cal's monster offensive line

2,188,771 Views | 12637 Replies | Last: 3 hrs ago by Shocky1
Goobear
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Shocky1 said:

^ willem, quit wasting ur time, coffee is for losers

when r u gonna have 32 oz green drinks & brabants worstenbroodje with stoffel?

cal's monster offensive line (is always hungry for clean superfood groupings)#
Worstenbroodje not my thing never had it.
Shocky1
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^ yeah well that's probably because ur from yuma or something

sigh#

Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/CvvvW7EuXfc
cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

coach bloesch is officially tripping 6'6" 330 lbs vanderbilt (started his career at west virginia) grad transfer right tackle junior uzebu

uzebu wuz a starter in 2023 for the commodores but got an opening game lower body injury that derailed his season

junior is not a dumb azz, he got a vanderbilt (the harvard of the south) degree with a major of communications with a minor in business and is interested in pursuing grad work in learning, diversity & urban studies

https://instagr.am/p/Co-tiLfOKbb
not gonna lie, shocky would luv to see this guy from alpharetta experiencing the diversely cosmopolitanl san francisco bay area...who knows maybe junior wanna be my next yoga bro/protege from georgia who wanted to fall in the cali sun?





the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including atlanta)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


got to do the hang on the stanford field during the epic big game celebration with promising true freshman defensive back sailasa vadrawale from rohnert park who wuz also surrounded by his beautiful family

sai tole me that he weighed 160 lbs in high school, that he weighs 170 lbs right now & that he hopes to weigh 180+ lbs for 2024 spring ball

the surprising news is that the staff wants the ball hawk with elite closing speed to play safety

future bay areal california golden bear starter#

would love for this remarkable young man to withdraw from the portal & return to berkeley, still lists himself as a cal defensive back on his twitter

if this is true this is a beyond breaking bad truly sad decision (with 50 year severe economic consequences)#
https://instagr.am/p/C1VmPU9JxL4

odds of being in a position to support moms & family in the future sliding south for the winter

fiji boyz think outta the box (what time is yoga today?)#
Shocky1
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university of texas el paso official visitors for potential migration to the left coast

tyrin smith, elite wide receiver with redunkulous 2022 season, cibolo texas native, 1 year of eligibility


deion hankins, 2604 career rushing yards, el paso native, 1 year of eligibility


the university of calveston=#1 ranked public university in the world (for texans that wanna build a nfl resume in the atlantic coast conference while living on the west coast)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/
oskiswifeshusband
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Isn't our Rb depth enough?
Shocky1
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oskisgfisinrehab, let's take a look at coach thompson's depth chart, ok?

*****jaydn ott is a heisman candidate & can score from anywhere

*****justin william-thomas runs thru defenders but has had past injury issues with his physical style of attack

*****my boy ashton stredick is overlooked despite being the future of cal football, luv this guy

*****javian "the jet" thomas almost got killed in seattle this season

*****bryon cardwell may never play football again

*****jamaal wiley is gonna be a true freshman
oskiswifeshusband
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Dang didn't know that about cardwell
Strykur
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oskiswifeshusband said:

Dang didn't know that about cardwell
I'm surprised Javian Thomas didn't hit the portal after he nearly got killed on a dive play that made no sense given his player profile.
juarezbear
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Shocky1 said:


oskisgfisinrehab, let's take a look at coach thompson's depth chart, ok?

*****jaydn ott is a heisman candidate & can score from anywhere

*****justin william-thomas runs thru defenders but has had past injury issues with his physical style of attack

*****my boy ashton stredick is overlooked despite being the future of cal football, luv this guy

*****javian "the jet" thomas almost got killed in seattle this season

*****bryon cardwell may never play football again

*****jamaal wiley is gonna be a true freshman
Is The Jet coming back? That was a scary injury.
juarezbear
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Shocky1 said:

university of texas el paso official visitors for potential migration to the left coast

tyrin smith, elite wide receiver with redunkulous 2022 season, cibolo texas native, 1 year of eligibility


