cal's monster offensive line

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Bobodeluxe
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Chapman_is_Gone said:


As your doctor if reading the tedious ramblings of a massive DB is right for you.
The UC Berkeley Bears could use more size at the DB, but rambling won't cut it. OG may be a more suitable position.
sonofabear51
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both jennifer simon-o'neil & the con artist will potentially be terminated because of their roles in the mckeever debacle


The sooner the better.


Start Slowly and taper off
Shocky1
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^

times a gazillion#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/Cav4kdMLSOe
major cal's monster offensive line annoucement:

executive producer brian driscoll with bastian swinney as a foley artist is gonna cast everett johnson as bigfoot and BRETT JOHNSON (film still below) as his disturbed half brother in a 2023 oscar winning hollywood blockbuster release with fast cutting cimematic effects that will make its international premiere at the t-rex yoga studio in yountville this summer

this relatively low budget drama/horror adventure movie has been pre screened by cal's monster offensive line to mixed feedback/reviews, sioape vatikani is very concerned that the breadcrumbing poly curvy brunette yoga female love interest is gonna be played by mila kunis which he thinks makes no sense at all...tj session watched the preview with arms folded skepticism & could be heard muttering "that bigfoot don't look like a brother to me"...furthermore there is also conflict from mike saffell who is demanding that the movie be respliced post production to include more footage/"character development" of his role as the town's corrupt sheriff and matthew cindric is beyond disappointed that the dramatic final arc shot scenes in an uber helicopter wuz not filmed in texas...colin hamilton wuz honestly confused why the movie don't got no canadian subtitles or something and bryaden rohme skipped the screening altogether in order to eat a protein fortified 13,000 calorie dinner at the bloesch home

https://instagr.am/p/CoVv2z3uLa1
Rushinbear
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Shocky1 said:


russian, literally everybody in the o-line room playing rotation (other than those that are injured) loses weight during the playing season, there's a lotta wear & tear and fatigue so meaningful weight gains gotta happen in the offseason

very optimistic that the king of the hill intense coach bloesch (unlike the much more west coast easygoing angus who didn't always have his eye on the details while driving back & forth between his home in reno) is working with brayden rohme & presumably brian johnson in devising a plan that involves s&c work, nutrition (rohme gotta fast metabolism like his moms) & the very underrated necessity of sleep to get his weight numbers right

as for coaching up aggression, sat by future head coach in waiting mike saffell at the monster's stormin' the floor basketball victory at our haas (be both be biz ad grads) & asked him exactly that question re: coaching up aggression for brian driscoll...mike pointed out to me that brian had several violence on the field penalties late in the season & that actually playing with controlled aggression wuz the real goal

in any case, the last minute of the video below includes a snippet of the many conversations that me & brian had last week at san diego gas stations while we successfully moved his attitude form la jolla to national city, we are both being vigorously defended by vandalus on all them bogus robbery charges...yeah we are both gonna follow her on instagram


Makes my point. The OL recruiting mantra has been to get agile guys with the frame to put on good weight (lean muscle, primarily). But, A player can't keep that weight on as the season plays out and when you need it the most (the second half of the season is scheduled for the toughest teams, by and large) it has dissipated. The coaches must have recruiting criteria adjusted to naturally bigger, stronger guys - guys like Vatikani and J Brown. Of course, there aren't that many around and everyone is after them, so easier said than done.

Aggression? Gotta be mean, naturally. Ideally.
Jeff82
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Shocky1 said:

jeff, the pga made a major change in the requirements for retaining the coveted pga tour card for the 2024 season, now only the top 70 (in the past it's been the top 125) players in the the current 2023 fed ex rankings are gonna keep their cards

colin morikawa (now ranked #7 in the world) & max homa (just moved up to #12 in the world) are locks to keep their pga cards, byeong hun an is in good shape at #55 in the fed ex standings, michael kim gotta lotta work at #116 & james hahn at #177 is in trouble

