cal's monster offensive line

1,999,093 Views | 11825 Replies | Last: 58 min ago by calumnus
89Bear
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Shocky1 said:

what up 89?

none of the starting 5 monster offensive linemen played at their current position vs washington state last year

it's gonna be their 1st day out, yeah we wanted in 2 states can't move wrong



on 10 paws we stood tall#


Understood. Let's set the standard!!!
Also, us old folk want to see a photo of Taylor's stripper mom!!!
Shocky1
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arizona state university=#1 ranked stripper school in the united states of america & its territories such as ibiza and so forth

forks up (on the pole or the houseboat)#
Bobodeluxe
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"the most annoying screeching in game announcer voice of all time, she won't shut up"

Yes.

God, this site missed you.
Shocky1
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bobo, we gotta find a new voice, it's now or never and yeah it's off the record, them california golden bears monster offensive line is gonna take it to the o

the washington state cougars are candy azz stripper *****es, they from 63rd



in #62, #73, #71, #60, #72 & #63 we trust#
ducky23
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Chapman_is_Gone said:

Wow, Shocky, your daughter is almost as homely as you are. You can feel free to keep her social media bull****, and yours as well, off this board.

I hope she at least knows why people wear socks...it's so their ****ing feet don't smell bad. You should learn from her.

It's sad the owners of this site are going to allow one incredibly annoying individual to control the energy of Growls...that is not a wise business decision.

And Shocky, us white people don't appreciate your racist comments. So **** off.



I feel bad for anyone who is not wildly entertained by the shockster
GivemTheAxe
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Shocky1 said:



gotta love all them california golden bears but not gonna lie these guys in the o-line room are by far & away my favorite guys on the team...look at their genuine kinda tired smiles, they all are truly one love...they toil in obscurity & when they **** up everybody in the stadium knows it, when they hustle to the 2nd level & knock the defenders on their ******* azzs like they did on saturday everybody praises the all world explosive freshman running back...they just can't win

but that's ok, these are some of the highest gpa & academically successful guys on the team, they not dumb azz fake models or something

check out the eternal happiness etched on #71 6'3" 335 lbs sioape vatikani sprawled out in the foto like a 12 year old haka dance warrior at camp friendly pines with his brahs, what time is benji's bbq?

notice coach mcclure's hand on the back of #62 6'4" 330 lbs ben coleman, they got a connection

#73 6'4" 295 lbs matthew cindric look like he auditioning for a rogaine hair commercial, sure hope cindo decide to return to berkeley next season for a 6th year so he can continue to save money at the supercuts on durant getting the tuesday afternoon baldy special discount

#72 6'4" 300 lbs tj session look happy (kinda like greg) with the folded arms at being back in the warm cali fall sunlite & outta the depressing as **** white azz montana snowstorms & #63 6'6" 285 lbs brayden rhome is signaling with his right hand the gpa necessary to play for them arizona wildcats

great to see #78 jackson brown fill out his 6'6" 305 lb frame, his continued development will be the #1 story at the next spring ball as he competes as an athletic tackle with upside

only guy not smiling is 6'6" 335 spencer lovell & that's only cuz he got a boot on his right foot & he the lead singer of before the dawn...do not **** with this guy

this **** is personal for coach johnson who is vamping for the foto like a sugar upped 4th grader at a b-day party & the s&c bad azzs

where is mikey?...is his peeing again on coach wilcox's fake rubber tree in the corner of his office?...that's a bad boy, mikey is not a good boy, go outside mikey

yeah this is a foto of a life time, a foto of 60+ year friendships for adoptable forgotten rescue mutts that nobody gives a **** about except shocky





impose ur ******* will (in a pitch black universe)#


DISAGREE Big Time with your first paragraph.

When Ott broke through the UA line on his 73-yard jaunt to pay dirt it was very obvious that two members of the Cal OLine had made beautiful blocks to open a hole for Ott. There was a third UA lineman trying to fill that gap but too late. By the time he got to the hole Ott was long gone.
SpecSlayer
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What the **** is going on here

Any background on who this guy is for a new poster?
JB was a Chieftain
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SpecSlayer said:

What the **** is going on here

Any background on who this guy is for a new poster?


