Quote:

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https://www.si.com/college/stanford/football/acc-expansion-making-dallas-the-neutral-site-for-stanford-and-other-new-teams

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non revenue sports might be centralized in dallas, that's not gonna happen in either football or basketball

don't be a dumb azz#

https://instagr.am/p/Cejm1enrW9Q
cal's monster class acc introductions: part xi

school: syracuse

mascot: otto the orange

stadium: jwa wireless dome stadium (49,057 capacity)

2023 forbes academic ranking: #100
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

fun fact: shocky finished a bucket list goal of sitting (not really) courtside at madison square garden as his cal's monster class recruited bears knocked off them nationally ranked syracuse orangemen in an espn nationally broadcast east coast/west coast battle...a couple of syracuse black rock bros of wall street with the slicked back hair/preppy wireframe glasses asked me repeatedly to sit the **** down to which the monster tole them this is an athletic event, not a mergers & acquisitions venture capital meeting with comfy chairs & views of the manhattan skyline...they thought their jimmy boheim recruited future nba draft choices wuz gonna destroy them bears, they wuz wrong...check out shocky at the 10 second mark (my boy sammy singer is dribbling the ball across midcourt) in the blue cap walking out on the floor of the garden & clapping as the final seconds of an epic victory crystalized in the memories of those who bleed blue & gold...yeah sit the **** down, shocky



best gameday golf: oak hill (east)



shocky's favorite syracuse grads: lou reed & new yorker cartoonist robert mankoff

So nice @Maxhoma won it twice! ✅ pic.twitter.com/FIe2NUKaKo

— FortinetChampionship (@FortinetChamp) September 6, 2023

next week in yountville next door to shocky's t-rex yoga studio#

the worst interview in the history of college football with brian driscoll, not a single question re: how or why his attitude moved from la jolla to national city

can u believe this ****?

cal's monster offensive line (is profoundly complex with mystery shrouded in intrigue, canned questions es no bueno)#

https://instagr.am/p/Cws1KTZOx9T
cal's monster class acc introductions: part xii

school: clemson

mascot: the tiger

stadium: memorial stadium ("death valley," 81,500 capacity)

2023 forbes academic ranking: #76
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

fun fact: this is gonna be a rival game, clemson prez dr james p clements wuz not in favor of the acc extending invitations to calford & smu...but jimmy is in favor of racism (as long as its subtle) & familial inbreeding in the deep south

best gameday golf: yeaman's hall



shocky's favorite south carolinian: miss south carolina lauren katlin (ironically her kitty's nickname is "maps")

That's Mrs. Kyle Boller.

bluehen, ur rite, there is definitely a resemblance for sure between lauren & carrie

but make no mistake about it, shocky's favorite beauty pageant contestant is miss utah



marissa is 100% on the money, "we need to create edukation better" at the #1 ranked public university in the world

https://instagr.am/p/BqvJlv9ngkg
marissa for berkeley chancellor (let's go)#

https://instagr.am/p/CwszgYVuPC3
^^89, we should all do the things we luv to do in life like dancing in the dark for free

the dangers of getting paid (i.e. nil money) is that monetizing the things that you love can ultimately destroy your passions...charging/accepting money for **** you love to do is just wrong (for me)

i've been offered a deal to write a book with funny stories about playing the world's top 100 golf courses but that would cheapen the memories of a lifetime

shocky got zero interest in professional sports teams & that includes the nfl, nba, mlb & nascar drag racing thru the canyon (imo most guys under 30 are really just interested in their sports book betting wagers, not the game itself), the only pro sports team event i've actually attended in its entirety during the last decade wuz the 2023 super bowl in phx & the outcome wuz absolutely meaningless to me

if the california legislature ever votes to classify student athletes as employees ima done with college sports & every stanford grad in my circle feels that way too...pga golf with homakawa will be my sole sports fandom obsession then

but 89 ima gonna charge u 5 bucks for reading this post, ok?...just leave the money in a blue n gold envelope addressed to the monster at the 3rd exit on treasure island off the bay bridge at 3:00 am tonite...golf balls aren't free, amigo

