Pittstop said:

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Shocky1 said:

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YOU KNOW IT

YOU TELL THE STORY

YOU TELL THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD

THIS IS BEAR TERRITORY #CollegeGameDay pic.twitter.com/fwwDrJBktF

— Pat McAfee (@PatMcAfeeShow) October 5, 2024

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Free national recruiting pitch. Thanks, Pat!

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It will only really matter if we win.

^ wrong, that's not how recruiting works in 2024

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DAHCW17Pm9C
ATTENDANCE: 66.087
west virginia at pittsburgh acrisure stadium in STEEL TOWN
saturday september 14, 2024

Kashmir (Led Zeppelin) performed by kids.
This is so damn cool! pic.twitter.com/mLjfUlI4bN

— Yvette☮️🦇🐈‍⬛ 🌊🌊🌊 (@YvetteABonnet) October 6, 2023

lil kids & hostile road game venues r loud & FUN (r the bears practicing the silent count snaps??)#

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good news: coach bloesch gotta disciplined gameplan to rectify the problem & now the trench workers are practicing the silent count snaps AT EVERY SINGLE PRACTICE including last week's bye work!!!

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pittsburgh panthers 34
north carolina tar heels 24

panthers qb1 eli holstein (alabama transfer) is an absolute winner/leader in every sense of the word, he passed for 381 yards on the road & also rushed like a crazy azz sunburned white guy looking for coppertone for 76 yards...eli throws a catchable tight spiral & is helped by innovative play calling that intentionally schemes to get the pitt explosive rb1 desmond reid on the edges in space on rushing plays & over the middle on passing plays (against much slower linebackers)

HE CAN SCOOT 🔥 @fastboidez

pic.twitter.com/eFah1uTgQj

— Pitt Football (@Pitt_FB) October 5, 2024

interesting to note that pitt plays a high speed warp offense but slows it down on 3rd downs to ensure the right play call is made by the dynamic offensive coordinator (who doesn't run his star rb1 into telephone poles over & over)

defensively the panthers d is exploitable giving up 269 yards in the air to the tar heels non exceptional qb1 & 147 yards on the ground

next week's battle against an unbeaten pittsburgh panthers (5-0) is gonna be FUN with a roadie to oakmont & steel town!!

**** franco harris (and spaghetti o's)#

^ welcome to the club

Shocky1 said:

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^ welcome to the club

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I have been a general member since 2017. The Ott version since 2022 and the Jet version since preseason last year, but especially since the 1st quarter of the bowl game last December.

I really think this offense could be Top 20 with a good OC.

https://instagr.am/p/C9BRE-IJNAv
virginia tech hokies 31
stanford cardinal 7

defensively the cards gotta pretty good d limiting the explosive hokies to 337 total offensive yards but with that being said stanford's offense is a total ****show with qb1 on the disabled list & qb2 justin lamson (a beyond breaking bad 103 yards in air on a crooked azz 13 of 24 passes) should be a 3rd string military academy qb with his inability to throw a football to his elite wide receiving room

yeah the stanford cardinals (2-3) gotta figure out how to get the ******* football to nfl 1st rounder wideout eric ayomanor

high gpas won't save us in 2024 collegiate football (go cards/the ivies!!) but it is the BEST route to building generational wealth#

Ready to hunt 😤#GoBears | #ALLIN pic.twitter.com/5CSwLuVZjG

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) October 5, 2024

breezy is a TAKER, (and is now getting PAID in the nfl) r the young ones gonna HUNT tonite??#

https://instagr.am/p/C-S2ZZIuZum
georgia bulldogs 31
auburn tigers/war eagles 13

look traveling to the deep south for fall gamedays is a lotta FUN but the truth is that the auburn tigers (2-4) gotta lotta low gpa bottle blondes that wanna date & marry cal, stanford & ivy league grads when they enter the real world that unremorsefuly favors the well educated plus despite nfl/sec bodies at every position not recruiting an elite qb1 to auburn wuz a dumb decision that has led to a **** situation

https://instagr.am/p/DAwsDYCSiZy
uc davis aggies 27
portland state vikings 26

congrats to the high gpa uc davis aggies (5-1) on pharming them vikings at portland's voo doo cardboard donuts stadium!!

