yeah shocky made jaivian smile/smirk during the postgame celebration on the 50 yard line on the field at memorial stadium after the EPIC stanford victory last month when the monster grabbed his shoulder pads & mock whispered "THE JET!!!! is a mamushi killah and a star star star star star star"...loser cal tv fans (often wearing their torn beer/doritos stained "I'm an incel!!" t-shirts while hobbling towards the FREE methadone shots clinic) will NEVER have those moments of pure joy/personal connection!!
THE JET!!!! must RUN with clean energy propulsion in the east bay (with smiling moms & the beautiful fam in the north endzone stands at memorial stadium on gamedays)#
fun fact: the smu fanbase is truly unique in its composition, at this year's game in the wealthy enclave of highland park there wuz a relatively small crowd (less than actually 30,000 fans) due to the program's alienation of the greater dallas/ft worth area with its snobby trust funder reputation while the 100 mega filthy rich oil & gas donors (who raised $100,000,000+ the week after smu got invited into the acc) sit quietly in their private smoke screened private luxury boxes sipping grey goose in a low energy stadium
but with that being said the smu mustangs (11-3) will be the bears toughest opponent in 2025 when they visit berkeley in the fall of our lives
yeah making beautiful flower arrangements is more important to them curvy brunette yoga smu females than football, weird but true...girl, u need a ponytail!!
just read the latest installment (2 minutes of my life that will never be gained back) of worthless already outdated (la bowl is already over, pal) with once again zero financial information/gameplan by the financially illiterate con artist...and predictably there is no mention of the november approval of the $59,000,000 new softball field which fundraised only $3,000,000+, the rest is just more debt for a department that is already financially upside down
chancellor lyons in the most recent california monthly interview correctly recognizes that alumni/donor engagement & student applications are directly correlated with a successful football program but rich also indicates that he thinks he got "2 or 3 years" before the impending financial tsunami smashes into berkeley which is not the case, it's already visible from the campanile
lyons thinks the university is gonna survive without any cost cutting measures (reclassifying teams to club status & dropping sports) right now despite the staggering disinterest in his 2 recent zoom "timeshare sales pitch" calls asking donors to drop tens of millions of dollars into the athletic department to cover their financial malpractice wasteful spending on sports that nobody seriously cares about, that **** is not happening
as the world turns in berkeley (rich, hope ur lifeboat got good life preservers, it's gonna be a tumultuous wave/ride!!)#
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the cold azz beautiful state of utah & arches national park)
ugonne foul watch: 1st foul a minute into the game on a hack to a shooter around the rim in the 1st quarter...2nd foul a minute into the 2nd quarter for pushing on the offensive end...3rd foul for body on body on an opposing post near the bucket...an obvious 4th foul for swinging elbows on a turnaround made jumper wuz not called by the refs but a defensive foul in the 4th quarter wuz called...the foul trouble kept michelle off the floor & fordham in the game but onyiah still scored 15 points with 6 boards in only 22 minutes
gabby: abigor plays with bouncy enthusiasm/+1 athleticism & demands the ball when she smells blood in the water against a smaller post, gabriella's upside is unlimited
turnover watch: 21 turnovers is gonna lose a lotta acc games, ionna with 6 tos & kayla with 5 tos wuz particularly undisciplined with their passing/ball handling
next game: the bears (12-1, ranked #24 in the nation) compete again tomorrow nite at 6:00 pm at haas pavilion against the winner of temple (5-4) vs xavier (4-6)...3 starters played 30+ minutes which no es bueno with respects to potential fatigue in 2 games within 24 hours
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD
Best Universities in the World, 2024:
1.🇬🇧 Oxford 2.🇺🇸 Stanford 3.🇺🇸 MIT 4.🇺🇸 Harvard 5.🇬🇧 Cambridge 6.🇺🇸 Princeton 7.🇺🇸 California Institute of Technology 8.🇬🇧 Imperial College London 9.🇺🇸 Berkeley 10.🇺🇸 Yale
welcome to berkeley & cal's monster offensive line georgia state transfer guard 6'4" 303 lbs lamar robinson from hayfield hs (award winning wrestler too) in alexandria virginia, his 1st year of college ball wuz at norfolk state where he started all 11 games at left tackle & he now got 1 year of remaining eligiiblity
‼️ RECRUITMENT OPEN‼️. True freshman starting LT! 6’4 , 315lbs 3 years of eligibility Guard/tackle ‼️Portal active‼️ pic.twitter.com/V4AfgdqAhA
lamar is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.5 gpa along with being on the dean's list at georgia state & turned down an actionable offer from stanford
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (and located in the most fabulous epicurean capital for diverse dining options along with nyc)
the university of calveston (golden gate bridge central campus)=world class academics competing in the acc (with smu an an annual protected rivalry game) without the lousy azz texas weather
charlie woods with the 175 yards 7 iron for an ace, his dad wuz in the port-a-potty & missed his son's shot
tiger has fundraised more dollars for educational opportunities for those from underserved communities than any other athlete in the history of planet earth!!...if u ask max homa & collin morikawa whose their hero they will tell u tw
https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
ugonne foul watch: early in the game the refs did not call a moving screen which cleared a path for kayla lay up but did call a late 1st quarter defensive slap on the arm of a shooter on a contested lay up at the bucket...onyiah exited the game & the cal lead went from 20-10 to 20-19...2nd foul in the 2nd quarter wuz for pushing for offensive post position in the paint...the bears outstanding 3rd quarter in pulling away wuz achieved with michelle on the floor applying the principal of verticality in defending & not getting her body into shooters, well done~~
turnovers watch: 20 turnovers is gonna limit the ability of this team to reach its full ncca potential...the complete elimination of the dumb azz cross court paths (high risk/low value) needs to be a point of emphasis by the staff during the winter break!!
