cal's monster offensive line

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calumnus
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2:46p, 12/5/25
Shocky who are you endorsing for OC: Rolovich, Gruden or….?
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Shocky1
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3:07p, 12/5/25
https://instagr.am/p/C1iE5XJPfsb
shocky's OFFICIAL staff construction endorsements:

head coach: tosh lupoi

associate head coach/qb coach: nick "rolo" rolovich

offensive coordinator: jon gruden

offensive line coach: famika anae

tight ends coach: mike saffell (future head coach in waiting)

running back coach: burl toler (if he can bring jaivian "the jet" thomas home), otherwise nfl coach

wide receivers coach: nfl coach

special teams coach: byron storer

defensive staff: not prepared to make any staff recommendations at this moment but it's critical that terrence brown be retained at all costs while also keeping vic so'oto in the backer room

s&c program: jason novak & his transformative team members

recruiting team: marshall cherrington, benji palu & staff

marketing/videography: valerie grimaldo

chief of staff: andrew mcgraw (until such time that he's appointed athletic director after the terminations of the current ****tard co athletic directors jay larson & jennifer simon-o'neil that have FAILED under every quantifiable metrics of accountability other than "helping" ron finalize tosh's contract thru the uc bureaucracy, big ******* deal)
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PAC-10-BEAR
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In reply to Shocky1 • 3:08p, 12/5/25
Gruden!
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Shocky1
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4:11p, 12/5/25
ron, when you throw out gratuitous thanks to jay & jenny (who are not berkeley grads) for helping you fill out last nite the uc bureaucracy employment paperwork (which resulted in virtually no clapping, very awkward) please keep in mind that your 100% DISRESPECTING the suicidal berkeley women's swimmers and their families who had to endure the EVIL AS **** JENNIFER SIMON-O'NEIL enabling the criminal teri mckeever ABUSE for decades

that's kinda like giving out a shout out to michael vick at a animal rescue facility black tie fundraiser telling everybody he wuz a great nfl qb1

and why didn't you mention that earlier this year they tried to cut the football nutrition program budget & also self reported to the ncca several minor recruiting infractions by the football staff??

and are you cognizant (or even care) that if jay & jenny are allowed by rich to hire the next marketing director (they were the folks behind the arrogant & unqualified markeisha) then basically that will be a DEATH SENTENCE for the men's & women's basketball programs which are attracting scarce crowds pathetic even by sonoma state standards??...you more than anybody should know that revenue sports without attendance/revenues will be downgraded beyond recognition in today's rapidly changing college athletics landscape

honestly, stephanie must be embarzzed by some of the **** you say sometimes

https://instagr.am/p/DR5G9_Hgav1
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calumnus
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:33p, 12/5/25
Shocky1 said:
ron, when you throw out gratuitous thanks to jay & jenny (who are not berkeley grads) for helping you fill out last nite the uc bureaucracy employment paperwork (which resulted in virtually no clapping, very awkward) please keep in mind that your 100% DISRESPECTING the suicidal berkeley women's swimmers and their families who had to endure the EVIL AS **** JENNIFER SIMON-O'NEIL enabling the criminal teri mckeever ABUSE for decades

that's kinda like giving out a shout out to michael vick at a animal rescue facility black tie fundraiser telling everybody he wuz a great nfl qb1

honestly, stephanie must be embarzzed by some of the **** you say sometimes

https://instagr.am/p/DR5G9_Hgav1

I do get the feeling that Ron has been busy with NFL jobs most of the last 42 years or so and is not well informed about what has been going on at Cal.
Cal bureaucracy likes to sweep stuff under the rug and Ron isn't looking under the rug.