Shocky1 said:

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#USAmateur match play up next 💪

Incoming freshman Eric Zhou has advanced to the U.S. Amateur Round of 64 after shooting 67-73 (140, -2) in stroke play.#GoBears pic.twitter.com/XojlBmcTsT

— Cal Men's Golf (@CalMensGolf) August 14, 2024

congrats to incoming true freshmen ziqin eric zhou for making it to the 2024 us amateur field of 64 at hazeltine before losing today in match play on the 19th hole...the shenzhen china native is the 16th ranked player in the 2024 class with literally an unlimited upside both academically & athletically in berkeley

eric, here's the deal, when we meet this fall if you will teach me that trick flop shot then shocky will teach u how to do a headstand like he did with jaylen brown back in the day, got it?

https://instagr.am/p/BDilZUghHeU
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including china)

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at this week's prestigious asia-pacific amateur championship in japan with the 3rd round suspended due to darkness cal true freshman eric zhou is the LEADER at 9 under par thru 15 holes
https://www.aacgolf.com/leaderboard/2024

the WINNER tomorrow gets invitations to both the 2025 masters tournament at augusta national & the 2025 british open at royal portrush (ireland) along with current invitees collin morikawa, max homa & byeong hun an

good luck eric!!

cal is a golf school#

Shocky1 said:

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^ wrong, that's not how recruiting works in 2024

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Well, yah. If we have unlimited money to throw at football I guess the winning will follow. Still waiting. BTW, just spent pregame with Chris Richards and sons. 85 Cal RB. Nice guy, nice sons. He spoke glowingly of Snyder and Kapp and how Cal f-ed up big time not paying Snyder. AD incompetence goes back decades.

miami hurricanes (6-0) 39
california golden bears (3-2) 38

talk to me, ur beautiful dreams (don't be shy)#

https://instagr.am/p/C__IXxyPyvG
clemson tigers 29
florida state seminoles 13

***** fsu (1-5)#

https://instagr.am/p/C4End7xBq-1
san diiego state aztecs (2-3) 27
hawaii rainbows 24

https://instagr.am/p/DAPDhPvyl1J
oregon state beavers 39
colorado state rams 31

offensively qb1 gevani mccoy wuz uncharacteristically off rhythm completing 16 of 28 passes for 147 yards but scrambled for 91 yards & rb1 anthony hankerson led the rushing attack with 113 yards

defensively the beavers porous d gave up 263 yards in the air & 176 yards on the ground

the oregon state beavers (4-1) are gonna be a legit challenge for cal when they visit memorial stadium on october 26th with a chip on their playtapus shoulders

Ziqin Zhou becomes the clubhouse leader 🏡🇨🇳 pic.twitter.com/Erduxc2h8b

— Asia-Pacific Amateur Championship (@AAC_Golf) October 6, 2024

asia-pacific amateur championship: 4th round

true freshmen ziqin zhou shot an excellent final round of 68 including a clutch birdie 4 on the par 5 18th hole (which he almost holed for an eagle) in the above video but finished 2nd at 10 under par

so the winner wenyi ding from asu gets the 2025 masters at augusta national & 2025 british open at royal portrush invitations but make no mistake about it ziqin got literally a unlimited golfing upside in his future & gotta chance to become one of the cal golf program's greatest golfers of all time with continued hard work & development

cal senior tony chen finished strong with a 70 & tied for 19th

82gradDLSdad said:

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Shocky1 said:

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^ wrong, that's not how recruiting works in 2024

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Well, yah. If we have unlimited money to throw at football I guess the winning will follow. Still waiting. BTW, just spent pregame with Chris Richards and sons. 85 Cal RB. Nice guy, nice sons. He spoke glowingly of Snyder and Kapp and how Cal f-ed up big time not paying Snyder. AD incompetence goes back decades.

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Yeah, talked to Pawlawski for a few minutes the night before Auburn game...same view on Snyder...rattled off the recruits that were coming etc...

coach bloesch PITCHOUT update:

ZERO PITCHOUTS called vs miami which continues mike's remarkable record of ZERO PITCHOUTS to the edges in wide open space for the 1st 5 games of the 2024 season!!

