giancarlo to ucla & gonna compete with a 2025 scholly snapper

What exactly is this dog protecting 😂 pic.twitter.com/htAftJ4vYh

— Banned Vids (@VidsBanned) June 2, 2025

did u walk ur doggy dog today (shocky is such a good boy)??#

Poison challenge ☠️🎤#GoBears pic.twitter.com/WjB4sVMoos

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) June 17, 2025

jellybeans r for losers (32 oz green juices r for winners)#

https://instagr.am/p/DKcJzwgI0-M
2025 travelers championship at river highlands: 1st round update

collin morikawa (67, tied for 15th): looks comfortable over the ball with his new putter but still lacked the speed to hold the lines with multiple 10 foot & less birdie putts predictably lost to the low side...ball striking is elite (16 out of 18 greens in regulation other than the double cross pull (which wuz a reaction to the cut drive into the deep fairway bunker on the 12th hole) on the scoreable par 5 13th hole which led to a bogey 6...played in the tougher swirling afternoon winds, tomorrow morning's early am tee time will be go time!!

fun fact: for the 1st time evah in a competitive round, collin played without a glove except for his wedge shots...always tryna get better despite leading the field at the us open at oakmont in strokes gained on approach shots

max homa (68, tied for 26th): after a couple of uncharacteristic pulled birdie putts early in the round, outstanding finish with birdies on the par 4 17th & 18 holes for max!!...gotta love homa's relationship with his new caddie mr quiet who really doesn't say jack **** other than giving hazard yardage distances on tee balls...since max don't got a dedicated yoga/meditation practice, he gotta find tranquility in his mind on the golf course thru silence

michael kim (68, tied for 26th): excellent 3 under front nine but kinda stalled out on the back nine, the growth of michael's game whereby a kinda average day is still shooting a 68 is why kim is moving up the official world golf rankings since shocky's intervention/mentoring him at the phoenix open this year

Lots of interesting new changes here at the @Travelers championship.
More thick fescue down fairways on 2 6 7. pic.twitter.com/ksHyaURWU5

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) June 18, 2025

byeong hun an: (69, tied for 36th): like collin pulled his drive into the train tracks outta bounds on the par 5 13th hole which led to a double bogey but playing really strong golf otherwise hitting 13 outta 14 fairways other than the ****show on the unlucky 13th hole

🇫🇷 Oui-Play in Paris to open the 2025-26 season against Vanderbilt on Nov. 3! 🇫🇷

Read more here: https://t.co/GlGxZIpFNb pic.twitter.com/3VKc9PU95B

— Cal Basketball (@CalWBBall) June 19, 2025

paris (the city of lights)=the most ROMANTIC city in the world (brandon, it's NOT ******* tuscon)#

https://instagr.am/p/B4Inh53hMAM
2025 travelers championship at tpc river highlands: 2nd round update

ben an (68, tied for 17th): an uphill 17 footer birdie 3 on the par 4 18th hole capped off a terrific 2 under par round that skyrocketed ben 19 spots up on the leaderboard...byeong is tied for 2nd in the field in driving accuracy with 23 outta 28 fairways hits in the first 2 rounds...ben's 1st pga victory is gonna happen sooner than later!!

collin morikawa (71, tied for 25th): good news: collin is flighting shots thru windows with his patented fade like someone whose won 2 major championships!!...bad news: collin is putting/misreading breaks (which results in him waving his wrist around in a contorted rose bowl parade wave) like a goat is standing on his head or something & morikawa is so ******* stubborn like a goat he won't bring in joe greiner for a 2nd opinion on greens reads like he does every other shot

fun fact: collin gotta visible neck hickey from kat last nite!!

michael kim (71, tied for 31st): playing some really strong golf particularly in scrambling (getting up & down 10 outta 13 times in the first 2 rounds) but the round got kinda derailed by the unforced dumb azz missed wedge on the par 3 11th hole which left him brutally short sided & resulted in a double bogey 5

max homa (71, tied for 31st): valiant battling with a good/positive attitude in tough scoring conditions, max is currently #107 in the pga rankings (the top 100 earn their 2026 pga tour card)

2025 california state amateur: shooting 70 & 72 in stroke play qualifying at granite bay (an above average housing development course near sacramento) kai hirayama won his 1st round match play but lost in the round of 16...former us amateur finalist michael weaver (shot 145) & current bear matthew miyamoto (shot 149, dad craig also competed) did not advance to match play (top 32 in stroke play)

Well Done @HarrisonTaggar4 @MAOkwura @dazminjames
For winning the Week 4 Iron Bear Belt!!! #SmartAndTough pic.twitter.com/zDei1c81DF

