cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 8:57p, 1/12/23
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

why all the tight end recruiting activity?

jermaine terry is checking out his nil opportunities, consummate team player elijah mojarrao is the most underrated tight end in the pac 12 & potentially the next jake tonges and ben marshall better be lifting weights/eating super clean with protein shakes & zero comfort food runs to shoneys

gotta be honest with you that during jermaine's 2 seasons i can't think of a single devastating block or remarkable reception & rumble run, the reality is that while he looks the part he's not a very good football player with elite athleticism

when terry showed up in berkeley during summer bridge his freshman year at 280+ lbs, the staff failed him by not demanding that he convert to the offensive line which would better suit his inability to play in space

really hoping jermaine gets a college degree from somewhere, there are too many uneducated young men in richmond that never even had the academic opportunities he's been given & now walked away from

the struggle that must be (the quick buck is usually a longterm ****)#
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In reply to WalterSobchak • 9:00p, 1/12/23
WalterSobchak said:
Omar Speights isnto the portal.
tampering from a sec school, he's gone & it's a huge loss to the beavers defense with 304 career tackles
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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:21p, 1/12/23
He looks great getting off the plane in a tank top. Kinda like one-time Niner Eli Harold. He was All-Airport.
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9:46p, 1/12/23
jt gonna look great holding a college degree

fingers crossed#
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10:02p, 1/12/23

jaylen, do you remember when u wuz in high school & reading cal's monster class that i tole u that kim k wuz gonna dump that crazy azz kayne?


and now u doing biz with yeezy, life is coming at u fast



cal is a dream school (diamonds are forever class)#
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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:53p, 1/12/23
From OSU?
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4:58a, 1/13/23
pitts, yeah hopefully oregon state
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Shocky1
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4:59a, 1/13/23

fire starkey#
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4:59a, 1/13/23
stanford 39 game starting left tackle walter rouse commits to nebraska
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9:10a, 1/13/23

fun fact: there is no "phoenix municipal golf course," this is filmed at max's club whisper rock in north scottsdale
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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:53a, 1/13/23
I thought that you once said that an OSU degree could only get you a job working at the local truck stop .
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10:26a, 1/13/23
pitts, wut the monster actually said wuz that an oregon degree will set u up in life to become the nite shift supervisor at the medford truck stop where u will eventually marry a lot lizard with cfm pumps until u eventually die a slow & painful death from untreatable stds

let's be real here, an oregon state degree is gonna set up jt nicely to become a sr bagger (hopefully he won't still got the dropsies when handling the merch) at the ralph's grocery store in coos bay but that's way the **** better than walking around richmond unedukated & without a college degree

rooting for jt to get this done, seriously

go beavs#
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:57a, 1/13/23
Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:58a, 1/13/23
Lol
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Econ141
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12:06p, 1/13/23
Speaking of monsters:



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SBGold
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In reply to Econ141 • 2:00p, 1/13/23
Econ141 said:
Speaking of monsters:



This is special, glad to see it
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5:45p, 1/13/23

henry ikahihifo to the transfer portal, he is leaving berkeley without a degree

coach so'oto will be tripping a portal transfer outside linebacker on an official visit this weekend
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6:11p, 1/13/23
https://www.tiktok.com/@dark.dye__/video/7172962012706770181
those that want academic standards significantly lowered to admit more football talent are probably not aware (or maybe don't care) that there is a direct correlation between gpas & successfully earning berkeley degrees

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world
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6:25p, 1/13/23
https://instagr.am/p/CFC5SjKAbs2
florida outside linebacker graduate transfer 6'1" 238 lbs david reese is officially visiting berkeley this weekend

david is not a dumb azz, he graduated with a 3.7 gpa from vero beach high school & 50+ offers before accepting the gators offer to stay in state...3 time all sec all academic team (2019-2021), reese got 2 years of remaining eligibility

but most importantly he got good hair

https://instagr.am/p/CEhVsAXgHo5
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including ibiza & the swamplands of florida)

