SBGold said:
Spamming was not enough,
Waitress: (T.J.) Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings: (starting to chant) Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings: (singing) Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam
Wife: (G.C.) Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: (singing) Spam spam spam spam...
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ... spam, spam, spam, spam ... lovely spam, wonderful spam ...
Brief stock shot of a Viking ship.
Waitress: (over Vikings) Shut up!
Vikings: (still singing) Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife: Why not?
Waitress: It wouldn't be egg, bacon, spam and sausage, would it.
Wife: (shrieks) I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings: (singing) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! (Vikings stop) Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (the Vikings start singing and drown her words)
Man: Yes.
Waitress: Urgghh!
Vikings: .. . lovely spam, wonderful, spam.
Waitress: Shut up! Shut up!
The Vikings shut up momentarily. Enter the Hungarian from the phrasebook sketch.
Hungarian: (J.C.) Great boobies, honeybun, my lower intestine is full of spam, egg, spam, bacon, spam, tomato, spam ...
Vikings: (starting up again) Spam, spam, spam, spam ...
Waitress: Shut up
A policeman rushes in and bundles the Hungarian out.
Hungarian: My n@ipples explode...
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