It's the British Open. It will always be the British Open. The redcoats can suck it.

https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx



the quest completed (the future is unknowable)#

Tell us how the eyeball is next.

Edit: this is the new Sphere.

The Wynn Golf Club is one of the most expensive public-access courses in the country ($600+).

And now you must stare at a 366-foot tall and 516-foot wide fake eyeball while you play.

They can’t be happy about that.pic.twitter.com/l25PDmlT4C

— Joe Pompliano (@JoePompliano) July 15, 2023

philbert said:

---

Tell us how the eyeball is next.

Edit: this is the new Sphere.

The Wynn Golf Club is one of the most expensive public-access courses in the country ($600+).

And now you must stare at a 366-foot tall and 516-foot wide fake eyeball while you play.

They can’t be happy about that.pic.twitter.com/l25PDmlT4C

— Joe Pompliano (@JoePompliano) July 15, 2023

---

The eyeball, and the course, deserve each other.

the wynn golf course wuz actually slated for demolition to convert that space to ginormous luxury condos but those plans got changed, it's an average fazio course at best for those with lumify

not exactly shadow creek#

https://instagr.am/p/CtVEDWKv70Y
"tj session was a guy i thought made a big jump in the spring"
-coach wilcox

"don't be a dumb azz and live the life of a fool at a skool with truck stop academics which will create everyday struggles for the rest of ur life"
-notorious big''

"why cant i do a handstand or something?"
-shocky



unicorns for bloesch (cal's monster offensive line)#

https://instagr.am/p/Cup87U0Nkti


summer of love (berkeley to europe)#

Nice way to finish @TrenchCamp @BrandonHuffman @kelsosports @TFordFSP @Stephan68717893 @BlakeBentz pic.twitter.com/2LzHLLZSIG

— Payton Stewart (@payton_stewart0) July 16, 2023

cal's monster offensive recruiting update:

coach bloesch has extended an offer to 2024 northwestern decommit 6'6" 275 lbs payton stewart from kelso high school which is in washington just north of the oregon border...yeah its kinda drizzly in that part of the world

payton is not a dumb azz, he cleared northwestern admissions & got a 3.4 gpa

in person contact by the staff is not allowed right now, hopefully stewart will take an official visit to berkeley in september when the ncca dead period for recruiting is over...ej wants more trench workers in his 2024 class plus tyler knape needs a roommate, it's 100% fact that fsp (tracy ford) is life changing

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna build generational wealth thru nfl development with coach bloesch on the field & intellectual capitalism in the classrooms
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

unicorns for bloesch#

Great day to be on the golf course with @BoJackson and @lancearmstrong! pic.twitter.com/GZ1iRujrhQ

— Bo Bikes Bama (@BoBikesBama) April 21, 2023

a couple of years ago the head golf professional at my favorite public golf courses in scottsdale talking stick (coore & crenshaw designed 36 holes, a 10 minute drive from modern yoga) calls me up & tells me that he would appreciate me doing him a solid & come out that friday to play a game with a sports guy guest...scott tells me that we will play as a twosome & that he will block out the tee times before & after our tee time to ensure nobody bothers us & that since shocky is a walker the guest will have his privacy riding solo in a golf cart (the guest apparently can't walk 18 holes)

tell scott sure no big deal

introductions are made on the putting green, it's bo jackson

so we play the back tees that day (which are 6800+ yards with firm/fast fairways), jackson can pound his drives but hits a couple drives 50 yards off line into the caca...bo tells me that since he got hip replacement surgery that a couple of times a round he can't clear his left side which results in blocked lost ball drives to the right which kinda drives him crazy...shocky shoots a 79 & beats bo by 5 strokes, jackson loses our 5 bucks bet but its never paid up after the round when we do our bro hug on the 18th green

we never talk about sports (which is a relief to bo but honestly its because i got zero interest in pro sports teams/athletes outside of our golden bear pga golfers)

