Oakbear said:

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Shockey, the dan ives of bear insider

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oak, haha, both dan & shockley got **** for fashion choices with their clownz outfits on the street


https://instagr.am/p/BzE7ogODP1p

https://instagr.am/p/DMvK3JWqpqq
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the beautiful people of mexico)

Best Universities in the World, 2024:

1.🇬🇧 Oxford
2.🇺🇸 Stanford
3.🇺🇸 MIT
4.🇺🇸 Harvard
5.🇬🇧 Cambridge
6.🇺🇸 Princeton
7.🇺🇸 California Institute of Technology
8.🇬🇧 Imperial College London
9.🇺🇸 Berkeley
10.🇺🇸 Yale

Times Higher Education

— World of Statistics (@stats_feed) April 29, 2024

this and some honkers in my face pic.twitter.com/fTNPoAGu0K

— CalCentel (@TheCalCentel) March 26, 2025

cal centel, plz check ur birth certificate to see if shocky is ur daddy or something, ok??

wut's ur gpa & is ur single parents moms a curvy brunette yoga female with good hygiene, a kind mischievous smile & a smoke show PONYTAIL??

it's not too late to get the will rewritten son

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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There was nothing left…
OL + 2 side busters dinner #hungrybears

Thank you @ZacharysPizza pic.twitter.com/mjKta4TzQD

— Famika Anae (@AnaeCoach) April 22, 2025

the following are player's actual and shocky's TARGETED 315+ minimum weights for each offensive line room member after 2025 spring camp:

jordan spasojevic-moko, 6'5" 335 lbs (BEST o-line newcomer, needs to become more quick twitch +1 athletic!!)
sioape vatikani, 6'4" 315 lbs (vats took a lotta plays off last season, new cored out body is lean!!)
nick morrow, 6'8" 315 lbs (missed spring ball, at 6'8" needs to get to 330 lbs)
frederick williams, 6'5" 300 lbs (banged up at the end of spring ball, needs to get to 315 lbs)
braden miller, 6'6" 315 lbs (biggest surprise of spring running with 1s, needs to get to 320 lbs)
bastian swinney, 6'6" 305 lbs (got pushed backwards last season, needs to get to 320 lbs)
tyson ruffins, 6'2" 310 lbs (ran with the 1s this spring but got pushed backwards, need to get to 320 lbs)
daveion harley, 6'1" 300 lbs (just signed, needs to get to 315 lbs)
lajuan owens, 6'4" 355 lbs (physical mauler, needs to core out to 335 lbs)
leon bell, 6'8" 315 lbs (got starting talent upside, at 6'8" needs to get to 330 lbs)
lamar robinson, 6'3" 300 lbs (missed spring ball, needs to get to 315 lbs)
akili calhoun, 6'4" 300 lbs (ran with the 2s, needs to get to 315 lbs)
syris corley, 6'4" 330 lbs (needs to core out to 315 lbs)
tyler knape, 6'4" 290 lbs (needs to get to 315 lbs)
aiden newbill, 6'8" 290 lbs (at 6'8" needs to get to 330 lbs)
justin hasenhuetl, 6'5" 270 lbs (schulzie's favorite german needs to get to 315 lbs)

---

https://instagr.am/p/DMoN2CspSU4
https://calbears.com/sports/football/roster

cal's monster offensive line fall updates (and guys still need to keep eating their broccoli & tracking their daily protein grams):

jordan: 335 lbs, no change (hopefully more quick twitch +1 athletic, got the right bad azz attitude!!)
sioape: 320 lbs, +5 lbs (body is PRIME, last chance to show out for the NFL, impose ur will brah!!)
nick: 315 lbs, no change (gotta gain more mass coming off the injury, the +1 athlete is still too lean)
frederick: 310 lbs, +10 lbs (close to the 315 lbs goal)
braden: 315 lbs, no change (needs to add a couple more lbs to be an effective starter)
bastian: 310 lbs, +5 lbs (needs to add a couple more lbs)
tyson: 310 lbs, no change (the natural leader needs to add a couple more lbs)
daveion: 305 lbs, +5 lbs (needs a MONSTER s&c fall camp in the s&c program, still too light to start)
lajuan: 335 lbs, -20 lbs (congrats on coring out & achieving the monster target weight!!)
leon: 330 lbs, +15 lbs (congrats on achieving the monster target weight!!)
lamar: 305 lbs, +5 lbs (still needs to gain more mass)
akili: 305 lbs, +5 lbs (still needs to gain more mass)
syris: 310 lbs, -20 lbs (congrats on coring out, obviously ur moms is a GREAT cook!!)
tyler: 295 lbs, +5 lbs (developmental mode, not gonna see the field)
aiden: 290 lbs, no change (developmental mode, not gonna see the field)
justin: 285 lbs, +15 lbs (gut sommerarbeit, developmental mode, not gonna see the field)

---

breakfast is the most important meal of the day!!

pic.twitter.com/baUbmLn5vj

— Tasteful Girls (@TastefulZoomers) July 31, 2025

cal's MONSTER offensive line (is NOT gonna be undersized again)#

Shocky1 said:

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𝑮𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 your new Co-Athletic Directors! 🐻#GoBears pic.twitter.com/lB0poamoB0

— Cal Athletics (@CalAthletics) July 3, 2025

cal's monster class EXCLUSIVE: meet the worthless bureaucratic ****tards

listening to these 2 unlikeable anti football/basketball agenda dumb azzs with degrees from mediocre skools talk about espn gameday being a highlight of their careers is just straight up lying & tryna rebrand themselves as advocates for football now that the con artist isn't there to protect them anymore

jay larson

*****the architect behind misappropriating money from football & men's excellence in basketball donations to other agendas without notifying donors

