not gonna lie to u, the pittsburgh (5-1) qb2 (qb1 tore an acl, done for the year & will not play against cal in the regular season finale at memorial stadium) holden greiner did not look good in his starting debut carelessly throwing the ball up for grabs multiple times, he's no jackson brousseau
— Baycurrent Classic Presented by LEXUS (@Baycurrent_Clsc) October 9, 2026
2026 toyko pga tournament: 4th round update
max homa (70, tied for 13th): terrific week for the artful dodger despite missing 25 greens in regulation with his ELITE scrambling getting it up & down 20 outta 25 times, go be great max (in mexico, a championship may be imminent)!!
https://instagr.am/p/DZksjr3s4WP michael kim (70, tied for 17th): michael finished with a birdie 3 on the uphill amphitheater MONSTER par 18th hole at yokohama west (listed as a par 5 on the scorecard for members)!!
Thoughts from Baycurrent/Japan:
-Always love coming to Japan. Love the food, the culture and the people. Everyone is super respectful and player dining here is prob best of the yr for me.
-Played with Adam Scott on Sat for the first time in a tournament. He makes the game look… pic.twitter.com/lQjh4AlVj6
collin morikawa (69, tied for 33rd): 7 birdie final round, collin hit his most bizarro shot of the season from the middle of the fairway on the par 4 1st hole from from 150 yards out inexplicably pulling his short iron 2nd shot wildly 25 yards left of the green en route to a double bogey start (golf is sometimes really ******* hard)
MONSTER top 10 in japan:
1) kawana (fuji): yeah the dumb azz hopa/hopa mutt (half japanese/half german) is tryna rep his alma mater "c" in the above foto (which he's doing backwards, brah also has trouble following directions at modern yoga) on the oceanside par 5 11th hole but this charles alison design is the best course in the land of rising sun with its FUN playability/walkable routing, undulating coastal fairways & dramatic FREE views of iconic mt fuji and perhaps most importantly a lotta shocky's beloved palm trees
2) hirono: the most private club in japan, this rugged yet walkable alison masterpiece recently underwent a successful restoration by gil hanse...the best par 3s in japan & the postgame lunch at the clubhouse got old school japanese vibes
3) yokohama (west): a 2015 rebuild with new holes by my only idol in life wake forest grad bill coore featuring firm & fast turf conditions (which is not common in asia)...the 18th hole for the japan open is actually the 2nd hole of the east course & the magnificent uphill with forever memorable bunkering carved into the hillside is a brute par 4 for the pros but plays every day as a scoreable par 5 for the members, my favorite hole in japan
4) japanese a-5 waygu beef (particularly from kyoto): my favorite cut of meat on planet earth followed by king island grassfed beef off the coast of australia & steaks from western nebraska's sandhills...dom arigato
5) toyko golf: the exclusive club got a gil hanse renovation that asks a lotta thoughtful questions but it's limited by the relatively flat topography that only pheobe bridgers could love on her day off under scorpio skies
6) kasumigaeski (east): tom fazio rebuilt this colt design with predictably/unfortunately an american 1980-1990s style of architecture, the course hosted the 1st olympics golf competition & kinda reminds me of harding park but without the lake merced views
7) the bullet train: always on time & fast as **** kinda ashen emory on a PITCHOUT to open space on the edge & a bears touchdown!!
8) naruo: built into a canyon (that's perfect for late nite drag racing singing big boys don't cry) cove ala bel air, this scenic monster is easily the hardest golf course in japan
9) hakone: arguably the best course in the country built by a japanese architect, good but not great
10) the hedge hog cafe in toyko: my sierra club member daughter shay's favorite spot/memory (holding the feisty adorable creatures is not easily forgotten once the puncture wounds from their sharp claws are semi healed) of japan other than swimming with her dumb azz dad, +1 athletic brother & sister taylor at the peninsula's top floor pool with dazzling nighttime views of toyko
Was in Dallas this weekend for my niece's wedding, and after all of the discussion and live for Buc-ees, Mrs Juarezbear and I had to go and see it for ourselves. We weren't disappointed…it was really fun. They had everything you could imagine including a group of German tourists who had a blast trying on different cowboy and hunting caps. We bought and ate the chopped brisket sandwich and had a super huge Diet Dr Pepper. Warning: It's kinda like Costco n hat once you start buying stuff, it's hard to get out for less than $250…but it was a blast, only exceeded by watching my beloved Bears defeat VT as UT collapsed against the hated Sooners…
https://instagr.am/p/DZ_OAjaFEFn andy, once u got ur current hollywood blockbuster tom hanks/bad bunny baseball movie in the can maybe ur next project could be about a warm weather cbyf1 working at a buc-ee's in middle america who meets the love of her life with the OBSTACLE being he (a berkeley grad) wants them to live in the antartica & march with the penguins, u feel me??
this storyline could go in a lotta different directions (maybe the older dude gets mauled to death by a blitzing bipolar bear in the final scene as the weather is getting colder??) with the audience crying their hearts out (could be ur golden tix to winning an oscar like my beloved anora)...the shockster would welcome the opportunity to serve as a consulting casting/scriptwriter for FREE!!
maybe ivan rabb could be cast as an ocean marine zoologist (with a couple of degrees) or something
luv how ur wife & u created hopa/hopa children (the best of all worlds)~~
https://instagr.am/p/DbKjvZ-NiGr ^ shocky tole young ivee while catching up with him on the field during the clemson pregame warmups that both me & my daughter taylor are gonna attend his berkeley graduation in may of 2027 (and that's the magic of cal basketball)!!
