Shocky1 said:

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smh, shocky don't burn, do u burn bro?

---

nearly 20 years sober (for a reason) and loong retired # fair thee well
btw, congrats, the next page in thread will be #300.
l

Taking notes around these goats🐐
Also: Scottie is f***ing good at golf, congrats pic.twitter.com/GEhQeplcy0

— Collin Morikawa (@collin_morikawa) August 4, 2024

2024 st jude pga tournament at tpc southwind: 1st round update

collin morikawa: despite hitting only 4 of 14 fairways (including several misses with fairway woods off the tee) collin hit 14 of 18 greens in regulation en route to a very good opening round of 68 & looks really comfortable in his putting stroke/set up stance...morikawa commented on the 17th tee that he hadn't "hit a good drive all day"

max homa: a couple of mental miscues playing with his buddy the postman on the 16th & 17th holes in steamy humid as **** memphis heat slowed down homanation but max still got it to the clubhouse in a solid 69...homa gets an early start tomorrow in the slightly cooler morning weather so rest & hydration are the keys tonite

ben an: nobody other than xander wants to play with the sour/slow playing cantlay but ben still got in around in 69 despite getting paired with the ucla grad...ben's short game looks real good right now & he's poised to make a move in the fed ex playoffs

korn ferry tour: short & crooked driving got kk limbhaust a 73 & behind the cut eightball at the architecturally interesting metedeconk national in new jersey (located down the pike from wawa, **** balenciaga)

pga americas: despite an early round eagle on a 352 yard par 4 bomber brandon hagy shot a 73 somewhere in canada (but really close to the nasty azz cardboard tasting tim horton donuts)

michael kim: physically recovering back home in dallas (ate the bbq brisket sandwich with extra sauce at buc-ee's today)

Thoughts from Wyndham
-Big congrats to Aaron Rai. He’s really a hard worker even amongst the tour pros. He is super respectful of others and a really nice guy. Played with him at Players and was really impressed how he went thru the round mentally, never giving up.
-The Kuchar…

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) August 12, 2024

^^ congrats smh

friendly lifestyle advice: do not move to simi valley

https://instagr.am/p/C-qfIS9P9n8

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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🐐 https://t.co/Jqm79z41NG

— Jae’on Young (@j1young_) July 24, 2024

this is the aha moment in coach wilcox's career when he FINALLY realizes that shocky is always 100% right & that the key to unleashing an electrically dangerous bears offensive in the fall of 2024 is the utilization of the PITCHOUT to all american jaydn ott on the edges with open space, this is gonna be the key heisman play call to bringing the trophy to berkeley!!

as mentioned before by the monster, legendary nfl future hall of fame coach (and asu analyst) marv lewis always laughs whenever we talk college football at desert highlands (he lives on the right side of the tee box on the 5 11th hole) stating with a funny smirk that cal is "absolutely the easiest team to scheme again defensively in the pac 12" because of our "predictable" schemes/playcalling

cal's offenses under justin have been risk averse regardless of who is the offensive coordinator, this is why we don't risk tossing the ball on PITCHOUTs to our all american (could result in a bobbled miscue/turnover), throw passes in the middle 3rd of the field (could be tipped or overthrown for an interception/turnover, better for incompletions to be safely thrown out of bounds) & why the bears fair catch every punt (could be fumbled/turnover)

so in the simplest technical terms possible, marv has successfully game planned against cal by loading the box knowing we won't rush the ball to the perimeter & then instructing his outside linebackers/safeties to cheat to the sidelines for perimeter passing coverage support help once it's properly diagnosed as not an inside running play knowing we won't attack the middle 3rd of the field in the downfield vertical passing game

voila, the bears offense is stuffed!!