*****the catalyst for the zoom call self reporting violation which resulted in multiple football staffers being suspended

*****recently tried to significantly reduce the daily food stipends for football players which would have basically wiped out the nutrition program & effectively terminated the football program...larsons wuz overriden by lyons & rivera and this wuz the final straw that resulted in the chancellor fully turning the keys over to the fb gm

*****the co lobbyist for nil dollars to be split 50/50 between men's & women's sports in order to be in "compliance" with title ix despite the fact that there is no other collegiate institution that shares that interpretation

*****abysmal leadership of FAILING men's athletic programs including basketball, baseball, soccer & cross country/track & field

jennifer simon o'neil

*****enabled for years teri mckeever to engage is racist & abusive behavior that resulted in multiple women's swimmers having suicidal iterations...let's be very clear about this, jennifer simon-o'neil is evil as **** and the unfunded student athlete lawsuits has the potential to be a financial tsunami

*****the co lobbyist for nil dollars to be split 50/50 between men's & women's sports in order to be in "compliance" with title ix despite the fact that there is no other collegiate institution that shares that interpretation

*****demanded that the women's basketball budget be the same as the men's basketball program, again a practice not replicated anywhere else on planet earth

*****abysmal leadership of women's athletic programs:

women's basketball: failed to measurably increase attendance despite this past season's generational squad, facilitated the hiring of a head coach who is an introvert that cannot raise nil funds & the hiring of an unqualified marketing director in markeisha everett

women's softball: hired a mentally unstable head coach, last year's entire starting line up including the pitching staff is now out of eligibility or in the transfer portal as a result of the the crazy town bus crashing in strawberry canyon

women's soccer: like swimming former berkeley student athletes filing complaints re: coaching staff abuse/bullying
https://www.ktvu.com/news/more-athletes-describe-years-of-mistreatment-by-cal-soccer-coach

women's gymnastics: head coaches left to clemson & roster retention under attack, program in upheaval

women's volleyball: 15-17 record last season & 7-13 in acc play

women's field hockey: 7-10 record last season & 1-6 in acc play

women's lacrosse: 6-10 record last season & 0-9 in acc play

women's track & field: tied for 12th place in the acc indoor championship last season

women's cross country: 15th place in the acc tournament last season

women's sand volleyball: there's no critically needed dedicated basketball practice facility in berkeley but o'neil is spearheading a new sand volleyball facility built for the maybe 100+ fans

in a performance based organization that held its highest ranking employees accountable with specific metrics both larson & simon-o'neil would already be fired for absolute FAILING PERFORMANCES

the good news is that both will be redundantly unnecessary in 12 months from now if a basketball general manager is hired along the same lines of responsibility as ron rivera for football

getting rid of jim knowlton (which involved a negotiated "retirement" severance that involved attorneys on both sides) & cfo tom lowry (who once tole me on a zoom call that he wuz tired of the football program's financial "demands," his replacement is the very capable berkeley grad sierra achin-cryns) is clearing a path to terminate both jay & jenny

---

the actual offer letters to the 2 new co athletic directors has been sent to shocky with a carbon copy to dan mogulof from liane wong, director of the public records office who states "The financial impact of the compensation we are providing to our new Co-Athletic Directors is mitigated by the fact that we have also removed a management layer from our intercollegiate athletics program. We have no plans to hire replacements for the positions they previously held in the department, a critical efficiency gain and a source of savings."

Jay Larson and Jennifer Simon-O'Neil

Working Title: Co-Athletic Director

Annual/Monthly Salary (Paid Monthly): $342,223 ($28,518.33)
$85,556 Administrative Support Stipend (approved thru July 1, 2026)

Appointment Status: 100% Time, Exempt

Position Reports To: Rich Lyons, Chancellor

Effective Date: Wednesday, July 2, 2025

End Date: June 30, 2026 (with option to renew annually)

Shocky1 said:

---

Shocky1 said:

---

𝑮𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 your new Co-Athletic Directors! 🐻#GoBears pic.twitter.com/lB0poamoB0

— Cal Athletics (@CalAthletics) July 3, 2025

cal's monster class EXCLUSIVE: meet the worthless bureaucratic ****tards

listening to these 2 unlikeable anti football/basketball agenda dumb azzs with degrees from mediocre skools talk about espn gameday being a highlight of their careers is just straight up lying & tryna rebrand themselves as advocates for football now that the con artist isn't there to protect them anymore

jay larson

*****the architect behind misappropriating money from football & men's excellence in basketball donations to other agendas without notifying donors

*****the catalyst for the zoom call self reporting violation which resulted in multiple football staffers being suspended

*****recently tried to significantly reduce the daily food stipends for football players which would have basically wiped out the nutrition program & effectively terminated the football program...larsons wuz overriden by lyons & rivera and this wuz the final straw that resulted in the chancellor fully turning the keys over to the fb gm

*****the co lobbyist for nil dollars to be split 50/50 between men's & women's sports in order to be in "compliance" with title ix despite the fact that there is no other collegiate institution that shares that interpretation

*****abysmal leadership of FAILING men's athletic programs including basketball, baseball, soccer & cross country/track & field

jennifer simon o'neil

*****enabled for years teri mckeever to engage is racist & abusive behavior that resulted in multiple women's swimmers having suicidal iterations...let's be very clear about this, jennifer simon-o'neil is evil as **** and the unfunded student athlete lawsuits has the potential to be a financial tsunami

*****the co lobbyist for nil dollars to be split 50/50 between men's & women's sports in order to be in "compliance" with title ix despite the fact that there is no other collegiate institution that shares that interpretation

