cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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new strength & conditioning coach believes in an innovative concept called strength in motion (wilcox just calls it running in ******* circles)




shocky (wanted in 2 states can't move wrong) is just glad that novak made it out of lansing after all that happened#
Shocky1
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FUN cal's monster class quiz:

can u name the organization that this person works for in charge of tix sales & building the brand??
https://www.linkedin.com/in/markeisha-everett-6a24a7b

helpful hint: this person is an expert in TARP MANAGEMENT, led cal men's basketball to a 17th outta 18th 2024/2025 acc season attendance standing, tole kevin kennedy she wuz too busy when he asked for help in putting up the wildly successful cal football billboards nationwide & is the KEY innovator along with the con artist in refusing to offer FREE tixs to all students (yeah including the poor as **** kids like my berkeley grad moms back in the day) so they can celebrate with their classmates the magic of cal football & basketball on gamedays on the path to becoming future season tix buyers & maybe Builders of Berkeley

monster recommendations: when ron riviera is approved as berkeley's 1st football general manager by the uc board of regents at their next meeting on march 18th-20th then all tix sales & marketing functions should be divested from the worthless as **** financially bankrupt athletic department and passionate professionals (ideally from the haas biz school) should be hired from within memorial stadium to chart the course forward as an autonomous separate financial statement entity

valerie "vals" grimaldo (1st generation berkeley grad in 3 years) should be promoted to the director of branding & FUN gameday experiences with creative control working with learfield re: the celebration of cal traditions including the dj voiced over great cal band, increased player engagement with fans particularly women (this is a major point of targeted focus for the nfl) & children and more compelling media outreach in conjunction with the nationally recognized burner community

and yeah andrew mcgraw (berkeley grad, football walk on, cal band member, lead recruiter of new york jets TAKER ashtyn davis) should be the next athletic director charged with streamlining the # of sports teams from 28 to a more financially sustainable 15 that compete for championships...an internal "sale" of evans diamond & edwards field for the greater good the university needs to happen...the 1st men's & women's basketball general manager would report to mcgraw with the department's #1 goal being the successful fundraising of a dedicated basketball practice facility

we are ******* berkeley, we should always be thinking outside the box & playing our own kinda of music!!


Shocky1
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the development of young men into berkeley grad nfl prospects (starts with legit mentors)#
Econ141
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What a difference a GameDay makes
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
Shocky1
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the only basketball team in berkeley that plays wicked DEFENSE#
Shocky1
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2026 3.7 gpa ELITE gamebreaking 5'11" 190 lbs running back (#1 target on the bears rb big board) izayah lee with 21.1 mph SPEED from lancaster high school (south of dallas)#

the university of calveston=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna build generational wealth thru nfl development in the acc & hard work in the classrooms of berkeley without the lousy azz texas weather, just ask buc-ee)

Shocky1
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wowza, highly informative interview by jim mcgill with coach anae, meeks coached/developed a starting 5 that did NOT give up a single sack during the 2024 season!!


https://instagr.am/p/C8A_p26vxKE
hawaii is bear territory (just ask moani & the boy from kahuku)#


Shocky1
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Shocky1
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*** benji, shocky specifically tole u u not to announce his monster guest speaking appearance (rivera is not as knowledgeable) re: the magic of coore & crenshaw architecture, the role of triggering ponytails (and bad judgment) on planet earth & the importance of not running off an all american kicker, rite??



Shocky1
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2025 pga tournament at bay hill: 1st round update

collin morikawa (71, tied for 11th): every facet of collin's game is on point, when he wins golf tournaments he putts aggressively with speed (his achilles heel is putting tentatively & not releasing the putterhead which results in shoved missed putts to the right of the cup) & that's happening right now...morikawa can win this tournament!!