Just sit back and enjoy the ride
Shocky1
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SpecSlayer said:

What the **** is going on here

Any background on who this guy is for a new poster?

spec, this guy is kinda a dumb azz

since he goes to every home & road football game, why don't u (or anybody else) drop on by & let him introduce himself (he sits on the 50 yard line aisle around the 25th row) to u at the washington game?...would be great to meet u

during the cal's monster class era (5,000,000+ views, the most read thread in the history of college basketball fan boards) of basketball excellence, the shockster attended every home & away game for multiple years during the coach montgomery & coach martin reigns despite living in north scottsdale

shocky=a dumb azz but not a lazy azz
Shocky1
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ben coleman=pac 12 player offensive lineman of the week

listen to the 6'4" 330 lbs articulate & thoughtful leader (along with cindo) on the offensive line, look at his body language kinda get animated & his smile get wider when he talks about trying to catch jaydn ott when he takes it to the ******* house getting further afar in every second, "it's exciting for everybody, we always try to catch him but we'll never catch him, me and cindo running downfield, everybody kinda making fun of it because we're sprinting, you got me and keleki jumping into the end zone skip doing our skip, vatkis doing his kinda funny celebrations, that's the funs part of football"

part of the significant improvement of the offensive line in game #4 can be attributed to moving/separating the experienced guys (coleman & cindric) to stabilize the inexperienced guys (tj & sioape)...there's no doubt sioape benefited playing next to ben and that tj benefited playing next to matt, the grandpas were stabilizing forces/presences for the rookies...during games #1-#3 opponents overloaded the relatively inexperienced right side of the line which kinda made it look like the turnstiles in the nyc subway system at rush hour...that **** is over, baby

this is cal football (impose ur will)

Shocky1
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Jeff82 said:

I have to disagree with you. That run was a mutual effort between Ott and the OL, especially Vatikani, who was clearly dragging Ott clear of the pile and toward the end zone. I watched the replay twice to confirm that.
you are 100% correct, jeff



this play exemplified the beginning of the cal monster offensive line awakening of the sioape vatikani era in berkeley...did u notice how our favorite poly bad azz engages the mildcat defender at the 12 yard line & basically knocks his ******* azz all the way back to the 6 yard line with a relentless smash mouth non stop motor?

the cal football program has suffered many losses during the last decade or so cuz the bears never had an apex predator offensive lineman that could be reliably counted on to create running space on 3&2 and 4&1, sioape is that guy

6'3" 335 lbs sioape vatikani & 6'4" 330 lbs ben coleman got the potential to become the most imposing left side of an offense line in college football during the 2022 season

the monster asks you this, did you kiss that muy caliente yoga chica con pelo negro y ojos verde on the lips?...if not u gotta get to memorial stadium in a couple of weeks for the washington game on october 15th to experience the magic of cal football, got it?...are u gonna represent or what?

make no mistake about it, this **** is getting live

every voice matters at memorial stadium (donde esta, amigo?)#
harebear
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I'm confused. Shocky is a real person who knows things, has good insights, and actually goes to games? If so this week's Bear Insider poll should be updated to include the return of Shocky as one of the options.
Shocky1
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hare, shocky don't want to be in no poll, he want you to make sure you got tix(s) for the washington game on saturday october 22nd when them california golden bears return to memorial stadium

if the huskies beat the bruins this friday nite to stay undefeated, you can fully expect them to bring 10,000+ purple eaters to the game (which will favorably impact tix sales/department revenues), we cannot let them control the crowd noise

personal accountability is kinda important

bears tv fans=happy idiots (go speed racer to the ato 1-800-gobears)






Shocky1
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l

loosely edited transcript of cal grad herm edwards getting fired by chancellor crow & athletic director ray anderson (who is also his agent, kinda a conflict but whatever) in the endzone after losing by a couple of touchdowns to eastern michigan voc ed high school:

herm: what up guys, are we still tailgating later or what, how's that insatiable appetite?

ray: don't get emotional, herm, that ain't like you, you outta know i got a heavy heart but me and michael are gonna walk you to your car

herm: your getting cynical and that won't do, yesterday is still leaking from the roof, can we please be absolutely sure?

michael: herm baby, it's been nice

herm: is there gonna be a mirrorball for me?

ray (winking): yeah we gonna pay you your full contract, no negotiated buyout

herm: do you know the way to san jose?