*****demanded that the women's basketball budget be the same as the men's basketball program, again a practice not replicated anywhere else on planet earth

*****abysmal leadership of women's athletic programs:

women's basketball: failed to measurably increase attendance despite this past season's generational squad, facilitated the hiring of a head coach who is an introvert that cannot raise nil funds & the hiring of an unqualified marketing director in markeisha everrett

women's softball: hired a mentally unstable head coach, last year's entire starting line up including the pitching staff is now out of eligibility or in the transfer portal as a result of the the crazy town bus crashing in strawberry canyon

women's soccer: like swimming former berkeley student athletes filing complaints re: coaching staff abuse/bullying
https://www.ktvu.com/news/more-athletes-describe-years-of-mistreatment-by-cal-soccer-coach

women's gymnastics: head coaches left to clemson & roster retention under attack, program in upheaval

women's volleyball: 15-17 record last season & 7-13 in acc play

women's field hockey: 7-10 record last season & 1-6 in acc play

women's lacrosse: 6-10 record last season & 0-9 in acc play

women's track & field: tied for 12th place in the acc indoor championship last season

women's cross country: 15th place in the acc tournament last season

women's sand volleyball: there's no critically needed dedicated basketball practice facility in berkeley but o'neil is spearheading a new sand volleyball facility built for the maybe 100+ fans

in a performance based organization that held its highest ranking employees accountable with specific metrics both larson & simon-o'neil would already be fired for absolute FAILING PERFORMANCES

the good news is that both will be redundantly unnecessary in 12 months from now if a basketball general manager is hired along the same lines of responsibility as ron rivera for football

getting rid of jim knowlton (which involved a negotiated "retirement" severance that involved attorneys on both sides) & cfo tom lowry (who once tole me on a zoom call that he wuz tired of the football program's financial "demands," his replacement is the very capable berkeley grad sierra achin-cryns) is clearing a path to terminate both jay & jenny

---

the actual offer letters to the 2 new co athletic directors has been sent to shocky with a carbon copy to dan mogulof from liane wong, director of the public records office who states "The financial impact of the compensation we are providing to our new Co-Athletic Directors is mitigated by the fact that we have also removed a management layer from our intercollegiate athletics program. We have no plans to hire replacements for the positions they previously held in the department, a critical efficiency gain and a source of savings."

Jay Larson and Jennifer Simon-O'Neil

Working Title: Co-Athletic Director

Annual/Monthly Salary (Paid Monthly): $342,223 ($28,518.33)
$85,556 Administrative Support Stipend (approved thru July 1, 2026)

Appointment Status: 100% Time, Exempt

Position Reports To: Rich Lyons, Chancellor

Effective Date: Wednesday, July 2, 2025

End Date: June 30, 2026 (with option to renew annually)

---

Any additional money given to them is a waste.

The bigger financial question is "What was the "retirement" package given to Knowlton?" He had a guaranteed $1.3 million a year contract (through 2029?). I doubt he walked away from that without negotiating something almost as ridiculous from us first.

^ shocky is getting details re: knowlton's "retirement" severance package next week

And??? Not one of my students has ever won a major. At some point you have to start putting the blame on the kids. pic.twitter.com/dECMJ134Hp

— Club Pro Guy (@ClubProGuy) July 31, 2025

2025 wyndham championship in north carolina: 2nd round update (weather suspension)

michael kim (68, tied for 22nd): michael got the good fortune of finishing his 2nd round before the weather delay & is playing fantastic golf right now except for the 2 scoreable par 5s today which he played like a 15 handicap today around the greens with a squirrely chip & bunker shot...there are 10 people on planet earth who roll the rock on the greens as well as mr kim!!...wut's for dinner tonite, michael??

I save certain restaurants on my Google maps when it’s memorable. Usually when it’s really good and I want to come back next yr.
Apparently this restaurant was memorable for all the bad reasons lol pic.twitter.com/30wrMffmyI

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) July 29, 2025

max homa (+3 thru 13 holes today, tied for 93rd): max hit a perfect drive on the opening tee box & into a nasty as **** deep semi unfilled divot on the par 4 1st hole which resulted in him coming in steep on his 2nd shot which resulted in homa nuking a pitching wedge 25 yards over the green, game over...best wishes for max & lacey who are expecting their 2nd child in scottsdale this upcoming monday

byeong hun an (+1 thru 12 holes today, tied for 93rd): ben is probably gonna miss the cut which means he will fall outta the top 70 & will be spending next week back at his lake nona home in orlando and not in memphis for the 1st round of the fed ex playoffs...next tournament could be potentially silverado in september

2025 korn ferry tournament at ogden golf & country club: 2nd round update

kk limbhaust: (68, tied for 117th, missed cut): solid round today with an eagle but missing 18 fairways over 2 rounds & being 133rd in the field in driving distance is a deadly combination

123rd western amateur championship at skokie country club:

future superstar zinqin zhou (his moms "lisa" shared her tasty pork dumplings with shocky while we rooted/willed her son to a fantastic 67 at the ncca championships at la costa in may) shot 71 & 70 and incoming freshman xihuan chang shot 77 & 74 in the northern chicago suburbs in not qualifying for this weekend's match play

collin morikawa caddie update: will collin decide on his wife kat or shocky as a FREE caddie option or will kk decide to loop again for his best friend in memphis??...fyi, elvis is dead & not a viable option nor is jj jakovac double bagging for morikawa & the stanford guy

silverado pga tournament september 11th-14th:

hope bears fans will turn out alongside shocky in napa for this fall tournament that generates millions of dollars for local charities...don't tell nobody but the world's #1 ranked player scottie scheffler is gonna commit to the tournament & this is likely gonna turn into an american ryder cup team bonding final warm up/camp bonding experience which means collin morikawa could be in the field again too!!...and logistically it all works as the cal vs minnesota football game at memorial stadium on saturday september 13th gotta 7:30 pm kick off which allows plenty of time for a quick dinner in wine country before heading over to berkeley for the big 10 showdown!!

shocky's mentoring of the bears pga pro golfers:

look coaching can sometimes be a kinda tricky biz but it's absolutely ******* mind boggling that no professional golfer hasn't already hired shocky yet as their caddie/swing coach (probably need to check my email inbox or something)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DJxPAmiutAq

Shocky1 said:

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^ shocky is getting details re: knowlton's "retirement" severance package next week

---

Shockster doing the work for the people.

