cal's monster offensive line

1,999,630 Views | 11827 Replies | Last: 1 min ago by Shocky1
bearister
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Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection
Send my credentials to the House of Detention
I got some friends inside
SBGold
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I'm with ya Shocky. Fuchsia is a classy choice
Big C
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Shocky1 said:

philbert, you made it out of lansing after all that happened?...after the impact statements, after the castle?

reality is that cal's monster class & cal's monster class deux (which totaled 5,000,000+ views back in the day) are blocked right now, only greg richardson can unblock them...no longer got any issues with greg, yesterday is no longer leaking thru the roof, we both bleed blue & gold and hopefully we'll get to chat at a football game this fall...we are stronger together in our mutual passion than further afar

the much bigger issue is that right now mark fox got the oldest coaching staff in college basketball, his 4 person staff (including him) is 200 years old...recruiting is best not done by old white guys (and that's why marshall is the lead contact on all quarterback recruiting in conjunction with billy m), today's recruiting environment requires 24/7/365 contact during the ncca permissible recruiting windows so you gotta be able to talk to young guys & build meaningful relationships



watching the football pregame warm ups last saturday fox & his staff were on the field near the arizona bench with a very skinny 6'8" black high school prospect & his moms...can the prospect trust/relate to this staff & wanna be developed both mentally & physically in berkeley?...will moms be on board too?...rooting for that to happen but based upon the top player each of the last 2 seasons departing with eligibility remaining is not a good sign...the new recruiting world for both basketball & football requires coaches to be likable, otherwise the portal is gonna be well traveled

i respect mark fox's emphasis upon academic achievement for his players, the #1 ranked university in the world should never be all about winning at any cost...and joel brown (thx randy for making the intro) told me that mark worked with him on his shooting techniques this summer, it's concerning there are guys on the team that don't stick around all summer as that was the norm during the coach montgomery & coach martin eras of excellence

but fox's stubbornness in adapting needs improvement, he could've hired theo robertson or another young black 20's assistant coach for his 1st staff...instead he wasted $200,000+ of valuable basketball salary dollars to hire his old friend trent johnson as the non recruiting director of basketball operations who was not only old as **** but also disliked by the majority of the players, he didn't "mentor" nobody

and the even bigger issue is that jim knowlton don't have a clue re: how college basketball recruiting works & the impact of a staff that is 200 years old...jim is likable & hard working but he never had to deal with these issues at air force where the recruiting process is quite different

jim believes strongly in his empire of 30+ sports & almost 1000 student athletes that is unfortunately not financially sustainable in these challenging times with lawsuits, conference instability, probable declining future media rights revenues, and an aging season tix/donor fan base that has not been replenished by newer/young fans via vehicles such as cal's monster class which targeted readers under 25 years of age & those who didn't attend cal or college in addition to mcdonald all americans (jaylen brown, ivan rabb, jabari bird & marcus lee have all told me they read cal's monster class while in high school)

jim is adamantly not gonna cut sports in compliance with title ix, instead he's spent more money on bureaucrats like the diversity professor (every cal coach should be a diversity leader, hiring somebody for a couple of hundred thousand dollars is wasting precious dollars) & hired a marketing/communications director that's never worked on the west coast or worked for an organization that sells football tixs, markeisha don't got any viable plans for targeting the oakland raiders fanbase for football sales or the golden state warriors fanbase for basketball sales...she oversees a communication department of 10 employees when this could easily be reduced to 2 employees with coaches (other than football & basketball) writing their own stories re: their teams that are basically read by nobody except their own families...in a conference call earlier this year with cfo tom lowry he told me that jim wants those playing olympic sports to have the "same media experience" as those on the football team...lowry also told me that with respects to my specific financial questions that "nothing if off the table" & that borrowing money from the internal campus is a possibility when it's clear there's gonna be no way to access funds in the future to pay back this debt/financial liability obligation

and the decision to extend mark fox's contract from 2024 to 2025 despite the fact there's literally no college in the nation seeking his services is beyond mind boggling & reflects the well intended but financial mismanagement path towards bankruptcy which will coincide with knowlton's 2029 retirement (cfo lowry will also be retired by then too)

jaylen brown told me he tried to tell knowlton re: the importance of a black father figure from a coaching /mentoring perspective at a football game last season but that he didn't think jim really understood his message

