burnski, me & minko stinko got **** going on today (taylor flew into town from nyc), maybe tomorrow



https://instagr.am/p/ChC3OpLDShk
clothes r for losers#

welcome to berkeley#

Shocky1 said:

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On our way home from his procedure and run in to some of our favorites @browning_coach and @Coach_Sooto in the Houston Airport! Good signs coming from all around! Go Bears! @CoachAT23 @CalFootball #fightlikebryson #protectlikebrock #footballfamily #epilepsywarrior pic.twitter.com/ng0M4Q4FDr

— Helmets4Helmets (@Helmets4Helmets) April 28, 2023

this is the cal/texas pipeline#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including calveston)

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Love coach So'oto but he needs a sweatshirt that says Cal not Berkeley.

6956bear said:

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Shocky1 said:

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On our way home from his procedure and run in to some of our favorites @browning_coach and @Coach_Sooto in the Houston Airport! Good signs coming from all around! Go Bears! @CoachAT23 @CalFootball #fightlikebryson #protectlikebrock #footballfamily #epilepsywarrior pic.twitter.com/ng0M4Q4FDr

— Helmets4Helmets (@Helmets4Helmets) April 28, 2023

this is the cal/texas pipeline#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including calveston)

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Love coach So'oto but he needs a sweatshirt that says Cal not Berkeley.

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California

They is everywhere. S/O to Arizona 🎶: Vell pic.twitter.com/20IT3XqnzP

— Aristotle Thompson (@CoachAT23) April 28, 2023

arizona state university=#1 ranked smokeshow stripper university on planet earth (for curvy brunette yoga females that wanna date & marry cal, stanford & ivy league grads when they get in the real world)



forks up (at modern yoga)#

Quote:

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Quote:

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WRECK 'em, Tech! 🖤 pic.twitter.com/4T31DZaE1s

— NCA (@NCAupdates) April 7, 2023

brenley is a +1 athlete (yoga/dance not cheerleading matters)#

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brenley, back in the day when jaylen brown & ivan rabb wuz recruited by kansas the jayhawks assistant coaches let both guys know that one of the "benefits" of the tricked out 5 star "lawrence ritz carlton" aka the mccarthy hall with its barber shop, built in theatre & basketball practice facility for 38 male athletes is that there is a constant flow of kansas female undergrads that like to do "the hang" in the lounge after 10:00 pm

does ur bf need study buddies?#

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https://instagr.am/p/Cb2xIT1r8G3
Dear Mr. Schulz:

As the lead counsel for the University of Kansas and also the Chairman of the Downtown Lawrence Beautification Project, please be advised that we take exception with your extreme mischaracterizations of our University, Community and the Jayhawks Basketball Program.

If you do not immediately cease and desist in making any further slanderous commentary, we will be left with no other course of action other than to bring the full weight of the United States of American constitution against you, your rescue doggys & any yoga teachers/students that might be affiliated with you.

Your inaccurate commentary includes but is not limited to the following:

*****The University of Kansas is very proud of our most current Forbes rankings of #165 which is up 3 spots due to our academic progress in elevating the outplacement services of our highly regarded truck stop diesel engine repair and also entrepreneurial vending machine majors.

*****Not everyone in Lawrence Kansas is White as you've stated, in fact almost 100% of our Basketball teams & Black Studies majors are indeed Black.

*****Jaylon's girlfriend Brenley should have no health concerns re: the nightly "study buddy" program at McCarthy Hall, all 38 of our semi pro athletes living in this residence are checked weekly for fatal STDs by University Health Services and medically treated on a high priority basis.

*****We take the protection of women as an institutional mandate, in fact today's commitment of Texas portal transfer Arterio Morris who has pending criminal charges from June of 2022 in Frisco Texas for assaulting his girlfriend included a pinky swear promise to Coach Self that he will never do that again.

*****Coach Self is an educator at heart, he teaches his players how to properly stow their guns in cars, how to properly interact with law enforcement (just hand them 2 tixs to future Jayhawks games) & the importance of staying focused on developing basketball skills while blocking any out unnecessary distractions such as academics (in particular reading books), family, girlfriends, community service, etc.

You are hereby warned, Mr. Schulz.

Rock Chalk Talk Caulk!

