cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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4:26p, 8/30/23
^^^jeff, plz report back after ur cal golf fundraiser dinner, ok?

my introduction to cal golf back in the day wuz 100% accidental during the cal's monster class era

driving by asu to get a yoga mat or a phd in pool partying or something, see the cal flag blowing in the wind at karsten golf course so flip a u on scottsdale road & drive into the parking lot

there's an asu college golf tournament going on (never been to one in my life) & walk up to the putting green in my cal golf cap, a fuchsia naked yoga t-shirt, villebrequin swim trunks & black hermes flip flops

coach desimone comes on over & asks me did i graduate from berkeley or wut?

shocky tells des that he wuz a haas biz ad major, des tells me he wuz b-school too & then introduces me to every player in the lineup up: future pga players homa, kim & hagy, us amateur finalist weaver & future euro tour stalter

all the guys are fun & super friendly, it occurs to me that these guys could not only make generational bank in pro golf but could also work on wall street as investment bankers too

then des advises me that he & an assistant coach walter chun can't be everywhere & that he needs me to serve as an honorary assistant coach that day & keep an eye on brandon hagy who just got accepted into the b-school

ok says shocky, let's roll baby

hagy (who ironically moves to north scottsdale along with his teammate max after graduation in order to play out of whisper rock) drives the ball longer than anybody in the college game & on the slightly into the wind 537 yard par 5 17th hole smashes his 387 yard drive into the 150 yardage plate in the middle of the fairway en route to a phenomenal 66

shocky became a cal golf fan that day

everybody luvs des#
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Shocky1
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5:17p, 8/30/23


so then a little bit down the road des shows up unexpectedly at my basketball floor seats with my daughter tay at halftime & tells me that brandon credits me for his 66 at asu & that our conversations between shots kept him loose and that hagy wanna know if ima gonna to the cal golf banquet or not?

not sure if brandon actually said any of that **** but remember this is the world according to des so who knows?

he also invites me to play peninsula cc in 2 weeks which got a real good set of wild azz donald ross designed greens but also an uptight stuffy membership (which is kinda funny because this is a safety club for those that got turned down for memberships at san francisco golf club)

so i tell steve yeah sure i'll be there & then stroke him a check for $20,000 to announce as an anonymous "dumb azz donation" to start his opening speech at the banquet

we have a fun time at peninsula cc (his team wins) & then we have a 5 bucks rematch at cypress point which when shocky makes a 20 foot downhiller towards the ocean to par the uphill to the clubhouse18th hole/win the match with slim wadie as my partner after a couple of garbage time shots causes des to lose his **** (he's not a good loser)



anyways shocky shows up at the banquet at orinda cc & walks up the 1st golfer and asks him if he's brandon hagy?

dude says no, he's max homa & i look at him with disappointment & walk away (michael kim starts laughing, his teammate just got pwned, whatever) ...keep in mind this wuz back in the day when max wuz clean shaven (and good looking) & not rocking his current boys of the taliban facial manscaping look



the magic of cal golf (and its crazy azz personalities)#

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bearister
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5:53p, 8/30/23
Two Cal Bears make Ryder Cup Team

Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection
Send my credentials to the House of Detention
I got some friends inside
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Shocky1
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5:57p, 8/30/23
legal document correction: three cal bears make ryder cup team (rickie is a honorary california golden bear thx to allison)
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89Bear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:21p, 8/30/23
Shocky1 said:
legal document correction: three cal bears make ryder cup team (rickie is a honorary california golden bear thx to allison)
In that photo above was Rickie watching you talk up Allison???
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89Bear
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In reply to bearister • 6:23p, 8/30/23
bearister said:
Two Cal Bears make Ryder Cup Team

One of the rare times I will ever root for Brooks or Cantlay.
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Shocky1
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6:32p, 8/30/23
https://instagr.am/p/B-w7lzrgF6M
89, let's be real here, allison is tryna make me jealous or something, ok?...it's pretty ******* obvious to everyone, right?