Shocky1 said:

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unfortunately usc & ucla are never gonna schedule us again in football in our lifetimes, west coast rivalries other than the big game are gone for good for financial biz reasons...someone left that cake out in the rain & we'll never have that recipe again...and after all the loves of my life you'll still be the one

october 28th=the oppenheimer game at memorial stadium

https://instagr.am/p/CwNtqagRjoE

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cal's 2024 & 2025 football schedules:

the acc plays 8 conference games each season with 3 protected rivalry games each season...stanford & smu (which is huge for cal football recruiting visibility in texas) are 100% locks to be protected rivalry games with a rotation of either a home or away game each season...the 3rd protected acc rivalry program is still in discussions with the acc comish

there's gonna be 4 out of conference games each season, there are signed contracts for the following games

2024 season:
8/31/24 uc davis at memorial stadium
9/7/24 at auburn (epic road gameday experience)
9/14/24 san diego state at memorial stadium
a cupcake (no return road game contractual requirement) or low mid major game (ideally against a texas school) at memorial stadium will be scheduled for 9/21/24

2025 season:
8/30/25 unlv at memorial stadium
9/13/25 minnesota at memorial stadium
9/20/25 at san diego state
a cupcake game (no return road game contractual requirement) at memorial stadium will be scheduled for 9/6/25

so once again future games against former pac 12 opponents are extremely unlikely to ever get scheduled unless you believe in the easter bunny

and there's ZERO ******* chance the bears & trojans are ever gonna play a football game in our lifetimes, got it?

do u got ur tix(s) for the oppenheimer game on october 28th???...memorial stadium is gonna be atomic



theory can only take us so far (shocky is gonna tell you the truth at the #1 ranked public university in the world)#

https://instagr.am/p/CuRsCI5s2CG
cal's monster class acc introductions: part xiii

school: notre dame

mascot: leprechaun

stadium: notre dame stadium (77,622 capacity)

2023 forbes academic ranking: #38
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

fun fact: calford's invitation to the acc is a direct result of notre dame athletic director jack swarbrick relentlessly lobbying on our behalf with every athletic director in the acc...reality is that the current athletic director in berkeley got no relationships outside of the colorado spring senior all star hockey league...every california golden bear owes a debt of gratitude to mr swarbrick

best gameday golf: notre dame warren course (coore & crenshaw design), lost dunes, the dunes club (arguably the best 9 hole course along with morfontaine's valliere 9 holes in paris on planet earth)

https://instagr.am/p/CsgtujJPYvl
shocky's favorite notre dame grad: mark lampert, prez of g2c2 (global golf centurion club, for those us that have played the world's top 100 golf courses)

Shocky1 said:

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San Francisco (Calif.) Archbishop Riordan 2026 quarterback Michael Mitchell Jr. made another stop to nearby Cal and talked about his time in Berkeley https://t.co/u17Uzb64oP pic.twitter.com/lNlU7YHp6F

— Brandon Huffman (@BrandonHuffman) March 14, 2023

who is gonna be the next kylar murray in college football?

that would be 5'9" 166 lbs 2026 elite quarterback michael mitchell jr from archbishop riordan in san francisco who balled out yesterday at cal's bay area showcase at memorial stadium & also attended the 2023 spring game

mitchell's game film as a high school freshman is unreal

Freshman Year Varsity Hudl Highlights - Thankful for my coaches & teammates.@CoachAdhir @CoachJPollak @CoachDanny10 @KTPrepElite @BrandonHuffman
Full Highlight https://t.co/vRTQCOgJ79 pic.twitter.com/Ha6jkUoHrJ

— Michael Mitchell Jr. (@MikeMitche11Jr) November 22, 2022

michael is not a dumb azz, he got a 4.0 gpa at academically rigorous riordan which is not surprising cuz his moms is a berkeley grad who loves her bears & would prefer he stay home for the quick trip across the bay bridge on fall gamedays but also wants him to make his own collegiate decision...and he got offers nationwide from a lotta of the nation's powerhouses already including an actionable offer from coach spav