anastasia: the 5'11" wing from greece started the 2nd half, she's a strong d presence with her waving arms length in disrupting passing lanes & also got a nice mid range shooting game...a strong basketball iq she seems to know where the ball is gonna bounce & is energetic on the court...can attack the basket/make defenses collapse creating 3 point pass outs & got a fundamentally sound shooting stroke...the bears need some bench offensive production so anastasia is 100% earning more minutes heading into acc battle
kayla: how does the shortest player on the floor share game high honors for rebounds with 7 boards??
lulu: the best smile & ponytail in college basketball can also shoot the **** outta the basketball (6 of 11 on 3 pointers), let it fly lulu, let it fly!!
jayda, gabby & natalia: they exude happiness in playing basketball like little kids with their friends on the playground with big smiles whether they're on the court or leading the epic celebrations on the bench!!
ionna: gets as many points in shocky's book in wildly waving her towel in support of the back ups particularly sofia bowes as she does for her caitlin clark bombs (20 points) from downtown san francisco!!
free throws: after the fordham game crooked azz shooting debacle, the bears cleaned that up tonite with 7 of 9 from the charity stripe
next games: **** is gonna get real as the #24 ranked bears (13-1) head into acc battle with a clemson & smu geographically weird roadtrip in early january with hopefully a 100% healthy marta suarez...r the bears all grown up & ready for the acc adventure???
cal's monster offensive line (gonna blend the development of high school all staters into multiple year starters & immediate impact transfer portal trench workers)#
a major factor in the 13-1 record heading into the winter break is the stifling bears defense particularly the recent utilization of the 1-3-1 zone, watch the above waving hands/quick twitch lateral movement of the amoeba d which is kinda like a variation of the jim boheim syracuse d back in the day
the 1-3-1 also pulls michelle onyiah away from opposing posts (where she often gets whistled up by the refs for physical body to body contact) where she can use her length & quickness to deny passing lanes but more importantly it helps keep ugonne outta FOUL TROUBLE which is the #1 factor in this team winning basketball games!!
is there a correlation between the national rankings & team field goal defense??
team defense is FUN to watch (shocky hasn't watched more than 5 minutes of any game on tv of the men's team this season, they play near non existent d) & this year's coach charmin smith's relentless high motor d kinda reminds me of the cal's monster class era when coach cuonzo martin's team knocked the **** outta teams on the defensive end which set up our multiple epic STORMING THE FLOOR celebrations (yeah the monster wuz always the 1st person to the center of the universe, midcourt at a sold out haas pavilion)!!
shocky & barney luv to rock the fashionista purple (with seagull flapping t-rex arms & a 6" vertical jump)#
with the commitment of safety fresno state's julian neal to stanford, the most FUN defensive back coaches in the nation coach brown & coach watson are now focused on targeting washington safety transfer 6'4" 191 lbs tristan dunn from drizzly azz sumner washington, he got 2 years of remaining eligibility
tristan is NOT a dumb azz, despite a barely 3.0 gpa in hs due to not taking reading books & **** seriously, he's now all grown up (mentally limitless with ambition) & been an all pac 12 academic honoree
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including puget sound & unhealthy/overpriced starbucks)
throwing away a cal, stanford or ivy league degree away for a freezing azz wyoming degree probably isn't the smartest building GENERATIONAL WEALTH (or avoiding hypothermia) strategy but good luck to brooklyn in laramie (hopefully cheek will get to do the hang with shocky's favorite game warden joe pickett in shoestring!!)