interestingly when i tell him that i wuz raised by a tiger mom who tole me i could do anything in life, he shares with me that he wuz primarily raised by his grandmother who beat the **** out of him & that's the origin of his mental toughness/competitiveness

bo tells me the following story about his daughter morgan, this is a loose recollection of his words:

so his only daughter morgan is in high school & she's already one of the fastest girls in illinois (his primary home is in lemont a suburb of chicago which is home to the cog hill golf complex, jackson mostly plays public courses) & she already got a scholly offer to auburn which he's very proud of

anyways bo is not a dumb azz & he's heard thru the local chatter (his sons) that there are high school boys who wanna devirginize his pretty daughter so when morgan tells him that she's gonna go on her 1st date both morgan & his longtime wife linda are very anxious about how dad is gonna treat the young man when he shows up at the house

"daddy, please be nice to marcus"-morgan

"bo, do not ruin our daughter's 1st date, ok?"-linda

so marcus rings the doorbell & is welcomed into the house

bo says excuse me but can i have a moment alone with marcus in my study/hunting trophy room

morgan & linda share a nervous eye exchange & marcus follows a quiet bo thru the house to his man cave

they eventually arrive to the room & still without a word bo turns his back on marcus & walks over to his work table & pulls out a ginormous silver bullet & asks marcus how his name is spelled

a sweating marcus spells out his first & last name while bo writes something on the bullet with a special sharpie

jackson finally walks over to marcus (who is a star running back at the local high school) & tells him to open his hand

marcus complies with this request & bo puts the silver bullet which has the young man's full name inscribed on it into his palm & tells him:

"marcus, if you disrespect my daughter in any way i will hunt you down to the end of earth & put this bullet in your head, do you fully understand me?"

"yes sir, mr jackson!"

marcus brings his daughter morgan home on her 1st date at 9:45 pm

bo knows (dad of the year)#

Inside you, there are two wolves...#mendozaszn pic.twitter.com/3926DhFbq5

— Tyler Tomei (@TomeiTyler) July 18, 2023

Qb1? Joke?

Social Media managers are... social media managers. They use "!" at the end of boring factual sentences.

Shocky1 said:

---

Great day to be on the golf course with @BoJackson and @lancearmstrong! pic.twitter.com/GZ1iRujrhQ

— Bo Bikes Bama (@BoBikesBama) April 21, 2023

a couple of years ago the head golf professional at my favorite public golf courses in scottsdale talking stick (coore & crenshaw designed 36 holes, a 10 minute drive from modern yoga) calls me up & tells me that he would appreciate me doing him a solid & come out that friday to play a game with a sports guy guest...scott tells me that we will play as a twosome & that he will block out the tee times before & after our tee time to ensure nobody bothers us & that since shocky is a walker the guest will have his privacy riding solo in a golf cart (the guest apparently can't walk 18 holes)

tell scott sure no big deal

introductions are made on the putting green, it's bo jackson

so we play the back tees that day (which are 6800+ yards with firm/fast fairways), jackson can pound his drives but hits a couple drives 50 yards off line into the caca...bo tells me that since he got hip replacement surgery that a couple of times a round he can't clear his left side which results in blocked lost ball drives to the right which kinda drives him crazy...shocky shoots a 79 & beats bo by 5 strokes, jackson loses our 5 bucks bet but its never paid up after the round when we do our bro hug on the 18th green

we never talk about sports (which is a relief to bo but honestly its because i got zero interest in pro sports teams/athletes outside of our golden bear pga golfers)

interestingly when i tell him that i wuz raised by a tiger mom who tole me i could do anything in life, he shares with me that he wuz primarily raised by his grandmother who beat the **** out of him & that's the origin of his mental toughness/competitiveness

bo tells me the following story about his daughter morgan, this is a loose recollection of his words:

so his only daughter morgan is in high school & she's already one of the fastest girls in illinois (his primary home is in lemont a suburb of chicago which is home to the cog hill golf complex, jackson mostly plays public courses) & she already got a scholly offer to auburn which he's very proud of

anyways bo is not a dumb azz & he's heard thru the local chatter (his sons) that there are high school boys who wanna devirginize his pretty daughter so when morgan tells him that she's gonna go on her 1st date both morgan & his longtime wife linda are very anxious about how dad is gonna treat the young man when he shows up at the house

