cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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2025 dp championship in dubai: 2nd round update

michael kim (76, tied for 21st): on the par 4 1st hole michael smashed a low draw that carried 295 yards in the air that just barely failed to carry the left center fairway bunker, the ball wuz buried in the face of the deep bunker which necessitated a 5 yard blast out...and then the **** went sideways from there, that's ******* golf sometimes, let's ******* go michael (after a good night's sleep)

2026 cal men's golf recruiting update:

https://instagr.am/p/DQ-AGpoEgLZ
https://instagr.am/p/DRBKFLXj7vR
dang but in addition to future euro ryder cupper parisian callixte alzas the staff has inexplicably signed 2 4.0 gpa kids from cali with ZERO golfing achievements at this time, hopefully they both bring chips on their shoulders/a relentless passion to improve/develop because honestly neither of them is probably even a d2 level recruit at this time



woof, woof, woof, i cry (somebody is crabby today, sigh)#
Shocky1
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jennifer simon-o'neil aka "cal fanatic"has surfaced on this board & is verbally attacking shocky and vice versa
https://bearinsider.com/forums/5/topics/130712

jenny is right, people are entitled to make mistakes but wut the non berkeley grad don't understand is that she's got a track record of NOT LEARNING from those mistakes

in the darkest era of cal athletics she enabled mckeever to mentally/physically abuse the suicidal women's swimmers but then she continues to let the women's soccer coach abuse his players & most recently let a crazy as **** softball coach she hired try to bully her players/staff which resulted in the program blowing up

****tards like jennifer simon-o'neil should NOT be paid just south of $500,000 and allowed to be in positions of authority to abuse/fail to protect our high gpa true student athletes that are seeking positive experiences at the greatest public university in the world

chancellor lyons, r u listening or r u gonna just close ur eyes & gaze out the window at ur office at the beautiful view of the campanile??

rich, the berkeley community is waiting for you to do the right thing brah


82gradDLSdad
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Shocky1 said:


2025 dp championship in dubai: 2nd round update

michael kim (76, tied for 21st): on the par 4 1st hole michael smashed a low draw that carried 295 yards in the air that just barely failed to carry the left center fairway bunker, the ball wuz buried in the face of the deep bunker which necessitated a 5 yard blast out...and then the **** went sideways from there, that's ******* golf sometimes, let's ******* go michael (after a good night's sleep)

2026 cal men's golf recruiting update:

https://instagr.am/p/DQ-AGpoEgLZ
https://instagr.am/p/DRBKFLXj7vR
dang but in addition to future euro ryder couper parisian callixte alzas the staff has inexplicably signed 2 4.0 gpa kids from cali with ZERO golfing achievements at this time, hopefully they both bring chips on their shoulders/a relentless passion to improve/develop because honestly neither of them is probably even a d2 level recruit at this time



woof, woof, woof, i cry (somebody is crabby today, sigh)#


Isn't Noah the kid from DLS?
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DIIFyaoJCUl
yep, shocky is a trillion more times excited about the upside of 2026 cal commit spartans d-tackle poly warrior nemyah telona who got a legit opportunity for early rotation playing time next fall (with his loving parents & siblings making the short drive to memorial stadium on gamedays) with the heavy departure losses on the bears d-line after this season

BearCam
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Shocky1 said:

cam, r u a lead detective at scotland yard accustomed to tracking the smallest of details??

that's some serious sleuthing brah!!...ur rite the board kinda looks like a 0-34 azz kicking or something!!

fyi, nico chaisin is a 2400 elo player & an international masters champion, she plays outta the marshall chess club on 10th street in nyc

part of our branding strategy with jb is to market him as an intellectual (basically a +2 athletic version of shocky)




Nico is closing in on becoming a GM. I'm not a sleuth just a chess player.
82gradDLSdad
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BearCam said:

Shocky1 said:

cam, r u a lead detective at scotland yard accustomed to tracking the smallest of details??

that's some serious sleuthing brah!!...ur rite the board kinda looks like a 0-34 azz kicking or something!!

fyi, nico chaisin is a 2400 elo player & an international masters champion, she plays outta the marshall chess club on 10th street in nyc

part of our branding strategy with jb is to market him as an intellectual (basically a +2 athletic version of shocky)




Nico is closing in on becoming a GM. I'm not a sleuth just a chess player.


