Game time announcement ⏱️

🏈 Cal at Utah
📅 Saturday, Oct. 14 | 12:00 PM PT
📺 Pac-12 Network#GoBears pic.twitter.com/1LxmfoYnw0

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) October 2, 2023

the worst roadtrip in the pac 12 is salt lake city (2024 east coast acc can't happen soon enuf)#

Shocky1 said:

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This dog was spotted composing a masterpiece. They really hope you like it. 13/10 pic.twitter.com/CpNlpiwGcq

— WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) September 13, 2023

2:43 am fun facts:

1) doggys are always excited about a late nite bonus walk, lucky leashes up at the tree fort

2) 2 separate security vehicles in the hood just asked me & my doggy pack "is everything ok?"

3) the fact ima wearing my marvel superhero boxers & nothing else is probably contributing to the kinda probing questions from security...yeah clothes r for losers
https://www.target.com/p/marvel-mens-2-pack-vintage-superhero-comic-boxers-underwear-boxer-briefs-multicolored/-/A-86086565

4) security in my hood drive jeeps & don't wear yellow jackets like they do in berkeley when innocent people are just tryna to exercise their 6th amendment right to ******* storm the field/court/yoga studio

go to bed, shocky (is melatonin a sign of drug abuse for the sofa king?)#

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Best in the business... @NILSPORTSMGT @jusyis3 @Aquinas_Falcons @GregBiggins @CalFootball @CoachAgno @adamgorney @fasttwitchspeed pic.twitter.com/EDfSBzF63z

— Coach Solis (@CoachSolis2) October 3, 2023

jojo got wheels#

https://instagr.am/p/Cb2xIT1r8G3
Dear Mr. Schulz:

As the lead counsel for the University of Kansas and also the Chairman of the Downtown Lawrence Beautification Project, please be advised that we take exception with your extreme mischaracterizations of our University, Community and the Jayhawks Basketball Program.

If you do not immediately cease and desist in making any further slanderous commentary, we will be left with no other course of action other than to bring the full weight of the United States of American constitution against you, your rescue doggys & any yoga teachers/students that might be affiliated with you.

Your inaccurate commentary includes but is not limited to the following:

*****The University of Kansas is very proud of our most current Forbes rankings of #165 which is up 3 spots due to our academic progress in elevating the outplacement services of our highly regarded truck stop diesel engine repair and also entrepreneurial vending machine majors.

*****Not everyone in Lawrence Kansas is White as you've stated, in fact almost 100% of our Basketball teams & Black Studies majors are indeed Black.

*****Jaylon's girlfriend Brenley should have no health concerns re: the nightly "study buddy" program at McCarthy Hall, all 38 of our semi pro athletes living in this residence are checked weekly for fatal STDs by University Health Services and medically treated on a high priority basis.

*****We consider the protection of women as an institutional mandate, in fact today's commitment of Texas portal transfer Arterio Morris who has pending criminal charges from June of 2022 in Frisco Texas for assaulting his girlfriend included a pinky swear promise to Coach Self that he will never do that again.

*****Coach Self is an educator at heart, he teaches his players how to properly stow their guns in cars, how to properly interact with law enforcement (just hand them 2 tixs to future Jayhawks games) & the importance of staying focused on developing basketball skills while blocking any out unnecessary distractions such as academics (in particular reading books), family, girlfriends, community service, etc.

You are hereby warned, Mr. Schulz.

Rock Chalk Talk Caulk!

Robby "Cheesecake" Whitemore, Esq.

kansas basketball update:

arterio morris arrived in lawrence this summer & raped a 18 year old female on campus and has now been dismissed from the basketball team...this heinous crime wuz 100% avoidable
https://www2.kusports.com/sports/2023/sep/29/suspended-ku-basketball-player-arterio-morris-formally-charged-with-rape/

jayhawks head basketball coach bill self is a criminal & is enabled by a corrupt kansas athletic department that places a premium on winning at all costs at a skool with truck stop academics

4.0 gpa 2024 offensive lineman david abajian needs to question the "family" atmosphere being sold in kansas



failure to protect the most vulnerable (this is kansas athletics)#

^ message to david abajian

ask kansas offensive line coach scott fuchs why he recruited backup right tackle logan brown despite violently assaulting a teammate & then being dismissed from the wisconsin football team, ok?
https://nypost.com/2022/10/13/logan-brown-booted-from-wisconsin-football-after-striking-teammate/

The commitment: October 4th in Topeka High’s cafeteria at 3:15

Where’s home?? pic.twitter.com/Y18rY7AmhC

— BJ Canady (@bj_canady) September 28, 2023

bj, r u ready to get out of kansas???

r u aware that odds of building generational wealth at cal or stanford are astronomically greater than earning a kinda worthless degree at kansas or k-state?