and that's why our offenses have stalled during wilcox's tenure as a head coach, he's irrationally afraid of taking chances in life...as a result of a controlling childhood (shocky took psych 1 in berkeley) justin is intensely private & don't want you to know he's been living with the same woman for almost a decade (whose family famously bleeds blue & gold) or that he's the leader singer of blur, taking chances has never been part of his dna until now thx to my work with coach in helping him develop as a human being on planet earth

and with that being said head coach justin wilcox still needs a yoga/meditation practice in the worst way possible (fishing/drinking beer at the lake is not the solution, that will only work for very few, mark my words) & to fully unchain offensive coordinator mike bloesch (the bears best coach in terms of player development) to utilize every single available weapon in his playcalling arsenal without the head coach tryna dial it back or something



this is cal football (if u see darkness don't look away, we r not gonna fall this time)#

---

From the Desk of the Head Football Coach of the University of Calveston

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

My gosh you're the most annoying person on Planet Earth!! No wonder Coach Martin, Donald Trump, the Con Artist, the Little Mermaid, the staff at Modern Yoga and half the premium posters including Greg Richardson at the Bear Insider want to keep you further afar!!

And how is my 3.43 GPA relevant to my duties as the Head Football Coach? What's your point, so what if Nate (4.2 GPA) is smarter than me or something.

From Blue Chip Illustrated after the 1994 football season. I think that Tom Brady kid might amount to something someday... pic.twitter.com/Ugiespetxd

— Anthony Gimino (@AGWildcatReport) January 18, 2021

But let's be real here, arguing with you is pointless, your friends/supporters include Buc-ee, your yoga buddy Jaylen Brown, Becky G, Chancellor Lyons, Club Pro Guy, fellow Stinson Beach High School grads Jared Goff & Governor/Future President of the USA Gavin Newsom and most importantly THE JET!!!!

So how about a compromise, ok?

I will call a PITCHOUT to Jaydn on the edges in wide open space on the 1st play from scrimmage this fall against UC Davis and also let you & Doms arrange all housing for Cal's Monster Offensive Line and in exchange you will GTFO, got it?

https://instagr.am/p/C9qFsgJyEHb
Best regards,

Coach Wilcox

---

From the Desk of the Head Football Coach of the 2025 Tropical Thunder Big 3

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I AM ******* FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did NOT stroke out when Kyion punted the ******* ball halfway to Albany, got it?????????

Thanks to you and your big mouth Alta Bates just texted me and told me they got a couple dozen get well cards and flowers waiting for me at the front desk.

Look, I'm very busy right now trying to scheme your PITCHOUTS into our season opening gameplan and also somehow incorporate your yoga/meditation suggestions into our S&C program due to the fact that almost half of our two deeps are INJURED right now so can you do me a solid and get Buc-ee to drop by the hospital on his way home today to Treasure Island and pick up all that ****?

Best regards,

Coach Wilcox

Econ141 said:

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golden sloth said:

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Econ141 said:

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This older graph posted by @Genetics56 and constructed by @TJAltimore is a good reminder that the ACC as a whole is truly in much better shape than many want to suggest.

Based on this data the Big 12's top brand would be 8th in the ACC in its current form.

Interesting stuff! pic.twitter.com/2y23qZyPgg

— Chris McDonald (@mcblimp95) August 14, 2024

---

I saw this a few days ago, and although I like the results, I cant really agree with them. Cal and Stanford are ranked much higher than they are probably should be. Stanford being ahead of Washington, Tennessee, and Florida state seems to run contrary to what just happened last year and conventional logic. Cal being 22nd overall and ahead of Miami, Auburn, Nebraska and Oregon seems a stretch. I get that UW and Oregon represent two different media markets, when Cal and Stanford would be redundant, but again history just played out, and it was decided that the choosers would rather have UW and Oregon.

That said, I do think the Big Twelve has very large longterm issues which is glossed over by the lawsuits in the ACC. This is why they are actively rooting for other conferences to fail. 4 of their top 6 schools used to be in the Pac-12, and they represented the bottom half of the Pac-12 at that. But again, I don't know how BYU could be less desirable than Kansas State or UCF, so I cant get on board with these rankings.

---

I found the methodology he used and he did overweight football success significantly vs the other factors.

2/ HOW THIS MODEL CALCULATES SCORES:

For each factor, a range of metrics were weighted based on expert input, evaluated based on quantifiable data, and scored with statistical comparisons.

