cal's monster offensive line

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Rushinbear
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/CiS7c0WJln5
rushin, bastian swinney from interlachen high school gotta lotta upside but he's gotta be healthy, hopefully he's gonna compete for a starting job this spring

https://instagr.am/p/BoJseINlLpG
the university of california, berkeley=the #1 ranked public university in the world (including the land of 10,076 lakes & **** like that)
Was afraid of that. Hopefully, it's not chronic.
Shocky1
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official visitor this weekend#
Shocky1
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official visitor this week#
Goobear
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Some good guys Shocky.
Shocky1
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SBGold said:


Gutty little Bruins fans did not do well there
goldy, there r a lotta angry people on planet earth that would benefit from a yoga/meditation practice
eastcoastcal
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Any idea if the staff has identified some monsters in the portal that can be put on the OL?
Shocky1
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Goobear said:

Some good guys Shocky.
100% agreed, do u and/or ur son got any thoughts on the upcoming winter s&c conditioning/nutrition as it relates to cal's monster offensive line?
https://instagr.am/p/BZrTU3Oje4v
Shocky1
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eastcoastcal said:

Any idea if the staff has identified some monsters in the portal that can be put on the OL?
ec, work in process
NVBear78
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Rushinbear said:

Shocky1 said:

rushin, we're actually down 3 running backs of which 2 of them damien moore & chris street are departing berkeley without degrees which is really sad cuz neither one of them got the speed that is necessary to get paid in the national football league...with the bears not on the schedule hoping cal grad decarlos brooks runs wild on mill avenue with its tempe 12 showstoppers this season

there's only 1 football, 6 is no longer the right number, maybe it wuz back in the day where u waited ur turn patiently until ur number wuz called but these days elite running back talent wanna be showcased for the nfl, 4 is the rite number now (more than 4 is just gonna result in a lotta unhappy backups) with ideally 1 of those 4 a blue shirting freshman with 3 electric backs like jaydn ott, ashton hayes & ashton stredick (will be coaching malpractice if he is not awarded a 2023 football scholly after this spring) knowing they gonna get snaps & touches every game

the days of stockpiling scholly running backs r over

gimme the ball, u got action (gimme the goods, half the action, u get the chance to getaway, for me it's too late)#



Agree on all accounts, assuming a healthy rb room. It's the position most prone to injury, I think.


Stanfurd ran out of RB's this year but I think they started with only two guys with talent. Somebody correct me if I am wrong...
Goobear
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100% agreed, do u and/or ur son got any thoughts on the upcoming winter s&c conditioning/nutrition as it relates to cal's monster offensive line?

No clue. My son thinks Bloesch is the real deal just like Spav. There will be a lot of film watching and learning a new playbook.
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


official visitor this weekend#

tunmise adeleye paired with a healthy brett johnson would form arguably the most disruptive defensive front in the nation with the x man & myles jernigan working as apex predator edge defenders with the pac 12's top tackler jackson sirmon keeping the eye of the hurricane under control in the middle of the field while the defensive backs led by field general lu magia hearns in concert with the 2 new experienced lockdown corners patriot missile any aerial attacks upon them california golden bears

yeah oski & william cuthbert faulkner r not dumb azzs

#1 targeted prospect on the big board#
Shocky1
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scholly roster math update:

portlandia outside linebacker patrick histake is gonna join damien moore & chris street in departing berkeley without a degree that is literally worth millions of dollars over a lifetime because they think they got a chance to get paid in the national football league & that won't happen here because they're buried on the depth chart...that don't make a lot of sense (or dollars) in a 50 year financial math calculation, sorry wall street isn't interviewing portland state graduates

right now the bears got the following announced scholly departures:

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement
patrick histake, outside linebacker-portal
orin patu, edge defender...portal
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla
trey paster, linebacker...portal
ben coleman, guard...portal
keleki latu, tight end...portal
chris street, running back...portal
damien moore, running back...portal
decarlos brooks, running back...portal to asu
slater zellers, longsnapper...portal to asu
dario longhetto, kicker...portal

so that's 15 accounted for departures & there are still 3 buried on the depth chart inside linebackers that are finishing their degrees after 4 years in berkeley that yet to make public announcements re: their future plans

yeah scholly math is fun (and it's probably gonna change in 5 minutes from right now)
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

6'5" 310 lbs center ben scott is a 3 year starter at center & right tackle in tempe who is a product of famed st louis high school in honolulu

ben is not a dumb azz, he is a grad transfer with a degree in biological sciences (biomedical) & got 2 years of eligiblity

aloha baby

the university of california, berkeley=#2 ranked university in the united states (including diamond head)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

forks up (at modern yoga)#
check out #66 ben scott knocking a trojan into the turf & then wwe flopping on him to seal the ******* deal in a kapalua aloha spirit way

how often did we see that kinda unvarnished aggression this season from cal's monster offensive line?