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Shocky1
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9:17p, 1/13/23
welcome 5 california golden bears official visitors to the claremont this weekend:

david reese, outside linebacker, vero beach high school, 3.7 gpa
https://instagr.am/p/CkzMP7-r6y7
sam jackson, quarterback, naperville central high school, 3.1 gpa

kaylin moore, cornerback, oaks christian high school, 3.4 gpa

jt byrne, tight end, carmel high school, 3.75 gpa
https://instagr.am/p/CnFmI4pSbsW
madison beer, yoga/meditation coach, stinson beach high school, 3.5 gpa
https://instagr.am/p/BsRjKz8B3K9


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (always & forever)

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Econ141
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:35p, 1/13/23
Shocky1 said:
welcome 5 california golden bears official visitors to the claremont this weekend:

david reese, outside linebacker, vero beach high school, 3.7 gpa
https://instagr.am/p/CkzMP7-r6y7
sam jackson, quarterback, naperville central high school, 3.1 gpa

kaylin moore, cornerback, oaks christian high school, 3.4 gpa

jt byrne, tight end, carmel high school, 3.75 gpa
https://instagr.am/p/CnDbuOiPaiJ
madison beer, yoga/meditation coach, stinson beach high school, 3.5 gpa
https://instagr.am/p/BsRjKz8B3K9


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (always & forever)



This is great but honestly - what is the deal with zero o-line visitors? We have a whole monster thread about the o-line and yet, still no o-line?!? Seriously what is going on?
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Sebastabear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:32p, 1/13/23
Shocky1 said:
stanford 39 game starting left tackle walter rouse commits to nebraska
He was looking for some serious NIL money. Must have cost the Huskers a fortune. Good left tackles are expensive.
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wc22
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In reply to Sebastabear • 11:51p, 1/13/23
I feel the incentives for coaches that communicate with NILs aren't aligned enough to be... I'd use "efficient".. "prudent"? even "informed"?. NILs get price information from a group almost, and by NCAA ideally completely, isolated from these transactions. It seems ripe for booms and busts ("WE NEED A LEFT TACKLE AND HE IS IT").
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Shocky1
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7:32a, 1/14/23
what up wc22, kinda wondering if when u try to explain certain yoga poses to classmates if they give u confused quizzical looks or something?

would u plz share ur gpa with everybody?

thx u
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Shocky1
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In reply to Sebastabear • 7:48a, 1/14/23
Sebastabear said:
Shocky1 said:
stanford 39 game starting left tackle walter rouse commits to nebraska
He was looking for some serious NIL money. Must have cost the Huskers a fortune. Good left tackles are expensive.
sebastopol translation: we need everybody including econ & shocky (who is apparently still butt hurt over cal's monster class & currently seems to luv his rescue animal advocacy in maricopa county more than them california golden bears) to step up and get involved the california legends collective like marshawn

https://instagr.am/p/CkKQ_W1LZXm
https://calegends.com/
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Shocky1
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8:03a, 1/14/23

walter rouse translation: look, let's be ******* real here, i did not choose to live in 32% degree freezing azz cold weather at a piece of **** academic school (trust me, it's no cal, stanford or ivy league elite institution with a world class education/future career opportunities) because of the sad azz architecture in downtown lincoln, got it?...nobody ever confused lincoln nebraska with paris

don't tell nobody but my dreams r for sale to the highest bidder, ima kinda like a suss high end palo alto escort or something

https://instagr.am/p/CIJKxhuHNKX
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Tnish18
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11:43a, 1/14/23
Wow and just like that Rouse flipped to Oklahoma. Money talks
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Sebastabear
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In reply to Tnish18 • 11:52a, 1/14/23
Tnish18 said:
Wow and just like that Rouse flipped to Oklahoma. Money talks
Rouse was 100% going to the highest bidder. A Stanford alum to the bone. If any of you have a spare $1m lying around he'll be here before classes start on Tuesday.
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tequila4kapp
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In reply to Tnish18 • 11:52a, 1/14/23
Tnish18 said:
Wow and just like that Rouse flipped to Oklahoma. Money talks
No way! Surely he saw pictures of downtown Norman, OK and realized they have 9 hotels in a 2.5 block radius.

