cal's monster offensive line

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bearsandgiants
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Pittstop said:

Shocky1 said:


KAAAABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

huge california golden bears welcome to impact defensive lineman notre dame transfer 6'5" 300 lbs tyson ford with a huge recruiting assist to aidan keanaaina (arguably the bears most effective d-lineman this season in terms of making plays behind the line of scrimmage)

ford will be graduating this may in south bend & will then relocate to berkeley with 3 years of eligibility

tyson is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.4 gpa & wuz not only an all american bowl game (san antonio) selection but also a 1st team all state missouri academic honoree

2025 fall ball could potentially result in both tyson & aidan lining up next to each other on the d-line!!


notre dame university (shocky loves the campus coore & crenshaw minimalist designed warren golf course)=#1 ranked defensive line feeder school for the university of california, berkeley



If he is graduating in May with 3 years of remaining eligibility, how does Cal get all of that out of him if a grad cert is only one year?



Three certificates
Pittstop
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Shocky1 said:

pitts, with a 3.4 gpa at john brroughs high school in st louis tyson is an undergraduate admissions recipient which is a significantly more academically rigorous process than the grad cert program

watching his videos, ford is an ELITE combination of mobility & size!!




So, are you saying Cal can get all three remaining years of his eligibility (should he choose not to enter the draft before then)?
Shocky1
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YES!!
Shocky1
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tyson ford=will earn a berkeley undergraduate degree (there are no certs in his academic program)
Shocky1
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happy b-day to the nation's high school pic 6 leader (the next TAKER)!!#
Shocky1
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the MAGIC of cal basketball (let it fly, marta!!)#
Shocky1
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Quote:

https://instagr.am/p/C5bqV5sS9fn
MAJOR cal's monster class announcement from michelle onyiah:

"after much prayer and thought, i've decided that due to the relentless targeting efforts of every referee on planet earth to unfairly foul me outta every basketball game at absolutely no fault of my own, i've decided that i will no longer be persuing a wbna career at the end of this season & will instead be joining the cal women's softball team!!"

"please respect my decision, thank you!!"


Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine. Ok, maybe really fine.

5 BLOCKS (which is more than the bears football wideouts made all season), 7 boards AND ONLY ONE FOUL, can u believe this ****??

Go Bears!

Michelle Ugonne Onyiah

Shocky1
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the brotherhood that is cal football (something that is lost to the full of **** pretenders on planet earth)#
Shocky1
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cal's monster offensive line:

attentive readers of the monster will note that several of the key 2025 portal o-line targets are of poly descent, famika anae is a byu grad from laie (near the north shore of oahu, best food trucks on planet earthi) & a noted ukulele musician!!

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (that celebrates the poly culture with benji, rolo & the next o-line coach)

^ fun fact: despite this season's qb1 negatively recruiting jks (talking **** about cal to a commit on an unofficial visit) , faking an illness prior to the smu game like a spineless coward, not transparently telling the staff of his intentions to grab the miami moneybags (the indiana brother reunification story is just a smokescreen planted by dad) thereby limiting the staff's ability to recruit a high school or early portal qb & selfishly bailing on his teammates for next week's la bowl, the good news is that jaron keawe sagapolutele might potentially be in the portal as soon as after oregon's 2025 spring ball or more realistically after the 2025 season

and yeah break a leg on south beach

aloha ia lakou a pau me na ilio ilio#
Shocky1
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california golden bears 83
stanford cardinals 63

ugonne foul watch: the best d game of onyiah's life with 5 blocks, 7 rebounds, giving space to limit contact with a cards post that can't knock down open 15 footers, jumping vertically to contest shots without body to body contact, no moving screens called (tho there wuz 2 that could've been called) & only 1 FOUL on a contested interior shot near the bucket (and no wasted energy arguing with the refs)...bravo, michelle!!