Robby "Cheesecake" Whitemore, Esq.

this is kansas basketball (criminal felony vs misdemeanor charges)#

Shocky1 said:

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coach bloesch is working to build a blue collar relentless work ethic culture & that's not gonna be everybody's thing particularly those that are more comfortable with a chill cali laid back vibe

cal's monster offensive line is gonna require 100% trench workers#

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ELITE Dudes only! We know who and where you are! 🐻🐻 pic.twitter.com/5xzjskOsd2

— Mike Bloesch (@MikeBloesch) April 26, 2023

free weekend vacay in boulder for the trench workers#

fun fact: they tell a lot of funny lies at sketchy time share sales pitches for tired azz down non prime condos that got leaky faucets & broken windows with views of nothing that u wanna see in the future

trench workers r not dumb azzs

do u believe in unicorns?#

calveston, oh calveston
i am so afraid of being uneducated in today's fiercely competitive global economy
before i dry the tears she's crying
before i watch your golden gate sea birds flying in the sun
at calveston, at calveston

Dreams coming true 🙏🐻#GoBears | #ProBears pic.twitter.com/YsVf5kO4I0

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) April 29, 2023

https://instagr.am/p/CoizYpipUg6

cam'ron johnson not in boulder, in tempe tonite on an official visit

Thank you !! to @impactoned for the thoughtful words on mental health on younger kids this is big topic in our world today and needs to be talked about more. pic.twitter.com/q00MDVHegN

— jordyn tyson (@tyson_jordyn) April 13, 2023

jaylon tyson kansas official visit recruiting update:

the truck stop quik trick to lawrence is wrapping up without a commitment, dad john is contemplating additional official visits (already tripped to cal & kansas) & colorado wide receiver transfer portal brother jordyn met with the jayhawks football coaches

angulations#

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Second play of the game and Ole Miss commit @DortchMarquez takes off. @TheCountyFtbl @RayCray06 pic.twitter.com/IRxQgSMkDl

— Michael Dugan (@MDuganTV) October 9, 2021

6' 170 lbs mississipi state transfer wide receiver marquez "mojo" dortch from george county high school in lucedale mississippi gonna take an official visit to berkeley this weekend

the speedster wuz originally a commit to ole miss & still got 4 years of eligibility, mojo gotta huge upside

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the deep south)

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@CalFootball 📍 pic.twitter.com/m7ZPqCmCcj

— Marquez Dortch (Mojo) (@DortchMarquez) April 28, 2023

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Had a great time in Berkeley California! @CalFootball pic.twitter.com/7ric4EHJwB

— Marquez Dortch (Mojo) (@DortchMarquez) April 30, 2023

Quote:

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https://instagr.am/p/CVttSOCPkGv
go bears (with a curvy brunette yoga female)#

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wut up, jalen, did u put any strawberry jam on ur toast this morning?

look, if shocky wuz the cal athletic director (instead of the corrupt con artist) we would've already completed the scholly transfer trade for tay with lumberjacks starting qb kai milner, ok?

go jacks (to forest highlands)#

linebacker mykyle soto into the transfer portal, no berkeley degree

Best thing I've seen at the World Cup so far pic.twitter.com/wTB6SyzPLI

— Gecko🦋❤ (@AcevenGecko) December 9, 2022

right now the bears got 34 scholly departures

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement
kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer
ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer
orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona
patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii...no berkeley degree
henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
mykyle soto, outside linebacker...portal...no berkeley degree
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
trey paster, linebacker...portal as grad transfer
fatu iosefa, safety...portal...no berkeley degree
kaleb higgins, corner back...portal...no berkeley degree
ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu
spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas
ryan lange, guard...football retirement
jackson brown, tackle..portal to pitt...no berkeley degree
elijah mojarro, tight end...portal as grad transfer
nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer
keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
j michael sturdivant, wide receiver...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
justin richard baker, wide receiver...medical retirement
aiden lee, wide receiver...portal...no berkeley degree
ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
chris street, running back...portal...no berkeley degree
damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state...no berkeley degree
decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer portal to asu
slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu
dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu
jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville
kai milner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree
zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer

https://instagr.am/p/CNlmQS0H_jg
cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

editor's note of clarification: the bears r recruiting the person on the left (tho avery is always welcome in berkeley) in the above foto

coach bloesch has extended an actionable offer to this weekend's official visitor texas a&m transfer 6'6" 330 lbs matthew wykoff from magnolia texas (kinda near woodlands country club), wykoff would immediately compete this summer for a potential starting position on the outside in the bear's o-line room with 3 years of remaining eligibility

wykoff redshirted his 1st year in college station & played in 12 games last season including 9 starts, he's a coach bloesch kinda trench worker winning the aggies offensive unselfish team leadership award at the season ending banquet

matthew is not a dumb azz, he's been named to the sec all academic honor roll in business administration, yeah the haas b-school is one of the top undergraduate schools on planet earth for those who wanna build generational wealth both on the field & also thru intellectual capitalistim