Tosh was definitely the best speaker today.
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:27p, 12/5/25
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

sure swan more than happy to provide some context re: shocky's ginormous fliparoo on tosh, jeff tedford tole me he FORGIVES lupoi for his secretive circling back to shaq's house after their in home visit & that tosh is a remarkably passionate/competitive football coach with a massive upside that PLAYS TO WIN!!

tosh, just make sure u express a sincere apology at sunday's press conference, ok??

dang, if jt is good with tosh so is schulzie too!!...and let's be real here, nobody gives 2 ***** wut the expired cal tv "fans" think about anything!!



woof, woof, woof, i cry (working on a project, it's called u!!)#

jt is on board with tosh as the bears next head coach

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Shocky1
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9:02p, 12/5/25
https://instagr.am/p/DR3cdGiERNm
boise state broncos 38
unlv rebels 21

the bears are gonna travel to sin city next season on saturday october 3rd to play them unlv rebels (10-3) at the raiders 65,000+ capacity allegiant stadium, maybe gruden will introduce the tight end room to the raiderettes or something??

anyways defensively the rebels d gave up 30 points for the 6th time this season & several of the dbs tackle kinda like zeke at the deerfield beach tuesday nite coed flag football league...jaron is gonna have an opportunity to light them up but the real key will be for cal's monster offensive line to potentially control the line of scrimmage & pound the rock

offensively rebs qb1 anthony colandrea (18 of 38 for 225 yards on a rainy freezing azz nite in miserable boise, allegiant is an indoor stadium) passed for 3050 yards this season but he's also really dangerous when he starts running & it will be critical that cade uluave play at a nfl level in spying on colandrea


the 2026 game will be a potentially winnable game on the road against a very good opponent, this will be one of tosh's 1st tests in emotionally preparing (not a wilcox strength) his squad to play for 60 violent ******* minutes!!
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mbBear
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In reply to calumnus • 9:14p, 12/5/25
calumnus said:
Shocky1 said:
ron, when you throw out gratuitous thanks to jay & jenny (who are not berkeley grads) for helping you fill out last nite the uc bureaucracy employment paperwork (which resulted in virtually no clapping, very awkward) please keep in mind that your 100% DISRESPECTING the suicidal berkeley women's swimmers and their families who had to endure the EVIL AS **** JENNIFER SIMON-O'NEIL enabling the criminal teri mckeever ABUSE for decades

that's kinda like giving out a shout out to michael vick at a animal rescue facility black tie fundraiser telling everybody he wuz a great nfl qb1

honestly, stephanie must be embarzzed by some of the **** you say sometimes

https://instagr.am/p/DR5G9_Hgav1

I do get the feeling that Ron has been busy with NFL jobs most of the last 42 years or so and is not well informed about what has been going on at Cal.
Cal bureaucracy likes to sweep stuff under the rug and Ron isn't looking under the rug.

Tosh was definitely the best speaker today.


His wife was a trustee and they have been major donors for several years.. obviously, his NFL work was a
lot, but I wouldn't consider him out of the loop per se, and he has always had contacts within the university...
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Shocky1
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9:16p, 12/5/25
ron reads the monster, he's NOT uninformed
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:25p, 12/5/25
Shocky1 said:


coeur d'alene golf/real estate update:

gozzer ranch is the best course in the region, black rock gotta lotta fun holes but is an unwalkable cartball only design but the best hole is the island green par 3 at the resort

it's only accessible by boat

https://instagr.am/p/rdG-nWHiYF

washington state head coach jimmy rogers is heading to iowa state, justin wilcox lives 80 miles away & if he's hired as the cougs next hc then it would reduce the future cal payout of his annual salary dollar for dollar by the wsu compensation

also it would create job/career opportunities for a couple of the current members of the bears staff

this would be a win/win/win deal (with the only potential downside being justin offering terrence brown a solo defensive coordinator opportunity)!!

fun fact: nobody with options in life wants to live thru winters in the palouse (just ask rolo, imo he wuz intentionally looking for a way out)
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sonofabear51
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:40p, 12/5/25
Nice!!



Saw these guys a couple yers ago live. They are the real deal. They rock.

Hope you enjoy.
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calumnus
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In reply to mbBear • 10:04p, 12/5/25
mbBear said:
calumnus said:
Shocky1 said:
ron, when you throw out gratuitous thanks to jay & jenny (who are not berkeley grads) for helping you fill out last nite the uc bureaucracy employment paperwork (which resulted in virtually no clapping, very awkward) please keep in mind that your 100% DISRESPECTING the suicidal berkeley women's swimmers and their families who had to endure the EVIL AS **** JENNIFER SIMON-O'NEIL enabling the criminal teri mckeever ABUSE for decades

that's kinda like giving out a shout out to michael vick at a animal rescue facility black tie fundraiser telling everybody he wuz a great nfl qb1

honestly, stephanie must be embarzzed by some of the **** you say sometimes

https://instagr.am/p/DR5G9_Hgav1

I do get the feeling that Ron has been busy with NFL jobs most of the last 42 years or so and is not well informed about what has been going on at Cal.
Cal bureaucracy likes to sweep stuff under the rug and Ron isn't looking under the rug.