there are no evil people in the athletic department except mckeever & her enabler simon (who will cost the department millions in lawsuits from suicidal swimmers & their families at a time they are trying to fundraise from donors) who knowlton remarkably delegates half of the department's responsibilities despite the fact she is corrupt as **** & the majority of her women's teams got losing records (not than the average fan really cares)...it should be noted that when i attended every home & road basketball game back in the day that there were numerous coaches who straight up knew that the women's swimmers were being abused by mckeever & that she was protected by simon, the department's legal defense strategy of "not knowing" is not gonna fly

so there's a lot to unpack philbert but i still love cal basketball despite not setting foot in haas since in almost 6 years...ivan rabb has told me he would love to sit on the floor with me to watch his dragons this season, maybe matthew hornerkamp will call me & make this happen (wouldn't it make sense to stay in touch with former floor seat donors & also recognize young ivee during the game?)

so the answer to your original question is i dunno...back in the day i believed in the infinite possibilities for cal basketball's future so i could probably do it again...there's a palpable magic to cal basketball when you walk thru the front doors of your palace, the band is raucously playing, the cheap azz butter on the popcorn is an odor unto itself & the basketballs bouncing on the floor reverberate thru your wildest dreams

life is not linear#



What a great post, shocky! My theory is that there needs to be somebody at Cal on the organizational chart between the Athletic Director and the Chancellor that can hire, supervise and guide an effective AD. There has often been -- and probably is now -- such a person in that position, but I mean somebody good, who fully understands the importance of athletics and the role of AD. I just don't think it's reasonable at "Berkeley" that the Chancellor has this skill set. Carol Christ has been the most athletics-friendly Chancellor in modern times (last half century?), but she has too much other stuff on her plate (as she should, at the #1 ranked public university in the world) to be directly supervising the AD and to know when the AD isn't getting it done.

I hope to "see" you back around here for a couple of decades. Go Bears!
Shocky1
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luv you big c but really don't think the financially bloated bureaucracy within the athletic department is gonna be more efficient with another layer of organizational build out

100% agreed that chancellor christ has been fantastically supportive of the athletic department but unfortunately her time in berkeley is limited, you can be assured that the next chancellor won't be as supportive of the financial cliff knowlton is heading the department towards with his 30+ teams & an overreaction to the detriment of the revenue sports of football & basketball is certainly a realistic possibility

the summer of love is destined to end at some point, are we gonna be prepared for that day?

Shocky1
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fun ncca 2022 season trivia question, who is the 2nd leading punter in the united states of america & its territories such as the canary islands & so forth?

answer: jamieson sheahan, alright me 'ol cobbler is teaching the monster how to become fluent in australian or something kinda like how my favorite hooper joel brown is teaching yoga boy canadian, got it?
https://www.ncaa.com/stats/football/fbs/current/individual/17

and guess what, ethan baxter from further afar oz is already on campus (and impressing coach barton with his athleticism & leg strength) & will be earning the punter scholly this upcoming january





the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world (including down under which is also shocky's favorite yoga pose after downward dog)


Big C
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Shocky1 said:

luv you big c but really don't think the financially bloated bureaucracy within the athletic department is gonna be more efficient with another layer of organizational build out

100% agreed that chancellor christ has been fantastically supportive of the athletic department but unfortunately her time in berkeley is limited, you can be assured that the next chancellor won't be as supportive of the financial cliff knowlton is heading the department towards with his 30+ teams & an overreaction to the detriment of the revenue sports of football & basketball is certainly a realistic possibility


So we're flat-out screwed? You wouldn't be here if you believed that.

One of the Vice Chancellors needs to have expertise in this area. Not a part of Athletics. Somebody who can at least identify and hire a good AD. Whoever was instrumental in Knowlton's hiring "hired by resume", kind of like when Knowlton hired Fox.
Shocky1
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big c, jim knowlton has been contractually extended thru his retirement date in 2029, he's not going anywhere & there is zero chance or money to buy him out before then

likewise there is no money to buy out mark fox before his recently extended contract expires in 2025

the hope is that both of them will be more adaptive to the changing times & make decisions on a go forward basis
that move forward the athletic department & the basketball program

coach wilcox's willingness to embrace change since last season's abysmal 5-7 has been almost a 360 degree turnaround particularly with respects to playing the younger/faster/stronger talent on offense rather than the slow as **** veterans & transitioning key recruiting responsibilities to those under 30 years old

people can change, some people never gonna change



Big C
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Shocky, I understand about the contracts of Knowlton (2029) and Fox (2025), but I can't believe they are as ironclad as you suggest. If the two of them end up living down to expectations, something will happen. ("For cause" in l'Affaire McKeever? Well, something...)

