https://instagr.am/p/DdUZ8LThXxh
https://instagr.am/p/DMll7rox9XM
apex predator edge defenders MUST ******* eat!!

Bastian Swinney on the effort of Michael Klisiewicz stepping in at RT

“I thought it was amazing how Mike reacted. Getting thrown in the fire, I have nothing but good things to say about that guy. Me and him lifted together all winter. He understands what it takes to really work.… pic.twitter.com/bUy7PlQzG2

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) September 15, 2026

PROPS to blueshirt freshman (dnp last season) offensive tackle michael klisiewicz from local liberty high school in brentwood (bay area) stepping in for starting right tackle jimothy lewis (banged up) during the 1st half with no whiffs in protecting jaron's blind spot!!

it wuz very LOUD (something that is lost to the usually misinformed sr citizen nega bears on this board who watch games from their urine stained sofas, maybe a separate board could be set up just for them & other golden years incels??) in the syracuse dome which made staying in synch in terms of communication for the o-line very challenging

yeah cal's monster offensive line is a work in progress (and would benefit in the run game from more quick hitting PITCHOUTS to the edges, not to be confused with slow developing shovel/screen passes that are getting stuffed at the line of scrimmage in part due to jaron telegraphing/staring down where he's going with the ball, a little bit of eyeball misdirection would go a long way in confusing defenders brah)

pic.twitter.com/gcVQiIZzmG

— Michael Alford (@M_Alford11) September 14, 2026

Dear FSU Athletics Community:

More than six years ago I arrived in this ****hole low key racist truck stop town called Tallahassee with my uprooted family in our quest to make this football program for low GPA dumb azzs our Seminole home forever.

Well that **** didn't happen.

Like many White people in the Deep South I neither support nor condone slavery but that's not important now that I'm stepping away leaving the Athletic Department hundreds of millions of dollars in debt and the inevitable decision to fire Mike Norvell (and eat his remaining $51,000,000 contract) left to the next Athletic Director.

I'm proud of this institution voting with Clemson and North Carolina to NOT offer ACC invitations to Cal and Stanford, we do not need Left Coast liberals bringing their disturbing ideology (like reading books and ****) to our special Seminole community.

A good luck shout out to current 2027 commit 3.4 GPA defensive tackle Sam LeJuene on his upcoming decision to either attend a skool with 3 inch blood sucking insects and Hades level insufferable humidity that will at best prepare him for making 20 bucks an hour at age 30 working at a Waffle House or flipping to the #1 ranked public university in the World in beautiful ideal weather California that facilities building generational wealth both thru hard work in the Berkeley classrooms and NFL coaching development at Memorial Stadium.

Please know that while I may look like an alcoholic high school baseball coach with a crew cut and bad dental work in a Hallmark movie with all White characters except the one funny Black that works at the gas station and the short always smiling Asian at the cleaners, I will bleed Seminole maroon and gold all the way to Wells Fargo while double checking my direct deposit payments for the rest of my life and will terribly miss getting ****faced hammered with all of you on Nole gamedays!!

Go FSU!!

Michael Alford

https://instagr.am/p/C2pyYVLLDzm

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/DC16Ir5PaEt
^ not sure why the monster picked this particular foto of the chancellor among rich's thousands of fotos, maybe when shocky's starts therapy (ideally with a cbyf1 with a triggering ponytail) for his multitude of unresolved mental health issues (including but not limited to his being unfairly evaluated by modern yoga management as a substitute yoga teacher17) this greater understanding of one's inner self will become more apparent or some **** like that

chancellor lyons, just got a notice that as a season tix holder that will be day tripping to the left coast saturday that the university is offering me 4 FREE tixs but unfortunately the monster don't personally know nobody to give these tixs to which is probably pretty common for anybody over 30 years of age

honestly it's seems like kinda bizarro marketing to be focusing on getting people with no affiliation to cal to the game when u got thousands of berkeley students that will be studying at doe, moffitt, etc unless u give them a FREE tix (and yeah a lotta these now almost starving students will be multi millionaires in the future with deep pockets to become mega donors if they don't feel their berkeley experience wuz purely transactional)

tomorrow would be a BEAUTIFUL day in berkeley for u to announce that any berkeley student with an identification card is inclusively invited for FREE to saturday's football game at 12:30 pm at memorial stadium & then the concert with train afterwards, u feel me??

rich, ur sending the clear message to poor as **** kids from low socioeconomic backgrounds (like my tiny berkeley grad tiger moms back in the day) that don't got rich parents to buy them the student combo pass that they are invited to celebrate with their classmates THE MAGIC OF CAL FOOTBALL on a glorious fall saturday in the bay area that they are not invisible and would be a remarkably compassionate & innovative move on ur part!!

let's ******* go, chancellor lyons (we're waiting on a friend)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

https://instagr.am/p/DdWyLhLP71n

https://instagr.am/p/Cm4nv1MP6Tg
^ note that the cbyf1 in the 3rd row with a light blue puffer jacket is macking on the monster (who wuz born under scorpio skies with no social filter)!!