the university of calveston=#1 ranked public university in the world (with golden gate seabirds flying in the sun)

https://instagr.am/p/CYLO3GsuHV4

https://instagr.am/p/Cn77hdOuOC_
cal football official visit weekend recruiting update:

the unlicensed cali law firm of brown, watson & brown (along with feisty new associate drayden) have extended an actionable takers offer to missouri transfer 5'11" 180 lbs cornerback marcus scott ii from conroe high school in houston

scott got elite wheels/footspeed with a personal best 10.9 in the 100m, he took a medical redshirt last season & got 4 years of eligiblity

marcus is not a dumb azz, he currently got a 3.3 gpa as a finance & banking major at missouri, he's another legit haas b school candidate...he's also done volunteer work at the woodlands children's museum & also been named the woodland's rotary club student of the year

scott is from an exceptional family of high achievers, dad marcus sr played defensive back at oklahoma back in the day & his sister reagan (a soccer player) has been accepted into the university of north carolina's academically elite 2023 medical education development (med) program

best of all marcus is a mommy's boy like shocky, all praise to moms robin in her son's quest to make her proud

https://instagr.am/p/CreZxHKOQRl
the university of california, berkeley=#2 tied (with stanford) ranked overall university in the united states
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

Greatly appreciate the hospitality at my OV @CalFootball #uncommitted #GoBears pic.twitter.com/N50GGtDWbV

— 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕦𝕤 𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥 𝕀𝕀❌ (@MarcusScottII1) May 1, 2023

marcus got good hair#

Econ141 said:

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KRAKEN!!!!! BOOM!!!! 🦑🦑🦑

— Marshall Cherrington (@MWCherrington) May 1, 2023

?

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He's just a Seattle Kraken fan (hockey).

#SEAKRAKEN ADVANCE!!!

AND THEY SAID IT COULDN’T BE DONE 😏 pic.twitter.com/uRcyK7X5aE

— x - Seattle Kraken (@SeattleKraken) May 1, 2023

Quote:

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His season is over but ⁦@UVUmbb⁩ 7-0 sophomore @abdoublvdo made enormous strides this season & has a pro future. Kudos to ⁦@nbaacademy Africa & Technical Director Roland Houston for their early mentorship of the young guy. Alien athleticism. pic.twitter.com/JGAgr11K12

— Fran Fraschilla (@franfraschilla) March 29, 2023

the monster thru the years has emphasized that basketball (and football) games are won by elite +1 athletes

in speaking the last 2 weeks with multiple nba scouts, aziz bandaogo is an unforgettable +2 athlete



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the entire beautiful continent of africa)

---

aziz is the necessary piece of the puzzle to compete for a national championship, he is the game changing catalyst defensively that wins tough games on the road in hostile venues against elite competition on nights the shots aren't dropping

aziz bandaogo is an unreal +2 athlete

😮 pic.twitter.com/uLwRR4lZhw

— UVU Men’s Basketball (@UVUmbb) March 10, 2023

Last Chance CU

🚨BREAKING: Michael Meadows will transfer to Cal-Berkeley

He averaged 11.3 points, 2.8 rebounds, 2.3 assists, on 46./37/77 shooting splits last season at Portland

The Bears have also added:
Texas Tech, Center Fardaws Aimaq
NAU, Guard Jalen Cone @TheAthleticCBB pic.twitter.com/Mwdr07aGzz

— Tobias Bass (@tobias_bass) May 1, 2023

6'2" 175 lbs portland voo doo donuts transfer michael meadows with the commitment to coach mad dog, meadows got one year of remaining eligibility for the hollywood native from campbell hall high school

mike is not a dumb azz, he is a multiple time big sky all academic team honoree & is majoring in organizational communication which sounds kinda like being an anti house hoarder consultant or something

meadows had a back injury that cut his 2021 season short but last season performed with high shooting percentages at all 3 levels including a 39 point let if fly dominating performance against a strong santa clara team with notably zero turnovers

the bears the last 6 seasons have been plagued by guard turnovers (often unforced), meadows got a reputation for an excellent handle which is reflected in his low turnover average last season of 1.1 which is excellent for someone touching the ball a lot...this addition not only improves ball handling but also crooked azz shooting issues

https://instagr.am/p/CiymgjJr9gk
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world