it should be pointed out that the 2 california colden bears that moved from north scottsdale to colder climates have seen their pga play take precipitous nosedives in hahn (now lives in the texas hill country) & brandon hagy (now lives in charlotte)
Homa already has his card for next year from his wins. The rest either have to finish top 70 or get a win. Morikawa is probably already a lock to do that. 70 to 125 go into the Korn-Ferry playoffs, I guess, which I believe is how Kim got his card back for this year.
Shocky1
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jeff, yeah only the top 70 this year will receive an invitation to the 1st fed ex playoff tournament & retrain their pga cards for 2024, #76 thru #125 will be back on the korn ferry tour and/or seeking the few sponsor's exemptions extended at each tournament tryna to earn their pga cards back like michael kim & byeong hun an did this season
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

with the originally planned december 3rd/4th official visits recruiting weekend moved back earlier this week to the following 2 weekends due to the offensive coordinator interview process, the current plan is for future head coach in waiting/fellow haas biz ad grad mike saffell to continue his relentless recruiting efforts with a focus upon high gpa bay area preferred walk ons for the o-line room

earlier this week mike got a pwo commitment from 6'4" 275 lbs 3.2 gpa interior line bad azz mark taylor from acalanes who hopefully gonna enter the tour de caldecott tunnel with elite wide receiver & mischievious shocky pwner robbie m from campolindo

saffell just extended a pwo offer to 6'6" 305 lbs 4.2 gpa mac dorward from marin catholic who is very interested in playing the meadow club with the monster after visiting berkeley this season (mac is the mt tam mountain man kinda looking guy on the far left)


for those of you who know the back roads to stinson beach (the epicenter of shocky's 1st kiss ever that did not involve a dog when he wuz in high school), coach mcclure started this recruitment


mac gotta serious 415 motor, notice how he pounds the **** out of opposing defenders ala current seattle seahawks jake curhan from redwood



back in the day major cal donor/ross oligopolist califortunate introduced me on a basketball gameday at halftime to his floor seat guest who tole me he read cal's monster class every morning, yeah mc grad jerry goff is one of my dedicated readers...some of the private collection fotos of his son jared who wuz later the #1 pick in the 2016 nfl draft were sent directly to me by jerry, it's not a surprise that jared's current girlfriend si swimsuit model christen harper is a curvy brunette yoga female from an academically mediocre school, that's how life works

https://instagr.am/p/CGqnRMbAf_C
won't u meet me at sam's anchor cafe for brunch on the water (tasty egg salad sandwich on sourdough plus apple slices with 2 ice cold perriers)?#

https://instagr.am/p/ChLTVO_P0Ij

mac gonna be an ivy leaguer at cornell

2027 grad transfer portal prospect#

Shocky1
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HoopDreams
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Back in the day of the original Monster, the Shockster was at every home game, and invited me to sit in his courtside seats. During warm-ups, the players would come by and acknowledge him with a fist bump or nod and he always had encouraging things to say. At half time he introduced me to several Cal sports luminaries including the WBB head coach.

The Shockster always brought his A game

So it wasn't a surprise when I saw him lead the court storm after the epic win over ranked Arizona in a Gold-out, packed Haas Pavillion

But I wasn't the only person in Haas who wasn't surprised. His daughter Taylor tried her best to stop him as you can see by her hand firmly holding his wrist

But he would not be denied





Shocky1
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why is taylor holding her dad's wrist?

back in the magical days of cal's monster class with partner hoop dreams, taylor's dad went to 150+ games in a row quite often with his daughter

earlier in this game shocky & his crazy azz floor seatmmate mr spieker's son in law (who might've had a few drinks or seven) were yelling at the white bald ref re: a call...baldy stopped play & tried to have me removed from haas, that didn't happen but the monster wuz given a warning by ashwin puri to try to stay in my seat

baldy wuz pissed, so when play resumes right in front of me he calls jordan mathews for a bogus phantom offensive call, j mat can't believe it but the monster knows he might've just cost his bears a victory

time to ******* behave

so as time runs out in a sold out haas taylor is holding me wrist to ensure that her dad doesn't prematurely storm the floor & get a technical or something

love you, sweetie



the magic of cal basketball (shine bright, you & i, we're beautiful like diamonds in the sky) #
eastcoastcal
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HoopDreams said:

Back in the day of the original Monster, the Shockster was at every home game, and invited me to sit in his courtside seats. During warm-ups, the players would come by and acknowledge him with a fist bump or nod and he always had encouraging things to say. At half time he introduced me to several Cal sports luminaries including the WBB head coach.