Go Bears Forever

https://instagr.am/p/DMqPAYoBE0Y
goldy & bear force one, there's some really head scratching **** decision making going on in berkeley rite now that is confusing to the monster

-coach wilcox says the only position group he's confident about with proven players is probably the defensive line & that there's major question marks in every position group room...every preseason fall snap is gonna matter for player development & evaluating talent for the 2 deep yet justin got 113 players on the roster which means that valuable reps are being given to 4th & 5th string guys that will NEVER play a single down of college football...a bloated roster (which also comes with significant financial costs) may be ok for sec & big 10 programs but that's NOT the right move for a perennial wilcox coached .500 team in the acc that needs to WIN BIG NOW!!

-general manager ron rivera says we're at the "precipice" right now & that the 3 key factors for cal football's future in conference realignments are "butts in the seats (gameday attendance), eyeballs on television and wins and losses"...yet ron is not getting involved with rich to ensure that ALL berkeley students inclusively get FREE tickets for all cal football (and men's basketball) games this fall when there's gonna be 40,000+ empty/unoccupied seats for the bears season opener at memorial stadium on september 6th vs texas southern...rivera is apparently outta touch with the fact that a majority of berkeley students (many with massive student loan debt that can't afford the $125 season pass that is being only paid for by those from affluent families) these days never went to high school football games growing up in foreign countries or in the states while wracking up 4.5 gpas to gain admission to berkeley...and yeah leaving any marketing/branding/tix selling decisions to the unqualified & lazy azz markeisha everett is just a dumb decision in trusting a worthless bureaucrat who can't even oversee the delivery of electronic season tixs for this fall

-chancellor lyons makes the right move buying out knowlton but then appoints as co-athletic directors the known to him ****tards jay larson & jennifer simon-o'neil who are continuing to carry out their anti football agenda by allocating only $14,000,000 of the nil dollars to football at a time when the bears peer schools are allocating $15,000,000+ by their athletic directors...and not even all of that $14,000,000 is gonna be spent during this critical football season while the ****tards give nil dollars to the berkeley quidditch team, u cannot make this **** up

Cal football GM Ron Rivera just spoke to reporters as training camp gets underway. He said the Bears’ football program will use “roughly $14 million” of the $20.5 million revenue sharing pool.

Not all of it will be used this year, however. @CalBearsOn3

— Matt Moreno (@MattRMoreno) July 31, 2025

yeah there are some really dumb azz decisions being made that could leave cal football in a **** position in a time when there's honestly really no more leeway with ******* up

no cap

bear force one, appreciate ur well intended efforts to suggest discounted tixs but the correct pricing level for berkeley students that have never been to a football game because they grew up in a foreign country or were too busy wracking up 4.5 gpas at american high schools in their quests to gain admission to the #1 ranked public university in the world is FREE tixs

the value proposition for the university flips/occurs when these once poor as **** students (many with crushing financial debt from student loans and/or are 1st generation college students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds) enter they real world with berkeley degrees & build GENERATIONAL WEALTH

then many of these cal football imprinted grads will buy season tixs and/or donate to the university cuz they got school spirit (and their relationship with the university isn't merely transactional) as they return to their alma mater on fall gamedays

https://instagr.am/p/DC9uWbqS1sv
yeah FREE tixs are an investment in the future & also create a hostile crowd energy home field advantage at memorial stadium on gameday and that's gonna be really ******* obvious when there's 40,000+ empty seats for the bears home opener vs texas southern on saturday september 6th

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DGeSq2LSjmE
1st generation college grad (just like my then poor as **** berkeley grad moms), congrats!!

vals (and her ponytail) graduated in 3 years (which is around a decade quicker than +1 athletic wr mason starling)#

---

Thank you, Cal 💛

Over the past two and a half years, I’ve given my heart and soul both day and night to try and help the incredible people in this program in any way I could. And man, what an honor it’s been.

Waking up every day and getting to work with so many amazing people… pic.twitter.com/CefZ9Hz7xl

— Max Wood (@Maxwood88) August 1, 2025

NOW is the time to promote the wildly creative (particularly her FUN player interaction videos that reveal their personalities) berkeley grad valerie grimaldo to the director of all creatives services for the cal football program!!

After missing the cut and falling short of the #FedExCup Playoffs, @MaxHoma still made time for some fans who waited in the rain @WyndhamChamp. pic.twitter.com/eAojcWkAGl

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) August 2, 2025

2025 wyndham championship in north carolina: 3rd round update

michael kim (69, tied for 21st): after short game misfires on the 14th thru 16th holes (4 over par stretch) michael bounced back with an eagle 2 holeout from 123 yards in the fairway on the dogleg right uphill par 4 17th hole, KABBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!

good pairing tomorrow morning with hideki in twosomes, let's ******* go michael!!

fun fact: michael is now ranked #60 in the world & by advancing into next week's fed ex playoffs gotta legit opportunity to earn $10,000,000+ this season on the pga tour

A helluva player and a legend on X.

