I've read of the torment Bear fans suffer when relatives or friends are having a special event on a day when Cal plays. Today, my wife told me that some friends in New York are getting married on October 20th and we are invited. I said, "Do you have any idea what's happening on that date?". She replied, "No, and I don't care. We're going." I said, "Cal plays Stanford. I can't miss that. Don't you understand?"

What ensued was a long drawn out argument that significantly impacted me watching the Kings capture the Stanley Cup. You don't want to mess with my wife when she's angry. I'd rather take on a Grizzly deep in the forest with my only weapon being a hairbrush than engage my wife of thirty years in a fight.

I need help. Any good suggestions out there?

Go back in time 30 years .... and marry a Cal football fan

I'll be missing the UCLA game this year because I'm getting married (to a Duck). I tried to convince her that I have plenty of time to go to at least the first half, since we are getting married in Livermore, but to mo avail.

That being said, she did redeem herself when she agreed to cut the honeymoon short by a day or so me can make if back for Big Game. This will be my 30th consecutive Big Game (literally never missed one in my life), so I think she realized the significance (thankfully).

Best of luck.

:gobears:

My sister is getting married the day of the ucla game. That's bad news. What's worse is where she is getting married has no tv or Internet available. I think she did it to **** me off.

Plenty of Cal vs Furd games in the future but hopefully only one marriage for your good friends....in other words,

You're SCREWED....have fun in New York cause you ain't getting out of this one buddy...

I'm sure guys say this all the time, but this is never happening to me.
Anyway, here are some quality, tried & tested suggestions for you:

1) Fake a fight and "take a break". This worked for my brother when he decided to come with a group of us to Vegas, instead of going with his GF to her parent's anniversary party in LA.

2) "Lose" you ID and passport, though if she's really smart, or determined, she'll figure out that you can still fly without any form of identification. This also happened to my brother upon our return flight from vegas.

And if all else fails, and you're not ready for divorce, just sneak away from the wedding and head over to the Cal bar in Midtown and watch the game there. Unless the wedding isn't in the city at all, but upstate somewhere, then you should hope and pray that you're not the jinx that costs us the game.

tc3590;841899663 said:

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My sister is getting married the day of the ucla game. That's bad news. What's worse is where she is getting married has no tv or Internet available. I think she did it to **** me off.

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No internet like no computers around? Or no cell service for your smartphone? Is this a 3rd world country destination wedding? Otherwise, an Ipad should suffice. If you don't have one, you should suggest them as wedding party gifts, assuming you're in your sister's wedding. Least she could do.

mattSF3;841899660 said:

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I'll be missing the UCLA game this year because I'm getting married (to a Duck). I tried to convince her that I have plenty of time to go to at least the first half, since we are getting married in Livermore, but to mo avail.

That being said, she did redeem herself when she agreed to cut the honeymoon short by a day or so me can make if back for Big Game. This will be my 30th consecutive Big Game (literally never missed one in my life), so I think she realized the significance (thankfully).

Best of luck.

:gobears:

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Why did you agree to to get married on a saturday in the fall?

You should go to the wedding. There'll be other Big Games.

BlueAndGold;841899672 said:

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You should go to the wedding. There'll be other Big Games.

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They'll be other weddings. Besides most weddings end in divorce anyways. :p

"You've already made me miss the Kings championship game over this. Now, it's your turn to give up something. I want to be able to watch the Cal game while we're there, in some way. Live. Call your friend. Make it happen."

How happy are you, really?

A few years ago the Stanford at Cal basketball game was on Valentine's Day. That required some finesse.

The New York chapter of Cal Alumni has a pretty large gathering for Big Game. If you are in NYC find out where they are showing the game and see if you can work it in.

6bear6;841899653 said:

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I've read of the torment Bear fans suffer when relatives or friends are having a special event on a day when Cal plays. Today, my wife told me that some friends in New York are getting married on October 20th and we are invited. I said, "Do you have any idea what's happening on that date?". She replied, "No, and I don't care. We're going." I said, "Cal plays Stanford. I can't miss that. Don't you understand?"

What ensued was a long drawn out argument that significantly impacted me watching the Kings capture the Stanley Cup. You don't want to mess with my wife when she's angry. I'd rather take on a Grizzly deep in the forest with my only weapon being a hairbrush than engage my wife of thirty years in a fight.

I need help. Any good suggestions out there?

