cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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john shaft=jaydn ott
john shaft sr=coach aristotle thompson
john shaft jr=THE JET!!!!



ruh roh (**** florida state, shut ur mouth)#
Shocky1
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when r the university of calveston dance/cheer tryouts (and how come buc-ee gets to be on the selection committee, wut's his qualifications & gpa)???#
Shocky1
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beware the bears (and if the apex predators wanna FIGHT u better let them!!!)#

^ ignore justin's blah blah blah re: FIGHTING, listen to shocky/will mcdonald instead
Shocky1
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this is the BEST line up of interviews in the history of cal football, thank u kyle!!!

members of the assembled media, plz ask the following MONSTER questions:

burl toler iii: when the **** r u gonna start demanding that ur wideouts ******* start BLOCKING????

will mcdonald: is it true that in a FIGHT u could beat the wolverine with one ******* hand????

mason starling: r u older than joe biden or something, do u get the sr citizen discount at top dog????

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Shocky1
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baby update: in a particularly pathetic attempt to make me jealous, berkeley grad (4.0 gpa at newport harbor) allison stokke (who lived in phx while training for the olympics on 19th avenue back in the day) has had a 2nd child with my twin lookalike hopa/hopa brah rickie fowler

look allison, u could've had the exactly same looking kids (and probably way smarter!!) with me plus we could've done fam yoga together with 32 oz green juices afterwards with the doggy dogs, wut wuz u thinking???

fun fact: that's a really cut owie bandaid on the right leg!!
Shocky1
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2024 fall camp: practice #9

cal's monster offensive line update:

don't tell nobody but shocky & his FIGHTING wells fargo robberies wingman will mcdonald (currently starting at right guard with vati banged up) are gonna be joined in future off field EXTREME unsanctioned biz adventures by +1 athletic thrillseeker rush reimer (currently starting at left guard)...reminder note: we need to order more jim knowlton point break face masks

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yeah this **** is getting live in cali!!!



u only live once (when u LIVE on the edge, don't fall)#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:



coach toler, last year ur wideouts room wuz the WORST collegiate blocking room in the united states of america including ibiza, can u name even one memorable wr block last season??

burl, r u gonna finally hold ur guys accountable this fall & start developing ur guys for the ruthless nfl that demands alpha apex predator blocking?

no more coach speak (blah blah blah "guys will sit if they don't block" blah blah blah), let's see some actual violent aggression on gamedays this fall, ok?

at least mikey isn't afraid to take a blow to the body (or is it a flop?)...and tell tobias to defend his teammate, so tired of the bears wideouts just walking on by (without doing ****) in the downfield blocking game




the time is NOW (knock somebody on their ******* azz in the fall of 2024, do NOT walk on by)#


huge props to jim mcgill (the media can influence the internal/external narrative re: the cal football program) for initiating at the 2 minute 8 second mark a very interesting conversation with burl re: BLOCKING...the problem with last season's near non existent wide out BLOCKING with only monroe young a reliable bad azz physical warrior wuz that opponents scouted his presence out & put 8 defenders in the box knowing it wuz a run play

coach, shocky is a huge fan of u but u gotta keep ur word, "NO BLOCK, NO ROCK"

cal football is outta time (and we're all tired of blah blah blah coachspeak with no accountability)#
Shocky1
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2025 4.2 gpa running back with SPEED!!!!!!#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world
Shocky1
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shocky's annual scorpio skies b-day celebration (stormin' the field)#
Shocky1
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2024 wyndham championship: 2nd round update

the cut line at sedgefield country club (short classic design on hilly terrain with severely sloping back to front greens) is 4 under so last nite in near darkness at 4 under par michael kim opted to mark his ball on the back fringe of the brutal 503 yard par 4 18th instead of trying to putt out from 53 feet even tho his two playing partners opted to complete their rounds

why do this?

the greens are freshly mowed when play resumes at 6:45 am east coast time in north carolina & you can also practice an unlimited number of 53 foot downhill putts before heading out to the 18th green

so wut happened?

