yeah the epic 4:00 am gameday crowds & festive atmosphere that nite in berkeley against them weather channel hurricanes (10-3) speaks to the potential fanbase engagement of the california golden bears football program!!
a waisted opportunity (shocky luvs rag & bone jeans)#
east carolina panthers 26 north carolina state wolfpack 21
the far right foto tells the story of yet another missed chip shot field goal attempt loss against nc state (6-7) after the staff (longwell, cherrington & wilcox) ran off mateen, now ryan is heading into 2025 with a brand new kicker, punter, longsnapper & placeholder yet justin thinks the program is "lucky" to have longwell working with the kicking game despite multiple years of failure
question: why isn't haas pavilion this LOUD at every cal women's basketball gameday?>
answer: because markeisha everett, jennifer simon-o'neil & jim knowlton (all non berkeley grads) are wildly incompetent/non innovative worthless bureaucrats!!
ur decision to run it back & earn a BERKELEY DEGREE (now & not at some nebulous future time when ur done with the national football league) says a lot about u & the values instilled upon u by ur tiger moms!!
love u my poly brah, let's ******* go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and with that being said would u please make sure ur teammates finally get the lyrics tight & rite??
this **** is getting live, ur the ******* WOLF of berkeley, baby!!
and so with that being said, this is how shocky paid his way thru cal without ur nil deal with lance cooper & kevin kennedy and a roof over my head thx to randy scott, got it??
2025 ucla wideout room update: josiah martin may be joining mikey matthews in coach toler's non physical room which don't BLOCK or break tackles after catches & that struggles to get into routes against press coverage at the line of scrimmage
there's a reason burl has NEVER (unless they transferred away from him) had a player drafted by the national football league
flag football in westwood (and potentially 10+ losses in 2025)#
in a time of precipitously declining attendance for the cal men's & women's basketball teams playing in front of NOBODY in a cold empty haas for programs that have been poorly branded/marketed, the dynamic duo of markeisha everett & jim knowlton should announce on january 1st an intensive HEISMAN TROPHY campaign for a healthy jaydn ott (part of the storyline is that jaydn is looking to complete his berkeley degree from the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD to honor his academics promise to his tigers moms) & that in celebration of this game changing decision to RUN IT BACK (my running backs is from cali with NO EFFORT) that all students in the fall of 2025 will receive FREE tickets to all football games which is a critical investment in the future as chancellor lyons (who is inheriting an existential financial tsunami) desperately needs a new pipeline of Builders of Berkeley!!
and make no mistake about it THE JET!!!! is still a mamushi killah and a star star star star star star
jaydn (with jaivian next up in 2026) for the HEISMAN TROPHY!! (at my alma mater)#
men's golf team: the football team's best (will mcdonald is outta eligibility & back in south carolina working on his game at tidewater) golfer cade uluave (see above video) made a valiant but unsuccessful attempt today to walk on the golf team but this wuz thwarted when uluave couldn't quite get up & down on the par 4 18th hole (plus cade didn't rake the bunker or fill his divots with sand which is kinda frowned upon at san francisco golf club)
the team underperformed this fall with a newly reconstructed roster but head coach michael wilson's squad got the talent & upside to put it all together & still qualify for the 2025 ncca regionals...shocky's pick for the bear to awaken from hibernation for a monster fall is true freshman eric zhou who recently competed in the 9/11 terrorist financed liv golf promotions event as the only amateur, eric gotta lotta upside & almost qualified for the 2025 masters & british open with a 2nd place finish at the asia pacific amateur
Impressive display by freshman Eric Zhou (-11), who finished second in the @AAC_Golf in Japan.
women's golf team: the team is led by constance fouillet from rennes frances, head coach sofie aagaard gotta identify/develop a reliable 5th scoring player this spring...in a remarkable cost savings measure the entire team lives together & drives to all matches together in a tiny suv!!