^ the soundtrack for our movie "Jimmy and the Curvy Brunette Yoga Female"
wut up spida man, the monster will be sure to say hello/give u a fist bump during the early pre game warm ups on the field tomorrow nite, u feel me brah??
me & my good friend rogg machine (graduated together from the haas biz school back in the day) visited with 2027 high school commits wr1 charles davis aka spida man, wr1 demaredezeurn & qb1 dane weber during the FUN & lively atmosphere on the field during the pregame warm ups
when asked by the shockster who wuz a better BLOCKER between him & demare, charles diplomatically said "both of us!!"
demare's trademark look is the crooked azz lid, his moms & dad tole us the are very much looking forward to becoming bearents next season...when asked whose the fastest wideout in cali dezeurn tole me with a smile that he's the #1 guy!!...fun fact: oklahoma is finally leaving him alone, he could not explain why he evah committed to the sooners in the 1st place
dane tole us that his super healthy moms makes green juices all the time & that not surprisingly he wuz not eating junk food growing up...his wrist bandages will come off soon & he hopes to return to friday nite lights in a couple of weeks, dane is gonna make plays both with his arm & his legs!!
super impressive trio of likeable (unlike jay & jenny) future bears!!
me & my diehard cal football fan cousin sydney visited with future qb1 dane weber & his clean nutrition lifestyle moms rebecca during the pregame warm ups on the field last friday nite...dane got his bandages off & is looking forward to his 1st day out during his senior season...when shocks asked rebecca if dane evah ate mcdonalds growing up she laughed & tole us that's a running joke for them with coach lup too!!
also visited with demare dezeurn who confirmed he's already taken multiple passes to the house with his ELITE SPEED!!...demare is FUN to talk too with positive energy (unlike the incel sr citizen nega bears on this board like the alcoholic trumpanzee) & wuz hosted by 2 very attractive & bubby cbyf1 berkeley student hostesses (they got good gpas, yeah u knew the monster would ask, rite??)
the program is gonna have to show significant utilization/development of the wideouts to keep the spida man in the fold with his older brah niles who is showing upside as a true freshman db
as for jc cornerback alius mayo flipping to georgia this has absolutely nothing to do with the bears 2-2 record & everything to do with his very involved agent (kinda looks like gary coleman) who shows up in every official visit foto...in the sec it's a common recruiting tactic to offer agents a "bonus" for delivering a recruit to the school, academic ambition is not a thing in the deep south (rite jt??)
charles "spida man" davis has recommitted/locked in to play with his older brother niles at the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD with a now pat mccann led EXPLOSIVE downfield vertical passing attack that will showcase the spida man's unique 6'5" length/unreal SPEED and will be enrolling this january in order to learn the dynamic offense during 2027 spring ball!!
https://instagr.am/p/DeauJ7IsGmm congrats xihuan (shocky is a BIG fan of chang!!)# ^ cal men's golf got good teammates/human beings (ride or die with these guys)
^ meanwhile the previously 9/11 terrorist financed corrupt liv exhibition league golfers (other than a handful+ that will get various levels of dp tour cards in 2027, ZERO of them got a FREE pass back to the pga tour) r ****** with nowhere to play next year, ben an will be working as a club fitter at a orlando strip mall golf galaxy near his lake nona home
go crushers (sampson zheng chased a dirty dream, that **** is over now)!!#
the deacs (5-1) qb1 gio lopez (who has made tremendous strides in his development since we saw him last as the north carolina qb) passed for 303 yards on 26 of 33 passing along with making big plays with his legs (kinda like cal's future qb1 dane weber), the bears are gonna need to confuse gio during next saturday's 7:30 pm kick off at memorial stadium with coach hutch's 7-8 defenders at the line of scrimmage
Cal OLB Solomon Williams on the discipline keys to contain QB Gio Lopez
“Very explosive QB. Have to be disciplined in our rush lanes. Can’t do more than our job. Someone that doesn’t see his read, can get out of contain and make a play. Got to show him different looks.” pic.twitter.com/8Dy2AxzawC
“Implementing course of action. It’s very frustrating, we’re participating in the highest penalized conference in America. We’re going to attack every single penalty. It’s been a frustrating process. On targeting, we are… pic.twitter.com/wfWbvWx8B4
the following is a reprint from the monster in 2024:
monster analysis of cal special teams:
note: the following evaluation is based on multiple sources & my personal observations:
*****ryan longwell is a paid special teams consultant that lives 3000 miles away from berkeley that shows up around once a month, his personality is such that he is not really nurturing/encouraging in his coaching style which is kinda mind boggling for someone who is a scratch golfer who presumably understands the mental fragility of golf swings/kicking motions
*****the kicking during the longwell era other than mateen bhaghani have been been beyond breaking bad with his unreal loyalty to the 3 iron trajectory dario longhetto which cost the bears multiple games in every season of his cal career
*****the punting during the longwell era has been somewhere north of mediocre with inconsistent distance & hang time
*****mateen bhaghani wuz a perfect 27 of 27 on extra points & 8 of 9 on field goals, he wuz not given any opportunities to kick any over 50 yards...he is now the ucla kicker, his 2024 big 10 season will be interesting to track
*****mateen bhaghani wuz given the assignment to kick off in only one game, his pregame instructions were to "kick the ball high & to the right" which