putting downhill on a glass top green kim left his 1st putt 9 feet short, talk about pressure with a must make icy downhill 9 footer to make the cut & play the weekend

and then michael drained the putt, let's ******* go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so now he gets to play the all important 3rd & 4th rounds, kim is currently 116th in the fed ex standings & the top 125 at season end get to keep their highly coveted/financially lucrative pga cards

current 2024 pga season earnings:

collin morikawa: $8,030,477
ben an: $5,424,103
max homa: $3,626,766
michael kim: $862,648

note: the above figures do not include lucrative sponsorships, for instance zurich insurance company pays collin $3,000,000 a year to serve as their brand ambassador
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:




so put ur lovin' hand out baby#

wake the **** up, hope u didn't play video games all nite or something, today is the 1st scrimmage of the 2024 fall camp

let's ******* go!!!!!!!!!!!!
wifeisafurd
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/C-flsEDRxxN
baby update: in a particularly pathetic attempt to make me jealous, berkeley grad (4.0 gpa at newport harbor) allison stokke (who lived in phx while training for the olympics on 19th avenue back in the day) has had a 2nd child with my twin lookalike hopa/hopa brah rickie fowler

look allison, u could've had the exactly same looking kids (and probably way smarter!!) with me plus we could've done fam yoga together with 32 oz green juices afterwards with the doggy dogs, wut wuz u thinking???

fun fact: that's a really cut owie bandaid on the right leg!!
At least Alison has Ricky training like a pro athlete. The body change meant improved performance over the last 18 months on the course and clearly in his private life with the two new tax credits.

As for look alike Shocky, I hear he is king of the yoga mat.
Shocky1
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wifey, rickie (oklahoma state) hates living with allison (berkeley) cuz she's always correcting his poor grammar & **** but agreed he's playing much better golf the last 18 months

but with that being said it's been conclusively proven in multiple international superior courts that don't got no extradition policy with ibiza by barristers brilliantly employing the doctrine of imminent domain that a yoga/meditation practice facilitates the necessary quick twitch +1 athletic skills (other than blocking) necessary for walking them doggy dogs further afar from planet earth

benji is such a gooooood boooooyyyyyyy (most of the time)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:




beware the bears (and if the apex predators wanna FIGHT u better let them!!!)#

^ ignore justin's blah blah blah re: FIGHTING, listen to shocky/will mcdonald instead

r u ******* serious???????????????#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C7w0FMSvZSa
^ one of our bears fans living in paradise (or next to mama's fish house) needs to attend a couple of local high school games & report back here with a 1st hand monster scouting report re: the tropical thunder big 3 of jaron, aidan & lebron

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Shocky1
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throwing dimes into narrow windows with touch & varying trajectories (such a catchable ball)#
Shocky1
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Catch moments like this in our new FREE cal's monster class tutorial series "How to lead an arena in stormin' the ******* floor!!!!!!!!"

Watch the video below now! Pinned to Shocky's broken down sorry dumb azz (and his shirt is fuchsia, maybe purple, NOT pink)! Shocky got no vertical jump & flaps his arms like a coked up seagull or something!

Shocky1
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Shocky1
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2024 fall camp: practice #10 (and scrimmage #1)

quarterback battle: chandler rogers threw for 3,382 yards with 29 touchdowns vs only 5 interceptions last season at north texas & today in memorial stadium he threw a td strike to the bears #1 receiver tobias merriweather on a busted coverage assignment & a near td to ben "where's shoneys?" marshall...fernando mendoza is looking solid too but gotta luv the extra mobility/escapability of chandler in this ongoing qb1 battle

nfl prospects watch: marcus harris got elite national football league SPEED, the successful recruitments of the 2 longtime amigos marcus & tobias merriweather is significantly changing the upward trajectory of the cal football program this fall as the bears head into acc battles, these guys are elite playmakers on the nfl radar

