https://instagr.am/p/DNjhUj0Sp1_
new mexico lobos 23
san diego state aztecs 17

sdsu (9-3) should've bought the inclusive all day fam package (which includes kiddo barf bags)

Headed to Cal to watch bro play @JaronKeawe and experience the Caloha movement 🤙🏽. @AllenBrown_4 @CoachTB02 @Coach_Sooto @NickRolovich @BrandonHuffman @BlairAngulo @GregBiggins @morisuesue @hellstarsports @coach_lafaele pic.twitter.com/ScRoBRBHGl

— Isaiah Kealoha Chong 3⭐️ 2027 DB (@isaiah_chong) November 28, 2025

2027 cal football recruiting update:

3.83 gpa isaiah kealoha chong & recent cal decommit/potential recommit 3.6 gpa broncs baker will be key 2027 recruiting priorities for coach lupoi & the staff

💯 absolutely CAL is still one of my top schools, I’ll be visiting them again in January. https://t.co/qgk3Ri72iC

— BRONCS BAKER🥷4⭐️LB (@BroncsBaker) November 28, 2025

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/CcGZW-0pwes
Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

As a former ELITE worldwide fashion model with multiple online degrees, I am very proud to let you know that I'm the new Chancellor at SMU!!!!!! It's true, I interview really well!!

I really think your writing is very witty ("don't be a dumb azz, it's better to palm a tight azz") plus we both love doggy dogs, would you be willing to accept an Adjunk Professorship of Literature in addition to starting up our new Yoga/Meditation Master's Program? Realize that you're not credentialed yet as a substitute yoga teacher at Modern Yoga but we can do a workaround on that minor issue.

Look, I realize you can play literally any golf course on Planet Earth with one phone call/email but would it help your decision making if I can arrange a FREE membership at Brook Hollow which has been faithfully restored by your favorite architects Coore & Crenshaw?

Shocky, working together we can make SMU GREAT AGAIN and in any case I'm looking forward to meeting you at your pregame FREE buffet at Buc-ee's on Saturday November 30th, is this a clothing optional event or not??

I will even confidentially whisper in your ear my GPA!!

Respectfully yours,

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

P.S. > Agreed that clothes r for losers!!!

---

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine!!

Getting my nails done this morning at the Reverse Cowgirl Nail Saloon in Highland Park & thought you might be interested in my list of the TOP 3 people on planet earth that I would like to take a naked azz shower with in the very near future!!

1) Shocky, no big surprise there!!


^ editor's note: shocky goes to the lunch box every month for grooming, he never in real life got nasty azz hair on his belly or really anywhere like he does in this foto

2) Rickie Fowler, he don't gotta lotta STDs like DeChambo!!

3) George Bush, we need funding for a new Poli Sci building on campus.

See you Saturday morning at Buc-ee's, should I wear any underwear or NOT??

Hugs & kisses,

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

---

---

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am mad at you!!

Wut the **** is Becky G doing at Buc-ee's??

DALLAS! y’all showed us so much loveee 💖 Gracias Ivan Cornejo for having me, let’s do it again sometime ☺️✨ pic.twitter.com/vdN7U59FwX

— Becky G (@iambeckyg) May 20, 2025

I may NOT be flying out after all for the Ponys game in Berkeley on Saturday November 29th (and if I do I'm probably going to hook up with Jacob de Jesus or Rino Monteforte after the game, which ever one of them isn't busy with postgame interviews), got it??

Don't even bother to ever call me again unless ur DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cordially,

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

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Looking forward to welcoming Cal fans to Texas! Remember, please keep protesting to a minimum, our oil keeps the country going! pic.twitter.com/Lgo2muJp4f

— The Deep Ellum🐎 (@3rdDownDracula) November 27, 2024

Dear Shocky,

How are you??

I'm tired of your prevalent discriminatory attitudes against Blondes, are you really too ******* stupid to understand that I'm only 2 appointments away at Zolton's from becoming a curvy brunette yoga female??

You wish you had played your cards right with me and taken my offer of an Adjunk Professorship!!

You ****ing smelly Berkeley Hippie!!