wuz not practiced during the week...the dumb azzs will tell you he failed to kick the ball deep & lacks leg strength based upon this
*****it wuz a major 2024 recruiting miss & poor player evaluation of personnel by the staff not to offer all american punter kanyon floyd who will be heading to hometown asu with a full scholly...kanyon would've given the bears a potential 4 year all acc punter who with his current 4.73 gpa would've been a strong candidate to gain acceptance into the haas biz school
*****coach so'oto is nowhere in sight during special teams pregame warm ups (presumably vic is with the outside linebackers room), anyalyst zack tinker handles the warm ups
*****tinker preps during the week the punting & kick off coverage & return gameplans
*****the usc special teams play wuz terrible under coach so'oto (coach wilcox referenced his "experience" when he assigned the room to vic)
*****no team fair catches punts more than cal, the decision to have sure handed jeremiah hunter as the punt returner despite lacking lateral explosiveness to make the 1st tacklers miss is mind boggling
*****kickoff returns other than the epic jaydn ott touchdown return in the rose bowl have been non existent
*****shocky bumped into the last special teams coach charlie ragle & then recently hired bill musgrave in february of 2021 outside of the raucous world famous 16th hole of the phoenix open, both guys were absolutely **** faced & mostly incoherent during our 5 minute conversation...the person with me noted that both of them had the bulbous red noses of those with major drinking problems
*****former special teams analyst michael barton is "a terrible communicator"
special teams bottom line: cal has fielded the worst special teams units in college football during the coach wilcox era, a full time special teams coach needs to be hired as the bears can no longer afford the luxury of 2 defensive back coaches _____________________________________________________________________________
2026 MONSTER special teams update:
Cal HC Tosh Lupoi on the improvements in special teams
“Just the aggression we came out with, the positive results. You look at the reflection of the results, if it’s not working it all starts with me. I’m a big believer in our analytics & what we do. I want to get better every… pic.twitter.com/E0GlpNkrnl
*****the squib kick late in the virginia tech game wuz the right call, the kickoff wuz INTO THE WIND with a very low probability of a touchback & the hokies return teams have been exceptional this season while the bears coverage teams have given up multiple huge returns
*****the dorian thomas (would luv to see the ball in his hands more often) rumble up the middle on 4th down wuz a fantastic pre scouting call by coach tinker with textbook execution, angus davies diving to his right to catch an imaginary wild azz snap helped sell the deception & wuz oscar worthy!!
*****high school all american nation's #1 ranked long snapper david bird has delivered the rock this season
*****niles davis return at unlv showcased his elite SPEED!!
*****tyree sams got quick twitch +1 athleticism & potential home run ability on punt returns
*****angus davies needs to be very careful with his delayed rugby punts
*****carson perry-smith's catching/downing the well placed angus punt inside the 5 yard line wuz a critical play late in the vt victory, listening to him talk about his fellowship with walk ons & the importance of mental reps is worth a listen (or three)!!
*****big legged towns mcough (with his signature prayers up with his hands as part of his prekick routine) lasered 5 balls outta 5 thru the uprights on saturday, that's a huge bolt of CONFIDENCE heading into the 2nd half of the season...and the 1st person who celebrates with him on the sidelines after made kicks is fellow kicker/outstanding teammate (and that's just good parenting) chase meyer
*****now that towns & the bird are pursuing world class generational wealth building berkeley degrees (vs kinda worthless auburn & alabama degrees), the monster no longer thinks they gonna be working for 20 bucks an hour at age 30 at a deep south waffle house!!
https://instagr.am/p/DedhIlwM-WB cal golf is a global COMPETITIVE enterprise (unlike the morally/financially bankrupt 9/11 financed liv exhibition league which wuz never about "growing the game," it wuz about ****tards getting paid)#
https://instagr.am/p/DefgOfNR99J real talk: in addition to deacs uniforms, equipment & **** there are 7,600 cartoons of cigarettes stuffed into the wake forest football program team truck!!
guess whose injured or NOT??# hint: the generational talent/future 2028 high NFL draft choice FAITH based qb1 from ewa beach will be starting sat nite (do u got ur tixs??)!!
forcey, 100% agree with ur assessment, both staffs have been engaging in the misdirection reporting of injuries for this saturday nite's EPIC 7:30 pm (10:30 pm for the deacs body clocks, yawn) acc battle against wake forest (the best coached program arguably in the nation) at memorial stadium!!
rb1 adam mohammed has been 100% out all week
https://instagr.am/p/DMll7rox9XM the shockster's take is that the most critical match up will be whether or not the bears successfully SPY either uber talented +1 athletic aj tuitele (who is hurting the program with his 2 targeting disqualifications which are compounded by his dumb azz preening on the field giving selfish misreading the room vontaze burfict vibes after the illegal hits) & 6'5" jaguar quick twitch with length kingston lopa (the nation's leader in interceptions with 5) who will be starting are able to contain & **** up dangerous dual threat crocodile smiling deacs qb1 gio lopez!!
yeah the apex predators with ruthless cold hearts (like the damaged goods heartless bipolar little mermaid) are gonna determine the ultimate outcome, small children/those with older heart conditions should NOT be watching this **** now that the weather is getting colder!!
