cal's monster offensive line

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mbBear
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In reply to calumnus • 5:51p, 8/2/24
calumnus said:
mbBear said:
Cal88 said:
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CpVq4WnvSsS
88, my kids all visited/raved about the truly spectacular castle (have u visited the fairytale castle in the clouds in sintra portugal?...that's my favorite, see you tube below) at the chateau de chantilly while dad walked a brisk 18 as a single at the golf de chantilly vineueil course which wuz designed by the remarkably talented tom simpson (also the architect at my beloved morfontaine)...they also checked out the horsey stables & riding grounds, did u do that too?



as part of my golf ratings/evaluations shocky (who is arguably the top expert/aficionado of golf course architecture in the world) don't allow any distractions to detract from the pure experience so that means no golf carts, no note taking, no taking fotos & no keeping score

so during the round shocky knocked his fairway wood approach on the slightly uphill 414 meters (458 yards) par 4 12th into the front right bunker & made a nice save for a par 4...funny moment much later that nite on the terrace of the george x over un petitie celebratory slice of chocolate cake when the monster filled out his scorecard & realized that it's actually a par 5, it's the only birdie i've ever made in my life that i didn't know in real time wuz a birdie!!

kinda wonder if anybody ever played the rollercoaster par 6 18th hole at lake chabot without a scorecard & made what they thought wuz a par 5??

parlez-vous francais, 88??


Oui Shocky, it's my native language, hailing from the west side of Paris.

Yes I have been to the stables and horse museum at Chantilly, it is the French capital of equestrian sports, site of the local equivalent of the Kentucky Derby (Grand Prix de Chantilly). I've never been to Portugal, even though I've often visited Spain.
and..."I've never been to Spain but I've been to Oklahoma"....musical reference that I am referring to?? anyone????


Los Angeles California's Three Dog Night



You so nailed that!!!
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Shocky1
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1:55a, 8/3/24
https://instagr.am/p/C-DfA3oInrR
important fall camp practice #4 scheduling update:

due to an unavoidable scheduling conflict at memorial stadium with cal's nationally ranked quidditch team's exciting season opening match (jenny & knowlton will be throwing out the 1st broom which is customary for anti football/basketbll propagandists) against them quick twitch +1 athletic transylvania trannies & also markeisha's installation work schedule to innovatively add tarps over another 15,000+ seats (better for her sales metrics to add tarps than have more empty seats which is why she can't be bothered with pointless football billboards in atlanta & charlotte that nationally build the brand) the bears sunday practice at 9:30 am pacific coast standard time has been moved to lake como italia

fun fact: architecturally the ville d'este golf course is the BEST in italia, old school walkable tight routing design...leidy's current bf probably rides in a golf cart tho while smoking cigars, pounding brewskis, making sports book bets on his i-phone & ****

financially illiterate big 3 (wuz the big 4 until lowry recently retired) athletic department (sono solo soldi stupidi)#
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8:58a, 8/3/24

2024 paris golf olympics: 3rd round update

both ben & collin had it going for a while but double bogeys kinda stalled the deal, golf is really hard

and yeah ben got an olympics medal oppportunity tomorrow which would exempt him from south korea's male mandatory military requirement
https://golfweek.usatoday.com/2024/08/03/olympic-golf-2024-tom-kim-byeong-hun-an-south-korea/


no professional golfer wants to consider a career change/disruption or something but sometimes life comes at u fast (just ask michael weaver)
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Shocky1
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12:15p, 8/3/24

bears r the smartest animals on planet earth (sorry doggy dogs)#
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12:39p, 8/3/24
https://instagr.am/p/Ch-tdZLJRQ0
clothes r for losers (sorry becky g)#
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3:17p, 8/3/24

2025 4.48 40 SPEED running back tj lindsey from alexandria, louisiana (current lsu commit), yeah SPEED wins football games & gets u PAID in the national football league...ur gpa & a college degree from an ELITE academic university (not lsu) makes sure u not busing tables at shoney's at age 30 if u break ur leg or something as a tiger