michael kim (75, tied for 33rd): michael wuz rolling along until the scary azz par 3 17th hole which has been renovated to take out the save bunker by the lake, kim's chunky iron shot resulted in a double bogey 5 but make no mistake about it he's still playing some brilliant golf

ben an (76, tied for 46th): this is a home game for the orlando (lake nona) resident ben but u can't score when the broomstick only makes 38 feet of putts in 18 holes (u can do the math like dr shock)

max homa (81, 71st): max gotta lousy early morning windy/freezing azz tee time, maybe homa & greiner will go to donald duck world tonite or something
Shocky1
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california golden bears 75
virginia cavaliers 58

minutes played in 1st round acc tournament victory by the 25-7 bears

ionna krimilli: 36 minutes (bizarro coaching decision in a blowout with notre dame in 24 hours)
marta suarez: 34 minutes (see above)
lulu twidale: 31 minutes
kayla williams: 29 minutes (should be rested for the irish)
jayda noble: 28 minutes (high energy DEFENSIVE performance)
michelle onyiah: 27 minutes
gisella maul: 8 minutes
gabriella abigor: 6 minutes (honestly just a really bad gameday coaching decision)
lola donez: 1 minute (really??)


fun fact: michelle onyiah sat by shocky for 15 minutes at an early fall football game at memorial stadium last season & tole me she turned down her former coach lindsey gottlieb's offer to play on a potential national championship usc team, ugonne is not only a GENERATIONAL TALENT (she just needed to be developed/coached up by the monster re: her delusional paranoia that refs wuz unfairly targeting her on foul calls) but also a LOYAL california golden bear

https://instagr.am/p/DG4LOBlsvSe
message to chancellor lyons: the fact that this FUN team played in front of tiny crowds (in a time of unprecedented growth of women's basketball) all season at haas pavillon due to an abject failure of the cal athletic department to sell tixs/market this team is yet another reason to clean house of disinterested bureaucrats that are 100% FAILING at their jobs...hiring a men's & women's basketball general manager that can successfully fundraise nil dollars & a dedicated basketball practice facility is the ONLY SOLUTION!!

THIS IS WHAT WE DO!!#
SBGold
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Econ141 said:



What a difference a GameDay makes
IU has a better tailgating scene about all but 5 of those schools.

Go Bears Forever
Shocky1
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^ goldy, the best tailgating experiences involve en fuego women not plus sized midwest farm girls puking up their day drinking on their coveralls, doesn't sound like u made it auburn last fall

https://instagr.am/p/CfSl6SmNNkC
indiana would literally be the last football gameday roadie choice for the monster, the hoosier state's arguably best golf course (victoria national in newburg is carved out of a strip coal mine) crooked stick on ditch road north of indy is a ******* housing development plus steak n' shake is good not great (and one hundo not healthy unless u wanna audition on broadway as a beached whale in the lion king or something)

real talk (the midwest is for losers)#
Shocky1
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coaching intensity (starts with edge defenders violently attacking qbs & wide receivers BLOCKING)#
Shocky1
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real talk: all shocky really saw in this video wuz the curvy brunette yoga female, wuz thinking she would be a top doggy dog if she got a triggering ponytail or something...the message to put another sleeve of pro vs in my golf bag wuz helpful tho
Shocky1
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2026 4.82 40 6'3" 250 lbs panther like edge defender josiah anyansi from murietta high school#

fun fact: shocky thinks unlv is a great college choice if ur dream jobs r working security at excalibur or valeting cars at the wynn when ur 30 years old!!

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and a short southwest flight on fall gamedays for the fam unlike boston)
Shocky1
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shocky (and riviera) vs wilcox (14-9 loss at florida state) coaching style on gamedays#
Shocky1
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shocky's rescue doggy dogs when he pulls out the lucky leashes for the morning hike up the mountain (this **** is getting live)#
Pittstop
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SBGold said:

Econ141 said:



What a difference a GameDay makes
IU has a better tailgating scene about all but 5 of those schools.

Go Bears Forever


Claims the advocate of the school that is not ranked at all.
OdontoBear66
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Pittstop said:

SBGold said:

Econ141 said:



What a difference a GameDay makes
IU has a better tailgating scene about all but 5 of those schools.

