cal's monster offensive line

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grrrrah
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JSK-relevant recruiting update:
It is reported that 5 star USC QB commit Julian Lewis will be visiting UGA for the Tennessee game this weekend and is a very possible flip.
Yet another benefit of USC tanking.
https://www.si.com/college/usc/football/usc-trojans-julian-lewis-georgia-bulldogs-recruiting-flip-commit-signing-lincoln-riley-kirby-smart-5-star-quarterback-sec#:~:text=The%20USC%20Trojans%20are%20in,Bulldogs%20and%20coach%20Kirby%20Smart.

Shocky1
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wheels up (to the center of the universe)#
Shocky1
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grrrah (thx for posting this), georgia like oregon is playing all sides of the coin in their 2025 qb recruiting

it will only take the jks family taking one 30 minute detour (to a cafe, liquor store, gun shop in athens) without any identifying football recruiting credentials away from the highly scripted/structured bulldogs recruiting trip to fully understand the subtle & not so subtle racism in the deep south that does not exist in ewa beach



the university of calfornia, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna live in the beautifully diverse/cosmopolitan san francisco bay area & build generation wealth thru a multi faceted strategy including nfl development like jared goff & aaron rodgers in the acc & hard work in the classrooms of berkeley)
harebear
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FYI that was a PITCH OUT to J.O. with 3 mins left in the 2nd q. He got dropped for a loss.
Shocky1
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hare, my deal with coach wuz for a PITCHOUT in the 1st series not close to halftime

shocky went to the stadium club (thx to my haas brah eric) for the 1st time at halftime, they gotta lotta unhealthy **** in there, could not get a 32 oz green juice...they got a couple of hot dishes like 30 day old deep fried barracuda, a carving station with more starches than protein, a desert area with yucky kinda stale looking cookies, a candy station (unlimited m&m's, starbursts, hershey kisses, etc) with a refrigerated ice cream bar padlock with 7 types of winter wonderland & of course a full bar with titos overlooking the golden gate bridge...and all this **** is FREE!!

just like the university club, the inhabitants of the stadium club seemed more interested in prepping themselves for angioplasty positive diagnoses & getting **** faced than actually going back to their seats & watching the football game that wuz going on at memorial stadium

shocky is seriously probably gonna hurl some vomit projectiles on the flite home now back to the desert

https://instagr.am/p/Bda6tzUj30r
clean up in aisle 3#
sonofabear51
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Seems like that unhealthy @#$% has spread to the coaching staff as well.
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


cal's monster class OFFICIAL editorial re: the bears next football head coach

how cal can learn from asu (beyond on how to become a curvy brunette yoga female azz stripper that's wearing zimmerman):

picked to finish last in the big 12 this season asu is arguably the biggest SURPRISE team on planet earth & after decisively thumping oklahoma state 44-21 yesterday on the road is now 6-2 & bowl eligible with program energy/tix sales exploding!!

34 year old kyle dillingham is a valley of the sun native & graduated from asu in 2012, a decade later he wuz hired as the head coach at age 32

asu's biggest football donor/a golf buddy of shocky, mr silvefleaf sun angel tole me this afternoon while walking our doggy dogs up the mountain in a refreshing lite rain that in this nil era that recruiting/player retention & player buy in to offensive/defensive schemes is best done by relatable young head coaches that are loved/respected by every player on the roster & that got true meaningful relationships with everybody on the roster, assistant coaches/staff, the students, the fanbase & the whale donors that are paying for the players every season...as a tempe alum dilly is considered to not likely take another head coaching job at another school, asu is boiling in his blood since his 1st sun devils game at age 6

fun fact: dilly says bad words just like shocky (our moms r not proud of that ****)!!

so the era of old white guys who are unrelatable is kinda over, football (and basketball) is gonna see younger & younger head coaches flourish kinda like berkeley grad dennis gates...dennis is a very close friend with my brah sir richard midgley & has tole me about his 15 minute telephonic dumb as **** interview with knowlton who asked multiple clueless questions when he wuz an assistant coach at florida state in prep work for march madness...let me be very clear about this, one of the most promising young head coaches in collegiate basketball thinks knowlton is a dumb **** as does jaylen brown, got it?