2029? I wasn't a math major, but Isn't that like 50 years from now? Life in 2029 will be almost unrecognizable to people living today. Heck, they may have even broken ground on a basketball practice facility by 2029. Er, wait, that's 2039, but you get my point!
Shocky1
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cal's monster offensive line update:

the bye week after this saturday's game is coming at exactly the right time, this small break is not gonna be a vacay but it is gonna allow coach mcclure & mikey to regroup & get the closely bonded o-line room of brahs more healthy while figuring out their next moves

against arizona ben, brian, cindo & sioape took all 70 snaps while tj took 47 snaps & brayden took 23 snaps at right tackle...nobody else played, that's 6 guys heading into the washington state battle in the palouse

and the first guys off the bench bastian swinney & spencer lovell are not available this weekend, ay caramba...that means either we burn jackson brown's blueshirt season or play still developing everett johnson if we need a 7th lineman

but not gonna lie, i absolutely love & respect all of these guys, they are special true student athletes whether or not they ever build a big azz mansion in the hamptons or not, now nobody more triller than this





your diamonds don't dance like this#
Shocky1
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cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world
Shocky1
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fun california golden bears golden bears trivia question with the winner receiving 1,000,000 iranian rial to the first 1st contest respondee who can name all the polys in the following sequence: 3 bears standing back row left to right then sitting 6 bears sitting front row left to right



contest rules: all winners must be at least 9 years old & be able to growl like a bear and live in the united states and its territories such as the canary islands and so forth...winner will be responsible for all tax reporting issues and implications regardless of their nationality...members of the football staff & their families are not eligible unless they give the shockster pre game field passes...all rules & decisions may be capriciously changed without prior notification by the monster



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world (including samoa, tonga, tuvalu, vanuatu, new zealand & solomon islands)
Econ141
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Shocky1 said:



jim strongly treasures his empire of 30+ sports & almost 1000 student athletes that is unfortunately not financially sustainable in these challenging times with lawsuits, conference instability, probable declining future media rights revenues, and an aging season tix/donor fan base that has not been replenished by newer/young fans via vehicles such as cal's monster class

jim is adamantly not gonna cut sports in compliance with title ix, instead he's spent more money on bureaucrats like the diversity professor (every cal coach should be a diversity leader, hiring somebody for a couple of hundred thousand dollars is wasting precious dollars) & hired a marketing/communications director that's never worked on the west coast or worked for an organization that sells football tixs, markeisha don't got any viable plans for targeting the oakland raiders fanbase for football sales or the golden state warriors fanbase for basketball sales...she oversees a communication department of 10 employees when this could easily be reduced to 2 employees with coaches (other than football & basketball) writing their own stories re: their teams that are basically read by nobody except their own families...in a conference call earlier this year with cfo tom lowry he told me that jim wants those playing olympic sports to have the "same media experience" as those on the football team...lowry also told me that with respects to my specific financial questions that "nothing is off the table" & that borrowing money from the internal campus is a possibility when it's clear there's gonna be no way to access funds in the future to pay back this debt/financial liability obligation

and the decision to extend mark fox's contract from 2024 to 2025 despite the fact there's literally no college in the nation seeking his services is beyond mind boggling & reflects the well intended but financial mismanagement path towards bankruptcy which will coincide with knowlton's 2029 retirement (cfo lowry will also be retired by then too)

there are no evil people in the athletic department except mckeever & her enabler simon (who will cost the department millions in lawsuits from suicidal swimmers & their families at a time they are trying to fundraise from donors) who knowlton remarkably delegates half of the department's responsibilities despite the fact she is corrupt as **** & the majority of her women's teams got losing records (not than the average fan really cares)...it should be noted that when i attended every home & road basketball game back in the day that there were numerous coaches who straight up knew that the women's swimmers were being abused by mckeever & that she was protected by simon, the department's legal defense strategy of "not knowing" is not ...