a golf buddy/executive with a nba organization client of mine is advising me that former los angeles lakers executive/interim volunteer ucla athletic director tim harris is a reader of cal's monster offensive line...great line from the harris press release today: "Our students are the heartbeat of UCLA"
https://nypost.com/2026/09/17/sports/new-ucla-athletics-boss-tim-harris-wants-everyone-on-board/

folks, this is literally marketing 101 to extend FREE tickets to all students for all hoops & football games, this is NOT rocket science

meanwhile there will be possibly 40,000+ empty seats (the monster will be there all by myself!!) this saturday afternoon at memorial stadium and both the bears mens & women's basketball programs will once again be at the BOTTOM of the acc in attendance metrics under the failed leadership of jay & jenny (as the multiple female student athletes in multiple different sports file lawsuits with disturbingly similar serious allegations of abuse) while the chancellor just looks the other way as they proudly proclaim that the student section is SOLD OUT (doubling down on stupid as **** is not a characteristic of successful organizations)...making up insanely low attendance goals (along with tarp management) & then claiming victory is a markeisha everrett gift to the university

https://instagr.am/p/DdXaBSilzsF
yeah the last time shocky went to his former palace the bears broke a 12 game losing streak with his captain insano energy/player development but unfortunately when he/him/it STORMED THE COURT there wuz NOBODY (including his floor seatmmate taylor who had promised him she would join me, my daughter apparently believes in rules & ****) else running with him, the look on an incredulous lars face when i greeted him in the postgame congrats line & tole him in german that he did a great job DEMANDING the ball down low in the paint is something schulzy is never evah gonna forget)!!

in the postgame interview then head coach mark fox commented that there was "a special energy in the building this afternoon!!"

Cal 💙💛 students of the Number 1 Public University of the World showed out 🚀🚀🚀@CalAthletics @CalFootball #Cal #Calgorithm #GoBears🐻 pic.twitter.com/UhdvZ9s23m

— hoopdreams 🐻💙💛 (@hoopdreams1000) September 7, 2026

real talk: this is NOT representative of the current berkeley student body, almost every student in this video is WHITE (most likely in fraternities/sororities with rich parents that bought them the $125 student combo pass no problemo), where are the ASIAN (almost half the student body), BLACK, INDIA & LATINA/LATINO descent students??

they are NOT at the cal football games which is not surprising in that the overwhelming majority of the worthless bureaucrats among the cal athletic "executive team" are WHITE outta touch non berkeley grads starting with jay & jenny who still cling to the 1000% outdated concept that if something is FREE it's not valued (marie antoinette would appreciate their pompous self entitled WHITE centric thinking for sure)

https://instagr.am/p/DdXIi7my0Rc
global branding/marketing requires focused disciplined targeted marketing strategies to build fanbases including upfront investment costs aka FREE admission to potential NEW/YOUNGER fans in today's highly competitive 6 second attention span marketplace economy, the wnba franchise across the bay is averaging a SOLD OUT 18,046 by successfully WELCOMING underserved groups *lgbtq & the bay's asian communities

https://instagr.am/p/DcKgsG2tJGi
^ in case ur clueless as **** & haven't figured it out yet this is not what a nearly empty haas pavilion looks like on hoops gamedays anymore (tho back in the cal's monster class days of relentless inclusive FUN marketing to bay area non berkeley grads the men's program averaged almost 11,000 fans)...fyi shocky tole mark madsen at a football gameday right after he wuz hired he needed to bring in an asian hooper to become a fan favorite (that never happened, representation matters in building loyal fanbases)

damn, the cal athletic department & its enablers are dumb as ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
^ and people sometimes ask shocky why he/him/it don't get more financially involved with this university, man we just fall about the place, if they don't wanna know, forget them (and go ahead & kiss them wagging tail rescue doggy dogs whose hearts are full of LOVE!!)

https://instagr.am/p/DSspPFOEu1L
^ benji & beauty are an inseparable brother/sister package combo deal, they got the same moms (lily who is cute as ****) but different baby daddys (benji's dad in south phoenix is "fat boy" & beauty's dad is unknown)!!

2026 asheville tournament: 1st round update

https://instagr.am/p/DdR002WJ5Y3
michael kim (71, tied for 70th): solid opening round as michael played the nicklaus design (with its usual formulaic 4 demanding par 3s & 4 FUN par 5s) like a pro capitalizing on the scoreable 5s in 4 under par (including an EPIC 237 yard 2nd shot to 6 feet on the par 5 17th hole en route to an eagle 3) until the round got kinda derailed on his final hole of the day (the 489 yard dog left par 4 9th) with a penalty stroke after an over cooked hook off the tee box en route to a bogey...mr 59's game is sharp (particularly his scrambling around the greens), fully expect a move up the leaderboard mañana!!