— Jason Novak (@Coachjasonnovak) June 20, 2025

^ harrison looks like he spends a lotta money on hair product, michael looks like he's NOT ******* around & dazmin got good hair in a boy band kinda way or something

https://instagr.am/p/DKxcAVIS5Iy
random thoughts from the monster#

https://instagr.am/p/DLI8FybPsdb


2025 summer of love (in cali)!!#

^ agreed forcey, dazmin gotta unreal SPEED but he dropped a lotta passes during spring ball & gotta bring more mental FOCUS to his game as his upside development with coach cefalo is virtually unlimited with his gameday playmaking potential!!

https://instagr.am/p/DEIRdYTxACr

dear brandon,

how r u??

i am fine

this is the sorry azz vision of tuscon that the wildcats staff is tryna sell u

Can’t wait to get down to Tucson for my OV this weekend! @RealCoachCarter @CoachChipViney @CoachBrennan @Fletcher_UofA pic.twitter.com/PaNwvEdVtS

— Brandon Smith 3⭐️ATH (@brandonsmith026) June 19, 2025

this is the REALITY, tuscon is a ******* dump & a hot as hell ****show big 12 truck stop town for low gpa ballers who wanna clean shocky's cobalt blue tiled swimming pool when they turn 30 years old, u feel me??



brah, u got a 3.3 gpa, u can do the berkeley academic work & develop ur potential nfl upside in the beautiful diverse coastal cool san francisco bay area, the truth is that cal, stanford & the ivy league prepare its grads to build generational wealth in a highly competitive global economy that discards those that take the easy way out (like the pool party at coach's house in the catalina foothills) in life

u evah dream of ur moms & fam car pooling with the families of ur bros ej & reekus on fall gamedays from fresno to berkeley??...getting together for breakfast on the road while laughing/listening to FUN music while driving to the bay looking forward to bears games at memorial stadium while celebrating their sons collegiate experiences together??...how much money do non direct flights from fresno to tuscon cost along with rip off priced rental cars, unsanitary hotels, meals at dogfood restaurants, u doing the math??

brandon, u got any questions, just send me a message, shocky is here to help in a non judgmental way

no cap

shocky

https://instagr.am/p/CnSO5U6jbrS
^ monster putting tip (the toe block) for collin

2025 travelers championship at tpc river highlands: 3rd round update

ben an (69, tied for 25th): playing terrific golf but gotta figure out a better strategy on the scoreable par 5 13th hole, byeong has played it in 4 over par in the first 3 rounds giving away probably a half a dozen strokes to the leaders just on this hole

michael kim (67, tied for 25th): terrific bogey free round, world class scrambling this week getting it up & down 14 outta 17 times!!

collin morikawa (69, tied for 33rd): joe & collin gotta figure out a better starting/finish line on the tee ball on the downhill par 4 12th hole, missed the fairway both left & right all 3 rounds & playing it 4 over par...will be interesting to track this tee ball manana for a guy 3rd in the field in driving accuracy at 78%...bottom of the field scrambling this week, only getting it up & down 5 outta 14 times plus zero putts made over 12 feet, ouch

max homa (71, tied for 46th): missed 19 fairways in the first 3 rounds, gotta drive the ball in play to score on the pga tour

2025 british amateur update:

former bear (transferred to the low gpa cowboys) ethan fang wins the trophy at the fabulous royal cinque ports on the southeast english coast

That's one way to start your quarter-final match 🏌️‍♂️

An impressive approach from 16-year-old Callixte Alzas 🇫🇷

Watch live here 👉 https://t.co/0CcPgkSJP2 pic.twitter.com/wWKNPVlRO1

— The R&A (@RandA) June 20, 2025

https://www.tiktok.com/@therandagolf/video/7517947459264318742
2026 cal commit callixte alzas (only 16 years old) from france (plays out of golf de saint-cloud which is west of paris) went low shooting 70 & 66 in stroke play to advance to match play, won his first 3 matches before losing to fang in the quarterfinals...FABULOUS tournament for the young frenchman with future pga tour upside, c'est magnifque!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_n5OP4NC6y
senior captain charlie berridge shot a very solid 70 & 73 in stroke play but did not advance to the field of 64 match play

future superstar sophomore zinqin zhou shot 73 & 77 as he gains valuable 1st hand experience about the infinite vagaries of playing pure links golf

cal is a golf school (with a trending football program)#

california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused cuz he got worser seats):

doechii, why don't you introduce the yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2026 class:

ernest nunley, corner/nickel (3.25 gpa)
rocky cummings, linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tyree "reekus" sams, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
kamo'i huihui-white, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
nainoa lopes, quarterback (3.57 gpa)
kingston "lucky" schirmer, defensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
esaiah wong, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
luca georg wolf, tight end (motivated student from austria)
frank fauna jr, defensive lineman (4.0 gpa)
emmanuel "ej" morgan, wide receiver/kick returner (4.3 gpa)
koloi keli, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
brady palmer, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
taimane purcell, tight end (3.9 gpa)
tommy tofi, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
nemyah telona, defensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
victor santino, running back (3.0+ gpa)
elisha faamatuainu, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
jaxon pyatt, linebacker (3.4 gpa)
camron brooks, edge defender (3.0+ gpa)
artem korchagin, offensive lineman (4.1 gpa)
jonathan mckinley, linebacker (4.83 gpa)
deon jackson, corner/nickel (3.0+ gpa)
jaydn crowder, corner/nickel (3.4 gpa)