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those who wanna build generational wealth thru nfl development with coach spav & also intellectual capitalism in the classrooms)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

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cal's monster class unofficial visitor update:

4.00 gpa michael mitchell jr is gonna be on the sidelines this saturday nite for the epic showdown with $ec auburn, check out michael's electric 1st game of his sophomore season highlights

hometown hero (and a huge priority for the cal football program)#

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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“How they turn a top dog to an underdog?” Off season Hill work goin up 🤞🏽 @PGregorian @CoachTTMP @ttherzog @adamgorney @GregBiggins @SacBee_JoeD pic.twitter.com/BDM8HcqCkn

— Carter Jackson (@cj_jacks2215) May 25, 2023

yeah the underdog with an unbreakable work ethic is the most dangerous person on planet earth

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that want to pursue generational wealth thru nfl development on the field & intellectual capitalism in the classroom)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Shocky , I agree about USC never scheduling us again. However, I think there's a semi-decent chance UCLA would agree to a home-and-home series with us sometime in the next 5 to 10 years after the dust settles a bit.

If Cal can improves its results and football reputation a bit, I think UCLA might find it advantageous to schedule us as their tier 1 or, more likely, tier 1A nonconference game.

It would keep their travel distances and costs down, it wouldn't hurt them to have a presence in the Bay Area for recruiting, and they would probably view us as a winnable game. Hopefully we'd have a decent national reputation by then. Attendance should be pretty good given pent-up fan demand after a long absence and also a desire for UC bragging rights.

Hopefully our on-field performance in the next few years justifies this kind of thinking.

Even though I'm pissed at UCLA (my second alma mater) right now, I will want the chance to pound them in a few years. I'd love to stick it to Chip Kelly's smug, J-Mike-stealing face.

^^ agreed oso, right now michael has shown the most interest (along with cal) in virginia tech with 2 unofficial visits including the hokies game last weekend...it's fun to be recruited & see some of the world but at some point he's gonna figure out why there's only 2 players on their roster who are from the western half of the united states, ok?

moms matter at the #1 ranked public university in the world (shocky is a mama's boy too)#

^^ zony, fun meeting u & su familia in denton, going on a bears family roadtrip is just good parenting...ur son gotta lotta energy

there's just no upside for the ucla football program in scheduling cal, football scheduling is not about the fans anymore for the most part but yeah it would be fun to play the bruins again but this year's november 25th pac 12 season finale showdown at the rose bowl will probably be the end of the uc football rivalry for our lifetimes

mark my words if the bears win shocky is gonna ******* storm the field at the rose bowl...wut's the pac 2 skeletal staff home office gonna do, fine me and/or the athletic dept?

melrose place (my favorite la jeans store rag n bone is opening their 1st arizona store at the q in north scottsdale across from lulu lemon in a minute)#

Shocky1 said:

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north carolina blues:

the following is a loosely edited transcript of my conversations at around 6:30 pm in the locker room at quail hollow back in the day after my world rankings golf course evaluation which was arranged by fellow g2c2 (global golf centurion club, membership rules require the completion of at least 1 world top 100 golf magazine list, the shockster has played the last 17 world lists) member adam (who is a golf professional)

shocky: (standing at the sink trying to scrub the bunker sand outta his eyes from the 18th hole)

random dude: you ok?

shocky: your club's sand is terrific, same bright white silicone stuff as augusta, but it's a pain in the azz when it gets in your eyes, everything is kinda blurry or something

random dude: (who is tying a light blue tie with a glistening white starched shirt) sorry to hear that, are you the rater that's visiting today to see if we're a world top 100 golf course?...are we that good?