Big C
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SpecSlayer said:

What the **** is going on here

Any background on who this guy is for a new poster?

There's this guy, name o' shocky. He had a loooooooong basketball thread going for several years. Passionate. Many folks found it entertaining. Some, less so. Count me in the former category. Cal Football and Basketball need more passion and entertainment. For those who don't like it, hey, don't read it. Except for poster Chapman_is_Gone, who should weigh in from time to time because it adds to the fun.

Enjoy it (or not) while you can, because nothing lasts forever.
89Bear
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Big C said:

SpecSlayer said:

What the **** is going on here

Any background on who this guy is for a new poster?

There's this guy, name o' shocky. He had a loooooooong basketball thread going for several years. Passionate. Many folks found it entertaining. Some, less so. Count me in the former category. Cal Football and Basketball need more passion and entertainment. For those who don't like it, hey, don't read it. Except for poster Chapman_is_Gone, who should weigh in from time to time because it adds to the fun.

Enjoy it (or not) while you can, because nothing lasts forever.
He also wears pink shirts and loafers with no socks.
bearister
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cal's monster class - thread CLOSED - PLEASE do not post here - Page 159 | Bear Insider


https://bearinsider.com/forums/8/topics/11616/159
Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection
Send my credentials to the House of Detention
I got some friends inside
Vandalus
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Holy S**t, the Shockster is back! I've missed this, despite my lack of regular posting. Can't wait for more!
~Spectemur agendo~
SBGold
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Totally agree
SBGold
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Was this really where and how it went down?
bearsandgiants
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89Bear said:

Big C said:

SpecSlayer said:

What the **** is going on here

Any background on who this guy is for a new poster?

There's this guy, name o' shocky. He had a loooooooong basketball thread going for several years. Passionate. Many folks found it entertaining. Some, less so. Count me in the former category. Cal Football and Basketball need more passion and entertainment. For those who don't like it, hey, don't read it. Except for poster Chapman_is_Gone, who should weigh in from time to time because it adds to the fun.

Enjoy it (or not) while you can, because nothing lasts forever.
He also wears pink shirts and loafers with no socks.


You wear loafers with socks?
Shocky1
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what up vandy, you file any class action lawsuits this week for those seriously injured by coffee machines or trampolines?...bearister would probably be a terrific co counsel but rumor has it that he's defending the guilty as **** paul & rueben flores right now

we had fun back in the day sitting courtside at haas, remember how we almost did the hang with prez clinton along with his security detail & cfm heeled headphanie's after the arkansas nit game?

anyways, need your help...my other daughter (not my basketball buddy taylor) shay (who is very argumentative unlike her sister) just started her 1st year classs at denver law (she lied on the entrance application that she don't got a crazy as **** dad) so we gonna go to matsuhisa cherry creek (the nobu malibu of denver) the nite before the game on october 15th in boulder

my plan when cal's monster offensive line knocks the buffs defenders on their azzs & jaydn ott takes it at least 50+ yards for a touchdown is to storm folsom field & do the haka celebration with my fellow poly bad azz sioape, so my question to you as my valued legal counsel is what is the maximum fine & detainment period that could be levied upon me by boulder campus police?...if the arresting office is a muy caliente latina yoga chica con pelo negro y ojos grande should i palm her azz or not while in custody/handcuffs or is that not recommended?...is stormin' the field a misdemeanor or a felony?...what is the best fashion choice for maximum tv exposure, purple or fuschia?

yeah pretty sure jim knowlton not gonna bail my broken down sorry azz out of jail & if you would charge me your indigent client rate that would be appreciated, amigo



Shocky1
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bearsandgiants said:

89Bear said:

Big C said:

SpecSlayer said:

What the **** is going on here

Any background on who this guy is for a new poster?

