cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:56a, 9/30/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/DAHCW17Pm9C
ATTENDANCE: 66.087
west virginia at pittsburgh acrisure stadium in STEEL TOWN
saturday september 14, 2024


lil kids & hostile road game venues r loud & FUN (r the bears practicing the silent count snaps??)#

3:30 pm local time kick off is perfect, our california golden bears true student athletes charter plane flight will get back to the bay around midnite & shocky will get the 1st tee time at either oakmont or fox chapel for a brisk morning walk in steel town



**** franco harris & spaghetti o's#
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12:07p, 9/30/24

3.75 gpa left from ewa beach with academic ambition#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD
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12:41p, 9/30/24

collin, ur new BUZZ cut is doing u no favors, koa got more hair than u amigo

max, ur BUZZED, let's try to sober up before u compete for the trophy at tpc summerlin in 3 weeks with ur former teammate michael kim
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Econ141
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2:39p, 9/30/24
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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2:54p, 9/30/24
^ literally every one on planet earth is hyping the cal vs miami battle EXCEPT knowlton, markeisha & the person that allows them to continue to cash paychecks/**** up the football & basketball programs chancellor lyons

knowlton hates berkeley, did u know he had never been to cali before his athletic director interview & that he lied to carol about the northwestern opening (my chicago golf buddy/longtime northwestern trustee tole me jimbo had ZERO chance of getting hired) which he leveraged her for an escalating $1,300,000 salary thru 2029?

jim is the only collegiate athletic director in the nation that does not have either a twitter/instagram account & he refuses all media interview requests....his latest Knowlton Knows Nothing notes as usual contains no financial information re: the tens of millions of dollars that are being borrowed from the central campus or a plan to balance the budget (i.e. making the necessary sports teams cuts)...yeah this is the same guy who used an expensive search firm to hire mark fox & then unilaterally extended fox another year after losing almost 30 games

markeisha is both arrogant & non innovative while focusing on her career promotional groups, did u know she had never sold football tixs before knowlton hired her as marketing director & that she wuz 100% disinterested when the national billboard campaign wuz brought to her attention?

and thru my public information requests with dan mogulof it can be deduced that chancellor lyons is not gonna fire evil as **** jennifer simon-o'neil who enabled mckeever to create a women's swimming environment of suicidal swimmers & anti black racist behavior all the while knowlton has supported her career to the #2 role in the department

there is growing consensus in the donor community that promoting football chief of staff andrew mcgraw (a berkeley grad that walked on for football/played in the band) is the BEST person to become the next athletic director, he already knows the landscape/the staff & won't have to go on a bureaucratic 36 month listening tour before doing anything

time to turn over a new leaf in berkeley

https://instagr.am/p/DAi5AqcNYx0
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2:55p, 9/30/24
https://instagr.am/p/CinJIYorcYG
THE JET!!!! is a killah mamushi and a star star star star star star
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In reply to Shocky1 • 3:08p, 9/30/24
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:


this saturday morning shocky went to princess courtney's fun outfield yoga event (she wuz truly in her element) at the salt river fields (spring training home of the dbacks or something)
https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17898123008810124/

the following is a loose transcript of my sorta telepathic conversation afterwards at the tree fort with my doggys when i walked into the kitchen with my golden bear blue yoga mat & sandals with major grass clippings on the way to dropping them in the pool for a little cleaning

benji (see foto above, he's 100% like his human shocky, both annoying as **** & loveable): hey, slow down there big guy, what's up with the grass clippings?...did you go on a lucky leash hike without us?...did you get lost?

shocky: benji, this morning's yoga class wuz for humans, not doggys, sorry

benji (sniffing everything like a maniac): what, i don't believe you...who would not wanna include me?...plus this grass is very suspicious with its high fertilizer content and no doggy pee smells, is this grass from uranus or something?

beauty (benji's tiny black furball sister, just rescued/adopted her, couldn't split them up forever): relax benji, daddy can take us for a walk now before his bears game

misty mae (an oldy but goody): hey, stella & mugsy (the cats) ate part of my breakfast!

