cal's monster offensive line

2,182,708 Views | 12623 Replies | Last: 1 hr ago by Shocky1
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
^ multiple individuals have tole me it wuz extremely awkward during the independence bowl week in shreveport when knowlton invited himself to hand out diplomas to the graduating berkeley seniors, his lack of self awareness (clueless re: how others perceive him) is truly remarkable
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Shocky1 said:


2024 fall camp: practice #10 (and scrimmage #1)

quarterback battle: chandler rogers threw for 3,382 yards with 29 touchdowns vs only 5 interceptions last season at north texas & today in memorial stadium he threw a td strike to the bears #1 receiver tobias merriweather on a busted coverage assignment & a near td to ben "where's shoneys?" marshall...fernando mendoza is looking solid too but gotta luv the extra mobility/escapability of chandler in this ongoing qb1 battle

nfl prospects watch: marcus harris got elite national football league SPEED, the successful recruitments of the 2 longtime amigos marcus & tobias merriweather is significantly changing the upward trajectory of the cal football program this fall as the bears head into acc battles, these guys are elite playmakers on the nfl radar

inside backers: all american prospect cade uluave & teddye buchanan are bonding on & off the field (why aren't their lockers directly next to each other?) and are the braintrust of wut will be a much more violent & explosive d in 2024...and zony hunter barth is gonna get a lotta critical snaps this season, the battle for the #4 depth inside backer is ongoing with alaska walk on aaron hampton slightly ahead of the pack which includes liam johnson who is injured

cal's monster offensive line: better than last season, light years improved over the angus no attention to detail era but we need to get poly bad azz sioape vatikani (boot on foot) healthy again at right guard...pairing vati with the unit's #1 standout trench worker right tackle tj session should give the bears the force of nature to impose their will on 3rd & 3 run calls which have mostly failed during the coach wilcox era of bad o-line play & abysmal non existent wide receiver blocking...right now the line is a ****show with multiple drive killing penalties & porous pass pro giving up 9 sacks today

defensive line: the bears are missing an injured ricky correia which is generating snaps with the 1s for the physically savvy warrior aidan keanaaina (4.0 gpa) next to the focused tj bollers (4.0 gpa) with the fearless stanley stole-mckenize always ready to roll...back up zurich ashford is injured

running back: true freshman texas bad azz jamaal wiley carried the load with 8 carries for 63 yards including a 31 yard touchdown...the other power back justin-williams thomas is injured

outside backers depth: coach so'oto got 2 violent potential all acc starters in david reese & xavier carlton (injured) but it's wide open in the 2s competition...ryan mcculloch is the 1st guy in off the bench, myles williams got experience & today both serigne tounkara & cheikhsaliou fall flashed at times

safety: the bears need potential nfl prospect craig woodson to get healthy & lead this unit...miles williams is winning the battle right now to be the other starter but the offseason infusion of crazy azz SPEED in ja'ir smith (injured), ryan yaites, cam sidney (5 tackles today) & isaiah "buc-ee jr" crosby is making this a ultra competitive room which will also materially impact the bears punt & kickoff coverage units

corners: the starters are marcus harris & nohl williams with nickel matthew littlejohn with the experienced lu magia hearns & collin gamble getting a lotta gameday snaps...SPEEDY transfer jasiah wagoner is injured

wideouts: potential starter mikey matthews & freshman phenom josiah martin are both injured, SPEEDY nyziah hunter caught a couple of downfield strikes in the vertical passing game

special teams: long snapper david bird is a future nfl 10+ year veteran if he avoid injuries, punter lachlan wilson gotta lotta confidence right now & kicker ryan coe got nfl leg strength but needs to continue to develop his accuracy...unreturnable kick offs is gonna be a welcome change & take pressure off the special teams gunners/kickoff coverage unit

injuries: negatively affecting the team's ability to field a opening game lineup at this time, jaylen brown has tole me that a major factor in his avoiding major injuries is the flexibility that his yoga practice affords him in absorbing violent physical contact...the staff has not made yoga part of the ineffectual injury plagued s&c regime which is not a particularly enlightened or innovative approach to avoiding injuries


https://instagr.am/p/C-yM_8ZyiY4
2024 fall camp: practice #15 (and scrimmage #2)

overview: a physical long evaluation scrimmage with 100+ snaps & 20 possession with the 1st team defense matching up against the 1st team offense on 7 drives with the salty "flying around" bears d forcing them off the field 6 of those times while allowing only a 52 yard field goal

cal's monster offensive line: the injured cal offense wuz ineffectual with the struggling offensive line allowing 11 sacks (9 sacks in scrimmage #1) on the day...the most important issue right now is the health of right guard sioape vatikani who is in a boot, vati is a difference maker in coach bloesch's offense...the starting 5 today left to right: nick morrow, rush reimer, will mcdonald, bastian swinney & tj sessions

battle for qb1: no touchdowns against the starting defense
*****fernando mendoza: 11 of 19, 128 yards with 1 touchdown
*****chandler rogers: 5 of 11, 62 yard with 1 touchdown
*****cj harris: 11 of 18, 121 yards with 1 touchdown & 1 interception