so the answer to your original question is i dunno...back in the day i believed in the infinite possibilities for cal basketball's future so i could probably do it again...there's a palpable magic to cal basketball when you walk thru the front doors of your palace, the band is raucously playing, the cheap azz butter on the popcorn is an odor unto itself & the basketballs bouncing on the floor reverberate thru your wildest dreams

life is not linear#




This is all super depressing and confirms my worst nightmares about Knowlton. Why am I bothering to stay so emotionally invested in cal football and basketball?!? Sheesh - seems like we are doomed unless the B1G charitably saves us (not sure why they would at this point).
Shocky1
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kinda worried about u fat slice, maybe u should start every morning with a 32 oz green drink & yoga followed by a hike up the mountains with them forgotten rescue doggies followed by a team nap?

all is not doomed, cal's monster offensive line is gonna rocket the trajectory of the cal football program to ur wildest dreams/revenues (which will save knowlton notes from his financial mismanagement), coach wilcox got a cape in his office closet (hopefully mikey hasn't peed on it, he's a bad boy, go outside mikey)

u probably also need some late nite wild azz time with a curvy brunette yoga female against the bear statue in front of memorial stadium or hypothetically in the evans field dugout after a bears basketball game too...my boy fernando mendoza (has already jumped his way to 3rd on billy m's qb depth chart) from biscayne bay (where the cuban gentlemen sleep all day) knows what ima talkin about, his wingman michael luckhurst just can't believe this ****



first day out (on 10 paws we stood tall)#



Shocky1
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congrats to jim knowlton on hiring a dance/cheer coach

arelia got good hair & gotta lotta energy but she would benefit from the shockster's daily beauty regime (that's the benefit of 2 daughters) of latissse...kinda wonder if her fam calls her the little mermaid?

https://instagr.am/p/CVT7XnwvFtr
welcome arelia

release the energy (including the talented bearetts)#

harebear
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Shocky1
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hare, not sure who is this "we" & what's your definition of "classy"?

do u got know any of the guys on the team or what they talk about?

ethnocentrism#
Shocky1
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max homa update:



other than stephanie curry, who else starts celebrating with crazy azz fist bumps while knocking down long range bombs with their back to the hole/basket not seeing the shot actually go down?

max is now ranked #16 in the world, president's cup teammate colin morikawa (plays out of the summit club, a high end fazio design near summerlin nevada, who is building a house next door & will be marrying his longtime girlfriend katherine zhu later this year) is #9 in the world

homa lives in north scottsdale near me but just bought a home closer to town in the arcadia area (my mid 20s son just bought a home in the arcadia lite area with no financial support from his dad)...his wife lacey (a real estate broker) is expecting their 1st baby next month & is gonna make sure max still takes the short bus to whisper rock every morning

did max ever read cal's monster class?

in the 1st minute of this fun podcast he says "dumb azz"
https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cub21ueWNvbnRlbnQuY29tL2QvcGxheWxpc3QvZTczYzk5OGUtNmU2MC00MzJmLTg2MTAtYWUyMTAxNDBjNWIxLzcwYjYxMDk5LTkwMjUtNGNjMC1iMGQyLWFlMzAwMTg4ZDMzOC81ZDcwYWY3Zi0zZWM3LTQwYWUtOTBkZi1hZTMwMDE4OGQzNTkvcG9kY2FzdC5yc3M/episode/ZGFhMTRjNTgtOWIyZS00ZjM1LWE5OTUtYWYxZTAwNzQxNDM1?hl=en&ved=2ahUKEwiC_uuG5rr6AhUpL0QIHeryAdkQjrkEegQIAxAF&ep=6
Econ141
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Shocky1 said:


kinda worried about u fat slice, maybe u should start every morning with a 32 oz green drink & yoga followed by a hike up the mountains with them forgotten rescue doggies followed by a team nap?

all is not doomed, cal's monster offensive line is gonna rocket the trajectory of the cal football program to ur wildest dreams/revenues (which will save knowlton notes from his financial mismanagement), coach wilcox got a cape in his office closet (hopefully mikey hasn't peed on it, he's a bad boy, go outside mikey)

u probably also need some late nite wild azz public sex with a curvy brunette yoga female against the bear statue in front of memorial stadium or hypothetically in the evans field dugout after a bears basketball game too...my boy fernando mendoza (has already jumped his way to 3rd on billy m's qb depth chart) from biscayne bay (where the cuban gentlemen sleep all day) knows what ima talkin about, his wingman michael luckhurst just can't believe this ****



first day out (on 10 paws we stood tall)#






This is an intense regimen you prescribe. I will give it a shot but let me run it by the wife first.
89Bear
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Shocky1 said:


max homa update:



other than stephanie curry, who else starts celebrating with crazy azz fist bumps while knocking down long range bombs with their back to the hole/basket not seeing the shot actually go down?