Go Bears Forever


Claims the advocate of the school that is not ranked at all.
I enjoy Cal's tailgate scene for its variety and uniqueness...I value Memorial as top drawer with location, view and ambiance. However, #3 in tailgating....That is hard to believe...
SBGold
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Shocky1 said:

^ goldy, the best tailgating experiences involve en fuego women not plus sized midwest farm girls puking up their day drinking on their coveralls, doesn't sound like u made it auburn last fall

https://instagr.am/p/CfSl6SmNNkC
indiana would literally be the last football gameday roadie choice for the monster, the hoosier state's arguably best golf course (victoria national in newburg is carved out of a strip coal mine) crooked stick on ditch road north of indy is a ******* housing development plus steak n' shake is good not great (and one hundo not healthy unless u wanna audition on broadway as a beached whale in the lion king or something)

real talk (the midwest is for losers)#
I did make it to Auburn. Their tailgating was mostly paid for tents trying to replicate the Grove outside of the stadium. It was fine, not anything special like UTenn or Ole Miss.

the midwest Big 10 girls favor very comparably female-wise to any southern school.

Go Bears Forever
SBGold
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Pittstop said:

SBGold said:

Econ141 said:



What a difference a GameDay makes
IU has a better tailgating scene about all but 5 of those schools.

Go Bears Forever


Claims the advocate of the school that is not ranked at all.
That was kind of my point, I've been to at least half of these listed and IU (and probably other Big 10 schools) outrank many of them.

Go Bears Forever
Shocky1
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goldy, we're on the same page, let's meet up for the louisville tailgate on saturday november 8th even tho the state of kentucky banned shocky from every jewelry store, they say he can't even be in public with his cal hoodie on

wut??

Shocky1
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2025 pga tournament at bay hill: 2nd round update

collin morikawa (68, tied for 3rd): putting fearlessly on the smoking fast greens like his 12 year old version of himself, morikawa played bogey free with a couple of world class filthy bunker shots which is gonna be a critical skillset on the 200+ penal bunkers at the 2025 us open site oakmont...yeah collin is 3rd in driving accuracy (20 out of 28 fairways) & 1st in scrambling (up & down 13 out of 14 times), morikawa can win this tournament!!

for the 2nd day in a row the supposedly smart haas biz ad grad hit his drive on bay hill's easiest hole the par 5 16th hole into the right fairway bunker which is kinda like death warmed over...collin, aim ur ******* drive tomorrow down the left rough line & cut the ball back into play, ok??...this really isn't that complicated (unlike ur non existent acting skills) brah

https://instagr.am/p/DGWshmfvfX_
michael kim (69, tied for 19th): despite a pulled 175 yard 6 iron from the fairway on the par 4 9th hole which resulted in a double bogey 6, michael is still playing as well as anybody on the pga tour with peaceful fluidity...3 birdies to start the round & 5 birdies on the day is a reflection of this world class putter with the high hands at address...hitting his drives on the candy azz soft par 5 16th hole into the right fairway bunker both rounds (same dumb azz **** as collin) that resulted in pars no es bueno, tu no es un stupido señor, hit ur draw tomorrow off the right bunker!!


ben an (69, tied for 24th): terrific round of 4 birdies only derailed by a pulled drive on the scoreable par 5 12th hole into a fairway bunker which led to a series of misadventures & a bogey 6...odd decision on the par 5 6th hole when from 250 yards ben opted to lay up leaving an awkward 75 yard pitch shot which angle wise left no chance of hitting tight which resulted in a kinda disappointing par 5

max homa (70, missed cut): just a beautiful serotonin moment when max chunked a chip shot on the par 3 2nd hole 25 feet hole in wut appeared to be another 80+ round, then homa drained the par putt & his best friend caddie joey greiner wildly waved the flagstaff in excitement kinda like they just won another pga tournament!!...5 birdies & an eagle today, max's game is very close to becoming special again...worst player/caddie decision of all time: hitting a 210 yard lay up shot off the tee into the rough on the 378 yards par 4 dogleg right 10th hole which led to a double bogey that derailed the round, hit the ******* driver next time guys!!



SBGold
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/C7cOmgjuHev
goldy, we're on the same page, let's meet up for the louisville tailgate on saturday november 8th even tho the state of kentucky banned shocky from every jewelry store, they say he can't even be in public with his cal hoodie on

wut??