^ conclusive proof that them bears spend all their FREE time on their phones reading the monster!!
cal's monster class OFFICIAL gameday score prediction (largely based upon the above unhealthy as **** pregame meals/nutrition by the NO EFFORT cal football program):
wake forest lean & mean pilates demon deacons 56 berkeley golden arches french fries sofa kings 3
https://instagr.am/p/BlTjcZlHcIt the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including chateau de mirambeau which does NOT serve heart attack triple pounder mystery meat big mac burgers w/double fries & strawberry milkshakes)
^ exclusive footage of shocky at his 1st pilates class (not so graceful)!!
my daughter taylor (visiting from nyc for the week) just signed us up ("dad got a ******* flip phone and can't do ****") for the "new hot pilates studio on shea" for a class (which she tole me will improve my golf game or something) on sunday together _____________________________________________________________________ https://instagr.am/p/DXX0K0vD_Sb KARMA NEW STUDENT QUESTIONNAIRE:
What's your name? shocky
Where do you live? in north scottsdale in a tree fort
How old are you? ima older & maybe bipolar since the weather is getting colder
Who is your emergency contact? call 911 or messinger mortuary if shocky strokes out or something
Do you belong to any other health clubs? modern yoga-they got me unfairly evaluated as a substitute yoga teacher17 (syt17) which is total bull**** the village at dc ranch/silverleaf-bunch of rich people that complain about the egyptian cloth thread count of the workout towels
What are your hopes and dreams for potentially joining our pilates/yoga studio? my new #1 goal in life is to become scottsdale's old town first bottle boy (bb1)!!...yeah drunk azz cbyf1s/cbyf2s at bachelorette parties will wanna grab/touch my azz & **** but having been a male azz stripper at cal in order to pay my way thru college back in the day ima already used to that **** & will deal...no cap
questions of the universe: see above & why did the chancellor (who by all accounts is a good human being) not terminate the unlikeable jay & jenny despite the mounting lawsuits in multiple sports by female student athletes (whose lives haves been devastated) re: serious coaching abuse allegations that occurred during their watch and instead promoted each of them to $500,000 salaries??
if the monster sees rich tomorrow he's gonna ask him that question
real talk: ok there's no denying that coach anne is objectively attractive/fit as **** but she's a minimum 3+ hair appointments at zoltons away from becoming a cbyf1 like former coach christy
based upon this new critical piece of information, the monster is officially revising his final score prediction as follows:
wake forest not quite cbyf1 mean and lean pilates demon deacons 28 berkeley bears golden arches sofa kings 24 ^ this outcome is predicated upon aj tuitele not getting thrown out/disqualified for a 3rd consecutive game due to illegal targeting & qb1 jks not vomiting up his triple whoopers in the locker room pregame
https://instagr.am/p/DehTuMjHGoT ^ fashionista tip: fuschia (zimmerman crushes this color in their fall dress line) never goes outta style (plus fuschia scrunchies tying & retying ponytails are triggering!!)
the ponies (5-1, #24 ranked in nation) undersized (terrific college qb with no nfl upside) qb1 kevin jennings is as accurate as any gunslinger while throwing on the run, the bears are gonna face another dangerous dual threat qb in dallas next saturday after tonite's acc battle with deacs qb1 gio lopez
rb1 kendrick raphael is still running hard with a much better offensive line than the bears passive o-line that don't hold blocks/drive the pile forward & rushed for 124 yards on 22 carries
despite giving up only 13 points the smu d is not that good for a ranked team, cal should be able to put up a lotta points against this unit
the virginia (4-3) november road game is winnable against the cavs azz wipe mid qb1 beau pribula (13 off 22 passing for 137 yards) who is 100% panic at the disco when pressured, is slow to diagnose/audible against blitz packages and makes poor run/pass read option decisions...yeah the bears need to dial up the 7-8 d front in charlottesville & **** this guy up!!
^ not gonna lie, shocky's favorite player in the acc (excluding them cali bears) is fiery as **** bc qb1 mason mckenzie who would run thru an erupting diamond head volcano lava flow to get an extra yard for his team (if coach anae's quiet room played with the same relentless non stop passion the bears would be 7-0 this season)
boston college eagles 27 pittsburgh panthers 21
college football games are often decided by quarterback play, the bears final regular season opponent the panthers (5-2) have now lost 2 games in a row since their terrific qb1 tore his acl
so pitt benched last week's sorry azz qb2 in favor of true freshmen 6'6" rag n bone skinny jeans qb3 corey dailey who basically just throws the ball up for grabs most of the time
https://instagr.am/p/Dek9ZtbstgR yeah shocky would rather play a brisk walking round with our bags over our shoulders at the fantastic golden gate park par 3 course with the wildly talented trevor cox (who needs to gain 5+ lbs of muscle during the upcoming almost 100 day winter break to facilitate increased ball/club SPEED) than any of the 9/11 terrorist liv exhibition league ****tards like phony phil, the whiny azz cheating deshambles or piece of **** ian "growing the game" poulter
the below video of shocky celebrating after rolling in a twisty downhill 3 footer from above the cup for par on the diabolical11th green at pasatiempo tells u all u need to know, yeah u know the story!!