There's this guy, name o' shocky. He had a loooooooong basketball thread going for several years. Passionate. Many folks found it entertaining. Some, less so. Count me in the former category. Cal Football and Basketball need more passion and entertainment. For those who don't like it, hey, don't read it. Except for poster Chapman_is_Gone, who should weigh in from time to time because it adds to the fun.

Enjoy it (or not) while you can, because nothing lasts forever.
He also wears pink shirts and loafers with no socks.


You wear loafers with socks?
pretty sure sb gold & oski (when he gets out of the silverado rehab institute for the 7th time) would agree with me: socks, loafers, underwear & clothes in general r for losers

https://instagr.am/p/Ca7woLmJLcy

go bares#
philbert
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Welcome back Shockster!

Will there be a monster hoops thread or is that dead while Fox is still coach?
89Bear
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Shocky1 said:

what up vandy, you file any class action lawsuits this week for those seriously injured by coffee machines or trampolines?...bearister would probably be a terrific co counsel but rumor has it that he's defending the guilty as **** paul & rueben flores right now

we had fun back in the day sitting courtside at haas, remember how we almost did the hang with prez clinton along with his security detail & cfm heeled headphanie's after the arkansas nit game?

anyways, need your help...my other daughter (not my basketball buddy taylor) shay (who is very argumentative unlike her sister) just started her 1st year classs at denver law (she lied on the entrance application that she don't got a crazy as **** dad) so we gonna go to matsuhisa cherry creek (the nobu malibu of denver) the nite before the game on october 15th in boulder

my plan when cal's monster offensive line knocks the buffs defenders on their azzs & jaydn ott takes it at least 50+ yards for a touchdown is to storm folsom field & do the haka celebration with my fellow poly bad azz sioape, so my question to you as my valued legal counsel is what is the maximum fine & detainment period that could be levied upon me by boulder campus police?...if the arresting office is a muy caliente latina yoga chica con pelo negro y ojos grande should i palm her azz or not while in custody/handcuffs or is that not recommended?...is stormin' the field a misdemeanor or a felony?...what is the best fashion choice for maximum tv exposure, purple or fuschia?

yeah pretty sure jim knowlton not gonna bail my broken down sorry azz out of jail & if you would charge me your indigent client rate that would be appreciated, amigo





I hope that Father Time has not made you lose a step and that you still jump around like a dumb azz...
Vandalus
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Shocky1 said:

what up vandy, you file any class action lawsuits this week for those seriously injured by coffee machines or trampolines?...bearister would probably be a terrific co counsel but rumor has it that he's defending the guilty as **** paul & rueben flores right now

we had fun back in the day sitting courtside at haas, remember how we almost did the hang with prez clinton along with his security detail & cfm heeled headphanie's after the arkansas nit game?

anyways, need your help...my other daughter (not my basketball buddy taylor) shay (who is very argumentative unlike her sister) just started her 1st year classs at denver law (she lied on the entrance application that she don't got a crazy as **** dad) so we gonna go to matsuhisa cherry creek (the nobu malibu of denver) the nite before the game on october 15th in boulder

my plan when cal's monster offensive line knocks the buffs defenders on their azzs & jaydn ott takes it at least 50+ yards for a touchdown is to storm folsom field & do the haka celebration with my fellow poly bad azz sioape, so my question to you as my valued legal counsel is what is the maximum fine & detainment period that could be levied upon me by boulder campus police?...if the arresting office is a muy caliente latina yoga chica con pelo negro y ojos grande should i palm her azz or not while in custody/handcuffs or is that not recommended?...is stormin' the field a misdemeanor or a felony?...what is the best fashion choice for maximum tv exposure, purple or fuschia?

yeah pretty sure jim knowlton not gonna bail my broken down sorry azz out of jail & if you would charge me your indigent client rate that would be appreciated, amigo




LOL, not this week at least. You are correct, Bearister would be a fantastic co-counsel, but alas he's retired. And I do remember the wooooo pig sooie's lol.