deion hankins, 2604 career rushing yards, el paso native, 1 year of eligibility


the university of calveston=#1 ranked public university in the world (for texans that wanna build a nfl resume in the atlantic coast conference while living on the west coast)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/
Smith is following the Juarezbear Trail from El Paso to Berkeley. The most important decision of my life and could be for him as well. Welcome aboard Amigo!
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C0KZXXwypRv
hollywood & stykur, the jet wuz on the field making moves driving all the tech cheerleaders crazy during warmups in shreveport, yeah shocky just fell about the place

the fastest guy in oaktown (is a true student athlete in berkeley)#
Shocky1
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hollywood, r u making a movie rite now, u seem kinda distracted...don't worry, my script writing of the dramatic sci fi with a tear jerking epic romance angle movie of "raiders of the last buc-ee's: journey to the university of calveston" is in it's 19th draft, the texas drawl in the dialogue of the protagonist hank (character is loosely shaped on mike bloesch) is kinda hard to get exactly right but don't worry there's gonna a be a lotta gratuitous yoga class scenes with curvy brunette yoga females hugging/kissing each other all the time for no apparent reason...not really sure if the script really calls for a spaceship invading planet earth & smu getting blown up to smithereens but we can figure that out later in production this fall

just gotta point out, deion hawkins is from ur hometown of el paso, ok?...tyrin smith is from cibolo texas...both guys r not tall & can't see the future re: any potential public commitments until they finish their official visits to berkeley

anyways we're gonna get a lotta product placements from buc-ee's & catering for the talent and staff is gonna be a no brainer on location on i-20 exit 503...maybe we could hire mckade matteur to be charge of the squibs & steadicams, he gotta worthless oklahoma degree & needs the work... ...here's an advance of the theme song for the award winning soundtrack...yeah when we hear our names as co executive producers at the 2025 oscar's at the dolby threatre in hollywood for best movie let's both shout "thank you to all the academy voters and nobu malibu and with that being said, go bears!"

https://instagr.am/p/CS2yajcgL3o


cal is a dream school#
Shocky1
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heavy is the head that wears the crown (in the deep south)#
harebear
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Goobear said:

Shocky1 said:

^ willem, quit wasting ur time, coffee is for losers

when r u gonna have 32 oz green drinks & brabants worstenbroodje with stoffel?

cal's monster offensive line (is always hungry for clean superfood groupings)#
Worstenbroodje not my thing never had it.
A good breakfast would be a green juice from 7-11 and some (T)DR hagelslag

I showed this video to one of my dutch relatives (but I don't think they were amused)



Shocky1
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a really stupid scenario of a bad bunny friendship:

important confidentiality note: names have been changes to protect identities

a dumb azz who didn't apply himself academically after getting accepted despite a low gpa decides to leave harvard in order to do less homework at the coos bay community college

then the dumb azz tells his naive friend who got a good gpa to follow in his footsteps & persuades him to drop out of harvard too & go to the mentally less challenging skool with him

fast forward to when both guys are 30 years old: they both got kinda worthless degrees from the coos bay community college, are exhausted working nite shifts at the flying beaver convenience store & dating lot lizards with stds & cfm pumps...their net worths are under 500 bucks each while their old teammates at harvard earned degrees and are building generational wealth & buying homes for moms

moral of the story: pick ur mentors carefully in life (chutes & ladders)
Goobear
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harebear said:

Goobear said:

Shocky1 said:

^ willem, quit wasting ur time, coffee is for losers

when r u gonna have 32 oz green drinks & brabants worstenbroodje with stoffel?

cal's monster offensive line (is always hungry for clean superfood groupings)#
Worstenbroodje not my thing never had it.
A good breakfast would be a green juice from 7-11 and some (T)DR hagelslag

I showed this video to one of my dutch relatives (but I don't think they were amused)




Too funny but I have a different version. Replace the butter with peanut butter and then put hagelslag on itโ€ฆvery goodโ€ฆ.
Shocky1
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play one: jogging back on defense

play two: bad angles & failure to get back

play three: zero off ball defensive help

defense wins basketball games#
Econ141
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Holy moly