It’s the 10th anniversary of “who do you think you are I am,” an iconic cultural moment. pic.twitter.com/NCHSQ0sYc2
https://instagr.am/p/DekxFB-l4sl MAJOR CAL FOOTBALL UPDATE: drama at memorial stadium, jks in street clothes & rolo may be done, dane weber an unofficial ucla visitor at the rose bowl tonite (sigh)
wake forest fired up demon deacs 41 california sleepwalking bears 7
how do u lose the qb1 job due to an injury (concussion) playing behind a passive maybe mentally checked out offensive line that has resulted in serious injuries to the rb1 & rb2 and candy azz soft wide receivers/tight ends that aren't interested in blocking??
Cal QB Jackson Brousseau on when he found out he was starting
the game wuz summarized on a play in the 2nd quarter at the 4:30 left mark when the bears rb3 wuz still physically/courageously battling for yardage with the whistle not blown, 4 of the 5 offensive lineman wuz standing around with their hands on their hips as he got the **** knocked outta him by the swarming deacs
as this is the lowest motor starting o-line room of my lifetime (and honestly depressing as **** to watch just going thru the motions in what is a violent sport) replicating the widely successful current ucla model of rotating 8-10 players needs to happen in dallas, keeping the current 4 2027 trench workers committed is critical as at least 2 (isaiah bertola & dajohn yarborough) of them will most likely start next season as true freshman
First game with a blow out by half time. Seems someone needs to step up and provide some leadership asap or this season will collapse in a hurry. We went from the best victory so far to the worst defeat...Tosh needs to figure out a way to pull out another 3 victories this season and show he has credibility as a leader. Otherwise I will be fully on board with bringing in a coach such as from UC Davis, Oregon State, et al. with a proven winning track record and let him work with the resources Tosh has had this year.
^ exclusive footage of shocky at his 1st pilates class (not so graceful)!!
my daughter taylor (visiting from nyc for the week) just signed us up ("dad got a ******* flip phone and can't do ****") for the "new hot pilates studio on shea" for a class (which she tole me will improve my golf game or something) on sunday together _____________________________________________________________________ https://instagr.am/p/DXX0K0vD_Sb KARMA NEW STUDENT QUESTIONNAIRE:
What's your name? shocky
Where do you live? in north scottsdale in a tree fort
How old are you? ima older & maybe bipolar since the weather is getting colder
Who is your emergency contact? call 911 or messinger mortuary if shocky strokes out or something
Do you belong to any other health clubs? modern yoga-they got me unfairly evaluated as a substitute yoga teacher17 (syt17) which is total bull**** the village at dc ranch/silverleaf-bunch of rich people that complain about the egyptian cloth thread count of the workout towels
What are your hopes and dreams for potentially joining our pilates/yoga studio? my new #1 goal in life is to become scottsdale's old town first bottle boy (bb1)!!...yeah drunk azz cbyf1s/cbyf2s at bachelorette parties will wanna grab/touch my azz & **** but having been a male azz stripper at cal in order to pay my way thru college back in the day ima already used to that **** & will deal...no cap
Do you have any questions? do u got any FREE naked azz classes (clothes r for losers)??
shocky (with encouragement/rescue doggy dog animal support from taylor) just competed for 60 minutes (unlike the cal football program last nite) in his 1st heated (10,000 degrees fahrenheit in the croc pot) class taught by teacher avery at karma (signed up for a 10 class package afterwards) without blacking or stroking the **** out!!
yeah the monster is gonna start filling out the paperwork to get licensed/credentialed as old town's first bottle boy1 (bb1)!!
personal growth don't stop when u leave berkeley (it's just the ******* beginning of the adventure)#
First game with a blow out by half time. Seems someone needs to step up and provide some leadership asap or this season will collapse in a hurry. We went from the best victory so far to the worst defeat...Tosh needs to figure out a way to pull out another 3 victories this season and show he has credibility as a leader. Otherwise I will be fully on board with bringing in a coach such as from UC Davis, Oregon State, et al. with a proven winning track record and let him work with the resources Tosh has had this year.
The Defense is non-existent.
We can't run the ball and both lines are extremely poor. The only bright spot is Angus Davies the punter. You cant win with a punter.
It's shocking that people ponied up $88.5 million for this.
🚨🖋️😳 #NEW — Charley Hull recalls getting tattoos while being drunk in Ibiza as a 17-year old, discusses her smoking habits and much more. @CharleyLegion
based upon the above article re: 17 year olds binge drinking followed by late nite tattoos in ibiza the monster is no longer gonna take the men's golf team on an off the ******* rails wild azz holiday to europe & instead is gonna buy each of our high gpa bears a personally inscripted leather bound thesaurus or something!!
rod benson, we share a mutual friend in sir richard midgley & luv ur passion for cal men's hoops!!
but patience is not the solution, it's actually the opposite as right now the bears gotta dwindling sr citizen fanbase every year that is not being replenished with new fans as the attendance metrics continue to decline during the last decade...the average reader of ur posts is 70+ years old & wishes for the good ol days at harmon gym
wins & losses is not gonna change ****, the team won 22 games last year yet still finished near the bottom of the acc in attendance...building successful global enterprise fanbases in today's highly competitive 6 second attention span economy requires personal connectivity, is that happening right now in berkeley??