And let's not overlook the big question: Will Rouse still send those messages when Nebraska wins next year ?
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WalterSobchak
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11:54a, 1/14/23
It's interesting to me that these Stanford OL have been such hot commodities in the portal. Their OL has sucked ever since The Glove™ lost its juice.
Please give to Cal Legends at https://calegends.com/calegendsdonate/donate-football/ and encourage everyone you know who loves Cal sports to do it too.

To be in the Top 1% of all NIL collectives we only need around 10% of alumni to give $300 per year. Please help spread the word. "If we don't broaden this base we're dead." - Sebastabear

Thanks for reading my sig! Please consider copying or adapting it and using it on all of your posts too. Go Bears!
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WalterSobchak
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In reply to Tnish18 • 11:57a, 1/14/23
Tnish18 said:
Wow and just like that Rouse flipped to Oklahoma. Money talks
My apologies in advance, had to do it:

Please give to Cal Legends at https://calegends.com/calegendsdonate/donate-football/ and encourage everyone you know who loves Cal sports to do it too.

To be in the Top 1% of all NIL collectives we only need around 10% of alumni to give $300 per year. Please help spread the word. "If we don't broaden this base we're dead." - Sebastabear

Thanks for reading my sig! Please consider copying or adapting it and using it on all of your posts too. Go Bears!
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 1:42p, 1/14/23
Shocky1 said:
bearister, the shockster along with colin morikawa, max homa, james hahn, michael kim & byeong hun an (all 5 have earned their pga cards for next season) are not fans of the liv tour which is financed by the 9/11 bombers attack upon the united states of america

did you know that the #1 ranked player in the 2023 class eric lee from fullerton is gonna sign with coach walter this november?...yeah cal is a golf school that is gonna be competing for a national championship in the near future

the usa team was victorious last week at the president's cup in charlotte north carolina with key contributions by americans max homa & colin morikawa, the following is a loosely edited transcript of my conversations at around 6:30 pm in the locker room at quail hollow back in the day after my world rankings golf course evaluation which was arranged by fellow g2c2 (global golf centurion club, membership rules require the completion of at least 1 world top 100 golf magazine list, the shockster has played the last 17 world lists) member adam (who is a golf professional)

shocky: (standing at the sink trying to scrub the bunker sand outta his eyes from the 18th hole)

random dude: you ok?

shocky: your club's sand is terrific, same bright white silicone stuff as augusta, but it's a pain in the azz when it gets in your eyes, everything is kinda blurry or something

random dude: (who is tying a light blue tie with a glistening white starched shirt) sorry to hear that, are you the rater that's visiting today to see if we're a world top 100 golf course?...are we that good?

shocky: yeah, that's me, fun day today, your definitely a usa top 100 golf course...ima shocky (extending a fist bump)

random dude: nice to meet you, i'm roy...so how do you rate these world top 100 golf courses?...at my old job i used to get invited out to prairie dunes all the time

shocky: prairie dunes is an amazing links golfing experience, easily the best course in kansas and in my world top 25 rankings...hey, do you wanna join me and adam for a quick drink?

random dude: would love to talk about golf course architecture with you guys, that's my new hobby, but i got to go this work function at 7:00 pm

shocky: (thinking it's some boring azz corporate function with rubber chicken) can't you just show up late?

random dude: not really, i'm sort of the featured speaker

shocky: (feeling sorry for this guy) well, good luck then, at least you got to play golf this afternoon

random dude: yeah work is work, please tell adam to shoot me a text regarding when he can give me another lesson, thanks

adam: (as shocks walks over to him in the locker room) do you know who just insulted with your work thing stuff?

shocky: i dunno, somebody who wants a lesson with you?

adam: (shaking his head & laughing) guess what dumb azz, that's roy williams

shocky: (hustling back to the sink area) hey roy, didn't mean to hassle you

roy: (kinda laughing) that's ok, you would be a tenacious assistant coach with that attitude

shocky: well, now that you mention it, i'm the director of recruiting for the cal basketball program and the co author of cal's monster class with its several million views which is the most read thread in the history of college basketball...did you know we are currently in major battles with you for three mcdonald all americans?

roy: (with a kinda smirk and perhaps a glimpse of recognition) really, and what three prospects are you referring to?