shocky: yeah, that's me, fun day today, your definitely a usa top 100 golf course...ima shocky (extending a fist bump)

random dude: nice to meet you, i'm roy...so how do you rate these world top 100 golf courses?...at my old job i used to get invited out to prairie dunes all the time

shocky: prairie dunes is an amazing links golfing experience, easily the best course in kansas and in my world top 25 rankings...hey, do you wanna join me and adam for a quick drink?

random dude: would love to talk about golf course architecture with you guys, that's my new hobby, but i got to go this work function at 7:00 pm

shocky: (thinking it's some boring azz corporate function with rubber chicken) can't you just show up late?

random dude: not really, i'm sort of the featured speaker

shocky: (feeling sorry for this guy) well, good luck then, at least you got to play golf this afternoon

random dude: yeah work is work, please tell adam to shoot me a text regarding when he can give me another lesson, thanks

adam: (as shocks walks over to him in the locker room) do you know who just insulted with your work thing stuff?

shocky: i dunno, somebody who wants a lesson with you?

adam: (shaking his head & laughing) guess what dumb azz, that's roy williams

shocky: (hustling back to the sink area) hey roy, didn't mean to hassle you

roy: (kinda laughing) that's ok, you would be a tenacious assistant coach with that attitude

shocky: well, now that you mention it, i'm the director of recruiting for the cal basketball program and the co author of cal's monster class with its several million views which is the most read thread in the history of college basketball...did you know we are currently in major battles with you for three mcdonald all americans?

roy: (with a kinda smirk and perhaps a glimpse of recognition) really, and what three prospects are you referring to?

shocky: ivan rabb, jaylen brown and caleb swanigan...i've branded these recruitments as cal's diamonds are forever class.. do you know anything about these guys or do you just delegate recruiting to your assistant coaches?

roy: (tight smile but perhaps with a bit of annoyance) do you got a minute or two?

shocky: sure

roy: ok, walk with me to valet then, i gotta speak across town in thirty minutes, this is just between us, ok?

and then as we walk thru the clubhouse to the valet area by the front door roy williams lectures me for 5 minutes non stop breaking down the skillsets of ivan rabb, jaylen brown and caleb swanigan

his detailed knowledge is mind boggling, he tells me that ivan rabb (at that moment the #1 ranked player in the nation) is the most innate rebounder he's seen in years and very unselfish with the ball but that he's concerned about his unusual gait (note: ivan retired from the nba because of plantar fasciitis)...jaylen brown (ranked #5 in the class) is a future nba all star but will struggle in college with sharing the ball & 3 point shooting...caleb swanigan (ranked #12 in the class) could be a nba first rounder if he can successfully core out his body, his guardian roosevelt barnes is very involved in his recruitment (caleb, rip, was a cal silent commit but barnes refused to sign the letter of intent which resulted in him signing with purdue)

finally william's silver lexus suv shows up at the valet circle and roy looks me in the eyes & tells me with a little wink "nice meeting you, shocky, good luck in out recruiting me"

shocky is not a dumb azz, he knows what just happened...unlike the current cal basketball coach, roy williams is the featured speaker at dozens of fans/donor events throughout north carolina every year & its kinda hard to come up with fresh new intro speeches, he can't wait to get to his dinner in 30 minutes and tell everybody how he just met this crazy as **** berkeley guy who thinks they are going to out recruit the fabled north carolina program that's won multiple national championships, the crowd is gonna love it & howl with laughter

well guess what?...the shockster got commitment from all 3 of these mcdonald all americans & signed 2 of them

it's seem almost surreal that 6 years ago cal was near the pinnacle of college basketball in excitement & recruiting, what the **** happened?



