cal's monster offensive line

3,829,273 Views | 16241 Replies | Last: 43 min ago by Shocky1
Shocky1
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https://theacc.com/stats.aspx?path=mbball&year=2025
^ click "misc" to get current acc attendance numbers

cal men's basketball attendance: DEAD last #18 in the acc

rich, now is the time to FIRE the co athletic director ****tards jay larson & jennifer simon-o'neil (not berkeley grads) for their far ranging failures from working against the football program, not selling tixs to either of the basketball programs which are playing in front of pathetic sonoma state level crowds with precipitously declining sr citizen fanbases & their unlikeable personalities which has hindered any fundraising for a critically needed dedicated basketball practice facility

Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DPYkpzrDvuI
yeah in case you haven't figured it out, cal's monster class isn't about winning football games, it's not about making a par 3 on the poorly bunkered 16th hole at brambles, it's not about dating and marrying a curvy brunette yoga female that knows how to dine with chopsticks, it's about moving young men with high gpas toward academically elite schools like berkeley, stanford and the ivy league so when they take their place in the world it's with generational wealth and an oceanside patio table at nobu malibu

https://instagr.am/p/BFSAbu4LRPA
delasalle=#1 high school football program in the united states (including lupoi market) during the last couple of decades
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


apparently buom is NOT aware that berkeley, stanford & ivy league degrees lead to building generational wealth in a ruthlessly competitive global economy that with the escalating advances in ai technology are widening the wealth gap between those with diplomas from ELITE academic institutions & the un/undereducated poor that are chasing nfl/nba dreams that are NOT realistic

no berkeley degree, this is NOT a 50 year decision, sadly this is the struggle that must be for those without mentors in life...but make no mistake about it, there's no bigger fan of #46 always high motor 3.4 gpa anchorage alaska native aaron hampton than shocky!!



don't be a dumb azz (wut's ur gpa??)#

KABBUOM!!

buom is no longer listed on the cal football roster and will NOT be traveling with the team to hawaii

in both high gpa legoland t-rex destroyer luke ferrelli & all american/future yucatan peninsula mini tour golfer cade uluave we trust (to earn berkeley degrees & then get PAID in the NFL)!!#


^ this is NOT an actual foto of cade on the 13th fairway at tilden park from yesterday at 2:47 pm (them polys like uluave & shocky r way more tan than that white boy)

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
sonofabear51
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BUMP
Shocky1
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^ real talk: if this guy wanna cut shocky in line at whole foods or the am/pm 32 pumper gas station at 1:52 am then the monster is gonna wave him thru with a smile

is this intense as **** guy for reals or ai generated?? (he/him/it does NOT got a yoga/meditation practice at modern yoga)#
calumnus
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Shocky1
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monster mailbag: liane wong, the director of public records office in berkeley, is advising me that coach lupoi's contract is currently in "draft format" and that the "premature release" of this document is clearly outlawed per multiple unverifiable legal statutes such as inverse condensation & imminent domain and to circle back again when the canadian geese fly home for the summer

bottom line, liane is NOT gonna give shocky **** for a while re: tosh's contract
Shocky1
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monster mailbag:

Dear Shockey,

How are you?

I am fine.

Look UCLA may have the worst offensive line in the history of college football in 2026 but make no mistake about it I've already offered Jaivian "the Jet" Thomas a $1,000,000 dismemberment and accidental death life insurance policy to protect his and Javona's best interests, got it??

And quit making FUN of James Madison you smelly azz dirty Berkeley hippie, see you on Saturday September 5, 2026 at a SOLD OUT Memorial Stadium!!

Bob Chesney
UCLA Head Football Coach


^ not gonna lie, this (at a cal basketball game back in the day) happens a lot to shocky for incomprehensible reasons

Shocky1
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coach wilson's mailbag:

https://instagr.am/p/DSLj5qQkp8Z
shocky 100% disagrees with this candy azz soft holiday message to "take time off and recharge batteries," the cal men's golf team is the most undersized squad in d1 golf!!

other than z & berridge, the other 6 guys look like they be on the caldecott tunnel high school girl's cross country junior varsity team or something with their slim jim body frames, no es bueno

yeah these mofos need to WORK their azzs off with s&c development (not an ineffectual sorry azz 3 hours a week like they did this winter) & track their daily protein grams, the team goal should be reporting back to berkeley in january with an aggregate 35+ lbs of new muscle

let's ******* go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

winners never rest (unless it's nappy nap time)!!

Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DCANhKYTJD3
monster mailbag:

shocky got a nice holiday card from his friend joey garon who is general manager of the shanqin bay golf club on hainan island (which is the hawaii of china) inviting me back for a potential 4th visit to literally the most private golf course in the world which this coore & crenshaw masterpiece (easily the best course in asia, it's a world top 25 design in my rankings ballot) that has only been played by a dozen or so westerners lucky enough to visit

there are epic ocean holes with the only structures on the property (unlike housing development pebble beach) being the magnificent clubhouse overlooking the bluffs & the meandering stone walls

https://instagr.am/p/BDilZUghHeU
^ notice the broncs baker level sorry azz leaning tower of pisa form back in the day (the monster is improving in his craft)

yeah shocky is the only person to evah post up on the driving range, they apparently still talk about that ****, would be fun to tee it up there with zinqin & xihuan

https://instagr.am/p/CZUlDjQrySJ
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD


did berkeley really hire a ******* head football coach that don't know **** about MAPS??



don't be a dumb azz (wut's ur gpa brah, r u a us american so we will be able to build up our future??)#

cal's monster class MAILBAG (this is ACTUAL email correspondence from this evening with chancellor lyons):

Hi Rich,

How are you??

I am fine.

Yes or No question: is it accurate to say that Berkeley is the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD (vs just the USA)??

-Shocky

____________________________________________________

Thanks Bill.

It's tricky since it's unclear how to categorize Cambridge and Oxford in the UK.

See the attached ChatGPT page on the question of whether Cambridge is considered a public university.

See also the attached page on the fact that in all five rankings that people site for US universities, Berkeley is ranked number one among publics in each of the five.

Rich

____________________________________________________

ChapGPT

Yes-Cambridge is considered a public university in the UK, but the term public works differently in the UK than in the U.S.

Why Cambridge is "public" in the UK sense

-It receives significant public funding (via the Office for Students and UK research councils).

-It is regulated by government bodies and its governance structure is established by statute.

-It does not belong to private owners; it operates as a charitable corporation.

How this differs from U.S. usage

In the U.S., public university usually means a state-owned, state-run institution (e.g., UC Berkeley). Cambridge is not run by the government in that direct way. It's autonomous, self-governing, and organized around independent colleges.

_____________________________________________________

BOTTOM LINE: berkeley is the #1 ranked public university in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shocky is forwarding this email correspondence with the berkeley chancellor to andrew mcgraw the chief of staff for the cal football program with instructions that on a go forward berkeley be only referred to as the GREATEST ******* public university on planet earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

got it??

go bears




2026 transfer portal recruiting update:


nico, as a 4.0 gpa grad of both edison hs in huntington beach & a recent econ major from yale (that missed the entire 2023 season due to an injury) wuz u aware that berkeley is ranked academically higher than yale and that academic work from both would set u up on a path for building generational wealth as a bro of wall street, a golf membership in the hamptons & a reserved ocean patio table at nobu malibu??

did u know that the best university golf course on planet earth is located in new haven connecticut & is currently closed for gil hanse sympathetic restoration work to bring back the seth raynor designed bold geometric features??

did u know that them berkeley bears gotta qb1 named jaron keawe sagapolutele that can throw dimes off platform into 12 inch back shoulder windows??

did u know that berkeley is an hour flite on southwest for the fam on 2026 fall gamedays??

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD
Shocky1
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jenny is engaging the monster on the women's basketball board:
https://bearinsider.com/forums/4/topics/131717
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


zeke, the NFL is a savage billion dollar++++++ biz that preys upon the weak, r u gonna bring a VIOLENT physicality for nightmare tackling to honolulu on december 24th & make the bows pay for their dreams & ****??

ur running outta time brah (the **** if u don't think nfl scouts don't know ur candy azz soft game), the time is NOW!!




let's ******* go, zeke & get PAID in the national ******* league brah!!#
Shocky1
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time to remove the cart paths at pebble beach (aesthetic nightmare)#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/DGGTvHNtWI_
cam, shocky had multiple conversations with nando's dad in the field club at memorial stadium & also at road games last season, honestly found him to be very unlikeable in an arrogant little league dad kinda way & socially awkward in an intellectually brilliant (he's a doc in miami) kinda way (gave me high functioning spectrum autistic vibes)

last season's señor caca's abrupt bipolar transformation from "98 yard with my teammates" to that late nite badmouthing cal to get jaron to flip to oregon & then faking an injury close to gametime (thereby preventing the staff from giving a qb2 critical practice week reps) in dallas vs smu is most likely a direct result of his dad's misdirected anger (wife suffering from a life threatening medical condition), intense ego gratification needs & unjustified paranoia that his son wuz somehow disrespected in berkeley

a very dialed in source has shared with me that nando tried to come back to the program during the la bowl but he missed his flight & wuz tole by wilcox that the program had already moved on

bottom line, shocky is thrilled that the humble/grounded 3.75 gpa lefty from ewa beach with loving respectful drama free parents is the bears qb1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



https://instagr.am/p/DSOZunuDIFi
CONGRATS to the haas business school on another stunning achievement!!