max is now ranked #16 in the world, president's cup teammate colin morikawa (plays out of the summit club, a high end fazio design near summerlin nevada, who is building a house next door & will be marrying his longtime girlfriend katherine zhu later this year) is #9 in the world

homa lives in north scottsdale near me but just bought a home closer to town in the arcadia area (my mid 20s son just bought a home in the arcadia lite area with no financial support from his dad)...his wife lacey (a real estate broker) is expecting their 1st baby next month & is gonna make sure max still takes the short bus to whisper rock every morning

did max ever read cal's monster class?

in the 1st minute of this fun podcast he says "dumb azz"
https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cub21ueWNvbnRlbnQuY29tL2QvcGxheWxpc3QvZTczYzk5OGUtNmU2MC00MzJmLTg2MTAtYWUyMTAxNDBjNWIxLzcwYjYxMDk5LTkwMjUtNGNjMC1iMGQyLWFlMzAwMTg4ZDMzOC81ZDcwYWY3Zi0zZWM3LTQwYWUtOTBkZi1hZTMwMDE4OGQzNTkvcG9kY2FzdC5yc3M/episode/ZGFhMTRjNTgtOWIyZS00ZjM1LWE5OTUtYWYxZTAwNzQxNDM1?hl=en&ved=2ahUKEwiC_uuG5rr6AhUpL0QIHeryAdkQjrkEegQIAxAF&ep=6

When is the Monster Class Offensive Line teeing it up????
Want some video of that!!
Jeff82
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Shocky, PGA Tour edited that video to make it look like he started celebrating right after he hit the putt. If you look at the full unedited sequence, he probably started to react when the ball was maybe a foot from the hole.
Shocky1
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fat_slice said:



This is an intense regimen you prescribe. I will give it a shot but let me run it by the wife first.
yeah, good point fat slice, shocky didn't really think all these recommendations all the way thru, sorry about that



the monster is nocturnal (nite baseball in the evans field dugout is more fun than day baseball on the field)#
Shocky1
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Jeff82 said:

Shocky, PGA Tour edited that video to make it look like he started celebrating right after he hit the putt. If you look at the full unedited sequence, he probably started to react when the ball was maybe a foot from the hole.
jeff, with your keen observational skills & remarkable baker street irregulars sleuthing skills i would believe in you if you told me you were the special agent in charge of the fbi's nationwide serial killer fugitive task force that still hasn't arrested anybody for the north bay zodiac killer murders

on the other hand if you look carefully at the creator of this video, it's "pga toru" which is a parody account of the "pga tour"

kinda think something got lost in translation here, you can't be with everyone that you love even if she's your yoga teacher

Shocky1
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89Bear said:



When is the Monster Class Offensive Line teeing it up????
Want some video of that!!



89, didn't you get the invitation that i sent to your p.o., are they still screening your mail at the big house?...i called on your birthday but was only off by ten days, do i get points for tryna?

anyways we had the 1st annual "don't be a dumb azz" cal golf tournament on august 32nd at kyoto country club, we played under scorpio skies with chem trails but the real highlight was chef nobu's tasty japanese a5 waygu nigiri served with ponzu sauce, wild mushroom miso soup & chilean sea bass with black bean

among the many bears taking the bullet train from toyko to kyoto for the day included:

colin morikawa: #9 ranked player in the world, next pga tournament will be in chiba japan october 13-16th

max homa: #16 ranked player in the world, next pga tournament will be in las vegas october 6-9th

james hahn: the cheap azz (cuts his own hair, sometimes hires local caddies for pga tournaments) has moved from north scottsdale to texas, good luck practicing this winter

michael kim: returning to the pga tour after a year on the korn ferry tour with a new flighted ball trajectory that travels right to left which has added much needed additional yardage off the tee

byeong hun an: also returning to the pga tour after a year on the korn ferry tour including a tournament victory