2025 scholly roster departures: 29 departures at this moment
nohl williams, safety...out of eligibility craig woodson, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree miles williams, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree teddeye buchanan, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...uc davis degree xavier carlton, outside linebacker...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree liam johnson, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...princeton degree david reese, outside linebacker...out of eligibility...florida degree lachlan wilson, punter...out of eligibility...tulsa degree ricky correia, defensive lineman...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree tj session, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree rush reimer, offensive guard...out of eligibility...montana state degree will mcdonald, center...out of eligiblity...coastal carolina degree victor stoffel, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...temple degree chandler rogers, quarterback...out of eligibility...louisiana monroe degree corey dyches, tight end...out of eligibility...maryland degree matthew littlejohn, nickel...out of eligibility lu magia hearns, corner...out of eligibility marcus harris, corner...out of eligibility...idaho degree ryan coe, kicker...out of eligiblity kadarius calloway, running back...out of eligibility matthew wykoff, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to houston...berkeley degree jt byrne, tight end...grad transfer portal to georgia tech...berkeley degree nate rutchena, tight end...grad transfer portal...berkeley degree brooklyn cheek, defensive back...transfer portal to wyoming...no berkeley degree bobby engstler, punter...transfer portal...no berkeley degree nyziah hunter, wide receiver...transfer portal to nebraska...no berkeley degree fernando "caca" mendoza, quarterback...transfer portal...no berkeley degree david bird, long snapper...transfer portal to alabama...no berkeley degree josiah martin, wide receiver...transfer portal...no berkeley degree
2024 scholly roster departures: 43 bears moving on
matthew cindric, center...out of eligibility...berkeley haas biz school & masters education...new york jets barrett miller, tackle...out of eligibility...stanford engineering degree & berkeley cert program isaiah ifanse, running back...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program monroe young, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley degree brian hightower, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program darius long jr, defensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree jackson sirmon, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...new york jets patrick mcmorris, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...nfl drafted miami dolphins raymond woodie iii, safety...grad transfer portal to bethune cookman...berkeley degree ben finley, quarterback...grad transfer portal to akron...berkeley cert program tyson mcwilliams, cornerback...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree brayden rohme, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to massachusetts...berkeley degree kaleb elarms-orr, inside linebacker...transfer portal to tcu...no berkeley degree everett johnson, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to montana...berkeley degree blake antzoulatos, inside linebacker...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree king doerue, running back...football retirement...purdue degree jeremiah earby, cornerback...transfer portal to boise state...no berkeley degree sam jackson v, quarterback...transfer portal to auburn...no berkeley degree taj davis, wide receiver...football retirement...washington degree michael luckhurst, kicker...football retirement (cal soccer program)...pursuing berkeley degree muelu iosefa, inside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree moso'oipala "nunie" tuitele, te/olb...transfer portal to new mexico..no berkeley degree jeremiah hunter, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to washington...berkeley degree asher alberding, tight end...football retirement...berkeley haas global access program dejuan butler, defensive back...grad transfer portal to sacramento state...berkeley degree sailasa "sai" vadrawale, defensive back...transfer portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree andy alfieri, fullback/linebacker...grad transfer portal to oregon state..berkeley degree brian driscoll, offensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree brett johnson, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree jaedon roberts, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree mason mangum, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to texas a&m (track)...berkeley degree isaiah young, defensive back...football retirement...berkeley degree myles jernigan, linebacker...grad transfer portal to louisville...berkeley degree ender aguilar, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to tulsa...berkeley degree marquis montgomery, wide receiver...transfer portal to byu...no berkeley degree martin tine, offensive lineman...transfer portal to texas state...no berkeley degree kaylin moore, defensive back...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree tiumalu afalava, defensive lineman...transfer portal to san diego state...no berkeley degree marquez dortch, wide receiver...transfer portal to troy...no berkeley degree sergio allen, linebacker...football retirement...berkeley degree leremia leremia, defensive end...football retirement...no berkeley degree tidiane jalloh, outside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree ethan saunders, defensive end...football retirement...berkeley degree
note: kicker mateen bhaghani (ucla) not listed cuz he never had a scholly
2023 scholly roster departures: 36 bears moved on
daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree...nfl drafted indianapolis colts odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity...ucla degree jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity...berkeley degree darius long jr, defensive line...walk on final semester...berkeley degree kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona & bethune cookman...berkeley degree patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii...no berkeley degree henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement...berkeley degree femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree trey paster, linebacker...grad transfer to colorado state & bethune cookman...berkeley degree fatu iosefa, safety...portal to san mateo community college...no berkeley degree kaleb higgins, corner back...portal to sacramento state...no berkeley degree ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas & nevada...asu degree ryan lange, guard...football retirement...pursuing berkeley degree jackson brown, tackle..portal to pitt...no berkeley degree jake muller, tight end...football retirement...berkeley degree elijah mojarro, tight end...grad transfer to nevada & rice...berkeley degree nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada & washington...no berkeley degree jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree j michael sturdivant, wide receiver...portal to ucla & florida...no berkeley degree justin richard baker, wide receiver...medical retirement...berkeley degree tommy christakos, wide receiver...medical retirement...berkeley degree aidan lee, wide receiver...portal to garden city cc, minot state & bluefield state...no berkeley degree ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree chris street, running back...portal to utah tech...no berkeley degree damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state & lamar...no berkeley degree decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville...purdue degree...carolina panthers kai milner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
Your caddie the Snowman just texted me and told me you missed 11 greens today with everything from a 6 iron thru a couple of wedges and that he's exhausted from raking all the bunkers!!
But that's exactly the kinda crooked azz shooting that I'm looking for in my 2025 kicker, not looking for a boring azz reliable ball striker like Mateen Bhaghani or Collin Morikawa. Don't you think it's more FUN to have wildly erratic placekicking and then watch Coach Wilcox almost stroke out during postgame press conferences?
With that & your 3.92 Berkeley GPA in mind Shocky I am hereby extending an actionable scholly offer to you to become my 2025 kicker or punter (your choice) at the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD, just give me a couple of days to run off the current guys, ok?