shocky: ay caramba, where's the lucky leashes?

who saved who?#


conversation with the doggys after our morning mountain hike a couple of minutes ago, a successful venture with no cacti in our paws

benji: hey big guy, how come i'm not invited to noon yoga, what about me?

shocky: benji, what would you even do at class?

benji: well, for starters i would warmly greet everyone & make sure they had plenty of water in their dishes

beauty: benji, be nice to daddy, we can do yoga in the backyard while he's gone, ok?

benji: beauty, that's not the same thing!

misty mae: hey, when you guys are done talking about this stupid yoga can we get some breakfast served around here?

shocky: look, benji, yoga classes are for humans but i'll tell you what, next time we do an afternoon nap you can be the sofa king & get first choice on the cloud

benji (leaping up in excitement): yes!!!

stella & mugsy (licking their paws & shaking their heads from their perches on the kitchen counter)



doggy drama with scrappy doo#
benji update: his dad teed off at 6:00 am this morning as a single & walked 18 holes finishing around 8:30 am...when reaching the par 5 18th green the greens agronomy staff wuz rolling the green so shocky started to pick up his ball when they all hopped off their mowers & with big smiles tole me to putt out...so shocky rolled in a 35 foot double breaking birdie putt which made him smile as they enthusiastically clapped

get home & while cleaning my clubs/grassy shoes in the garage benji unlike the rest of the pack hops in my wheels & won't get out...every rescue dog i've ever had has been kinda afraid of cars, that means ur going to the pound or something

anyways benji goes with me on my errands & we roll down the top so we can both feel the breeze on our faces while his tail wags uncontrollably...and benji gets a mini steak bone treat at the drive thru cleaners from kai who also tells benji he's such a good boy!!!

benji's 100% happiness is a reminder that it's the SMALL things in life that make our time on planet earth so special & to be treasured

yeah shocky would be really happy/get a GLIMMER this saturday nite if coach bloesch would just scheme jaydn ott & THE JET!!!! on the edges in wide open space so they're OFF TO THE RACES (which is more fun that running into telephone poles) via ******* PITCHOUTS!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_1WmjWy-ty
a wrinkle in time (the best 5 minutes of the day)#
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8:12p, 9/30/24



reese, the x man, ryan, cheik & serigne r gonna **** up the canes!!!!!#
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8:16p, 9/30/24
^ daily 32 oz green juices/clean diets r the ENERGY boost!!!

https://instagr.am/p/C18XV2HrXKD
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10:28p, 9/30/24
https://instagr.am/p/CQ6pLcgArQx
jared goff, berkeley & stinson beach high school grad
tonite: 18 for 18 passes completed for 292 yards & 2 touchdowns
plus a curvy brunette yoga female wife

cal is a DREAM school (just ask jerry)#
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Econ141
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11:18p, 9/30/24
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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7:23a, 10/1/24

WAKE THE **** UP: this is wut creative playcalling that schemes running backs to the edges in wide open space via PITCHOUTS combined with mother******* bad azz VIOLENT downfield BLOCKING (which even includes qb1 drones) looks like, got it?

let's be very clear here, ok?...coach bloesch's 1980s smash mouth texas high school play calling (this **** didn't work again uc davis & it's sure as **** isn't gonna work against miami) repeatedly running an all american rb (preseason ranked as the #1 rb to be selected in the 2025 nfl draft) intentionally into telephone poles is really dumb as **** & coach toler's wideout room is the WORST downfield BLOCKING unit in college football (and it's been that way for years)

serious ******* question: r u an alpha predator or r u a candy azz soft incel??



joc: plz do me a solid & play this post to the guys at the start of this morning's wr room meeting, thx
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11:48a, 10/1/24
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12:22p, 10/1/24
https://instagr.am/p/CLfq7alDgBj
cal's monster class message to coach toler:

look, doms wuz a cal dance squad member NOT a wideout, it's not her job to violently block downfield against them weather channel miami hurricanes, got it?

even tho ur a berkeley grad this might be too complicated for u to comprehend so go ahead & ask ur wife how this **** works, ok?