25 year old haas biz ad grad (the only player on cal's 2024 roster in the biz ad program is fernando mendoza) mike saffell is gonna be 29 years old when wilcox's contract runs out in 2028 (after the 2027 season) & he's already building support as the future head coach in waiting



it's gonna take a berkeley grad chancellor (also a haas biz ad major like shocky) like rich lyons to make the right moves to save cal's revenue sports which will include the promotion of berkeley grad andrew mcgraw to athletic director...it's passionate berkeley grads like the tireless/relentless kevin kennedy along with football whale donor lance cooper (there are 2 other seven digit football nil donors that are not in the jeans biz) working to construct the 2024 & 2025 rosters with ELITE athletes that also got academic ambition...there's no reason to subcontract the athletic department to berkeley grads (which will never get approved by the ncca or the uc system board of regents), it's already happening right NOW

yeah it's gonna take berkeley grads leading the way, retaining non berkeley grad ****tards like knowlton, markeisha & simon-o'neil is NOT the solution

mike saffell=future cal football head coach in training/waiting
https://instagr.am/p/CxTp2WiL2s3
syracuse orange 33
california sleepy azz golden bears 25

as everybody on planet earth already knows the bears wuz not mentally prepared to play a football game against a much more physical team that traveled 3,000+ miles from the east coast

collegiate head coaches in every sport in today's era are getting younger & younger, being able to relate (not reading from a script/kindle) in a passionate way to athletes only a few years older is the current trend for consistent fired up play on gamedays

will be very revealing to see how this team responds next saturday in the big game...

https://instagr.am/p/C3I3nPQsogb
shocky's love letter to cal football (got returned as undeliverable)#
Shocky1
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the following is a loose transcript of a conversation before the opening kick off:

shocky (fist bumping everyone in the fam): where did you grow up?

javona thomas (javian's moms); grew up in oakland just like my son

shocky: how's javian doing in the classroom and wut's his major?

javona: he loves berkeley and he's majoring in kinesiology and wants to become a physical therapist, he wants to give back to his community!!

shocky: that's awesome!!...are you a fan of all the interior run calls, would you like to see more PITCHOUTS?

javona: would definitely like to see some PITCHOUTS

shocky: ima gonna quote you on that, ok?

javona: you do that!!

shocky (saying goodbye to the fam with them all smiling/laughing): THE JETT!!!! is a star star star star star star

calumnus
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My take on pitch outs is: 1) never to the short side of the field and 2) instead of having the WR stay home to block, signaling to the CB it is a run, he should go long either opening up a lane or opening up the fake pitch deep ball or the RB pass to the wide open WR.
bearsandgiants
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Georgia kicker 37-37 inside of 50. lol
Shocky1
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wut up fernando?

shocky talked on the phone on the flite home to the desert with a former cal qb1 who prefers to not be named (he might've played at stinson beach high school back in the day) who says ur STARING DOWN ur receivers & telegraphing ur passes

look we're both haas biz ad guys who love doggy dogs so it's not too surprising that we both got STARING issues, ok?...shocky also got a recent bad habit of tugging on the PONYTAILS of teachers & students at modern yoga like a petulant 4th grade boy, wut's up with that ****??

https://instagr.am/p/C9Vb3OvpIvy
this is correctable, nando, everyone knows ur from biscayne bay (where the cuban gentlemen sleep all day) & that u got ojos grande en su cabeza so there's no need to burn a hole in jack endries, got it?

don't tell nobody but shocky just got back to his tree fort & threw up all the stadium club no bueno comida in the baby palm trees next to the water feature in the courtyard & then let his doggy dogs LICK his face clean!!



bad habits r triggering (but can be overcome...sort of)#
Shocky1
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2024 pga tournament in bermuda:

on a very windy day with swirling tropical winds michael kim controlled his irons ball flight trajectory (hitting 14 of 18 greens in regulations despite hitting only 5 of 14 fairways) en route to a 68 is tied for 48th...heading into tomorrow's final round michael is projected #120 in the pga standings (top 125 retain their pga card for 2025)
Shocky1
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stanford cardinals 38
louisville cardinal 35

offensively the cards got a surprise breakout wide receiver performance from emmett mosley v who caught an unreal 13 passes for 168 yards...stanford only rushed for 83 yards (2.2 rushing average) against the louisville d (berkeley grad myles jernigan with 1 tackle for the game)

defensively the cards gave up 432 yards (270 in the air & 162 on the ground) with zero sacks, if cal's monster offensive line can't control the line of scrimmage vs stanford (3-7) next saturday in the BIG GAME we're ******
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/Cg7P8ekrM7W
north carolina tar heels 31
wake forest demon deacons 24

coach christy couldn't cheer her wake squad (4-6) to a victory over their in state rival
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DBKJIDYBrT8
clemson tigers 24
pittsburgh panthers 20

pitt (7-3) played clemson tough but couldn't deliver the knock out hammer shot in steel town
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DBP1X2tvV_k
air force academy falcons 28
oregon state beavers 0

in the only game that mattered today to cal's current athletic director, gevani mccoy is now somehow qb1 for oregon state (4-6)
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/CfSl6SmNNkC
auburn tigers/war eagles 48
ul monroe warhawks 14

fun fact: great day for the auburn (4-6) mrs degree graduation ceremonies!!
Shocky1
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montana state bobcats 30
uc davis aggies 28

does shredville (9-2) got any more teddye buchanan's that wanna upgrade their uc resumes?
oskiswifeshusband
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Shocky, how are the doggies ?!??