2025 class:

michael kern, punter (3.4 gpa)
landon morris, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jayden dixon-veal, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
lj johnson, running back (3.7 gpa)
abram murray, kicker (4.0 gpa)
brent "paco" wilson corner/nickel (3.3 gpa)
jordan sanford, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
harrison taggart, linebacker (3.9 gpa)
chase meyer, kicker (4.3 gpa)
mark hamper, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
zae smith, defensive tackle (3.37 gpa)
daveion harley, offensive lineman (3.36 gpa)
kendrick raphael, running back (3.8 gpa)
quimari shemwell, corner/nickel back (3.0+ gpa)
brandon high jr, running back (3.3 gpa)
rino monteforte, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
tj bush, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
quaron adams, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
chris victor, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
jojo genova, offensive lineman (3.5 gpa)
erik peters, kicker (3.9 gpa)
devin brown, quarterback (4.4 gpa)
dazmin james, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
justin hasenhuetl, interior offensive lineman (3.75 gpa)
jacob de jesus, wide receiver/kick returner (3.67 gpa)
caleb johnston, longsnapper (3.5 gpa)
simon mapa, tight end (3.47 gpa)
mason mini, tight end (3.8 gpa)
john gayer, edge defender (2.8 gpa)
jordon moko, offensive line (3.8 gpa)
jayden wayne, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
brook honoree jr, punter (3.8 gpa)
dominic ingrassia, quarterback (3.2 gpa)
jaron keawe sagapolutele, quarterback (3.75 gpa)
buom jock, inside linebacker (3.1 gpa)
leon bell, offensive tackle (3.1 gpa)
tristan dunn, safety (3.0 gpa)
lamar robinson, offensive guard (3.5 gpa)
tyson ruffins, interior offensive lineman (3.8 gpa)
lajuan owens, left tackle (3.2 gpa)
hezekiah masses, corner/nickel (2.7 gpa)
kyle cunanan, kicker (3.73 gpa)
tyson ford, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
odera okaka, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
john tofi jr, edge defender (3.8 gpa)
aiden manutai, safety (4.0 gpa)
tre' harrison, safety (4.83 gpa)
mike klisiewicz, offensive lineman (3.7 gpa)
jacob houseworth, tight end (3.25 gpa)
jae'on young, corner/nickel back (3.4 gpa)
lebron williams, defensive end (3.2 gpa)
beckham barney, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
anthony league, running back (3.9 gpa)
ikechukwu okafor, edge defender (3.7 gpa)
ben howard, offensive guard (3.2 gpa)
meyer swinney, hybrid wide receiver/tight end (3.75 gpa)
kaden cook, cornerback (3.4 gpa)

2024 class:

will mcdonald, left guard (3.5 gpa)
checkhsaliou fall, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
cj harris, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
serigne tounkara, edge defender (3.88 gpa)
kyion graves, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
ryan yaites, safety (3.2 gpa)
jasiah wagoner, corner/nickel back (3.25 gpa)
tj bollers, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
corey dyches, hybrid tight end/wide receiver (3.1 gpa)
braden miller, offensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
liam johnson, inside linebacker (3.36 gpa at princeton)
khamani hudson, cornerback (3.5 gpa)
bobby engstler, punter/kicker (3.72 gpa)
jonathan "gameday" brady, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
mikey miller, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
victor stoffel, offensive tackle (motivated student in sweden)
kadarius calloway, running back (2.7 gpa)
ryan coe, kicker (3.5 gpa)
tobias merriweather, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ja'ir smith, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
syris corley, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
rush reimer, offensive lineman (3.3 gpa)
marcus harris, defensive back (3.2 gpa)
aidan ikaika keanaaina, defensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
aiden newbill, offensive line (3.72 gpa)
isaiah crosby, safety (3.0+ gpa)
luke ferrelli, inside linebacker (4.0 gpa)
chandler rogers, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
teddye buchanan, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
josiah martin, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
jack endries, tight end (3.83 gpa)
trond grizzell, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu, defensive back (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (3.0+ gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (2.9 gpa)
camden jones, tight end (2.8 gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquis montgomery, wide receiver (3.4 gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (2.9 gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)
david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (2.8 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
jaivian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, offensive line (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.85 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class...don't forget to take the chicken out

https://instagr.am/p/DAb8NtkBYtv

https://instagr.am/p/CbVB7YMrsvg
MONSTER message to every cal student athlete:

u need to ride a bicycle, take a boat or steal a car & get to muir woods during the next 72 hours which got the TALLEST TREES on planet earth, got it??