Below is a quick overview of the methodology used in scoring. Please note that all…

— Tony Altimore (@TJAltimore) March 23, 2024

---

This kind of tells me that Cal and Stanford must do really well by every metric besides recent football success. I'm also a bit skeptical that such a ranking should have them above the likes of Auburn or Oregon, but I would agree that both schools carry a kind of "hidden" value that wasn't quite appreciated in the last round of realignment (though still appreciated enough to get into the ACC when plenty of other schools would not have gotten a sniff).

No quit 💪#GoBears | #ALLIN pic.twitter.com/FMKlWiKNF8

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) August 15, 2024

2024 fall camp: practice #13

3 biggest takeaways

1) neither nando or chandler is stepping up to win the qb1 battle, in fairness they're under duress on almost every play with an ineffectual offensive line that's struggling without an injured sioape

2) monster fueled kinetic touchdown runs (41 & 23 yards) by texan jamaal wiley & THE JET!!!!...strong performance from wideout jonathan brady with multiple sideline receptions & a 50 yard td...great day for the TAKERS particularly corner back nohl williams and nickels lu magia hearns & matthew littlejohn

3) ryan longwell coached/consulted special teams muffed multiple punt return catches, a punt got blocked & a miscue on the handling of a ryan coe missed (right & short) 53 yard game simulated field goal

yeah the team still got a bunch of key INJURED players but don't worry, the opening game for the fall 2024 season is only 3 weeks away

https://instagr.am/p/C-tFwahsdjt

Cold Tub Talks 🛁🗣️#GoBears | #ALLIN pic.twitter.com/wGbBXGRuNk

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) August 15, 2024

this is freezing azz cal football ("u don't bury survivors!!!)#

Shocky1 said:

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nice spin brah, the truth is that shocky is supportive of title ix within the context of financial sustainability & the truth is that every curvy brunette yoga female lifeguard dating back to my time at stinson beach high school and both of my daughters shay & taylor r fully aware of my fully engaged empowerment actions

https://instagr.am/p/BK1PpkdD858

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"Financial sustainablity"... meaning whatever sport you like?
Bruh, if that was even close to true, you would be a monster field hockey fan. Only women's sport with an endowed coaching position, and with the largest percentage of endowed scholarships.
Before you go all Lori Laughlin, check the roster: heavy duty influence of foreign athletes, comparable to men's water polo and Men's rowing. Cal Brand on the world stage.... not just at Buccees..
How do you even keep track of all your agendas?

Research shows that after controlling for other factors, children from high-income families have an admissions advantage at peer private universities, but not @UCBerkeley. Cal is an astonishingly powerful engine for social mobility. https://t.co/dcWGguMsYR

— Rich Lyons (@richlyons) June 8, 2024

said:

---

not so fun fact: rich's above message is slightly undermined by the fact that prospective white students from uber wealthy affluent communities can have their daughters slotted for special admissions in multiple women's sports by the current athletic department staff specifically jennifer simon-o'neil while the con artist just looks the other way from outta town

the average home/estate value in these leafy enclaves is north of $5,000,000+ for this cal sport team (of 100% white girls)
https://calbears.com/sports/womens-rowing/roster

https://instagr.am/p/CYKHcTOFNwp
varsity blues side door valet entrance to berkeley#

---

https://instagr.am/p/CwLQ15Qv4pi
https://calbears.com/sports/field-hockey/roster

mb, the women's field hockey team is comprised of white girls from wealthy enclaves, check out the hometowns

when shocky reached out a year ago to the athletic department's director of compliance justin ditolla with specific questions related to his investigations/protective safeguards (does jenny tag or sign off on any admissions requests?) re: potential berkeley special admissions abuses he did not directly respond to me but rather had beth tafolla-voetsch get back to me

what kinda compliance professional doesn't directly respond to potential claims of special admissions abuses in this day & age of parents/administrators going to prison over varsity blues crimes?

answer: someone promoted recently by jim knowlton to manage the department's upcoming internal nil program...anybody think the football players are gonna get the nil money earmarked for them by football donors in the future or is it gonna be redirected away to women's athletes in the name of title ix??