3 point shooting: a school record 18 three pointers, let it fly!!


biggest bucket of the nite: jayda noble's 3 pointer near the cal bench (pandemonium ensued!!), the bears gotta get more production from the bench heading into acc play so noble knocking down a perimeter shot is very importance for her confidence...jayda is the team's best wing defender & tonite's 6 boards, zero turnovers in 14 tenacious/unselfish minutes is good stuff that helps teams win basketball games

turnover watch: 9 turnovers will allow the bears to compete with any team on planet earth!!

next game: this sunday at haas pavilion at 3:00 pm cal (10-1) host austin peay

a special season for the ages#
Shocky1
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california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused cuz he got worser seats):

doechii, why don't you introduce the yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2026 class:

jaydn crowder, corner/nickel (3.4 gpa)

2025 class:

tyson ford, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
odera okaka, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
john tofi jr, edge defender (3.8 gpa)
aiden manutai, safety (4.0 gpa)
tre' harrison, safety (4.83 gpa)
mike klisiewicz, offensive lineman (3.7 gpa)
jacob houseworth, tight end (3.25 gpa)
jae'on young, corner/nickel back (3.4 gpa)
lebron williams, defensive end (3.2 gpa)
beckham barney, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
anthony league, running back (3.9 gpa)
ikechukwu okafor, edge defender (3.7 gpa)
ben howard, offensive guard (3.2 gpa)
meyer swinney, hybrid wide receiver/tight end (3.75 gpa)
kaden cook, cornerback (3.4 gpa)

2024 class:

will mcdonald, left guard (3.5 gpa)
checkhsaliou fall, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
cj harris, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
serigne tounkara, edge defender (3.88 gpa)
kyion graves, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
ryan yaites, safety (3.2 gpa)
jasiah wagoner, corner/nickel back (3.25 gpa)
tj bollers, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
corey dyches, hybrid tight end/wide receiver (3.1 gpa)
braden miller, offensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
liam johnson, inside linebacker (3.36 gpa at princeton)
khamani hudson, cornerback (3.5 gpa)
bobby engstler, punter/kicker (3.72 gpa)
jonathan "gameday" brady, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
mikey miller, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
victor stoffel, offensive tackle (motivated student in sweden)
kadarius calloway, running back (2.7 gpa)
ryan coe, kicker (3.5 gpa)
tobias merriweather, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ja'ir smith, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
syris corley, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
rush reimer, offensive lineman (3.3 gpa)
marcus harris, defensive back (3.2 gpa)
aidan ikaika keanaaina, defensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
aiden newbill, offensive line (3.72 gpa)
isaiah crosby, safety (3.0+ gpa)
luke ferrelli, inside linebacker (4.0 gpa)
chandler rogers, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
teddye buchanan, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
josiah martin, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
jack endries, tight end (3.83 gpa)
trond grizzell, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu, defensive back (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (3.0+ gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (2.9 gpa)
camden jones, tight end (3.0+ gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquis montgomery, wide receiver (3.4 gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (2.9 gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)
david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (2.8 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
javian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, offensive line (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.85 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class...don't forget to take the chicken out

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (just ask the disney
wives)
https://instagr.am/p/DAb8NtkBYtv
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DDjCc8hxLtY
^ this is wut TRUE LOVE looks like both from their words & their actions, someday these remarkable student athletes will go their separate ways after earning berkeley degrees yet they will retain close bonds with one another knowing that true love will never DECEIVE u!!

yeah lulu that wuz the best player media interview in the history of cal athletics (#2 wuz a true freshman marshawn audibly crying tears of joy in his 1st press conference evah after the las vegas bowl back in the day)

"ITS WUT WE DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



the MAGIC of cal basketball (all starts with michelle staying outta foul trouble)#
https://writeforcalifornia.com/p/cal-wbb-earns-greatest-ever-win-over
Shocky1
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FUN trivia question:

question: wut's the difference between fernando mendoza & a phony as **** south beach prostitute/hooker who lies & plays games in order to get PAID??

answer: absolutely ******* NOTHING!!

ay caramba#
oskidunker
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Shocky1 said:


FUN trivia question:

question: wut's the difference between fernando mendoza & a phony as **** south beach prostitute/hooker who lies & plays games in order to get PAID??

answer: absolutely ******* NOTHING!!

ay caramba#


He fooled me.
Shocky1
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^ he fooled a lotta people
93Bear
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Shocky1 said:

^ he fooled a lotta people


Any color on what the staff and players have to say about FM behind closed doors? That insight would be very telling.
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C8CukhmuGh8
93, mendoza's teammates (like shocky) knew that he wuz NOT "sick" at the smu game (intentionally throwing the game to preserve his christoballs moneybags) & his telling jaron as a cal commit on an unofficial visit to berkeley after the epic big game celebration his "honest" feedback after pretending during on the field postgame interview that he loved everyone blah blah blah has forever changed their opinions of him

real talk: nando is considered a selfish non transparent piece of CACA by his teammates...it's ok to pursue ur dreams in life, it's not ok to act like a south beach hooker/prostitute in order to get PAID

yeah shocky is gonna order the 30+ day old deep fried barracuda at sexy fish next time he's in miami to celebrate the memory of the PRETENDER

https://instagr.am/p/CzR3M5fMFDU
burp (wut's that nasty azz **** smell in ur mouth??)#
calBlitz
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Shocky1 said:

real talk: nando is considered a selfish non transparent piece of CACA by his teammates...it's ok to pursue ur dreams in life, it's not ok to act like a south beach hooker/prostitute in order to get PAID

Come on Shocky. If the allegations against Fernando are true, then you are insulting the oldest profession in the world. A prostitute is honest about her trade.
mbBear
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Shocky1 said:


FUN trivia question:

question: wut's the difference between fernando mendoza & a phony as **** south beach prostitute/hooker who lies & plays games in order to get PAID??

answer: absolutely ******* NOTHING!!

ay caramba#

The Hooker is better with a deep ball....
wifeisafurd
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Shocky1 said:



cal's monster offensive line:

attentive readers of the monster will note that several of the key 2025 portal o-line targets are of poly descent, famika anae is a byu grad from laie (near the north shore of oahu, best food trucks on planet earthi) & a noted ukulele musician!!

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (that celebrates the poly culture with benji, rolo & the next o-line coach)

^ fun fact: despite this season's qb1 negatively recruiting jks (talking **** about cal to a commit on an unofficial visit) , faking an illness prior to the smu game like a spineless coward, not transparently telling the staff of his intentions to grab the miami moneybags (the indiana brother reunification story is just a smokescreen planted by dad) thereby limiting the staff's ability to recruit a high school or early portal qb & selfishly bailing on his teammates for next week's la bowl, the good news is that jaron keawe sagapolutele might potentially be in the portal as soon as after oregon's 2025 spring ball or more realistically after the 2025 season

and yeah break a leg on south beach

aloha ia lakou a pau me na ilio ilio#
We gotta move on - critical time for the program to focus on change is right now. More than just the football program is riding on the success of the football program.
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:



with the bears now safely in winson-salem & getting their body clocks rite with east coastie acc time, now is a good time to tell you again about the worst thing i ever did in berkeley

and with that being said, this isn't gonna be a pretty story

so shocky wrote a paper for bibliography 128, children's literature, and in rereading it felt it was a technically sound paper but that it lacked interest for the reader...so i totally fabricated & included the following opening paragraph:

"I must confess that I was made uneasy to see Anne Franks's The Diary of a Young Girl on the reading list for this class. Seeing the title on the list raised several burning questions in my mind. Why had I never read this famous book? Why had my father (after a heated and lengthy debate with my mother behind closed doors) removed this work off my bookshelf as a child? It seemed to me that the answers to these questions were somehow linked to my now deceased grandfather. Although my parents never talk about him, I remembered from various bits of information pieced together that Grandpa was a figure of dubious distinction in Hitler's brass during WWII. So I was forced to think. Why were my parents, particularly my father, so reluctant to talk about my grandfather? Could the answers to my grandfather's cloudy role in Germany during WWII be found in The Diary of a Young Girl which was so mysteriously taken off my bookshelf as a child?''

and i also rewrote the following closing paragraph:

"But despite her difficult and sometimes cruel life, Anne Frank did not feel sorry for herself and she never gave up. This is a worthwhile message for both adults and children alike. All in all, The Diary of a Young Girl is a sensitive, well written, and compelling self-portrait of a brave and spirited young girl, that at least for me, will always hold a special place on my bookshelf."

absolutely none of this is true...although i got a german last name in schulz, nobody in my family has ever had any connections with any racist groups...i grew up in a culturally mixed family that celebrates individuality & diversity, i'm a ******* mutt raised by a japanese tiger moms (also a berkeley grad, 1st in her family to graduate from college grew up poor as **** in the city by the bay)

so what did my teachers say in grading the paper?