Tosh was definitely the best speaker today.


His wife was a trustee and they have been major donors for several years.. obviously, his NFL work was a
lot, but I wouldn't consider him out of the loop per se, and he has always had contacts within the university...

Well yes, but "contacts within the university" tend to spread the company line or if not that, their own narrative. He could have missed the whole McKeever scandal, or just trust Lyons who might also be a bit in the dark, because for some reason, he promoted those two?

Doesn't matter what Ron knew before he came, he's in the middle of it.
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Shocky1
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3:14a, 12/6/25

sabers on top!!#
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9:56a, 12/6/25



standing next to me (at a SOLD OUT memorial stadium for the ucla invasion on saturday september 5, 2026)!!#
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10:37a, 12/6/25

https://instagr.am/p/CsukIi2tyZo
this is cal football#

cal poly-berkeley=#1 ranked island (snorkeling) school on planet earth
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HoopDreams
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12:31p, 12/6/25

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In reply to Shocky1 • 12:36p, 12/6/25
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/C090vLpO8wx
parking lot conversation last nite at 1:47 am while shocky wuz being walked to his car in shreveport:

shocky: excuse me miss, why are your crying, is everything all right?

texas tech curvy brunette yoga female (4th from left or right, it don't matter): not really, im graduating this week from the #159th ranked school in the united states with a kinda worthless degree, as im entering the real world it's finally dawning on me that those that are undereducated in today's fiercely competitive global economy are ******, going to pool and lake parties does not build generational wealth plus ima kinda done living in texas, would really rather go explore the world with someone fun and just keep a condo at turtle creek so i can visit my parents every now and then so they can see the baby

shocky: oh come on, your raiders just dominated the #1 ranked public university in the world plus there's always a bright future at the discount tire in plano, jimmy's adult cabaret in lubbock or the buc-ee's food service statewide training program for a very pretty girl like you!

yoga girl: that's not the future i want!...i want to travel the world and take romantic stagecoach rides thru central park at midnite with someone who makes me laugh and that never takes commercial flights!...how can i meet a berkeley, stanford or ivy league grad to date and marry?

shocky: wut's ur gpa?


^ the unbridled no social filtered happiness of the cajon box drummer on the far left is kinda how shocky feels every time at modern yoga when he gets on his mat or how jaron keawe sagapolutele feels when he attends his alma mater's hawaii state championship football game!!


^ take a wild azz guess who shocky thinks is the most attractive raiderette (helpful hint: it's not the dude to the far right)!!

texas tech raiders 34
byu cougars 7

don't let the final score fool u, cougs stanford transfer qb1 #47 bear bachmeier gutted it out with an heavily bandaged injured left ankle which eliminated his elite ability to powerfully run the ball coupled with rb1 lj martin (1229 yards rushing this season, will return in 2026 with the bear)...bachmeier tho is not a dangerous passer in the downfield vertical passing attack, his strength is short & intermediate dump offs to wideouts catching the ball in stride for yards after catch as his longer passes tend to kinda float in the airspace

https://instagr.am/p/DR70LjzkUJU
the bears travel to provo on saturday september 12, 2026 which is a very loud atmosphere, shocky thought it wuz funny that at halftime they handed out FREE mini cartons of vanilla ice cream to all the visiting berkeley faithful (the cookie monster nicely asked if he could trade for chocolate ice cream or maybe chocolate chip cookies & wuz politely tole that wuz not an option)

https://instagr.am/p/DOrJYIckrAE
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12:53p, 12/6/25


^^^ thx to my former fellow hoops dream/haas biz ad partner standing next to me during our MONSTER wild ride back in the day in our quest to bring a men's basketball national championship (if caleb swanigan, rip, had been able to get his guardian roosevelt barnes to sign his letter of intent to berkeley we would've started 5 future NBA hoopers with sharpshooter jordan mathews as the 6th man!!) to berkeley

go bows (except on saturday december 24, 2025)!!#
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Shocky1
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2:48p, 12/6/25

zeke, the NFL is a savage billion dollar++++++ biz that preys upon the weak, r u gonna bring a VIOLENT physicality for nightmare tackling to honolulu on december 24th & make the bows pay for their dreams & ****??

ur running outta time brah (the **** if u don't think nfl scouts don't know ur candy azz soft game), the time is NOW!!