let's look at some facts:

shocky's 3.92 berkeley gpa>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>rickie's 2.69 gpa at oklahoma state

shocky enjoys conversations & reading books & ****>>>>>>>rickie staring at his i-phone all day placing nfl/nba/mlb sports book bets

shocky's t-rex yoga/meditation practice (without a handstand)>>>>>>>>>>>>rickie's sorry azz stretching before golf

shocky 5'9" (maybe) 165 lbs=rickie 5'9" 165 lbs (colin also 5'9" 165 lbs)

rickie winning the phoenix open in a rainstorm>>>>>>>>>>shocky playing the world top 100 courses

rickie can hit a 3 wood 267 yards over water onto an island green for a tap in eagle>>>>>>>>>>>>shocky once made 3 hole in ones at castles n coasters & won a free game

shocky's favorite colors of fuchsia & cobalt blue>>>>>>>rickie's favorite color of ugly azz orange

rickie a mutt of mixed descent=shocky a mutt of mixed descent

this is NOT complicated (allison is a dumb azz)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to 89Bear • 6:33p, 8/30/23
89Bear said:
Shocky1 said:
legal document correction: three cal bears make ryder cup team (rickie is a honorary california golden bear thx to allison)
In that photo above was Rickie watching you talk up Allison???
yeah fowler looks kinda constipated or something in that foto
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to bearister • 7:04p, 8/30/23
bearister said:
Two Cal Bears make Ryder Cup Team



The Cal golf program has come a long way from when they cancelled it my first year.
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Shocky1
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7:07p, 8/30/23
https://instagr.am/p/CrrP6ujM6yD
82, hear u improved ur chipping/short game skillz since then, congrats
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:22p, 8/30/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CrrP6ujM6yD
82, hear u improved ur chipping/short game skillz since then, congrats


I thought I deleted this. Actually, I'm lucky I no longer play because I developed some short game yips at the end.
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Shocky1
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7:29p, 8/30/23
sorry to hear that, maybe u should get a new golf buddy or something

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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:35p, 8/30/23
Shocky1 said:
cal's 2024 junior day update:

6'7" 330 lbs offensive lineman, class of 2025, 3.3 gpa#

high priority 2025 trench worker peter langi from riordan gonna be on the bears sidelines as an unofficial visitor for the auburn sec battle on september 9th

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and only a 30 minute drive to memorial stadium for the fam on gamedays)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/
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Shocky1
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10:08p, 8/30/23


cal's monster offensive line update:

cindo wuz the king of the hill's 1st phone call when he took the job

barrett miller brings "power and strength" & is "technically very sound"

2 deep need to be prepared to play in the season opener

very interesting comment that you can't simulate the texas heat in the bay area but also keep in mind that the bears haven't been worn down by practicing in the heat like the home team

pound for ground#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:23a, 8/31/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CwX6PPTLhsw
2023 cal golf line up for the september 3rd-5th marquette tournament:

coach walter chun has set the line up/traveling squad for the bears opening tournament of the much anticipated 2023 campaign at former us open site erin hills which is northwest of milwaukee, there is more elite talent on this team since the kim/homa/hagy/weaver/stalter team that wuz arguably the greatest team in the history of college golf:

1. sampson zheng: no surprise here for the #30 ranked player in the nation, got potential pga tour upside
2. tony cheng: one of the fastest rising players in the pac 12, competed at the 2023 us amateur @ cherry hills
3. ethan chung: kinda surprising, the usc transfer appears to be putting it all together
4. ethan fang: the incoming top 5 player in the 2023 class from plano texas got unlimited upside
5. daniel heo: last season's strong freshman performance wuz not a fluke
individual-eric lee: #1 ranked player in the 2023 class, this is sorta like jaylen brown coming off the bench

not traveling with the team this week is 2023 us amateur competitor aaron du
golf week's 2023 collegiate rankings/team overviews: cal projected at #24
https://www.nbcsports.com/golf/news/ncaa-mens-golf-preseason-rankings-top-30-teams-players-for-2023-24

sampson zheng NOT listed in the top 35...burn

let's see how accurate these projections play out over time...
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:53a, 8/31/23
Shocky1 said:
sorry to hear that, maybe u should get a new golf buddy or something



