Shocky1;842521621 said:
jeff goodman is reporting that the emotionally distraught arizona head coach had the following paranoid conversation with his pool guy trevor (an arizona grad) this morning at his catalina foothils home (which is at the end of a cul de sac of a mediocre cartball course):
trevor the pool guy: "mr miller, would you like me to sweep the pool steps today?"
sean miller (putting down the 2 glazed with sprinkles donuts he's eating for breakfast along with a zero coke): "what the **** are you talking about?...you think we lose twice to wisconsin and now cal is gonna sweep us next season?...quit ******* with me"
trevor: "mr miller, all i'm saying is..."
sean: "look pal, i'm know exactly what you're saying, do you think i'm ******* stupid?...that cal and that bald azz coach is gonna be the new alpha dog in the pac 12...trust me, i hear exactly what you're saying...if you don't like cleaning my pool, you should get the **** out of here and go clean the pools at asu"
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josh gershon is now reporting the following tense arizona staff meeting from the bowels of mckale this morning:
sean: "what's going on with you ugly dumb azz clowns?...did you watch the mcdonalds game, allonzo trier jacked up 20 shots, what's up with that?"
joe: "coach, i think..."
sean: "shut the **** up, joe, don't talk unless i ask you to talk, ok?...you're the dumb azz who told me to jettison tyler dorsey and his little league dad for trier...if i wanted a guard to jack up a million lousy shots a game we could've kept td"
damon: "coach, what does jettison mean?"
sean: "shut the **** up, damon...you really are stupid, where did you go to college?"
silence in the room
sean: "look, all i ask is that you dumb azz bitches get me 3-4 basketball players a year that all they wanna to do is play basketball with a basketball on the basketball floor, is that asking for too much?...it's not like cal or stanford where you gotta find guys that can actually read and **** like that"
sean scarfs down the final chocolate glazed donut with fuchsia sprinkles from the double sized box
sean: "if that bald azz guy in berkeley gets his program ahead of my program next season, you sorry broken down candy azz soft clowns are gonna be busing tables at the applebees on craycroft"
miller storms out of the room & the door slams closed
damon (shaking his head): "you got yours printed up?"
joe: "yeah, i'm a step ahead, mine will be ready at kinkos at 5:30 pm today"
sean miller needs a yoga practice#
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jason scheer is reporting that tucson is a dump & that sean miller had the following heated conversation at his catalina foothills home (on a mediocre golf course for chunky monkey cartballers):
amy miller: "come on sean, put down the maple glazed donuts and come swim with me and the kids"
sean miller (looking at his bloated belly while taking a couple more bites): "that doesn't sound like any fun"
amy: "sweetie, things aren't that bad, didn't you out recruit cal for one guy this year?"
sean: "are you ******* kidding?...mark ******* tollefsen?
amy: "fine, throw a pity party for yourself"
sean: "trust me, i will"
sean (petting his dog lute on the head): "lute, you're really my only friend, how do you think next season is gonna be vs cal?"
lute (wagging his tail): "ruf"
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adam schimdt is tweeting he overheard the following angry interaction from the bowels of mckale this morning:
athletic director greg bryne: "sean, gotta be honest here, i'm a little more than worried about your stress levels and behavior these days, you're cursing at your staff daily and gaining a lot of weight...jim and arte are concerned too"
sean (wiping his mouth with his arizona golf shirt to get the red & blue sprinkles off his lips while picking up another donut): "what the **** are you talkin' about?"
greg (with a sigh): "why did damon leave for basically a lateral position at memphis?"
sean (talking with his mouth full): "who knows, who cares, him and josh always had some weird **** going on, anyways we don't need any more guys from the northwest to be successful"
greg: "do you think you'll be able to beat cal 3 times again next season?"
sean picks up the dunkin' donuts variety pack box in front of him, tucks it under his arm & walks out while slamming the door...he really, really likes them variety boxes, he's multiple that way
seasons change, people change, the balance of power in the pac 12 is changing, sean miller is never gonna change & stop eating them heart attack hand grenades, he loves them dunkin' donuts...who knew that huf is the lead singer for future islands?
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greg hansen is reporting the following private client/patient conversation between sean miller & the chair of the university medical center's psychiatric department:
sean (glumly laying down on the sofa while morosely picking the blue sprinkles off a chocolate glazed maple bar): "what up, doc?"
dr kalbearski: "sean, a lot of people are worried about you including amy, are you in a good place these days?"
sean (sarcastically): "other than the balance of power in the pac 12 shifting from tucson to berkeley, what would i be upset about?...we lost ivan rabb and jaylen brown to that bald azz guy and now not even loyal wildcats like sean rooks and steve kerr will send their kids to me"
dr kalbearski: "sean, i think it's important that you keep a balanced perspective to ensure your mental health, that you try to maintain a realistic appraisal of your current environment"
sean: "what the **** are you talkin' about?"
dr kalbearski: "tuscon is a dump"
tuscon's #1 ranked hotel, the legendary tucson inn
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eric bossi is reporting the following conversation from the dunkin' donuts on ina road this evening:
amy miller: "honey, relax, losing tj leaf isn't the end of the world, right?"
sean miller (stuffing a strawberry jam maple bar in his mouth): "are you serious, we're probably gonna lose him to ucla and them adidas shoes and that totally ***** up our chances with jaylen hands visiting this weekend, might as well just get drunk again during his visit, we got zero ******* chance now"
amy: (sipping a diet dr pepper): "kinda weird how all the arizona fans thought your being coach of the usa team would help recruiting"
sean: "our fans are around 90 years old and live in retirement communities in green valley, they don't know ****"
amy: "well at least you got to spend time with archie"
sean: "**** archie, he never shares them donuts, he's just a greedy chunky monkey"
amy: "sweetie, what's really bothering you?"
sean: "that bald azz guy in berkeley is closing the gap on our program, i'd really like to kick the crap out of that shocky guy too, he's ******* annoying"
amy: "i really wish you wouldn't swear so much around the kids & maybe you could pay more attention to us, ok?"
sean (glumly): "what?"
bear down#
"cal is going to be a terrific team...cuonzo martin and his staff have done a tremendous job...i'm not saying this because coach is here but mike montgomery did a great job as well...i think what cal has done is they blend two elements a lot like we have done the last two years in that they have an influx of new talent that are among the best but also a veteran group that has been coach well, that has been through multiple pac 12 seasons and that have the opportunity to to be all conference players, players like tyrone wallace and jabari bird and those guys are good players as well"
-sean miller, noted donut expert, at the pac 12 media day
jordan mathews, is it ******* acceptable to you that sean miller doesn't think you are an all conference player?...when you play them arizona wildcats make sure he learns who you are, i can't breathe