100% this is a solid addition to the cal basketball program

below is repost from back in the day when the monster & his daughter taylor (mark meadows will be interested in knowing she now lives in soho) made a recruiting trip on behalf of cal's monster class to portlandia
______________________________________________________________

taylor & i power walked from the nines thru chinatown & past a crowd of 100+ non yoga practicing chunkys waiting outside of voodoo doughnuts & then across the steel bridge over the willamette river to the moda center & back again after the 2015 nike hoop summit...them doughnuts sure looked tasty but if kameron rooks can core out, we can too




it should be noted that the game was played with international rules, 2 of the refs spoke to each other in a an eastern bloc language, with very few fouls & pushing on every sequence...also the game was impacted by selfish guard play that dominated the ball

taylor & i sat on the floor behind the basket & yelled at ivan during warm ups "hey ivan, let's do this" (me) & "go to the bears, ivan" (taylor) and he glanced over with a surprised look ("what are they doing here?) and smiled with a quick nod

we also yelled at jaylen brown, he responded with what could be best described as a laughing smirk

players notes:

ivan rabb: not many touches, competed underneath the basket for rebounds & blocked thon maker a couple of times...started the game with a leg brace & then left the game for good after a vicious poke in the eyes

jaylen brown: what an athlete, the best defender in the game with numerous disruptions of passes...offensively drained shots from all over the court ala patrick christopher during warm ups...nba body with a physical & graceful style of play...like ivan, very unselfish in sharing the ball

alonzo trier: followed up his 6-20 shooting at the mcdonalds game with 4-14 shooting at the nike summit...the arizona commit lacks court vision & jacks up the ball without even looking for his teammates, he's gonna shoot the wildcats out of games next season in tucson...life with sean miller is gonna be a rude awakening for trier

luke kennard: the best facilitator on the usa team, the duke commit is an absolute pure shooter with a mature shot selection (9-18 fgs) & much quicker defensively than anticipated

caleb swanigan: plays very physically but still needs major s&c conditioning...his low release point shooting form along with limited hops resulted in several of his shots being blocked by the uber high flying bigs on the world team before he was eventually benched

jamal murray: impressive guard from canada with a relentless basket attacking mode scored a game high 30 points...usa guards most notably allonzo trier played fundamentally weak azz d (reaching with arms, not moving feet) in ineffectively trying to guard murray...the canadian guard from ontario is looking to potentially reclassify from 2016 to 2015 and a nike sr employee told me his dad is leaning towards criminal dana altman's oregon ducks

ben simmons: most well rounded player in the game with 13 points, 8 rebound & 8 assists

skal labissiere: the guy nba scouts like the most from the 2015 class, skal scored 21 points along with 8 boards...the kentucky donor we sat by told me that coach cal told him that marcus lee is gonna return to lexington again next season, gotta have them practice players & that skal may not be cleared by the ncaa

brenden glapion: much to taylor's chagrin, the pride of washington high school dnp...sorry sweetie


https://bearinsider.com/forums/8/topics/11616/175

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Second play of the game and Ole Miss commit @DortchMarquez takes off. @TheCountyFtbl @RayCray06 pic.twitter.com/IRxQgSMkDl

— Michael Dugan (@MDuganTV) October 9, 2021

6' 170 lbs mississipi state transfer wide receiver marquez "mojo" dortch from george county high school in lucedale mississippi gonna take an official visit to berkeley this weekend

the speedster wuz originally a commit to ole miss & still got 4 years of eligibility, mojo gotta huge upside

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the deep south)

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@CalFootball 📍 pic.twitter.com/m7ZPqCmCcj

— Marquez Dortch (Mojo) (@DortchMarquez) April 28, 2023

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Had a great time in Berkeley California! @CalFootball pic.twitter.com/7ric4EHJwB

— Marquez Dortch (Mojo) (@DortchMarquez) April 30, 2023

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AGTG‼️I’m a 100% committed to the University of California @CalFootball @CoachToler pic.twitter.com/trpUH6xRVJ

— Marquez Dortch (Mojo) (@DortchMarquez) May 1, 2023

let's ******* go, mojo (in the cali sunshine)#

as expected colorado transfer guard jake willey took 1 official visit & committed to ucla

Shocky1 said:

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bearister, the shockster along with colin morikawa, max homa, james hahn, michael kim & byeong hun an (all 5 have earned their pga cards for next season) are not fans of the liv tour which is financed by the 9/11 bombers attack upon the united states of america

did you know that the #1 ranked player in the 2023 class eric lee from fullerton is gonna sign with coach walter this november?...yeah cal is a golf school that is gonna be competing for a national championship in the near future

the usa team was victorious last week at the president's cup in charlotte north carolina with key contributions by americans max homa & colin morikawa, the following is a loosely edited transcript of my conversations at around 6:30 pm in the locker room at quail hollow back in the day after my world rankings golf course evaluation which was arranged by fellow g2c2 (global golf centurion club, membership rules require the completion of at least 1 world top 100 golf magazine list, the shockster has played the last 17 world lists) member adam (who is a golf professional)
https://top100golf.blogspot.com/2006/01/people-who-have-played-top-100-golf.html

shocky: (standing at the sink trying to scrub the bunker sand outta his eyes from the 18th hole)

random dude: you ok?

