cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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9:47p, 5/1/23

calveston (while i watch the cannons flashing)#
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Shocky1
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5:29a, 5/2/23



fun cal's monster class contest:

can anyone name this golf hole?...helpful clues, this is not half moon bay, galveston municipal or tuscon country club...why is shocky (this is the only belt he owns) doing the "c" hand thingy backwards, wut a ******* dumb azz (that 100% lacks spatial spavital awareness)



flat yoga abs r sexy as ****#
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juarezbear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:33a, 5/2/23
Shocky1 said:



fun cal's monster class contest:

can anyone name this golf hole?...helpful clues, this is not half moon bay, galveston municipal or tuscon country club...why is shocky (this is the only belt he owns) doing the "c" hand thingy backwards, wut a ******* dumb azz (that 100% lacks spatial spavital awareness)



flat yoga abs r sexy as ****#
Pebble Beach #6?
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tequila4kapp
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:44a, 5/2/23
Shocky1 said:
as expected colorado transfer guard jake willey took 1 official visit & committed to ucla
Interesting implications...

He is good enough for UCLA but not good enough for PrimeTime
OR
He was good enough but left of his own accord because he's not digging what PT is laying down.
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tequila4kapp
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:46a, 5/2/23
It isn't anything at Bandon and I'm pretty sure it isn't Pebble.
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WavyBear
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12:40p, 5/2/23
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Jeff82
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In reply to tequila4kapp • 1:39p, 5/2/23
tequila4kapp said:
It isn't anything at Bandon and I'm pretty sure it isn't Pebble.
Probably one of the courses in New Zealand.
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wifeisafurd
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In reply to tequila4kapp • 3:33p, 5/2/23
tequila4kapp said:
It isn't anything at Bandon and I'm pretty sure it isn't Pebble.
Torrey Pines South 4 or North 16?
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Shocky1
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4:33p, 5/2/23
asia

dom arigato#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:51p, 5/2/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CNlmQS0H_jg
cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

editor's note of clarification: the bears r recruiting the person on the left (tho avery is always welcome in berkeley) in the above foto

coach bloesch has extended an actionable offer to this weekend's official visitor texas a&m transfer 6'6" 330 lbs matthew wykoff from magnolia texas (kinda near woodlands country club), wykoff would immediately compete this summer for a potential starting position on the outside in the bear's o-line room with 3 years of remaining eligibility

wykoff redshirted his 1st year in college station & played in 12 games last season including 9 starts, he's a coach bloesch kinda trench worker winning the aggies offensive unselfish team leadership award at the season ending banquet

matthew is not a dumb azz, he's been named to the sec all academic honor roll in business administration, yeah the haas b-school is one of the top undergraduate schools on planet earth for those who wanna build generational wealth both on the field & also thru intellectual capitalistim

the university of calveston=#1 ranked public university in the world (with golden gate seabirds flying in the sun)

https://instagr.am/p/CYLO3GsuHV4

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM ******* BOOOOOOMMMMMM

calveston's monster offensive line commitment

what do u call a texas lineman (who never wants to get a call from avery in wichita) who starts 9 ******* games in the SEC as a true freshman & that got the high gpa & academic ambition to also compete in the classrooms of berkeley???????????????

A UNICORN

shocky & coach bloesch r tired of undersized candy azz soft o-line play with chill cali vibes, we are bringing texans to berkeley, yes sir, let's pursue smashmouth trench work by young men that r mentally limitless



we're going to disneyworld (with intellectual capitalism)#
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bearsandgiants
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:05p, 5/2/23
Shocky1 said:



fun cal's monster class contest:

can anyone name this golf hole?...helpful clues, this is not half moon bay, galveston municipal or tuscon country club...why is shocky (this is the only belt he owns) doing the "c" hand thingy backwards, wut a ******* dumb azz (that 100% lacks spatial spavital awareness)



flat yoga abs r sexy as ****#


C for thee?
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Shocky1
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9:53p, 5/2/23

hunter barth is not a dumb azz (ernie garcia's future ceo in waiting at caravana)#
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Shocky1
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10:19p, 5/2/23
https://instagr.am/p/CrwN6z0J5Ql
welcome 6'5" 180 lbs multiple skillset wing keonte kennedy from westlake high school in austin

kennedy gotta lotta family support & a legit jersey collection with gear from his stops at xavier, utep & last season memphis, this will be his 6th season & final year of eligibility