do NOT ignore the MONSTER, shocky does not wanna hear ur sorry azz excuses!!



and nearby is stinson beach which got a path where shocky got the 1st kiss of his life that did not involve either his moms or his doggy dog blaze, yeah shoski gotta lotta tongue from that curvy brunette yoga female (plus some bonus azz palming)



let's ******* go!!

https://instagr.am/p/CdQmI8krrVM


this is NOT tuscon#

Much love to @CalFootball camp. Had a ton of fun competing and winning Offensive Line Fastest Man & MVP. pic.twitter.com/FYYbbgPKet

— Dobie Foisia (@dtfoisia220) June 22, 2025

dobie gotta MOTOR (would luv to see sioape play with this much energy on EVERY snap with no plays off, earn a berkeley degree & then get PAID in the NFL)!!#

New Bears on the block 🐻🏠#GoBears pic.twitter.com/a6CqJBebTj

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) June 22, 2025

to be young (with the pacific ocean coastal breezes at ur back on move in day)#

https://instagr.am/p/DKQxwVcx8K9
^ gabi's reaction to cade uluave's air practice swings!!

2025 travelers championship at tpc river highlands: 4th round update

ben an (67, tied for 14th): terrific week for ben with a clean no bogey 3 birdie final round...bizarro world: missed the fairway to the left again for the 4th round in a row on the scoreable short par 5 13th in playing it in 4 over par for the week, needs to formulate a better start/finish line off the tee in his mind next year at the travelers

collin morikawa (72, tied for 42nd): brah, the heat index is 100+, why u wearing all black, r u a ninja or something??...congrats on finally hitting the 12th fairway today!!...monster pro tips: wear all white on steamy hot days, work on ur scrambling shots around the green & play for more break on ur putts

michael kim (73, tied for 42nd: michael also got zapped by the par 5 13th hole hitting his tee ball into the lake on the right en route to losing 2 water balls & a triple bogey 8, no es bueno but maybe kim will soothe his hurt feelings with his beloved chipotle after the round

Thoughts from Travelers:
-I had a decent tournament but finished with a lousy Sunday. It was mostly one hole, the 13th, I made a triple. I hit three poor shots in a row. 🤦🏻‍♂️ It happens. My putter was a bit of a let down as well.
-Gutted for Tommy. I heard he looked undecided on… pic.twitter.com/vt6ASq0WZo

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) June 23, 2025

max homa (72, tied for 53rd): max missed 26 fairways during his 4 rounds, now stands at #116 in the fed ex standings with the 2025 regular season starting to wind down (the top 100 retain their pga cards for 2026)

Thanks for the great updates on our Bear golfers. After watching Fleetwood and Henley miss all their important putts right with their claw grip, I can imagine Collin doing the same as you've mentioned before. Watching Fleetwood struggle finishing was so much like watching Cal football games the last few years!

davey, ur comments re: the claw r something that's making more & more sense, it's a shame that collin did NOT make a single putt this week at the travelers over 12 feet

shocky's goals later this week in detroit:

1) visit the motown museum dedicated to motown records founder berry gordy & play oakland hills south gil hanse restoration of the donald ross classic gem
2) dine on an authentic coney island dog with mustard & some fries...avoid gas station sushi, look around for a buc-ee's
3) work with collin morikawa at the rocket mortgage re: his putting (note to koa: tell ur dad to pack noise reduction headphones this week)
4) reinvigorate michael kim in his final push to qualify for the 2025 british open just like shocky did at the phoenix open (if he plays well this week hope he doesn't thx again his "gallery" when in reality the only person walking all 18 holes with him is shocky)
5) lift max homa's spirits, tommy fleetwood gut wrenching positive attitude is the goal, not the dodger fan's pity parties every time a putt curls by the hole
6) making sure ben an takes the right start/finish lines on the narrow fairways at detroit golf club
7) storm the ******* 18th green after a california golden bear sets the course record (note to the monster: bring some cash bail bond get outta jail money)



not gonna visit michigan state after all that happened#

OL commit Tommy Tofi in the Cal hat at the Rivals Five-Star event in Indianapolis

(📸: @MattRMoreno) pic.twitter.com/35V0CZhU7P

— Cal Rivals (@CalRivals) June 23, 2025

tommy got good hair (unlike coach anae who gets the supercuts on durant 12 bucks tuesday afternoon special discount trim with air scissors cutting)#

Shocky1 said:

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The journey to London begins. Go Bears! Go USA! pic.twitter.com/pg1D4Y2T

— Jenny Simon-O'Neill (@BearsInLondon) July 17, 2012

bluehen, thx you for sharing this very IMPORTANT article & kudos to sf chronicle sports editor alex simon for writing the truth about the racist evil as **** jennifer simon-o'neil who is now somehow the interim co associate athletic director