https://instagr.am/p/DdXw25UMptL
Z tole shocky after last week's opening 36 hole round in the desert that his preference is dying in putts over the front edge on fast greens (he's gonna love augusta national!!)...a fellow competitor in his threesome who wuz leading the tournament jumped our conversation & offered the observation that if zhou had hit his putts with more pace on the super dooper slow greens (around 9 on the stimp) that Z could've had a dozen or so more birdies while shocky nodded his head & tole ziqin that it's true that his putts lacked holing speed energy (particularly on putts under 10 feet)

the monster also tole Z that he thinks he's got the requisite mental, physical & golfing tools/skillsets to be the #1 ranked collegiate golfer in the nation this season on the heels of winning the acc individual championship last spring, let's go ziqin!!

https://instagr.am/p/Ddan43YMbYm
collin morikawa has won professional 9 tournaments on the following types of green surfaces, great golfers adapt to the conditions (because the conditions are sure as **** are not gonna adapt to the golfer):

royal st georges (british open): fescue and native bentgrass
harding park (pga championship): poa annua with bentgrass
pebble beach: poa annua
muirfield village (twice): creeping bentgrass
concession: tifeagle bermuda
montreux: poa annua & creeping bentgrass
narashino: creeping bentgrass
jumeirah (earth): tifeagle bermuda

https://instagr.am/p/Db3ILYbCLDi
cal is a golf school (with a FUN football program that got upside thx to a generational talent lefty qb1 from ewa beach)!!#

forest, well stated with a real world (them clams after a beach run sound tasty!!) example (vs outdated research bull****) of the fanbase building value of FREE admission & ur right a long history is no guarantee of future survival in today's highly competitive fast paced economy

𝑮𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 your new Co-Athletic Directors! 🐻#GoBears pic.twitter.com/lB0poamoB0

— Cal Athletics (@CalAthletics) July 3, 2025

^ literally the worst interview in the history of cal athletics with these 2 swarmy & unlikeable ****tards tryna rebrand themselves as pro football after working against the fb program for the last decade!!

the monster would like to see the chancellor FIRE both jay & jenny and use that $1,000,000+ in annual salary savings to offer all berkeley students FREE tixs to all sporting events with 2 top dogs per game (and a bonus blondies cheese slice with a splash of oregano as a bonus if the cali bears win)!!

https://instagr.am/p/BhPKrRTBClD

https://instagr.am/p/Cw0vhNBuAE_
pittsburgh panthers 27
syracuse orange 13

syracuse (1-2) gotta lotta ELITE talent (with man buns, not cbyf1 triggering ponytails) particularly wr1 umari hatcher but fran brown (one of the top recruiters in the acc) is setting a poor role model example with respects to the debilitating plethora of penalties against the orange

cal's season finale at memorial stadium against pittsburgh (3-0) will require the bears d to account for true freshman with SPEED rb1 damon ferguson jr (10 carries for 102 yards, turns the edge with tight cuts)...panthers qb1 mason heintschel (an inaccurate 10 of 23 passing for 123 yards) is a game manager whose best skill is making plays with his legs (41 yards rushing)...jks will be able to exploit pitt's short sub 6' defensive backs

32-yard TD burst for Damon Ferguson! ⚡️

📺 ESPN

Pitt 14, Syracuse 0 pic.twitter.com/43XJa8oKLW

— Pitt Football (@Pitt_FB) September 18, 2026

the following is a video of the monster taking over during a class when master teacher anton had to take a phone call or something & now it's being used against shocky by modern yoga in unfairly evaluating him as a substitute yoga teacher17...and that's just total bull**** (why can't yoga be FUN??)!!

TOUCHDOWWWWWN PANTHERS 🙌 pic.twitter.com/GBwe73HtVt

— Pitt Panthers (@Pitt_ATHLETICS) November 16, 2024

That zoom in was BRUTAL 😭 pic.twitter.com/CjM87v76L4

— BrickCenter (@BrickCenter_) September 18, 2026

^ coastie, that's the look of someone who don't wanna be living in a ****hole like starksville coaching the oklahoma state cowboys linebackers next season when practice is cancelled because of deadly tornadoes in the region!!

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/DPRx8wejmEj
alex, since ur a major financial stakeholder (cal is the only university on planet earth that gotta men's golf endowment greater than the football program, think about that) as u & ur charming wife marie funded the head coach position the monster will keep it real with u, my take is that this is a very tight team that cares about each other & does a great job of balancing academics with golf which means that all 9 likable roster student athletes got bright futures!!

and sunday's low scoring bounce back round at sahalee against a ncca finals field says a lot about the mental resilience of this team!!

in my opinion there are 5 guys (the starting line up this past weekend in seattle) with experience successfully competing on the game's largest stages (the us & british amateurs) but the final piece of the equation holding the team back is the strength & conditioning program (the s&c coach is relatively inexperienced coming from st marys, just another reason why jay & jenny need to be fired, the lack of accountability within the athletic department is mind boggling) which needs to happen in conjunction with greater protein nutrition awareness & yoga/meditation practices to guard against back issues like those experienced sometimes by Z

my tree fort in north scottsdale gotta lotta world top 100 players nearby including max homa, jon rahm, wyndham clark, jj spaun, tony finau, michael brannen, jake knapp, etc and the common denominator they all share is that they work on their bodies as much as their games as championship golf at the highest levels is dominated these days by those that have chased ELITE ball/club SPEED