brandon hagy: lost his pga tour card this year due to a steady deterioration of his short game particularly his chipping which coincided with his family moving from north scottsdale (playing out of whisper rock) with its optimal year round practicing climate/facilities to extreme weather charlotte...brandon was #2 on the tour in club head speed last year but this move could derail his career

coach chun couldn't make it cuz he's busy successfully recruiting the #1 player in the 2023 class eric lee of fullerton whose gonna sign in november & lead the cal golf program to another national championship which is the 2004 legacy of coach desimone...yeah walter wasn't wasting time & money either by grandstanding on the notre dame sidelines either

yeah i wanted to see the world thru des eyes

day off in kyoto (and barked like a dog/meowed like a cat on the yoga mat, talking is for losers)#
Shocky1
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gilbert, arizona=california golden bears quarterback breeding/pipeline territory

gilbert is a flat azz former agriculture town that is now considered the most upscale (upper middle class) community in the east valley in the same way north scottsdale is considered the yoga/golf capital of north america including its territories such as ibiza and so forth...it's 69 square miles on a good nite & gotta lotta mormons along with academically proficient schools

spencer brasch: graduated in 2019 from gilbert's higley high school, kai milner's dad dwayne (former nfl scout, now works as a trainer/skills coach) told me pregame at the tucson game last season that he recommended the 3.8 gpa 6'4" spencer to beau baldwin who then extended an actionable offer to brasch...he started last season for beau's cal poly mustangs & threw for 1,725 yards & 10 touchdown but lost his starting job this fall to a more mobile qb...the anthropology major got 3 years of remaining eligibility

kai milner: passed for 4,564 yards at higley high school including a cool azz blind backwards flip pass over the shoulder into the end zone, the bears #2 quarterback (still got 4 seasons of eligibility) according to his dad dumped his girlfriend so he could 100% focus upon developing his football skills while pursuing his mentally unlimited quest to seek admission into the spieker biz ad school, yeah the 6'2" 3.9 gpa true student athlete got academic ambition...kai worked with special needs kids in high school but most importantly he got great hair

jack plummer: the 6'5" gilbert high school product graduated from purdue's krannert school of management with a cumulative 3.87 gpa, he is not a dumb azz...earned all big 10 academic honors 2019-2021...jack don't got good hair with his clark kent haircut but he's gonna continue his upward trajectory behind cal's monster offensive line...his bro will started 7 games last season for them arizona wildcats & entering the portal after this season is not out of the question, yeah tuscon is a dump.

cj tiller: the 4.17 gpa williams field high school (gilbert) transferred to rancho cucamonga for his senior season due to his dad's flourishing custom home designer biz...the 6'2" foxy moxy improvisational innovator on the fly & current boise state commit has known kai since 6th grade & the plummer family for a while...like kai & jack, cj works with the quarterback whisperer mike giovando from the elev8 quarterback academy in arizona which is emerging as the clearcut top recruiting region for qbs in the nation...will tiller take an official visit to berkeley to do the hang with marshall & billy m this fall?...the staff will have a much better understanding of this recruitment after the tillers official visit to the blue carpet this weekend to check out the fired offense coordinator's wake & all world freshman qb +1 athlete 6'6" taylen green who is the next kap...keep in mind cj's gonna be a collegiate early enrollee after his high school season



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world (including maricopa county)
SpecSlayer
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I feel like I'm Marshawn Lynch in 2006
Shocky1
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spec, that's good to hear, there's an avis rental rule that if you smoke in the car they gonna charge your credit card 500 bucks for fumigating it upon its return...larry, my avis preferred concierge at the oakland airport, told me that when marshawn comes to oaktown that he tells larry when picking up his vehicle to go ahead & charge the 500 bucks immediately



beware: the new colored fentanyl pills look like skittles#
Shocky1
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the 2:30 pm kick off time for tomorrow's washington state road game is very favorable for the program for the following 6 reasons:

1) afternoon temperatures will be significantly warmer than night time temperatures in the freezing azz palouse, that's kinda important for a bears roster constructed with a significant number of cali, texas & arizona natives

2) coug fans are legendary for their gameday intoxication & gameday noise despite relatively small numbers, they will not be as boozed up at 2:30 pm as they would be at 7:30 pm