ur ******* welcome
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:04p, 10/1/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/C_jPWGCvwia
INJURY UPDATE (florida state):

watched reese move while on the field during pregame warm ups & david looked ready to roll but like jaydn who also took pregame snaps wuz held outta the game by the medical staff

the great news is that both david reese & jaydn ott are expected to be return to action next saturday nite in tallahassee along with potential starting trench workers sioape vatikani & will mcdonald...also expected to play an increasingly larger role is josiah martin (took a reverse flip pitch out for an explosive play downfield on his 1st snap as a college player but it wuz nullified by a penalty, his long strides & unreal acceleration is reminiscent of keenan allen) as a wide out, megan thee stallion's boyfriend wuz described by the staff prior to the season as a "potential nfl talent" & the most game ready player in the 2024 class...it's not clear if starting defensive tackle ricky correia will be ready by next saturday nite

the bears elite corner back marcus harris served his suspension during the 1st half & safety craig woodson dnp in the 2nd half last nite but both will be in the starting lineup against the seminoles

make no mistake about it the bears will be the closest to 100% putting out its best players on the field for the 1st time this season in tallahassee...football is a violent sport & a lotta 2s on the depth chart have gotten significant reps during the golden bears 3-0 start

this **** is getting live!!!!!!#
INJURY UPDATE (miami):

the bye week could not have come at a better time for the cal football program, road grading starting right guard sioape vatikani is practicing & is probable for this week...also probable is lockdown nickel back matthew littlejohn, the seminoles late touchdown pass wuz defended by his back up ja'ir...tobias merriweather & kyion grayes are still day to day, will be fun to watch pregame warm ups an hour before the game to see if they're running with the 1s/2s....coach toler gotta find some alpha predators that wanna BLOCK & these guys arrive in berkeley from programs such as notre dame, ohio state & so forth where candy azz soft downfield blocking is NOT ******* acceptable

the emotional leader of the cal d david reese played situational passing situations against the seminoles & did not look fully explosive yet, 2 more weeks later he should be ready to **** up the canes Cameron ward

inside backer/special teamer liam johnson got his 1st action last week on special teams in tallahassee

and yeah jaydn ott gotta another week to heal/rehab his banged up ankle, if our all american can cut on a dime & if coach bloesch dials up plays on the edges in wide open space via PITCHOUTS, then our all american poly is gonna be OFF TO THE ******* RACES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:59p, 10/1/24
Shocky1 said:
kinderhook, will be interesting (and revealing) to see what the 3.75 gpa jks values/prioritezes in life, will the lefty from ewa beach be purchased like a high end escort by uncle phil as oregon stacks qbs (multiple former 5 star guys like dante moore think they are the "next" guy) at an academically mediocre school (which will not prepare him for building generational wealth once football is done with him) or will jaron stay committed to cal's clear path to a future qb1 role in the warmer cali sunshine at the #1 ranked public university in the world??

if jks takes an official visit to another school, then it will be time to extend an actionable offer to another qb in the 2025 class...this will all play out one way or the other in the very near future
2025 & 2026 cal quarterback recruiting update:

jaron is a cal commit & has a stated preference for warm weather (eugene is cold as **** for almost half the year, it's not like ewa beach)...furthermore the ducks slick used car salesperson staff is telling him the same fake promises of nfl stardom & future nike employment just like they did to current qb2 dante moore (the #1 ranked qb in the 2023 class) & current 2025 qb commit 6'5" 215 lbs freak +2 athletic akili smith jr (#1 ranked dual threat qb in the 2025 class, dad wuz a standout oregon qb back in the day but could become a potential cal flip target), oregon is lying/overpromising recruits while stacking qbs

a lot of the jks final decision boils down to whether the 3.75 true student athlete wanna take a chance in the stacking oregon qb room & earn a kinda worthless degree that will only set him up for valeting rental cars at the mauna kea resort in the future or does he wanna earn a degree at the #1 ranked public university in the world that produced nfl stars jared goff & aaron rodgers??