running backs: zero holes with continued sorry azz wide receiver blocking, no runs more than a couple of yards...jaydn ott with 4 carries for 20 yards & oaktown's THE JET!!!! did not play

wide receiver blocking: non existent as usual, the cal football program is not gonna survive another season of abysmal candy azz soft blocking by coach toler's room

sack master of the day: true freshman inside backer 4.0 gpa (stanford decommit) luke ferrelli who got spidey man instincts in a crowd with 2 sacks

taker mvp: isaiah crosby with the only interception of the scrimmage on the final drive

alpha predator male: floridian olb david reese talks **** & backs it up on the football field, "get that **** outta here!!!"

surprise standout of the day: after sitting out spring ball while getting acclimated to berkeley academics nyziah hunter demonstrated his elite SPEED with 7 receptions for 144 yards & a touchdown!!!

field goal kicking: kicker ryan coe is an elite weapon with his navy seal buzzcut, got ice in his veins knocking in 42 & 52 yard field goals & only missing from 56 yards...freshman walk on derek morris took the back up kicking reps



cal football is outta time (2 weeks until the SHOW)#
sonofabear51
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Jeebus

Not good.
Start Slowly and taper off
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?


this is cal football (NOT a finished product, working harder to get better)#
HoopDreams
How long do you want to ignore this user?
I attended the call with Lyons and JK

It was hosted by a women in the Athletic Department but I didn't catch her name. The new Head of the Cal NIL program attended, as did Coach Charmin

Unfortunately, I was multi-tasking so I didn't catch it all, so I might have missed something completely or didn't catch the comment accurately. With that said, I wouldn't repeat much on a public board anyway.

A couple of things I took away:

- Lyons is a very enthusiastic and engaging person. Certainly different personality than prior Cal Chancellors.

- He said something along the lines that Cal sports (not sure if he said football/basketball specifically or Cal sports in general) is the number one connection to Cal alumni ... perhaps someone can confirm/clarify this with more accuracy?

- He talked about donations to endow sports as PART of strategy

- At least one (and I think two) shoutouts to Sebasta!

- the head of NIL gave a briefing and it sounded substantive. I wish I paid closer attention to this part.

- Charmin gave examples how NIL helped retain two key players (didn't name names)

- I didn't remember anything of note from JK. Maybe I just missed it



Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
sonofabear51 said:

Jeebus

Not good.
https://instagr.am/p/C9A9wGORVO0
51, with a much needed infusion of multiple players portal transfer SPEED in the defensive backfield particularly nfl prospect marcus harris, the grad transfer addition of standout teddye buchanan to round out an ELITE 4 man starting linebacking room & hopefully a healthy defensive line, this is shaping up to be the BEST defense of the coach wilcox era if coach sirmon will DIAL UP the pressure on opposing qbs (playing to win is different that tryna play to not lose)

offensively we got the #1 running back selection in the 2025 national football league draft, if he gets PITCHOUTS dialed up for him in open space on the edges jaydn ott is gonna be OFF TO THE ******* RACES!!!!...so the big questions are getting vati back for cal's monster offensive line & holding coach toler's room of SPEED based wideouts accountable for blocking, if this happens the offense is gonna score points

shocky is gonna watch every second of the exciting 2025 acc innagural season in person, it's gonna be challenging at times but there's a lotta really good human beings on planet earth in this football program who are 100% committed to making this fall SPECIAL

plz don't mistake shocky's harsh objectivity with a lack of optimism





the magic of cal football (resides in all of our hearts, this is the struggle that must be & then we're OFF TO THE ******* RACES!!!!)#
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
oregon state depth chart update: thru yesterday's scrimmage jermaine terry is the starting tight end & both nickel back sai vadrawale & tight end andy alfieri are running with the 2s
golden sloth
How long do you want to ignore this user?
For those that have been attending practice, what is the initial of opinion of 3rd string qb CJ Harris? Can he be a serviceable backup in case both Mendoza and Roger's go down?

With the reports of the o line struggles, I'm worried about the health of the QBs and dont want a 2021 Arizona retread.
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
keo update: as of friday's tcu practice he's running with the 2s, it wuz a dumb decision to transfer to a program that schematically usually plays only 2 linebackers & throwing away a berkeley degree which will be real obvious to him when he's 30 & living at home while working security at the hesperian shopping center in hayward
oskiswifeshusband
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Not a bad move for either. They wouldn't have cracked the 2deep, maybe not even the 3 deep.

Also speaks for the quality or the lack of, for the osu depth
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
^ agreed from a football perspective (tho none of these 3 guys will evah earn a dollar in the nfl) & while andy got a berkeley degree both bay area natives sai & jermaine assuming they finish their oregon states degrees are looking at the supervisor training program at the flying beaver convenience store in coos bay in a couple of years from now
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?