Sounds like a plan. I am planning on being at the 'Ville when Cal shocks the nation on the road.

Go Bears Forever
Shocky1
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have u hugged (or tongue kissed in shocky's case) ur favorite doggy dog today??#
Shocky1
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^ this is world class creativity/branding of the cal football program which one hundo percent needs to be completely divested from an inept (and anti football/basketball agenda) & financially bankrupt athletic department!!


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university on PLANET EARTH
Shocky1
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reader's note: kudos to mcgill asking about novak after all that happened

sei kein dummkopf#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including cologne)

Shocky1
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go bares & ponytails (clothes r for losers)#
Shocky1
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2025 pga tournament at bay hill: 3rd round update

collin morikawa (67, 1st place): how solid is collin's all around game right now?...morikawa is 1st in the field in strokes gained into greens (iron shotmaking is 100% dialed in) & scrambling (16 out of 18 up & downs), 3rd in driving accuracy (30 out of 42 fairways) & rolling the rock with confidence (that slick downhill birdie putt on the 18th hole wuz rolled in with ice in his veins kinda like mateen bhaghani center cut field goal kicks)!!


collin is smiling a lot which is always a great sign for the foodie prior to mealtime & got a huge advantage over his closest pursuer russell henley who gotta very low ball flight trajectory & will likely struggle tomorrow in holding the brutally firmed up concrete greens with his approach shots bounding over greens

but it aggravates the monster to no end that all 3 rounds morikawa has driven into the right fairway bunker on the easiest hole at bay hill the par 5 16th hole...brah, would u please ******* line up ur drive tomorrow down the left rough cut line & then fade it back into the center??...honestly not sure if shocky really believes ur really a haas biz ad grad with ur dumb azz tee ball alignments on the 16th hole!!

michael kim (67, tied for 5th): another fabulous round for the mentally loosest player on the pga tour, no bogeys & 2 eagles on both of the back nine par 5s vaulted michael up the leaderboard!!...there's zero pressure on kim, he's playing with house money & a strong final round tomorrow is inching him closer to a potential 2025 masters invitation at augusta national which will be extended to the top 50 in the official world golf rankings at the end of this month (michael is currently #68)...and yeah props to the volunteer working the front left bunker on the 12th hole!!


ben an (70, tied for 17th): potential round in the 60s didn't happen due to the long bombing ben driving it into the rough on 3 of the scoreable par 5s which resulted in pars...fully expect the orlando resident to play a strong round manana before getting his tires checked at discount tire on the way home to dinner with the fam at lake nona
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


2026 3.6 gpa 6'7" 290 lbs quinn buckey from liberty high school in bakersfield#

fun facts: this is a high academic football family with dad jeff (played o-line for the 49ers, stanford grad) & older bros zach (stanford, offensive line) & grant (ucla, defensive line)

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


2026 6'3" 289 lbs ELITE defensive tackle nemyah talon from delasalle high school#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for independent thinkers that know that tosh tells the truth 17% of the time)
cal's monster class recruiting update: quick twitch +1 athletic nemyah is gonna official visit cal on may 9th, talon intends to graduate from delasalle in december & enroll in college in january of 2026


Shocky1
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"low quality pic with high quality people!"#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university on every island in the pacific ocean
Shocky1
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2026 6'3" 200 lbs wide receiver luc weaver from notre dame high school in sherman oaks#


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including erewhon)
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

2026 4.1 gpa 6'5" 310 lbs interior trench worker artem korchagin from thomas county central high school in georgia (close to the florida border & tallahassee) is gonna take an official visit to berkeley on june 13-15th

don't judge fast rising artem by his offers, he's been playing football for only 2 years & the relentless worker's upside is limitless plus he's smart as ****


artem, r u ready to check out the cosmopolitan west coast (san francisco got the most european vibes of any city in the united states) with ideal cali weather (aren't u kinda tired of the nasty humid hot as **** southern weather??) & learn more about building generational wealth thru nfl development with meeks in the acc & hard work in the classrooms of berkeley??



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the beautiful people from eastern slavic european countries)


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