****ing AZZhole!!

Not your friend,

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

The way SMU fans talk about Sonny Dykespic.twitter.com/8QxnzlXzID https://t.co/qsPthfMqNG

— SuperFrog’s Burner (@SuperFrogBurner) September 15, 2025

bluehenbear said:

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Tavita Pritchard new HC for furd

If Tosh is gonna be the guy, will we have to wait until Oregon's season is over to announce?

---

smart & not surprising hire by stanford grad luck to hire another stanford grad pritchard

they understand the academic high gpa recruiting complexities/challenges at world class ELITE universities

and this will happen in berkeley too with berkeley grad lyons empowering berkeley grad rivera to hire berkeley grad lupoi to become the next head coach

uninformed cal tv "fans" (the ones who pontificate with zero actual knowledge of the inner workings of the program) like to throw out names of coaches that got rosters comprised of 2.5 gpa ballers, that **** is NEVER gonna work in berkeley

it's gonna take berkeley grads to save cal athletics

no cap

FACTS#

https://instagr.am/p/ByrKXO9n4hN
tosh lupoi update:

tosh flew private (net jets) tuesday nite from eugene arriving in oakland at 7:00 pm to meet with ron

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐨𝐰𝐥 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

Congratulations to @HezekiahMasses on being invited to the Senior Bowl 👏#SmartAndTough #GoBears pic.twitter.com/HNNgsBQkVQ

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) November 29, 2025

THE TAKERS (violently tackle to get PAID in the national football league)#



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com

Congratulations, Zeke! Well deserved!

https://instagr.am/p/DRn_QShFK9Q
real talk: none of these guys would be sharky's 1st choice of person to carry off the field at memorial stadium

https://instagr.am/p/DL2_ke7RTIl
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including europe, right callixte??)

https://instagr.am/p/DOAWwKtjXjB
louisville cardinals 41
kentucky wildcats 0

a really talented louisville (8-4) trailer park stomped their bitter sec rivals kentucky in the battle of low gpas, bourbon, secretariat & dead elvis

https://instagr.am/p/DRhmKkcjQE4
boston college eagles 34
syracuse orange 12

wowza, bc (2-10) fenway parked by a couple of touchdowns syracuse (3-9) in the cellar dweller eastcoatie acc rivalry game at the jma wireless dome

orange defensive end/former california golden bear david reese finished his 14th year of college eligibility with 28 tackles & 2.5 sacks, he's too undersized to got any nfl free agency upside

the bear roadie to syracuse (65 yards of passing today, got major qb1 issues unless they find a major upgrade in the january transfer portal window) is right now the most winnable road game on the 2026 schedule

yeah my daughter taylor already is planning our weeklong trip starting at her home in the west village in nyc, then to the hamptons for dad's golf thingie & the hudson valley for air ballooning/spa days or something before the saturday gameday in upstate new york

fun fact: tay is not sure if nyu is in the acc or not!!

https://instagr.am/p/DPRyppSCcM2
shocky luvs the acc (the most FUN conference on planet earth)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DRqNHoEEtJS
minnesota gophers 17
wisconsin badgers 7

in level 7 hypothermia somewhere in the freezing azz midwest minnesota (7-5) won the snowstorm/snowball fight despite both teams mascots losing a couple limbs or something to frostbite, don't let the uninformed dumb as **** always negative expired cal tv "fans" fool u, the bears had a couple of outstanding WINS during 2025!!

https://instagr.am/p/DIv-W_Ctm0g
duke blue devils 49
wake forest demon deacons 32

duke (7-5) called a timeout with 29 seconds remaining to roll up the score with another touchdown, there must be some bad blood in north carolina

wake forest (a surprising 8-4) will be traveling to berkeley next fall but the deacs will be without rb1 demond claiborne, qb1 robby ashford & most critically dance/cheer coach1 christy!!

https://instagr.am/p/Ct23wEUO_Ib
heavy is the head that wears the crown (right tosh??)#

#Sooners Jaydn Ott not recognized for Senior Day.

— Davis Cordova (@byDavisCordova) November 29, 2025

not redshirting (played in 6 games this season)#

Shocky1 said:

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#Sooners Jaydn Ott not recognized for Senior Day.