mike is a big fan of intentionally running cars into telephone poles & he's costing jaydn ott millions of dollars in the 2025 national football league draft

jaydn ott: 7 carries for 2 yards
THE JETT!!!!: 7 carries for 20 yards

it doesn't have to be like this, killer whales

stubborn azz 1980s texas high school linear smash mouth football (earl campbell would approve)#

coach michael wilson got his starting line for tomorrow's october 7th & 8th mackenzie invitational at the meadow club (faithfully restored to its sparkling brilliance by mike devries)...yeah shocky mostly caddied at san francisco golf club during his stinson beach high school & berkeley days but sometimes he would caddie at the meadow club on the way to nearby stinson/muir woods for some late afternoon waves with his FUN doggy dog blaze (a rescue mutt of multiple descents of course)

1. weliang zie (grad sr)
2. matthew miyamoto (freshman)
3. sihao cong (sophmore)
4. charlie berridge (blueshirt jr)
5. papon sawatyanon (senior)

competing as non team scoring individuals: daniel heo (jr) & kai hirayama (true fr)

note: both true freshman eric zhou & senior tony chen are returning to the states from ELITE performances at the asia pacific amateur championship in japan, the program's depth will be tested in marin

kinda wondering if michael & assistant coach peter ireland are gonna take the squad to stinson to work on their sand play?

fun fact: shocky's 1st kiss in his life (that did not involve either his moms or a doggy dog) wuz with a curvy brunette yoga female with a smokeshow ponytail on the path down to stinson beach, made me feel kinda like a homecoming king or something...not gonna lie, gotta lotta tongue on that kiss





this is cal golf (which cannot be affected by conference affiliations)#

Shocky1 said:

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coach bloesch now has 5 games of play calling under his belt at cal, he has enough empirical evidence to clearly see that his 1980s smash mouth texas high school schemes are not working against elite collegiate defenses

the cal football program is outta time, it's win now or shut it down, replacing coaches at this stage in the game is neither likely or feasible

agreed jaydn's injury has impacted his ability to cut (the bye week is timely) but with that being said he wuz not physically limited in shreveport & bloesch's schemes then wuz ineffectually trash then too...it should be pointed out that even a fake pitch out to ott would open things up for other playmakers

the bye week is an ideal time to reassess & artfully make adaptive changes, monster ideas could include:

*****playing both jaydn & THE JET!!!! in the same backfield thereby putting the most SPEED possible on the field

*****designing a series package for mobile qb2 chandler rogers that includes an option read sweep with the PITCHOUT as option #3

*****practicing the silent count snaps until it becomes 2nd nature, that clearly wuz not the case in tallahassee & coach wilcox's press conference comments revealing his lack of comprehension that his o-linemen wuz not properly prepared is mind boggling

*****starting games with the 2 tight end jumbo package & staying with it until it's stopped by the d

*****benching wide receivers that are candy azz soft blockers, rewarding wideout downfield blocking with playing time...7 on 11 (qbs don't block) will NEVER result in a powerful running game, coach toler needs to hold his players accountable with less blah blah blah coachspeak

mike, ur only limited by ur imagination in scheming the cal offense, just ask urself: wut would buc-ee do if he wuz in ur shoes??

https://instagr.am/p/C_bb1kIuBLy

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results from the above 5 monster offensive recommendations:

1) coach bloesch did NOT put both playmakers on the field at the same time

2) coach blueish did design an option read sweep for chandler rogers that resulted in a touchdown!!

3) the cal offensive practicing the silent snap count at EVERY practice, this will hopefully not be an issue at an unbeaten fired up pittsburgh crowd next saturday in steel town

4) still not a lotta 2 tight end sets even tho it offers the best combo of BLOCKING & pass catching

5) improved downfield BLOCKING vs miami that even got chippy at times but the canes wuz way more relentlessly physical than the bears wideouts

and yeah when jaydn ott gets the ******* football on the edges in wide open space he's OFF TO THE RACES!!

Do ya thang, 1 👯‍♀️@THEJAYDNOTT 66 yards to the house!

📺 @espn
📲https://t.co/2SVV0pA9IE#GoBears | #ALLIN pic.twitter.com/27ECgfXObK

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) October 6, 2024

https://instagr.am/p/DAJH2q_plBP
monster message to coach sirmon:

peter, u & coach so'oto rotated chek & serigne for david & the x man throughout the miami game at outside linebacker...all 4 of them wuz ineffectual in the 2nd half after making plays in the 1st half, u & vic need to figure that **** out

but u really didn't do that at inside backer & by the 4th q both cade & teddeye wuz gassed & couldn't generate the foot speed to keep containment on miami's qb1 damaging off schedule downfield scrambles to daylight...agreed that in the inside backer room u gotta preserve the blueshirt years for aaron & eze but it would make a lotta sense when the bears travel to steel town later this week for u to give gameday snaps to smart as **** hunter, ok?

the panthers qb1 is not a burner like cam ward but eli holstein is a dangerous threat rushing (there r designed runs for him in the pitt scheme) in their high octane offense, he's their #2 rushing leader after explosive rb1 5'8" desmond reid

shocky is gonna be kinda busy with his tee times at oakmont & maybe fox chapel in steel town but if u want me to stand on the sidelines next saturday afternoon & assist u with the inside backer playing rotation just let me know & the monster will do u a solid, got it?