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4:28p, 12/6/25
https://instagr.am/p/DFbTKh6ON6N
cal pro golf update:

congrats to former bear & legoland high school star james song winning co medalist honors at 4 under par (70, 65, 69, 72) at tpc star pass tuscon in 2nd stage korn ferry tour qualifying which means song will advance to final qualifying next week at tpc sawgrass (dye valley, not the stadium course)...top 5 in finals will receive a 2026 pga tour card and the rest of the field earns different levels of korn ferry tour or pga americas (canadian mini tour) status...let's ******* go james!!
https://www.mondayq.com/posts/no-margin-for-error

kk limbhaust wuz +7 for the week & will not advance...shocky walked with kk at a pga tournament in texas he got into a couple of years ago, he wuz the shortest hitter in the field according to pga tour stats...like 6 of the 8 way undersized current bears (other than z & berridge) limbhaust never cored out/built up his body with s&c work along with tracking his daily protein grams to generate the ball/clubhead speed that is necessary to play at the highest levels of golf despite an unreal short game (putting & scrambling) & lethal accuracy iron play...the good news is that like his best friend collin morikawa (both guys got gaming addictions), kk is a haas biz ad grad!!

fun fact: yeah shanky is constructed like a lean feral doggy dog but guess ******* wut??...the monster's goal is not to play on a men's ncca championship team and/or get PAID playing professional golf, he just wanna continue playing the world's top 100 courses (played 17 of the golf magazine wt100 lists) & hopefully becoming a substitute yoga teacher at modern yoga (will require learning how to do the elusive handstand, headstands r for losers)!!

get lost if ur not supportive of my dreams (and nightmares)!!

ouch#
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10:32p, 12/6/25
https://instagr.am/p/CbEEt-YLtpB
duke blue devils 27
virginia cavaliers 20

congrats to acc champs (neither team is honestly better than the bears but that's not how life works) the blue devils (8-5) in exorcising the cardiac kid cavaliers (10-3)

cal travels to charlottesville in the fall of 2026 (shocky is excited to play again farmington cc just miles from scott stadium)...the great news is that the gutty winner qb1 chandler morris (shades of paws back in the day) with no clear replacement at this time (the qb2 saw very limited action in throwing for 339 yards), 1000 yard rushing rb1 j'mari taylor & wr1 trell harris (56 receptions for 809 yards) are all outta eligibility which means scoring points next season is gonna be way more challenging for the cavs

yeah charlottesville is mid atlantic foliage beautiful in the fall, bring ur clubs (and bail money for when we storm the field together with u running/standing by my side) on this roadie!!

https://instagr.am/p/DQ7yRoRDBc3
but the last time shocky wuz in charlottesville on a gameday holding hands for good luck in the final seconds with the coach's wife roberta in the 1st row behind the cal bench as our hoopers lost a brutal roadie against the #5 ranked virginia on their home court on an improbable 3 point dagger to the heart!!



cal's monster class (what's too painful to remember we simply choose to forget and the smiles we left behind and the laughter we remember of the way we were, could it have all been so simple then??)#
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Oski87
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:00p, 12/6/25
Could not agree more. What a stud for the Bears.
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11:30p, 12/6/25
87, honestly shocky is a bigger fan of king kamehameha than jaron keawe sagapolutele (whose 3.75 gpa is admittedly better than the king) but that's just me

https://instagr.am/p/DOR2dJHEUfF
1:37 am festivities in the cabana by the pool (don't worry, 99% of the hotel staff leaves at 9:00 pm for the commute back to kahului)#
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Shocky1
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9:38a, 12/7/25

marketing 101: all uc davis students (along with all berkeley students) with an id card should be offered FREE admission into all 2026 cal football games


tee dog is such a good doggy dog!!#
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Shocky1
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1:21p, 12/7/25


cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island (if u know u know the campbell high school state CHAMPIONSHIP news brah)

https://instagr.am/p/DIPHMW7ydOs
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Shocky1
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3:14p, 12/7/25