pga pro golfers: the trio of collin morikawa (ranked #4 in the world), byeong "ben" an (ranked #24 in the world) & max homa (ranked #41 in the world but #1 on tour in replacing cam's poopy diapers) all got their 2025 masters invitations this week to augusta national & the trio will also be competing in this season's opening event next week at shocky's beloved coore & crenshaw kapalua plantation course on maui
https://instagr.am/p/C-ohghTs8gl the following week at waialae country club (designed by raynor with restoration work by doak) near diamond head will mark the season debut for michael kim (ranked #155 in the world) who got the fastest growing twitter account on the pga tour (homanation is already #1 in content)
Thoughts on the 2024 season:
-Happy with the way I started and finished but had too many poor weeks in the middle. The bad weeks were due to me trying to find the sweet spot with my swing and going back and forth a bit on what I needed my swing to be and finding a driver to…
shocky: the monster has been forevah banned from brambles golf club in middletown after walking 36 holes this fall then texting the club founder (a berkeley grad) that tho the c&c design is the best pure golf experience in california that the monster is willing to redesign for FREE the 225 yards par 3 16th hole's front left bunker to better allow the ground game on approach shots
cal is a golf school (with a really terrific women's basketball team this season)#
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including the isle of jura)
San Jose State All-Mountain West safety Robert Rahimi has entered the transfer portal, @chris_hummer and I have learned for @cbssports/@247Sports.
Rahimi, who transferred to San Jose State from Liberty, had five interceptions this year. Also had five INTs in 2022 for Liberty.… pic.twitter.com/xwuBAEOD4Z
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for TAKERS that wanna get developed & PAID in the national football league)
^fun fact: u can add potential 1st rounder round nohl williams to the above nfl TAKERS list
some people's insecurities/narcissism ("victim" persona, embracing anger via self entitlement) don't allow them to appreciate the loyalty/kindness of others (and then **** falls apart)#
BREAKING: Bowling Green’s punter has entered the Transfer Portal at halftime and will command at $5M NIL deal to play QB at his next school (probably) 🤣
bad coaching alert: cal's failed fake extra point after the pittsburgh game's 1st touchdown at acrisure stadium schemed an australian born placeholder who didn't grow up throwing an american football tryna throw a spiral under pressure when qb2 or qb3 could've been substituted as the holder & been adept at the run/throw option
https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
^ shocky is NOT on the jaylon tyson lovetrain, he's a hard working athlete that made his nba dreams come true but this wuz done with very little academic ambition (real talk: there wuz no choice in him declaring for the nba draft)
all 4 starting transfers that madsen brought in last season had almost zero academic ambition
and according to my golf buddy mr silverleaf sun angel tyson's standout wr brother jordyn is wired the same way doing as little as possible in the asu classrooms to stay eligible
yeah do u got academic ambition & r u mentally limitless??
fun fact: in watching every second of the 2024 cal football season in person with a keen interest in sideline interactions shocky can tell u with 100% certainty that NOBODY among the bears wuz more mobbed & congratulated by his teammates & staff when he exited the field after making some key plays than DEREK WILKINS (with jamaal wiley a close 2nd)
that says something about the respect level in the program for the epic perseverance of dw!!
^ shocky is NOT on the jaylton tyson lovetrain, he's a hard working athlete that made his nba dreams come true but this wuz done with very little academic ambition (real talk: there wuz no choice in him declaring for the nba draft)
all 4 starting transfers that madsen brought in last season had almost zero academic ambition
and according to my golf buddy mr silverleaf sun angel tyson's standout wr brother jordyn is wired the same way doing as little as possible in the asu classrooms to stay eligible
yeah do u got academic ambition & r u mentally limitless??
it's something in ur veins (ambition)#
Fun fact: ASU "student athletes" don't go to classrooms. They all take on line classes. With tutors.
https://instagr.am/p/C6zTEOXu-f- caddie update: 2nd straight tournament for max homa without longtime caddie/best friend joe greiner as a childhood friend from valencia looped for max in south africa last month
but with that being said michael greller is one of the top caddies on the pga tour & already got ear plugs after working jordan spieth's bag!!
Michael Greller has a new bag this week. He’s caddying for Max Homa at The Sentry.
It’s just temporary.
Greller’s boss, Jordan Spieth, isn’t in the field and Homa needed a temporary fill-in. His longtime caddie, Joe Greiner, is expected to return later in the West Coast swing.
Teddye has officially been invited to participate in the 2025 NFL Combine 😎Proud family and a well earned opportunity! 💕💕💥💥💥💥 pic.twitter.com/9CwghsjRye
bowl game rooting guide: it is in the best interests of the cal football program that oregon beats ohio state this wednesday at the rose bowl to end the buckeye's season thereby hopefully facilitating the bears then dotting the i
Teddye has officially been invited to participate in the 2025 NFL Combine 😎Proud family and a well earned opportunity! 💕💕💥💥💥💥 pic.twitter.com/9CwghsjRye
in that the FLORIDA PROJECT is shocky's favorite movie of the last decade (director sean baker is wildly talented, his cinematic reflections upon humanity make the monster both cry & laugh sometimes at the same ******* time) do NOT miss his latest masterpiece ANORA
u will luv this ******* movie, mother******!!