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the bayou & commander's palace)#
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oskiswifeshusband
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In reply to Shocky1 • 3:41p, 8/3/24
Would be an awesome flip. Fairly surprised the staff hasn't been able to land a high caliber hs RB since Ott
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Shocky1
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3:55p, 8/3/24
oski'sbestfriendisadoggydog, 100% agreed, honestly think that until jaydn announced he's gonna get super close (hopefully fully earning that diploma he promised moms) to graduating this winter & declaring for the 2025 nfl draft (espn projects him as the #1 running back selection) that it wuz hard to get ELITE rb1 prospects to take official visits to berkeley

but with that being said, let's be very clear that shocky's favorite player along with cal's monster offensive line is oaktown's THE JET!!!! who got javid like burst/acceleration, once he gets a half a step on defenders he gone, see u later mofos!...everytime THE JET!!!! touches the ******* football u got action, the air at memorial stadium becomes electric with anticipation (even the seagulls circling from further afar high above the cannon on tightwad hill watch the unreal #25 action on the field)!


fun fact: shocky thinks rb2 kadarius calloway will be a late round draftee in the 2025 nfl draft
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Shocky1
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8:47p, 8/3/24

mikey looking kinda pale with a new ugly azz haircut & a dumb azz stache these days (SPEED kills)#
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9:59p, 8/3/24
https://instagr.am/p/Cuj-NLZL8Zs


cal football roadtrips r FUN (and yeah that even includes shreveport)!!!#
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9:14a, 8/4/24


2024 paris golf olympics: 4th round update

collin (missed 7 birdie putts under 15 feet on the back nine, bringing in his caddie jj on his green reads would solve a lotta problems) shot a 70 & ben shot a 72 as both finished tied for 24th

the olympics embody nations coming together worldwide thru athletics in moving towards one love & that's why it's 1000% great news that no players from the saudi arabia elite ruling class (not to be confused with the beautiful people of that country that daily struggle to put food on their tables) financed 9/11 terrorists & liv golf league will be on the podium receiving a medal

jon rahm is building a $25,000,000+ estate in the upper canyon of silverleaf in north scottsdale with his dirty liv money, shocky & his doggy dogs take a leak on his lot every time doing our hikes up the mountain

yeah **** the 9/11 terrorists, the liv 54 hole golf exhibitions/sportswashing & their spineless sold out puppets like jon rahm

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Shocky1
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10:27a, 8/4/24

the olympics got some goofy azz sports but with that being said shocky does watch the first 48 every now & then in order to further develop his homicide investigational skills kinda like rohme sr

fun fact: booing a contestant while sitting behind them during this specific competition would be a dumb decision that could lead to a **** situation

solving mysteries is FUN (it's elementary my dear sweetie)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 1:21p, 8/4/24
Shocky1 said:
econ, one of chancellor lyon's 1st steps of action upon his coronation july 1st wuz initiating an outside audit of the athletic department, this is a behind the scenes monster look at this report

https://instagr.am/p/C93Bv-TvvtY
______________________________________________________________________________

HIGHLY CLASSIFIED super duper top secret audit report re: the Cal Athletic Department for Chancellor Richard Lyons

Executive Summary: This is a ******* financial ****show!!!!

1st recommended corrective action: Chancellor Lyons should issue an Executive Proclamation from the top of the Campanille prior to the August 31, 2024 home game at Memorial Stadium against the UC Davis Aggies that ALL students are invited/welcomed to attend all Football and Basketball games for FREE!!!

The future of the University is going to need a significant infusion of NEW season tixs buyers and future mega donors to financially survive the expected severe budget cuts from the State of California. Attending Football and Basketball games at their alma mater is a critical pipeline measure to developing the necessary school spirit to ensure future generational wealth donations particularly as the current Berkeley donor pool is dying due to poor diets/excessive drinking and old age.

With the escalating number of 1st generation Berkeley college students who come from poor as **** socioeconomic backgrounds (like Shocky's moms back in the day) and an increasing number of international students who have never attended a Football and/or Basketball game in their native countries, it is critical that the future fanbase/Builders of Berkeley be inclusively exposed to the Magic of Cal Football and Basketball during their formative college years!!

Please note that if any of these students are a curvy brunette yoga female Shocky will personally sit by them on gamedays & explain the nuances of the sports to them.