I've commented on the number of beautiful women golfers that show up on FB Reels. And they have great swings. I spent everyday of my teenage years at Lincoln Park in SF and saw 1 (one!) young woman golfer. Had there been a plethora of young girls out there I would have been either a much better golfer (spent even more time at the course) or much worse.
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Shocky1
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7:31a, 8/31/23
https://instagr.am/p/Csz674YL8p7
sitting here at sky harbor awaiting a flite to dallas with slim wadie just saw the higley high school football team which is traveling to the bay to play amador valley

spoke with brother kaden millner (wide receiver, runs a 4.81 40 but got good hair) who tole me that kai just got announced as the starting quarterback for the northern arizona lumberjacks, congrats to the hard working qb with a lotta upside

asked kaden how tuf r nau academics compared to berkeley?

he just laughed & tole me the former haas biz ad prospect is still majoring in biz in coconino county & that "there's no comparison" with a big smile

go jacks#
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AZ Bear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 8:47a, 8/31/23
Great story about Coach Desimone. All the hallmarks of a classic Shocky anecdote.
"Boys of the taliban facial manscaping"....lol
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Oski87
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In reply to AZ Bear • 9:26a, 8/31/23
They moved it across the street into Telegraph where Soul Brother's Kitchen used to be. That is the restaurant that burned down - although that may have been named something else when it did burn. Kingfish there is actually pretty good - more space now and an patio for outside drinking.
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sosheezy
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In reply to Oski87 • 9:27a, 8/31/23
Oski87 said:
They moved it across the street into Telegraph where Soul Brother's Kitchen used to be. That is the restaurant that burned down - although that may have been named something else when it did burn. Kingfish there is actually pretty good - more space now and an patio for outside drinking.
The reservable private space upstairs is phenomenal value for gatherings. It's a flat $150-200 or something very reasonable like that.
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Jeff82
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In reply to 82gradDLSdad • 10:17a, 8/31/23
82gradDLSdad said:
Shocky1 said:
sorry to hear that, maybe u should get a new golf buddy or something



I've commented on the number of beautiful women golfers that show up on FB Reels. And they have great swings. I spent everyday of my teenage years at Lincoln Park in SF and saw 1 (one!) young woman golfer. Had there been a plethora of young girls out there I would have been either a much better golfer (spent even more time at the course) or much worse.
This one is a bit misleading, as that particular female golfer is the former Mrs. Jason Dufner, PGA Tour trophy wife. The best places to see good-looking women hitting golf balls, IMHO, is that the driving range, either with their boyfriends, or as a lark with girlfriends. Locations:

Top Golf in San Jose
Pruneridge Golf Course in Santa Clara
Mariners' Island Golf Course in Foster City
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Shocky1
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10:34a, 8/31/23


monster dallas weather report (boots on the ground except that shocky don't got no cowboy boots):

honestly it's not that hot/humid at the dallas airport, this is not gonna be like the roadtrip to maryland which almost made me pass out

saturday's temps will not affect the outcome of the game...the bears plane will be landing in a couple of hours, our guys with proper hydration & player rotation will be strong enuf



spinnin' out about things that haven't happened (drag racing thru the canyon)#
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89Bear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:41a, 8/31/23
Shocky1 said:


monster dallas weather report (boots on the ground except that shocky don't got no cowboy boots):

honestly it's not that hot/humid at the dallas airport, this is not gonna be like the roadtrip to maryland which almost made me pass out