where the **** did the RING go?? (ZERO ******* commitment)#
the #2 ranked tight end in the 2022 class miami transfer 6'6" 240 lbs riley williams is gonna take an official visit to cal, the portland oregon native went to high school at the athletically elite img academy in florida (transferred there from central catholic which does not allow its student to graduate early in december) & is looking to potentially return to the west coast with trips also to ucla & oregon state...williams got 2 years of remaining eligibility & would be an impact force from day 1 in berkeley, this is a SPECIAL talent
riley is an explosive +1 athlete that physically BLOCKS & wuz poorly utilized as an offensive threat by the canes staff but still caught 7 passes this season for a remarkable 16.4 yards per catch
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those who think voo doo donuts r cardboard tasting pieces of ****)
Best Universities in the World, 2024:
1.🇬🇧 Oxford 2.🇺🇸 Stanford 3.🇺🇸 MIT 4.🇺🇸 Harvard 5.🇬🇧 Cambridge 6.🇺🇸 Princeton 7.🇺🇸 California Institute of Technology 8.🇬🇧 Imperial College London 9.🇺🇸 Berkeley 10.🇺🇸 Yale
^ shocky is NOT on the jaylton tyson lovetrain, he's a hard working athlete that made his nba dreams come true but this wuz done with very little academic ambition (real talk: there wuz no choice in him declaring for the nba draft)
all 4 starting transfers that madsen brought in last season had almost zero academic ambition
and according to my golf buddy mr silverleaf sun angel tyson's standout wr brother jordyn is wired the same way doing as little as possible in the asu classrooms to stay eligible
yeah do u got academic ambition & r u mentally limitless??
it's something in ur veins (ambition)#
Fun fact: ASU "student athletes" don't go to classrooms. They all take on line classes. With tutors.
Come on, you know ASU gets an academic pass on this thread....the key people are rich, belong to important golf clubs, and are nice to Shocky...
^ shocky is NOT on the jaylon tyson lovetrain, he's a hard working athlete that made his nba dreams come true but this wuz done with very little academic ambition (real talk: there wuz no choice in him declaring for the nba draft)
all 4 starting transfers that madsen brought in last season had almost zero academic ambition
and according to my golf buddy mr silverleaf sun angel tyson's standout wr brother jordyn is wired the same way doing as little as possible in the asu classrooms to stay eligible
yeah do u got academic ambition & r u mentally limitless??
it's something in ur veins (ambition)#
Right, let's trash Tyson just to make sure he doesn't give any dollars back to Cal! You blaming the players, or you blaming the system? You want to review the poor academic efforts in Cal sports history? Tyson played hard, and, no reports of him being a bad citizen. That makes his dollars green in my book.
mb, there's a reason this is posted on a football not a basketball board, madsen's starting 5 last season not only lacked academic ambition but also any defensive ambition on the basketball court too
as for asu shocks has noted multiple times it's the #1 stripper college in the united states of america!!...if u tole me anora (who is very lovable, shocky is drawn towards flawed people/doggy dogs, lassie don't need my help in getting rescued) is an asu grad (who talks a lotta **** like the monster), i would believe in u
mb, there's a reason this is posted on a football not a basketball board, madsen's starting 5 last season not only lacked academic ambition but also any defensive ambition on the basketball court too
as for asu shocks has noted multiple times it's the #1 stripper college in the united states of america!!...if u tole me anora (who is very lovable, shocky likes flawed people/doggy dogs) is an asu grad (who talks a lotta **** like the monster), i would believe in u
real talk#
Fardaws was a leading conference rebounder and shot blocker, and both Tyson and Keonte Kennedy were stout defensively. Let's be real, Shocks.