Yah, that board was a gimme. I played a bit as a kid but after learning a bunch of openings I just didn't have the brain power to see the moves in the middle and end games.
Jeff82
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Shocky1 said:


2025 dp championship in dubai: 2nd round update

michael kim (76, tied for 21st): on the par 4 1st hole michael smashed a low draw that carried 295 yards in the air that just barely failed to carry the left center fairway bunker, the ball wuz buried in the face of the deep bunker which necessitated a 5 yard blast out...and then the **** went sideways from there, that's ******* golf sometimes, let's ******* go michael (after a good night's sleep)

2026 cal men's golf recruiting update:

https://instagr.am/p/DQ-AGpoEgLZ
https://instagr.am/p/DRBKFLXj7vR
dang but in addition to future euro ryder couper parisian callixte alzas the staff has inexplicably signed 2 4.0 gpa kids from cali with ZERO golfing achievements at this time, hopefully they both bring chips on their shoulders/a relentless passion to improve/develop because honestly neither of them is probably even a d2 level recruit at this time



woof, woof, woof, i cry (somebody is crabby today, sigh)#

Bill, I looked up Christopher. He's currently 57th in the AJGA rankings, and appears to be playing a national junior schedule, including winning Justin Thomas' junior tournament in Kentucky back in July. Since he's from Westlake Village, I'm guessing he probably plays out of North Ranch Country Club, the same club that produced Brandon Hagy. He shot three rounds in the 60s at the Thomas, so he's obviously got some talent. I'm going to guess the coach is trying to keep the roster somewhat balanced between US and overseas players. For one thing, it looks to me like if a foreign player struggles in school, they're now more likely to transfer.
Shocky1
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jeff, shocky walked (with his brah vandalus) & coached up zinqin zhou (eating his moms tasty pork dumplings along the way) all 18 holes during his transformational 68 at la costa's legoland course in the may of 2024 ncca championship & spoke extensively to graham christopher (who is polite & articulate) & his dad (they play outta sherwood cc in thousand oaks)

christopher (like 6 of the current players other than z & charlie) is too slender/lacks strength to play high level championship golf on a consistent basis at this time & does not track his daily consumption of protein grams, this is a systematic problem within the cal golf program along with not engaging in yoga/meditation practices

https://instagr.am/p/DPRx8wejmEj
^ look being built like a lean feral doggy dog like shocky is ******* great if ur goal is to someday become an uncertified substitute yoga teacher at modern yoga (or a most excellent naked azz yoga shower partner) but it's no ******* bueno if u wanna be part of winning a ncca national championship and/or get PAID in professional golf...look at the bears solidly constructed BIG 4 of collin, max, ben & michael & also the recent surgence on the pga tour of stanford's karl vilips, patrick rodgers, maverick mcnealy, brandon wu, michael thorborjornsen & joseph bramlett who are all products of the cards rigorous s&c program (cal's s&c program is led by an inexperienced guy from st marys) & look like greek gods or something

spoke last week with a near scratch player at sherwood who tole me he wuz "surprised" that graham got a scholly offer from cal...to christopher's credit he did win the justin thomas junior championship (which accounts for two thirds of his ajga points) this july in kentucky on a 6924 yard course (73.9/136 slope) with stellar rounds of 67, 68 & 69 so there's definitely some upside there & shocky is 100% rooting for the likable graham to reach his potential both on the golf course & in the classrooms of berkeley!!

on the other hand noah eisen (kinda like trevor cox in this year's class) doesn't even have 1 junior tournament u can point to as a sign of great things to come, hopefully the delasalle product is a tireless worker with a lunch pail mindset for improvement, let's ******* go noah!!

and of course the 3rd member of the bears 2026 class callixte alzas has already successfully competed at the CATHEDRALS of golf on the game's largest stages!!

brandon hagy wuz a neighbor of mine here in north scottsdale & like his bears teammate max played outta whisper rock, he totally lost his game (and his pga card) when he moved to inclement weather charlotte & des tole me that he wrote a letter of recommendation for hagy (a haas biz ad grad like des, stalter, weaver, morikawa, limbhaust, the shockster & now charlie bundy) to attend an ivy league mba program

https://instagr.am/p/DPCIzexkTyz
golf carts r for losers (stfu shocky, r u that delusional that u think ur the golf team's 3rd coach??)!!#
Shocky1
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clemson tigers 20
louisville cardinals 19

yeah placekicking, longsnapping & undisciplined 15 yard penalties in the 4th quarter caused a very athletically gifted louisville team (7-3) to gift a victory to their opponents in the land of elvis, bourbon & secretariat in the cold kentucky rain

and wut are the records now of the 3 acc schools that voted against 6-4 cal from receiving an acc invitation??

clemson 5-5
north carolina 4-5
florida state 4-5

cal will be hosting clemson at memorial stadium in the fall of 2026, the good news is that tigers qb1 cade klubnik (from qb football factory westlake high school in austin) is gonna be outta eligibility which means dabo (who is not a fan of the transfer portal) is likely gonna be starting an inexperienced tigers qb1 running the tigers offense 3000 miles away on the left coast against a 2nd year lefty qb1 jaron keawe sagapolutele

yeah elvis is a big fan of that curvy brunette yoga female too (no wonder he can't sleep soundly or nothing, he probably needs some yoga deep breathing exercises but that's not gonna happen now cuz he's ******* DEAD)

Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DQ4jFE-Eb0E
oregon ducks 42
minnesota gophers 13

it's incomprehensible to any warm weather high gpa poly and/or curvy brunette yoga female from an academically mediocre school why anybody (other than mean spirited chronic alcoholics) would wanna live in freezing azz level 7 hypothermia ****holes like eugene or minnesota (6--4), right jaron & cade??



cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island (parkas r for losers)

https://instagr.am/p/DQ4VSFuDS7j
Shocky1
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^ this is how the game is played at the highest levels in the modern era, u need +1 athleticism combined with a rock solid body to generate a fluid effortless not even full swing 193 mph (contrasted to 6 of the 8 current bears swinging violently in an elusive effort to generate clubhead/ballhead speed which means the non calibrated misses are gonna be really ******* bad, luv how callixte alzas gotta lotta off speed iron play reminiscent of zinqin zhou, max homa & collin morikawa)...cal's inexperienced s&c coach is NOT getting the job done in berkeley (the seriously undersized bears finished dead last in their last tournament with a candy azz soft field, poor nutrition is also a factor in not building bodies rite)

michael kim (71, tied for 30th): better than yesterday's 76 but worser than thursday's 64, that's golf...with the tee moved way up michael tried to drive it into the dangerous right side risk/reward split fairway par 5 18th hole but blocked it to the right into the native area but still managed to roll in a 10 foot birdie putt to finish on a positive note!!

https://instagr.am/p/DQ7rMDAkjWJ
^ hopefully this wuz just staged for the gram shot, this seems kinda mean to the happy doggy dog & gonna **** up the golf bag too

fun fact: dang but shocky luvs them rescue doggy dogs more than the vast majority of human beings!!

https://instagr.am/p/DRDi0FvjmWb
woof, woof, woof, i cry#
Shocky1
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it's the most wonderful time of the year in westworld (checks don't bounce)#
82gradDLSdad
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Cal golf should talk to Bryson and Padraig. Two guys who changed their bodies and swings to hit the ball a lot further than what they were doing at their prior levels of competition. Padraig proved it's never too late. Physical and SPEED training.
Shocky1
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dls, dechambo is a piece of **** human being who took blood money from the saudi government that financed 19 of the 20 terrorist hijackers on 9/11 to enrich himself on the liv exhibition golf league, he wuz a physics major at smu & has experimented with steroids and blood doping in his quest to gain yardage according to my unimpeachable sources within professional golf...mark my words he's caused irreversible damage to his body & would not be surprised if he mysteriously dies before age 40 because of "unknown" causes, dechambo is the last guy shocky would evah want the cal golf team to meet for mentorship purposes

a better solution would be for current co athletic director ****tard jay larson to fire the current golf s&c coach & then hire the stanford assistant s&c coach to implement the cards program in berkeley...and both coach wilson & coach ireland need to be ON SITE during all s&c player workouts to monitor progress (including weight/strength gains) with transparent metrics

https://instagr.am/p/CHV_jnql2JH
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/CjN1vTuOcUH
wake forest demon deacons 28
north carolina tar heels 14

congrats to coach christy on shocky's 3rd favorite acc school in exorcising a north carolina (4-6) program that thinks they need to depart the acc & "play up" in the sec or big 10
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DJEoGMKORxb
georgia tech yellow jackets 36
boston college eagles 34

bc (1-10) is often good enough to be competitive against good teams but not good enuf to make the big plays necessary to win football games in the back bay
Shocky1
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virginia cavaliers 34
duke blue devils 17

them cardiac kids cavs (9-2) in a surprisingly easy romp in durham against the devils (5-5)

the bears travel to charlottesville next fall who will be finding out about life after current qb1 chandler morris (the paws of virginia football) & dynamic (particularly when play called for PITCHOUTS on the edges in wide open space) rb1 j'mari taylor
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DNQk3_3x8wE
tulsa hurricanes 31
oregon state beavers 14

yeah the beavs (2-9) are really ******* bad

sigh#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DRFnyrngVOt
california golden bears 69
charlotte 49ers 44

the bears women hoopers move to 3-1, former mcdonalds all american point guard aliyahna puff morris filled up the stat sheet with 17 points including a steph curry kinda 5 of 10 3 pointers along with 8 boards (talked with her on the field at a football game, she's around 5'3"+ with a beautiful smile!!) & 6 assists & perhaps most importantly a strong handle with only 1 turnover!!

yeah puff the magic bear lived by the sea in a place called berkeley

https://instagr.am/p/DPCbrfMEtNZ
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/CTf5CYKLuR5
florida state seminoles 34
virginia tech hokies 14

apparently admission to fsu (5-5) requires ur gpa to be higher than ur # of stds or something
Shocky1
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^ check out mateen's funny sorry azz tackle attempt & then seconds later the ref taking a nosedive into the turf at the horseshoe!!