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Divorce her. Anyone who is dumb enough to schedule a wedding during football season should expect a lot of no shows and anyone who supports said football season wedding deserves a different husband. Just sayin'.

This reminds me of a hypothetical I was kicking around with friends. What one would do if your significant other's mother died and the funeral was scheduled during Cal's first trip to the Rose Bowl since the 50s.

dajo9;841899681 said:

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The New York chapter of Cal Alumni has a pretty large gathering for Big Game. If you are in NYC find out where they are showing the game and see if you can work it in.

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We'll be at the Australian on 38th St bet 5 & 6 Ave watching our beloved Bears take back the axe. I look forward to seeing you there. Have a few drinks at the reception, then sneak out and hop into a cab. Tell your wife that you had to meet a classmate that you hadn't seen in years.

Tell her she is asking you to choose between her and Cal Football. When she asks what you have decided telling her that you are thinking, thinking,thinking
Go Bears!

If you don't draw a line in the sand NOW about the fall in general and the Big Game in particular, you will be whipped for the rest of your married life. Just tell her you don't ask for much (if that is true)...and this is the only thing that matters.

This seems to come up all the time. Why can't the government just ban all weddings on Saturdays (and probably Thursdays and Fridays for good measure) during football season? They seem to want to get involved in every other part of our lives - this is a piece of legislation I would strongly support. You should call your local representative.

StillNoStanfurdium;841899685 said:

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This reminds me of a hypothetical I was kicking around with friends. What one would do if your significant other's mother died and the funeral was scheduled during Cal's first trip to the Rose Bowl since the 50s.

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don't see what the problem is.

StillNoStanfurdium;841899685 said:

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This reminds me of a hypothetical I was kicking around with friends. What one would do if your significant other's mother died and the funeral was scheduled during Cal's first trip to the Rose Bowl since the 50s.

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Seriously???? A MOTHER-IN-LAW'S fumeral???? How much a person loves (or hates) his mother in law comes into question here. Now if it was my dog ....

This topic always seems to pop up and there have been several good solutions offered so far in this thread! Knowing what a devoted Cal fan I am, both my son and daughter got married anyway on game days (vs USC in 09 and Colorado last year..remember 9/10/11 blechhh and it also co$t me bigtime!)...Anyway, you just need to cope -- get some "points" with your wife and use them later..don't moan about it. Hey, at least Cal fans tend not to be overly devoted like the Alabama fan who did not attend his own daughter's wedding, and another one who put off his own heart transplant so he could "Roll Tide" without "missing a beat!"

6bear6;841899653 said:

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I've read of the torment Bear fans suffer when relatives or friends are having a special event on a day when Cal plays. Today, my wife told me that some friends in New York are getting married on October 20th and we are invited. I said, "Do you have any idea what's happening on that date?". She replied, "No, and I don't care. We're going." I said, "Cal plays Stanford. I can't miss that. Don't you understand?"

What ensued was a long drawn out argument that significantly impacted me watching the Kings capture the Stanley Cup. You don't want to mess with my wife when she's angry. I'd rather take on a Grizzly deep in the forest with my only weapon being a hairbrush than engage my wife of thirty years in a fight.

I need help. Any good suggestions out there?

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I had a problem like way back when my wife and I were first married.
I explained to her the importance of the Big Game. I told her that if it were any other Cal game I would be willing to miss it. But my loyalty to Cal was second only to my loyalty to her. That if I could be constant in my love of Cal I would be even more constant in my love of her.
This appeal to her emotions won her over. I went to the BG (Cal lost) and I had to be very generous with her gifts at Christmas and on her birthday.

StillNoStanfurdium;841899685 said:

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This reminds me of a hypothetical I was kicking around with friends. What one would do if your significant other's mother died and the funeral was scheduled during Cal's first trip to the Rose Bowl since the 50s.

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Brutal hypo, but memorial service no question. Unless she was already done with mom or you're ready to be done with her. In fact unless "it was mom's time" you wouldn't even notice there was a game that day, trust me on that one. Nothing worse than watching her go through that except a child I would guess.

6bear6;841899653 said:

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I've read of the torment Bear fans suffer when relatives or friends are having a special event on a day when Cal plays. Today, my wife told me that some friends in New York are getting married on October 20th and we are invited. I said, "Do you have any idea what's happening on that date?". She replied, "No, and I don't care. We're going." I said, "Cal plays Stanford. I can't miss that. Don't you understand?"