Let’s rewind to Saturday’s W 🔁🎬#GoBears pic.twitter.com/QFtuMCohLW

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) October 4, 2023

the acceleration of mack's jet is breathtaking (in person at memorial stadium)#

https://instagr.am/p/CxllfqGS3ZH
doms, ur monster fam luvs u rite back

cal is a monster skool (them horseys look kinda stoned or something, do u got lumify?)#

Shocky,
On Monday I tried my first 32 oz green drink from the Sprouts on Tatum and Cactus. I opted for the one with only 4g of sugar. Intellectually, I felt great about my healthy choice as I choked it down.

It wasn't bad, but let's just say I wouldn't be drinking that if it weren't healthy.

#HealthyCalFansDonateMoreToCal Legends

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/CxllfqGS3ZH
doms, ur monster fam luvs u rite back

cal is a monster skool (them horseys look kinda stoned or something)#

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Shockster ... you need to get one of those belts!

Sexy Sprout calendar suggestion number two: who of our players do you wanna see buried in Sprouts 😎👌🌱? #orderitnow pic.twitter.com/wNb55K4LUv

— Sprout (@sproutGG) December 23, 2017

^^ zony, ur already looking sleeker or something, congrats on ur 1st 32 green juice!

the real question is can you drink/choke down a green juice every day for 20 days to see a significant change in the waist line?

but gotta be honest with u re: that shopping area of 32nd street & cactus, the monster is upset that shogun (my fav wuz the turkey salad with orange slices) is gonzo so now when ima in ur hood ima going across the street to the iron chef for a miso soup w/extra tofu & beef chow fun tho never can wrong at the chop shop at the corner with their freshly pressed green juices & yummy salads

https://instagr.am/p/B8FaO5vHD-f
^^ hoops partner, not gonna lie to u, shocky is a minimalist (an anti hoarder, material possessions r for losers not doggys like me, my idea of a fun time would be to visit ur house & help you sort thru/donate/throw out 80% of the **** that is suffocating ur life tho my guess is u got a lot more feng shui than most people on planet earth) & don't even own a single belt no more

the monster did own one beautiful black leather belt from prada in venice but taylor took it to new york city to accentuate her slim waist for one of her madison avenue work outfits or something

losing this belt wuz not a big ******* loss to the monster, ok?

https://instagr.am/p/CFNvhGZF8jo
flat stomachs r sexy as **** (this does NOT apply to cal's monster offensive line)#

cal football's players of the game:

Our players of the game from Week 5🐻 #GoBears pic.twitter.com/vU4gPU7kTF

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) October 2, 2023

shocky's player of the game:
https://instagr.am/p/CbIzVrlj7xg
black is the new fuschia in fashion (cal's monster class)#

Shocky1 said:

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cal football's players of the game:

Our players of the game from Week 5🐻 #GoBears pic.twitter.com/vU4gPU7kTF

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) October 2, 2023

shocky's player of the game:
https://www.instagram.com/domarciniega/?img_index=1

black is the new fuschia in fashion#

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Is this girl really a Cal cheerleader? Or was a Cal cheerleader? If so I may have to reevaluate my opinion that SC always has the best looking cheerleaders. And yes, I realize that as I get older these statements sound creepier and creepier. But I'm older not deader.

AZ Bear said:

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Shocky,
On Monday I tried my first 32 oz green drink from the Sprouts on Tatum and Cactus. I opted for the one with only 4g of sugar. Intellectually, I felt great about my healthy choice as I choked it down.

It wasn't bad, but let's just say I wouldn't be drinking that if it weren't healthy.

#HealthyCalFansDonateMoreToCal Legends

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I feel blessed that at 82 years old, nothing like those drinks has ever gone down my throat

This dog was spotted supporting their local library. Thinks access to free sticks is so important. 12/10 pic.twitter.com/KGcVSPYapd

— WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) September 7, 2023

oak, how do u really know for sure until u try to a 32 oz green juice?

r u opened minded?

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and the epicenter of rescue doggy community service work fueled by green juices)#

https://instagr.am/p/CP8Y0oOjuz5
https://www.espn.com/college-sports/story/_/id/38563828/ncaa-shrinks-window-athletes-enter-transfer-portal

new ncca transfer portal rules:

football window now will only be open from december 4, 2023 to january 4, 2024 & then reopen again for 15 days from april 15, 2024 to april 30, 2024

right now the 2024 class is at 11 high school commitments with potentially another one on the way...then the staff would still like to sign at least one more addition to cal's monster offensive line

portal transfer targeted numbers won't be known until the end of the 2023 in december when future plans discussions take place between current players & the staff

"oak, how do u really know for sure until u try to a 32 oz green juice?"

some things are just left undone, jumping off the GG bridge? rooting for the furds and drinking fad type drinks that people drink because they think it will help them live longer, as the old joke goes, "it just feels like it"

Cal’s latest depth chart ahead of the Bears’ matchup with Oregon State this weekend. pic.twitter.com/9fPNdgjFZV