— Davis Cordova (@byDavisCordova) November 29, 2025

not redshirting (played in 6 games this season)#

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Money well spent by Oklahoma. That's what they get for illegally recruiting Ott. Maybe the girl recruiting him can walk him for Senior day. Nothing against Ott, but he really **** the bed leaving Cal.

https://instagr.am/p/DRqoO9-kfqY
https://instagr.am/p/DEs7EHmuFIS


THE CATCH (at the end of one of the most beautiful summers of our lives)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DRqke3VEQ7P
cal-poly berkeley=the 9th island=the #1 ranked yoga/meditation school on planet earth

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DRkbzD4jrgQ
cal KEYS to victory vs smu:

pony's qb1 kevin jennings is the most explosive (both with his arm & his legs) quarterback the bears will face in the 2025 season, he is slight of build like a feral doggy dog (kinda like shocky) & when he gets violently hit (with clean non penalty smash mouth tackling) gets banged up & doesn't run after that...knocking the **** outta kj in the 1st q is gonna be critical to making the smu offense more one dimensional (and containable)

kj is high octane premium 91 gunslinger that isn't afraid to throw the ball into tight windows, tomorrow there will be multiple passes that will be up for grabs...in the 2nd half of this season the bears defensive backs & linebackers have squandered those critical momentum shifting opportunities by knocking down those game changing interceptions, where the **** are the TAKERS??

field goals are NOT gonna win this game, the failed wilcox strategy of tryna win every game 14-13 isn't gonna work, rolo gotta go for it on every 4th and under 2 yards on the smu side of the field (which will require those situational scripted plays well rehearsed in advance)...it's gonna take 30+ points to upset the nationally ranked petroleum club & not tryna win the battle of field position

coach harsin gotta dial up his most crazy azz playcalling, this is basically his audition for his next gig whether it be at cal or another program...gotta gameplan that jacob de jesus is gonna be doubled/blanketed (the belichick d strategy of taking away the other team's strength) so pound the ball with heavy jumbo run packages, if playmaker quaron adams touches the ball at least 5+ times in space against man coverage the bears will have a chance for the upset

roll the ******* dice (ur playing with house money brahs)!!#

---

https://instagr.am/p/DRqyBumCONi
california golden bears 38
smu mustangs 35

KAAAAAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

analysis of the monster KEYS to victory:

1) the pony's qb1 kevin jennings got pressure during the 1st series which resulted in him losing his footing twice & set the tone for the entire game...there wuz more corner blitzes tonite than the total of all cb/nickel edge blitzes this season which hurried up smu's passing attack & also resulted in several run play tackles behind the line of scrimmage...co d coordinators terrence brown & vic so'oto dialed up the ******* not so aloha heat!!

2) when the tipped ball floated in the memorial stadium air space tonite true freshman safety aidan manutai made the game changing interception & would've taken it to the house except for the accidental collision with all american teammate (playing with a cast on his arm & returning to battle even after reinjuring it in the 4th quarter) cade uluave

https://instagr.am/p/DRqc9KqiKJK
3) coach bryan harsin dialed up 38 points tonite!!

4) the bears heavy jumbo run package included frederick williams, akili calhoun & true freshman john tofi as tight ends or basically 6th offensive linemen

kendrick raphael pounded the ball 33 times for 116 yards (and kudos to his rb coach julian griffin of whom the monster has been very critical of this season)

https://instagr.am/p/DRqvVfKjuh8
and yeah my fellow zony non nba guy quaron adams touched the ball enuf with 5 catches for 65 yards

https://instagr.am/p/DRqosr8lNBe
symbolism: coach nick rolovich (honorary berkeley grad based upon his ucb extension coursework at our hawaii campus & offbeat sense of humour) wearing a lei tells the whole damn world that the welcoming aloha spirit of inclusiveness is alive and well in berkeley california...when a staffer tried to take it off him after the blue gatorade dump rolo insisted that it stay on his neck as he crossed the field to shake hands with lashlee which honestly as a hopa/hopa (half and half) poly wuz a ******* emotional moment for me because like coach famika anae, we both ******* care, we really ******* care!!