with jks weighing his options right now, the 2026 qb evaluation/recruitment takes on even greater importance...right now the 2026 qb1 #1 target to likely receive an actionable offer is 6'3" 192 lbs derek garcia from ventura high school

bears qb coach sterlin gilbert scouted garcia at his game last weekend in so cal & derek will be traveling to berkeley this weekend for the electric gameday miami atmosphere

garcia is a highly accurate passer, he throws a very catchable spiral & plays with a high football iq as the field general

garcia can also make plays with his feet as a +1 athletic dual threat...note how he attacks the defender initiating the contact/collision (not sliding), this is a tough young man

derek is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.7 gpa (wuz 3.8)...garcia recently took an unofficial visit to kansas & mr smarty pants noted there's not a lot to do in manhattan kansas...apparently derek is kinda like shocky, he's not a big fan of white girls that can bench 200+ lbs & that got farming equipment tattoos

if nando don't take derek to la burrita, ay caramba!!

the university of california, berkeley=#1 numero uno public university en todo el mundo (for latino qbs like mendoza & garcia, comprende amigo?)


do u wanna be living in ur parents garage when ur 30 years old or do u wanna do the hard work for an elite education that is transformational for building generational wealth??

don't be a dumb azz#
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Shocky1
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9:27p, 10/1/24

chills (do u bleed blue & gold or r u a gameday thread posting sofa king??)#

^ a life lived detached from energy/excitment is not much of a life
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 3:03a, 10/2/24
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
kinderhook, will be interesting (and revealing) to see what the 3.75 gpa jks values/prioritezes in life, will the lefty from ewa beach be purchased like a high end escort by uncle phil as oregon stacks qbs (multiple former 5 star guys like dante moore think they are the "next" guy) at an academically mediocre school (which will not prepare him for building generational wealth once football is done with him) or will jaron stay committed to cal's clear path to a future qb1 role in the warmer cali sunshine at the #1 ranked public university in the world??

if jks takes an official visit to another school, then it will be time to extend an actionable offer to another qb in the 2025 class...this will all play out one way or the other in the very near future
2025 & 2026 cal quarterback recruiting update:

jaron is a cal commit & has a stated preference for warm weather (eugene is cold as **** for almost half the year, it's not like ewa beach)...furthermore the ducks slick used car salesperson staff is telling him the same fake promises of nfl stardom & future nike employment just like they did to current qb2 dante moore (the #1 ranked qb in the 2023 class) & current 2025 qb commit 6'5" 215 lbs freak +2 athletic akili smith jr (#1 ranked dual threat qb in the 2025 class, dad wuz.a standout oregon qb back in the day but could become a potential cal flip target), oregon is lying/overpromising recruits while stacking qbs

a lot of the jks final decision boils down to whether the 3.75 true student athlete wanna take a chance in the stacking oregon qb room & earn a kinda worthless degree that will only set him up for valeting rental cars at the mauna kea resort in the future or does he wanna earn a degree at the #1 ranked public university in the world that produced nfl stars jared goff & aaron rodgers??

with jks weighing his options right now, the 2026 qb evaluation/recruitment takes on even greater importance...right now the 2026 qb1 #1 target to likely receive an actionable offer is 6'3" 192 lbs derek garcia from ventura high school

bears qb coach sterlin gilbert scouted garcia at his game last weekend in so cal & derek will be traveling to berkeley this weekend for the electric gameday miami atmosphere

garcia is a highly accurate passer, he throws a very catchable spiral & plays with a high football iq as the field general

garcia can also make plays with his feet as a +1 athletic dual threat...note how he attacks the defender initiating the contact/collision (not sliding), this is a tough young man

derek is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.7 gpa (wuz 3.8)...garcia recently took an unofficial visit to kansas & mr smarty pants noted there's not a lot to do in manhattan kansas...apparently derek is kinda like shocky, he's not a big fan of white girls that can bench 200+ lbs & that got farming equipment tattoos

if nando don't take derek to la burrita, ay caramba!!