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world (including north carolina & more specifically chapel hill)

---

https://instagr.am/p/CpV3TFPul8M
cal's monster class acc introductions: part xiv

school: north carolina

mascot: rameses

stadium: kenan memorial stadium (50,500 capacity)

2023 forbes academic ranking: #32
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

fun fact: after the bears exciting malik mcmorris inspired ("the catch") triumph in chapel hill, slim wadie & shocky are running to our rental car (we played 9 holes as 1st out at tobacco road early in the morning & now we're gonna play the back nine before sunset) when an obviously inebriated 6'6" 295 lbs tar heel fan stops me near the parking structure and asks me "are you proud of your coach cheating to win the ******* game?"

standing next to this mountain man is his petite & obviously mortified blonde wife & their two 8 year boys with north carolina gear

slim wadie gives me a sideeye & let's me know "schulzie, be real careful how you answer this question"

and so i tell the fan (who later tells me he played offensive line for the tar heels back in the day) that no, closing the game out by intentionally holding the wide receivers causing the game clock to expire (the ncca has since changed the rules for this scenario) wuz not ideal but that we pay our head coach a lotta money to be creative & win football games...asked him "do you think it's ethical that roy williams tells his players to intentionally foul the duke player on the floor with the worst free throwing shooting percentage during crunch time?"

mountain man nods & says that's a good point, we talk a little bit more before fist bumping goodbye...his wife surreptitiously mouths a "thank you" to me, she's seen this movie before

best gameday golf (gotta get the 1st tee time): wade hampton



shocky's least favorite north carolina employees: mack brown & the dumb azz women's soccer coach

Wow, cool. I live right down the street from Riordan. I started taking the kids to Riordan basketball games last season, and they also played in a flag football league there. We went to one Riordan football game (but at SI), and SI blew them out badly. This dude clearly was not playing for Riordan that night.

I can't wait to go check them out.

cal's monster class acc introductions: part xv

school: miami

mascot: sebastian the ibis

stadium: hard rock stadium (64,767 capacity)

2023 forbes academic ranking: #120
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

fun fact: this is gonna be the most fun acc roadtrip for left coast fans...someday shocky is gonna be a food runner at sexy fish miami but probably lose his job when he ask them curvy brunette yoga females if they wanna touch his azz or something, then he will become a bitter unemployable (can't do a handstand) substitute yoga teacher that lives in biscayne bay where nando & the cuban gentlemen sleep all day...yeah shay's dad is still upset she enrolled at denver law instead of her dad's preference of miami law, how disloyal

https://instagr.am/p/Cwk9BoyK6gW
best gameday golf: seminole



shocky's favorite miami grads: almost every sales clerk at the bal harbour shops

nothing to lose (left for dead, zero ******* pressure)#

yeah shocky is crazy about the san francisco bay area & stinson beach (clothes r for losers)

wheels up (back to the bay, afternoon tee time with slim wadie in the city)#

Shocky1 said:

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yeah shocky is crazy about the san francisco bay area & stinson beach (clothes r for losers)

wheels up (back to the bay, afternoon tee time with slim wadie in the city)#

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Where you playing in SF?

Cal what’s the move tmr? #unoficialvisit @BenjiPalu_Cal @MikeBloesch @CalFootball pic.twitter.com/hbktN3o5qt

— PETER LANGI (@PETERLANGI50) September 8, 2023

82, ur not gonna believe this but the monster got some enemies here that could try to mess up my visitor tee time with slim wadie so my course evaluation update will be later tonite

golden gate golf & yacht club (clothing optional at the pool, got shrimp sourdough sandwiches in the men's grill)#

https://instagr.am/p/Cs43nM5sz2u
cal's monster class acc introductions: part xvi

school: smu

mascot: peruna

stadium: gerald j ford stadium (32,000 capacity)

2023 forbes academic ranking: #169
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

fun fact: acc expansion would probably not have happened if not for george bush lobbying acc prezs on behalf of smu (and thus in an indirect way calford)

so back in the mike montgomery era as the director of recruiting ima sitting at the end of the cal bench next to jay john...across from us is george & barbara bush sitting next to the dallas cowboys starting quarterback & head coach

as halftime starts i tell jay ima gonna go say howdy to the hosts across the way, jj just gives mr crazy town a smirky smile telling me good luck with that ****

the monster gets almost half way across the court before he's surrounded by 5 service service guys in dark suits & earpieces asking me wut's up?...yeah shocky never got to do the hang with 43

best gameday golf: trinity forest

https://instagr.am/p/BGF3Gj_IO_K
shocky's favorite smu grad (honorary, actually got a diploma from yale): george bush