^ note jake's meticulous high protein meal & daily sweat equity of s&c workouts that do not involve a golf club in his hands (knapp is even working out during tournaments per his conversation with his trainer at the scottsdale airpark complex, the work on the body literally never ends at this level)

this thread has explained how cali bears max homa, collin morikawa & michael kim have all gained significant weight/muscle during the last 18 months, this has not appreciably happened with the men's golf team as collectively the team is undersized compared to top 10 programs...shocky has attended a lotta pga tour events during the last year, the distances off the tee are absolutely unreal!!

shocky (who also needs to gain more muscle/strength/body mass) luvs how coach lup & the football staff work out alongside their players, maybe coaches michael & peter (great guys/terrific role models) need to do the same thing too (right now the team would not qualify for the ncca regionals after disappointing results in the long season's first 2 tournaments & last season's failure to advance to the ncca finals at legoland) to ensure relentless development of their squad's physiques??

https://instagr.am/p/DTGyvnkDBj6
what are your thoughts??

---

my limited interaction with the Cal players in the past is they don't focus on weight training during college. The exception was Homa who lifted like crazy and Hagy who was a demon at stretching his body and core work achieving incredible rotational strength and distance. That said, Collin and Micky Kim clearly now do a lot of training and in fact have changed their body shape. Some of this may be a time thing, because Cal p;auera do attend class and as you know golf is the sport where you are away from school the most. If something takes a back seat it may that extra work out. As for nutrition, there is no excuse to not focus on this if you are a D1 athlete. If that isn't happening, the coaching staff needs to step-up.

alex, other than Z (who works out with his dynamic moms back home) & callixte (who got sturdy rickie fowler tree trunk legs for a solid foundation) the other 7 cali bears on this year's roster are all undersized relative to top 10 program players

agreed that the academic demands of a berkeley education don't permit all day workouts like pga golfers but that's no excuse for guys not working out on their own outside of the ncca limitations re: formal coaching hours per week

look shocky is a huge fan of the charismatic (and very likeable) sihao but reheating pizza slices (about 4 grams of protein) for breakfast is NOT the path to carrying the ball 300+ yards into the wind, rory mcilroy (who is about the same height as most of our bears) meticulously tracks his 175 protein grams a day (basically his weight)...perhaps michael & peter need to consult with the football program's former nfl nutritionist or something

https://instagr.am/p/DNuVKFJXEnc

BREAKING: Steve Belichick has resigned as North Carolina's DC, ESPN reports. https://t.co/8QSehck5xV pic.twitter.com/4YdJZz3RcC

— On3 (@On3) September 17, 2026

^ modern yoga substitute teacher336 (syt336), will never be on the cover of fitness magazine (should probably buy some term life insurance or something)

adios mr man bun amid allegations of drug/alcohol abuse & sex among staff members

**** clemson, north carolina & florida state for voting AGAINST acc invitations to cal & stanford!!

Berkeley game pic.twitter.com/vd5EyehuJx

— Reese Adams (@ReeseAdams76102) October 22, 2025

^ jaron, ur continuing to telegraph ur passes this season (particularly audibles & the stuffed wr screens), a little eye candy misdirection would go a long way brah!!

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/DdNQRq-IlcF
^ for true cali golden bears this is the most BEAUTIFUL CHANT in the history of planet earth!!

california golden bears 21
syracuse orange 18

So nice he had to do it twice 😏@LopaKingston takes his second interception of the game all the way to the endzone for a Bears touchdown.

📺 @accnetwork #GoBears pic.twitter.com/MTWLqScMlu

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) September 12, 2026

kingston lopa: is gonna potentially be one of the greatest safeties evah to play for them cali bears, his closing speed on the ball is ******* unreal

https://instagr.am/p/DZVPUfzkpI-
and his defensive back teammates isaiah crosby (visited briefly with his beautiful family before the game), daniel harris & jae'on young did not play perfect football (passing interference, wrong angles on rushing plays, lacked ball awareness in coverage) but they played with the unyielding HEARTS of champions!!

Take a look ⤵️

📺 @accnetwork #GoBears pic.twitter.com/PxXAyqvCgY

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) September 12, 2026

yeah coach king von brown don't got no guys that are from 63rd!!

goal line offense: the worstest play call of the game wuz the dumb azz slow developing run from the shotgun to the perimeter which wuz stuffed for a 2 yard loss...rolo & jordan, on a go forward basis get jaron under center & run adam behind jericho johnson in the elephant package, got it (if necessary go back & read the monster's posts recapping his conversations with nfl hall of fame defensive coordinator marv lewis re: this topic)??