the university of california, berkeley=#1 numero uno public university en todo el mundo (for latino qbs like mendoza & garcia, comprende amigo?)


do u wanna be living in ur parents garage when ur 30 years old or do u wanna do the hard work for an elite education that is transformational for building generational wealth??

don't be a dumb azz#
2026 cal quarterback recruting update: part deux

also taking an unofficial visit to berkeley this weekend is 6'3" 185 lbs fast rising lefty wyatt walker brown from santa monica high school (home of 3 year berkeley grad former cal hoop dreams star jordan matthews)


brown is a crafty high football iq dual threat athlete that is only 16 years old & still developing with an elite upside


wyatt is not a dumb azz, he got a 4.0 gpa at a highly competitive academic high school near riviera & not further afar from shocky's beloved amici with its tasty northern italian cuisine (the linguine con vongole slaps & is way the **** more tasty than grilled cheese)

https://instagr.am/p/C_LUEB4x4jE

go vikings (to the bay, r u mentally hungry??)#
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Shocky1
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4:18a, 10/2/24

dumb as **** special teams decisions:

why exactly again did longwell run off mateen bhaghani (whose parents reached out to me after last season to share insights re: their high gpa son who wuz striving to gain admission into the haas biz school, bearents often unilaterally reach out to me) who is 8 of 9 on field goals this season at ucla (wuz 8 of 9 for cal in 2023) with a long of 54 yards (funny the insider fake narrative is that he don't got a big leg, haha)??

keep in mind ryan also failed to develop michael luckhurst yet wuz inexplicably loyal to 3 iron trajectory dario longhetto whose line drive kicks cost the bears multiple games over multiple seasons

and yet somehow justin thinks the bears are lucky to have longwell on the staff??

mark my words, there are few (like zero) kicking/special teams coaches with worse statistical metrics than coach wilcox's longtime buddy longwell
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:22a, 10/2/24
Shocky1 said:

dumb as **** special teams decisions:

why exactly again did longwell run off mateen bhaghani (whose parents reached out to me after last season to share insights, bearents often unilaterally reach out to me) who is 8 of 9 on field goals this season at ucla (wuz 8 of 9 for cal in 2023) with a long of 54 yards (funny the insider fake narrative is that he don't got a big leg, haha)??

keep in mind ryan also failed to develop michael luckhurst yet wuz inexplicably loyal to 3 iron trajectory dario longhetto whose line drive kicks cost the bears multiple games over multiple seasons

and yet somehow justin thinks the bears are lucky to have longwell on the staff??


Yah, but he's a good guy.
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4:31a, 10/2/24
one of justin's weakness (none of us r super heroes) is that he favors guys he'd like to have a cool brewski or two with at the lake in hiring decisions

to longwell's credit, both punter lachlan wilson & longsnapper david bird r having standout seasons & r legit nfl prospects

trust me, charlie ragle & billy musgrave r ****shows

https://instagr.am/p/DAgjzROsYrZ
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:49a, 10/2/24
Shocky1 said:
one of justin's weakness (none of us r super heroes) is that he favors guys he'd like to have a cool brewski or two with at the lake in hiring decisions

to longwell's credit, both punter lachlan wilson & longsnapper david bird r having standout seasons & r legit nfl prospects

trust me, charlie ragle & billy musgrave r ****shows

https://instagr.am/p/DAgjzROsYrZ


Yep. Being a leader is hard and only a few have what it takes. I don't. It's why I spent my career behind a computer. Luckily I don't think I short changed my kids too much. And...I have a very, uh..., strong wife.
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10:16a, 10/2/24

the college football world got eyes on berkeley#
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11:44a, 10/2/24

wake the **** up ucla update:

femi (still running full steam into the wrong gap holes) & j-mike (can't create separation but really good at 1-2 yard out routes) are leading the ucla bruins (1-3) into this weekend's battle at #7 ranked penn state with qb1 ethan garbers (ankle injury, did not practice today/this week) concussed last weekend getting brutally sacked multiple times