The Shockster always brought his A game

So it wasn't a surprise when I saw him lead the court storm after the epic win over ranked Arizona in a Gold-out, packed Haas Pavillion

But I wasn't the only person in Haas who wasn't surprised. His daughter Taylor tried her best to stop him as you can see by her hand firmly holding his wrist

But he would not be denied






this is an electric pic
SRBear
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Those were the days...we could actually eclipse 50 pts without effort.
Shocky1
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paid advertisement by supercuts (happy valley road location, 15% wed groupon discounts)#
Shocky1
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don't tell nobody (particularly coach barton) but 4.0 gpa #1 ranked longsnapping generational talent future nfl pro bowler david bird is actually gene simmons of kiss

southseasbear
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Shocky1 said:


james arthur knowlton update:

attorney thomas newkirk is filing a lawsuit against the university of california, berkeley on behalf of the evil as **** teri mckeever & made the following comment:

"Jim Knowlton, why he is apologizing to athletes when he knew how Teri coached the entire time he was there is beyond me. It makes no sense."

what also makes no sense is this site not interviewing him (he is the only athletic director in the nation that has failed to make a twitter post in the last 18 months) & calling him out (the current men's basketball coach is not the root of all the problems, fox is exactly who we all thought he is)

u would have to be dumb as **** if u think knowlton is earning his annual $1,300,000+ salary & therefore donating to the athletic department to fund his paychecks

tell the con artist to **** off#
I was never crazy about Sandy. In particular, I don't think she respected our tradition. She agreed to the Big Game being scheduled in October (October!) and told us that due to scheduling issues all the rivalry games would take turns in being scheduled so early in the year. Never happened. I remember how she tired to change the Big Game rotation (from games played at home in even years to odd years) by playing in Santa Clara. On the other hand, she was accessible and was interviewed during half time on KGO at every game. Knucklehead Knowlton is rarely accessible for interviews. I tabbed him for being a coward, but maybe Shocky is right, he's just a conman attempting to evade (or at least prolong) being revealed.
Fire Knowlton!
Fire Fox!
Put Wilcox in a hot seat!
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/CUoPTZTJIpA
questions for s&c coach brian johnson:

do you feel that the granite statue lack of bend, mobility & quick twitch movements last season of cal's monster offensive line is somehow related to the type of work that you are in charge of with respects to the o-line room????

why is that the every single player in the top 8 of the o-line room's playing rotation wuz significantly injured at some point last season causing them to miss games (the season)???...or wuz that just some serious "bad luck"???

do you maintain nightly sleep logs for every player on the team???...if so, how does the o-line room stack up???...who is the best power napper on the team like shocky???

why don't u believe in yoga???

and yet ur not materially changing the o-line workouts for the current winter conditioning???

wow, r u gonna join me today for anton's nooner class (dude on the far left on stage) at modern yoga?

https://instagr.am/p/CWtReH7vSKN
don't be a dumb azz (better to palm a tight azz)#

juarezbear
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/CUoPTZTJIpA
questions for s&c coach brian johnson:

do you feel that the granite statue lack of bend, mobility & quick twitch movements last season of cal's monster offensive line is somehow related to the type of work that you are in charge of with respects to the o-line room????

why is that the every single player in the top 8 of the o-line room's playing rotation wuz significantly injured at some point last season causing them to miss games (the season)???

and yet ur not materially changing the o-line workouts for the current winter conditioning???