— Cal Rivals (@CalRivals) October 3, 2023

tight ends need to get their heads out of their azzs vs oregon state#

calford grad is the smartest bear of them all (along with cindo)#

To you earlier points, the best and maybe only sustained drive last week was extended by a 3rd down pass to the tight end over the middle. That was only pass between the hashmarks I can recall so the lack of tight end production definitely seems to be more of a coaching and play calling issue than anything else, unless I'm missing something

blake, opposing defensive coordinators are game planning against us by scheming against the bears perimeter passing game thereby leaving the middle 3rd of the field available for a vertical passing game...glad ur noticing the predictable spav (as influenced by wilcox) play calling

that exciting jack endries drag route thru the middle of the field is there literally every game

the splatter chart (of cal offensive passing areas of the field) tells the story (don't be a dumb azz)#

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Excited for my official visit to Cal September 8-10th! #GoBears pic.twitter.com/5jAijR2d2C

— BJ Canady (@bj_canady) August 31, 2023

2024 cal's monster class recruiting update:

the 2024 acc california golden bears are once again open for biz & one of the 1st official visitors of this exciting new era of east coastie fun gamedays is 6'5" 260 lbs apex predator edge defender bj canady from topeka high school in kansas

bj is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.91 gpa...his sister nijaree is a star for stanford softball...trust me he's not gonna pick a big 12 truck stop academic skool

🚨 AWARDS ALERT: Congratulations to the 2023 @tucci_limited / NFCA Division I Freshman of the Year, @StanfordSball's NiJaree Canady! 🥎

🔗 https://t.co/30qdeChkoo pic.twitter.com/yJPXyzaAAu

— NFCA (@NFCAorg) May 31, 2023

listen to this articulate & poised young man, the big news is that he's gonna also play quarterback this season

SIK’s @bjbowman13 caught up with BJ Canady (@bj_canady) of Topeka High at @sharp_spelite on his recruitment and heading into senior year with the Trojans 🏈 Multiple Power 5 offers for the 6’5” 250 lb DE.

Also hear from the 2024 top prospect on his sister, @CanadyNijaree… pic.twitter.com/cKOINUJhnQ

— Sports in Kansas (@sportsinkansas) June 1, 2023

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna build generational wealth thru nfl development with coach browning & studious work in the classrooms of berkeley)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

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https://instagr.am/p/Cx_Y_5iOkj4
KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM

there are now 12 class of 2024 high school commitments to the #1 ranked public university in the world, who is gonna be the 13th???

bj, get ur facts rite, ok?

berkeley is the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD (not just the country), got it?

don't be a dumb azz (mr 3.91 gpa smarty pants)#

the most ugly azz cal hat of all time (bj is apparently color blind, sigh)#

2023 & 2024 california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused):

doechii, why don't you introduce the 2023 & 2024 yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2024 class:
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
rashawn clark, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (3.0+ gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.0+ gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
camden jones, tight end (3.0+ gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquise montgomery, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (3.0+ gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)
david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (3.1 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
javian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, athlete (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.8 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)

all 37 of these 2023 & 12 2024 scholly recipients are beating the statistics, **** the opinions and all the logisitics



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world

don't forget to take the chicken out#
__________________________________________________

2024 recruiting update:

right now the bears got 12 2024 high school commitments:

5 from texas (the university of calveston is not imaginary, smu as an acc rival is an integral component of the staff's 2024 & 2025 targeted recruiting strategy in texas)
4 from california
2 from washington (rashawn clark got +1 athleticism & nfl upside)
1 from kansas

fully expect coach bloesch to secure the commitment of another high school trench worker, potentially two if it's the right guy...any other position will need to be an early impact elite prospect, high school schollys will not go beyond 13 maybe 14

transfer recruiting will begin december 4th with crazy azz energy for 30 days as players formally enter the portal then

Marshawn Lynch on Aaron Rodgers:

“He’s the best QB I ever played with.” @MoneyLynch tells an incredible story about running the wrong play and @AaronRodgers12 taking the blame for it @CalFootball pic.twitter.com/bQW0fvKgcp

— Club Shay Shay (@ClubShayShay) October 4, 2023

this is cal football#

Blue vs. Gold 🤜🤛#GoBears pic.twitter.com/Yo03DCei6Q

— Cal Basketball (@CalMBBall) September 30, 2023

this is cal basketball (with pregame yoga stretching)#

Oregon State preps for a "dead crowd" at Memorial Stadium by turning off the music during practice this week.https://t.co/OVdbtaeruD

— Nick Daschel (@nickdaschel) October 4, 2023

Really need a win this Saturday to rekindle a season that feels like it is about to go up in flames.

Econ141 said:

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Oregon State preps for a "dead crowd" at Memorial Stadium by turning off the music during practice this week.https://t.co/OVdbtaeruD

— Nick Daschel (@nickdaschel) October 4, 2023

Really need a win this Saturday to rekindle a season that feels like it is about to go up in flames.

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Seems like a pretty prepared coaching staff. Or am I mistaking an onion parody article. Turning off the practice music to prepare for silent Cal crowd???