non berkeley grads jay & jenny have surrounded themselves with not talented marketers/communicators who are also not berkeley grads which means there's no authentic storytelling, just sending out the bull**** emails that get deleted in 3 seconds are NOT the solution...at the end of the day the chancellor by promoting these ****tards despite the multitude of lawsuits in multiple women's sports has essentially KILLED any chance for increased fan interest in both basketball teams
almost nobody is reading this board, the content is not FUN or informative (recruiting is now a secret society of a handful of aging white guys & nobody else)...cal's monster class targeted potential fans under 25 years of age & bay area sports fans with no affiliation to berkeley with its dumb azz content but that's gone now along with the almost 11,000 average gameday attendance as is the opportunity for key critical recruits like ivan rabb & jaylen brown to read about themselves & their recruitments every single day during their jr & sr years of high school
a critical starting point for turning this around would be FREE hoops tixs for all berkeley students which would be an investment in the future (which is something i tole coach madsen in person on the field at memorial stadium right after he got hired along with the importance of an asian player that the fanbase/student body could identify with), jay & jenny are 100% opposed to this of course with the support of a few enablers who mistakenly think anything that is FREE or heavily discounted is not appreciated which is some serious pompous marie antoinette white centric thinking in not understanding the financial realities of the vast majority of the berkeley student body which don't got parents that will buy them the student combo pass for $125
maybe u or somebody at the bearinsider.com could interview the chancellor & ask him why he promoted jay & jenny to $500,000 each annual salaries instead of letting dan mogulof terminate their employment??
rod, richard got my email & phone number if u evah wanna talk
https://instagr.am/p/DeczSDVtsSr ^ why is this candy azz soft guy (who drinks a coke zero before playing golf, why not pound down a couple of strawberry pop tarts too??) riding in a golf cart at the tightly routed readily walkable bayonet, does he got a ton of unnecessary caca (shocky is a minimalist/non hoarding/anti consumer of material things) like his i-phone (which he checks every 5 minutes), an extra pair of socks, a box of pro vs, a couple of semi crushed cigars, a bunch of paperwork for a biz deal he's tryna close, etc that requires him to play cartball instead of celebrating the simple magic of golf while walking with his bag over his shoulder on the spectacular monterey peninsula??
2026 collegiate tournament at the bayonet: 1st round update
callixte alzas (66, tied for 1st): VOILA mon ami callixte with a tres magnifique 8 birdies (including a ryder cup 4 for 4 on the par 5s), make no mistake about it monsieur alzas from paris is a generational talent (merci beaucoup joel)!!
sihao cong (69, tied for 11th): the cong show lighting it up with 6 birdies including an unreal 31 on the back nine at the challenging bayonet (74.8 course rating, yikes)!!
ziqin zhou (70, tied for 17th): Z is playing solid golf in prep for the prestigious 2026 pacific asia amateur (winner gets invitations to the 2027 masters & british open) in a couple of weeks at my beloved coore & crenshaw designed te arai (just north of auckland, the cypress point of new zealand)!!
trevor cox (73, tied for 46th): trevor might've put too many pressure on himself after firing a 64 on the bayonet en route to winning the mcclure in january, fully expect mr legoland to chill the **** out with unhealthy expectations (just live in the moment brah) & bounce back hard mañana!!
charlie bundy (74, tied for 62nd): my fellow haas biz colleague bogied 3 of his final 4 holes but bundy is on an upward trajectory of play with his game lately, let's do this charlie!!
xihuan chang (72, tied for 32nd, competing as an individual): not the final hole finish chang wanted but that's just golf sometimes, xihuan rolls the rock like a pga tour pro (6 birdies today) & is the key piece of the puzzle for them cali bears to make national waves this spring!!
bears are tied for 1st with oregon & washington at 10 under par with 2 rounds to go
weird azz stat: the 6 bears played their 1st hole of the day in 6 under & their final hole of the day 6 over par, gotta be mentally tougher/focused in closing out rounds (yeah shocks knows the scoreable par 5 10th hole is way the **** easier than the brutal par 4 9th hole, don't be a dumb azz)
https://instagr.am/p/Db1JowTIdZB ^ real talk re: the future mrs callixte alzas: cbyf1s from academically mid schools all over planet earth wanna date & marry cal, stanford & ivy league grads when they enter the real world!!
2026 collegiate tournament at the bayonet: 2nd round update
^ who the **** is riding in the sorry azz golf cart to the far right??
sihao cong (66, 2nd place): sihao with an unreal closing stretch with an explosive 7 birdies on his last 12 holes, the cong show is in a great position (only 1 stroke behind a cal poly golfer) to win his 1st collegiate tournament mañana!!
callixte alzas (73, tied for 8th): saisons-le monsieur alzas!!
ziqin zhou (70, tied for 10th): Z gotta lotta momentum after an EAGLE 3 on the par 5 527 yard 18th hole!!
trevor cox (76, tied for 70th): golf is a really hard game sometimes, keep grinding trevor!!
charlie bundy (77, tied for 82nd): shocky believes a good nite sleep (big yawn) solves a lotta life problems!!
https://instagr.am/p/DepvUK3oK1W xihuan chang (76, tied for 63rd, competing as an individual): xihuan, let's get the driver in play & then attack!!