"jenny" has FAILED the female student athletes in berkeley by not protecting them from harm's way, she presides over her empire of dirt with the vast majority of women's sports programs at the bottom of their conferences & has worked against the football & men's basketball teams for years


https://writeforcalifornia.com/p/uc-berkeley-investigating-cal-athletic-director

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softball update: head coach chelsea spencer is stepping down at this time, not gonna get into the ugly details but all parties need a reset from the toxic relationships with players, bearents & staff

the few remaining players that contributed this past season are now eligible to transfer during a special ncca 30 day portal window for head coaching changes...the roster has been almost 100% gutted

spencer is a loyal berkeley grad/former standout but lacks the interpersonal communication/relationship building skills to run a d1 softball program, her instability wuz perhaps reflected in her beyond bizarro land 3rd base coaching which ran the bears into 150+ base running outs each of the last 2 seasons

spencer wuz hired by jennifer simon-o'neil who is overseeing her empire of dirt, the overwhelming majority of cal women's teams are at the bottom of their conferences as they unsuccessfully ask berkeley grads for money to support these grossly mismanaged programs
_____________________________________________________

right now multiple women's teams are poorly run ****shows:

women's basketball: failed to measurably increase attendance despite this past season's generational squad, has a head coach who is an introvert that cannot raise nil funds & the hiring of an unqualified marketing director in markeisha everrett

women's softball: multiple portal entrants today including the team's leading homerun hitter tianna bell, simon-o'neil has no ability to fundraise nil dollars with her unlikeable arrogant personality

women's gymnastics: head coaches leaving to clemson & roster retention under attack, once again no relationships in place to raise funds for the program

women's volleyball: 15-17 record last season & 7-13 in acc play

women's field hockey: 7-10 record last season & 1-6 in acc play

women's lacrosse: 6-10 record last season & 0-9 in acc play

women's track & field: tied for 12th place in the acc indoor championship last season

women's cross country: 15th place in the acc tournament last season

women's sand volleyball: there's no dedicated basketball practice facility in berkeley but o'neil is tryna get a new sand volleyball facility built for the maybe 100+ fans

women's soccer: allegations of bullying/coaching abuse brought by berkeley student athletes against neil mcguire

women's swimming: lawsuits from the families of former swimmers with suicidal iderations against the racist corrupt athletic department senior management until the end of time

jennifer simon-o'neil is EVIL as ****#

Shocky1 said:

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Novato Rules https://t.co/GXleDKnnGW

— Nick Rolovich (@NickRolovich) June 15, 2025

all american linebacker/future cal golf walk on cade uluave drains the 10 foot birdie putt with NO EFFORT!!

hopefully coach bruno got the backer room extra orders of the pork dumplings & the beef tofu at china palace afterwards...the goffs & schulzie luv that fine dining (panda xxpress is dogfood for dumb azz white people)!!

---

Another GREAT time hanging out with this group for dinner tonight!!! Can’t wait for fall camp to be here!!!! Thank you to @kobejapandining for a GREAT experience and time!!! #GoBears #SmartAndTough pic.twitter.com/b0DJzmVfXv

— Michael Bruno (@Coach_MikeBruno) June 24, 2025

hey bruno, why do the monster's ******* invitations to all these FUN activities keep getting "lost in the mail??"

but to honest with u, the only person in ur room that shocky would trust with sharp cooking knives & **** would be buom jock, u feel me??

shocky luvs his miso soup with extra tofu#

arizona is reporting that brandon smith committed to the wildcats this weekend, he's gonna be handing out towels at the lifetime fitness on 1st street in fresno when he's 30 years old...hopefully future berkeley grads/successful wealth builders ej & reekus will throw a couple of bucks at their bro every now & then

don't be a dumb azz (life after football)#

Shocky1 said:

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arizona is reporting that brandon jones committed to the wildcats this weekend, he's gonna be handing out towels at the lifetime fitness on 1st street in fresno when he's 30 years old...hopefully future berkeley grads/successful wealth builders ej & reekus will throw a couple of bucks at their bro every now & then

don't be a dumb azz (life after football)#

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Who is Brandon Jones?

^ i dunno, maybe someone who lacks academic mentoring (cats rb coach alonzo carter is a self serving promoter) to explain the lifetime value of a cal, stanford & ivy league degree & whose probably gonna be cleaning shocky's cobalt blue tiled swimming pool in north scottsdale when they 30 years old??

https://instagr.am/p/DLQk4pEML8k


don't be a dumb azz (ur fam can't drive from fresno to tuscon on gamedays)#

First. XV. #GoBears pic.twitter.com/DohB9KU6fp

— Cal Varsity Rugby (@CalVarsityRugby) May 3, 2025

congrats to aspiring neurobiologist leremia leremia from porirua new zealand graduating this may with a berkeley degree in molecular and cellular biology!!