PITCHOUTS: both pitches to adam wuz successful runs, let's dial up this play call at least a handful times a game!!

wide receivers: there's undeniably talent, the next step in this room's development is finishing plays with receptions

Right on target 🎯@JaronKeawe finds @ChaseHendricks_ for a Bears touchdown.

📺 @accnetwork #GoBears pic.twitter.com/At6eTzr2hS

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) September 12, 2026

special teams: successful 4th down fake punt by the orangemen, multiple poorly defended punt & kickoff returns, a bad punt snap, a missed field goal, etc...gotta clean this **** up before clemson shows up on an ELECTRIC friday nite in berkeley

gameday: me & taylor parked on university hill & walked down thru the quad to the stadium & watched the syracuse band/dance team perform, we did the hang with erik during the pregame warm ups before settling into our 50 yard seats behind the syracuse bench (fran brown is an intense guy!!)...the cuse fans could not be more welcoming!!

city of syracuse: don't got a northeast ivy league collegiate vibe, it gotta lotta tired rust belt industrial city infrastructure

conversation during the last minute of the game:

taylor: wait dad, are you crying??

shocky (wiping his eyes): i dunno, maybe

the MAGIC of cal football (cannot be experienced from further afar, get to memorial stadium unless ur incarcerated or one of the loser sr citizen nega bears, u ready??)

https://instagr.am/p/DdRp-u_FgL9

---

Shocks, cherish all these memories with your daughter! What an amazing experience to travel, watch your Golden Bears, & get that time with family. The MAGIC of Cal football is real!

https://instagr.am/p/Dc7Eqf3gvY2
2026 asheville tournament: 2nd round update

michael kim (68, tied for 46th): michael is playing exceptional golf & despite making a triple bogey 6 (hit a downhill chip from over the green into a bunker in front of the green, etc.) on the par 3 5th hole (after yesterday's bogey from the front right rough), made a major move up the leaderboard as expected & will be competing this weekend

michael, the 5th green complex favors a nicklaus/morikawa cutty sark fade on the tee ball not ur right to left ball flight, tomorrow let's just work the ball into the left half of the green regardless of where the pin is positioned & get outta there with a par, u feel me brah??

real talk: rahmbo is playing like caca, shot a 78 & 77 to miss the cut at wentworth west (arguably the most affluent neighborhood in london, rory gotta house there as do the families of russian oligopolists)...jon is ****** with a 4th child on the way back home in north scottsdale, dad is gonna spend all of 2027 in europe on the dp tour chasing a top 10 finish to get back to the pga tour in the states against brutally challenging competition but the good news is that he's still considered a strong candidate to finish in the top 10 in the cart riding silverleaf club championship!!

Jon Rahm was hoping to turn the tide of his tough year outside of LIV Golf this week at the BMW PGA Championship, but the struggles continued in a big way.https://t.co/zFNkYnYGGi

— Skratch (@Skratch) September 17, 2026

https://instagr.am/p/Dce6pz9M8fo

https://instagr.am/p/DbeBApfqwSc
miami hurricanes 33
wake forest demon deacons 20

the key to the cali bears FUN roadie to south beach next season will be NOT ordering the 30 day old deep fried barracuda at sexy fish & the TAKERS (they not be from 63rd, right king von??) containing electric playmaking wideout malachi toney (who will be breaking in a new qb1 from the transfer portal)

Mood: pic.twitter.com/F93Z8qwhqe

— Coach Von Brown (@CoachDBrown27) January 18, 2026

yeah for the traveling/golfing/dining left coast cali golden bear fans the ACC is the greatest ******* conference on planet earth, the monster got zero interest in the midwest's non cosmopolitan white cowtowns with bad weather (with perhaps the exceptions of rutgers & minnesota)

wake forest (2-1) will be traveling 3000 miles to berkeley in a couple of weeks with qb1 gio lopez (29 outta 46 passing for 312 yards & 1 pick) who impressed tonite with his accuracy while throwing on the run outta the pocket & his ability to keep the chains moving with short yardage runs

A 49-yard pickup in the clutch 😮‍💨

📺 ESPN https://t.co/0H8yUW52fC pic.twitter.com/bn3wPZsoHv

— Wake Forest Football (@WakeFB) September 19, 2026

coach hutchings (in conjunction with coach lup) will need to devise a gameplan that pressures gio to make rushed throws/contains him in scrambling off schedule runs, the deacs only rushed for 22 yards vs the canes & are kinda one dimensionally offensively

pic.twitter.com/lJF0Wq8gRp

— Dajohn Yarborough (@DajohnYarboroug) July 3, 2026

visited at phx sky harbor airport with ELITE 2027 commit dajohn yarborough who already got legit NFL size

the humble & articulate dajohn tole me that his top 5 nationally ranked basha high school team beat west valley powerhouse liberty high school last nite so making an unofficial visit up to the bay made sense today

yarborough tole me that he's position flexible & willing to play either inside or outside, he's got the +1 athleticism quick twitch/fast feet to play tackle which in the monster's estimation is the position that needs the most infusion of 2027 impact ready talent

yeah the monster asked dajohn what's his gpa, right now he's posting up a solid 3.1 gpa