haas biz ad grads now include:

*****a HEISMAN TROPHY winner
*****a winner of 2 of golf's major championships (pga championship & british open)
*****the current berkeley chancellor
*****hoop dreams, sam singer & stephen domingo
*****the future head coach in training for the cal football program
*****prez of the athletics baseball organization (and previously prez of the las vegas raiders)

*****a dumb azz/former sfgc caddie whose played 17 of the golf magazine world top 100 lists
*****thousands of ceos with high gpas who built generational wealth

https://instagr.am/p/DRkN66qjX_m
fun fact: shocky had 11:37 pm naked azz yoga at barrows hall back in the day



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
sonofabear51
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Wow Shocky, you've been busy!! Keep 'em coming!
swan
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Shocky,
In the same general area of the Yale golf course is Tamarack Country Club in Greenwich, Ct.
Designed by Charles Banks an associate of Seth Raynor, the course is a hidden jewell of NE golf. I haven't played it since the restoration work completeed by Brian Schneider in 2024, but I plan to in 2026.
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DP1jVOdERWq
swan, thx for the heads up re: the completion of the talented brian schneider (tom doak's lead associate along with jc urbina) of charlie "steam shovel" banks work at tamarack (these fotos look awesome particularly the punchbowl green!!)...like u, shocky will play there in 2026 during probably either the summertime us open week at shinnecock hills or the bears fall roadie to syracuse

back to nor cal check out my golf buddy andy johnson's FUN guide (with an emphasis upon public courses) to bay area golf, even those that ******* hate golf should watch the first 30 seconds!!



yeah in the city by the bay u never quite know for sure who might be standing next to u!!

JB was a Chieftain
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/DP1jVOdERWq
swan, thx for the heads up re: the completion of the talented brian schneider (tom doak's lead associate along with jc urbina) of charlie "steam shovel" banks work at tamarack (these fotos look awesome particularly the punchbowl green!!)...like u, shocky will play there in 2026 during probably either the summertime us open week at shinnecock hills or the bears fall roadie to syracuse

back to nor cal check out my friend andy johnson's FUN guide (with an emphasis upon public courses) to bay area golf, even those that ******* hate golf should watch the first 30 seconds!!



yeah in the city by the bay u never quite know for sure who might be standing next to u!!



Shocks, Im no golfer but thanks for sharing the video. Very informative and cool to see the bay area golf scene so welcoming to everyone!
LonelyCalFanInWA
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Shocks, nice video, thanks for sharing. Who new that "Sting" lived in San Francisco
Shocky1
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jb & wa, kinda thought sting lived in the desert or something but can't blame him for wanting to live within shouting distance of tadich grill



Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


the TAKERS r targeting +1 athletic nfl upside talent for the 2026 class#

congrats to 3.7 gpa mason signing with vanderbilt
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C7MjtKBLxNI
after walking 18 holes on his favorite florida gold course (fabulously restored by c&c with the sand dunes brought into play) on shocky's taxi ride for his next flite further afar east he passed under a ginormous electronic billboard overhanging the entrance to miami international airport with a massive foto of a smiling nando proclaiming "Congratulations to Miami's own Fernando Mendoza on winning the 2025 Heisman Trophy"

interestingly it did not mention his school(s)



Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DSQr635kgi2
stanford cardinals 78
california golden bears 69

good news: continued ball security development/limiting wasted possessions with less ill advised 1 handed passes (particularly cross court thru traffic) & moving screens with only 7 turnovers against a +1 athletic opponent with length

bad news: failing to play together (just like with michelle & gabby last season basically wasting abigor's special interior post defensive gifts & protecting onyiah from foul trouble) sakima (13 points with 2 boards in 25 minutes) & naya (an unreal 9 points with 6 boards in only 15 minutes) on the court at the same time, what happens if ojuwku's minutes are doubled with the TWIN TOWERS controlling the paint??

them FUN bears (8-4) battle the lindsay gottlieb (who is widely flexible/innovative along with being a dynamic fundraiser & at some point will win a national championship) #16 ranked usc trojans (7-3) next sunday at chase arena in san francisco
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DSQsu6Ekga8
question: where is this??