2025 scholly roster departures: 51 departures at this moment

nohl williams, safety...out of eligibility...pursuing berkeley degree...nfl drafted kansas city chiefs
craig woodson, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree...nfl drafted new england patriots
miles williams, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
teddeye buchanan, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...uc davis degree...nfl drafted baltimore ravens
xavier carlton, outside linebacker...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree...nfl free agent signed chicago bears
liam johnson, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...princeton (ivy league) degree
david reese, outside linebacker...grad transfer portal to syracuse...florida degree
lachlan wilson, punter...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
ricky correia, defensive lineman...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree...nfl free agent signed new york giants
tj session, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
rush reimer, offensive guard...out of eligibility...montana state degree...nfl free agent signed buffalo bills
will mcdonald, center...out of eligiblity...coastal carolina degree
victor stoffel, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...temple degree
chandler rogers, quarterback...nfl declaration...louisiana monroe degree
corey dyches, tight end...out of eligibility...maryland degree
lu magia hearns, corner...out of eligibility...pursuing berkeley degree
marcus harris, corner...out of eligibility...idaho degree...nfl drafted tennessee titans
ryan coe, kicker...out of eligiblity...north carolina degree...nfl free agent signed tampa bay buccaneers
matthew wykoff, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to houston...berkeley degree
jt byrne, tight end...grad transfer portal to georgia tech...berkeley degree
nate rutchena, tight end...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
brooklyn cheek, defensive back...transfer portal to wyoming...no berkeley degree
bobby engstler, punter...transfer portal to arkansas state...no berkeley degree
nyziah hunter, wide receiver...transfer portal to nebraska...no berkeley degree
fernando "caca" mendoza, quarterback...transfer portal to indiana...no berkeley degree
david bird, long snapper...transfer portal to alabama...no berkeley degree
josiah martin, wide receiver...transfer portal to oklahoma...no berkeley degree
mikey matthews, wide receiver...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
cheikh saliou fall, edge defender...out of eligibility...eastern kentucky degree
cj harris, quarterback...grad transfer portal...ohio university degree
matthew littlejohn, defensive back...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
collin gamble, defensive back...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
justin "j-will" williams-thomas...grad transfer portal to marshall...berkeley degree
byron "unk" cardwell jr...grad transfer portal to san diego state...berkeley degree
mavin anderson...grad transfer portal to texas state...berkeley degree
jaydn ott...grad transfer to oklahoma...berkeley degree
mason starling...grad transfer portal to san jose state...berkeley degree
trent ramsey...grad transfer portal to appalachian state...berkeley degree
kadarius calloway...transfer portal to new mexico state...no berkeley degree
dylan jemtegaard...grad transfer portal to montana...mechanical engineering berkeley degree
jaivian "the jet" thomas...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
john gayer...transfer portal to utah state...no berkeley degree
simon mapa...transfer portal...no berkeley degree
myles williams...grad transfer portal to nevada...berkeley degree
camden jones...transfer portal...no berkeley degree
jonathan brady...transfer portal to indiana...no berkeley degree
ryan yaites...transfer portal to tcu...no berkeley degree
kyle cunanan, transfer portal to nebraska...no berkeley degree
caleb johnston, transfer portal...no berkeley degree
tobias merriweather, transfer portal to utah...no berkeley degree
hunter barth, grad transfer portal to stanford..berkeley degree

note: kicker derek morris (umass) not listed cuz he never had a scholly

2024 scholly roster departures: 43 bears moving on

matthew cindric, center...out of eligibility...berkeley haas biz school & masters education...new york jets
barrett miller, tackle...out of eligibility...stanford engineering degree & berkeley cert program
isaiah ifanse, running back...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
monroe young, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
brian hightower, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
darius long jr, defensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
jackson sirmon, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...new york jets
patrick mcmorris, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...nfl drafted miami dolphins
raymond woodie iii, safety...grad transfer portal to bethune cookman...berkeley degree
ben finley, quarterback...grad transfer portal to akron...berkeley cert program
tyson mcwilliams, cornerback...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
brayden rohme, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to massachusetts...berkeley degree
kaleb elarms-orr, inside linebacker...transfer portal to tcu...no berkeley degree
everett johnson, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to montana...berkeley degree
blake antzoulatos, inside linebacker...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
king doerue, running back...football retirement...purdue degree
jeremiah earby, cornerback...transfer portal to boise state...no berkeley degree
sam jackson v, quarterback...transfer portal to auburn & oklahoma state...no berkeley degree
taj davis, wide receiver...football retirement...washington degree
michael luckhurst, kicker...football retirement (cal soccer program)...pursuing berkeley degree
muelu iosefa, inside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree
moso'oipala "nunie" tuitele, te/olb...transfer portal to new mexico..no berkeley degree
jeremiah hunter, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to washington...berkeley degree
asher alberding, tight end...football retirement...berkeley haas global access program
dejuan butler, defensive back...grad transfer portal to sacramento state...berkeley degree
sailasa "sai" vadrawale, defensive back...transfer portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
andy alfieri, fullback/linebacker...grad transfer portal to oregon state..berkeley degree
brian driscoll, offensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
brett johnson, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
jaedon roberts, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
mason mangum, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to texas a&m (track)...berkeley degree
isaiah young, defensive back...football retirement...berkeley degree
myles jernigan, linebacker...grad transfer portal to louisville...berkeley degree
ender aguilar, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to tulsa...berkeley degree
marquis montgomery, wide receiver...transfer portal to byu...no berkeley degree
martin tine, offensive lineman...transfer portal to texas state...no berkeley degree
kaylin moore, defensive back...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
tiumalu afalava, defensive lineman...transfer portal to san diego state...no berkeley degree
marquez dortch, wide receiver...transfer portal to troy...no berkeley degree
sergio allen, linebacker...football retirement...berkeley degree
leremia leremia, defensive end...football retirement (cal rugby program)...berkeley degree
tidiane jalloh, outside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree
ethan saunders, defensive end...football retirement...berkeley degree