I don't know boulder, colorado's specifics re trespass, but it's almost certainly a misdemeanor, fine of probably $500-$1k max + court fees, and possibly (but very unlikely) a permanent ban from the premises. Possible there's a criminal mischief statute that could apply as well, along with civil trespass, which would be its own separate action. That said - 9/10 even if detained, no charges actually filed but possibly a frisking from a muy gorda azz wearing policia. While wearing fuscia could arguably be a crime, it won't kick up to a felony unless you take your clothes off or commit any other crimes while rushing the field. Fair warning.

Hit me up on PM if you want; I know I used to have your number but it looks like it didn't transfer over when I changed phones a few years back.
~Spectemur agendo~
Vandalus
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89Bear said:

Shocky1 said:

what up vandy, you file any class action lawsuits this week for those seriously injured by coffee machines or trampolines?...bearister would probably be a terrific co counsel but rumor has it that he's defending the guilty as **** paul & rueben flores right now

we had fun back in the day sitting courtside at haas, remember how we almost did the hang with prez clinton along with his security detail & cfm heeled headphanie's after the arkansas nit game?

anyways, need your help...my other daughter (not my basketball buddy taylor) shay (who is very argumentative unlike her sister) just started her 1st year classs at denver law (she lied on the entrance application that she don't got a crazy as **** dad) so we gonna go to matsuhisa cherry creek (the nobu malibu of denver) the nite before the game on october 15th in boulder

my plan when cal's monster offensive line knocks the buffs defenders on their azzs & jaydn ott takes it at least 50+ yards for a touchdown is to storm folsom field & do the haka celebration with my fellow poly bad azz sioape, so my question to you as my valued legal counsel is what is the maximum fine & detainment period that could be levied upon me by boulder campus police?...if the arresting office is a muy caliente latina yoga chica con pelo negro y ojos grande should i palm her azz or not while in custody/handcuffs or is that not recommended?...is stormin' the field a misdemeanor or a felony?...what is the best fashion choice for maximum tv exposure, purple or fuschia?

yeah pretty sure jim knowlton not gonna bail my broken down sorry azz out of jail & if you would charge me your indigent client rate that would be appreciated, amigo





I hope that Father Time has not made you lose a step and that you still jump around like a dumb azz...
I would have pulled a hammy for sure.
~Spectemur agendo~
bearister
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I could never be co counsel with Vandalus. He is too quick for me.

How is your sprinting hobby going? Did you see my post about Muncie running a 4.55 40 in 1984 at 260 pounds in sweats, tennis shoes, on bad grass and after just putting his cigarette out?
Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection
Send my credentials to the House of Detention
I got some friends inside
XXXBEAR
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bearsandgiants said:

I admire the effort and love to see tweets like this. But the overwhelming consensus on this board less than one week ago was that our team was doomed, exclusively because the o-line was terrible, had no depth, no coaching, and has been in shambles for decades.

Ott has two long runs and one amazing td run (where he literally dragged half of this suddlenly-amazing o-line with him) and everything is fine? I do hope a couple position adjustments and little motivation was all it took to go from armageddon to the promised land, but I'm just looking forward to continued growth this weekend.
The OLine was flat out good last week. The coaches made position changes and inserted new personnel. No sacks, 276 yards for Ott. And Ott didn't drag the O line they were pushing him.

Give credit where credit is due.
philbert
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XXXBEAR said:

bearsandgiants said:

I admire the effort and love to see tweets like this. But the overwhelming consensus on this board less than one week ago was that our team was doomed, exclusively because the o-line was terrible, had no depth, no coaching, and has been in shambles for decades.