Shocky1
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KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM
KABOOM VAROOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM SHAZOM
CAVOOM KABOOM VAROOM KAVOOM KAVOOM KAVOOM

welcome elite +1 athletic running back 6' 217 lbs kadarius calloway from tiny philadelphia mississippi who signed with alabama outta high school before stops at east mississippi community college & recently old dominion

check out his elite vision (and patience) & ability to quickly ramp up his top end SPEED

kadarius is not a dumb azz, he wuz raised by an older bro kj & a single moms chasity peebles, a surgery technician nurse who he describes as both his mother and father
https://www.clarionledger.com/story/sports/high-school/2020/07/22/kadarius-calloway-dandy-dozen-alabama-commit-philadelphia-mississippi/5398521002/

let's root for this young man to roll tide on gamedays at memorial stadium & earn a degree from the #1 ranked public university in the world

this is cal football (a pathway for socially engineering change thru elite educational opportunities)#

https://instagr.am/p/BuzTEFrhY6y
Shocky1
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coach browning is offering canadian native 6'4" 290 lbs alabama transfer isaiah hastings from the clearwater academy international in florida...he got 3 years of remaining eligibility

and with that being said, isaiah is really strong

no wonder hastings also had offers from georgia, florida, oregon & michigan outta high school

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including freezing azz canada)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C1VaL1rvav2
cal's monster class (luvs doggys)#
Shocky1
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the ohana spirit (after the lahaina wildfires)#
Shocky1
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yeah taylor remembers slater throwing food at her at lunchtime in the notre dame high school cafeteria, zellers always been pretty obsessed with the trajectory of heat seeking flying projectiles or something

and with that being said, the shocky "and with that being said" movement is continuing its rapid trajectory worldwide popularity...



yeah forks up in old town at the #1 ranked stripper college in the world (sorry shay & taylor)

nfl prospect with a berkeley degree (and that's just good parenting, sorry sai & jeremiah)#
Pittstop
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Philadelphia, MS is the same tiny Mississippi town that produced the great, former OU RB & Philadelphia, MS legend, Marcus Dupree.
Shocky1
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pitts, and a short drive for moms chasity & bro kj to auburn on gameday saturday september 7th when them california golden bears roadtrip to the deep south, kadarius is gonna help educate his teammates re: the humidity & the importance of hydration & **** like that



already circled on the kitchen calendar#
Shocky1
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it never ceases to amaze me the social contract of those with degrees from the #1 ranked public university in the world

berkeley grads (and specifically haas biz school) protecting the most vulnerable in society#
juarezbear
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Shocky1 said:

hollywood, r u making a movie rite now, u seem kinda distracted...don't worry, my script writing of the dramatic sci fi with a tear jerking epic romance angle movie of "raiders of the last buc-ee's: journey to the university of calveston" is in it's 19th draft, the texas drawl in the dialogue of the protagonist hank (character is loosely shaped on mike bloesch) is kinda hard to get exactly right but don't worry there's gonna a be a lotta gratuitous yoga class scenes with curvy brunette yoga females hugging/kissing each other all the time for no apparent reason...not really sure if the script really calls for a spaceship invading planet earth & smu getting blown up to smithereens but we can figure that out later in production this fall

just gotta point out, deion hawkins is from ur hometown of el paso, ok?...tyrin smith is from cibolo texas...both guys r not tall & can't see the future re: any potential public commitments until they finish their official visits to berkeley

anyways we're gonna get a lotta product placements from buc-ee's & catering for the talent and staff is gonna be a no brainer on location on i-20 exit 503...maybe we could hire mckade matteur to be charge of the squibs & steadicams, he gotta worthless oklahoma degree & needs the work... ...here's an advance of the theme song for the award winning soundtrack...yeah when we hear our names as co executive producers at the 2025 oscar's at the dolby threatre in hollywood for best movie let's both shout "thank you to all the academy voters and nobu malibu and with that being said, go bears!"