r ben & sioape related???#
Shocky1
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congrats to kapena gushiken on his commitment to washington state after his official visit to berkeley this last weekend during which his conditional offer never transitioned to an actionable offer after the commitments of the 2 lockdown corners kaylin moore & noah williams

buy a really warm jacket (the palouse is not in the tropics)#
Chapman_is_Gone
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Shockey, if I wuz to raise my deductible from $500 to $1,000, how much will that lower my annual car insurance bill? A rough guess is good enough. Thx man. And can I buy insurance from you given you're 1,000 miles away somewhere in the desert? Is that allowed?

Nice complete whiff on the new OL coach, BTW. Given how plugged in you are to insider scenes, both with today's hottest fresh new music, Cal sports, the Biltmore Bling, craft juices, and everything else you do, I'm surprised you didn't mention the new coach's name during the hiring process, not even once. But I'll give you credit...once the news broke, you had a nice little recap posted on this thread within 30 minutes...gotta make it look like you had inside knowledge of the hire. You're the hardest working fan I know, I gotta give you credit for that.

#oldenoughtobemadisonbeersgrandfather #ohsoawkward


Shocky1
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the shockster once played golf with houston texan kyle allen (who personal trained when he wuz a little kid with my yoga brah anton) who is good friends with former cal quarterback (misfortune of playing behind jared goff the #1 draft choice in the 2016 nfl draft)/haas biz ad grad/current venture capitalist) luke rubenzer (saguaro hs grad, moms is the cfo of shake shacks)

kyle is a desert mountain high school grad & it turns out his longtime girlfriend wuz on the cheer team & knows my daughter taylor

so allen drains a 25 footer for a birdie on the 4th hole in our match as my teammate & i tell him to video the following cheer for his girlfriend & taylor:

hey wolves, introduce yourself

what?

i said, hey wolves, introduce yourself!

right on, we are the wolves and we are proud, that's why we yell so very loud, hey, hey, hey!!!

kyle films this & looks at me in bewilderment & asks "how do you even know this cheer?"

told him back in the day both of my daughters shay & taylor when they wuz in middle school at rancho solano (56th street, not 63rd) went to the desert mountain high school cheer/dance (nationally ranked cheer team) camp & that we practiced together on the front lawn of our north scottsdale home in the evenings

we get to the par 4 drivable (full driver for shocks, only a 5 wood for kyle & luke with their pga level 119 mph clubhead speeds) 16th hole & there's a wait on the teebox and the following conversation ensues:

shocky: kyle, do you think there's anything i can do physically better than you as a professional athlete and if not do you wanna bet 100 bucks that your wrong?

kyle (kinda laughing with a smirk): uh shocky, i am a quarterback in the national football league, some might even say a world class athlete, so no there's nothing you can do athletically better than me

shocky (moving into a headstand position): great, can you do 30 headstand crunches?

kyle (staring in amazement & no longer laughing): **** me

shocky gets paid (for rescue dogs & cats donations)#
Shocky1
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jaydn ott for 2023 the ******* heisman trophy (this is cal football)#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world
SBGold
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Shocky1 said:

SBGold said:


Gutty little Bruins fans did not do well there
goldy, there r a lotta angry people on planet earth that would benefit from a yoga/meditation practice

shirtless guy has quick hands, put him on the dline, he's apex
Shocky1
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asu portal transfer offensive lineman ben scott took an official visit to nebraska last weekend

lousy weather (lincoln is not in the tropics) & beyond breaking bad academics#
Shocky1
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right now the bears got 4 scholly quarterbacks in jack "kevlar vest" plummer, kai "got good hair" milner, fernando "biscayne bay" mendoza & zac "surfs up" johnson for 2023

unless an elite qb shows interest in taking an official visit this weekend, there is zero chance that coach spav is gonna take a high school & a portal transfer qb

don't be a dumb azz (2 squared is enuf)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/Bx7f5hRgL42
con artist update of james arthur knowlton's most recent scams:

jimmy "shell game" k has been telling donors for the last couple months that its' "50/50" the board of regents are gonna stop ucla from joining the big 10 even tho he's been completely removed from those discussions by chancellor christ...anybody wanna bet how this is actually gonna play out at tomorrow's board of regents meeting?