"daddy, please be nice to marcus"-morgan

"bo, do not ruin our daughter's 1st date, ok?"-linda

so marcus rings the doorbell & is welcomed into the house

bo says excuse me but can i have a moment alone with marcus in my study/hunting trophy room

morgan & linda share a nervous eye exchange & marcus follows a quiet bo thru the house to his man cave

they eventually arrive to the room & still without a word bo turns his back on marcus & walks over to his work table & pulls out a ginormous silver bullet & asks marcus how his name is spelled

a sweating marcus spells out his first & last name while bo writes something on the bullet with a special sharpie

jackson finally walks over to marcus (who is a star running back at the local high school) & tells him to open his hand

marcus complies with this request & bo puts the silver bullet which has the young man's full name inscribed on it into his palm & tells him:

"marcus, if you disrespect my daughter in any way i will hunt you down to the end of earth & put this bullet in your head, do you fully understand me?"

"yes sir, mr jackson!"

marcus brings his daughter morgan home on her 1st date at 9:45 pm

bo knows (dad of the year)#

---

Lance Armstrong cheated. Did Bo use PEDs, too? If not, good man. If so, Cancelled. Plenty of players who didn't cheat never got their shot. Those who did deserve nothing but disdain.

(8/8) Collin Morikawa, Max Homa, Tyrrell Hatton pic.twitter.com/AcvibFn2sx

— The Open (@TheOpen) July 18, 2023

bears in the lair together (very favorable grouping)#

Shocky1 said:

---

Shocky1 said:

---

6’4 270 OT, in the lab 🧪 getting 1% better each day. pic.twitter.com/2nlG3Rh5rP

— Samir Camacho ✟ (@dksamirc) March 19, 2023

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

6'4" 278 lbs 2024 hard working offensive tackle samir camacho from cypress halls high school (20 minutes outta houston) is gonna take an official visit to berkeley on june 15-18th, it's possible his current offer could become an actionable offer in the near future

camacho wuz a 6a 1st team all district honoree as a junior, he's poised for an explosive senior season

samir is not a dumb azz, he got a 5.4 gpa...coach bloesch & coach saffell want trench workers that are smart as ****, they not gonna sit down & do ur homework for u, ok?

the university of calveston=#2 ranked (tied with stanford) university in the united states of texas
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

---

the above june 15th-18th official visit to berkeley never materialized, camacho got the following schools under consideration:

maryland-june 9th official visit, now got 4 o-line commits, probably done in this room for 2024

duke-june 16th official visit, now got 5 o-line commits, done for 2024

utsa (san antonio): june 22nd, probably a safety school back up plan option

tcu: recently offered

it will be interesting to see if when the current ncca official visit blackout period ends on september 1st if the 5.4 gpa samir takes an official visit to berkeley

unicorns for bloesch#

---

Really solid reps out of the 2024 Cy Falls OL here showing a well rounded skill set with the physical/athletic traits he brings. https://t.co/IxO3FKJVkD

— Alex King (@AKing_Evals) July 13, 2023

samir is now a self reported 295 lbs

unicorns got tireless unbreakable work ethics#

wc22 said:

---

Social Media managers are... social media managers. They use "!" at the end of boring factual sentences.