**** franco harris (and spaghetti o's)#

https://instagr.am/p/CNXw8aTjzxf
look, realize that 91 is kinda expensive these days but everybody (not counting the whiny azz gameday thread doomsday "fans") gotta get their azzs ready to ******* roll to steel town later this week, got it?

https://instagr.am/p/C7RpIVJukpD
yeah mack the azz or follow her on instagram or something??



clothes r for losers (except in steel town, this is NOT cali)#

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DAJH2q_plBP
monster message to coach sirmon:

peter, u & coach so'oto rotated chek & serigne for david & the x man throughout the miami game at outside linebacker...all 4 of them wuz ineffectual in the 2nd half after making plays in the 1st half, u & vic need to figure that **** out

but u really didn't do that at inside backer & by the 4th q both cade & teddeye wuz gassed & couldn't generate the foot speed to keep containment on miami's qb1 damaging off schedule downfield scrambles to daylight...agreed that in the inside backer room u gotta preserve the blueshirt years for aaron & eze but it would make a lotta sense when the bears travel to steel town later this week for u to give gameday snaps to smart as **** hunter, ok?

the panthers qb1 is not a burner like cam ward but eli holstein is a dangerous threat rushing (there r designed runs for him in the pitt scheme) in their high octane offense, he's their #2 rushing leader after explosive rb1 5'8" desmond reid

shocky is gonna be kinda busy with his tee times at oakmont & maybe fox chapel in steel town but if u want me to stand on the sidelines next saturday afternoon & assist u with the inside backer playing rotation just let me know & the monster will do u a solid, got it?

**** franco harris (and spaghetti o's)#

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Cal whether it is Sirmon or DeRuyter they have never really rotated at ILB. They play every snap. A few snaps happened late vs SDSU. If his son had not gotten hurt last season would we have ever seen Cade Uluave? Barth may get a snap in a specialty defense, but not as a rotational player.

Cal has rotated heavily at OLB and DL. Some at nickel corner and safety. But ILB? No and probably won't. In this new world of transfer portal and NIL you have to play your depth if possible. Cal needs to win. Or is providing blueshirts for the next HC super critical?

Miami clearly made some adjustments at the half and found more success on offense. Did Cal respond? No. Of course not.

Holstein has played well. He is not Cam Ward but is similar to former Cal QB Chase Garbers as a run threat. But a much better passer than Chase.

Reid is a good player and yes as you say explosive as well.. Threat as a runner and a receiver. Cal will have their hands full with Reid and Holstein.

6956, wuz u at the miami game & if so did u notice that both cade & teddeye had their hands on their hips during the 4th q & wuz gassed?...that's something that is 100% lost on tv "fans" but hopefully not the cal coaching staff moving forward

agreed that sirmon & td before didn't rotate the inside backers, that strategy works better agains the now extinct pac 12 pro style qbs & not against elite acc scrambling qbs (the bears will also face running threat qb1s at both smu & north carolina state)

eli holstein is a very special player (and exponentially more dangerous than chase garbers when running with the ball), this season he has rushed for 255 yards on 48 carries which is a 5.5 yards per carry average which is around twice the total yardage of both cameron ward & jaydn ott

fully expect coach sirmon to adjust & give hunter snaps this saturday in steel town to keep the starters fresh for the critical 4th q...fyi barth is one of the highest gpa bears & is also very fresh with his curvy brunette yoga female girlfriend (and that's just good zony parenting)

https://instagr.am/p/C1ibA6Nv9TU

https://instagr.am/p/DA084aOvM3O
afternoon fall gameday at memorial stadium (r u gonna represent??)#

Shocky1 said:

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6956, wuz u at the miami game & if so did u notice that both cade & teddeye had their hands on their hips during the 4th q & wuz gassed?...that's something that is 100% lost on tv "fans" but hopefully not the cal coaching staff moving forward

agreed that sirmon & td before didn't rotate the inside backers, that strategy works better agains the now extinct pac 12 pro style qbs & not against elite acc scrambling qbs

eli holstein is a very special player (and exponentially more dangerous than chase garbers when running with the ball), this season he has rushed for 255 yards on 48 carries which is a 5.5 yards per carry average which is around twice the total yardage of both cameron ward & jaydn ott

fully expect coach sirmon to adjust & give hunter snaps this saturday in steel town to keep the starters fresh for the critical 4th q...fyi barth is one of the highest gpa bears & is also very fresh

https://instagr.am/p/C1ibA6Nv9TU

---

I was not at the game. I had family in town. Both my father and my wifes mother are in major decline and we often are hosting relatives that are in town to visit both while they are still with us. But I go when I can and do watch. And donate what I can to the cause. I am no TV fan in normal situations. But you go ahead and try make me one.

But it is not important that I notice where the hands of Cal's 2 ILB are. It is important that the DC and HC see it. Cal has rarely rotated their ILBs with these 2 running the defense. We will see if they do vs Pitt. I guess they won't.

Holstein a good runner. But he is not Cam Ward. Cal will need to account for him. Ward uses his legs most often to extend plays. But as we saw on Saturday is a dangerous runner when he does tuck it and go.

Pitt Freshmen Passing Record 🔥

381 Passing Yards puts @eli_holstein10 into the record books 🙌

Most passing yards ever by a Pitt Freshmen 🔵🟡#HailToPitt pic.twitter.com/B3dQfoElXN

— Pitt Football (@Pitt_FB) October 5, 2024

6956, my take is that eli holstein is an almost great (not good) runner & his passing/leadership skills are unquestionably exceptional plus he gotta really unattractive porn stache

and the pitts offensive coordinator utilization of 5'8" desmond reid is unpredictably innovative (there's no crashing the little guy into telephone poles, the panthers actually scheme PITCHOUTS to the edges in wide open space)

HE CAN SCOOT 🔥 @fastboidez

pic.twitter.com/eFah1uTgQj

— Pitt Football (@Pitt_FB) October 5, 2024

yeah this weekend in steel town is gonna be a ******* challenge (and not just talking about shocky tryna 2 putt on oakmont's 13+ stimp greens) against an unbeaten fired up home crowd with hostile noise, gotta continue to work on the silent snap counts this week in practice

Wake up! It’s Gameday pic.twitter.com/1NOrWVaREd

— Oakland Zoo (@OaklandZoo) October 5, 2024

Shocky1 said:

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Pitt Freshmen Passing Record 🔥

381 Passing Yards puts @eli_holstein10 into the record books 🙌

Most passing yards ever by a Pitt Freshmen 🔵🟡#HailToPitt pic.twitter.com/B3dQfoElXN

— Pitt Football (@Pitt_FB) October 5, 2024

6956, my take is that eli holstein is an almost great (not good) runner & his passing/leadership skills are unquestionably exceptional plus he gotta really unattractive porn stache

and the pitts offensive coordinator utilization of 5'8" desmond reid is unpredictably innovative (there's no crashing the little guy into telephone poles, the panthers actually scheme PITCHOUTS to the edges in wide open space)

HE CAN SCOOT 🔥 @fastboidez

pic.twitter.com/eFah1uTgQj

— Pitt Football (@Pitt_FB) October 5, 2024

yeah this weekend in steel town is gonna be a ******* challenge (and not just talking about shocky tryna 2 putt on oakmont's 13+ stimp greens) against an unbeaten fired up home crowd with hostile noise, gotta continue to work on the silent snap counts this week in practice

Wake up! It’s Gameday pic.twitter.com/1NOrWVaREd

— Oakland Zoo (@OaklandZoo) October 5, 2024

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The Pitt OC is an innovative guy. He gets his players into situations that are favorable for the skillsets they have. He was the OC at Western Carolina where Reid was last season. Reid is a dangerous and versatile player. Holstein has done well running, but I think Cal will be more concerned with his throwing. And how to keep Reid from getting the ball in space.

If Holstein beats Cal with his legs then he does. But they have to slow down Reid and make Holstein less efficient throwing the ball. JMO but Holsteins running is#3 on things they need to worry about on defense. If they do not slow down #'s 1 and 2 it wont matter how good a runner Holstein is. You have to stop the things they are best at. That is Reid in space and Holstein throwing it. I like my chances if Holstein running the ball is the best thing they do Saturday.