2nd recommended corrective action: Personnel changes

James Arthur Knowlton: The "Con Artist" is financially illiterate with poor judgement (Mark Fox contract extension), possesses an anti Football and Basketball bias and functions as a seasonal part time worker from Colorado Springs, he should be terminated immediately as the current Athletic Director based upon his role in the McKeever suicidal women's swimmers scandal as documented in the Dan Mogulof 2nd outside legal counsel investigation.

Jennifer Simon-O'Neil: "Jenny" is truly evil as **** with an anti Football and Basketball bias who has been a bad human being since her Bay Area prep school days, she should be terminated immediately as the #2 in Charge based upon her role in the McKeever suicidal women's swimmers scandal as documented in the Dan Mogulof 2nd outside legal counsel investigation.

Andrew McGraw: The Berkeley grad should be immediately appointed as the acting Athletic Director with the understanding this will become a permanent promotion upon successful results.

Jay John: The most savvy person in the Athletic Department should be immediately appointed as the #2 in charge.

Markeisha Everrett: Should be immediately reassigned to Berkeley Campus Parking Enforcement pending her successful completion of all mandated defensive driving classes.

Sierra Achin-Cryns: The Berkeley grad should be immediately named Chief Financial Officer with the June 1, 2024 retirement of Tom Lowry who shared his useless bureaucratic's boss anti Football and Basketball bias.


3rd recommended corrective action: Righting the department to a financially sustainable number of sports programs in full compliance with Title IX.

Programs to be prioritized:

1) Football (118 counters): The HIGHEST priority for all future expenditures.
2) Men's Basketball (21): Revenue growth potential with Coach Madsen.
3) Women's Basketball (14): WBNA growth is explosive, Cal's WBB program is currently poorly marketed.
4) Men's Golf (11): The $37,000,000 current endowment is the highest of all cal sports teams including football.
5) Women's Golf (6): Significant donor support
6) Women's Gymnastic (15): Championship program
7) Women's Swimming & Diving (32): Championship program
8) Men's Swimming & Diving (38): Championship program
9) Women's Volleyball (17): Required by the ACC for membership
10) Men's Tennis (11): Significant donor support
11) Men's Water Polo (34): Championship program
12) Women's Rowing (60): Huge roster "counters" is key to overall Title IX compliance.
13) Women's Softball (23): Growth sport in the United States with high school females.
14) Women's Tennis (10): Championship program
15) Women's Water Polo (24): Championship program
16) Women's Soccer (31): Growth sport in the United States with high school females.

Programs to be terminated/reclassified as Club teams:

1) Baseball (46 counters): Terminated. The original $18,000,000 fundraising to save the program has been spent and the program talent gutted by the MLB draft and transfer portal this offseason. Evans Diamonds should be "sold" to the Central Campus to burn down the massive debt liabilities incurred by Knowlton with zero probability of future revenues to repay this debt as it becomes due and repurposed for the greater good of the University.
2) Men's Gymnastics (23): Reclassified as a club sport with no AD financial support.
3) Men's Rowing (69): Reclassified as a club sport with no AD financial support.
4) Rugby (53): Reclassified as a club sport with no AD financial support.
5) Men's Soccer (38): Reclassified as a club sport with no AD financial support.
6) Men's Track and Field (58): Terminated. Edwards Field should be "sold" to the Central Campus to burn down the massive debt liabilities incurred by Knowlton with zero probability of future revenues to repay this debt as it becomes due and repurposed for the greater good of the University.
7) Women's Track and Field (57): Terminated. See above.
8) Women's Beach Volleyball (18): Reclassified as a club sport with no AD financial support.
9) Women's Cross Country (16): Terminated
10) Men's Cross Country (13): Terminated
11) Women's Lacrosse (34): Reclassified as a club sport with no AD financial support.
12) Women's Field Hockey (28): Reclassified as a club sport with no AD financial support.

Bottom line, failure to take ACTION at this time would be a dumb decision and result in a further **** situation.

Chancellor Lyons, do you want your legacy to be the Chancellor who lost Berkeley's ranking as the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD??