#GOBEARS ALWAYS!!!! 🐻 pic.twitter.com/T2jD2YUQAB

— Marshall Cherrington (@MWCherrington) November 30, 2025

dang, berkeley got ranked higher than HARVARD in the latest forbes magazine rankings of the greatest universities in the solar system & the bears defeated arguably the best team in the acc tonite in a victory for the ages!!



woof, woof, woof, i cry (working on a project called u)#

https://instagr.am/p/CjgxPu2uJNI
real talk: the bears do NOT win tonite without the team's most underrated player 4.0 gpa aidan keenaaina, he is the consummate team player & just a very special human being which typifies the kinda high character individuals involved with the cal football program!!

https://instagr.am/p/C9u4mDMPQa7

Cal QB Jaron-Keawe Sagapolutele vs SMU:

🐻 31/40
🐻 330 YDS
🐻 4 TDS
🐻 0 INTS@CalFootball pic.twitter.com/ExIWixHSZY

— PFF College (@PFF_College) November 30, 2025

question of the day: do u got FAITH in jaron keawe sagapolutele & the future of the cal football program??

California will always be the (honorary) 9th island. 🤙🏽 pic.twitter.com/JXUMbQVT1m

— Hood (@HoodxBear) November 2, 2025

https://instagr.am/p/DKibna_ymmC
washington state cougars 32
oregon state beavers 8

"2-10"

mic drop#

There was Magic in Memorial tonight!!!

^ great foto jb of the center of the universe after the battle at the barricade!!


^ marius is a dumb azz & picked the wrong girl

"we had a dream of dreams"#

https://instagr.am/p/Ct2i8kCOdtF
florida gators 40
florida state "no vote on cal" seminoles 21

fsu (5-7, no bowl game) gotta kinda complicated admissions calculation, ur gpa needs to be higher than ur # of stds plus ur # of baby mamas minus 3, got it??

https://instagr.am/p/C3Ldz-LPmSp
north carolina state wolfpack 42
north carolina "no vote on cal" tar heels 19

billy bellybump's team (4-8, no bowl game) is probably the best collegiate fb team in chapel hill north carolina, good luck when they get invited with florida state to join the talladega intercoastal tributary conference (titc) in 2027!!

the wolfpack (7-5) will be hosting them cali bears from the left coast next fall at carter-finley stadium in raleigh (plz let me know if u wanna walk pinehurst #2 & coore & crenshaw's dorm club that friday with schulzie & slim wadie) with talented qb1 cj bailey & rb1 hollywood smothers

JB was a Chieftain said:

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There was Magic in Memorial tonight!!!

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Indeed… after the ponies took the lead late, I got that "oh no, here we go again" feeling in my stomach.

But somehow, this game felt different. Somehow, I was imagining that we were going to march down the field and punch it in for a magical victory, and sure enough that's what ended up happening.

It showed that the team had not quit, and they wanted to win this game for not only Rolo, but for Wilcox as well.

Great team win all around! I'm happy that the team was able to rebound from last week's disappointing loss and end the regular season on a high note. Go Bears…!

Dear ACC Nation,

The Bears accepts and extends alliances for this year for all those that accepted us in and whom we don’t share the field with. The Bear gets stronger by day and our alliances will be monitored closely. For the rest, we will never forget. Expect us.
- Cal Nation https://t.co/02gPBJueRx

— Hood (@HoodxBear) September 17, 2024

virginia cavaliers 27
virginia tech hokies 7

congrats to the cavs (10-2) on the special season, the bears will be hosting the james franklin coached with rb1 messiah mickens hokies (3-9) next fall at memorial stadium, do u got ur season tix(s) or r u an expired cal tv "fan"??

force, great post in that u succinctly capture the collective cal faithful vibe that we wuz gonna win the ******* game (it just felt different this time, no holding our breaths)!!

the heart understands things that the mind cannot begin to comprehend

https://instagr.am/p/DRdaM5Gj4Bz
notre dame fighting irish 49
stanford cardinals 20

oouch (4-8)#

THE EXCLAMATION POINT FROM KING MILLER.