2024 st jude pga tournament at tpc southwind: 4th round update

collin morikawa: got his driver timing finally synched up hitting 11 of 14 fairways en route to a championship form 67 with 4 birdie putts including one on the 18th hole literally creasing the edge of the hole (gotta luv the smile afterwards)...and yeah shocky is gonna be coaching up collin next week at castle pines which is a nicklaus design (half of morikawa's 6 victories have been on jack designed courses: montreux, the concession & muirfield village)...furthermore castle pines is at 5,000+ elevation just like montreux in truckee, it will be a very challenging adjustment to the altitude/bent greens for the jupiter florida bermuda greens guys while favoring west coast based pros who've ostensibly played more mountain golf

ben an: some crazy azz stats for the week: 2nd in strokes gained around the greens & 4th in driving distance but also in second to last place in driving accuracy...bomb & gauge out wedges in a full attack mode, baby!!!...a very good 69 today & ben's game with a little pre tournament work on refining his drives is sharp enough to compete next week in colorado

max homa: good to see max smiling after a birdie on the tough par 4 18th hole playing in a friendly 1st group out (played in a little over 3 hours) betting match (homa gonna get a call tomorrow from the pga staff re: gambling!) with jordan spieth en route to a 70...fun fact: shocky thinks max's game is closer to great golf that mr poopy diapers thinks it is
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?

EXCLUSVE cal's monster class footage of the cal men's golf team 1st practice round/team bonding get together at tilden park under the direction of new head coach michael wilson...coach say his bears "got some serious high gpa competitors who don't back down to a challenge"

whatever (shocky kinda wishes our wideouts wuz this physical when BLOCKING on the perimeter, there's more contact in this video than saturday's scrimmage)

ruh roh#

cal golf note: the monster will NOT be providing any coverage re: recent berkeley grad sampson zheng who is playing in the asia tour international series in his quest to join the 9/11 terrorist financed liv 54 golf exhibition tour...sampson should visit the twin towers memorial in lower manhattan someday
Pittstop
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


2024 fall camp: practice #10 (and scrimmage #1)

quarterback battle: chandler rogers threw for 3,382 yards with 29 touchdowns vs only 5 interceptions last season at north texas & today in memorial stadium he threw a td strike to the bears #1 receiver tobias merriweather on a busted coverage assignment & a near td to ben "where's shoneys?" marshall...fernando mendoza is looking solid too but gotta luv the extra mobility/escapability of chandler in this ongoing qb1 battle

nfl prospects watch: marcus harris got elite national football league SPEED, the successful recruitments of the 2 longtime amigos marcus & tobias merriweather is significantly changing the upward trajectory of the cal football program this fall as the bears head into acc battles, these guys are elite playmakers on the nfl radar

inside backers: all american prospect cade uluave & teddye buchanan are bonding on & off the field (why aren't their lockers directly next to each other?) and are the braintrust of wut will be a much more violent & explosive d in 2024...and zony hunter barth is gonna get a lotta critical snaps this season, the battle for the #4 depth inside backer is ongoing with alaska walk on aaron hampton slightly ahead of the pack which includes liam johnson who is injured

cal's monster offensive line: better than last season, light years improved over the angus no attention to detail era but we need to get poly bad azz sioape vatikani (boot on foot) healthy again at right guard...pairing vati with the unit's #1 standout trench worker right tackle tj session should give the bears the force of nature to impose their will on 3rd & 3 run calls which have mostly failed during the coach wilcox era of bad o-line play & abysmal non existent wide receiver blocking...right now the line is a ****show with multiple drive killing penalties & porous pass pro giving up 9 sacks today

defensive line: the bears are missing an injured ricky correia which is generating snaps with the 1s for the physically savvy warrior aidan keanaaina (4.0 gpa) next to the focused tj bollers (4.0 gpa) with the fearless stanley stole-mckenize always ready to roll...back up zurich ashford is injured

running back: true freshman texas bad azz jamaal wiley carried the load with 8 carries for 63 yards including a 31 yard touchdown...the other power back justin-williams thomas is injured

outside backers depth: coach so'oto got 2 violent potential all acc starters in david reese & xavier carlton (injured) but it's wide open in the 2s competition...ryan mcculloch is the 1st guy in off the bench, myles williams got experience & today both serigne tounkara & cheikhsaliou fall flashed at times

safety: the bears need potential nfl prospect craig woodson to get healthy & lead this unit...miles williams is winning the battle right now to be the other starter but the offseason infusion of crazy azz SPEED in ja'ir smith (injured), ryan yaites, cam sidney (5 tackles today) & isaiah "buc-ee jr" crosby is making this a ultra competitive room which will also materially impact the bears punt & kickoff coverage units

corners: the starters are marcus harris & nohl williams with nickel matthew littlejohn with the experienced lu magia hearns & collin gamble getting a lotta gameday snaps...SPEEDY transfer jasiah wagoner is injured

wideouts: potential starter mikey matthews & freshman phenom josiah martin are both injured, SPEEDY nyziah hunter caught a couple of downfield strikes in the vertical passing game