Shocky1 said:

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82, ur not gonna believe this but the monster got some enemies here that could try to mess up my visitor tee time with slim wadie so my course evaluation update will be later tonite

golden gate golf & yacht club (clothing optional at the pool, got shrimp sourdough sandwiches in the men's grill)#

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I'm going to play Lincoln Park at the end of the month. My one round per year, my childhood course. I've played many of the great courses in CA and I've played 1000 rounds at Lincoln but if I'm dying tomorrow I'm playing Lincoln today. I'm pretty sure you're not playing there but I suggest you play there and all the publics in SF. Trevino called McLaren Park (now Gleneagles) the toughest nine hole course in the country, and not just because it is surrounded by projects and kids will steal your golf balls. Have a great round today.

82, i luv lincoln park but am under the impression it's currently closed for renovations, the views of the golden age bridge from the iconic par 3 17th hole are some of the most dramatic in san francisco...fyi in an average year the monster plays as many rounds on public courses as private courses, he's not a country club snob, ok?...and yeah gleneagles got some really challenging holes

https://instagr.am/p/CtK-5X3Pamu
after a ravenous scrumptious lunch at scoma's at fisherman's wharf (conversed with a lotta friendly auburn fans visiting for tomorrow's game), me & slim wadie played a late afternoon round thru the rolling san francisco fog at the recently gil hanse renovated lake merced...after years of architectural garbage time by the trent jones family, gil has faithfully brought back the flashy beautiful bunkering of alistar mackenzie in what is a fun golfing experience with firm & fast conditioning/tight turf with several strategically multiple option short par 4s & a world class collection of par 3s...the club would better improve the course's aesthetics by planting trees on the perimeter of the kinda ugly azz surrounding neighborhood

shocky's san francisco rankings:

1) san francisco golf club: shocky's old caddie grounds back in the stinson beach high school & berkeley days, this tillinghast masterpiece (faithfully restored by tom doak) is in my world top 50 rankings

2) california golf club: usa top 100 course tho the back & forth parallel hole routing on the back nine is sub optimal

3) olympic lake: long overrated in my book the us open venue is currently closed for gil hanse restoration work, can't wait to see to see if the future reopening brings a greater element of fun to this relentless torturous final examination

4) harding park: home to colin morikawa's most famous shot on the drivable short par 16th hole

5) lake merced: see above

6) olympic ocean: more facelifts than an aging hollywood starlet, should just accept getting old as part of life's adventure & get on with it

7) presidio: never an even lie, a walk on the wild side

8) lincoln park: luv the collection of short par 4s & the 17th hole is worth the price of admission

https://instagr.am/p/Cw9E6oArla4
this **** is gonna be lit tomorrow nite at 7:30 pm at memorial stadium (r u gonna be there or not?)#

After a careful consideration and a lot of great conversations/visits, I would like to publicly announce my commitment to THE UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA!!!!! #BearDown 🐻⬇️@brennanpcarroll @CoachJeddFisch @ArizonaFBall@BrandonHuffman pic.twitter.com/jPEAiti75H

— Justin Hylkema (@justinhylkema) June 23, 2023

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

2024 6'8" 315 lbs offensive tackle & current arizona commit justin hylkema from wilcox high school in santa clara
is gonna be an unofficial visitor tomorrow nite at memorial stadium for the epic acc vs $ec battle

justin is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.78 gpa which is kinda unusual for the arizona wildcats program which usually signs high school recruits with 2.5+ gpas who make collegiate decisions based upon pool parties in jedd's catalina foothills backyard or something

hylkema at the time of his signing did not have an actionable offer from the cal staff, will be very interesting to see if this potential recruitment takes off in the near future

just so no to big 12 truck stop academics in (unless ur life goal is to work in security at the tuscon mall when ur 30)#