But really Cal needs to be much better on offense. Pitt is not Miami (or Auburn or FSU) along the DL or on defense generally. They should be able to move the ball on Pitt.

100% that the pitt oc is an innovator, he realistically wuz never even considered by coach wilcox...one of the challenges facing the cal football program is that justin's network of potential future coaches is limited & that's how u end up with drunks like ragle & billy m on ur staff & a current offensive scheme that kinda looks like a 1980s texas high school smashmouth attack running cars into telephone poles (buc-ee needs to look away) but mike is a smart guy/good person & shocky thinks he will show developmental growth with my FREE tutelage

the pitt d is NOT the steel curtain, the bears offense with better play calling including PITCHOUTS should be able to put up 30-40 points this saturday in steel town

3rd score of the season for Copenhaver.

📺https://t.co/3akYK2zeUe https://t.co/BnhrlfQu5M pic.twitter.com/W2gYIvgPCY

— Carolina Football (@UNCFootball) October 5, 2024

plus holstein is such a gunslinger that he sometimes takes chances tryna throw balls into really tight windows & that **** is NOT gonna work against the TAKERS!!

84 Yards. 7th longest INT return in school history!

📺https://t.co/3akYK2zeUe https://t.co/OMGUAJKAz4 pic.twitter.com/bshcugmKsZ

— Carolina Football (@UNCFootball) October 5, 2024

saturday afternoon showdown in steel town, baby (let's ******* go)#

🙏
•
📸 North Vue Media pic.twitter.com/mVX9fIr1bm

— Jaron Keawe Sagapolutele (@JaronKeawe) October 7, 2024

3.75 gpa (not as high as princess courtney's glimmering 4.2 gpa, clean up in aisle 7) lefty from ewa beach 100% focused on winning a hawaii state championship with his brahs in this moment of love#

2024 alister mackenzie invitational at the meadow club: 1st round update

after a slow as **** start, the bears found the honey pot in the golden hills of marin & finished the 1st round in 2nd place at 18 under par behind them do u know the way to san jose state spartans

charlie berridge got ******* ice in his veins & shot an electric 65 birdieing his last 6 holes!!!!!

true freshman matthew miyamoto shot a pga tour kinda no bogey 66

Hot start for the rook!

Matthew Miyamoto is 3-under through 12 holes & sits inside the top 10 early.

📊 » https://t.co/nMyoe54OAw#GoBears pic.twitter.com/C0qcMxRZzL

— Cal Men's Golf (@CalMensGolf) October 7, 2024

late developing papon sawatyanon got the rock rolling en route to a 67 as did individual scoring daniel heo

5 birdies on the back nine! 👏

Papon Sawatyanon moves into T8 with three holes remaining in the first round.

📊 » https://t.co/5uoyFJyWPz #GoBears pic.twitter.com/q2qYZ4eofd

— Cal Men's Golf (@CalMensGolf) October 7, 2024

fun fact: rumours that cade uluave is gonna walk on the golf team are NOT true, his short game is a ****show

cal men's golf is gonna win a national championship sooner than later (building the foundation, there are no PITCHOUTS in golf either)#

https://instagr.am/p/C7uBpbISLyb
loose transcript of a conversation in shocky's kitchen this evening:

benji (looks like scrappy doo): hey big guy, how come we're not invited to go to the pittsburgh game this weekend, we've never been to steel town!!

beauty (benji's adorable little half sister, had to adopt her, couldn't split them up): benji, don't be mean to daddy, we can watch the game on tv

benji (getting fired up): no way beauty, that's not the same as being there in person, watching cal football on tv is for losers!!

shocky (while cleaning his yoga mat after today's sodium catastrophe at modern yoga): so tell me benji, wut would you even do at the game?

benji: well first of all i would warmly welcome all the bears with a pregame hype talk and make sure they had enough water in their dishes, then i would remind coach bloesch to call PITCHOUTS on the edges in wide open space for jaydn and THE JET!!!! since both of them are a star star star star star star!

misty mae (an oldy but goody): hey when you guys are done with all this **** talk can we please get some ******* food around here?

mugsy & stella (the cats watching from further afar from the island sink shaking their heads/licking their paws): can u believe this ****?

who saved who?????