special teams: long snapper david bird is a future nfl 10+ year veteran if he avoid injuries, punter lachlan wilson gotta lotta confidence right now & kicker ryan coe got nfl leg strength but needs to continue to develop his accuracy...unreturnable kick offs is gonna be a welcome change & take pressure off the special teams gunners/kickoff coverage unit

injuries: negatively affecting the team's ability to field a opening game lineup at this time, jaylen brown has tole me that a major factor in his avoiding major injuries is the flexibility that his yoga practice affords him in absorbing violent physical contact...the staff has not made yoga part of the ineffectual injury plagued s&c regime which is not a particularly enlightened or innovative approach to avoiding injuries


https://instagr.am/p/C-yM_8ZyiY4
2024 fall camp: practice #15 (and scrimmage #2)

overview: a physical long evaluation scrimmage with 100+ snaps & 20 possession with the 1st team defense matching up against the 1st team offense on 7 drives with the salty "flying around" bears d forcing them off the field 6 of those times while allowing only a 52 yard field goal

cal's monster offensive line: the injured cal offense wuz ineffectual with the struggling offensive line allowing 11 sacks (9 sacks in scrimmage #1) on the day...the most important issue right now is the health of right guard sioape vatikani who is in a boot, vati is a difference maker in coach bloesch's offense...the starting 5 today left to right: nick morrow, rush reimer, will mcdonald, bastian swinney & tj sessions

battle for qb1: no touchdowns against the starting defense
*****fernando mendoza: 11 of 19, 128 yards with 1 touchdown
*****chandler rogers: 5 of 11, 62 yard with 1 touchdown
*****cj harris: 11 of 18, 121 yards with 1 touchdown & 1 interception

running backs: zero holes with continued sorry azz wide receiver blocking, no runs more than a couple of yards...jaydn ott with 4 carries for 20 yards & oaktown's THE JET!!!! did not play

wide receiver blocking: non existent as usual, the cal football program is not gonna survive another season of abysmal candy azz soft blocking by coach toler's room

sack master of the day: true freshman inside backer 4.0 gpa (stanford decommit) luke ferrelli who got spidey man instincts in a crowd with 2 sacks

taker mvp: isaiah crosby with the only interception of the scrimmage on the final drive

alpha predator male: floridian olb david reese talks **** & backs it up on the football field, "get that **** outta here!!!"

surprise standout of the day: after sitting out spring ball while getting acclimated to berkeley academics nyziah hunter demonstrated his elite SPEED with 7 receptions for 144 yards & a touchdown!!!

field goal kicking: kicker ryan coe is an elite weapon with his navy seal buzzcut, got ice in his veins knocking in 42 & 52 yard field goals & only missing from 56 yards...freshman walk on derek morris took the back up kicking reps



cal football is outta time (2 weeks until the SHOW)#



JW doesn't sound super satisfied or super confident in where the team is at, execution wise, this close to go time.
bearsandgiants
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Can he just play with a boot? Is the fall off really that bad? I'm 5'11" 200. I can at least give the qb a few seconds to pass and not whiff on every snap. I'm frankly tired of the damn excuses.
calumnus
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Pittstop said:

Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


2024 fall camp: practice #10 (and scrimmage #1)

quarterback battle: chandler rogers threw for 3,382 yards with 29 touchdowns vs only 5 interceptions last season at north texas & today in memorial stadium he threw a td strike to the bears #1 receiver tobias merriweather on a busted coverage assignment & a near td to ben "where's shoneys?" marshall...fernando mendoza is looking solid too but gotta luv the extra mobility/escapability of chandler in this ongoing qb1 battle

nfl prospects watch: marcus harris got elite national football league SPEED, the successful recruitments of the 2 longtime amigos marcus & tobias merriweather is significantly changing the upward trajectory of the cal football program this fall as the bears head into acc battles, these guys are elite playmakers on the nfl radar

inside backers: all american prospect cade uluave & teddye buchanan are bonding on & off the field (why aren't their lockers directly next to each other?) and are the braintrust of wut will be a much more violent & explosive d in 2024...and zony hunter barth is gonna get a lotta critical snaps this season, the battle for the #4 depth inside backer is ongoing with alaska walk on aaron hampton slightly ahead of the pack which includes liam johnson who is injured

cal's monster offensive line: better than last season, light years improved over the angus no attention to detail era but we need to get poly bad azz sioape vatikani (boot on foot) healthy again at right guard...pairing vati with the unit's #1 standout trench worker right tackle tj session should give the bears the force of nature to impose their will on 3rd & 3 run calls which have mostly failed during the coach wilcox era of bad o-line play & abysmal non existent wide receiver blocking...right now the line is a ****show with multiple drive killing penalties & porous pass pro giving up 9 sacks today

defensive line: the bears are missing an injured ricky correia which is generating snaps with the 1s for the physically savvy warrior aidan keanaaina (4.0 gpa) next to the focused tj bollers (4.0 gpa) with the fearless stanley stole-mckenize always ready to roll...back up zurich ashford is injured