3) team will fly in/out of lewiston airport in nearby idaho, chartered team flite should get guys home close to midnite in berkeley

4) shocky will be able to do an in & out day trip to the palouse unless he arrested on felony trespassing charges for stormin' the field at martin stadium & gets handcuffed along with being felt up by a muy caliente bonita chica policia (that last part is not gonna happen in white azz eastern washington) and then gotta call vandalus who ignores his call cuz he's on a celebratory postgame 7.3 km sprint from mt tam to stinson beach with some rando skinny azz track girl he met the night before at the kingfish

5) coach wilcox will be able to run home during halftime to his lakefront estate a couple doors down from the coeur d'alene resort to check his mail, feed his blue goldfish & get a couple extra hairpiece rugs that fit so snugly on his cranium...yeah justin don't got good hair, billy m got no hair, drunk people don't give a **** if they got hair

6) the fall late afternoon battle at martin stadium will ensure that local emergency medical rooms will be fully staffed when the smaller (but speedy) cougars defenders get the **** knocked out of them by cal's monster offensive line...when the speeding emt personnel ask them during concussion protocol how many fingers they be holding up, the poor cougs gonna answer with kinda trembling voices "71?"

yeah it's the sioape vatikani era of cal football, this **** is getting live



the summer of love in the palouse (tongue kiss somebody even if its ur dog, love is love)#
SBGold
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Shocky1 said:




the 2:30 pm kick off time for tomorrow's washington state road game is very favorable for the program for the following 6 reasons:

1) afternoon temperatures will be significantly warmer than night time temperatures in the freezing azz palouse, that's kinda important for a bears roster constructed with a significant number of cali, texas & arizona natives

2) coug fans are legendary for their gameday intoxication & gameday noise despite relatively small numbers, they will not be as boozed up at 2:30 pm as they would be at 7:30 pm

3) team will fly in/out of lewiston airport in nearby idaho, chartered team flite should get guys home close to midnite in berkeley

4) shocky will be able to do an in & out day trip to the palouse unless he arrested on felony trespassing charges for stormin' the field at martin stadium & gets handcuffed along with being felt up by a muy caliente bonita chica policia (that last part is not gonna happen in white azz eastern washington) and then gotta call vandalus who ignores his call cuz he's on a celebratory postgame 7.3 km sprint from mt tam to stinson beach with some rando skinny azz track girl he met the night before at the kingfish

5) coach wilcox will be able to run home during halftime to his lakefront estate a couple doors down from the coeur d'alene resort to check his mail, feed his blue goldfish & get a couple extra hairpiece rugs that fit so snugly on his cranium...yeah justin don't got good hair, billy m got no hair, drunk people don't give a **** if they got hair

6) the fall late afternoon battle at martin stadium will ensure that local emergency medical rooms will be fully staffed when the smaller (but speedy) cougars defenders get the **** knocked out of them by cal's monster offensive line...when the speeding emt personnel ask them during concussion protocol how many fingers they be holding up, the poor cougs gonna answer with kinda trembling voices "71?"

yeah it's the sioape vatikani era of cal football, this **** is getting live



the summer of love in the palouse (tongue kiss somebody even if its ur dog, love is love)#

so you're telling me Kingfish is a good hang?
Vandalus
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SBGold said:




so you're telling me Kingfish is a good hang?

Can confirm.
~Spectemur agendo~
bearister
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*They say 3 guys that refused to evacuate their barstools died during the move to Telegraph.
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calumnus
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Big C said:

Shocky1 said:

luv you big c but really don't think the financially bloated bureaucracy within the athletic department is gonna be more efficient with another layer of organizational build out

100% agreed that chancellor christ has been fantastically supportive of the athletic department but unfortunately her time in berkeley is limited, you can be assured that the next chancellor won't be as supportive of the financial cliff knowlton is heading the department towards with his 30+ teams & an overreaction to the detriment of the revenue sports of football & basketball is certainly a realistic possibility


So we're flat-out screwed? You wouldn't be here if you believed that.

One of the Vice Chancellors needs to have expertise in this area. Not a part of Athletics. Somebody who can at least identify and hire a good AD. Whoever was instrumental in Knowlton's hiring "hired by resume", kind of like when Knowlton hired Fox.