if u don't think there is incompetence (financial malfeasance) at best & corruption (the racist allegations involving the suicidal women's swimmers) at worst within the cal athletic dept u got ur blinders on

bottom line, donating to the cal athletic department is kinda like burning money and rich is gonna find this out (if he somehow inexplicably doesn't already know this after years working in berkeley) with the future donations results from last week's not well received "time share sales pitch" with the con artist to "save" teams

Field hockey is a joke of a sport. Can't wait til it's gone..

https://instagr.am/p/BixRSjoh6bS
2025 cal football schedule:

the august 15th deadline expired with florida state failing to give notice of their intention (along with the exit fee check of $500,000,000) to leave the acc which mean cal's 2025 football schedule is now in stone as follows:

oregon state beavers: corvallis, august 30th
fcs opponent: memorial stadium, september 6th
minnesota golden golphers: memorial stadium, september 13th
san diego state aztecs: san diego, september 20th

north carolina tar heels: memorial stadium, tbd
smu mustangs: memorial stadium, tbd
duke blue devils: memorial stadium, tbd
virginia cavaliers: memorial stadium, tbd

boston college eagles: boston, tbd
louisville cardinals: louisville, tbd
virginia tech hokies: blacksburg, tbd
stanford cardinals: palo alto, shocky's stormin' the field b-day celebration under scorpio skies

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/BixRSjoh6bS
2025 cal football schedule:

the august 15th deadline expired with florida state failing to give notice of their intention (along with the exit fee check of $500,000,000) to leave the acc which mean cal's 2025 football schedule is now in stone as follows:

oregon state beavers: corvallis, august 30th
fcs opponent: memorial stadium, september 6th
minnesota golden golphers: memorial stadium, september 13th
san diego state aztecs: san diego, september 20th

north carolina tar heels: memorial stadium, tbd
smu mustangs: memorial stadium, tbd
duke blue devils: memorial stadium, tbd
virginia cavaliers: memorial stadium, tbd

boston college eagles: boston, tbd
louisville cardinals: louisville, tbd
virginia tech hokies: blacksburg, tbd
stanford cardinals: palo alto, shocky's stormin' the field b-day celebration under scorpio skies

---

Two points:

1. Why the hell does Cal not have 7 home games? For out of conference games Cal should be playing 3 home games and 1 away game tops, none of this 2 and 2 stuff. I'm hoping this is because of some relics in scheduling left over from the conference transition.

2. In a way too early guess, I'd say SMU and Minnesota might be the most difficult home games (I'm assuming NC fires Mack and is breaking in a new coach), meaning the most likely outcome is a clean sweep at home for 6 games. On the road, Louisville and VTech can be a challenge but BC and Stanford are overcomeable obstacles on the road. 4 - 2 is a definite possibility. Meaning 10 wins overall is quite possible.

oskiswifeshusband said:

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Field hockey is a joke of a sport. Can't wait til it's gone..

---

I like it because it costs the Athletic Department (meaning the football team) less money because of endowment. Again, the only women's head coaching position that has zero dollars coming out of the AD pocket. Cal has already paid for the field that hosts Field Hockey....(Underhill)
It's a competitive sport in the ACC, and the US just did well in the Olympics. I have seen a fair amount, can take it or leave it as a visual sport, but, the bottom line for me is the bottom line...will it for sure survive? Who knows...but Cal will have some women's sports...

golden sloth said:

---

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/BixRSjoh6bS
2025 cal football schedule:

the august 15th deadline expired with florida state failing to give notice of their intention (along with the exit fee check of $500,000,000) to leave the acc which mean cal's 2025 football schedule is now in stone as follows:

oregon state beavers: corvallis, august 30th
fcs opponent: memorial stadium, september 6th
minnesota golden golphers: memorial stadium, september 13th
san diego state aztecs: san diego, september 20th

north carolina tar heels: memorial stadium, tbd
smu mustangs: memorial stadium, tbd
duke blue devils: memorial stadium, tbd
virginia cavaliers: memorial stadium, tbd

boston college eagles: boston, tbd
louisville cardinals: louisville, tbd
virginia tech hokies: blacksburg, tbd
stanford cardinals: palo alto, shocky's stormin' the field b-day celebration under scorpio skies

---

Two points:

1. Why the hell does Cal not have 7 home games? For out of conference games Cal should be playing 3 home games and 1 away game tops, none of this 2 and 2 stuff. I'm hoping this is because of some relics in scheduling left over from the conference transition.