running back: true freshman texas bad azz jamaal wiley carried the load with 8 carries for 63 yards including a 31 yard touchdown...the other power back justin-williams thomas is injured

outside backers depth: coach so'oto got 2 violent potential all acc starters in david reese & xavier carlton (injured) but it's wide open in the 2s competition...ryan mcculloch is the 1st guy in off the bench, myles williams got experience & today both serigne tounkara & cheikhsaliou fall flashed at times

safety: the bears need potential nfl prospect craig woodson to get healthy & lead this unit...miles williams is winning the battle right now to be the other starter but the offseason infusion of crazy azz SPEED in ja'ir smith (injured), ryan yaites, cam sidney (5 tackles today) & isaiah "buc-ee jr" crosby is making this a ultra competitive room which will also materially impact the bears punt & kickoff coverage units

corners: the starters are marcus harris & nohl williams with nickel matthew littlejohn with the experienced lu magia hearns & collin gamble getting a lotta gameday snaps...SPEEDY transfer jasiah wagoner is injured

wideouts: potential starter mikey matthews & freshman phenom josiah martin are both injured, SPEEDY nyziah hunter caught a couple of downfield strikes in the vertical passing game

special teams: long snapper david bird is a future nfl 10+ year veteran if he avoid injuries, punter lachlan wilson gotta lotta confidence right now & kicker ryan coe got nfl leg strength but needs to continue to develop his accuracy...unreturnable kick offs is gonna be a welcome change & take pressure off the special teams gunners/kickoff coverage unit

injuries: negatively affecting the team's ability to field a opening game lineup at this time, jaylen brown has tole me that a major factor in his avoiding major injuries is the flexibility that his yoga practice affords him in absorbing violent physical contact...the staff has not made yoga part of the ineffectual injury plagued s&c regime which is not a particularly enlightened or innovative approach to avoiding injuries


https://instagr.am/p/C-yM_8ZyiY4
2024 fall camp: practice #15 (and scrimmage #2)

overview: a physical long evaluation scrimmage with 100+ snaps & 20 possession with the 1st team defense matching up against the 1st team offense on 7 drives with the salty "flying around" bears d forcing them off the field 6 of those times while allowing only a 52 yard field goal

cal's monster offensive line: the injured cal offense wuz ineffectual with the struggling offensive line allowing 11 sacks (9 sacks in scrimmage #1) on the day...the most important issue right now is the health of right guard sioape vatikani who is in a boot, vati is a difference maker in coach bloesch's offense...the starting 5 today left to right: nick morrow, rush reimer, will mcdonald, bastian swinney & tj sessions

battle for qb1: no touchdowns against the starting defense
*****fernando mendoza: 11 of 19, 128 yards with 1 touchdown
*****chandler rogers: 5 of 11, 62 yard with 1 touchdown
*****cj harris: 11 of 18, 121 yards with 1 touchdown & 1 interception

running backs: zero holes with continued sorry azz wide receiver blocking, no runs more than a couple of yards...jaydn ott with 4 carries for 20 yards & oaktown's THE JET!!!! did not play

wide receiver blocking: non existent as usual, the cal football program is not gonna survive another season of abysmal candy azz soft blocking by coach toler's room

sack master of the day: true freshman inside backer 4.0 gpa (stanford decommit) luke ferrelli who got spidey man instincts in a crowd with 2 sacks

taker mvp: isaiah crosby with the only interception of the scrimmage on the final drive

alpha predator male: floridian olb david reese talks **** & backs it up on the football field, "get that **** outta here!!!"

surprise standout of the day: after sitting out spring ball while getting acclimated to berkeley academics nyziah hunter demonstrated his elite SPEED with 7 receptions for 144 yards & a touchdown!!!

field goal kicking: kicker ryan coe is an elite weapon with his navy seal buzzcut, got ice in his veins knocking in 42 & 52 yard field goals & only missing from 56 yards...freshman walk on derek morris took the back up kicking reps



cal football is outta time (2 weeks until the SHOW)#



JW doesn't sound super satisfied or super confident in where the team is at, execution wise, this close to go time.


There are serious questions on both sides of the ball, especially the lines. I have my doubts about Bloesch as OC, especially without a dominant OL, but have read some favorable comments from Mean Green fans about his creativity. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
bearsandgiants said:

Can he just play with a boot? Is the fall off really that bad? I'm 5'11" 200. I can at least give the qb a few seconds to pass and not whiff on every snap. I'm frankly tired of the damn excuses.
sioape is outta the boot!!!!
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Pittstop said:


JW doesn't sound super satisfied or super confident in where the team is at, execution wise, this close to go time.
pitts, justin is not the most outwardly emotionally available person (shocky took psych 1 in berkeley back in the day) on planet earth but if sioape gets cleared by the medical staff, if coach bloesch dials up PITCHOUTS in open space on the edges to take advantage of jaydn's nfl SPEED and if burl's room starts violently BLOCKING in the run game on the perimeter then mr frowny face can transform into a high wattage SMILE in literally a blink of an eye

yeah shocky smiles a lot but then he again he's seen THE JET!!!! run with the football on a football field in a football game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/B0t0aGUFWqU
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?