Come play a hole with @Mike_kim714. pic.twitter.com/KZEwuR58Tt

— Skratch (@Skratch) July 2, 2025

byeong hun an (72, missed cut): ben is now ranked #55 in the world & has earned $5,000,000+ the last 12 months including his dp tour victory in his hometown seoul, now is a well deserved 6 week vacay with the fam at his lake nona home in orlando & hopefully will return back to the bay in mid september for the silverado tournament in wine country!!

fun fact: there are some similarities in the body construction and ball trajectories of ben and sophomore zinqin zhou whose ripping low flighted 2 irons off the tee & from the fairways at la costa in may wuz a beautiful thing to behold (kinda like his moms tasty pork dumplings she shared with me as we followed her son)

No range signs were harmed in the making of this video.

🎥: @ByeongHunAn hitting stingers with his NEW U·505 1-iron. pic.twitter.com/sn9UA1qLd1

— Titleist (@Titleist) July 9, 2025

max homa (75, missed cut): best wishes to max & lacey for a healthy baby this monday back in scottsdale!!

A's & Raider Fans You Still Have a Home.

See Our Billboards @ The Coliseum & OAK Airport Starting 8/4/25.#GoBears pic.twitter.com/aBPUhoxYCL

— California Legends (@ca_legends_) August 2, 2025

hopefully the co athletic director ****tards jay & jenny with their anti football agendas will be leaving berkeley next july 1st to lands further afar!!

it's absolutely mind boggling & marketing/branding incompetence/malpractice that the cal athletic department has not made any gameday attendance inroad gains with the departure of multiple bay area professional sports teams from the marketspace...the sold out frenzied miami espn gameday proves there is passion for cal football & marketplace demand, does accountability matter in berkeley??

FIRE the ****tards, rich (let's ******* go)!!#

california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused cuz he got worser seats):

doechii, why don't you introduce the yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2026 class:

mason lewis, defensive back (3.7 gpa)
ernest nunley, corner/nickel (3.25 gpa)
rocky cummings, linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tyree "reekus" sams, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
kamo'i huihui-white, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
nainoa lopes, quarterback (3.57 gpa)
kingston "lucky" schirmer, defensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
esaiah wong, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
luca georg wolf, tight end (motivated student from austria)
frank fauna jr, defensive lineman (4.0 gpa)
emmanuel "ej" morgan, wide receiver/kick returner (4.3 gpa)
brady palmer, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
taimane purcell, tight end (3.9 gpa)
nemyah telona, defensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
victor santino, running back (3.0+ gpa)
elisha faamatuainu, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
jaxon pyatt, linebacker (3.4 gpa)
camron brooks, edge defender (3.0+ gpa)
artem korchagin, offensive lineman (4.1 gpa)
jonathan mckinley, linebacker (4.83 gpa)
deon jackson, corner/nickel (3.0+ gpa)
jaydn crowder, corner/nickel (3.4 gpa)

2025 class (all former walk ons are now on schollys, CONGRATS!!):

jordan king, wide receiver (4.38 gpa)
alonzo esparza, quarterback (4.0 gpa)
belay brummell, quarterback (3.95 gpa)
carson perry-smith, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
jayden parker, running back (4.16 gpa)
isaac torres, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
mayze bryant, defensive back (3.5 gpa)
jordan franke, longsnapper (3.81 gpa)
dean taylor-chapman, running back (4.0 gpa)
tobey weydemuller, defensive back (3.92 gpa)
jude mclellan, outside linebacker (3.9 gpa)
nate escalada, defensive back (4.23 gpa)
michael cooley, outside linebacker (3.0 gpa)
ewan arechaederra, longsnapper (3.6 gpa)
lucas vanderlind, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
bj jones, inside linebacker (3.55 gpa)
sam bjerke, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
cole bosica, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
myles reber, wide receiver (3.75 gpa)
jeffrey johnson, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jack olyphant, tight end (3.72 gpa)
rj stephens, defensive lineman (3.77 gpa)
michael kern, punter (3.4 gpa)
landon morris, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jayden dixon-veal, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
lj johnson, running back (3.7 gpa)
abram murray, kicker (4.0 gpa)
brent "paco" wilson corner/nickel (3.3 gpa)
jordan sanford, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
harrison taggart, linebacker (3.9 gpa)
chase meyer, kicker (4.3 gpa)
mark hamper, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
zae smith, defensive tackle (3.37 gpa)
daveion harley, offensive lineman (3.36 gpa)
kendrick raphael, running back (3.8 gpa)
quimari shemwell, corner/nickel back (3.0+ gpa)
brandon high jr, running back (3.3 gpa)
rino monteforte, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
tj bush, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
quaron adams, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
chris victor, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
jojo genova, offensive lineman (3.5 gpa)
erik peters, kicker (3.9 gpa)
devin brown, quarterback (4.4 gpa)
dazmin james, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
justin hasenhuetl, interior offensive lineman (3.75 gpa)
jacob de jesus, wide receiver/kick returner (3.67 gpa)
caleb johnston, longsnapper (3.5 gpa)
simon mapa, tight end (3.47 gpa)
mason mini, tight end (3.8 gpa)
john gayer, edge defender (2.8 gpa)
jordon moko, offensive line (3.8 gpa)
jayden wayne, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
brook honoree jr, punter (3.8 gpa)
dominic ingrassia, quarterback (3.2 gpa)
jaron keawe sagapolutele, quarterback (3.75 gpa)
buom jock, inside linebacker (3.1 gpa)
leon bell, offensive tackle (3.1 gpa)
tristan dunn, safety (3.0 gpa)
lamar robinson, offensive guard (3.5 gpa)
tyson ruffins, interior offensive lineman (3.8 gpa)
lajuan owens, left tackle (3.2 gpa)
hezekiah masses, corner/nickel (2.7 gpa)
kyle cunanan, kicker (3.73 gpa)
tyson ford, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
odera okaka, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
john tofi jr, edge defender (3.8 gpa)
aiden manutai, safety (4.0 gpa)
tre' harrison, safety (4.83 gpa)
mike klisiewicz, offensive lineman (3.7 gpa)
jacob houseworth, tight end (3.25 gpa)
jae'on young, corner/nickel back (3.4 gpa)
lebron williams, defensive end (3.2 gpa)
beckham barney, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
anthony league, running back (3.9 gpa)
ikechukwu okafor, edge defender (3.7 gpa)
ben howard, offensive guard (3.2 gpa)
meyer swinney, hybrid wide receiver/tight end (3.75 gpa)
kaden cook, cornerback (3.4 gpa)