Very good question...I recall that when Furd had a great offensive line, they did a lot of flex work (along with a lot of roid use) and generally managed to stay healthy. I've always heard that major roid use makes athletes susceptible to injury. Anybody with better med knowledge than me have an answer?
calumnus
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southseasbear said:

Shocky1 said:


james arthur knowlton update:

attorney thomas newkirk is filing a lawsuit against the university of california, berkeley on behalf of the evil as **** teri mckeever & made the following comment:

"Jim Knowlton, why he is apologizing to athletes when he knew how Teri coached the entire time he was there is beyond me. It makes no sense."

what also makes no sense is this site not interviewing him (he is the only athletic director in the nation that has failed to make a twitter post in the last 18 months) & calling him out (the current men's basketball coach is not the root of all the problems, fox is exactly who we all thought he is)

u would have to be dumb as **** if u think knowlton is earning his annual $1,300,000+ salary & therefore donating to the athletic department to fund his paychecks

tell the con artist to **** off#
I was never crazy about Sandy. In particular, I don't think she respected our tradition. She agreed to the Big Game being scheduled in October (October!) and told us that due to scheduling issues all the rivalry games would take turns in being scheduled so early in the year. Never happened. I remember how she tired to change the Big Game rotation (from games played at home in even years to odd years) by playing in Santa Clara. On the other hand, she was accessible and was interviewed during half time on KGO at every game. Knucklehead Knowlton is rarely accessible for interviews. I tabbed him for being a coward, but maybe Shocky is right, he's just a conman attempting to evade (or at least prolong) being revealed.


Sandy just seems better in retrospect because of the depths we have sunken to now. He is so bad he has even managed to make Wyking Jones seem better in retrospect. We now think 6-6 would be a good result in football. Just having cheerleaders is an accomplishment….
southseasbear
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calumnus said:

southseasbear said:

Shocky1 said:


james arthur knowlton update:

attorney thomas newkirk is filing a lawsuit against the university of california, berkeley on behalf of the evil as **** teri mckeever & made the following comment:

"Jim Knowlton, why he is apologizing to athletes when he knew how Teri coached the entire time he was there is beyond me. It makes no sense."

what also makes no sense is this site not interviewing him (he is the only athletic director in the nation that has failed to make a twitter post in the last 18 months) & calling him out (the current men's basketball coach is not the root of all the problems, fox is exactly who we all thought he is)

u would have to be dumb as **** if u think knowlton is earning his annual $1,300,000+ salary & therefore donating to the athletic department to fund his paychecks

tell the con artist to **** off#
I was never crazy about Sandy. In particular, I don't think she respected our tradition. She agreed to the Big Game being scheduled in October (October!) and told us that due to scheduling issues all the rivalry games would take turns in being scheduled so early in the year. Never happened. I remember how she tired to change the Big Game rotation (from games played at home in even years to odd years) by playing in Santa Clara. On the other hand, she was accessible and was interviewed during half time on KGO at every game. Knucklehead Knowlton is rarely accessible for interviews. I tabbed him for being a coward, but maybe Shocky is right, he's just a conman attempting to evade (or at least prolong) being revealed.


Sandy just seems better in retrospect because of the depths we have sunken to now. He is so bad he has even managed to make Wyking Jones seem better in retrospect. We now think 6-6 would be a good result in football. Just having cheerleaders is an accomplishment….
We used to aspire for greatness. Now mere competence (even mediocrity) would be an improvement.
Fire Knowlton!
Fire Fox!
Put Wilcox in a hot seat!
HoopDreams
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Shocky1 said:


questions for s&c coach brian johnson:


why don't u believe in yoga???

and yet ur not materially changing the o-line workouts for the current winter conditioning???

wow, r u gonna join me today for anton's nooner class (dude on the far left on stage) at modern yoga?

https://instagr.am/p/CWtReH7vSKN
don't be a dumb azz (better to palm a tight azz)#



Chapman_is_Gone
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HoopDreams said:

Back in the day of the original Monster, the Shockster was at every home game, and invited me to sit in his courtside seats. During warm-ups, the players would come by and acknowledge him with a fist bump or nod and he always had encouraging things to say. At half time he introduced me to several Cal sports luminaries including the WBB head coach.

The Shockster always brought his A game

So it wasn't a surprise when I saw him lead the court storm after the epic win over ranked Arizona in a Gold-out, packed Haas Pavillion

But I wasn't the only person in Haas who wasn't surprised. His daughter Taylor tried her best to stop him as you can see by her hand firmly holding his wrist

But he would not be denied






OMG, what an ass kisser you are.