shocky's TOP 3 corrective steps to facilitate cal's monster offensive line:

1) get right guard sioape vatikani back on the ******* field, that flips the right side of the o-line from a current liability into an experienced strength tho 6th year senior right tackle tj sessions is NOT playing to his vast potential right now & is getting getting pounded like a pahu drum at a luau in pass pro...as the leader of this room tj should be demonstrating player led leadership after 20 sacks in 2 scrimmages & not playing like a turnstile in the new york city subway system during rush hour

2) all staff eyes on the wideouts on every single rep demanding accountability with violent physical BLOCKING on the perimeter in the run game to help out the struggling trench workers...the 2023 candy azz soft non existent ineffectual wideout blocking from starters taj, trond & jeremiah cannot happen again this fall...the good news is that all 3 projected 2024 starters tobias merriweather (notre dame), mikey matthews (utah) & kyion grayes (ohio state) come from winning programs that DEMAND their wrs successfully BLOCK from day 1



3) left tackle is literally the hardest position to play in football & the failure to do so will result in multiple sacks during scrimmages & leaves open the possibility of qb1 (and maybe qb2 too) getting meal services by tubes at alta bates next to coach wilcox's room for stroked out patients...that's why the national football league PAYS MILLIONS for left tackles

nick morrow is 6'8" 310 pounds & is a quick twitch +1 athletic (more FOOTSPEED than anybody in the o-line room) left tackle with literally an unlimited upside but the young man from flagstaff has never played a snap in a college football game...opposing 5 star apex predator edge defenders from miami, auburn & florida state are gonna be bringing ******* HEAT on every ******* SNAP early in the season...and that's why coach bloesch gotta protect the young left tackle thru better playcalling than he did in shreveport when tim deruyter knew mike wuz NOT gonna pitch the ball to jaydn on the edges or attack the middle 3rd of the field in the vertical passing game & then td unleashed the raiders dogs of war upfield knocking nando into concussion protocol ...when opposing edge guys make a beeline towards the bears quarterbacks with inside moves PITCHOUTS to all american jaydn ott will result in open space EPIC touchdown runs & force the edge guys to then play less aggressively/cheating on the sack moves...yeah PITCHOUTS are the key play call to a successful 2024 season
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Econ141 said:

Glad to see this and not our AD.


positive energy for the cal football program to hear directly from the chancellor that he's supportive of their hard work & that he recognizes that school spirit is the key to building a pipeline to future financial benefactors of the #1 ranked public university in the world

right now there's gonna be tens of thousand empty seats for the season opener on saturday august 31st vs uc davis, it would be a very powerful move for chancellor lyons to make an executive proclamation from the top of the campanile that all students will receive FREE tixs to all games...currently there are thousands of berkeley students from lower socioeconomic communities (like my poor as **** moms who grew up in a unit above a dry cleaner in san francisco before matriculating at berkeley) who cannot afford the middle class luxury plus of the football/basketball season pass...additionally there are international students who have never been to a football game in their home countries who would never even contemplate buying a student pass for some weird azz sport...come on rich, do the right thing!!

tarps are never gonna donate a ******* dollah to the university of california, berkeley, got it?



shocky is a mama's boy (love you moms!!!!!!!)#
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Shocky1 said:



this is cal football (NOT a finished product, working harder to get better)#
check out coach toler's first referenced priority at his early morning wide receiver group meeting at the 14 minute, 10 second mark: "we need to be GREAT on perimeter blocking"

high energy joc upton is right, it's "time for y'all to wake ur azz up"
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?

https://instagr.am/p/CdgZWh6raQE
https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx
shocky is very interested in quick twitch +1 athletic scouting/recruiting (and luvs to travel, do u got ur passport?)#
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?


nate, gimme the goods half the action, u get the chance to get away and go back to the east bay (for me it's too late)

2025 4.2 gpa running back with SPEED#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public ******* university on planet earth

Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
https://instagr.am/p/C-3bGvsyiRH
cal's monster offensive line can't hoop worth **** other than smooth ice in his veins texan matthew wykoff, tj sessions is gonna lead the g league in traveling or something with his shake & bake ****

yeah cade uluave is a ******* world class athlete both on & off the field (this is not open for debate) and jonathan brady got shocky kinda silly azz moves but without the yoga vibe

the magic of cal basketball (is NOT residing at memorial stadium)#
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?

hotter temps at today's practice at jesuit high school (carmichael is an affluent suburb of sacramento) & will practice again tomorrow (projected mid 90s midday temps) away from berkeley before school starts wednesday...nor cal roadtrip, baby

defensive injury update: starters safety craig woodson, apex predator edge defender xavier carlton & defensive tackle rickie correia all practiced together today for the 1st time this fall

former berkeley grad, phoenix suns nba all star & later mayor of sacramento kevin johnson issued the following monster statement:

"Let me be very clear about this, my shirt is FUSCHIA, not pink!!!! You feel me??"

fun fact: kj gotta the strongest handshake (ouch) of anybody shocky has evah met, bro needs to get a modern yoga/meditation practice & chill the **** out



NOT exactly the deep south heat/humidity (but better than the perfect 70s bay area seagull weather)#
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?

nfl dreams die hard: after almost 3 years of academic work in berkeley (a degree is worth millions over a lifetime if one is financially driven in life) the very likable chris street threw that opportunity away in order to transfer to utah tech in st george utah

yeah shocky dreams of someday becoming a substitute yoga teacher at modern yoga (best 5 minutes of the day is during shavasana in the princess class) but he don't got 900 hours certification (plus he got t-rex arms) or some dumb azz **** or something, ur education is kinda important unless u wanna be picking up range balls at ocotillo when ur 30 years old

Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


this is the aha moment in coach wilcox's career when he FINALLY realizes that shocky is always 100% right & that the key to unleashing an electrically dangerous bears offensive in the fall of 2024 is the utilization of the PITCHOUT to all american jaydn ott on the edges with open space, this is gonna be the key heisman play call to bringing the trophy to berkeley!!

as mentioned before by the monster, legendary nfl future hall of fame coach (and asu analyst) marv lewis always laughs whenever we talk college football at desert highlands (he lives on the right side of the tee box on the 5 11th hole) stating with a funny smirk that cal is "absolutely the easiest team to scheme again defensively in the pac 12" because of our "predictable" schemes/playcalling

cal's offenses under justin have been risk averse regardless of who is the offensive coordinator, this is why we don't risk tossing the ball on PITCHOUTs to our all american (could result in a bobbled miscue/turnover), throw passes in the middle 3rd of the field (could be tipped or overthrown for an interception/turnover, better for incompletions to be safely thrown out of bounds) & why the bears fair catch every punt (could be fumbled/turnover)

so in the simplest technical terms possible, marv has successfully game planned against cal by loading the box knowing we won't rush the ball to the perimeter & then instructing his outside linebackers/safeties to cheat to the sidelines for perimeter passing coverage support help once it's properly diagnosed as not an inside running play knowing we won't attack the middle 3rd of the field in the downfield vertical passing game

voila, the bears offense is stuffed!!

and that's why our offenses have stalled during wilcox's tenure as a head coach, he's irrationally afraid of taking chances in life...as a result of a controlling childhood (shocky took psych 1 in berkeley) justin is intensely private & don't want you to know he's been living with the same woman for almost a decade (whose family famously bleeds blue & gold) or that he's the lead singer of blur, taking chances has never been part of his dna until now thx to my work with coach in helping him develop as a human being on planet earth

and with that being said head coach justin wilcox still needs a yoga/meditation practice in the worst way possible (fishing/drinking beer at the lake is not the solution, that will only work for very few, mark my words) & to fully unchain offensive coordinator mike bloesch (the bears best coach in terms of player development) to utilize every single available weapon in his playcalling arsenal without the head coach tryna dial it back or something



this is cal football (if u see darkness don't look away, we r not gonna fall this time)#


From the Desk of the Head Football Coach of the University of Calveston

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

My gosh you're the most annoying person on Planet Earth!! No wonder Coach Martin, Donald Trump, the Con Artist, the Little Mermaid, the staff at Modern Yoga and half the premium posters including Greg Richardson at the Bear Insider want to keep you further afar!!

And how is my 3.43 GPA relevant to my duties as the Head Football Coach? What's your point, so what if Nate (4.2 GPA) is smarter than me or something.


But let's be real here, arguing with you is pointless, your friends/supporters include Buc-ee, your yoga buddy Jaylen Brown, Becky G, Chancellor Lyons, Club Pro Guy, fellow Stinson Beach High School grads Jared Goff & Governor/Future President of the USA Gavin Newsom and most importantly THE JET!!!!

So how about a compromise, ok?

I will call a PITCHOUT to Jaydn on the edges in wide open space on the 1st play from scrimmage this fall against UC Davis and also let you & Doms arrange all housing for Cal's Monster Offensive Line and in exchange you will GTFO, got it?

https://instagr.am/p/C9qFsgJyEHb
Best regards,

Coach Wilcox
From the Desk of the Head Football Coach of the 2025 Tropical Thunder Big 3

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I AM ******* FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did NOT stroke out when Kyion punted the ******* ball halfway to Albany, got it?????????

Thanks to you and your big mouth Alta Bates just texted me and told me they got a couple dozen get well cards and flowers waiting for me at the front desk.

Look, I'm very busy right now trying to scheme your PITCHOUTS into our season opening gameplan and also somehow incorporate your yoga/meditation suggestions into our S&C program due to the fact that almost half of our two deeps are INJURED right now so can you do me a solid and get Buc-ee to drop by the hospital on his way home today to Treasure Island and pick up all that ****?