https://instagr.am/p/CS2yajcgL3o


cal is a dream school#


I'm liking that story idea!! I'm back at the grindstone now that the various strikes are over. Ima let you know when I'm back in ATL and Florida. Might be cold for golf in ATL but bringing my sticks of course. Unfortunately, got Covid last weekend so my round this weekend at Riv is gonna hafta get rescheduled. Still looking forward to a round with u at Friars Head this Spring. Go Bears!
Shocky1
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get healthy hollywood, now that the screenwriter's strike is over ur rolling again

friar's head in eastern long island (north of the hamptons) is my favorite modern golf design in the world, it's a spectacularly natural design with a tight walkable routing (no golf carts) by bill coore (my only idol, lives around the corner here in north scottsdale) of coore & crenshaw

https://instagr.am/p/CW7RG71gBFe
during the cal's monster class era shocky used to see/talk to assistant coach/recruiting dynamo yanni hufnagel once or twice a week...so knowing yanni wuz an ivy league grad from the island i invited him to join me on a 4th of july weekend at friar's head & he asked me to take his dad (an avid golfer at new york munis) instead

tell yanni no problem sure let's do this...and with that being said huf's dad & me are sitting with 2 members (golf buddies of mine, harvard mba grads/wall street guys who cashed out early with generational wealth) on the patio overlooking the ocean eating lunch when yanni's dad asks our 2 hosts in a serious tone "so how much did you guys have to steal in order to join this place?"



yeah, cal's monster class wuz all about 50 year friendships, yanni is a very successful entrepreneur in so cal these days & his dad is still driving the old jewish ladies crazy on the island

ruh roh (we still laugh about that memorable lunch moment but not lindsay brauner)#
juarezbear
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Shocky1 said:

get healthy hollywood, now that the screenwriter's strike is over ur rolling again

friar's head in eastern long island (north of the hamptons) is my favorite modern golf design in the world, it's a spectacularly natural design with a tight walkable routing (no golf carts) by bill coore (my only idol, lives around the corner here in north scottsdale) of coore & crenshaw

https://instagr.am/p/CW7RG71gBFe
during the cal's monster class era shocky used to see/talk to assistant coach/recruiting dynamo yanni hufnagel once or twice a week...so knowing yanni wuz an ivy league grad from the island i invited him to join me on a 4th of july weekend at friar's head & he asked me to take his dad (an avid golfer at new york munis instead)

tell yanni no problem sure let's do this...and with that being said huf's dad & me are sitting with 2 members (golf buddies of mine, harvard mba grads/wall street guys who got out early with generational wealth) on the patio overlooking the ocean eating lunch when yanni's dad asks our 2 hosts in a serious tone "so how much did you guys have to steal in order to join this place?"



yeah, cal's monster class wuz all about 50 year friendships, yanni is a very successful entrepreneur in so cal these days & his dad is still driving the old jewish ladies crazy on the island

ruh roh (we still laugh about that memorable lunch moment but not lindsay brauner)#
Yikes...hopefully those boys had a good sense of humor.
Shocky1
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kapalua tournament of champions pga 1st round update:


collin hit 17 greens in regulation, putted beautifully with more speed than usual (greens a bit slow this week), drove the ball inconsistently with his new driver & highlighted the round with a 20 foot eagle 3 on the par 5 9th hole


look shocky got a bunch of nda's in his life but it's possible he might've ghostwritten this letter last year for his buddy club pro guy


shut the **** up, shocky#
Shocky1
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kapalua tournament of champions pga 1st round update:


max homa with a near hole in one on the par 3 8th hole en route to a 6 under par 67, only blemish of the day wuz a bogey 5 on the par 4 6th hole when he drove it 46 yards from the green before his ding dong adventures...max's game is in a good place after his south africa victory in november

coming off his pga suspension for an illegal south korean sold over the counter cough medicine (recommended to him by his moms who competed in ping pong at the olympics back in the day) byeong ben an with a 5 under par 68 despite missing an under 3 foot gimme birdie on the 18th hole with his new broomstick putter
Shocky1
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one of the biggest mistakes dumb azzs make year after year is thinking you can graduate from an academically mediocre school and still have a similar opportunity to build generational wealth like grads from cal, stanford & the ivy leagues...convenience store/truck stop training programs constantly prove that
-shocky

https://instagr.am/p/CzmlHdGMrBR
don't be a dumb azz (like sai & jeremiah)#
HoopDreams
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Econ141 said:

Holy moly


Shocky1
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flipped on his oregon state silent commitment, whose sai gonna room with now?...dumb & dumber

the harvard of idaho (pack ur warmest jackets)#
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