pitts, daws alienated his teammates early on showing them his luxury watch collection when some of them wuz eating ramen/opting to live further afar from campus and not living with the squad which helps build chemistry...then during the season he played terrible interior post defense as opponents ran thru him like a nyc turnstile at rush hour...both fardaws & cone (dealing with baby mama issues) picked up their d intensity very late in the season when it finally dawned on them that pro scouts are not gonna sign defensive liabilities
kennedy wuz the team's best defender, too bad he wasted his time in berkeley by literally not reading a single book & ****...bolted right after the final game to be never heard from again kinda like a dead prez or something
none of these guys evah embraced berkeley or took advantage of its academic opportunities, yeah berkeley is not gonna be home for everybody
fun fact: the smu fanbase is truly unique in its composition, at this year's game in the wealthy enclave of highland park there wuz a relatively small crowd (less than actually 30,000 fans) due to the program's alienation of the greater dallas/ft worth area with its snobby trust funder reputation while the 100 mega filthy rich oil & gas donors (who raised $100,000,000+ the week after smu got invited into the acc) sit quietly in their private smoke screened private luxury boxes sipping grey goose in a low energy stadium
but with that being said the smu mustangs (11-3) will be the bears toughest opponent in 2025 when they visit berkeley in the fall of our lives
yeah making beautiful flower arrangements is more important to them curvy brunette yoga smu females than football, weird but true...girl, u need a ponytail!!
while smu will be cal's toughest opponent in 2025, the actual most challenging game will be at louisville (9-4)...the cards are well coached/financed with an elite rb1 isaac brown (who is not yet all grown up) & will be featuring usc transfer miller moss as qb1
yeah washington (6-7) along with disloyal florida state (2-10) wuz the biggest teams in decline during 2024 & neither program is particularly well positioned to return to prominence in 2025
college football is messy (just hoping the bears roadie isn't contested in the cold kentucky rain late in the fall/early winter)#
josiah is ALL IN on being undereducated with a worthless oklahoma degree & living in his mom's basement at age 30 (the nil dollars will be long gone) loading boxes off the back ramps at the buc-ee's in denton!!
2025 scholly roster departures: 30 departures at this moment
nohl williams, safety...out of eligibility craig woodson, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree miles williams, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree teddeye buchanan, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...uc davis degree xavier carlton, outside linebacker...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree liam johnson, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...princeton degree david reese, outside linebacker...out of eligibility...florida degree lachlan wilson, punter...out of eligibility...tulsa degree ricky correia, defensive lineman...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree tj session, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree rush reimer, offensive guard...out of eligibility...montana state degree will mcdonald, center...out of eligiblity...coastal carolina degree victor stoffel, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...temple degree chandler rogers, quarterback...out of eligibility...louisiana monroe degree corey dyches, tight end...out of eligibility...maryland degree matthew littlejohn, nickel...out of eligibility lu magia hearns, corner...out of eligibility marcus harris, corner...out of eligibility...idaho degree ryan coe, kicker...out of eligiblity kadarius calloway, running back...out of eligibility matthew wykoff, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to houston...berkeley degree jt byrne, tight end...grad transfer portal to georgia tech...berkeley degree nate rutchena, tight end...grad transfer portal...berkeley degree brooklyn cheek, defensive back...transfer portal to wyoming...no berkeley degree bobby engstler, punter...transfer portal...no berkeley degree nyziah hunter, wide receiver...transfer portal to nebraska...no berkeley degree fernando "caca" mendoza, quarterback...transfer portal to indiana...no berkeley degree david bird, long snapper...transfer portal to alabama...no berkeley degree josiah martin, wide receiver...transfer portal to oklahoma...no berkeley degree mikey matthews, wide receiver...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
2024 scholly roster departures: 43 bears moving on
matthew cindric, center...out of eligibility...berkeley haas biz school & masters education...new york jets barrett miller, tackle...out of eligibility...stanford engineering degree & berkeley cert program isaiah ifanse, running back...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program monroe young, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley degree brian hightower, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program darius long jr, defensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree jackson sirmon, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...new york jets patrick mcmorris, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...nfl drafted miami dolphins raymond woodie iii, safety...grad transfer portal to bethune cookman...berkeley degree ben finley, quarterback...grad transfer portal to akron...berkeley cert program tyson mcwilliams, cornerback...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree brayden rohme, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to massachusetts...berkeley degree kaleb elarms-orr, inside linebacker...transfer portal to tcu...no berkeley degree everett johnson, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to montana...berkeley degree blake antzoulatos, inside linebacker...