Best regards,

Coach Wilcox
wut up coach?

shocky & buc-ee r not ur ******* errand boys, got it??

just remember THE JET!!!!! is a killah mamushi and a star star star star star star

-shocky
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?

high gpa/team player zony #10 ben finley is qb1 for akron
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?

coach so'oto has extended an offer to violent apex predator edge defender 6'4" 225 lbs jc all american odera okaka from the perennial california state championship program san mateo community college

odera is coached up by coach ben schrider, mark my words the tireless high integrity schrider will be on the bears staff at some point in the future just like haas biz ad grad mike saffell is the future head coach in waiting after coach wilcox strokes out or something (coach bloesch might be the gap head coach in between)

and yeah odera is a dean's list kinda guy, he not a dumb azz


the san community college fightin' benjis=#1 ranked football/academic jc on planet earth
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Shocky1 said:

the wacky upside down world of shocky (NOT to be confused with the bros of simi valley):

the following is a semi accurate transcript of a telephone conversation with doctor c (son is a relief pitcher with the baltimore orioles) today at 11:49 am on the way to everybody loves des nooner modern yoga class

doc c: good morning bill, i have some good news for you

shocky: wut, ur nurses wanna go naked skinny dipping with me and my doggy dogs???

doc c (clearing his throat): no, that's not exactly...

shocky (kinda interrupting): wait, ur gonna finally sign the state mandated mental competence affidavit so i can become a certified substitute yoga teacher at modern yoga?

doc c: that's definitely not happening!

shocky: sorry to hear that brah, so wut's the deal then?

doc c: your numbers just came back from the lab and your sodium levels are really low

shocky (confused as usual): wut?

doc c: my guess is that with all your yoga and golf your drinking too much water and sweating out the salt, so let's try to reduce your daily water intake particularly those perriers and get some new numbers next week, the little mermaid wants to talk to you anyways so she'll call to schedule an appointment

shocky: great so should i stop by the horsey horse tack shop in old town and get a salt lick block or does it just make more sense to be kissing a curvy brunette yoga female from an academically mediocre school that got really salty lip balm or something?

click...line disconnected

shocky: hello, anybody there?

https://instagr.am/p/CsukIi2tyZo

cal's monster class EXCLUSIVE update (only for monster subscribers, put 5 dollahs or the ibiza currency equivalency in an unmarked sealed fuschia envelope behind the stop sign at the 4th exit off treasure island off the bay bridge at 400 am)

shocky's sodium recheck number is now 140!!!!!

before: number wuz 117 which means my liver wuz gonna shut down & shocky would die before coach wilcox

now: new number is 140 which is in the healthy range of 136-145

problem solving: shocky took a serious medical challenge & made it FUN getting a boatload of salt via soup (pro tip: the lobster bisque at dominick's steakhouse on the 2nd floor next to the pool is the move)

look, ur always gonna have a ****ton of challenges in life, berkeley will prepare u for that **** so a salt ur difficulties (we can always invoke the imminent domain defense if necessary, shocky took a pre law class in berkeley)

yeah this is ******* bear territory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/Cz0FRh2Lc0z
^ pro tip: watch/listen to the above with MAXIMUM VOLUME (and sing along if u know the words)
juarezbear
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Shocky1 said:



nate, gimme the goods half the action, u get the chance to get away and go back to the east bay (for me it's too late)

2025 4.2 gpa running back with SPEED#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public ******* university on planet earth


Does anybody have a sense of our chances here?
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
https://instagr.am/p/CTu4jJKjpeE
hollywood, there's only one #1 ranked public university in the world that is gonna get its current heisman candidate drafted as the #1 running back in the 2025 national football league draft (jaydn is gonna get PAID) in this recruitment which includes a cali school with year round mid 70s temps & other schools in humid/freezing azz bumble****

did shocky mention that nate is fast as **** with elite SPEED & gotta 4.2 gpa??

HoopDreams
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Jorge retires from basketball ...

https://instagr.am/p/C-6dPvQNVaV
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?
^ shhhh hoops, don't tell rickie fowler but allison in a pathetic attempt to make me jealous went out with jorge back in the day

https://instagr.am/p/v9yLshlQrX
Shocky1
How long do you want to ignore this user?

cal warm weather practice update: 2nd day with hotter mid 90s temps than yesterday at jesuit high school

still no discernible separation in the battle for qb1 & a lotta kung fu fighting which is always good to see unless ur coach wilcox's cardiovascular doc & worried about justin stroking out or something but no worries cuz andrew mcgraw as usual is 3 steps ahead of the game & already got a room reserved at alta bates for the fall of 2024 in coach's name

back to berkeley now, school starts tomorrow at the #1 ranked public university in the world...wednesday's practice will begin the game prep (which will mean the firming up of most of the 2 deeps depth chart) for uc davis at memorial stadium on saturday august 31st at 2:00, r u gonna be there & celebrate the magic of cal football?

and yeah THE JET!!!! is a killah mamushi & a star star star star star star



First Page Last Page
Page 300 of 361
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.