inside backers: all american prospect cade uluave & teddye buchanan are bonding on & off the field (why aren't their lockers directly next to each other?) and are the braintrust of wut will be a much more violent & explosive d in 2024...and zony hunter barth is gonna get a lotta critical snaps this season, the battle for the #4 depth inside backer is ongoing with alaska walk on aaron hampton slightly ahead of the pack which includes liam johnson who is injured

cal's monster offensive line: better than last season, light years improved over the angus no attention to detail era but we need to get poly bad azz sioape vatikani (boot on foot) healthy again at right guard...pairing vati with the unit's #1 standout trench worker right tackle tj session should give the bears the force of nature to impose their will on 3rd & 3 run calls which have mostly failed during the coach wilcox era of bad o-line play & abysmal non existent wide receiver blocking...right now the line is a ****show with multiple drive killing penalties & porous pass pro giving up 9 sacks today

defensive line: the bears are missing an injured ricky correia which is generating snaps with the 1s for the physically savvy warrior aidan keanaaina (4.0 gpa) next to the focused tj bollers (4.0 gpa) with the fearless stanley stole-mckenize always ready to roll...back up zurich ashford is injured

running back: true freshman texas bad azz jamaal wiley carried the load with 8 carries for 63 yards including a 31 yard touchdown...the other power back justin-williams thomas is injured

outside backers depth: coach so'oto got 2 violent potential all acc starters in david reese & xavier carlton (injured) but it's wide open in the 2s competition...ryan mcculloch is the 1st guy in off the bench, myles williams got experience & today both serigne tounkara & cheikhsaliou fall flashed at times

safety: the bears need potential nfl prospect craig woodson to get healthy & lead this unit...miles williams is winning the battle right now to be the other starter but the offseason infusion of crazy azz SPEED in ja'ir smith (injured), ryan yaites, cam sidney (5 tackles today) & isaiah "buc-ee jr" crosby is making this a ultra competitive room which will also materially impact the bears punt & kickoff coverage units

corners: the starters are marcus harris & nohl williams with nickel matthew littlejohn with the experienced lu magia hearns & collin gamble getting a lotta gameday snaps...SPEEDY transfer jasiah wagoner is injured

wideouts: potential starter mikey matthews & freshman phenom josiah martin are both injured, SPEEDY nyziah hunter caught a couple of downfield strikes in the vertical passing game

special teams: long snapper david bird is a future nfl 10+ year veteran if he avoid injuries, punter lachlan wilson gotta lotta confidence right now & kicker ryan coe got nfl leg strength but needs to continue to develop his accuracy...unreturnable kick offs is gonna be a welcome change & take pressure off the special teams gunners/kickoff coverage unit

injuries: negatively affecting the team's ability to field a opening game lineup at this time, jaylen brown has tole me that a major factor in his avoiding major injuries is the flexibility that his yoga practice affords him in absorbing violent physical contact...the staff has not made yoga part of the ineffectual injury plagued s&c regime which is not a particularly enlightened or innovative approach to avoiding injuries



82gradDLSdad
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Shocky1 said:


Catch moments like this in our new FREE cal's monster class tutorial series "How to lead an arena in stormin' the ******* floor!!!!!!!!"

Watch the video below now! Pinned to Shocky's broken down sorry dumb azz (and his shirt is fuchsia, maybe purple, NOT pink)! Shocky got no vertical jump & flaps his arms like a coked up seagull or something!




Smart man. You wear blue, you blend. You wear pink, all game people are like, ******. But in the mob you stand out. Cal grad thinking.
Shocky1
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^ blah blah blah

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clothes r for losers#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C2f7_WcSkBx
monster bottom line final thoughts on today's scrimmage #1:

with the caveat disclaimer that the staff held out the 1/2 nfl running back tandem of jaydn ott & kadarius calloway as a precautionary measure, the currently unsustainable number of INJURED key players & a dysfunctional sputtering offense foreshadows that the bears are NOT gonna survive this fall's opening gauntlet against miami, auburn & florida state

the bears gotta get HEALTHY which is gonna be challenging in this modern era during which professional sports organizations are hiring yoga instructors for their player's physical/mental health & safety...coach wilcox got no idea wut shocky is talking about...blah blah blah "football is a violent sport, next man up" blah blah blah coachspeak, so tired of that ****