Shockey himself has posted about his game and posted the video multiple times, so that he can feed his ego. We certainly don't need you posting on his behalf.
SBGold
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Chapman_is_Gone said:

HoopDreams said:

Back in the day of the original Monster, the Shockster was at every home game, and invited me to sit in his courtside seats. During warm-ups, the players would come by and acknowledge him with a fist bump or nod and he always had encouraging things to say. At half time he introduced me to several Cal sports luminaries including the WBB head coach.

The Shockster always brought his A game

So it wasn't a surprise when I saw him lead the court storm after the epic win over ranked Arizona in a Gold-out, packed Haas Pavillion

But I wasn't the only person in Haas who wasn't surprised. His daughter Taylor tried her best to stop him as you can see by her hand firmly holding his wrist

But he would not be denied






OMG, what an ass kisser you are.

Shockey himself has posted about his game and posted the video multiple times, so that he can feed his ego. We certainly don't need you posting on his behalf.
The Shockster is one of the best fans Cal has. it's ok to celebrate him early and often
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

JB was a Chieftain said:

What is the 7 step plan when you are named AD shocky? I want to know how Cal can be saved


jb, the following 7 step plan will be completed by future athletic director andrew mcgraw during his first 30 days in office after jk is walked to his car:

1) burn all of the con artist's hockey photos/signed trading cards and fake architectural renderings of his proposed $125,000,000+ quidditch facility in the dumpster behind haas

2) cut the following men's sports thereby creating the necessary male athlete count reductions to facilitate a comparable number (135 slots) of female reductions in compliance with title ix to rightsize knowlton's current empire of 30+ teams that are financially unsustainable:

men's rugby (58 roster slots): advise bully jack clark the rugby program will move forward as a club sport

baseball (36 roster slots): advise stu gordon why this needs to happen for the overall health of the athletic department & then repurpose evans diamond for greater university needs including expansion of rsf to ensure that the athletic needs of ALL berkeley students are met

soccer (28 roster slots): nobody gives a **** about this team

cross country (13 roster slots): currently an all white team that consistently loses to bay area division 3 schools, mark fox level of ineptitude

evaluate the termination of both track teams & the impact upon black student athletes gaining admissions opportunities to berkeley and the repurposing of edwards stadium

plz note that all affected student athletes will have their schollys honored thru graduation

3) terminate mark fox & advise doug goldman & the haas family that joe pasternak (who will hire theo robertson & richard midgely as assistant coaches along with an under 25 young black coach with major upside & lou richie as an academic/life analyst and andrew payne as the director of basketball operations) will be the next head coach and ask for their support in funding a much scaled back significantly less expensive men's & women's basketball only facility (bishop o'dowd just built a similar facility for $40,000,000) and also nil support for bears basketball players

4) terminate the employment of the following worthless bureaucrats:

teri mckeever: evil as **** she's gonna sue berkeley no matter what anyways

jennifer simon-o'neil: mckeever's enabler, runs the department's unsuccessful women's programs such as volleyball, basketball, field hockey, cross country, golf, etc.

tom lowry: hired from the air force with an anti football bias

markeisha everrett: completely unqualified having never worked on the west coast or sold football/basketball tixs, abject failure to rightsize the 11 person communications dept to 2-3 staffers

5) set up advisory committees for football (shane vareen, jared goff, beastmode, cam jordan, etc.) & men's basketball (shareef abdur rahim, jason kidd, jaylen brown, lamond murray, etc.) to ensure both revenue producing teams receive the necessary funding for program excellence

6) make all football & men's basketball tickets free for students & gift them the best seats in the haas to ensure a future season tixs & major whale donor pipeline

7) appoint shocky as the recruiting/nutrition/movement director for the dance/cheer teams to ensure a solid team of curvy brunette yoga females with high gpas & tight azzs

https://instagr.am/p/B8FaO5vHD-f
the bears are off to the races (in cipriani's basement)#
7 step plan update:

*****teri mckeever is fired


*****why hasn't the con artist also fired mckeever enabler (she apparently had no idea any swimmers were yelled at or anything per her observations at practices) & absolutely worthless bureaucrat (the women's team are collectively a ****show) jennifer simon-o'neil?