---

I think these are scheduling relics. Most likely we won't have road games at SDSU in the future.

Shocky1 said:

---

Research shows that after controlling for other factors, children from high-income families have an admissions advantage at peer private universities, but not @UCBerkeley. Cal is an astonishingly powerful engine for social mobility. https://t.co/dcWGguMsYR

— Rich Lyons (@richlyons) June 8, 2024

said:

---

not so fun fact: rich's above message is slightly undermined by the fact that prospective white students from uber wealthy affluent communities can have their daughters slotted for special admissions in multiple women's sports by the current athletic department staff specifically jennifer simon-o'neil while the con artist just looks the other way from outta town

the average home/estate value in these leafy enclaves is north of $5,000,000+ for this cal sport team (of 100% white girls)
https://calbears.com/sports/womens-rowing/roster

https://instagr.am/p/CYKHcTOFNwp
varsity blues side door valet entrance to berkeley#

---

https://instagr.am/p/CwLQ15Qv4pi
https://calbears.com/sports/field-hockey/roster

mb, the women's field hockey team is comprised of white girls from wealthy enclaves, check out the hometowns

when shocky reached out a year ago to the athletic department's director of compliance justin ditolla with specific questions related to his investigations/protective safeguards (does jenny tag or sign off on any admissions requests?) re: potential berkeley special admissions abuses he did not directly respond to me but rather had beth tafolla-voetsch get back to me

what kinda compliance professional doesn't directly respond to potential claims of special admissions abuses in this day & age of parents/administrators going to prison over varsity blues crimes?

answer: someone promoted recently by jim knowlton to manage the department's upcoming internal nil program...anybody think the football players are gonna get the nil money earmarked for them by football donors in the future or is it gonna be redirected away to women's athletes in the name of title ix??

if u don't think there is incompetence (financial malfeasance) at best & corruption (the racist allegations involving the suicidal women's swimmers) at worst within the cal athletic dept u got ur blinders on

bottom line, donating to the cal athletic department is kinda like burning money and rich is gonna find this out (if he somehow inexplicably doesn't already know this after years working in berkeley) with the future donations results from last week's not well received "time share sales pitch" with the con artist to "save" teams

---

you are making **** up....you went right over the foreign influx...two women of color from the US for a sport that is difficult to fund in the inner cities...
hey, I don't love the sport...but you want to ignore it as decently funded (only women's head coaching position that is) and the scholarships that are funded....the bottom line is all that matters to me....

Good stuff:

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/berkeley-haas_nfl-calfootball-berkeleyhaas-activity-7191863196608073728-ymuJ?utm_source=combined_share_message&utm_medium=member_android

hang on…we are getting an incredibly important update: https://t.co/OSW6KbQNnx

— rex volcanø (@RexVolcano) August 15, 2024

sycasey, the 2025 road game at corvallis is not a "scheduling relic," the oregon state home/away series wuz agreed upon earlier this year by the athletic department

That game needs to be cancelled. Its a lose lose IMHO.

7 days🥷🏾

— Nate Sheppard (@NateShep20) August 16, 2024

2025 4.2 gpa running back with SPEED#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (on the west coast with year round 70s cali weather, NOT some nasty azz humid hot sweatbox in bumble****)

sycasey said:

---

golden sloth said:

---

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/BixRSjoh6bS
2025 cal football schedule:

the august 15th deadline expired with florida state failing to give notice of their intention (along with the exit fee check of $500,000,000) to leave the acc which mean cal's 2025 football schedule is now in stone as follows:

oregon state beavers: corvallis, august 30th
fcs opponent: memorial stadium, september 6th
minnesota golden golphers: memorial stadium, september 13th
san diego state aztecs: san diego, september 20th

north carolina tar heels: memorial stadium, tbd
smu mustangs: memorial stadium, tbd
duke blue devils: memorial stadium, tbd
virginia cavaliers: memorial stadium, tbd

boston college eagles: boston, tbd
louisville cardinals: louisville, tbd
virginia tech hokies: blacksburg, tbd
stanford cardinals: palo alto, shocky's stormin' the field b-day celebration under scorpio skies

---

Two points:

1. Why the hell does Cal not have 7 home games? For out of conference games Cal should be playing 3 home games and 1 away game tops, none of this 2 and 2 stuff. I'm hoping this is because of some relics in scheduling left over from the conference transition.

---

I think these are scheduling relics. Most likely we won't have road games at SDSU in the future.

---

Ideally, either the game at OSU or the game at SDSU would be cancelled and replaced with a home game. Doubt that will happen, though.

oskiswifeshusband said:

---

That game needs to be cancelled. Its a lose lose IMHO.

---

Is OSU going to maintain its level of competitiveness in the Pac-2/MWC though?

Depends on how well this season is, NIL, and rumors of Big12/ACC scheduling agreement.

Either way, it's a lose lose

CPG say Miggy! You mow a lady part haha but I didn’t try to! pic.twitter.com/TBPqEOPHiQ

— Miguel Vega (@MiguelVegaTurf) August 25, 2022

2024 st jude pga tournament at tpc southwind: 2nd round update

shocky not gonna lie, the cali guys played today like they wuz a little smizz, a little drizz, maybe had too much hennessy or liquor by the boatload

yeah the memphis nasty azz humidity wuz a factor & a reminder that the football program's hydration/conditioning for next month's roadies to auburn & tallahassee gotta be on point...deep south weather is no ******* joke

collin morikawa: with a career record lousy driving accuracy (10 of 28 fairways hit in 2 rounds, 2nd worstest in the field) collin still shot a 71 with creative scrambling/shot making and is at -1 for the tournament

ben an: also with crooked azz driving (12 of 28 fairways) shot a 70 & is also at -1 including a miracle bogey on the par 4 18th hole after rinsing his ball in the lake off the tee

max homa: in last place after a 78 with a shocky like 42 on the back nine, maxamillion got the 1st tee time tomorrow morning in the cooler weather, congrats!!!

elsewhere kk limbhaust (71) & brandon hagy (withdrew on the 7th tee) are not playing this weekend

haters on ur body, shake 'em off



hoy no es bueno, ay caramba (ooouuu)#

max homa's cruel & unusual punishment:

usually the golfers in last place tee off first in the morning but due to the crazy azz memphis heat/potential for thunderstorms the pga is putting groups out in threesome off both tees so actually max along with jake knapp (former scottsdale old town security guard bouncer/ucla grad) are gonna be the last group out tomorrow off the 10th tee at 9:46 am local time

max, hope u packed a ****ton of under arm spray bro

wut up nate? (u evah been to the windy city during the 5 month cold azz winter?)#

Golden Era: Inside Fall Camp - Ep.2 goes live TOMORROW! 👀

Get ready to hear from the offense! Tune into our social platforms for the full release!

(Links in bio)#GoBears | #ALLIN pic.twitter.com/NhNM7FXORZ

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) August 16, 2024

2024 fall camp: practice #14

3 biggest takeaways

1) light walk thru work this morning in preparation for tomorrow's final fall camp practice #15 and scrimmage #2

2) coach bloesch is hopeful that sioape vatikani will be ready for the uc davis game on saturday august 31st at memorial stadium, vati's return is CRITICAL for the future success of cal's monster offensive line...mike is also hoping that a qb1 will emerge at tomorrow's scrimmage, if necessary he will play all 3 qbs at the same time in the opener (that's a joke, folks)...the latest he will announce a qb1 is the monday of the 1st game but both he & coach sterlin gilbert hope this competition illuminates clarification tomorrow and with this in mind there's expected to be more snaps than the 1st scrimmage to facilitate in depth evaluations

3) coach wilcox is just fine, he did not stroke out when kyion punted the **** outta the ball during practice #14 after an acrobatic downfield reception...quit sending **** to alta bates, ok?