answer: the driving range at the olympic club with the ocean course practice putting green, 1st tee & 18th green also coming into view

james song update: in korn ferry tour finals qualifying at tpc valley & sawgrass cc james shot +7 (71, 72, 74 & 70) to finish tied for 139th which will secure song pga americas (canadian mini tour below the korn ferry tour) status for 2026...james needs to improve his driving accuracy (missed 23 fairways over 4 rounds) which resulted in finishing almost last in the field in greens in regulation (only 35 outs 72) but still an overall solid year in his player development in the quest towards the big dance
wifeisafurd
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


the TAKERS r targeting +1 athletic nfl upside talent for the 2026 class#

congrats to 4.0 gpa mason signing with vanderbilt

Vandy is a legit SEC contender and will be swimming in the same pool for talent as Cal and Furd.
Shocky1
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2027 cal recruiting update:

a major priority for the TAKERS is 6'2" 190 lbs haka warrior safety malakai taufoou from serra high school down the peninsula who is planning on a summertime decision


malakai plays with a physical aggression & closes on the ball with high fb iq/natural instincts

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island
Pittstop
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


the TAKERS r targeting +1 athletic nfl upside talent for the 2026 class#

congrats to 4.0 gpa mason signing with vanderbilt


Who the he** is Mason Lewis? Did we even know thee?
Shocky1
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pitts, mason lewis is a 3.7 gpa defensive back from powerhouse basha high school in the east valley outside phx, the former cal commit also had actionable offers from minnesota & north carolina

this is not the same kinda deal as sub 3.0 gpa corner back leon jackson from long beach poly decommitting during signing week due to academic concerns/silver bullet admissions
Shocky1
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fun fact: 4.0 gpa berkeley high school grad jackson harris is NOT sitting outta the bows bowl game vs the bears because he's gonna declare for the nfl (he's ineligible to do that, hasn't spent 3 years in college yet)

https://instagr.am/p/DGJxGyYyilV
Shocky1
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while this is a surprising decision shocky thinks the current nfl experience with the tampa bay buccaneers coupled with tosh's direct working relationship at oregon makes jordan sommerville (29 year old asu grad) a solid hire as the next bear's offensive coordinator

it's very clear that tosh is hiring likable extroverted personalities like him that can relentlessly RECRUIT!!

of course cal's expired tv "fans" will complain about his lack of experience but that's how you end up with ******* alcoholic retreads like musgrave & spavital who have worked at gazillions of places until people get tired of their ****

sommerville is a fresh face with a relentless work ethic reputation & will be mentored by rolo in a collegiate football profession that's moving towards younger coaches due to the non stop recruiting/player retention requirements in 2026

let's ******* go, jordan, welcome to berkeley (with the cal's monster class stamp of approval)!!
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx
2023 golf magazine world top 100 list:

as someone who has played all the world top 100 lists since 1997, very interested in receiving today an advance release of the 2023 rankings (ranked every 2 years) which will be publicly released in december

fun fact: my former caddieing (during my stinson beach high school & college berkeley days in my quest to get PAID) home course san francisco golf club is #38, the cal club is #45 while the olympic lake (#96 in the 2021 rankings) drops out of the world top 100, the just completed gil hanse renovation will hopefully add some fun & more strategic options to the design along with eliminating the weird walk to the 8th tee box from the 7th green...also looking forward to playing coore & crenshaw's brambles when it formally opens in 2024, yeah it's just up the hill from my future t-rex yoga studio in yountville

there are 8 new additions to the 2023 rankings:

#68 the lido (not played)...tom doak's replica based upon historical documents in wisconsin of the charles blair mcdonald no longer in existence masterpiece on long island...slim wadie & shocky will be visiting the sand valley resort next june

#76 point hardy (not played)...coore & crensahw design on the clifftops in st lucia


#85 te arai south (not played)...coore & crenshaw design in the sand dunes north of auckland...slim wadie (who has never been to nz) & shocky gotta a february g2c2 (global golf centurion club) new zealand trip which will also include tara iti (ranked#20), tom doak's te arai (north) course & another trip to my favorite resort in the world cape kidnappers


#88 lofoten links (played)...in northern norway (home of the spectacular northern lights in the winter) shocky played a brisk round in the morning, went with my kids to the beach all afternoon, took an evening sofa king nap & then walked another 18 holes teeing off at the stroke of midnight