our clueless athletic director told eastcoastcal how many hours he works every day & that he's gonna collect the necessary $125,000,000+ cash up front in order to build his quidditch practice facility before he retires in 2029

despite knowledge of teri mckeever's abuse of female swimmers, he labeled her "a tough coach" and then extended her contract, now both the evil as **** mckeever & the families of the swimmers are gonna sue cal...and he has still failed to terminate the mckeever's enabling athletic department worthless bureaucrat jennifer simon-o'neil who is knowlton's #2 lieutenant

knowlton priced the bears out of the scott huff ($708,000 salary last season with a recent significant increase) negotiations because of his requirement that donor money pay for the deal rather than athletic department funds he would rather expend on title ix & office of civil rights championships

jim is asking major donors to buy out mark fox's $1,900,000+ annual salary for multiple years even tho he's the one who hired him after utilizing an expensive job search firm because he felt "comfortable" with the white coach (current record 0-11) & then remarkably extended him from 2024 to 2025...he then lied in this interview & tried to call it something other than a contract extension, dude is full of ****
https://www.si.com/college/cal/basketball/knowlton-talks-mark-fox

the con artist's most self serving & successful scam was lying to chancellor christ about his odds of getting the northwestern athletic director job which resulted in his average $1,300,000+ salary thru 2029, yeah the long hustles pay real good

vote for andrew mcgraw for athletic director#



Shocky1
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SBGold said:

Shocky1 said:

SBGold said:


Gutty little Bruins fans did not do well there
goldy, there r a lotta angry people on planet earth that would benefit from a yoga/meditation practice

shirtless guy has quick hands, put him on the dline, he's apex
not gonna happen goldy, shirtless guy lacks length, lateral mobility & teeth plus his 2.36 gpa is probably not gonna clear berkeley admissions despite him being apex

and do u really think he's gonna pass the drug testing?

if this guy starts on coach browning's d-line next to all american brett johnson against north texas next september we are ******

oskidunker
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/Bx7f5hRgL42
con artist update of james arthur knowlton's most recent scams:

jimmy "shell game" k has been telling donors for the last couple months that its' "50/50" the board of regents are gonna stop ucla from joining the big 10 even tho he's been completely removed from those discussions by chancellor christ...anybody wanna bet how this is actually gonna play out at tomorrow's board of regents meeting?

our clueless athletic director told eastcoastcal how many hours he works every day & that he's gonna collect the necessary $125,000,000+ cash up front in order to build his quidditch practice facility before he retires in 2029

despite knowledge of teri mckeever's abuse of female swimmers, he labeled her "a tough coach" and then extended her contract, now both the evil as **** mckeever & the families of the swimmers are gonna sue cal...and he has still failed to terminate the mckeever's enabling athletic department worthless bureaucrat jennifer simon-o'neil who is knowlton's #2 lieutenant

knowlton priced the bears out of the scott huff ($708,000 salary last season with a recent significant increase) negotiations because of his requirement that donor money pay for the deal rather than athletic department funds he would rather expend on title ix & office of civil rights championships

jim is asking major donors to buy out mark fox's $1,900,000+ annual salary for multiple years even tho he's the one who hired him after utilizing an expensive job search firm because he felt "comfortable" with the white coach (current record 0-11) & then remarkably extended him from 2024 to 2025...he then lied in this interview & tried to call it something other than a contract extension, dude is full of ****
https://www.si.com/college/cal/basketball/knowlton-talks-mark-fox

the con artist's most self serving & successful scam was lying to chancellor christ about his odds of getting the northwestern athletic director job which resulted in his average $1,300,000+ salary thru 2029, yeah the long hustles pay real good

vote for andrew mcgraw for athletic director#




I would think if the donors agree they would insist they have say in who is hired next . I hope so.
Bring back It’s It’s to Haas Pavillion!
Shocky1
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ben, plz tell me them cal guys didn't try to take u to shoneys for breakfast this morning, ok?

with ur 3.4 gpa at a strong academic high school, ur definitely the smartest guy in this foto

the university of california, berkeley=#2 ranked university in the united states (and ranked higher than vanderbilt)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

Shocky1
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oskidunker said:

Shocky1 said:

I would think if the donors agree they would insist they have say in who is hired next . I hope so.


dunker, this has already happened, some of our beloved donors have already insisted that joe pasternak will be cal's next men's basketball head coach, joe will infuse monster energy into the program thru relentless recruiting via multiple former berkeley grads/players as assistant coaches & he's also the only person on planet earth that will raise the necessary funds for legit nil dollars for players & the construction of a more realistic men's & women's basketball practice facility as the magic of cal basketball returns to berkeley with stormin' the floor average gameday attendance of almost 11,000

roxy & fuchsia sprinkly fashionista berkeley b happy#
Shocky1
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and how will player retention work with the current scholly roster players when joe pasternak is hired?