2024 class:

will mcdonald, left guard (3.5 gpa)
checkhsaliou fall, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
cj harris, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
serigne tounkara, edge defender (3.88 gpa)
kyion graves, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
ryan yaites, safety (3.2 gpa)
jasiah wagoner, corner/nickel back (3.25 gpa)
tj bollers, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
corey dyches, hybrid tight end/wide receiver (3.1 gpa)
braden miller, offensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
liam johnson, inside linebacker (3.36 gpa at princeton)
khamani hudson, cornerback (3.5 gpa)
bobby engstler, punter/kicker (3.72 gpa)
jonathan "gameday" brady, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
mikey miller, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
victor stoffel, offensive tackle (motivated student in sweden)
kadarius calloway, running back (2.7 gpa)
ryan coe, kicker (3.5 gpa)
tobias merriweather, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ja'ir smith, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
syris corley, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
rush reimer, offensive lineman (3.3 gpa)
marcus harris, defensive back (3.2 gpa)
aidan ikaika keanaaina, defensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
aiden newbill, offensive line (3.72 gpa)
isaiah crosby, safety (3.0+ gpa)
luke ferrelli, inside linebacker (4.0 gpa)
chandler rogers, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
teddye buchanan, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
josiah martin, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
jack endries, tight end (3.83 gpa)
trond grizzell, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu, defensive back (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (3.0+ gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (2.9 gpa)
camden jones, tight end (2.8 gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquis montgomery, wide receiver (3.4 gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (2.9 gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)
david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (2.8 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
jaivian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, offensive line (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.85 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class...don't forget to take the chicken out

https://instagr.am/p/DAb8NtkBYtv

Shocks - I know that Miami was making a run at Nemyah Telona and had offered him. Any new news/rumors on that front?

bear force one, the dumb azzs jay, jenny & markeisha (none of whom are berkeley grads) are not offering FREE tixs because of a flawed focus group survey of undergraduate haas biz ad school students telling them that consumers don't value things that don't cost anything

keep in mind that undergraduate biz majors like shocky & rich lyons are predominantly white/asian from much higher socioeconomic backgrounds than the typical berkeley student...we didn't spend a ******* dollah of our own money for the student pass, someone in the lyons & schulzie families wrote a check for our gameday attendance at memorial stadium & harmon gym back in the day

but because of my 1st generation berkeley graduate tigers moms who grew up poor as **** over a laundry in san francisco shocky has always been empathetic of poor kids which wuz a major factor in the monster getting kicked outta a fraternity during the fall of his freshman year in berkeley unlike rich who thrived as an sae



markeisha did NOT consult ron rivera on this year's decision to not offer FREE tixs per my emails with beth tafolla-voetch...the gameplan at this point should be for ron 1st thing monday morning to check on the abysmal seats sold/attendance projections for the season opener vs texas southern & then monday afternoon briefly visit with chancellor lyons & then issue a joint proclamation that ALL berkeley students are inclusively invited to celebrate the magic of cal football with their classmates for FREE for the season opener on saturday september 6th!!

yeah memorial stadium should be one big ******* party for everybody with high gpas & then shocky will lead everybody in stormin' the field past the yellow jacketed security if we somehow tame the tigers & we can all do headstands at midfield together or something with our jubilant bears/their proud bearents/the football staff, got it??



let's ******* go, señor ron, VAMOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/Caz7grslHxX
look grrrrah, shocky is still kinda mad that his daughter shay picked denver law school over her dad's #1 choice miami law school 3 years ago, ok??

but all american nemyah telona from delasalle has NOT flipped to miami at this time for the following reasons:

homebody: nemyah is a low key family guy, his family can drive 30 minutes to memorial stadium on gamedays & celebrate their son's collegiate experience with him including moms hugs after the games (along with her tasty specially cooked to go tupperware meal preps for the week)....miami is ******* 3000 miles away on gamedays & is actually a dangerous city with the drug trafficking which is a security issue for mom & dad (scarface snorting lines in the bathroom with a glock on his hip is not a myth)...the uber wealthy jet setters living in mansions on fishers & indian creek islands in armed security gated communities are safe from the violence, everybody else not so much

We Stayin HOME Baby 😎
LETS WORK🤞🏽 #GOBEARS🐻 @browning_coach @Coach_Sooto @PAEA_90 @BenjiPalu_Cal @CalFootball @BrandonHuffman @dlsathletics @dlsfootball17 pic.twitter.com/GtkZJGjncS

— Nemyah Telona - 3⭐️⭐️⭐️ (@NemyahTelona59) June 2, 2025

playing time: coach wilcox stated this week that the only position group with proven experienced starters is the defensive line room & that's because poly ballers/future berkeley grads aidan keanaaina and stanley mackenzie are seniors, telona gotta legit opportunity to compete for a starting job in the fall of 2026!!