#95 shanqin bay (played)...this coore & crenshaw gem on the cliffs of hainan island in china is my favorite course in asia, there's nothing even remotely close in terms of greatness


#96 victoria (played)...very cool mackenzie design in melbourne's sand belt region, this clever australian course with spectacular bunkering starts with a downhill drivable par 4 with a million potential strategies


#97 machrihanish (played)...on a remote scottish isle sits arguably the greatest starting 1st hole in golf


#100 royal cinque ports (played)...the low key kinda scruffy english club got wild azz greens with tumultuous undulations

so right now schulzie is a 97 with 3 to go to complete the latest quest



what's your life adventure (and whose gonna accompany you on your journey)?#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and there's a lotta world to see)

https://instagr.am/p/DRQTe3HDzkp
2025 golf magazine world top 100 list:

there are 5 new additions to the 2025 rankings:

#73 childress hall (not played)...shocky just secured an invitation (took 24 hours which is around 23 hours longer than it usually takes for me to get a tee time anywhere on planet earth) with lamps (tara iti & friar's head member) & tommy (o-club member living in seal beach) to finish our 2025 world top 100 lists together on the 18th green of the tom doak design (a gil hanse new build is currently under construction on site) for this uber exclusive pure golf enclave a couple of hours southwest of houston set somewhere in the texas panhandle in the middle of ******* nowhere
https://instagr.am/p/DJ_wx9strgX
#84 caprock ranch (played)...spectacular gil hanse design with almost half the holes literally hanging over the cliffs of the snake river canyon in remote western nebraska, don't be looking over the 5,000+ foot drop-off edges if u got vertigo evel knievel!!
https://instagr.am/p/DHwYoCiyY4d
#89 utrecht de pan (played)...my favorite course in the netherlands, this ROMANTIC ageless beauty colt classic features semi blind shots on many holes to those playing from the wrong side of the fairways...a FUN strategic design that plays firm & fast with a tight routing thru the pine forest an hour outside of amsterdam
https://instagr.am/p/DMDPjIwtJTY
#98 te arai north (played)...shocks & slim wadie walked a 36 hole day with us both reaching the conclusion that it's very good but not great...would not be surprised if this tom doak designed new zealand seaside test with wild azz greens don't drop out in the 2027 rankings
https://instagr.am/p/DRPxVL8E5yg
#100 cape wickham (played)...the most underrated course in the world (a legit world 25 course)!!...designed by my guys the talented mike devries (handled the terrific mackenzie restoration of the meadow club) & darius oliver this australian oceanside beauty is one of the windiest sites on planet earth located on king island (rivals kyoto for the best grass fed beef anywhere) a short bumpy flight from melbourne

dang, shocky got a NEW course (wut up buc-ee??) to visit to complete the 2025 world top 100 list!!



https://top100golf.blogspot.com/2006/01/people-who-have-played-top-100-golf.html

https://instagr.am/p/DSS2jiuCUk1
^ shocky wuz sadly mistaken on the early birdie putt call on the par 5 18th hole (boo)

KAAAABBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shocky completed the 2023 golf magazine world top 100 list at cabot point hardy in st lucia this morning!!

spectacular coore & crenshaw design with half a dozen intergalactic holes literally in the caribbean ocean, the only criticism is that due to the hilly jungle like terrain the routing is not tight for an easily walkable round

https://instagr.am/p/DBcJRKruW1N
r u relentlessly pursuing ur dreams (other than a handstand because u got t-rex arms or something)??#


https://instagr.am/p/DSJFYxLjZiN
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DMLteMfR-Tt
shocky & his daughter taylor are blown away by the food offerings at cap maison (a tiny boutique hotel with amazing service) here in the west indies, the fresh poke bowls (at the naked fisherman restaurant) are as good as anything in the hawaiian islands

no cap


^ astute readers might be able to guess who shocky thinks is the most attractive member of st lucia (helpful hint: it's not the lead singer who looks like david kravish)
Pittstop
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Shocky1 said:

pitts, mason lewis is a 3.7 gpa defensive back from powerhouse basha high school in the east valley outside phx, the former cal commit also had actionable offers from minnesota & north carolina

this is not the same kinda deal as sub 3.0 gpa corner back leon jackson from long beach poly decommitting during signing week due to academic concerns/silver bullet admissions

Cal is better than "Minnesota and NC". 'WAS' and 'IS'. In football, in academics, and in 'university world ranking'.
Shocky1
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CONGRATS to curlee thomas on earning a berkeley degree & just as importantly knowing that berkeley is the "#1 ranked public university in the WORLD"

luv this guy, go be great!!#
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