saturday's temps will not affect the outcome of the game...the bears plane will be landing in a couple of hours, our guys wilth proper hydration & player rotation will be strong enuf



spinnin' out about things that haven't happened (drag racing thru the canyon)#

Shocky, which area has the most A-hole golfers???
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BlakeJ22
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:57a, 8/31/23
Thanks for the relentless positivity, it's a nice respite from the hand wringing gloom and doom scenario.
Monster thread is about selling what you have, which is considerable when sold the right way.
If I want doomsday scenarios, I can follow world politics or climate change, and not college sports.
keep the train rolling !!!
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AZ Bear
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In reply to BlakeJ22 • 2:10p, 8/31/23
Amen, BlakeJ. That's exactly right!

Ride the optimism until it's no longer possible...
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Shocky1
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In reply to 89Bear • 8:28p, 8/31/23
89Bear said:

Shocky, which area has the most A-hole golfers???


89, native dubai golfers are extremely rude & disrespectful to employees at golf clubs and specifically females

reality is that dubai is gonna run out of oil in the next decade or two so they are tryna diversity the economy to include tourism (my son went snow skiing at the mall)...but those of us accustomed to friendly interactions with everybody, dubai is a very awkward socially place to visit

one & done#
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bencgilmore
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8:31p, 8/31/23
shocky youre the man, keep this **** rolling
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Shocky1
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9:40p, 8/31/23
https://instagr.am/p/CwoLlAKsYNT
beautiful evening in frisco#
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Shocky1
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9:53p, 8/31/23
acc expansion: if the acc prezs take a formal vote that means that they anticipate passage of the calford & smu invitations to join the acc

acc or close up shop#
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Shocky1
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10:17p, 8/31/23
acc expansion: an acc prez zoom call friday morning at 10:00 am east coast time would first focus on the necessary revenue share changes that favor (appease) clemson & florida state and if this emotional sticking point can be successfully agreed upon then there would be a calford & smu expansion vote
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sonofabear51
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:47p, 8/31/23
TY Shocky

Go Bears!!
Start Slowly and taper off
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Econ141
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:51p, 8/31/23
Shocky1 said:
acc expansion: an acc prez zoom call friday morning at 10:00 am east coast time would first focus on the necessary revenue share changes that favor (appease) clemson & florida state and if this emotional sticking point can be successfully agreed upon then there would be a calford & smu expansion vote


Gosh if there are still trying to figure out how to divide the pie, I bet tomorrow's meeting ends in no decision and we are waiting again for another week or until the Stanford and Cal give up all media rights.
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Jeff82 • 3:57a, 9/1/23
Jeff82 said:
82gradDLSdad said:
Shocky1 said:
sorry to hear that, maybe u should get a new golf buddy or something



I've commented on the number of beautiful women golfers that show up on FB Reels. And they have great swings. I spent everyday of my teenage years at Lincoln Park in SF and saw 1 (one!) young woman golfer. Had there been a plethora of young girls out there I would have been either a much better golfer (spent even more time at the course) or much worse.
This one is a bit misleading, as that particular female golfer is the former Mrs. Jason Dufner, PGA Tour trophy wife. The best places to see good-looking women hitting golf balls, IMHO, is that the driving range, either with their boyfriends, or as a lark with girlfriends. Locations:

Top Golf in San Jose
Pruneridge Golf Course in Santa Clara
Mariners' Island Golf Course in Foster City


No Top Golf in 1970s. And the two driving ranges I frequented in SF, the one at Harding and the one by Laguna Honda had no girls either. For a couple of years I was lucky enough to have a junior membership at Olympic Club. No girls at that one either. I was born too early.
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Shocky1
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5:07a, 9/1/23




started at the bottom (now the whole team is ******* here, gotta keep it real from the jump)#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and now an acc member with fabulous east coast golfing roadtrips)

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KenBurnski
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5:12a, 9/1/23
YEAHHHHHHHHH. Can a Demon Deacon do a headstand?
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