the bears are in 2nd place at 13 under play & only 2 strokes behind oregon heading into tomorrow morning's 3rd & final round, let's do this (restful nite sleeps, healthy protein breakfasts, solid warm up seshs on the range, deep breathing with smiles on our faces on the 1st tee-it's a privilege to play golf with ur brothers from different mothers!!)
in the lead up to the 2026 season the monster mistakenly thought that the road game to smu (4-1) would be the toughest battle on the schedule, it turns out that the ponies defense really isn't that great for a nationally ranked team
the shockster's favorite (non berkeley bear) player in the acc is eagles qb1 mason "hair on fire" mckenzie who is of mid athletic talent but would 100% fearlessly run thru a burning wall with reckless abandonment re: his body to get his team another yard & when he inevitably gets the **** knocked outta him he immediately bounces up & screams at the top of his lungs to his teammates that we got this, luv this ******* badazz!!
u might ask "shocks, why the **** should we care about bc's qb1?"
because in watching the cal o-line during the pregame warm ups on the field from only feet away (yeah u can smell the sweat) there is a total disconnect from the very fiery/loud as **** coach anae & his very quiet/non demonstrative room (the vets tyson, sioape & bastian are naturally not vocal guys & that culture has been handed down to the younger guys)
and that's been a problem this season, there's been very little physicality and/or imposing their will PASSION from the offensive line room in what is a VIOLENT sport that favors confident apex predators
cal's offensive line should NOT have the same mindset on gamedays as cal's chess club, got it??
yeah this is the monster's letter to them, our time on planet earth is finite & not maximizing our gifts/hearts with those that we love is honestly just a real sad story
Someone who has had a nice couple games since starting is Cal OT Mike Klisiewicz
On how he stayed ready mentally
“Mentally, it was tough for a little bit. But then I realized, just some self talk, get myself fired up knowing I could do it. The guys that are on the line with… pic.twitter.com/njcnndIBXk
is this the voice of someone whose room is mentally ready to play 60 ******* minutes of VIOLENT ******* football with their hair on ******* FIRE this upcoming saturday in dallas or is this a promotional video for the cal chess club re: their upcoming big match with harvard at the marshall chess club on 10th street in greenwich village??
not gonna lie, the monster is getting more quiet flatlining even tempered o-line ****show vibes (sigh)
in the lead up to the 2026 season the monster mistakenly thought that the road game to smu (4-1) would be the toughest battle on the schedule, it turns out that the ponies defense really isn't that great for a nationally ranked team
the shockster's favorite (non berkeley bear) player in the acc is eagles qb1 mason "hair on fire" mckenzie who is of mid athletic talent but would 100% fearlessly run thru a burning wall with reckless abandonment re: his body to get his team another yard & when he inevitably gets the **** knocked outta him he immediately bounces up & screams at the top of his lungs to his teammates that we got this, luv this ******* badazz!!
u might ask "shocks, why the **** should we care about bc's qb1?"
because in watching the cal o-line during the pregame warm ups on the field from only feet away (yeah u can smell the sweat) there is a total disconnect from the very fiery/loud as **** coach anae & his very quiet/non demonstrative room (the vets tyson, sioape & bastian are naturally not vocal guys & that culture has been handed down to the younger guys)
and that's been a problem this season, there's been very little physicality and/or imposing their will PASSION from the offensive line room in what is a VIOLENT sport that favors confident apex predators
cal's offensive line should NOT have the same mindset on gamedays as cal's chess club, got it??
yeah this is the monster's letter to them, our time on planet earth is finite & not maximizing our gifts/hearts with those that we love is honestly just a real sad story
Someone who has had a nice couple games since starting is Cal OT Mike Klisiewicz
On how he stayed ready mentally
“Mentally, it was tough for a little bit. But then I realized, just some self talk, get myself fired up knowing I could do it. The guys that are on the line with… pic.twitter.com/njcnndIBXk
is this the voice of someone whose room is mentally ready to play 60 ******* minutes of VIOLENT ******* football with their hair on ******* FIRE this upcoming saturday in dallas or is this a promotional video for the cal chess club re: their upcoming big match with harvard at the marshall chess club on 10th street in greenwich village??
not gonna lie, the monster is getting more quiet flatlining even tempered o-line ****show vibes (sigh)
Many of us have said this before. This program is being defined by influential people who basically detest true smash mouth football culture (read - we only pick people/players/coaches who make them feel comfortable to be around all the time). These "leaders" want to believe that we can win with "nice boys" who can win without having that contemptible A-level toughness and borderline arrogance required to physically defeat the man standing in front of you. It's a Cal fantasy we as fans have had to endure. It is football, it's about an irrational commitment to winning alone. A famous football winner, Vince Lombardi, famously said winning isn't everything, it's the only thing. Our high minded Cal leadership finds such notions, especially about football, which is dominated by Middle and Southeastern American types, abhorrent.
As a former ELITE worldwide fashion model with multiple online degrees, I am very proud to let you know that I'm the new Chancellor at SMU!!!!!! It's true, I interview really well!!
I really think your writing is very witty ("don't be a dumb azz, it's better to palm a tight azz") plus we both love doggy dogs, would you be willing to accept an Adjunk Professorship of Literature in addition to starting up our new Yoga/Meditation Master's Program? Realize that you're not credentialed yet as a substitute yoga teacher at Modern Yoga but we can do a workaround on that minor issue.