THE ohio state buckeyes 48
ucla bruins 10

yeah shocky is a ucla tv fan kinda like the loser cal tv fans that root against their team but the primary difference is that shocky's cloud sofa is NOT urine stained (tho it's possible benji and/or beauty had a potty boo boo at some point that daddy don't know about) like doubtful & not so bright's smelly azz sofas!!

https://instagr.am/p/CqdJxvlMyL0
hopefully ucla (3-7) can get to 9 losses this season with remaining games against usc & washington before the 2026 TOTAL REBUILD which will put 10+ losses in play including the golden bears azz kicking of the bruins on september 5th at a probable SOLD OUT memorial stadium with heisman candidate JARON KEAWE SAGAPOLUTELE throwing dimes into tight windows!!


it's the most wonderful time of the year in westworld (checks don't bounce)!!#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DQFombYkmJ1
san diego aztecs 17
boise state broncos 7

sean lewis is gonna be going home to his midwest roots, the bears staff needs to have a scouting evaluation of every sdsu (8-2) starter on d with remaining eligibility when the transfer portal reopens in january

and let's be real here, not everyone is a fan of boise


ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
oskiswifeshusband
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Hi Shocky
BearForceOne
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SDSU's defense was pretty good, as we found out first hand…
BearFumble
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Enjoying the post game wrap ups.
Shocky1
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2025 dp tour championship in dubai: 4th round update

michael kim (69, tied for 24th): CONGRATULATIONS michael on a fantastic 2025 season on the pga & dp tours moving up to #35 in the official world golf rankings & currently on the path to competing in all 4 majors in 2026 plus being the 1st grad of legoland high school to evah earn a spot on next year's american president's cup team!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

max homa update: back with mark blackburn, check out max's beautifully rhythmic off speed iron play!!
https://instagr.am/p/DQw3nLIjxdL
zinqin zhou update: fully expect z to start stringing together multiple consecutive rounds in the 60s in early 2026 after both he & true freshman sensation xihuan chang played lights out in dubai at the asia pacific amateur!!
https://instagr.am/p/DRGaCgKEeRv
byeong hun an: ben's son (check out his full shoulder rotation & loading up on the ball) is gonna be the star signee outta donald duck high school in orlando of a future coach wilson recruiting class!!

this is the GOLDEN ERA of cal golf (right cade??)!!#
Shocky1
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Shocky1
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acc: BEST conference on planet earth for FUN roadtrip adventures at the CATHEDRALS of golf combined with cal football gamedays!!



next saturday nite in palo alto is gonna be ******* bear territory!!#
Shocky1
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woof, woof, woof, i cry#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DP-cJ51Dr3O
real talk: watching my guy mateen bhaghani drill field goals with breathtaking height & accuracy in clutch moments with ice in his veins is kinda like watching my fellow haas biz ad grad hopa/hopa poly collin morikawa do EPIC **** at the CATHEDRALS of golf on the game's largest stages!!



art comes in many beautiful forms (and can be as simple as arranging flowers)#
Shocky1
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the TAKERS get PAID in the national football league & got ATTITUDE!!#
Shocky1
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california golden bears 76
harvard crimson 65

in the acc vs ivy league battle of high gpa true student athletes, the wildly entertaining bears (now 4-1, hopefully andrew mcgraw & coach wilcox will get the entire fb squad to one of their games in january) got a boost from team leader (and the future fiance of nohl williams) australian lulu twidale knocking down 4 of 8 3 pointers with greater arc on her perimeter shots (she wuz too flat with her ball trajectory early in the season) en route to a game high 17 points

the other big development is the emergence of gonzaga/utah transfer naya ojukwu playing with offensive intensity (still needs to work on her d in understanding passing angles/leverage) in scoring 15 points on an efficient 7 of 10 shooting along with 6 boards to complement 6'6" sakima walker (dad samaki played in the nba) who also scored 15 points while playing d with a high basketball iq of the principle of verticality in avoiding dumb azz fouls

let if fly, lulu, let it fly!!#
sycasey
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Shocky1 said:

california golden bears 76
harvard crimson tide 65

You mean Harvard Crimson.
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DKsGdkkiETa
sorry sycasey, it's been edited



wuz u surprised that forbes magazine recently ranked berkeley behind stanford but ahead of harvard??
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/



fun fact: ^ the lead singer kinda look like my guy mateen bhaghani
Shocky1
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the MAGIC of cal football includes a lotta little glimmer moments (but only if ur not a sad **** cal tv "fan" talking about **** from years ago that NOBODY gives 2 ***** about anymore)#
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