2027 cal football schedule:

right now the bears got a roadie to ucla september 4th & byu invading memorial stadium on september 11th, chief of staff andrew mcgraw needs to lock in/schedule portland state during the next 30 days in a game that would garner NATIONAL media attention

the designated polynesian celebration gameday (with heavily discounted group tix sales) would include a pregame coin toss with mr & mrs sagapotele at midfield with their extended families including their sons as captains of their respective teams handing the ref the coin to unreal decibel 17 thunderous applause and the cal band halftime show playing a FUN mix of hawaiian themed songs


^ check out at the end of the song how sixto (shocky stood backstage at coachella & literally cried during his performance, rip brah) ignores letterman so he can talk to the curvy brunette yoga female violinist which is not incomprehensible at all
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6:47p, 12/7/25
https://instagr.am/p/DR-ug6kEjK9
california golden bears 92
san jose spartans 52

this is a wildly entertaining team (7-3) whose upside is only limited by turnovers (showing improvement the last 2 games, only 12 this afternoon) & the coaching failure to play 2 bigs at the same time with relentless naya ojuwku (19 points in 15 minutes, averaging under 9 mpg which is coaching malpractice) & sakima walker (16 points in 19 minutes)...both should be STARTING (each with 30+ mpg) with sakima at the 5 and naya sliding to the 4 to give the bears a strong rebounding/interior d presence

last season coach smith also didn't play her 2 bigs at the same time which basically wasted the talents of gabby abigor by not giving her big minutes at the 5 which would've allowed +1 athletic michelle onyiah to slide to the 4 which would've facilitated her mitigating her fouling propensity by not having to defend opposing teams physical 5s

today's attendance: 1150

men's attendance last game at haas pavilion: 2688

if chancellor lyons allows the current co athletic director ****tards jay & jenny to hire the next marketing director that will be a DEATH SENTENCE for the hoops programs

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Shocky1
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4:13a, 12/8/25

cal's monster class OFFICIAL 2026 cal football schedule ranking (based upon rosters today):

1) smu (in dallas): well coached physical team with an elite qb1 kevin jennings who is a top 3 qb in the acc...rb1 tj harden is outta eligibility but the backups actually got more breakaway speed than him...defensively the graduations of leading tacklers s1s ahmaad moses (91 tackles) & isaiah nwokobia (80 tackles) could be an issue for the ponys...a plus for the bears is that low key racist smu (which dakota dickson is gonna find out about this summer) is not supported by the dallas community outside of its grads which means the gamedays really aren't that loud/hostile as gerald j ford stadium got more luxury boxes/suites than probably any other college stadium which puts out a country/petroleum club cocktail hour vibe (that's actually kinda disinterested in the game going on in the background)

2) byu (september 12th in provo): qb1 bear bachmeier & rb1 lj martin (1305 yards) lead a physical cougs (11-2 this season) offense that are very formidable at home with an electric atmosphere...jks will be able to attack a good but not great byu defense

3) north carolina state (in raleigh): qb1 cj bailey (2884 yards passing with an unreal 69.6% completion accuracy) is a top 3 acc qb/low round nfl prospect but the miami native is gonna be tampered/solicited by hometown miami to return to south beach for his final season...this ranking could change with the early january transfer portal window

4) clemson (at memorial stadium): elite talent at every position but thankfully not at qb1 with cade klubnik & dabo is not a fan of the transfer portal...fully expect tigers fans to travel to the left coast for this acc battle royale

5) virginia (in charlottesville): yeah the cardiac kids cavs wuz 10-3 in 2025 but scoring points next season is gonna require an infusion of new talent with ice in his veins qb1 chandler morris (the paws of back in the day), 1000 yard rb j'mari taylor & wr1 trell harris (56 receptions for 809 yards) all outta eligibility

6) unlv (october 3rd in las vegas): rebels qb1 anthony colandrea is a threat both with his arm (3050 yards passing) & with his legs but the d gave up 30+ points 6 times in a successful 2025 (10-3)... fully expect the bears faithful (not the expired cal tv "fans") to travel in large numbers to check out allegiant stadium & cheer on jks in vegas baby!!