the professor: "This a fine review, not only perceptive in its commentary but in itself very well written. I hope you will keep on writing, perhaps professionally? A+"

the teaching assistant: "Your paper was very perceptive and moving because the book had a great impact on you. Though you did not generalize about non-fiction, you approached this particular book in a sensitive and understanding way. Thank you for sharing this highly personal and emotional reaction-it was very important for me personally as an Isreali jew, well versed in the literature of the holocaust, to read your reaction to the subject. The book has made you think, grow up, seek further information, and if it has instilled in you the determination not to let the horrible and shameful history repeat itself, then it has served the purpose Anne's father had when he published her diary. A+"

i'm a flawed person but i know i need to set the record straight even if it means that i'm gonna flunk the class so i go to the ta's office hours

i walk in the door & i'm blown away...aubrey (mid to late 20s) is the cutest girl on planet earth (petite & curvy brunette yoga female with sparkling eyes & a dazzling smile) & we talk/laugh for about an hour about our favorite authors, recent concerts & the personalities of doggy dogs...but i never tell her my paper is full of ****, i can't stand the thought of her hating me so quickly

so i ask her if she would like to go bike riding with me at muir woods & stinson beach that weekend (with the idea that i would tell her the truth & also see her in a bikini) & she tells me she would love to go out with me but that the university code of professional standards does not allow teachers to date students

i don't give up that easily so i suggest we bring our doggy dogs, surely there can be no policy against our doggys hanging out together, right?

https://instagr.am/p/BxSgywLBG5x
she looks at me with sad eyes & tells me "this isn't going to happen, it can't happen" and we say our goodbyes

fast forward to a couple of summers ago & shocky takes his daughters shay & taylor to anne frank's house in amsterdam...i write & leave a note to both anne frank & the teacher's assistant apologizing for my actions

you every do anything worser in berkeley?

don't be a dumb azz#

postscript: monster readers probably already know shocky got some serious deep rooted issues that would probably benefit from intensive therapy or something but yeah the ta wuz a curvy brunette yoga female with a triggering smokeshow PONYTAIL!! (u probably didn't see that coming, rite?)...shocky gotta lotta loose screws (kinda like home depot on inventory days) but with that being said the truth of the matter is that reality is overrated!!
blitzy, there's no point in arguing with u, when ur rite (as usual) ur rite!!

the mendoza INTENTIONAL actions to **** over his teammates & the cal football program are way worser than the **** shocky did in berkeley referenced above back in the day

while at the game in dallas at the time shocky thought (mistakenly) that the reason NOBODY wuz standing around mendoza on the sidelines holding a clipboard wuz that he wuz sick & that they didn't wanna get it from him

it's now quite obvious in retrospect that his teammates knew that his pretending to be sick wuz just bull**** acting on his part & they wanted to distant themselves from the lying sack of ****

the truth of the matter is that mendoza could've avoided cal commit jks after the big game celebration (during which he falsely implored his love for his teammates in front of the tv cameras) & also tole the staff on monday of the smu game week of his transfer intentions instead of waiting until the last minute which resulted in chandler & cj not getting 1st string reps that week (which wuz selfishly taken by mendoza before his "illness")

let's be very clear about this, fernando mendoza is a piece of CACA & is old enuf to know better

if mendoza (or his dad who played ball with cristoballs back in the day) has any ethical standards he would reimburse cal legends for this season's deceptively taken nil payments & also write a general letter of apology to the berkeley student who got denied admission to the life changing #2 ranked biz school in the united states (tied with the massachusetts institute of technology behind the ivy league wharton b-school) for TAKING their coveted haas biz school admissions spot & a door to a brighter future

yeah **** nando & the horse he rode in on

fun fact: shocky still loves the beautiful people of cuba/havana like leidy who are tryna build better lives for themselves in the right way

https://instagr.am/p/CQcM9_4jECR
Shocky1
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court document #45 re: longwell continued FAILURE to build meaningful relationships (just ask mateen, the collin morikawa of place kicking), not mentioning the special teams coach in the goodbye tweet says a lot

the 4.0 gpa david's high snap contributed to the pittsburgh final seconds game losing missed field goal but the bird gotta lotta upside but honestly walking away as a berkeley drop out is really dumb azz decision with adverse 50 year implications

the birds will NOT fly in berkeley (just ask jabari)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DDkbufQS4p-
GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS

good news: mendoza along with the cal football team is traveling to los angeles today

bad news: the lying sack of **** is taking an OFFICIAL VISIT to ucla
Shocky1
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berkeley grad ender aguilar is entering the transfer portal again after a season at tulsa
Econ141
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F Mendoza
Shocky1
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wifey, 100% agreed that this is a critical time for cal athletics but to be honest with u shocky really thinks chancellor lyons is kinda ignoring the warning signs re: the damage the Knowlton Knows Nothing Notes r causing & the furiously impending existential financial tsunami headings towards berkeley that will require a new pipeline (which isn't happening now) of Builders of Berkeley to survive the utter wreckage/destruction


stinson beach pathway: the epicenter of shocky's 1st kiss that didn't involve his moms or a doggy dog!!#
82gradDLSdad
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Econ141 said:

F Mendoza
I think every kid who is at Cal first and foremost for football should just state, if asked, "if I get an unbelievable NIL offer and the situation looks somewhat favorable, I'm taking it. But while I'm here or anywhere I'll play my heart out." No need to sugar coat how much love you have for Cal.
Econ141
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Damage? What damage? Everything is all smiles.

Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DBhUTtGvcQ-
rodeo drive w/taylor (flying in from nyc) & lunch at nobu malibu!!#
Shocky1
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real talk: the new wr coach kyle cefalo DEVELOPS talent & demands violent downfield BLOCKING!!

cal's former wr coach NEVER had a single wideout hear their name called at the NFL Draft & ingrained a wr room culture of non BLOCKING

get PAID in berkeley (and an ELITE education)#
Big C
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93Bear said:

Shocky1 said:

^ he fooled a lotta people


Any color on what the staff and players have to say about FM behind closed doors? That insight would be very telling.

I would be interested to know if the team is relatively united on their feelings about FM and can maybe use his departure to rally around.

Also, at what point over the past two years did some of his teammates start to realize that he's kind of a phony?

(Personally, I am totally ready to move on... but I still think it's instructive to look back at what's happened.)
Shocky1
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mendoza's teammates realized he wuz full of **** when he declared himself "sick" for the smu game at the 12th hour so chandler & cj couldn't get any 1st team reps

the staff realized he wuz full of caca when he talked **** about cal to jaron during his unofficial visit to berkeley for the big game

shocky realized mendoza wuz full of azz wipe when he fist bumped him on the field during the stanford victory celebration at memorial stadium & could smell his stinky hand afterwards

a sack of **** is always a sack of **** (even in biscayne bay where the cuban gentlemen sleep all day)#
Shocky1
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"IT'S WUT WE DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (with a core value of helping the most vulnerable in society)
Big C
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Shocky1 said:

mendoza's teammates realized he wuz full of **** when he declared himself "sick" for the smu game at the 12th hour so chandler & cj couldn't get any 1st team reps

the staff realized he wuz full of caca when he talked **** about cal to jaron during his unofficial visit to berkeley for the big game

shocky realized mendoza wuz full of azz wipe when he fist bumped him on the field during the stanford victory celebration at memorial stadium & could smell his stinky hand afterwards

a sack of **** is always a sack of **** (even in biscayne bay where the cuban gentlemen sleep all day)#

Obviously, the last 2 1/2 weeks have been "revealing". Implied in that though, is that this side of him was always there and the Fernando Mendoza we have always seen in interviews was, to some extent, him showing off how glib he was.

I'm wondering if his teammates saw that side of him all along and were sometimes rolling their eyes.. And if they can now use his departure to rally around.

I'm also wondering to what extent he is a phony manipulator, versus someone who was basically sincere (though obviously insecure) and just made a series of worse-and-worse poor decisions. My take is that it's more the latter. Does he have some regrets? Or is he just laughing at us right now?

My last paragraph, okay it's all water under the bridge, let's move on, but I just find it interesting. Never seen anything quite like it in my 40+ years of closely following Cal Football and Basketball.
rkt88edmo
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So weirdly enough - I think he is just freestyling it and absorbing what's around him without a strongly centered self. If you watch the AR Friday night speech, he actually uses the phrase "with my boys" which FM turned around and incorporated the next day in his emotional speech - he's sorta like the dude in the Big Lebowski - pinballing through life and mirroring what's around him. Very smart kid, just still developing his sense of self.
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