https://instagr.am/p/Cnx8bQMtIkK
checking out keonte's career stats, wut's impressive is that there's been a steady trend of improved 3 point shooting: 25.7% to 24% to 31.9% to 38.1%...that's a clear indication that this is someone who is dedicated to improving his craft & that's kinda important for a program that couldn't score 50+ points in most games last season

yeah for keonte the hussle is forever


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including hill country)
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Shocky1
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10:43p, 5/2/23

san mateo fightin' benjis (aka hogs for spav)#
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Shocky1
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10:58p, 5/2/23
cal's monster class commitment:


welcome 6'6" 270 lbs apex predator edge defender tidiane "frenchy" jalloh from toulon france & most recently independence community college in kansas

frenchy moves well in space kinda with length kinda like kuony deng, this is an important addition to coach so'oto's room with foot speed & violence off the edge

yeah a mama's boy on a mission that will not be denied is the most dangerous person on planet earth


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the french riviera, clothes r for losers)
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:12p, 5/2/23
Shocky1 said:

6'3" 230 lbs receiving threat tight end var'keyes gumms from north texas state offered within minutes of entering the portal by his former te coach plough

gumms set mean green tight records for receptions (34) & yards (458 yards), the current bears tight ends are not vertical threats in the passing game


but much importantly var'keyes wuz the homecoming king at dekaney high school in houston back in the day



var'keyes, if global warming continues the only creatures that are gonna still be living in houston in the summertime are them nasty blood sucking insects & **** like that



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the lone star state)

wut up vark'keyes?

rite now the bears got the slowest tight end room in the pac 12, these guys are physical & can block but got zero footspeed

ur decision to decommit from arkansas a couple of days ago wuz a 50 year decision...ur not a dumb azz, u know ur not gonna be playing football forever, intellectual capitalism is kinda important in building generational wealth both on & off the field

u would be a difference maker in the cali sunshine & yeah leave the ******* insect repellent spray for 7 inch monster bugs back in houston
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Shocky1
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12:07a, 5/3/23

official visitor to berkeley this upcoming weekend
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Shocky1
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6:44a, 5/3/23

why does the monster love & respect cal's monster offensive line?

tho we're still in the throes of a remarkable transition from lousy to great on the football field led by our king of the hill coach mike bloesch, there can be no denying there is absolutely remarkable leadership from brian driscoll & matthew cindric (who like shocky is also a haas biz ad grad, that's kinda like a winning lottery tix in life but lazy dumb azzs need not apply) in the o-line room

coach martin usta say "you gotta go thru something to get something in life"

yeah the trench workers are ******* heroes both on & off the field


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that are difference makers in improving the lives of those less fortunate which includes doggys)

let's ******* go (and meaningfully help the most vulnerable)#

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Shocky1
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In reply to Big C • 7:10a, 5/3/23
Big C said:


How many tight ends have "elite separation speed", seriously?
vak'keyes gumms

speed kills (and lack of speed in the tight end room also kills)#
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7:36a, 5/3/23
Quote:


jaylon tyson will take an official trip to the truck stop town of lawrence this weekend arriving friday & departing sunday during which time coach prime's slippery white brother from another mother will selfishly downplay the importance of a college degree in a fiercely competitive global economy that favors the well educated from elite institutions like cal, stanford & the ivy league while walking the tyson family thru the tricked out basketball dorm/5 star hotel which includes a barber shop & a bowling alley because nothing in recruiting is more impressive to a young man making a life impacting decision with 50 year benefits/consequences is ephemeral eye candy that won't mean **** once ur injured or the basketball stops bouncing at which point ur 100% ****** and then their is the full realization that a mind is a terrible thing to waste but by then it's too ******* late & ur the night shift supervisor at the truck stop off the k-10 where u work really long retail hours for not much money because ur basically a discarded factory at that point cuz the 3 man weave is not really a marketplace valued skill & the nil dollars have long been spent and then u marry a lot lizard with cfm pumps until such time that u contract stds from her and then die a slow & painful death colored by regrets of a lifetime

or u can storm the floor with shocky & my yoga buddy jaylen at the #1 ranked public university in the world, we all got star stuff

-shocky "faulkner" schulz

https://instagr.am/p/Cm4nv1MP6Tg
"supposedly jt, everyone on our team, ima working"-devin askew
https://www.instagram.com/stories/babydev/3094049463194987480/