---

222, spellling/punctuation is overrated#

🫶😂🤙😱🖤😹🙏

Drop your favorite emoji!#GoBears pic.twitter.com/9AAmplVsXj

— Cal Basketball (@CalMBBall) July 17, 2023

yeah it's kinda not surprising that strawberry jam dad jalen cone says his favorite emoji is the heart with hands

jalen, this song reminds this dumb azz dad of his daughters shay & taylor

https://instagr.am/p/CtPTC8TOdLa


a girl dad (golden sails across the sky)#

3️⃣ Preseason All @pac12 selections#GoBears pic.twitter.com/JtwQQeeNkS

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) July 19, 2023

where's cindo? (unicorns for bloesch)#

I’m awful at rock paper scissors and I’ve played bad in most majors. I think this could ultimately be the turning point for both going forward #pvo pic.twitter.com/Q8HfEUEtAN

— max homa (@maxhoma23) July 18, 2023

bears r fun#

Strong start from @MaxHoma23 😤

He's T7 after a solid opening round @TheOpen. pic.twitter.com/SSp8ABAxwo

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) July 20, 2023

very strong 1st rounder for max homa with a 3 under par 68 which places him a tie for 7th...only 2 missed shots all day wuz a flubbed chip shot into a bunker (which he then got up & down) off a tight lie on the par 3 9th & a missed 5 footer for birdie on the par 5 15th hole...100% that competing at last week's scottish open has acclimated max to the vagaries of links golf & also the local time zone from a sofa king sleep adjustment

A raking putt from @collin_morikawa.

An even better celebration. pic.twitter.com/oqygW5vIyq

— The Open (@TheOpen) July 20, 2023

crazy azz rollercoaster start for colin morikawa which included a shanked short iron out of bounds on the par 4 3rd hole (which is the customary 1st hole during regular club play) but also 4 birdies en route to a 2 over par 73

byeong hun an with a 73 & michael kim with a 75 at royal liverpool which is located in a non pretentious blue collar seaside community in northern england

let's go, max#

Shocky1 said:

---

2023 & 2024 california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused):

doechii, why don't you introduce the 2023 & 2024 yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2024 class:
rashawn clark, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (3.0+ gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.0+)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
camden jones, tight end (3.0+ gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquise montgomery, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (3.0+ gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)
david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (3.1 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
javian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, athlete (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.8 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)

all 37 of these 2023 & 10 2024 scholly recipients are beating the statistics, **** the opinions and all the logisitics



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world

don't forget to take the chicken out#
_____________________________________________

scholly roster math:

rite now the cal football program for the upcoming 2023 season got 37 new scholly players which is offset by 35 departures in the jay rock/t grizzly post above

this means that when fall ball starts in around 2 weeks there's gotta be 2 more publicly announced departures to make the scholly roster math work to meet the ncca max of 85 scholly football rosters, got it?

lists r fun (if u got non stop monkey voices chattering in ur head)#

---

see next post for update re: the 2 football scholly reduction for this fall, the cal football roster is now balanced with 37 scholly additions & 37 scholly reductions

equilibrium#

https://instagr.am/p/CZXnegpPIQE

Shocky1 said:

---

right now the bears got 37 scholly departures

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity
darius long jr, defensive line...now a walk on for final semester, already earned berkeley degree
tommy christakos, wide receiver...medical retirement
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement
kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer
ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer
orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona
patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii...no berkeley degree
henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
mykyle so'oto, outside linebacker...portal san mateo college fightin' benjis...no berkeley degree
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
trey paster, linebacker...grad transfer to colorado state
fatu iosefa, safety...portal...no berkeley degree
kaleb higgins, corner back...portal to sacramento state...no berkeley degree
ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu
spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas
ryan lange, guard...football retirement, will earn berkeley degree
jackson brown, tackle..portal to pitt...no berkeley degree
jake muller...fooball retirement, will earn berkeley degree
elijah mojarro, tight end...grad transfer to nevada
nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer
keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
j michael sturdivant, wide receiver...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
justin richard baker, wide receiver...medical retirement
aiden lee, wide receiver...portal...no berkeley degree
ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
chris street, running back...portal...no berkeley degree
damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state...no berkeley degree
decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer portal to asu
slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu
dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu
jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville
kai milner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree
zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer

---

scholly math update:

jake muller (buried on the depth chart in the tight end room & not a contributor on special teams) is taking a football retirement & will focus on academics in earning his berkeley degree during his upcoming 4th & final year

darius long jr graduated with a berkeley degree in legal studies & will spend his final semester in berkeley completing the grad cert program as a walk on (darius enrolled at cal from san mateo community college as a walk on)

Shocky1 said:

---

Shocky1 said:

---

right now the bears got 37 scholly departures

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity
darius long jr, defensive line...now a walk on for final semester, already earned berkeley degree
tommy christakos, wide receiver...medical retirement
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement
kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer
ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer
orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona
patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii...no berkeley degree
henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
mykyle so'oto, outside linebacker...portal san mateo college fightin' benjis...no berkeley degree
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
trey paster, linebacker...grad transfer to colorado state
fatu iosefa, safety...portal...no berkeley degree
kaleb higgins, corner back...portal to sacramento state...no berkeley degree
ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu
spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas
ryan lange, guard...football retirement, will earn berkeley degree
jackson brown, tackle..portal to pitt...no berkeley degree
jake muller...fooball retirement, will earn berkeley degree
elijah mojarro, tight end...grad transfer to nevada
nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer
keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
j michael sturdivant, wide receiver...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
justin richard baker, wide receiver...medical retirement
aiden lee, wide receiver...portal...no berkeley degree
ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
chris street, running back...portal...no berkeley degree
damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state...no berkeley degree
decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer portal to asu
slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu
dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu
jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville
kai milner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree
zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer

---

scholly math update:

jake muller (buried on the depth chart in the tight end room & not a contributor on special teams) is taking a football retirement & will focus on academics in earning his berkeley degree during his upcoming 4th & final year

darius long jr graduated with a berkeley degree in legal studies & will spend his final semester in berkeley completing the grad cert program as a walk on (darius enrolled at cal from san mateo community college as a walk on)

---

Really re: Long? I thought he might get some playing time

Walk it in, @MaxHoma23 👏

He rolls in his third birdie in 4 holes @TheOpen. pic.twitter.com/JOPMkULPvn

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) July 21, 2023

british open update:

max homa with one of the most volatile rounds of his life with 6 birdies, 6 bogeys & a double bogey (on the par 4 11th hole when he blocked his drive 60 yards into the adjacent fairway) & finished with a 73 putting him at one under for the tournament

byeong hun an got statically one of the best short games on the pga tour & showed that form shooting a 70 & is at one over par for the tournament

as expected the decision by colin morikawa to not prepare for the open by playing in last week's scottish open resulted in him not adjusting to the much slower green speeds (royal liverpool greens are running 10 on the stump meter, pga average is 12+) & instead going to wimbledon in london to get his new watch endorsement deal done wuz a mistake...both colin & michael kim will not make the cut & will be heading back to the states

big c, a contributing factor to the program's mediocre sub 500 record during justin's tenure has been roster mismanagement

last season the staff started damien moore in the season opener ahead of jaydn ott...more significantly the staff started dario longhetto ahead of michael luckhurst all season which resulted in the bears getting outkicked on field goals in both the narrow losses at boulder & south bend

someday in the year 2035 moore & longhetto r gonna be the answers to the following cal sports quiz question: can you name the bears from the 2022 season that started ahead of 10 time nfl pro bowl superstars jaydn ott and michael luckhurst???

hopefully this **** is now in the rearview mirror?

don't be a ******* dumb azz (learn from ur mistakes)#

max and rory paired together for tomorrow's twosome during the 3rd round of the british open

championship golf (does not involve shocky)#

Coach Wilcox on the leadership shown by @jackson_sirmon and @matthew_cindric#GoBears pic.twitter.com/jE1MqMy7Zq

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) July 21, 2023

UNICORNS r not dumb azzs#

calalumnus, 100% agreed, 16 is better than 14 but 17 is the optimal number for scholly trench workers due to the lengthy maturation process