shocky: your club's sand is terrific, same bright white silicone stuff as augusta, but it's a pain in the azz when it gets in your eyes, everything is kinda blurry or something

random dude: (who is tying a light blue tie with a glistening white starched shirt) sorry to hear that, are you the rater that's visiting today to see if we're a world top 100 golf course?...are we that good?

shocky: yeah, that's me, fun day today, your definitely a usa top 100 golf course...ima shocky (extending a fist bump)

random dude: nice to meet you, i'm roy...so how do you rate these world top 100 golf courses?...at my old job i used to get invited out to prairie dunes all the time

shocky: prairie dunes is an amazing links golfing experience, easily the best course in kansas and in my world top 25 rankings...hey, do you wanna join me and adam for a quick drink?

random dude: would love to talk about golf course architecture with you guys, that's my new hobby, but i got to go this work function at 7:00 pm

shocky: (thinking it's some boring azz corporate function with rubber chicken) can't you just show up late?

random dude: not really, i'm sort of the featured speaker

shocky: (feeling sorry for this guy) well, good luck then, at least you got to play golf this afternoon

random dude: yeah work is work, please tell adam to shoot me a text regarding when he can give me another lesson, thanks

adam: (as shocks walks over to him in the locker room) do you know who just insulted with your work thing stuff?

shocky: i dunno, somebody who wants a lesson with you?

adam: (shaking his head & laughing) guess what dumb azz, that's roy williams

shocky: (hustling back to the sink area) hey roy, didn't mean to hassle you

roy: (kinda laughing) that's ok, you would be a tenacious assistant coach with that attitude

shocky: well, now that you mention it, i'm the director of recruiting for the cal basketball program and the co author of cal's monster class with its several million views which is the most read thread in the history of college basketball...did you know we are currently in major battles with you for three mcdonald all americans?

roy: (with a kinda smirk and perhaps a glimpse of recognition) really, and what three prospects are you referring to?

shocky: ivan rabb, jaylen brown and caleb swanigan...i've branded these recruitments as cal's diamonds are forever class.. do you know anything about these guys or do you just delegate recruiting to your assistant coaches?

roy: (tight smile but perhaps with a bit of annoyance) do you got a minute or two?

shocky: sure

roy: ok, walk with me to valet then, i gotta speak across town in thirty minutes, this is just between us, ok?

and then as we walk thru the clubhouse to the valet area by the front door roy williams lectures me for 5 minutes non stop breaking down the skillsets of ivan rabb, jaylen brown and caleb swanigan

his detailed knowledge is mind boggling, he tells me that rabb (at that moment the #1 ranked player in the nation) is the most innate rebounder he's seen in years and very unselfish with the ball but that he's concerned about his unusual gait (note: ivan retired from the nba because of plantar fasciitis)...jaylen brown (ranked #5 in the class) is a future nba all star but will struggle in college with sharing the ball & 3 point shooting...caleb swanigan (ranked #12 in the class) could be a nba first rounder if he can successfully core out his body, his guardian roosevelt barnes is very involved in his recruitment (caleb, rip, was a cal silent commit but barnes refused to sign the letter of intent which resulted in him signing with purdue)

finally william's silver lexus suv shows up at the valet circle and roy looks me in the eyes & tells me with a little wink "nice meeting you, shocky, good luck in out recruiting me"

shocky is not a dumb azz, he knows what just happened...hall of famer roy williams is the featured speaker at dozens of fans/donor events throughout north carolina every year & its kinda hard to come up with fresh new intro speeches, he can't wait to get to his dinner in 30 minutes and tell everybody how he just met this crazy as **** berkeley guy who thinks they are going to out recruit the fabled north carolina program that's won multiple national championships, the crowd is gonna love it & howl with laughter

well guess what?...the shockster got commitment from all 3 of these mcdonald all americans & signed 2 of them

it's seem almost surreal that 6 years ago cal was near the pinnacle of college basketball in excitement & recruiting, what the **** happened?





the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world (including north carolina & more specifically chapel hill)

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https://instagr.am/p/CqrA_y9MQex
there will be 5 golden bears competing this week at the wells fargo tournament at quail hollow in north carolina including past champion max homa, colin morikawa, james hahn, byeong hun an & michael kim