the bears are outta time#
golden sloth
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/C2f7_WcSkBx
monster bottom line final thoughts on today's scrimmage #1:

with the caveat disclaimer that the staff held out the 1/2 nfl running back tandem of jaydn ott & kadarius calloway as a precautionary measure, the currently unsustainable number of INJURED key players & a dysfunctional sputtering offense foreshadows that the bears are NOT gonna survive this fall's opening gauntlet against miami, auburn & florida state

the bears gotta get HEALTHY which is gonna be challenging in this modern era during which professional sports organizations are hiring yoga instructors for their player's physical/mental health & safety...coach wilcox got no idea wut shocky is talking about...blah blah blah "football is a violent sport, next man up" blah blah blah coachspeak, so tired of that ****

the bears are outta time#


I heard of the d line injuries, what are the other position groups hit hard by the injury bug?
Shocky1
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^^^ slothy, read the above scrimmage report, a critical number of key players (not just the d-line) are INJURED
Econ141
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Agree with needing yoga/flexibility to prevent injuries. Don't worry shocky, it only takes Wilcox 4 years after fans realize what he is doing wrong to change.

Sticks to his bad offensive coordinator too long, drives out the wrong defensive coach (Deruyter), keeps having players get injured before the season ever starts and doesn't do anything to address this. That is a lot of injuries (again) to start the year. If we drop all of Auburn, Miami, Florida St - it will be a demoralized team and fan base.

We freaking need a miracle season.
Give to Cal Legends!

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82gradDLSdad
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Econ141 said:

Agree with needing yoga/flexibility to prevent injuries. Don't worry shocky, it only takes Wilcox 4 years after fans realize what he is doing wrong to change.

Sticks to his bad offensive coordinator too long, drives out the wrong defensive coach (Deruyter), keeps having players get injured before the season ever starts and doesn't do anything to address this. That is a lot of injuries (again) to start the year. If we drop all of Auburn, Miami, Florida St - it will be a demoralized team and fan base.

We freaking need a miracle season.


The more I read this thread the more excited I was getting. Boy, I thought, our roster is really a lot stronger. I kept thinking though, we still are led by Wilcox. Good guy, average to below average football coach. This hasn't changed. There is always hope.
bearsandgiants
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Hearing that our offensive line is a sieve in practice, and depleted by injuries AGAIN, when the guy running the line is also trying to run an offense, is not a good sign at all. We are LOADED with talent, but I fear we don't have a QB to get the ball to them, and they will quickly get mad that they aren't getting the ball enough.
Goobear
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People need to calm down Shocky does yoga, he doesn't squat 400lbsโ€ฆMy son never missed a game. He played hurt sometimes and no one knewโ€ฆ.Everyone take a breatherโ€ฆcan you imagine football players would adopt this mentality? Go Bears!
6956bear
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Goobear said:

People need to calm down Shocky does yoga, he doesn't squat 400lbsโ€ฆMy son never missed a game. He played hurt sometimes and no one knewโ€ฆ.Everyone take a breatherโ€ฆcan you imagine football players would adopt this mentality? Go Bears!
Agree. There area lot of training techniques that are utilized. But in the end you need some real tough, strong and nasty dudes along the OL. Will McDonald brings some nastiness that I really like.

Bloesch is a very good OL coach. He played the position and his groups have been very good over the years. Last years OL was significantly better then the previous season. It is an important group but sometimes injuries are unavoidable at that spot.

Just wondering how much yoga they do at Michigan, Georgia, Alabama, Ohio St or Texas? Not against incorporating different things in the offseason training but what are the winning programs doing?
82gradDLSdad
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Goobear said:

People need to calm down Shocky does yoga, he doesn't squat 400lbsโ€ฆMy son never missed a game. He played hurt sometimes and no one knewโ€ฆ.Everyone take a breatherโ€ฆcan you imagine football players would adopt this mentality? Go Bears!