MAJOR cal's monster class update: re shocky's initiative to have the big 3 (the con artist, jenny & markeisha) removed from power within the cal athletic department:

jon wilner's investigative article re: cal's estimated $200,000,000 acc revenues deficit does NOT quote either the athletic director or the associate director of communications/marketing...how BIZARRE, are they still collecting paychecks at this time?

instead the steely dan mogulof (shocky has communicated back and forth with the columbia grad re: his concerns) from the chancellor's office who initiated the 2nd law firm report/investigation into the role of jim & jenny in the mckeever suicidal women's swimmers fiasco which also included overt racism against black student athletes is the ONLY berkeley representative quoted in wilner's article (buying a subscription is highly recommended)

the article also quotes mogulof that berkeley is evaluating "the role that philanthropy can and should play" in funding athletics and that "we will keep the public and community well informed..."...does that mean Knowlton's Know Nothing Notes that are ghostwritten by markeisha will contain future updates re: financial matters???

yeah this **** is getting live
__________________________________________

Statement from Cal vice chancellor for external communications Dan Mogulof:
"While the move to the ACC has created a revenue challenge, we are fortunate that our new Chancellor, Rich Lyons, is both well versed in financial issues and fully committed to protecting Cal Athletics' excellence, and the essential role it plays in the life of the university.
"Chancellor Lyons is now in listening mode, getting up to speed on the details and the perspectives of our stakeholders, with a particular interest in the role philanthropy can and should play going forward, and an acute awareness of the stakes. We will keep the public and our community well informed as the planning and decision-making process progresses.
"Beyond the dollars and cents, there is a great deal of excitement here about officially becoming a member of the ACC on Friday. Providing our student-athletes with the ability to successfully compete at the highest levels, and, at the same time, to thrive academically, is and will remain our primary focus."
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Shocky1
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5:02p, 8/4/24
https://instagr.am/p/CsMR6urLXUT
asu update: ben coleman is gonna start at left guard, decarlos broker is quicker this fall at 210 lbs vs 222 last season & the devils 2 most upside wrs are melquan stovall (bro of melquise) & jordan tyson (bro of jaylon)

forks up#

arizona state university=#1 ranked stripper college in the united states of america
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8:09p, 8/4/24

2024 fall camp: practice #4


non predictable playcalling: marv lewis, tim deruyter & shocky are amazed at the above inside slant touchdown route from chandler rogers to true freshman trevor rogers (who got elite SPEED), coach bloesch & coach gilbert are breaking away from the coach wilcox influenced failure to attack the middle 3rd of the field

this camp corey dyches & jack endries are absolute +1 athletic nightmare mismatches over the middle against defenders, the bears offense got a breath of fresh air with the innovative offense that attacks all regions of the field

could the 1st play of the 2024 season against them uc davis aggies on saturday august 31st be a PITCHOUT on the edge in wide open space for all american jaydn ott???


fighting: unlike past cal camps during the coach wilcox era of even tempered candy azz soft competition, there have been a ****ton of physical skirmishes well beyond the whistle with cal's monster offensive line finally for ****'s sake imposing their will

the #1 fighter is fiery as **** newcomer will mcdonald (his non stop motor is reminiscent of future head coach in training mike saffell) who don't back down to nobody, luv this guy!!!


^ shocky after nailing a headstand crunch sequence at modern yoga!!

yeah after 3 major fights coach wilcox called practice early & the made the team run while calling out "let's go tough guys!!"...my sage advice to every player on the team is to just ignore justin just like shocky does, this team needs a nasty azz edginess to win 10+ games in 2024





football is a violent sport (knock somebody on their ******* azz)#



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and yeah we're all ******* black beetles, release the cash haters mad for whatever reason)
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Shocky1
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9:32p, 8/4/24

real talk: the next time the monster robs a wells fargo (how else do u think he's gonna pay for his doggy dog fundraising & global world top100 golfing adventures?) shocky is gonna take will mcdonald as his point man riding shotgun

fun fact: me & will would probably wear buc-ee face masks or something, that would be a logistical/operational decision that would need to be determined in advance



ride or die (wut battles r u fighting during ur time on planet earth?)#
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golden sloth
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:39p, 8/4/24
Shocky1 said:

real talk: the next time the monster robs a wells fargo (how else do u think he's gonna pay for his doggy dog fundraising & global world top100 golfing adventures?) shocky is gonna take will mcdonald as his point man riding shotgun



ride or die (wut battles r u fighting during ur time on planet earth?)#


Get that man a giant state flag of California!
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10:45p, 8/4/24

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8:14a, 8/5/24

sorry oski but u been replaced by buc-ee at the university of calveston
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Shocky1
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3:02p, 8/5/24

2024 fall camp: practice #5

IMPORTANT message to all bears football players: do NOT watch the below video, just continue to ignore coach wilcox like shocky does & let's keep that bad azz violent kung fu fighting **** going, ok??



KABOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!...unlike justin, shocks got multiple black belts or something with expert timing, let's get it on, he is fast as lightning & yeah it wuz a little bit frightening at stinson beach high school back in the day

yeah the cal football equipment 32 wheeler is being rebranded with the following innovative new university of calveston slogan printed on the side: "WE WILL ***** U UP, THIS IS BEAR TERRITORY"

even our new mascot buc-ee (unlike that day drinking academically ineligible oski whose now residing at the silverado sunny side rehab home in yountville behind the french laundry) don't take no **** from nobody!!!



the days of candy azz soft bears r gone forever (WE WILL **** U UP, THIS IS BEAR TERRITORY)#
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Econ141
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5:12p, 8/5/24


Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:31p, 8/5/24
Shocky1 said:

2024 fall camp: practice #5

IMPORTANT message to all bears football players: do NOT watch the below video, just continue to ignore coach wilcox like shocky does & let's keep that bad azz violent kung fu fighting **** going, ok??



KABOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!...unlike justin, shocks got multiple black belts or something with expert timing, let's get it on, he is fast as lightning & yeah it wuz a little bit frightening at stinson beach high school back in the day

yeah the cal football equipment 32 wheeler is being rebranded with the following innovative new university of calveston slogan printed on the side: "WE WILL ***** U UP, THIS IS BEAR TERRITORY"

even our new mascot buc-ee (unlike that day drinking academically ineligible oski whose now residing at the silverado sunny side rehab home in yountville behind the french laundry) don't take no **** from nobody!!!



the days of candy azz soft bears r gone forever (WE WILL **** U UP, THIS IS BEAR TERRITORY)#


Justin has all the coach passion of Tom Holmoe. I predict that he will have a fine career as an AD. Of course, unlike Holmoe, he will leave head coaching with generational wealth if he just knows how to shove his money into an S&P 500 fund. So who needs a retirement AD job.
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Shocky1
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7:58p, 8/5/24


huge props to jim mcgill for asking jack endries about the tight end blocking (mediocre at best in 2023, that will change with future head coach in training the fiery coach saffell in 2024) & also the wide receiver blocking (the worst blocking unit in d1 college football in 2023) which wuz somewhere between non existent & lousy as **** last season

hopefully jim will ask coach toler about wide receiver blocking (he's never been held accountable for the abysmal blocking during the wilcox era in berkeley, the nfl draft evaluations however have noted this lack of skillset development of his wideouts) when burl (who is the king of blah blah blah everybody will block or not play blah blah blah) is interviewed during fall camp

with 9-10 wrs in serious consideration for playing time in the program's most competitively stacked room, blocking should be the key differentiator on who plays & who rides the bench...where are the video clips of this championship kinda blocking in berkeley??????????????????????



the bears got guys with SPEED that can catch the football but whose gonna throw an israel adesayna kinda knockout lethal block this fall in an acc road game at a hostile faraway venue on 3rd & 3 in the 4th quarter of a tied game to keep the drive alive??


football is a violent sport (and blocking wins football games)#
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Cal88
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In reply to Econ141 • 8:04p, 8/5/24
Econ141 said:



Good thing we don't play Louisville this year...
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8:12p, 8/5/24
^ 88, cal's transfer portal newcomers of ELITE talent is way better than 10th, these rankings are biased to programs with more (quantity over quality) incoming transfers

fun fact: berkeley grad myles jernigan will be starting for the cardinals this fall

fun fact ii: shocky drove by the louisville stadium (which is relatively close to the airport) on the way to the pga championship at valhalla this may, that will be a FUN roadtrip in the future
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Cal88
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:42p, 8/5/24
Shocky1 said:
^ 88, cal's transfer portal newcomers of ELITE talent is way better than 10th, these rankings are biased to programs with more (quantity over quality) incoming transfers

fun fact: berkeley grad myles jernigan will be starting for the cardinals this fall

fun fact ii: shocky drove by the louisville stadium (which is relatively close to the airport) on the way to the pga championship at valhalla this may, that will be a FUN roadtrip in the future

Bodes well Shocky!