every decision (or failure to make a decision) made by the con artist is predicated on what's in his best interests...he is afraid that if he makes the rightful termination of simon-o'neil she will testify against him re: his knowledge of the suicidal women's swimmers & dismissal/cover up of their issues


*****what is knowlton waiting for in reclassifying rugby as a club sport?

a major basketball floor seat donor just sent me an excerpt of his recent email to someone:

"Rugby. There are like 10 colleges that even play. Some nobody's heard of. Most places we plow. Like clubbing baby seals. Just beat UCSB 115-5. If we could poach 3 dozen guys from the Wilcox football team and get them trained by pros who know the game they would demolish Cal ruggers within 6 weeks. They're all the guys who couldn't cut it in football. I'm sure they would all do great against Jaydn Ott. And yet we are all supposed to celebrate Jack Clark and all the nattys. Again and again."


*****basketball update: the con artist is meeting with the diminishing # of basketball donors & tryna blackmail them to buyout the head coach...meanwhile there is a false narrative being pushed that fox is liked & respected by the players...this is absolutely FALSE based upon direct conversations with multiple players' former coaches & family members, this is not my opinion but rather a fact...this donor solicitation is not being well received which is gonna result in knowlton either doing nothing (and basically killing men's basketball) or spending athletic department dollars (which finances his $1,300,000+ annual salary) to terminate the unlikeable fox

Shocky1
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SBGold said:


The Shockster is one of the best fans Cal has. it's ok to celebrate him early and often
thx goldy, the monster actually asked hoop dreams to post that foto which appeared on the front pages of the sf chronicle's sports section & also the espn college basketball online news coverage

but it is true that shocky is sometimes a kiss azz

https://instagr.am/p/CUsu44lP_1B

go bares (clothes r for losers)#
juarezbear
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SBGold said:

Chapman_is_Gone said:

HoopDreams said:

Back in the day of the original Monster, the Shockster was at every home game, and invited me to sit in his courtside seats. During warm-ups, the players would come by and acknowledge him with a fist bump or nod and he always had encouraging things to say. At half time he introduced me to several Cal sports luminaries including the WBB head coach.

The Shockster always brought his A game

So it wasn't a surprise when I saw him lead the court storm after the epic win over ranked Arizona in a Gold-out, packed Haas Pavillion

But I wasn't the only person in Haas who wasn't surprised. His daughter Taylor tried her best to stop him as you can see by her hand firmly holding his wrist

But he would not be denied






OMG, what an ass kisser you are.

Shockey himself has posted about his game and posted the video multiple times, so that he can feed his ego. We certainly don't need you posting on his behalf.
The Shockster is one of the best fans Cal has. it's ok to celebrate him early and often

Would that be the mysterious Shocky in the white shirt and bro cap?
Shocky1
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yes, plus there are more fotos of me & driscoll that are now posted at most post offices in san diego county

we both wanted in 2 states, can't move wrong

stood on 10 paws, we stood tall tho they prayed on our downfalls#
tpender
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Did Shocky ever play a sport in college?
Shocky1
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tpender, shocky wuz too busy to be on a team with his 3.92 haas biz ad school degree (and phi beta kappa honors) while paying his way thru berkeley with a pretty successful personal services biz...it should also be noted that my 1st girlfriend at cal wuz later in playboy's girls of the pac 10 issue with a shaved marsupial kinda visible

usta to keep that issue on my coffee table as a conversation piece until it wuz pointed out to be that wuz not a very classy or enlightened move, yeah shocky is sometimes a dumb azz
https://tidal.com/browse/video/30041488
tpender
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thought so
Shocky1
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tpender said:

thought so
tpender, maybe you could clear this up for me, where exactly is life university???
tpender
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Georgia
Shocky1
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thx u
Shocky1
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tpender, what would be the downside to rugby transitioning to a club sport, couldn't the program still compete for national championships with the same roster size & travel arrangements?
Shocky1
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don't look like modern yoga to me (sorry kaylin & jeremiah)#
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