player development: poly assistant defensive line coach with nfl credentials stephen paea is the real deal when working in tandem with coach browning

https://instagr.am/p/DL6SB1rx6Y9
the hurricanes on the other hand already gotta stacked room of young 5 star talent at nose guard & defensive tackle, the road to getting PAID in the national football league is not thru sitting on the bench in coral gables thousands of miles away from those that love u
https://www.ourlads.com/ncaa-football-depth-charts/depth-chart/miami/91073

academics: berkeley is the #1 ranked public university in the world with thousands of grads in the bay area that can open doors for nemyah during life after football...miami's disposable football gladiators are parking shocky's rental suv at mila after his afternoon walking 18 holes round at seminole (but the good news is that the monster tips well)

poly culture: the bears poly staff/culture including rising s&c coach brenden hisao that embraces EVERYBODY is huge for guys like telona!!

https://t.co/0pZS0wodV2 pic.twitter.com/FV6Oi2sXd9

— Ryan Fritzberg (@Ryan_TheMayor23) June 4, 2025

weather: miami during the summer is kinda like hades, there's a reason the hurricanes deceptively don't wanna nemyah to take an official visit until the south beach winter in biscayne bay (where the cuban gentlemen sleep all day because it's muy caliente ahora)

christoball's reputation: it is well known that the slick miami head coach is full of **** & tells recruits exactly wut he thinks they wanna hear kinda like a caca used car salesman in little havana...patrick at the krusty krab gotta better reputation for telling the truth than mario

https://instagr.am/p/DKrp8JbOXrw

Shocky1 said:

---

A's & Raider Fans You Still Have a Home.

See Our Billboards @ The Coliseum & OAK Airport Starting 8/4/25.#GoBears pic.twitter.com/aBPUhoxYCL

— California Legends (@ca_legends_) August 2, 2025

hopefully the co athletic director ****tards jay & jenny with their anti football agendas will be leaving berkeley next july 1st to lands further afar!!

it's absolutely mind boggling & marketing/branding incompetence/malpractice that the cal athletic department has not made any gameday attendance inroad gains with the departure of multiple bay area professional sports teams from the marketspace...the sold out frenzied miami espn gameday proves there is passion for cal football & marketplace demand, does accountability matter in berkeley??

FIRE the ****tards, rich (let's ******* go)!!#

---

Do you know that this marketing slogan was my idea?

Go Bears Forever

Take a listen as Wisconsin transfer WR Mark Hamper discusses his transition to Cal and what stands out to him about OC Bryan Harsin’s offense. #GoBears pic.twitter.com/8t9diBop66

— Westley Hart (@wheatley_97_wi) July 31, 2025

mark hamper=starting wr1 candidate that will physically BLOCK in the run game!!#

pic.twitter.com/rSbA9pbnMC

— Calico Cut Pants (@calicocutpant) April 12, 2024

2025 wyndham championship in north carolina: 4th round update

michael kim (76, tied for 62nd): missed fairways off the tee early in the round & then a couple of fluffed flop shots on the par 4 17th hole & a putter taking a wyndham resort vacay day in a birdie free round

Tough day but enjoyed watching you live today! pic.twitter.com/nClVZ6js6k

— Chan (@_chandlersmith_) August 3, 2025

the good news is that michael played better than cade uluave on his best day

whatever

golf is really hard (on to memphis!!)#

It's someone's birthday today! pic.twitter.com/S38eXkcSBI

— oskifan (@OskiHoya3) August 3, 2025

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island=#1 ranked public university in the world (if ur willing to do the hard work both on & off the field)

https://instagr.am/p/DMiunLWNkvu
2025 english boy's amateur championship (the carris trophy):

KABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2026 cal commit calixte alzas from west of paris shot unreal rounds of 70, 67, 69 and an ice in his veins final round 65 to win the championship & continue his world class play this summer in europe!!

make no mistake about it coach michael wilson & coach peter ireland are building a potential ncca championship team at the #1 ranked public university in the world, just need more bears tracking their daily protein grams & building the necessary strength to compete on golf's largest stages

https://instagr.am/p/C43J5i3Ne9w
perhaps someday shocky will tee it up with calixte at the best course in continental europe (and it's not even close) at golf de morfontaine (which got water dishes on several tee boxes for doggy dogs!!) which is magnifque & which when coupled with fashion week is probably more fun than tryna kill ginormous insects in norman oklahoma or something

https://instagr.am/p/B9SOe4njett

Cal fans rush the field after the Bears capture a 24-21 victory in the 127th edition of the Big Game. pic.twitter.com/IVB78o6oX5

— Daily Cal Sports (@dailycalsports) November 24, 2024

make no mistake about it, there is legit PASSION for the cal football program particularly with berkeley students that got the financial means (affluent parents) for gameday tixs but the growth of the fanbase is being severely limited by indifferent, incompetent & non innovative marketing/branding/tix sales by the cal athletic department

yeah if ron & rich announce that ALL berkeley students will be admitted for FREE to the bears season opener on saturday september 6th then shocky will inclusively lead everybody at memorial stadium in STORMING THE FIELD against the tigers!!...real talk: celebrations in life should never be limited by dumb azz artificial constraints, rescue doggy dogs got this figured out!!