note: kicker mateen bhaghani (ucla) not listed cuz he never had a scholly

2023 scholly roster departures: 36 bears moved on

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree...nfl drafted indianapolis colts
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity...ucla degree
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity...berkeley degree
darius long jr, defensive line...walk on final semester...berkeley degree
kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona & bethune cookman...berkeley degree
patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii & northeastern...no berkeley degree
henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...nevada degree
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement...berkeley degree
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...ucla degree...nfl drafted tennessee titans
trey paster, linebacker...grad transfer to colorado state & bethune cookman...berkeley degree
fatu iosefa, safety...portal to san mateo community college...no berkeley degree
kaleb higgins, corner back...portal to sacramento state...no berkeley degree
ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas & nevada...asu degree
ryan lange, guard...football retirement...pursuing berkeley degree
jackson brown, tackle..portal to pitt...no berkeley degree
jake muller, tight end...football retirement...berkeley degree
elijah mojarro, tight end...grad transfer to nevada & rice...berkeley degree
nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada & washington...no berkeley degree
jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
j michael sturdivant, wide receiver...portal to ucla & florida...no berkeley degree
justin richard baker, wide receiver...medical retirement...berkeley degree
tommy christakos, wide receiver...medical unretirement to asu...berkeley degree
aidan lee, wide receiver...portal to garden city cc, minot state & bluefield state...no berkeley degree
ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
chris street, running back...portal to utah tech...no berkeley degree
damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state & lamar...fresno state degree
decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville...purdue degree...carolina panthers
kai milner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree
zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree



do u got premium 91 (a berkeley, stanford of ivy league degree) in ur tank??#

New S & C coach (I forget his name) will earn whatever we are paying him if Cade Uluave is able to stay on the field all season this fall. In fact, more than that, I will memorize his name!

And if we have a stronger team, with all-around fewer injuries, I will lobby -- and even contribute -- to having his salary doubled. Possible great news for California Football coming up!

Shocky1 said:

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1. Set the Example
2. Hold Each Other Accountable https://t.co/KoAfGmQLHD

— Jason Novak (@Coachjasonnovak) June 5, 2025

3. keep this water cooked 400 degrees fahrenheit
4. can't even be in public with a michigan state hoodie on
5. zero toleration
6. any further questions u can take that up with the lawyer



braden miller made it outta lansing after all that happened (low gpa school with level 7 hypothermia for dumb azzs)#

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Strength In Motion on Spartan Beach. @MSU_Football pic.twitter.com/bycDimEk93

— Jason Novak (@Coachjasonnovak) July 19, 2023

big c, agreed that high gpa semi pro golfer cade uluave got all american upside if he can stay on the field for an entire season (that hasn't happened yet)

the MOST important hire this offseason wuz replacing the former failing strength & conditioning coach and hiring program changing s&c coach jason novak who wuz previously at james madison & michigan state

novak grew up around football (his dad wuz the houston oilers rb coach back in the day) and is both INNOVATIVE with his strength in motion concepts & holds the bears ACCOUNTABLE on a daily basis with each player assigned a pass or failing grade for the workouts based upon specific metrics with these results transparently shared within the program

the bears program has been offensively mediocre despite talent at the skill positions during the wilcox era in large part to undersized offensive lines...this summer significant workout/nutrition gains are expected & we can expect every offensive lineman in the active playing rotation this fall to weigh 315+ lbs on cal's MONSTER offensive line!!

fun fact: shocky smiled when he saw the exit for joy road while driving on I-39 north this afternoon!!