Ott has two long runs and one amazing td run (where he literally dragged half of this suddlenly-amazing o-line with him) and everything is fine? I do hope a couple position adjustments and little motivation was all it took to go from armageddon to the promised land, but I'm just looking forward to continued growth this weekend.
The OLine was flat out good last week. The coaches made position changes and inserted new personnel. No sacks, 276 yards for Ott. And Ott didn't drag the O line they were pushing him.

Give credit where credit is due.
Yeah. I thought one of the OL (Vatikani?) pulled Ott forward when his progress got stopped by the crowd. It propelled him out of the crowd so he could score.
Shocky1
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philbert, you made it out of lansing after all that happened?...after the impact statements, after the castle?

reality is that cal's monster class & cal's monster class deux (which totaled 5,000,000+ views back in the day) are blocked right now, only greg richardson can unblock them...no longer got any issues with greg, yesterday is no longer leaking thru the roof, we both bleed blue & gold and hopefully we'll get to chat at a football game this fall...we are stronger together in our mutual passion than further afar

the much bigger issue is that right now mark fox got the oldest coaching staff in college basketball, his 4 person staff (including him) is 200 years old...recruiting is best not done by old white guys (and that's why marshall is the lead contact on all quarterback recruiting in conjunction with billy m), today's recruiting environment requires 24/7/365 contact during the ncca permissible recruiting windows so you gotta be able to talk to young guys & build meaningful relationships



watching the football pregame warm ups last saturday fox & his staff were on the field near the arizona bench with a very skinny 6'8" black high school prospect & his moms...can the prospect trust/relate to this staff & wanna be developed both mentally & physically in berkeley?...will moms be on board too?...rooting for that to happen but based upon the top player each of the last 2 seasons departing with eligibility remaining is not a good sign...the new recruiting world for both basketball & football requires coaches to be likable, otherwise the portal is gonna be well traveled

i respect mark fox's emphasis upon academic achievement for his players, the #1 ranked university in the world should never be all about winning at any cost...and joel brown (thx randy for making the intro) told me that mark worked with him on his shooting techniques this summer, it's concerning there are guys on the team that don't stick around all summer as that was the norm during the coach montgomery & coach martin eras of excellence

but fox's stubbornness in adapting needs improvement, he could've hired theo robertson or another young black 20's assistant coach for his 1st staff...instead he wasted $200,000+ of valuable basketball salary dollars to hire his old friend trent johnson as the non recruiting director of basketball operations who was not only old as **** but also disliked by the majority of the players, he didn't "mentor" nobody

and the even bigger issue is that jim knowlton don't have a clue re: how college basketball recruiting works & the impact of a staff that is 200 years old...jim is likable & hard working but he never had to deal with these issues at air force where the recruiting process is quite different

jim strongly treasures his empire of 30+ sports & almost 1000 student athletes that is unfortunately not financially sustainable in these challenging times with lawsuits, conference instability, probable declining future media rights revenues, and an aging season tix/donor fan base that has not been replenished by newer/young fans via vehicles such as cal's monster class which targeted readers under 25 years of age & those who didn't attend cal or college in addition to mcdonald all americans (jaylen brown, ivan rabb, jabari bird & marcus lee have all told me they read cal's monster class while in high school)

jim is adamantly not gonna cut sports in compliance with title ix, instead he's spent more money on bureaucrats like the diversity professor (every cal coach should be a diversity leader, hiring somebody for a couple of hundred thousand dollars is wasting precious dollars) & hired a marketing/communications director that's never worked on the west coast or worked for an organization that sells football tixs, markeisha don't got any viable plans for targeting the oakland raiders fanbase for football sales or the golden state warriors fanbase for basketball sales...she oversees a communication department of 10 employees when this could easily be reduced to 2 employees with coaches (other than football & basketball) writing their own stories re: their teams that are basically read by nobody except their own families...in a conference call earlier this year with cfo tom lowry he told me that jim wants those playing olympic sports to have the "same media experience" as those on the football team...lowry also told me that with respects to my specific financial questions that "nothing is off the table" & that borrowing money from the internal campus is a possibility when it's clear there's gonna be no way to access funds in the future to pay back this debt/financial liability obligation