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Shocky1
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8:39a, 5/3/23
https://instagr.am/p/CrgQpmvAM4O
kat (played golf at pepperdine) & colin (shoes r for losers) just built a new house near their home course/practice facility at the summit club in las vegas which is a michael meldman (whose outrageous house parties in beverly hills r legendary) discovery land project, architecturally it is a well conditioned above average fazio cartball course without a tight walkable routing but some of the most amazing "comfort stations" (add 5,000+ calories to the experience)

yeah colin is yet another example of a haas biz ad school grad (just ask future head coach in waiting mike saffell) that built generational wealth thru intellectual capitalism

he can probably afford some kicks or something

don't be a dumb azz (what's ur gpa?)#
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juarezbear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:04a, 5/3/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CrgQpmvAM4O
kat (played golf at pepperdine) & colin (shoes r for losers) just built a new house near their home course/practice facility at the summit club in las vegas which is a michael meldman (whose outrageous house parties in beverly hills r legendary) discovery land project, architecturally it is a well conditioned above average fazio cartball course without a tight walkable routing but some of the most amazing "comfort stations" (add 5,000+ calories to the experience)

yeah colin is yet another example of a haas biz ad school grad (just ask future head coach in waiting mike saffell) that built generational wealth thru intellectual capitalism

he can probably afford some kicks or something

don't be a dumb azz (what's ur gpa?)#
Both great swings! I'm taking some pointers about rotating the core then letting the hips drive the follow-thru.

#don't be a hacker
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10:47a, 5/3/23
hollywood, collin's pre round warm up routine includes significant stretching & yoga movements, too bad the cal fb s&c coach johnson don't respond to my email offers to set up a zoom call with my yoga buddy jaylen brown re: the benefits of yoga/meditation which basically resulted in last season's cal's monster offensive line moving like wounded valium conked out granite statutes with limited flex, bend & quick twitch movements
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wifeisafurd
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:08a, 5/3/23
Shocky1 said:
hollywood, collin's pre round warm up routine includes significant stretching & yoga movements, too bad the cal fb s&c coach johnson don't respond to my email offers to set up a zoom call with my yoga buddy jaylen brown re: the benefits of yoga/meditation which basically resulted in last season's cal's monster offensive line moving like wounded valium conked out granite statutes with limited flex, bend & quick twitch movements
golf is incredibly hard on the back due to rotations of hips while in a crouch. Post back surgery (spine) I have been cleared for skiing for over 6 months now, but still not to take a full swing. My PT includes tons of stretching, core, pilates and yoga. The other thing about modern good golfers is they conditioning. They work their core, legs, glutes, etc. and above all maintain flexibility. Take a look at Kat''s bulging quads and hamstrings: that is power to the golf swing.
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Shocky1
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11:19a, 5/3/23
wifey+yoga=holistic health

back on the links soon#

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juarezbear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:34a, 5/3/23
Shocky1 said:
hollywood, collin's pre round warm up routine includes significant stretching & yoga movements, too bad the cal fb s&c coach johnson don't respond to my email offers to set up a zoom call with my yoga buddy jaylen brown re: the benefits of yoga/meditation which basically resulted in last season's cal's monster offensive line moving like wounded valium conked out granite statutes with limited flex, bend & quick twitch movements
Indeed! I take Pilates twice a week and always stretch before playing. Really helps with the right lower back which takes the brunt of the golf swing when done properly. It's amazing how fit all the golfers are today compared to my high school and college days when training meant nights in Juarez chugging cans of Tecate with lime and salt on the rim followed by tequila shots.
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Shocky1
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5:23p, 5/3/23


dating cal, ucla or stanford female graduates:

back in the day shocky's gf at cal wuz a psychology major (she tole me that i wuz "a crockpot of contradictions") from national city, yeah she wuz a smokeshow & she eventually broke up with me cuz she wuz on academic probation "because of all the time we're spending together," yeah shocky got walked to his car (she later appeared bottomless in a hot tub for playboy's girls of the pac 10 issue)



my attitude these days is forks up & ****

https://instagr.am/p/CTNGReiA_1o
makes me kinda feel sorry for olivia's husband (shut up, shocky)#

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Shocky1
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7:00p, 5/3/23

congrats to new s&c coach sebastian hernandez on making the move from utah valley state to cal to keep the continuity thing going in berkeley (the monster wuz wrong thinking it would be scott thom)...the miami native also worked at florida state

hopefully he believes in yoga/meditation more than the football s&c coach who is stuck in a 1950s movie

look, don't tell nobody but he's also starred as the abuelita in camila cabello's havana, sebastian gotta lotta skills