Couple clips from big man camp pic.twitter.com/1Kdgkvf2ph

— Dajohn Yarborough (@DajohnYarboroug) June 10, 2026

update: bumped into dajohn again on the field during the pregame warm ups, yarborough confirmed he's gonna be a high school grad/early enrollee this january & will be participating in spring ball!!

https://instagr.am/p/DdfP884vVFc
^ val's ponytail is 3 zip codes past EPIC this season!!

california golden bears 49
wagner seahawks 7

wide receiver blocking: after a decade plus of candy azz soft blocking by the bad news bears wideouts (which contributed to zero of them getting drafted by the violent nfl) coach ike's nfl mentality is starting to show up in the perimeter blocking...the 1st play of the game wuz a stacked 4 wideout formation which had numbers against 3 seahawk defenders...and ian strong delivered a say goodnight knockout alpha predator BLOCK which for the monster wuz the highlife moment of the game (somewhere in new york nyan boateng is smiling)!!

80-YARDS TO THE CRIB 🐻@KyiongrayesII takes the rock to the endzone for his first touchdown as a Bear.

📺 @accnetwork #GoBears pic.twitter.com/FEJseeHBDp

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) September 19, 2026

^ a healthy kyion grayes got world class SPEED, he is a gamebreaker!!

Cal WR Kyion Grayes on his own journey and staying ready

“I just help out as much as I can. Im an older guy, been through a lot. Sometimes it gets hard but at the end of the day, when your shot comes you got to make it happen. I had one last week at Syracuse but this week we… pic.twitter.com/Q7XUKCSvmn

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) September 20, 2026

special teams: another ****show performance with a couple of missed field goals, a bobbled almost fumbled punt, multiple kickoffs booted outta bounds & a long kickoff return with broken down lane containment assignments...it didn't matter today but the wilcox/longwell/cherrington dumb as **** decision to renege on the promised scholly offer to all american mateen bhaghani (whose academic goals included applying to the haas biz school) despite my tryna mediate a settlement at the parent's behalf is like a massive untreated std in the football program...incoming well regarded 2027 commit zach brien will certainly be given every opportunity in open competition to win the placekicking job next season...weird fact: the bears never punted

Tosh Lupoi on the ST improvements going forward

“As far as kicking out of bounds, it’s unacceptable. Can’t happen. Had some issues fielding the ball, not just getting after him but why and let’s go correct it. Effort I can promise you hasn’t been the issue whatsoever. Any error… pic.twitter.com/2MpgC1lobr

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) September 20, 2026

JKS: watching jaron throw the ball is kinda like watching collin morikawa hit a golf ball, this is generational talent MAGIC!!

TOE-TAP TD FOR CAL 🎯🐻

📺 ACCN x @CalFootball pic.twitter.com/fwKOeFoUtZ

— ACC Football (@ACCFootball) September 19, 2026

cal's monster offensive line: did not physically/violently displace the much smaller wagner front 7, ay caramba!!

elephant short yardage package: jericho johnson & ben howard, luv this impose ur will **** scheme!!

0 sacks: after showing improvement at syracuse, the outside linebackers & defensive ends regressed to ucla non impactful...this is a talent issue, the 2027 apex predator commits can't get to berkeley soon enough!!...the solution for this season will be coach hutch dialing up aggressive BLITZ packages like he did at syracuse

injury updates: starting olb jd mckinley wuz not dressed out but looked healthy in the tunnel during the pregame hype music...it appears that right tackle mike klisiewicz has beaten out jimothy lewis (banged up at syracuse last weekend but gotta lotta reps today in the 2nd half)

gameday: stadium sound system wuz once again amateur hour with all the fans around me unable to hear the official's penalty explanations, just another jay & jenny **** up

driving observation: back in the desert the shockster drives un azul & un blanco 2 door lexus convertibles, male drivers often speed up to not let me change lanes & pass them...today's avis rental wuz a MONSTER white dodge ram & it just cracked me up how drivers during my wild race from the stadium back to the airport after the final whistle moved the **** aside to make room/space for shocks!!

Syracuse lost but may have turned a few corners. They were outgaining Pitt, but a couple 2nd half int's by Angeli (sound familiar?) put the game away. Brown really had no choice but to put in 2nd string qb Odom who seems to be more of a dual threat option and may start from here on out. Cuse also subbed their placekicker with improved results, so Cal may have caught this team at the right time.

SEAT BELT 🔒@E_WashingtonII seals the Tigers' win! pic.twitter.com/An7DeQes9C

— Clemson Football (@ClemsonFB) September 19, 2026

clemson tigers 28
north carolina tar heels 21

clemson (2-1) started freshman tait reynolds from queen creek arizona at qb1 (20 of 29 passing for 215 yards & a scrambling 11 carries for 26 yards), the tigers qb1 last season is now getting paid in the national football league

a potential weak link in the tigers program is their run defense as the tar heels rushed for 214 yards & a 5.5 average but will cal's monster offensive line be able to exploit this weakness??

next friday nite at 7:30 pm at memorial stadium is gonna be ******* ELECTRIC and hopefully SOLD OUT as true berkeley bears fans will be rooting for their team in person (and not the gameday thread talking **** about specific bears), keep in mind that clemson along with north carolina & florida state voted AGAINST cal & stanford receiving acc invitations!!