Knowlton did not even have a good resume. Career Army officer, only 3 years as a D1 AD and at Air Force?
Shocky1
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Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

I'm not sure why you think that my principled stance in operating 30+ sports teams is "financially not sustainable" and moving "the athletic department on the path towards financial bankruptcy," do you have any experience in analyzing financial statements or what?

Anyways, I'm reaching out to you with the exciting opportunity to be one of our $1,000,000 lead donors for my newly proposed women's Quidditch program.

Unlike Track & Basketball, our Quidditch program will be targeting the descendants (children & grandchildren) of the wealthiest families in the world to ensure White girls from privilege are given every opportunity for preferential academic admission into Berkeley. Our targeted recruiting base will be the primary benefactors of the Louvre and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Our senior women's administrator will be extensively traveling to Bel Air, Moscow, Monte Carlo, Lausanne and the Canary Islands to make sure this happens, she is highly effective in this role in working with highly appreciative high net worth White families.

In that there are not currently any Quidditch programs in North America, our Bears will be competing in the European Jet Set League. We will work towards cost savings and be responsible stewards of financial matters by asking the team at times to travel by commercial flights and occasionally lodging at only 3 star hotels that do not offer spa services.

To ensure Title IX compliance and access to equal facilities, I've communicated to Coach Wilcox that the football program will not be allowed to practice anymore on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Memorial Stadium because of time restraints which would unfairly hinder the Quidditch program. Furthermore, I've asked Markeisha to hire an 11th Communications Assistant Director to cover the Quidditch program to ensure they receive the same media experience as the football team. Would it not be unfair to Jules Von Fustenberg III to not receive the same interviews and media attention for her capturing the golden snitch against the St Moritz Trust Funding Oligopolists as Jaydn Ott rushing for 179 yards & 4 touchdowns vs the USC Trojans?

We will be realistic and not expect the Quidditch program to be competitive for at least a decade because of Covid 19 limitations. Also many of our student athletes have other important summertime athletic endeavor responsibilities including but not limited to the World Parasailing Championships in Maui, the South America Polo Cup in Buenos Aires and the Shinnecock/Maidstone Interclub Golf Matches.

Shocky, let's make this happen! Please let me know your thoughts and if you're already on board please find attached a stamped self addressed envelope for your generous donation of $1,000,000.

Go Bears!

Best regards,

James Arthur Knowlton, Athletic Director

Shocky1
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turn it up (max volume)#
89Bear
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Shocky1 said:




the 2:30 pm kick off time for tomorrow's washington state road game is very favorable for the program for the following 6 reasons:

1) afternoon temperatures will be significantly warmer than night time temperatures in the freezing azz palouse, that's kinda important for a bears roster constructed with a significant number of cali, texas & arizona natives

2) coug fans are legendary for their gameday intoxication & gameday noise despite relatively small numbers, they will not be as boozed up at 2:30 pm as they would be at 7:30 pm

3) team will fly in/out of lewiston airport in nearby idaho, chartered team flite should get guys home close to midnite in berkeley

4) shocky will be able to do an in & out day trip to the palouse unless he arrested on felony trespassing charges for stormin' the field at martin stadium & gets handcuffed along with being felt up by a muy caliente bonita chica policia (that last part is not gonna happen in white azz eastern washington) and then gotta call vandalus who ignores his call cuz he's on a celebratory postgame 7.3 km sprint from mt tam to stinson beach with some rando skinny azz track girl he met the night before at the kingfish

5) coach wilcox will be able to run home during halftime to his lakefront estate a couple doors down from the coeur d'alene resort to check his mail, feed his blue goldfish & get a couple extra hairpiece rugs that fit so snugly on his cranium...yeah justin don't got good hair, billy m got no hair, drunk people don't give a **** if they got hair

6) the fall late afternoon battle at martin stadium will ensure that local emergency medical rooms will be fully staffed when the smaller (but speedy) cougars defenders get the **** knocked out of them by cal's monster offensive line...when the speeding emt personnel ask them during concussion protocol how many fingers they be holding up, the poor cougs gonna answer with kinda trembling voices "71?"

yeah it's the sioape vatikani era of cal football, this **** is getting live



the summer of love in the palouse (tongue kiss somebody even if its ur dog, love is love)#


You will be an easy mark for security. Their eyes will fix on the lone person on the field wearing a pink shirt.
#freeshocky
bearister
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This thread needs to be retitled:

SHOCKY UNCHAINED!



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