This is Mariner. He was born completely deaf, which means he gets to enjoy fireworks with all the sparkle and none of the boom. 13/10 pic.twitter.com/gmJkCoMYLh

— WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) July 1, 2025

chancellor lyons, is 40,000+ empty/unoccupied seats acceptable to you (jay, jenny & markeisha could give 2 ***** if that happens) for the 2025 season opener??...where are the next generation of the Builders of Berkeley donors gonna come from in an era of significantly reduced state & federal funding??

this is bigger than just a ******* football game#

Shocky1 said:

---

Shocky1 said:

---

𝑮𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 your new Co-Athletic Directors! 🐻#GoBears pic.twitter.com/lB0poamoB0

— Cal Athletics (@CalAthletics) July 3, 2025

cal's monster class EXCLUSIVE: meet the worthless bureaucratic ****tards

listening to these 2 unlikeable anti football/basketball agenda dumb azzs with degrees from mediocre skools talk about espn gameday being a highlight of their careers is just straight up lying & tryna rebrand themselves as advocates for football now that the con artist isn't there to protect them anymore

jay larson

*****the architect behind misappropriating money from football & men's excellence in basketball donations to other agendas without notifying donors

*****the catalyst for the zoom call self reporting violation which resulted in multiple football staffers being suspended

*****recently tried to significantly reduce the daily food stipends for football players which would have basically wiped out the nutrition program & effectively terminated the football program...larsons wuz overriden by lyons & rivera and this wuz the final straw that resulted in the chancellor fully turning the keys over to the fb gm

*****the co lobbyist for nil dollars to be split 50/50 between men's & women's sports in order to be in "compliance" with title ix despite the fact that there is no other collegiate institution that shares that interpretation

*****abysmal leadership of FAILING men's athletic programs including basketball, baseball, soccer & cross country/track & field

jennifer simon o'neil

*****enabled for years teri mckeever to engage is racist & abusive behavior that resulted in multiple women's swimmers having suicidal iterations...let's be very clear about this, jennifer simon-o'neil is evil as **** and the unfunded student athlete lawsuits has the potential to be a financial tsunami

*****the co lobbyist for nil dollars to be split 50/50 between men's & women's sports in order to be in "compliance" with title ix despite the fact that there is no other collegiate institution that shares that interpretation

*****demanded that the women's basketball budget be the same as the men's basketball program, again a practice not replicated anywhere else on planet earth

*****abysmal leadership of women's athletic programs:

women's basketball: failed to measurably increase attendance despite this past season's generational squad, facilitated the hiring of a head coach who is an introvert that cannot raise nil funds & the hiring of an unqualified marketing director in markeisha everett

women's softball: hired a mentally unstable head coach, last year's entire starting line up including the pitching staff is now out of eligibility or in the transfer portal as a result of the the crazy town bus crashing in strawberry canyon

women's soccer: like swimming former berkeley student athletes filing complaints re: coaching staff abuse/bullying
https://www.ktvu.com/news/more-athletes-describe-years-of-mistreatment-by-cal-soccer-coach

women's gymnastics: head coaches left to clemson & roster retention under attack, program in upheaval

women's volleyball: 15-17 record last season & 7-13 in acc play

women's field hockey: 7-10 record last season & 1-6 in acc play

women's lacrosse: 6-10 record last season & 0-9 in acc play

women's track & field: tied for 12th place in the acc indoor championship last season

women's cross country: 15th place in the acc tournament last season

women's sand volleyball: there's no critically needed dedicated basketball practice facility in berkeley but o'neil is spearheading a new sand volleyball facility built for the maybe 100+ fans

in a performance based organization that held its highest ranking employees accountable with specific metrics both larson & simon-o'neil would already be fired for absolute FAILING PERFORMANCES

the good news is that both will be redundantly unnecessary in 12 months from now if a basketball general manager is hired along the same lines of responsibility as ron rivera for football

getting rid of jim knowlton (which involved a negotiated "retirement" severance that involved attorneys on both sides) & cfo tom lowry (who once tole me on a zoom call that he wuz tired of the football program's financial "demands," his replacement is the very capable berkeley grad sierra achin-cryns) is clearing a path to terminate both jay & jenny

---

the actual offer letters to the 2 new co athletic directors has been sent to shocky with a carbon copy to dan mogulof from liane wong, director of the public records office who states "The financial impact of the compensation we are providing to our new Co-Athletic Directors is mitigated by the fact that we have also removed a management layer from our intercollegiate athletics program. We have no plans to hire replacements for the positions they previously held in the department, a critical efficiency gain and a source of savings."

Jay Larson and Jennifer Simon-O'Neil

Working Title: Co-Athletic Director

Annual/Monthly Salary (Paid Monthly): $342,223 ($28,518.33)
$85,556 Administrative Support Stipend (approved thru July 1, 2026)

Appointment Status: 100% Time, Exempt

Position Reports To: Rich Lyons, Chancellor

Effective Date: Wednesday, July 2, 2025

End Date: June 30, 2026 (with option to renew annually)

---

^ important note: liane wong has confirmed that the $85,556 Administrative Support Stipend is paid DIRECTLY to the co athletic directors (it's not for administrative support personnel)

chancellor lyons gets props for buying out knowlton but his negotiations and salaries to the co-****tards is honestly beyond breaking bad in a mind boggling decision to hire them at all when there's absolutely no other university on planet earth that would hire them (they are not employable with about as market value as michael vick as the director of an animal rescue facility)

Worldwide Aspirations 🌎#SmartAndTough #GoBears pic.twitter.com/KeB5159pdg

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) August 4, 2025

https://instagr.am/p/DM1Bsz3gSrB

I plan to cover much of the Oakland, Alameda, San Leandro and Hayward area. Could use help with other areas in the bay. https://t.co/tMhpvY6aDi

— Tyler Tomei (@TomeiTyler) August 5, 2025

it started with a kiss, how did it end up like this (is this ^ poster gonna be on this bar's wall)??

At Tap Haus.

Nothing to be said but Go fucking bears pic.twitter.com/hF3wXznOOk

— Matt H (@korealaska) May 4, 2024