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree king doerue, running back...football retirement...purdue degree jeremiah earby, cornerback...transfer portal to boise state...no berkeley degree sam jackson v, quarterback...transfer portal to auburn...no berkeley degree taj davis, wide receiver...football retirement...washington degree michael luckhurst, kicker...football retirement (cal soccer program)...pursuing berkeley degree muelu iosefa, inside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree moso'oipala "nunie" tuitele, te/olb...transfer portal to new mexico..no berkeley degree jeremiah hunter, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to washington...berkeley degree asher alberding, tight end...football retirement...berkeley haas global access program dejuan butler, defensive back...grad transfer portal to sacramento state...berkeley degree sailasa "sai" vadrawale, defensive back...transfer portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree andy alfieri, fullback/linebacker...grad transfer portal to oregon state..berkeley degree brian driscoll, offensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree brett johnson, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree jaedon roberts, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree mason mangum, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to texas a&m (track)...berkeley degree isaiah young, defensive back...football retirement...berkeley degree myles jernigan, linebacker...grad transfer portal to louisville...berkeley degree ender aguilar, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to tulsa...berkeley degree marquis montgomery, wide receiver...transfer portal to byu...no berkeley degree martin tine, offensive lineman...transfer portal to texas state...no berkeley degree kaylin moore, defensive back...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree tiumalu afalava, defensive lineman...transfer portal to san diego state...no berkeley degree marquez dortch, wide receiver...transfer portal to troy...no berkeley degree sergio allen, linebacker...football retirement...berkeley degree leremia leremia, defensive end...football retirement...no berkeley degree tidiane jalloh, outside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree ethan saunders, defensive end...football retirement...berkeley degree
note: kicker mateen bhaghani (ucla) not listed cuz he never had a scholly
2023 scholly roster departures: 36 bears moved on
daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree...nfl drafted indianapolis colts odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity...ucla degree jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity...berkeley degree darius long jr, defensive line...walk on final semester...berkeley degree kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona & bethune cookman...berkeley degree patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii...no berkeley degree henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement...berkeley degree femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree trey paster, linebacker...grad transfer to colorado state & bethune cookman...berkeley degree fatu iosefa, safety...portal to san mateo community college...no berkeley degree kaleb higgins, corner back...portal to sacramento state...no berkeley degree ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas & nevada...asu degree ryan lange, guard...football retirement...pursuing berkeley degree jackson brown, tackle..portal to pitt...no berkeley degree jake muller, tight end...football retirement...berkeley degree elijah mojarro, tight end...grad transfer to nevada & rice...berkeley degree nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada & washington...no berkeley degree jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree j michael sturdivant, wide receiver...portal to ucla & florida...no berkeley degree justin richard baker, wide receiver...medical retirement...berkeley degree tommy christakos, wide receiver...medical retirement...berkeley degree aidan lee, wide receiver...portal to garden city cc, minot state & bluefield state...no berkeley degree ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree chris street, running back...portal to utah tech...no berkeley degree damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state & lamar...no berkeley degree decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville...purdue degree...carolina panthers kai milner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
pitts, daws alienated his teammates early on showing them his luxury watch collection when some of them wuz eating ramen/opting to live further afar from campus and not living with the squad which helps build chemistry...then during the season he played terrible interior post defense as opponents ran thru him like a nyc turnstile at rush hour...both fardaws & cone (dealing with baby mama issues) picked up their d intensity very late in the season when it finally dawned on them that pro scouts are not gonna sign defensive liabilities
kennedy wuz the team's best defender, too bad he wasted his time in berkeley by literally not reading a single book & ****...bolted right after the final game to be never heard from again kinda like a dead prez or something
none of these guys evah embraced berkeley or took advantage of its academic opportunities, yeah berkeley is not gonna be home for everybody
All of that may be true, Shocks. Fardaws may have been an A-hole to his teammates, Cone may have had baby mama issues, and Kennedy may have wasted his time in Berkeley. I was only commenting on what Fardaws , Tyson, and Kennedy brought to the table defensively.
with a completely reimagined by meeks offensive line (all 3 portal transfers gotta legit opportunity to start alongside sioape) with physically larger human beings that won't have to resort to loser trick azz plays on 3rd/4th & 1 instead of just pounding for ground along with cefalo mandatory expectations for wideouts that actually ******* violently BLOCK & imaginative playcalling that includes PITCHOUTS (check out the pitch in the arizona game below) on the edges in wide open space, the monster is 100% expecting jaydn ott & jaivian thomas to form the most explosively DANGEROUS running back duo in collegiate football in 2025!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHAKABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
⚡️Week 12 Speed Demons: The 5 Fastest Plays in College Football 💨 #ReelSpeed#CFB
Josiah Martin's going to Oklahoma? Hey, to each his own, but I can't imagine how he's better off in Norman than in Berkeley. We valued his contributions here and gave him some real chances to shine. What do the Sooners have to offer? I see he's from Texas. Maybe it was a "culture" thing, or being closer to home (Denton, TX not too far away).