7) wake forest (at memorial stadium): the 8-4 deacons exceeded expectations in 2025 but will be without rb1 demond claiborne & qb1 robbie ashford when they travel 3000 miles to the left coast in 2026

8) virginia tech (at memorial stadium): the temps in berkeley won't be in the 30s like blacksburg & the hokies won't be able to run the same ******* option play 20+ times in the 2nd half without any ******* adjustments by the bears d staff



9) stanford (at memorial stadium): tosh is gonna make sure the bears are emotionally ready to play the 2026 big game against a rival opponent that lacks offensive firepower other than te1 sam roush

10) syracuse (in syracuse): the 3-9 orange got the worst offense in the acc in 2025, unless a legit qb1 is signed in the january transfer portal they are gonna struggle again moving the ball/scoring points but road games are always tricky/dangerous propositions

11) ucla (september 5th at memorial stadium): the opener for both teams if properly marketed will be a SELL OUT!!...the bruins lose most of their 2 deeps for both the offensive & defensive lines on a 3-9 2025 squad, if the bears can bury them westwood could be looking at a 10+ loss 2026 ****show

12) wagner seahawks (september 19th at memorial stadium): 5-7 against dogfood opponents in 2025, whose gonna be the bears qb2 next season??

what do you think, any adjustments to the ever ending games that you play??

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Shocky1
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6:10p, 12/8/25

championship football starts with an ELITE qb1 (do u got ur tixs for 2026??)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:29p, 12/8/25
Shocky1 said:

ty, we know u got a 4.0 gpa/current econ major & would luv living in cali on the left coast for a year building out ur world class academic resume while playing in the acc but wut's ur electronically timed 40 speed??


future annual $1,000,000+ earner/rainmaker/managing director on wall street#


ezekiel, as a 4.0 gpa student athlete at sierra canyon, do u wanna spend ur final year of eligibility playing further afar from freezing cold azz level 7 hypothermia weather & return home to the left coast (usc is 3 deep at every position & ucla is gonna lose 10+ games in 2026) so ur fam in palmdale can make the 1 hour flite on southwest on gamedays to the cosmopolitan san francisco bay area and augment ur already impressive ivy league resume with a berkeley grad cert??

https://instagr.am/p/DSBS_0FjVeM
fun fact: shocky ******* hates being cold (he's not tuff like aaron hampton)!!
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Shocky1
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8:20p, 12/8/25
https://instagr.am/p/DSBoSkiCZag
why shocky thinks zinqin zhou is a great teammate??

first of all, z got the legit talent/work ethic & upside ability to develop into a top 10 collegiate player in the nation this season but much more importantly his moms "lisa" makes super TASTY dumplings that she kindly shares with shocky!!

https://instagr.am/p/DN6u1j8jZAr
ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
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oskiswifeshusband
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8:57p, 12/8/25
Go Bears!
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Shocky1
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9:08p, 12/8/25
https://instagr.am/p/DM7Psl3Nh_O
Go Bare!



clothes r for losers#
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Shocky1
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1:00a, 12/9/25
nevada multi purpose rb5/kr4/dt16 ashton hayes has entered the transfer portal
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Shocky1
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1:16a, 12/9/25
2026 transfer portal update:

there's apparently some uninformed stupid **** out there with listings of numerous west coast school players entering the portal with no knowledge of gpas, the staff's interest/evaluations or the difference between the types of offers (introductory, conditional & actionable) and dumb azz projections like near berkeley flunk out nyziah hunter returning from nebraska (zero chance of happening)

anyways the wideout #1 target if he opts to enter the portal would be former stanford transfer/4.0 gpa berkeley high school jackson harris who will get a front row view of jks & his unreal downfield vertical passing skills on december 24th and perhaps make the decision to return home & be a day 1 wr1 (most bears formations feature 3 wideouts) in berkeley

https://instagr.am/p/DRxdeqiEhaN
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