Look, I realize you can play literally any golf course on Planet Earth with one phone call/email but would it help your decision making if I can arrange a FREE membership at Brook Hollow which has been faithfully restored by your favorite architects Coore & Crenshaw?
Shocky, working together we can make SMU GREAT AGAIN and in any case I'm looking forward to meeting you at your pregame FREE buffet at Buc-ee's on Saturday November 30th, is this a clothing optional event or not??
I will even confidentially whisper in your ear my GPA!!
Respectfully yours,
Tiffany Von Strudel the Third SMU Chancellor
P.S. > Agreed that clothes r for losers!!!
Dear Shocky,
How are you?
I am fine!!
Getting my nails done this morning at the Reverse Cowgirl Nail Saloon in Highland Park & thought you might be interested in my list of the TOP 3 people on planet earth that I would like to take a naked azz shower with in the very near future!!
1) Shocky, no big surprise there!!
^ editor's note: shocky goes to the lunch box every month for grooming, he never in real life got nasty azz hair on his belly or really anywhere like he does in this foto
2) Rickie Fowler, he don't gotta lotta STDs like DeChambo!!
3) George Bush, we need funding for a new Poli Sci building on campus.
See you Saturday morning at Buc-ee's, should I wear any underwear or NOT??
Hugs & kisses,
Tiffany Von Strudel the Third SMU Chancellor
Dear Shocky,
How are you?
I am VERY mad at you!!
Wut the **** is Becky G doing at Buc-ee's??
DALLAS! y’all showed us so much loveee 💖 Gracias Ivan Cornejo for having me, let’s do it again sometime ☺️✨ pic.twitter.com/vdN7U59FwX
I may NOT be flying out after all for the Ponys game in Berkeley on Saturday November 29th (and if I do I'm probably going to hook up with Jacob de Jesus or Rino Monteforte after the game, which ever one of them isn't busy with postgame interviews), got it??
Don't even bother to ever call me again unless ur DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cordially,
Tiffany Von Strudel the Third SMU Chancellor
Looking forward to welcoming Cal fans to Texas! Remember, please keep protesting to a minimum, our oil keeps the country going! pic.twitter.com/Lgo2muJp4f
I'm tired of your prevalent discriminatory attitudes against Blondes, are you really too ******* stupid to understand that I'm only 2 appointments away at Zolton's from becoming a curvy brunette yoga female1 (CBYF1)??
You wish you had played your cards right with me and taken my offer of an Adjunk Professorship!!
Since ur older and Ima bipolar are you still going to visit Dallas this Saturday now that the weather is getting colder??
Great news, I'm following your gut health/flat stomach recommendation now and drinking every morning 32 oz green juices which is resulting in me pooping like a race horse just like you!!
https://instagr.am/p/DcedNx8j0Jp And now we're off to the races TOGETHER (unless we run outta toilet paper), ur my ONE true love!!
https://instagr.am/p/Deu1LnXqSoe ^ fun facts: 1) golf carts (and underwear) r for losers!! 2) the monster got the smu men's golf coach fired (wrote a letter to the real smu chancellor, not tiffany) a decade ago after witnessing the hc physically confronting a tcu collegiate golfer during a tournament at tuscon national 3) the coore & crenshaw renovated brook hollow in highland park is within walking distance of the smu football stadium!!
2026 collegiate tournament at the bayonet: 3rd round update
CONGRATS to sihao cong on a spectacular tie for 1st place finish at the bayonet with a closing 71 for a fantastic 10 under par on a very difficult track with a course rating of 74.8!!
https://instagr.am/p/DezVjuqMuWK wowza, the cong show wuz en fuego on the monterey peninsula this week competing at a cathedral of golf on one of the game's largest stages!!
now the bears gotta almost 100 day break before the next tournament, our bears need to finish strong academically & attack each individual's goals with respects to weight, nutrition & strength and conditioning...literally every player in the 9 roster player program other than Z (needs to start a dedicated yoga/meditation program for his recurring back issues which limits his time practicing short putts which is critical for zhou's next level of development) & maybe callixte (got +1 athleticism unreal rickie fowler lower body core foundation to drive thru the ball with ELITE ball/club SPEED, needs to strengthen his lean upper body) is undersized for consistent championship golf...yeah the future mrs callixte alzas is looking forward to our parisian's 1st college victory at the barricade!!
https://instagr.am/p/DdmLwYRocOd whose gonna show out in late january with a stronger body/more good weight & increased ball/club SPEED??
yeah the monster is standing on business & tracking ur progress (or lack thereof, there's a couple of guys not putting in the hard work)...no cap
https://instagr.am/p/DewHEHgoDDw the program needs to find/develop a reliable 5th golfer in order to compete at the may of 2027 ncaa championship at la costa's legoland course, both charlie are xihuan are 20-25 lbs away from their ideal optimal weight (which will allow them not have to violently swing the driver at 110% in order to hit laser fairway finders)
sihao (who got unlimited upside & gained a lotta confidence from his world class play this summer in the us amateur at merion), u 100% deserve this song being played right now but make no ******* mistake about it shocky thinks the love theme could be played on repeat in 2027 if u start building out ur body like xander, u feel me brah??