guys are gonna reach out to their former teammate andre kelly & ask him about what's it like to play for joe vs the knowlton notes fox, how do you think those conversations are gonna go?
https://instagr.am/p/ChYC8oYBjGl
Shocky1
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the monster's very early predictions re: the next men's basketball staff in berkeley:

head coach: joe pasternak
assistant coach: theo robertson
assistant coach: richard midgely
assistant coach: a black under 30 years old recruiting dynamo
director of basketball operations: andrew payne
special assistant to the head coach (academics/life coach): lou richie

a consulting group focused upon player development/recruiting/branding/career opportunities for players after basketball/gameday tix sales consisting of j kidd, ben braun, randy the landlord, shareef abdur rahim, mike montgomery, justin labagh, lamond murray, sean marks, jaylen brown & the monster



only diamonds in berkeley, no donut boys of tuscon#
tequila4kapp
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Shocky1 said:

and how will player retention work with the current scholly roster players when joe pasternak is hired?

guys are gonna reach out to their former teammate andre kelly & ask him about what's it like to play for joe vs the knowlton notes fox, how do you think those conversations are gonna go?
https://instagr.am/p/ChYC8oYBjGl
The current roster may need some turnover.
SBGold
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Shocky1 said:

and how will player retention work with the current scholly roster players when joe pasternak is hired?

guys are gonna reach out to their former teammate andre kelly & ask him about what's it like to play for joe vs the knowlton notes fox, how do you think those conversations are gonna go?
https://instagr.am/p/ChYC8oYBjGl
isn't ucsb struggling so far this season? Kelly a bit meh so far
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:



look tequila, i dunno if ur a nationally recognized hostess ho ho trained nutritionist or what but there's no way the monster is gonna eat any of them chocolates glazed with fuschia sugary sprinkled heart attack hand grenades from v-doo, ok?

to be honest with you, when i think of u tequila my image is of a guy who owns a string of dive bears in multnomah county of which the most popular is called "the drunk oski" which has been cited numerous times by portland pd for "lewd and lacivious" behavior in the bathrooms but you don't really care and just pay the fines

you got a tattoo on your forearm that says "life is not linear#" which you tried to remove a couple of year ago but now it just reads "fe is ear" which is kinda confusing to a lotta people but you just laugh it off

your an incurable romantic, in fact you still carry photos of your 5 ex wives in your wallet...you got only one son who you don't talk to that often (you missed his birthday by 10 days last year but you get points for trying) that is a moderately successful golf club pro in st louis that's got a kinda golf blog that nobody reads

your standard style includes a beat to **** yellow joe roth cal cap that a patron once told you smells oddly "like bbq chicken wings & pu**y"...you got a chipped tooth from when you tried to break up that fight on a civil war gameday but you've never fixed it even tho you count at least a half a dozen dentists as friends

you contentedly live by yourself & your adorable black haired mutt des (who does her yoga stretches on the back patio every morning while barking at the passing golfers) on the right side of the long par 4 2nd hole at waverly country club, your regular game includes philip margolin & peter jacobsen and your caddie jimmy openly bumps your ball in the rough the whole round but nobody cares

you somehow got approval for a golf tournament entitled "the dive bar open" at waverley back in 2002 but you almost got kicked out the club when 2 strippers from coos bay drove a golf cart on the par 4 17th hole across the hour glass green into the willamette river...reality is that you know all the secrets of the board members and you just got a letter of reprimand which you immeditatley recycled...now you host your golf tournament at langdon farms & don't even ask for the security deposit back

your memory isn't so great these days, you call all your male patrons "pal" and the females "sweetie"...people think your mobbed up but that's not true, you just like the linguine con vongole at mucca osteria

your nickname is tequila but ironically your favorite drink is a black cow

how am i doing, tequila?



the world according to shocky#

tequila, do you gotta lotta turnover at your string of portlandia dive bars or something?
Shocky1
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goldy, the hiring decision factors are focused upon who can build a monster winning basketball program in berkeley not who's won or lost a couple of basketball games in santa barbara this season which is kinda irrelevant, capeesh?

hiring the head coach at northeast texas tech whose cinderella squad makes the ncca tournament this season with a talented playing rotation of 8 guys whose average high school gpa wuz 2.57 is not how this decision is gonna go down
oskidunker
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Finally some good news. Thanks for posting. I only hope some of this is true. At least, we-can dream. Who is going to Santa Clara Saturday?
Bring back It’s It’s to Haas Pavillion!
Shocky1
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heard doms might go to santa clara if she can get a ride otherwise it's just gonna be you & the con artist but at least parking shouldn't be a problem

https://instagr.am/p/B-s4dO-DXbc
KoreAmBear
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I'd be good with the kicker and bringing back Cal basketball royalty in Theo and Sir Midge. Something to look forward to.
Rtkbear
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Shocky, You get a few points for the Phoebe Bridgers reference. Carry on.
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