shocky: ivan rabb, jaylen brown and caleb swanigan...i've branded these recruitments as cal's diamonds are forever class.. do you know anything about these guys or do you just delegate recruiting to your assistant coaches?

roy: (tight smile but perhaps with a bit of annoyance) do you got a minute or two?

shocky: sure

roy: ok, walk with me to valet then, i gotta speak across town in thirty minutes, this is just between us, ok?

and then as we walk thru the clubhouse to the valet area by the front door roy williams lectures me for 5 minutes non stop breaking down the skillsets of ivan rabb, jaylen brown and caleb swanigan

his detailed knowledge is mind boggling, he tells me that rabb (at that moment the #1 ranked player in the nation) is the most innate rebounder he's seen in years and very unselfish with the ball but that he's concerned about his unusual gait (note: ivan retired from the nba because of plantar fasciitis)...jaylen brown (ranked #5 in the class) is a future nba all star but will struggle in college with sharing the ball & 3 point shooting...caleb swanigan (ranked #12 in the class) could be a nba first rounder if he can successfully core out his body, his guardian roosevelt barnes is very involved in his recruitment (caleb, rip, was a cal silent commit but barnes refused to sign the letter of intent which resulted in him signing with purdue)

finally william's silver lexus suv shows up at the valet circle and roy looks me in the eyes & tells me with a little wink "nice meeting you, shocky, good luck in out recruiting me"

shocky is not a dumb azz, he knows what just happened...unlike the current cal basketball coach, roy williams is the featured speaker at dozens of fans/donor events throughout north carolina every year & its kinda hard to come up with fresh new intro speeches, he can't wait to get to his dinner in 30 minutes and tell everybody how he just met this crazy as **** berkeley guy who thinks they are going to out recruit the fabled north carolina program that's won multiple national championships, the crowd is gonna love it & howl with laughter

well guess what?...the shockster got commitment from all 3 of these mcdonald all americans & signed 2 of them

it's seem almost surreal that 6 years ago cal was near the pinnacle of college basketball in excitement & recruiting, what the **** happened?





the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world (including north carolina & more specifically chapel hill)
fun times in north carolina:

so a couple of years ago slim wade & the shockster play/stay pinehurst #2 on a friday & then on the saturday football gameday are invited by the head pro at tobacco road (the most underrated course in north carolina, the innovative mike strantz's most spectacular work along with monterey country club's shore course) to play the front nine at the crack of dawn & then play the back nine after the game right before the sun goes down on a beautiful fall evening in the carolinas

https://instagr.am/p/CAL-FM5lkxM
the critical play in the bears victory is now cal staffer malik mcmorris tracking down in the sky & catching a 4th and 1 reception that changes all the momentum, if you were there you will never forget that moment in time



as the final seconds tick off coach wilcox brilliantly instructs his defensive backs to intentionally hold the tar heels wide receivers which results in half the distance penalties to the end zone but more importantly basically runs out the clock, this is coaching masterpiece theatre

so me (the shockster don't ever rep much berkeley gear, only wearing my cal golf cap) & slim wadie (creighton grad, no cal gear) are leaving the stadium in north chapel when this bizarre encounter happens with an obviously inebriated 6'5" 300+ lbs visibly upset huge white guy while his embarazzed petite blonde wife & two 10 year old boyz watch this go down:

mr tar heel (blocking my pathway to the parking lot & spit coming out of his mouth he's so angry): hey, are you proud of your coach cheating at the end of the game?

shocky (picking his words carefully): thought it was a real battle today, two really tough teams that are gonna have solid seasons

mr tar heel (moving closer to me, slim wade is nodding at me letting me know this guy is ready to throw punches, be careful he's telling me): that's just bull****, i started for 3 years on the o-line and i've never seen such a ***** azz cheating coach like yours

shocky: 100% hear what your saying but let me ask you this, would you be mad if roy williams intentionally fouled duke's lowest percentage shooting free throw shooter late in the game in order to win a game?