What ensued was a long drawn out argument that significantly impacted me watching the Kings capture the Stanley Cup. You don't want to mess with my wife when she's angry. I'd rather take on a Grizzly deep in the forest with my only weapon being a hairbrush than engage my wife of thirty years in a fight.

I need help. Any good suggestions out there?

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Misery loves company 6bear6. I have it a bit worse than you because my wife's sister is getting married on October 20th and we're both in the wedding. Thus, apparently, we HAVE to go. To make matters worse, a good friend of hers is getting married on November 10th (the Oregon game) and apparently we have to go to that as well.

First off - who are these people that get married during football season? I have a standing proclamation with all of my friends. If you are doing anything important during football season do not expect me to attend - Cal Football is more important than you. That rule, however, does not seem to apply to my wife's family or friends. Complete cr@p.

As you can tell, I have not yet made peace with the fact that I'll be missing Big Game for the first time in 15 years.

I'm sorry but "friends in New York" getting married does not justify pulling a Cal fan and/or season ticket holder from missing Big Game. I missed the '95 game for my own marriage, but used that leverage to get a verbal contract that I would never miss another one. Time for a similar contract for you.

I would also add that your commitment came first. If they are requesting that you be "in" the wedding, I think you are out of luck (as were 3 of my groomsmen that were Cal grads). But if their attachment to you does not qualify for participation in the wedding, then your absence is not going to be that tragic. Your wife will have a good time, and probably a better time without you being bitter about missing the one football game a year that is a "NEVER miss" event. Look, I just turned this into a "win-win"!!! Throw in a spa treatment for her that weekend, or just before she leaves. That usually scores big points in my marriage.

Your description of the initial conversation does not bode well for you. She is not in the same camp with you or she would have said "we have a dilemma, the Big Game is on the same day as our friends' wedding in NY and we are invited. How can we miss the Big Game????" Rather is her mind the airline tickets were purchased, wardrobe being considered, and which hotel is best.
From a 70+ year old Mama Bear--you are screwed. I would take a hit on this Big Game, an bank the good will. Go to NYC, get the score when you can. Dance with her at the reception. Never, ever, let this happen again. Tell her (after the trip) this is one and done!

That sucks. I already made it clear to my girlfriend that situations like this are to be avoided. I'll do anything for her so long as it is not on a Cal football saturday.

All great suggestions.

More background. My real disappointment is not being in CMS to watch the game. The wedding will probably take place in East Hampton, where the couple lives. So, getting together with fellow Bears in NYC is not in the cards. The best I could hope for is a great big plasma TV. These guys, they are gay, ("not there is anything wrong with that...")have been together for about 20 years and they are very good friends of my wife. I like them too. Really good guys.

I think I'm going to see how the season is progressing. If we win a few games where we're the underdog, I'm staying home. If it's going to be 7-5, I'm flying to NY.

If I run into any of you at CMS before October 20 and you meet my wife, please put in a good word for me and ask how she can possibly suggest I miss the Big Game. I need all the help I can get.

Go to the wedding, that's about life and things that matter. This is just football.

6bear6;841899653 said:

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.... You don't want to mess with my wife when she's angry. I'd rather take on a Grizzly deep in the forest with my only weapon being a hairbrush than engage my wife of thirty years in a fight.

I need help. Any good suggestions out there?

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Your wife knows your screen name and has read your post. I don't think you will be getting any for a while. My suggestion: You should reacquaint yourself with your good friend, Mr. Hand.

I told my wife 4 year ago that we couldn't get married in the fall or the spring (CFA) so she only had winter and summer to work with. Got married in August.

This year we signed up for ESP. At those prices, I think only my daughter in the hospital with a life threatening condition is grounds to miss a game.

I did miss last year's USC game because my daughter decided she wanted to be born three weeks early. I guess I owe her one for that though.

calgldnbear;841899696 said:

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Seriously???? A MOTHER-IN-LAW'S fumeral???? How much a person loves (or hates) his mother in law comes into question here. Now if it was my dog ....

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Add a day or two extra of embalming fluid?

A few years ago I attended a wedding that conflicted with an important Cal football game in Arizona that everyone on this board assured me Cal would win by 50. Turns out Cal missed a field goal or stepped out of bounds or something and I am glad I missed the game.

Now, if you were missing the game for a job interview I would point out that I missed seeing The Play in person for a job interview in MILWAUKEE!

I almost got married on a Saturday in Fall, nearly 16 years ago. We moved our date to the Spring, thank goodness.