I can't imagine playing football everyday and not getting hurt almost all the time. I would assume the coaches are being cautious during training camp and then during the season...well, you gotta play hurt sometimes. If we statistically have more guys miss games due to injury we either need to change training or change mentality or deal with the fact that maybe Cal puts a little more emphasis on student health versus winning football. Thankfully I don't make those decisions and so I don't question them.
Shocky1
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https://soundcloud.com/the-tribe-akashic/keep-me-company-feat-master-wendu-tae-haru

willem, let me explain this in very simple terms for you, squatting 400 lbs & other weightlifting metrics makes you a better football player

engaging in a modern yoga/meditation practice (50 stomach crunches from a handstand position) builds the necessary core strength with overall body flexibility/quick twitch reflexes that allow guys like me & my yoga buddy jaylen brown to avoid INJURIES & in jb's case fluidly absorb violent physical contact

there's a reason professional sports organizations worldwide are hiring yoga instructors for their player's physical/mental health & safety

got it??
82gradDLSdad
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82gradDLSdad said:

Goobear said:

People need to calm down Shocky does yoga, he doesn't squat 400lbsโ€ฆMy son never missed a game. He played hurt sometimes and no one knewโ€ฆ.Everyone take a breatherโ€ฆcan you imagine football players would adopt this mentality? Go Bears!


I can't imagine playing football everyday and not getting hurt almost all the time. I would assume the coaches are being cautious during training camp and then during the season...well, you gotta play hurt sometimes. If we statistically have more guys miss games due to injury we either need to change training or change mentality or deal with the fact that maybe Cal puts a little more emphasis on student health versus winning football. Thankfully I don't make those decisions and so I don't question them.


https://www.si.com/college/2020/10/07/usc-and-its-dying-linebackers?fbclid=IwY2xjawEnIJhleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHSCYqXp-WV8Lmnp9_6SacoN08I0RagvfD34caivQ2R0OUnptbY6m4YLJLA_aem_tleRJJ5-Af-fl4TXxJ4E2w

I stumbled across this on FB while reading Steve Jordan's FB page. I think I played high school golf against him when he went to Riordan but he is better known for kicking at USC. This is a sad article on the fate of USC linebackers of the 80s. Thought it was appropriate concerning the talk of playing injured in football.
Shocky1
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Shocky1
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san diego state qb1 update:

new aztecs head coach has narrowed down the finalists to 3 qbs, none of them are experienced

***true freshman danny o'neil started last saturday's fan fest scrimmage, 8-14 for 79 yards & 2 interceptions

***florida state transfer aj duffy then completed 7-12 for 144 yards & an interception

***redshirt freshman javanese tupo'ata-johnson from oakland wuz 5-9 for 82 yards & a touchdown

coach sirmon needs to unleash the violently attacking dogs of war with disguised blitzing packages on saturday september 14th at memorial stadium
Shocky1
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dumb & dumber (knowlton & markeisha) update:

a very savvy biz mind tole me today basically there's millions of potential sport tix buyers in the greater bay area/nor cal that have NEVER even considered buying a cal tix therefore the pricing is INELASTIC with respects to the cost of the tix for this potential market segment

the cal athletic department should therefore offer tens of thousands of FREE tixs for the 2024 football season (there will be 25,000+ EMPTY seats for the season opener vs uc davis at memorial stadium) to mostly non berkeley grad sports fans living within our market space & consider this an ACQUISITION COST to building the BRAND & selling future tixs

but the con artist & markeisha have opted instead to not offer FREE tixs to even all students (which is mind boggling marketing with severe future financial consequences) & instead just add thousands of additional TARPS...general knowlton tole an inquiring mind recently that he doesn't want to DILUTE the value of the cal football/basketball tix at a time when the cal season tix buyers/donors/builders of berkeley are rapidly aging out with a non existent replacement pipeline

bottom line, does chancellor lyons want his legacy to be the chancellor who lost berkeley's ranking as the #1 public university in the world??????

rich is running outta time (if he can't solve this PUZZLE)#

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