8 stds clap (n westwood)#
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sycasey
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In reply to Shocky1 • 12:46p, 10/2/24
Shocky1 said:

the college football world got eyes on berkeley#
Of course, Herbie HAS been to Cal to call the Tennessee game in 2007. Just not for GameDay.
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Econ141
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12:59p, 10/2/24

I guess money talks, academics walk?
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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rkt88edmo
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In reply to Shocky1 • 1:17p, 10/2/24
Shocky1 said:

dumb as **** special teams decisions:

why exactly again did longwell run off mateen bhaghani (whose parents reached out to me after last season to share insights re: their high gpa son who wuz striving to gain admission into the haas biz school, bearents often unilaterally reach out to me) who is 8 of 9 on field goals this season at ucla (wuz 8 of 9 for cal in 2023) with a long of 54 yards (funny the insider fake narrative is that he don't got a big leg, haha)??

keep in mind ryan also failed to develop michael luckhurst yet wuz inexplicably loyal to 3 iron trajectory dario longhetto whose line drive kicks cost the bears multiple games over multiple seasons

and yet somehow justin thinks the bears are lucky to have longwell on the staff??

mark my words, there are few (like zero) kicking/special teams coaches with worse statistical metrics than coach wilcox's longtime buddy longwell
This is fkn unbelievable. Love the touchbacks but can't stand the sub 35 misses. To have not retained Bhagani was a clear mistake. Can Lachlan rugby kick short field goals?
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1:38p, 10/2/24
rkt, shocky passed along the parents concerns to the staff & wuz told by those that he implicitly trusts that mateen wuz treated fairly

but at the end of the day the aspiring haas biz ad student who wuz for 8 for 9 on field goals wuz not offered a cal scholly (which wuz promised if he won the starting position) & after considering both ucla & stanford portal transferred to westwood

look nobody is perfect but the margin for error in winning collegiate football games in razor thin & making personnel mistakes is sometimes the difference between an actual 3-1 record and a probable 4-0 record

justin needs to evaluate why there's been a succession of poor place kicking in berkeley during his head coach days & why ryan's nfl experience is not translating to his kickers getting the job done
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 1:42p, 10/2/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/DAHCW17Pm9C
ATTENDANCE: 66.087
west virginia at pittsburgh acrisure stadium in STEEL TOWN
saturday september 14, 2024


lil kids & hostile road game venues r loud & FUN (r the bears practicing the silent count snaps??)#
good news: coach bloesch gotta disciplined gameplan to rectify the problem & now the trench workers are practicing the silent county snaps AT EVERY SINGLE PRACTICE including last week's bye work!!!
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rkt88edmo
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1:43p, 10/2/24
What's his record on touchbacks - I know that was one of the main points of contention in the leg strength argument I'd think another year of S&C has gotten his extended his range. Or does ucLA not even score enough to have a high enough N to evaluate touchbacks?
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Shocky1
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1:52p, 10/2/24
rkt, got no idea about ucla touchbacks but the reality is that the bears could've offered the kicker scholly to the ice in his veins 90% successful mateen & then had michael luckhurst handle kickoffs which wuz a pretty good combo last season...right now bhagani's collegiate career field goal record is 16 out of 18!!!


mateen handled the kickoffs in a game last season, his parents tole me that longwell flew in from his home across the country (which he did sporadically during the season, ryan wuz apparently on the knowlton work outta state program) & tole mateen to short kick it during the game which wuz not practiced at all that week...so mateen does what he's told to do, there's a big return, and then there's a false narrative (with no explanation to the press by longwell or wilcox that the short kick wuz by design) started by the insiders that bhaghani don't got a big enough leg which is bull****

https://instagr.am/p/DAg5EMWJM8M
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Shocky1
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5:44p, 10/2/24
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rkt88edmo
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8:12p, 10/2/24
giving away white Ts for the GOLD OUT GAME - it's not too late to get the right color shirt

Shocky thanks for the reminders re what went down with MB, that's a real shame.
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Econ141
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8:20p, 10/2/24
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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Shocky1
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9:43p, 10/2/24

the magic of cal football (is inclusive of the mentally unhinged)#
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