, brandon, ivan & shocky are all mutts




hopa hopa#
NYCGOBEARS
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Dana Altman is still a criminal.
HoopDreams
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[SIZE=5][COLOR="#0000CD"]Jabari Bird[/COLOR] has improved each year, but injuries have set him back
Now with a team built to run and attack, we will see Bird [FONT=Arial Black]fly[/FONT][/SIZE]



mikecohen
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Shocky1;842499490 said:



k(rooks), christian, stephen, brenden, brandon, ivan & shocky are all mutts




hopa hopa#


It must be said: The actual truth: We're all mutts!
OdontoBear66
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mikecohen;842499561 said:

It must be said: The actual truth: We're all mutts!


+1, and there is no way to make it smell politically correct.
Shocky1
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Shocky1;842399670 said:

Dear Shocky,

Thank you for reviewing in depth my strategic academic repositioning gameplan for the University of Nevada Las Vegas. Your sage suggestion that we consider not allowing escort agencies to come on campus and setting up information booths during the spring UNLV Career Job Fair is one I'm taking a hard look at acting upon during the upcoming year.

Although I can't publicly agree with you for obvious reasons in my current professional capacity, I wholeheartedly embrace your often repeated and brilliantly insightful thesis that highly attractive females from academically mediocre schools seek out Cal, Stanford and Ivy League grads as future boyfriends and husbands.

Shocky, this leads me to my simple request: Would you please introduce Tyrone Wallace to my daughter Aurielle?


Would you please check with Mr. Wallace and Mr. Marco Harris at the next game and confirm back to me that Tyrone will be graduating from Cal during the 2015/2016 academic year? I do not want my only daughter hooking up with a "Dumb Azz" that hasn't actually graduated from Cal, as you know college drop outs have no future in the competitive worldwide economy. Gosh, it's awfully fun to speak like you, Shocky!

Please convey to Tyrone that Aurielle (pictured below) is a recent honor role graduate of UNLV in our well regarded Horse Track Racing Transportation major, that she is very cheerful and loves all animals. Tyrone likes bareback horse riding, right Shocky?

Best regards,

Dean Wormer




Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

Thank you for the outstanding news that Tyrone is going to graduate with a diploma from the #1 public university in the world!

Would you please check with the California basketball coaching staff with regards to Tyrone staying at my daughter Aurielle's condo (with a couple of her girlfriends) during the upcoming Las Vegas Invitational November 26-27th rather than at the New Orleans with his teammates?

To be honest with you, Aurielle and her UNLV girlfriends now that they've graduated are all interested in dating and potentially marrying Cal, Stanford and Ivy League grads. That's the way of the world.

Don't worry Shocky, I've got your back for floor seats for both games here in Las Vegas. I won't give your seats to the Spieker family (unless they build a state of the art aquatics facility for UNLV). My word is my most valued and treasured commodity, that's not for sale.

Best regards,

Dean Wormer
HoopDreams
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[SIZE=5]gonna be fun watching [COLOR="#0000CD"]Jaylen[/COLOR] destroy defenders this year...[/SIZE]

[video=youtube;akqAI_urBgQ][/video]
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