Tosh Lupoi lays down the challenge to the fans to show up for Clemson

“It’s full expectation that this stadium is sold out. I’m going to be extremely disappointed if it’s not. Friday night, if you have any plans that aren’t coming to the Cal game, you need to cancel them. I… pic.twitter.com/ZnYIsIHUDa

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) September 20, 2026

where r u gonna be next friday nite, r u ready??

.@DavidsonGideon was HYPE pic.twitter.com/b7fcCmTRnQ

— Clemson Football (@ClemsonFB) September 19, 2026

Feels like this play needs a name...

Commodore Nation, what are we calling it? ⬇️ https://t.co/B6hQS0vfrV

— Vanderbilt Football (@VandyFootball) September 19, 2026

vanderbilt commodores 35
north carolina state wolfpack 31

the masters course on bad football coaching will include this final play call by north carolina state (1-2) at a hostile sec venue but make no mistake about it the cal roadie to raleigh is gonna be against a nfl prospect with tremendous length qb1 cj bailey (25 of 37 passing for 275 yards, 1 pick & 1 fatal fumble in the commodores end zone)

https://instagr.am/p/Dde6VRUBykn

Best of both worlds 😈 pic.twitter.com/9CHyfKZAZE

— Duke Football (@DukeFOOTBALL) September 20, 2026

duke blue devils 35
stanford cardinal 7

look the shockster is not gonna tell u that the cards (1-2) are a bad football team, that's not gonna happen after his bears got their azzs brutally handed to them in palo alto last november under scorpio skies thereby raining all over the shockster's b-day!!

and the hibernating bears don't even get points for trying

yeah the monster's idea of a great ******* b-day present this year will be to STORM THE FIELD with 60,000+ crazy azz outta control bears after a cali victory at memorial stadium as we sing a celebratory bear territory led by the cal band with incomprehensible happiness at the joy of being ALIVE on planet earth (material gifts are for losers)!!

real talk: there wuz not a lotta low gpa dumb azzs playing in this game

https://instagr.am/p/DdU18OEFTTB

https://instagr.am/p/DdXA6Yoh9dL
2026 asheville tournament: 3rd round update

michael kim (64, tied for 24th): after a triple bogey yesterday & a bogey thursday on the par 3 5th hole the shockster tole michael just to play it safely to the left half of the green & get outta asheville with a par

well mr 59 is a BOSS man, he said stfu shocky & knocked it 3 feet on the 5th hole for a kick in birdie enroute to an explosive 8 birdie/1 bogey 64!!

Need the rule change that if you don’t make contact with the ball, it doesn’t count 😅 pic.twitter.com/szXDB7rL8x

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) September 18, 2026

cal is a golf school (with an ELITE humble FAITH based lefty qb1 from ewa beach)#

https://instagr.am/p/Dde81G_PCeK
^ message to all high gpa CAL GOLF RECRUITS: along with the cardinals, the bears got more year round access to WORLD TOP 100 golf courses than any other collegiate golf program on planet earth, CONGRATS to Z on the cypress point 22 coin!!

That’s a wrap. Goodnight, Hokie Nation pic.twitter.com/EilEsYFuy2

— Virginia Tech Football (@HokiesFB) September 20, 2026

virginia tech hokies 35
maryland terrapins 26

new hokies (3-0) james franklln with a big road win at a big 10 venue, tech is not gonna be intimidated when they travel to berkeley next month

franklin brought ethan grunkemeyer from state college to blacksburg, tonite the hokies qb1 completed 31 of 39 passes for 314 with no picks (but then again he hasn't faced grand theft larceny TAKER kingston lopa)

.@e_grunkemeyer ➡️ @reynolds12_luke#LetsGoHokies | Live on @FS1 pic.twitter.com/hbIruXCpMH

— Virginia Tech Football (@HokiesFB) September 20, 2026

the hokies pass d is nothing special, the terrapins exploited them in the vertical passing game for 359 yards

https://instagr.am/p/C0kXT3fvA9u
louisville cardinals 41
smu mustangs 31

as we learned on a cold chilly nite at memorial stadium last season, the ponies (2-1) d is not that great for a nationally ranked team (louisville with 265 yards on the ground!!)

a birthday TD for @keyjuanbrown2 🥳

Watch on ESPN2#GoCards pic.twitter.com/n2YhDwvnil

— Louisville Football (@LouisvilleFB) September 19, 2026

fyi them bears defeated both the cards & the mustangs last season, got it??