I think I'm more interested in your doggy rescue than football at this point in time !
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C0hObrrsWpD
oskisgfisbangingbucee, thx for asking, benji aka scrappy doo is kinda the alpha male (after shocky of course) of my rescue doggy dogs pack these days, he gets 1st choice on the cloud when it's afternoon nap time!!

https://instagr.am/p/DBg62tWSKMm
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/Cs43nM5sz2u
smu mustangs 38
boston college eagles 28

offensively ponys qb1 kevin jennings is a stormtrooper throwing for 298 yards on 24 of 35 passes while rb1 brashard smith rushed for 120 yards on 18 carries

defensively smu (9-1) gave up a porous 237 yards in the air & 180 yards on the ground
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C-g54ieJMX4
king of the hill: institutionalizing offensive coaching incompetence

the bears once again screwed up clock mismanagement at the end of the 1st half thru disorganized huddling as precious seconds ticked away wuz reminiscent of a texas high junior varsity coaching staff anchored by volunteers

but when justin spoke in the press conference after the game he NEVER mentioned his staff's continued clock mismangement or the complete lack of BLOCKING by both the wide receiver & tight end rooms (not giving these 2 rooms only violent blocker corey dyches more snaps is coaching malpractice)

basically unlike his detailed dissection of defensive miscues, wilcox thinks its normal to fumble clock management at the end of halves, for the wideouts & tight ends not to block in the run game & not scheme/playcall PITCHOUTS like ron gould routinely did when bears running backs wuz routinely developed to get PAID in the national football league
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DA1wtsoSG9U
unlv rebels 41
san diego state aztecs 20

when the bears play the aztecs (3-7) in september of 2025 at legoland's monster stage neither team at this time looks very scary azz
82gradDLSdad
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Thanks Shocky, for the recap of the Cal opponents' scores. Unfortunately it points out that we have beat ****ty teams and lost to mediocre ones. Honestly, and I've had this feeling many times before, we are in the broken toilet days of Cal football...just swirling around in the bowl not able to flush because of clogged jets. Sorry for that toilet metaphor, I just had to replace one of ours. The sad part is that with toilets it's easy and satisfying. With overpaid coaches and administrations it apparently is not. I wish Cal alum David Friedburg of the All In podcast would donate some of his billion dollar net worth to help fix Cal athletic's 'toilet' problem. He's fresh in my mind of rich Cal alums as I watch the most recent version of All In and after a recent Pacific Heights walk past his house in SF. His house is incredible.
Shocky1
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congrats to michael kim on once again controlling his ball flight thru ball striking trajectories & draining putts kinda like he wuz at castles n coasters or something en route to dazzling sparkly blue 66 & moving up/closing like a boss man 36 spots to finish tied for 12th...michael is now #110 on the season long pga race to retain his 2025 pga tour card (awarded to the top 125) with only 1 tournament left at the scenic sea island

there's gonna be 4 california golden bears on the 2025 pga tour with michael kim joining collin morikawa (done for the year, turned down an invitation to tiger's exclusive small field in the bahamas next month), max homa (will be defending in early december his 2023 dp tour victory in south africa) & ben an (last tournament wuz his exciting/emotionmal dp tour championship in seoul south korea in front of his family) on golf's biggest stages on planet earth!!!!


cal is a golf school (but that don't change the fact that clothes/obeying traffic law while riding a scooter in bermuda is for losers)#
Shocky1
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the 127th BIG GAME!!#

fun fact: stinson beach (home of shocky's 1st kiss that did not involve either his moms or a doggy dog)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>atherton






^ right billy rosier?
HoopDreams
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[url=https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCgC1d-xf0j/] [/url]
Shocky1
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real talk: multiple TAKERS lost critical nfl draft stock on saturday giving up 11 receptions to ordonde gadsden & 8 to trebor pena...if u wanna get PAID in the national football league (where literally all the receivers are as good if not better than the syracuse wr1 & wr2) then u gotta have the necessary SPEED to close on balls, the predator instincts to anticipate downfield vertical passing patterns & TACKLE cleanly without getting dragged for yards after catch

stanford's team strength is their ELITE wide receiver room, r the TAKERS gonna show up saturday??

https://instagr.am/p/DAb8NtkBYtv
^ jasmine gotta good curvy brunette yoga female PONYTAIL plus she SMILES a lot tho belle is wearing triggering cal colors & she's KIND to dumb azz beasts who tell her she can never go to the west wing!!...anybody got the deets (such as her gpa & so forth) on the tan brunette in the green dress??

r the TAKERS taking steps towards a happy fairy tail ending or just another candy azz soft **** show??#
Shocky1
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stanford football update:

emmett mosley just watched the video of the cal defensive backs tryna defend the syracuse wide receivers and has issued the following statement:

"The TAKERS gotta be the most overrated slow as **** defensive backs on planet earth, I'm gonna go for the all time ACC receiving record of 300+ yards this Saturday, the **** if these guys think their evah gonna get PAID in the National ******* Football League. And yeah my high school GPA wuz 3.96!!"
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/Ct23wEUO_Ib
reason #476 why going to cal football games is way more FUN than posting like a sofa king on gameday threads:

so one of the highlights of the roadie to wake forest wuz seeing up close in person the demon deacons cheer/dance coach christy on her squad's platform overlooking the cal sidelines...while demonstrating the wicked demon deacs moves to her squad, shocky mimicked all her spirit moves with world class energy which got the monster a huge smile from christy (and maybe some *** looks from the wake fanbase)!!

fyi, if shocky evah decides to get a transgender operation (rite now the monster is a he/him/doggy dog), he will probably be a wake forest dancer & get epic hugs before/after every practice from coach christy!!...she will probably just think that poor ol' shockalina is just emotionally needy or something...haha, fooled her, it started with a kiss (how did it end up like this?)...

https://instagr.am/p/C_L7ojKv51Q
to be honest with you this fall's road schedule of auburn with slim wadie (peachtree, shoal creek & wicker point), tallahassee (seminole), pittsburgh (merion & oakmont), winston-salem (old town), berkeley (sf golf, olympic lake & brambles) with dallas (highland park, trinity forest & buc-ee's) later this month has been the most FUN (and yeah frustrating too at time) schedule in the history of my california golden bears football fandom!!

yeah the pac 12 is clearly in the rearview mirrah (**** boring azz lily white eugene & salt lake city), shocky 100% loves the new infusion of energy/experiences with the acc, thx christy!!

don't be a ******* soft king, r u gonna be part of the hostile home field crowd energy at memorial stadium this saturday at noon vs syracuse and/or the BIG GAME (shocky's b-day postgame storming the field celebration) the following saturday??...r u gonna experience in person THE MAGIC OF CAL FOOTBALL??



^ fun fact: substitute "bloody gorgeous" with "so ******* gorgeous"!!



heavy is the head that wears the crown (on doggy dog hikes up the mountain with shocky#


Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

Gotta be honest with you, I've always been wildly attracted to men that wear fuschia socks!!

Anyways thank you for your 37 texts, emails and phone calls letting me know how much FUN you had learning all the Demon Deacon dance moves at our Wake Forest football game, I can tell by your lean (in a feral kinda way) quick twitch +1 athletic hot male yoga body that you would be an outstanding Assistant Coach (or something) for my cheer/dance program!! HR wants to know what's your GPA?

Look Shocky I 100% give you my absolute word that if my husband (who sits on the sofa every Sunday in a nasty azz t-shirt with pizza stains drinking beer watching every NFL game) ever decides to come out of the closet and leave me for a really kind man name Jimmy so they can live together in Cashiers next door to Wade Hampton that you will be the 1st person to know, ok?

Hugs & Kisses!!

Coach Christy

P.S. Demond really enjoyed meeting you before the game at the Washington Perk Cafe in downtown and told me to tell you "Wut up Shocky, ur team's run game scheme are ******* ****!!"
Shocky1
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real talk: the caddie conversations between max & joey just like those between collin & jj r EPIC with a lotta great information but r also slow as ****!!

Shocky1
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^ max literally seconds ago just deleted his tweet of a doggy dog poop icon in response to a tweet documenting that he's one of the slowest players on the pga tour per multiple timed metrics

Shocky1
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the pony express#

the university of calveston=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including the great state of friday nite football stars)
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


the following is a loose transcript of a conversation before the opening kick off:

shocky (fist bumping everyone in the fam): where did you grow up?

javona thomas (javian's moms); grew up in oakland just like my son

shocky: how's javian doing in the classroom and wut's his major?

javona: he loves berkeley and he's majoring in kinesiology and wants to become a physical therapist, he wants to give back to his community!!

shocky: that's awesome!!...are you a fan of all the interior run calls, would you like to see more PITCHOUTS?

javona: would definitely like to see some PITCHOUTS

shocky: ima gonna quote you on that, ok?

javona: you do that!!

shocky (saying goodbye to the fam with them all smiling/laughing): THE JET!!!! is a star star star star star star



fun fact: on javian's 75 yard touchdown run he is literally running directly at his moms javona & their beautiful family sitting a couple rows up in the north endzone, can u imagine THE JET!!!! feeling the rays of the beautiful sun & the gravitational pull of his mom's love toward him??



the MAGIC of cal football (is real if ur paying attention)#
NVBear78
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Shocky1 said:


not the fairybook state championship ending for jks senior season



real talk: football can be taken away forever in a split second (ur gpa/education matters)#



Was he injured in second half?
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