and the decision to extend mark fox's contract from 2024 to 2025 despite the fact there's literally no college in the nation seeking his services is beyond mind boggling & reflects the well intended but financial mismanagement path towards bankruptcy which will coincide with knowlton's 2029 retirement (cfo lowry will also be retired by then too)

jaylen brown told me he tried to tell knowlton re: the importance of a black father figure from a coaching /mentoring perspective at a football game last season but that he didn't think jim really understood his message

there are no evil people in the athletic department except mckeever & her enabler simon (who will cost the department millions in lawsuits from suicidal swimmers & their families at a time they are trying to fundraise from donors) who knowlton remarkably delegates half of the department's responsibilities despite the fact she is corrupt as **** & the majority of her women's teams got losing records (not than the average fan really cares)...it should be noted that when i attended every home & road basketball game back in the day that there were numerous coaches who straight up knew that the women's swimmers were being abused by mckeever & that she was protected by simon, the department's legal defense strategy of "not knowing" is not gonna fly

so there's a lot to unpack philbert but i still love cal basketball despite not setting foot in haas since in almost 6 years...ivan rabb has told me he would love to sit on the floor with me to watch his dragons this season, maybe matthew hornerkamp will call me & make this happen (wouldn't it make sense to stay in touch with former floor seat donors & also recognize young ivee during the game?)

so the answer to your original question is i dunno...back in the day i believed in the infinite possibilities for cal basketball's future so i could probably do it again...there's a palpable magic to cal basketball when you walk thru the front doors of your palace, the band is raucously playing, the cheap azz butter on the popcorn is an odor unto itself & the basketballs bouncing on the floor reverberate thru your wildest dreams

life is not linear#

Shocky1
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89Bear said:

Shocky1 said:

what up vandy, you file any class action lawsuits this week for those seriously injured by coffee machines or trampolines?...bearister would probably be a terrific co counsel but rumor has it that he's defending the guilty as **** paul & rueben flores right now

we had fun back in the day sitting courtside at haas, remember how we almost did the hang with prez clinton along with his security detail & cfm heeled headphanie's after the arkansas nit game?

anyways, need your help...my other daughter (not my basketball buddy taylor) shay (who is very argumentative unlike her sister) just started her 1st year classs at denver law (she lied on the entrance application that she don't got a crazy as **** dad) so we gonna go to matsuhisa cherry creek (the nobu malibu of denver) the nite before the game on october 15th in boulder

my plan when cal's monster offensive line knocks the buffs defenders on their azzs & jaydn ott takes it at least 50+ yards for a touchdown is to storm folsom field & do the haka celebration with my fellow poly bad azz sioape, so my question to you as my valued legal counsel is what is the maximum fine & detainment period that could be levied upon me by boulder campus police?...if the arresting office is a muy caliente latina yoga chica con pelo negro y ojos grande should i palm her azz or not while in custody/handcuffs or is that not recommended?...is stormin' the field a misdemeanor or a felony?...what is the best fashion choice for maximum tv exposure, purple or fuschia?

yeah pretty sure jim knowlton not gonna bail my broken down sorry azz out of jail & if you would charge me your indigent client rate that would be appreciated, amigo





I hope that Father Time has not made you lose a step and that you still jump around like a dumb azz...
if you watch the video closely, you will see that my 2 inch vertical jump (which rivals lars) is kinda like an angry seagull with purple feathers flapping his wings at fisherman's wharf, taylor tells me that if i flapped my arms any faster i probably could've flied or something
bearister
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When I was growing up, my 4 favorite actors were all born in 1930. Only 1 left:

Clint Eastwood
Richard Harris
Steve McQueen
Sean Connery
Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection
Send my credentials to the House of Detention
I got some friends inside
Shocky1
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bearister, the longtime sommelier at augusta national told me that the only person to ever turn down an invitation to join the club was sean connery, 007 said he could play almost whenever he wanted with friends that already belong so why pay for a membership?



eastcoastcal
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shOTTa flow
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