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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:56p, 5/3/23
Shocky1 said:

the university of california, berkeley gotta satellite campus in houston for those students who prefer nasty azz humid as **** summers & freezing azz cold winters and r afraid of the pacific coast beaches (maybe they can't swim or something) & curvy brunette yoga females (clothes r for losers) that actually read book & **** like that

go coogs (to the left coast)#


important news update for those student athletes that have played football/basketball at texas, houston, north texas, texas a&m and texas tech:

the us american map makers are remaking all maps with a new location now called "calveston" to further education in countries such as iraq and so forth



closer (to san francisco, the napa valley, silicon valley, the golden gate bridge & the pacific coast highway)#

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Shocky1
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6:42a, 5/4/23

congrats to the cal men's golf team returning to the ncca regionals for the 1st time in a while, this will be an important development competition for the program against elite teams

the bears drew a very favorable ncca selection draw as they get to stay home & play the nearby institute in morgan hill, an uber private course owned by john fry (electronics) that is immaculately maintained but only a slightly above average design architecturally speaking other than the fun risk/reward drivable par 4 over a pond

cal is the 10th seed in the 13 team field, the top 5 move on to the ncca finals here in north scottsdale at greyhawk which is 5 minutes down the hill from schulzie's tree fort

junior sampson zheng (economics major) is the clearcut team leader with an impressive 69.6 stroke average & selection to the prestigious arnold palmer cup (international team)

fellow junior aaron du (public health major) got a 71.53 stroke average & won in hawaii this season along with a recent en fuego 63 at the magical pasatiempo

the big surprise (at least to the monster) this season has been the strong play of the relatively unheralded cali freshmen duo of daniel heo with a 71.95 average & lefty fashionista nathan wang with a 72.25 average

this season's #5 player has been a battle between johnny miller's grandson sophomore simon kwon (72.85) & asu transfer jeewon park (73.19)

but **** is gonna get real next season with one of the nation's best recruiting classes with arguably the #1 ranked player eric lee (fullerton) & top 10 player ethan fang (plano texas) arriving in berkeley
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oscarsBBurger
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9:18a, 5/4/23
Bears just landed Marcus Scott out of the portal from Mizzou!
6ft 185lb CB
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:30a, 5/4/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/Cn77hdOuOC_
cal football official visit weekend recruiting update:

the unlicensed cali law firm of brown, watson & brown (along with feisty new associate drayden) have extended an actionable takers offer to missouri transfer 5'11" 180 lbs cornerback marcus scott ii from conroe high school in houston

scott got elite wheels/footspeed with a personal best 10.9 in the 100m, he took a medical redshirt last season & got 4 years of eligiblity

marcus is not a dumb azz, he currently got a 3.3 gpa as a finance & banking major at missouri, he's another legit haas b school candidate...he's also done volunteer work at the woodlands children's museum & also been named the woodland's rotary club student of the year

scott is from an exceptional family of high achievers, dad marcus sr played defensive back at oklahoma back in the day & his sister reagan (a soccer player) has been accepted into the university of north carolina's academically elite 2023 medical education development (med) program

best of all marcus is a mommy's boy like shocky, all praise to moms robin in her son's quest to make her proud

https://instagr.am/p/CreZxHKOQRl
the university of california, berkeley=#2 tied (with stanford) ranked overall university in the united states
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/
https://instagr.am/p/Cr08Aigu2bM
it's goooood to the kinggggg!!!#
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wifeisafurd
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In reply to oscarsBBurger • 9:34a, 5/4/23
oscarsBBurger said:
Bears just landed Marcus Scott out of the portal from Mizzou!
6ft 185lb CB
D-back U? How many good DBs is Cal stockpiling?
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oscarsBBurger
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In reply to wifeisafurd • 9:47a, 5/4/23
"It just shows and is a testament of what kind of coaching staff and what type of program you have at Cal how you're teaching your players, how you're trying to develop them. To have a safety drafted in each of the last four years and to be on an active roster on a team I don't know what more information you need to prove to you that Cal is a place to go to if you need to go to the NFL and have aspirations of going to the NFL and playing defensive back."

-Daniel Scott
STURDY GOLDEN BEAR
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Shocky1
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10:00a, 5/4/23
cal's monster offensive line back in the day recruited player update:

former bears offensive tackle recruiting target austin barry from riverside wuz recently sat down by new asu offensive line coach saga tuitele & tole he got 2 choices: 1) enter the transfer portal & coach would help him find a new home or 2) stay on scholly with the sun devils but not participate in any football program activities until his graduation...austin really like tempe so he's gonna retire from football & earn a diploma

sign of the times (forks up)#
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