mr tar heel (finally takes a deep breath & unclenches his fists): ok, that's a decent point

shocky (fist bumping him): hey enjoy your dinner with your beautiful family, we gotta hustle back to sanford to get 9 more holes in before its gets dark, be good brah

wife (silently mouthing to me "thank you"): we need to get moving too jimmy, good nite guys
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Goobear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 2:04p, 1/14/23
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
bearister, the shockster along with colin morikawa, max homa, james hahn, michael kim & byeong hun an (all 5 have earned their pga cards for next season) are not fans of the liv tour which is financed by the 9/11 bombers attack upon the united states of america

did you know that the #1 ranked player in the 2023 class eric lee from fullerton is gonna sign with coach walter this november?...yeah cal is a golf school that is gonna be competing for a national championship in the near future

the usa team was victorious last week at the president's cup in charlotte north carolina with key contributions by americans max homa & colin morikawa, the following is a loosely edited transcript of my conversations at around 6:30 pm in the locker room at quail hollow back in the day after my world rankings golf course evaluation which was arranged by fellow g2c2 (global golf centurion club, membership rules require the completion of at least 1 world top 100 golf magazine list, the shockster has played the last 17 world lists) member adam (who is a golf professional)

shocky: (standing at the sink trying to scrub the bunker sand outta his eyes from the 18th hole)

random dude: you ok?

shocky: your club's sand is terrific, same bright white silicone stuff as augusta, but it's a pain in the azz when it gets in your eyes, everything is kinda blurry or something

random dude: (who is tying a light blue tie with a glistening white starched shirt) sorry to hear that, are you the rater that's visiting today to see if we're a world top 100 golf course?...are we that good?

shocky: yeah, that's me, fun day today, your definitely a usa top 100 golf course...ima shocky (extending a fist bump)

random dude: nice to meet you, i'm roy...so how do you rate these world top 100 golf courses?...at my old job i used to get invited out to prairie dunes all the time

shocky: prairie dunes is an amazing links golfing experience, easily the best course in kansas and in my world top 25 rankings...hey, do you wanna join me and adam for a quick drink?

random dude: would love to talk about golf course architecture with you guys, that's my new hobby, but i got to go this work function at 7:00 pm

shocky: (thinking it's some boring azz corporate function with rubber chicken) can't you just show up late?

random dude: not really, i'm sort of the featured speaker

shocky: (feeling sorry for this guy) well, good luck then, at least you got to play golf this afternoon

random dude: yeah work is work, please tell adam to shoot me a text regarding when he can give me another lesson, thanks

adam: (as shocks walks over to him in the locker room) do you know who just insulted with your work thing stuff?

shocky: i dunno, somebody who wants a lesson with you?

adam: (shaking his head & laughing) guess what dumb azz, that's roy williams

shocky: (hustling back to the sink area) hey roy, didn't mean to hassle you

roy: (kinda laughing) that's ok, you would be a tenacious assistant coach with that attitude

shocky: well, now that you mention it, i'm the director of recruiting for the cal basketball program and the co author of cal's monster class with its several million views which is the most read thread in the history of college basketball...did you know we are currently in major battles with you for three mcdonald all americans?

roy: (with a kinda smirk and perhaps a glimpse of recognition) really, and what three prospects are you referring to?

shocky: ivan rabb, jaylen brown and caleb swanigan...i've branded these recruitments as cal's diamonds are forever class.. do you know anything about these guys or do you just delegate recruiting to your assistant coaches?

roy: (tight smile but perhaps with a bit of annoyance) do you got a minute or two?

shocky: sure

roy: ok, walk with me to valet then, i gotta speak across town in thirty minutes, this is just between us, ok?

and then as we walk thru the clubhouse to the valet area by the front door roy williams lectures me for 5 minutes non stop breaking down the skillsets of ivan rabb, jaylen brown and caleb swanigan

his detailed knowledge is mind boggling, he tells me that rabb (at that moment the #1 ranked player in the nation) is the most innate rebounder he's seen in years and very unselfish with the ball but that he's concerned about his unusual gait (note: ivan retired from the nba because of plantar fasciitis)...jaylen brown (ranked #5 in the class) is a future nba all star but will struggle in college with sharing the ball & 3 point shooting...caleb swanigan (ranked #12 in the class) could be a nba first rounder if he can successfully core out his body, his guardian roosevelt barnes is very involved in his recruitment (caleb, rip, was a cal silent commit but barnes refused to sign the letter of intent which resulted in him signing with purdue)