Ok God I’m done healing send the next Latina

— Don Grizzell, Ph.D. (@golDonbear) August 16, 2024

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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UCLA trying to stop the Calimony payments. pic.twitter.com/0b3dpZyRWt

— Dallas (@Dalmcm) May 10, 2024

PITCHOUTS to all american jaydn ott in open space r triggering (unstoppable with SPEED)#

---

coach bloesch, r u dialing up PITCHOUTS on day 1???????

---

"Who do you think you are?! I AM!"

10 years ago today, Pete Weber gave us an ALL-TIME moment pic.twitter.com/5qisfbxAcx

— Whistle (@WhistleSports) February 26, 2022

fun fact: shocky's reaction after the 1st play from the line of scrimmage against them uc davis aggies on saturday august 31st at 2:00 pm is a PITCHOUT in wide open space on the edge to heisman candidate jaydn ott who takes it to the ******* house in an electric 75 yard espn viral touchdown that gets the cannon on tightwad booming so loud that new mascot buc-ee, multiple +1 athletic quick twitch seagulls circling further afar from high above & coach wilcox are all admitted at 2:19 pm to alta bates with level 3 strokes or something

or coach bloesch can just dial up another 2 yard plunge into the line & this is actually just shocky after he someday upgrades his current headstand into a handstand at modern yoga

yeah jaydn ott is a killah mamushi, he a star star star star star star



life (and PITCHOUTS) are not linear (let's ******* go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)#

^ andrew, plz make sure megan's latest dropped banger mamushi is the lead pregame hype song for today's scrimmage & this fall's 2024 season, ok?

Almost that time… 😈 LETS GO 🐻 #GoBears 📈 https://t.co/EgqQZpPoLQ

— Marshall Cherrington (@MWCherrington) August 17, 2024

Short game on point 💪@Collin_Morikawa holes out for birdie @FedExChamp. pic.twitter.com/DT8MQeVw3h

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) August 17, 2024

2024 st jude pga tournament at tpc southwind: 3rd round update

collin morikawa: the good (his chipping, short pitches & bunker play is as on point as its evah been), the bad (driving the ball about as straight as elvis on meth with an uncharacteristic 18 outta 42 fairways in 3 rounds) & the ugly (rinsing 2 golf balls in lakes on approach shots) wuz all there today en route to a 68...yeah that's golf & collin is really close to winning another pga tournament (just not this week, maybe next week at castle pines south of denver law school with shocky rooting/advising him in person, kat had better pack ear plugs for her hubby, "demand the ball collin, demand the ball, go bears!!!!")

Money from the bunker 💪@Collin_Morikawa holes it for birdie from the sand @FedExChamp. pic.twitter.com/CW4AIauPtZ

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) August 17, 2024

ben an: yeah it's fun when ur average drives are 324.7 yards (4th in the field) but that don't mean **** when ur driving accuracy is only 42.86% (thru 3 rounds) but still a very good day for byeong with a 68

max homa: maxazillion is still adjusting to fatherhood & might be in last place (70th outta 70 contestants) but the good news is that he didn't tell caddie joey greiner to throw his golf bag into the pond guarding the 9th green afterwards!!!...fun advice: joe should throw max into a lake instead, let mr poopy diapers cool off or something

After a Thursday afternoon round, we showed up Friday morning to the first tee and one player showed up clearly hungover. He’s just going thru the motions for a few holes when we get to a hole and he really needs to use the bathroom. Nothing around except a nice house about 20…

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) August 16, 2024

^ moral of the story: current dallas native (why???) michael is tryna tell u that underage drinking & eating a bbq brisket sandwich with jumbo fries washed down with 2 chocolate fudge slabs with sugary fuschia sprinkles along with topping the tank off with 91 premium at buc-ee's is a dumb decision that will lead to a **** situation



why the **** is the pga playing a tournament in humid nasty azz memphis in august??? (even elvis just wanna go home to cali)#