There was nothing left…
OL + 2 side busters dinner #hungrybears

Thank you @ZacharysPizza pic.twitter.com/mjKta4TzQD

— Famika Anae (@AnaeCoach) April 22, 2025

EXCLUSIVE cal's MONSTER class body weight evaluation of every scholly trench worker:

jordan spasojevic-moko, 6'5" 335 lbs (BEST o-line newcomer, needs to become more quick twitch +1 athletic!!)
sioape vatikani, 6'4" 315 lbs (vats took a lotta plays off last season, new cored out body is lean!!)
nick morrow, 6'8" 315 lbs (missed spring ball, at 6'8" needs to get to 330 lbs)
frederick williams, 6'5" 300 lbs (banged up at the end of spring ball, needs to get to 315 lbs)
braden miller, 6'6" 315 lbs (biggest surprise of spring running with 1s, needs to get to 320 lbs)
bastian swinney, 6'6" 305 lbs (got pushed backwards last season, needs to get to 320 lbs)
tyson ruffins, 6'2" 310 lbs (ran with the 1s this spring but got pushed backwards, need to get to 320 lbs)
daveion harley, 6'1" 300 lbs (just signed, needs to get to 315 lbs)
lajuan owens, 6'4" 355 lbs (physical mauler, needs to core out to 335 lbs)
leon bell, 6'8" 315 lbs (got starting talent upside, at 6'8" needs to get to 330 lbs)
lamar robinson, 6'3" 300 lbs (missed spring ball, needs to get to 315 lbs)
akili calhoun, 6'4" 300 lbs (ran with the 2s, needs to get to 315 lbs)
syris corley, 6'4" 330 lbs (needs to core out to 315 lbs)
tyler knape, 6'4" 290 lbs (needs to get to 315 lbs)
aiden newbill, 6'8" 290 lbs (at 6'8" needs to get to 330 lbs)
justin hasenhuetl, 6'5" 270 lbs (schulzie's favorite german needs to get to 315 lbs)

real talk: any bear that disappears from berkeley for more than a long weekend home between now & the start of the 2025 fall camp is sending a clear message that they just don't give a ****

report card date: during the 1st week of fall ball in early august the 2025 season roster with updated weights will be released, the monster is projecting the LARGEST offensive line playing rotation in the history of cal football!!

#AGTG I’m Home!!! #Gobears🐻 @CoachTB02 @AllenBrown_4 @Coach_Sooto @OrtegeJenkins16 @CalBears247 @CalFootball pic.twitter.com/KbtKudnZb3

— 3⭐️ ATH ERNEST NUNLEY (@rebel__ern) June 25, 2025

KAAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

WELCOME 3.25 gpa 6'1" quick twitch lockdown corner/nickel back ernest nunley from western high school in anaheim!!

#AGTG went to Detroit and Balled! @smsbacademy
Shout out @Sportsinthed_ for capturing the moment 💪🏾 pic.twitter.com/5W3HYwCnEu

— 3⭐️ ATH ERNEST NUNLEY (@rebel__ern) June 5, 2025

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including dizzyland)

collin morikawa caddie/michigan update:

collin has parted ways with caddie joe greiner after only 5 tournaments (after replacing former longtime caddie jj jakovich earlier this year) & former cal golfer/close friend kk limbhaust (a fellow gamer) will caddie for morikawa tomorrow morning...yeah there will be 3 high gpa smart as **** haas biz ad grads (morikawa, limbhaust & schulzie) walking 18 holes together at detroit golf club in search of trophies in the am

let's be real here, as for a permanent caddie solution (kk is still competing on the korn ferry tour), shocky is the ONLY legit candidate if collins wants to win all 4 majors/learn how to post up with headstand stomach crunches while earning the coveted #1 world ranking (currently at #5) with a fellow foodie/rescue doggy dog advocate (plus we can make fun of rickie's low gpa with berkeley grad allison)!!

and shockley would caddie for FREE!!

today shocky played the alistar mackenize designed university of michigan golf course (across the street from the football stadium) which needs a mackenzie faithful restoration...played with the head golf pro & tole him architect mike devries (did a fabulous on the mackenzie designed meadow club near stinson beach & a michigan grad) would be my #1 choice to shine/polish this gem back to her original beauty

we played with 2 undergrads & afterwards shocky treated them to coney island dogs & fries on campus, very interesting listening to their 1st hand stories re: how michigan football is passionately/successfully marketed/branded to not only the students but also the citizens of the state regardless of any academic affiliation with the university

worthless non innovative sales tix/marketing bureaucrat markeisha everrett is personally costing the football program literally tens of thousands of potential new fans with her inept lack of vision & lazy azz work ethic (it's easier for her to just attend out of state seminars on tarp management & tell kevin kennedy she's too busy to help with cal billboards) and abject FAILURE to offer FREE tixs to all games to berkeley students

waiting for ron and/or kevin to announce the keys to marketing the football program will be taken in house at memorial stadium in a uniquely exciting time/opportunity with multiple professional sports franchises vacating the east bay/bay area market space (and golden state warriors tixs only affordable to the 1%ers)

mad city motorhouse (**** adam schupak)#

NFL All Pros by College — Since 2000 pic.twitter.com/xj1vPafqVZ

— Deeg (@DeegSports) June 26, 2025