finally william's silver lexus suv shows up at the valet circle and roy looks me in the eyes & tells me with a little wink "nice meeting you, shocky, good luck in out recruiting me"

shocky is not a dumb azz, he knows what just happened...unlike the current cal basketball coach, roy williams is the featured speaker at dozens of fans/donor events throughout north carolina every year & its kinda hard to come up with fresh new intro speeches, he can't wait to get to his dinner in 30 minutes and tell everybody how he just met this crazy as **** berkeley guy who thinks they are going to out recruit the fabled north carolina program that's won multiple national championships, the crowd is gonna love it & howl with laughter

well guess what?...the shockster got commitment from all 3 of these mcdonald all americans & signed 2 of them

it's seem almost surreal that 6 years ago cal was near the pinnacle of college basketball in excitement & recruiting, what the **** happened?





the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world (including north carolina & more specifically chapel hill)
fun times in north carolina:

so a couple of years ago slim wade & the shockster play/stay pinehurst #2 on a friday & then on the saturday football gameday are invited by the head pro at tobacco road (the most underrated course in north carolina, the innovative mike strantz's most spectacular work along with monterrey country club's shore course) to play the front nine at the crack of down & then play the back nine after the game right before the sun goes down on a beautiful fall evening in the carolinas
https://instagr.am/p/CAL-FM5lkxM
the critical play in the bears victory is now cal staffer malik mcmorris tracking down in the sky & catching a 4th and 1 reception that changes all the momentum, if you were there you will never forget that moment in time



as the final seconds tick off coach wilcox brilliantly instructs his defensive backs to intentionally hold the tar heels wide receiver which results in half the distance penalties to the end zone but more importantly basically runs out the clock, this is coaching masterpiece theatre

so me (the shockster don't ever rep much berkeley gear, only wearing my cal golf cap) & slim wadie (creighton grad, no cal gear) are leaving the stadium in north chapel when this bizarre encounter happens with an obviously inebriated 6'5" 300+ lb visibly upset huge white guy while his embarazzed petite blonde wife & two 10 year old boyz watch this go down:

mr tar heel (blocking my pathway to the parking lot & spit coming out of his mouth he's so upset): hey, are you proud of your coach cheating at the end of the game?

shocky (picking his words carefully): thought it was a real battle today, two really tough teams that are gonna have solid seasons

mr tar heel (moving closer to me, slim wade is nodding at me letting me know this guy is ready to throw punches, be careful he's telling me): that's just bull****, i started for 3 years on the o-line and i've never seen such a ***** azz cheating coach like yours

shocky: 100% hear what your saying but let me ask you this, would you be mad if roy williams intentionally fouled duke's lowest percentage shooting free throw shooter late in the game in order to win a game?

mr tar heel (finally takes a deep breath & unclenches his fists): ok, that's a decent point

shocky (fist bumping him): hey enjoy your dinner with your beautiful family, we gotta hustle back to sanford to get 9 more holes in before its gets dark, be good brah

wife (silently mouthing to me "thank you"): we need to get moving too jimmy, good nite guys
Yep was at that game. The sun was so hot my wife and I had to go up the bleachers to sit in the shade. Our jeans were burning our legs. This was the game where we football parents said this coach is different. He has brains. Lots of good performances. Bowers got his clock cleaned and carried on. Malik and Laird showed off. My kid played hurt but no one knew. I hope Wilcox can get this fire in the bottle going. Great trip, great food. Go Bears!
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Shocky1
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2:58p, 1/14/23
mad respect for ur son playing injured, 100% that wuz a memorable day in north carolina, a battle in so many ways

the tar heels wuz handing our azzs to us in the 1st half when their sack artist got thrown out of the game & wiped out a devastating sack with a totally unnecessary violent late hit on bowers...can still remember their fans wildly cheering for him when the dumb azz ran off the field waving at the crowd while exiting to the locker room

the magic of traveling to california golden bears roadtrips#
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3:03p, 1/14/23

walter rouse translation: my faith involves bags and bags of money plus they got good architecture and buildings in norman and even a shoneys too



high end palo alto escort (now u gotta run it up)#
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