I hope the team and new guys gel quickly, because our toughest 3 games (@Auburn, @FSU, Miami) are week 2, 4 and 5...
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Shocky1
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9:47p, 8/5/24
100% 88, good point that we'll know the story by the end of the september/early october gauntlet
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golden sloth
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:09p, 8/5/24
Shocky1 said:
100% 88, good point that we'll know the story... ... by the end of the september/early october gauntlet


That the whole damn world is bear territory!
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6:20a, 8/6/24
^ slothy, cal football is outta time (rip blueblood), this **** is getting live!!!

https://instagr.am/p/C8DdoCwvjiM


the tigers r at the gate#
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eastcoastcal
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7:11a, 8/6/24
as per the practice reports, the practices have been getting a bit chippy + a bit of fighting. Love to see some attitude & edge on the team!
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Shocky1
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7:39a, 8/6/24
https://instagr.am/p/CTsRRk9DcTt
^ coastie, r u gonna be in berkeley this fall on gamedays (maybe we could watch pregame warm ups/the player hype celebration in the tunnel again) or r u back home in westchester country (maybe we could meet for dinner in the city next time shocky visits his daughter taylor in the west village, maybe the key person in the con artist personnel matter columbia grad dan mogulof might join us) starting new adventures with a degree from the #1 public university in the world??

fun fact: tay wants her dad to move to manhattan (new york city, not kansas state)

how's that visiting every mlb stadium quest going (that's a better quest than tryna visit every shoneys like coach sirmon)?
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Shocky1
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8:15a, 8/6/24
will the cal football social media team evah show a blocking clip in this lifetime??

championship football programs demand relentless offensive blocking from their wideouts (mediocre programs repeatedly dial up 1-2 yard blown up wr screens with zero physical perimeter blocking)#
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Shocky1
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12:03p, 8/6/24

shocky just gotta off the phone with his peachtree (architecturally the best course in atlanta & it's not even close, it's where southern power brokers do their deals & its got more augusta national members than any other club in the world) golf buddy firming up our tee time with slim wadie days prior to the auburn game

mr wheel of fortune is a mega georgia football donor & when shocky asked him why demetris robertson transferred to auburn for his final year of eligibility he just tole me that the +2 athletic robertson "could not block well enough to see the field" in athens...he admits bulldogs boosters paid for demetris to return back to georgia which wuz a key factor in his transfer from cal along with berkeley admissions denying entrance to his twin sister shanetris who wuz running track at laney jc


not sure if coach toler fully realizes that his wideouts systematic failure to block not only is a key factor in the cal football program not winning more games (which requires getting 3rd & 3 rushing 1st downs to keep the chains moving in tight games, the bears are the kings of the 1 score loss during the coach wilcox era) but also a key deterrent to his guys getting drafted in the national football league which scouts/prioritizes blocking as a mandatory skillset

wut's the solution?

coach bloesch & coach toler need to tell the hard working joc upton & cole johnson that absolutely every single snap during fall ball will be graded by them re: each wide receivers blocking performances and then advise the highly competitive wide receivers rooms that these cumulative blocking scores will play a major determining factor in the 2024 wideout playing rotation

back in the day mr wheel of fortune got me my future yoga buddy jaylen brown's phone number when he wuz in high school, his beyond breaking bad stories about a former georgia men's basketball coach only confirm that knowlton did zero homework & has no contacts in the collegiate coaching circles when he hired & then remarkably extended the unlikeable fox


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Econ141
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In reply to Shocky1 • 12:08p, 8/6/24
Totally agree on the WR blocking. Hard to see Toler changing unless he is held accountable for it. Shouldn't our OC whose years of o-line coaching experience be a huge asset to Toler? He is best to hold him accountable and help the WRs become better blockers. Or does o-line coaching not translate here?
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Shocky1
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12:10p, 8/6/24
econ, shocky's above post has been edited with the necessary "solution"
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