📺 NBC

pic.twitter.com/y35rn3aulo

— USC Football ✌️ (@uscfb) November 30, 2025

usc trojans 29
ucla bruins 10

congrats to ucla (3-9) achieving its stretch goal of 9 losses in 2025 & with the departures of virtually the entire 2 deep of both the offensive & defensive lines plus a ****** bag qb1 the bruins are well positioned for 10+ losses in 2026 on saturday september 5, 2026 which is gonna be a SELL OUT for the last time evah that ucla visits memorial stadium!!

very interesting fact (not sure wut to make of it): jaivian "the jet" thomas from oakland did not play in ucla's last 2 games for "undisclosed" reasons...hmmmmmmmmm (of course it might be for something as simple as current qb1 nico farts a lot in the huddle or something)

yeah it's the most wonderful time of the year for our friends (checks don't bounce) in westworld!!

Official Peanuts It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Years Ucla Bruins T-shirt
Buy Shirt Now: https://t.co/wW91S3VtZp pic.twitter.com/8thJ6P6Fmq

— Clothing Legendusashirt (@CLegendusashirt) August 21, 2025

10 clap in 2026!!#

Shocky1 said:

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force, great post in that u succinctly capture the collective cal faithful vibe that we wuz gonna win the ******* game (it just felt different this time, no holding our breaths)!!

the heart understands things that the mind cannot begin to comprehend

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Only disappointing thing about today's game was that there were not more fans in the stands to witness the magical victory.

It was kind of sad to see more band members than students in the student section. Come on guys… we can do better! Hopefully attendance will increase for next year as momentum builds…

agreed force re: ur student attendance commentary, hopefully both rivera & lyons (who also needs to fire the current co athletic director ****tards jay & jenny and NOT let them hire the next MARKETING DIRECTOR) learned from their strategic failure/non innovative decision to NOT inclusively offer all berkeley students FREE tixs to all football & men's basketball games

the truth of the matter is that this season facilitated the healthy/inevitable weeding out of the expired cal tv "fans" that are stuck in their dying days on their urine stained sofas (they are never gonna attend games at memorial stadium), the bears fb fanbase needs to be further built with students & younger fans particularly those without any berkeley affiliations

the good news is that the roadies this season to boston, san diego & palo alto included a lotta under 30 years of fans in very large numbers, fully expect that with proper marketing of heisman faith based jks from ewa beach that the ucla rivalry game on september 5, 2026 will be SOLD OUT!!

Cal fans are huddled around QB Jaron-Keawe Sagapolutele after the win over No. 21 SMU.

The true freshman from Ewa Beach, Hawaii, threw for 330 yards and four TDs in Berkeley to end his stellar rookie regular season. pic.twitter.com/I0Bw6vPxO0

— Joaquin Ruiz (@WalkingRuiz) November 30, 2025

BEDLAM IN BERKELEY (will be the norm in 2026)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DP42CSNkrng
the following 20 true student athletes participated in the pregame senior walking ceremony, plz note that there are ncca eligibility appeals pending specifically for those from junior colleges

brent austin
tj bollers
nate burrell
belay brummell
mayze bryant
akili calhoun
jacob de jesus
trond grizzell
brook honore jr
jeffrey johnson
aidan keanaaina
michael luckhurst
hezekiah masses
chase meyer
dru polidore jr
ja'ir smith
zae smith
jordan spasojevic-moko
bastian swinney
chris victor

The Cal fans crashed the interview after the big win over No. 21 SMU 😅 pic.twitter.com/SbkmTe2GtN

— ESPN (@espn) November 30, 2025

jaron, this is real life (NOT anime)#

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DP42CSNkrng
the following 20 true student athletes participated in the pregame senior walking ceremony, plz note that there are ncca eligibility appeals pending specifically for those from junior colleges

brent austin
tj bollers
nate burrell
belay brummell
mayze bryant
akili calhoun
jacob de jesus
trond grizzell
brook honore jr
jeffrey johnson
aidan keanaaina
michael luckhurst
hezekiah masses
chase meyer
dru polidore jr
ja'ir smith
zae smith
jordan spasojevic-moko
bastian swinney
chris victor

---

Thought Nate Burrell was supposed to be back next year?

bassics, ur correct, nate played 38 games his first 3 years in berkeley & wuz projected to be an impact starter on the interior of the d-line before getting injured last spring & blue shirting this season...burrell got the option of returning to the program with 1 year of remaining eligibility

Celebrating our seniors tonight 🐻#SmartAndTough #GoBears pic.twitter.com/B5tImTXOct

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) November 30, 2025