https://instagr.am/p/DVPVFtADxig

.@uclatheden is loving it 🗣️ pic.twitter.com/QL7Nl9IYCw

— UCLA Football (@UCLAFootball) September 20, 2026

^ massive UPTICK in ucla student attendance at the rose bowl with this week's inclusive announcement that all westwood students now got FREE tixs to all football & hoops games!!...meanwhile in berkeley the marketing "gurus" will tell u that the student section wuz SOLD OUT despite 40,000+ EMPTY seats today at memorial stadium while berkeley's innovative chancellor just looks the other way (if that makes sense to u plz explain)

ucla bruins 52
purdue boilermakers 38

serious question: how does the ucla (3-0) o-line which returns only 1 starter rush for 361 yards against a big 10 opponent with ginormous MASSIVE HOLES while cal returns 4 starters yet ELITE rb1 adam mohammed has to earn every yard breaking tackles (can't think of a significant gap created by o-line BLOCKING in the first 3 games)??

yeah shocky tole dajohn today that he fully expects him to compete for a starting role during spring ball

https://instagr.am/p/Db6V-hxB1Te
clemson update:

clemson got a very short practice week, after yesterday's physical/emotional victory over north carolina the tigers are practicing today, monday & tuesday before flying 3000 miles to the left coast on wednesday for friday's game...the majority of dabo's roster is from the deep south & never flown across the country to play a football game (it's the monster's understanding that team vomit bags will be issued to everybody on the flite & that seniors will have 1st priority to the plane's undersized bathrooms for explosive bowel movements!!)

the tigers opening game qb1 christopher vizzina had fluid drained from his elbow last tuesday which means freshman tait reynolds will be the qb1 again this friday in a big time collegiate atmosphere at an ELECTRIC memorial stadium...oski even tole me that while he/she/it wuz on friendly terms with the seahawk that he's gonna "seriously **** up" the tiger friday nite and "that blood will spill and if they wanna fight you'd better let them now that the nites are getting shorter"...wowza!!

The collab we needed pic.twitter.com/lTzwIwolZ0

— Ben Ross (@BenRossTweets) September 19, 2026

coach hutch (in conjunction with coach lup) needs to scheme/dial up the predators of war violent BLITZ packages against the inexperienced qb1, the bears will 100% lose this game if they run the same vanilla d packages that they did against ucla (the bears outside linebackers/defensive ends need help in forcing the young signal caller into bad ******* decision making kinda like coked up cbyf2s at an ibiza nightclub at 3:00 am or something)

yeah kingston lopa is lurking in the bushes waiting for the kill!!

https://instagr.am/p/DJCCCf_K6lL
let's ******* go!!#

2026 asheville tournament: 4th round

https://instagr.am/p/Ddc1zHdMFD0
^ sihao (nice cape kidnappers shirt, the windswept back nine playing scary azz atop 1000 foot cliffs is truly intergalactic), did u track & how many protein grams did u get today brah??

michael kim (67, tied for 24th): dr shock (not licensed to practice medicine per a recent maricopa county supreme court completely unfair ruling) is hereby proclaiming michael's game after 19 birdies & 3 eagles this week ready to roll tonite to europe in his quest to defend his 2025 dp tour victory in paris (it's a shame that callixte alzas *who also likes to work the ball right to left tole him he won't caddie for him because he's got schoolwork & **** like that)!!


^ message to the cal golf team: check out the champ's ice in his veins lengthy par putt save & ensuing dagger to the heart fist bump on the par 3 18th green!!



cal golf is an INTERNATIONAL enterprise!!#

https://instagr.am/p/B7bdckuDhlD
ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the bearinsider.com

Shockey, great to see that pitchouts are now part of our diversified running attack. Glad they got practice in against Wagner and hope to see it used effectively against Clemson.

john, realize that jordan & rolo wanna play call counter tendencies but the off to the races PITCHOUT needs to be to the far side of the field in wide open space, adam don't got enough open space to turn the edge to the short side of the field!!

calumnus said:

---

Shockey, great to see that pitchouts are now part of our diversified running attack. Glad they got practice in against Wagner and hope to see it used effectively against Clemson.

---

Now that we've put it on film and planted it in the Clemson D's minds, we should fake a slow developing pitchout to Mohammed and then have JKS launch one downfield to a streaking Hendricks. Touchdown bears!!

like ur thinking forcey, the play calling would benefit from more misdirection (which is limited by the o-line's ability to slow down the rush for an extended period of time) & jaron not telegraphing (staring down his intended receiver particular on audibles & the wide receiver screens) his passes

re: PITCHOUTS tedford used to split out an all alone nyan boateng (an inner new york city hoops legend & later a NFL wideout) to the far wide side of the field & then put him in motion back towards the line when the ball would be snapped & he would at full speed VIOLENTLY CRACKBACK BLOCK the unsuspecting edge defender blowing them up into outer space (or the bronx) which would then result in a quick pitch to javid best on the far side of the field in wide open space with ******* green grass for miles!!



the bears could do the same thing with ian strong & adam mohammed, this **** is not that complicated!!