cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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9:14p, 11/21/24



sat afternoon gonna be pound town in berkeley!!#
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2:14a, 11/22/24

https://instagr.am/p/C5OW05zxbu5


cal football is NOT for the candy azz soft (the answer wuz here all the time)#
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3:00a, 11/22/24
https://instagr.am/p/DCmqbJ4ScQR
oregon quarterback recruiting update:

the ducks got their 2026 #1 target jonas williams who fits the ducks offensive schemes of a qb1 with elite running skills (not a nfl pro style dropback passer) who will be joining 5 star donte moore (learning the offense during the 2024 season) & incoming 5 star 6'6" freak +1 athletic akili jones jr (already a local favorite due to his dad's stardom back in the day) in a crowded qb room in eugene

oregon is a ruthless football factory that brings in as many high end disposable gladiators as possible, the ultimate winner of this hunger games qb1 competition needs to be ready if their opportunity arises because they're gonna be ****** if football don't work out for them in today's highly competitive global economy that favors the well educated such as cal, stanford & ivy league grads
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 8:30a, 11/22/24
Shocky1 said:

stanford football update:

emmett mosley just watched the video of the cal defensive backs tryna defend the syracuse wide receivers and has issued the following statement:

"The TAKERS gotta be the most overrated slow as **** defensive backs on planet earth, I'm gonna go for the all time ACC receiving record of 300+ yards this Saturday, the **** if these guys think their evah gonna get PAID in the National ******* Football League. And yeah my high school GPA wuz 3.96!!"
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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:25a, 11/22/24
Shocky1 said:

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

official visit to berkeley with an actionable offer for 2025 6'6" 300 lbs all state offensive tackle simona fuailetolo from desert hills high school in scenic st george utah

not gonna lie to u, ben howard needs a roommate that don't listen to adele & ****

simona is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.3 gpa

yeah fuailetolo knows that a berkeley degree is the bridge to a brighter tomorrow in building generational wealth unlike sorry azz academically mediocre schools like florida, kansas state & oklahoma state...don't fall at arches national park cuz it's a really dangerous precipitous drop off in today's fiercely competitive global economy that favors the well educated like cal, stanford & ivy league grads

https://instagr.am/p/C9hy6DXJnXc

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (just ask the bears #1 wannabe golfer cade uluave)


But "3.3" is kinda straddling the "silver bullet line", isn't it, Shocks?
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juarezbear
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In reply to Pittstop • 10:51a, 11/22/24
Pittstop said:
Shocky1 said:

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

official visit to berkeley with an actionable offer for 2025 6'6" 300 lbs all state offensive tackle simona fuailetolo from desert hills high school in scenic st george utah

not gonna lie to u, ben howard needs a roommate that don't listen to adele & ****

simona is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.3 gpa

yeah fuailetolo knows that a berkeley degree is the bridge to a brighter tomorrow in building generational wealth unlike sorry azz academically mediocre schools like florida, kansas state & oklahoma state...don't fall at arches national park cuz it's a really dangerous precipitous drop off in today's fiercely competitive global economy that favors the well educated like cal, stanford & ivy league grads

https://instagr.am/p/C9hy6DXJnXc

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (just ask the bears #1 wannabe golfer cade uluave)


But "3.3" is kinda straddling the "silver bullet line", isn't it, Shocks?
Not really. I think the line is 3.0
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:27p, 11/22/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/C-dBNUZAsRw
cal's monster class CONGRATULATIONS to the 30 seniors that are currently scheduled to walk on saturday...keep in mind that those noted with another year of eligibility could still possibly return for another season of cal football depending upon nil & playing time (will they start??) considerations, enter the transfer portal (uc davis could be the biggest benefactor) which runs december 9th thru the 28th or retire from football/transition to their next life's adventures

all of these young men are very special individuals & the vast majority of them will go on to do remarkable things in their lives which is typical for those with cal, stanford & ivy league educations!!

*****mavin anderson (eligibility remaining)
*****jake arguello (eligibility remaining)
*****hunter barth (eligibility remaining)
*****teddye buchanan
*****kadarius calloway
*****xavier carlton
*****ryan coe
*****ricky correia
*****collin gamble (eligibility remaining)
*****trond grizzell (eligibility remaining)
*****marcus harris
*****lu magia-hearns iii
*****dylan jemtegaard (eligibility remaining)
*****liam johnson
*****jeffrey johnson (eligibility remaining)
*****matthew littlejohn
*****will mcdonald
*****david reese
*****rush reimer
*****chandler rogers
*****nate rutchena (eligibility remaining)
*****tj session
*****victor stoffel
*****josh stovall (eligibility remaining)
*****derek wilkins (eligibility remaining)
*****miles williams
*****myles williams (eligibility remaining)
*****nohl williams
*****lachlan wilson
*****craig woodson

as the ncca scholly roster cap moves in 2025 from 85 to 105 (the staff will NOT utilize all 105 available schollys, there's no money to do so) there will also be current preferred walk ons who do not return to the program next year (which will see the elimination of all walk ons nationwide), appreciate all their hard work on scout teams!!

lastly huge SHOUT OUT to jaydn ott for stoically/quietly (no media interviews since august, does not want to publicly criticize wilcox, bloesch & thompson for the dangerous & dumb as **** predictable interior run calls which is costing him millions of dollars in the 2025 nfl draft) dealing with an injury (if wilcox don't change out the s&c staff this offseason the abnormal injury trend will sabotage any chances of a highly successful 2025 season, this needs to be the 1st staff change) & coaching play calling malpractice FINAL season in berkeley...luv u brah, that's a poly azz brah from another mother!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_UBZilyGZi
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD

3 more seniors walking on saturday:

*****cj harris (eligibility remaining)
*****trent ramsey (eligibility remaining)
*****mason starling (eligibility remaining)

captain obvious: the qb room gotta lotta empty chairs right now

^ the staff's definition of "seniors" is fluid/flexible
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6:37p, 11/22/24
https://instagr.am/p/DACDTTWNYDB
pitts, juarez is rite, sub 3.0 gpas trigger the berkeley academic silver bullet admission process which often includes an interview with the student center staff to determine academic ambition & qualifications

3.3 is a good (not great) gpa & a prognostication tool that with hard work a berkeley degree is very much attainable

nobody gotta be a male azz stripper like shocky (unless that's what they wanna become or something)


clothes r for losers#
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Econ141
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6:44p, 11/22/24
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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6:55p, 11/22/24
econ, luv u man, but all polls & surveys ^ are for senior citizens at tuesday bingo/30 day deep fried barracuda nite at the silverado assisted living center, ok??

leidy don't got time for that ****

https://instagr.am/p/CR7PuveDnOY
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7:02p, 11/22/24

2024 pga tournament at sea island: 2nd round update

driving it in the fairway on 24 of 28 holes thru 2 rounds in brutal chilly/windy weather michael kim is in legit contention for the winner's trophy heading into the weekend after a 3 under par 69 & is tied for 6th playing in the 2nd to last threesome tomorrow

james hahn shot a solid 70 but missed the cut by a stroke
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8:28p, 11/22/24
https://instagr.am/p/C6cZ5ObvvFs
california golden bears 63
auburn tigers 59

ugonne foul watch: a very physical game against sec +1 athletes that the refs let the ballers compete...a defensive guarding foul in the 1st quarter, yet another moving foul screen (which is just bad coaching/lack of player discipline) with happy feet in the 2nd quarter, a reach in foul in the 3rd quarter & a defensive foul in the 4th quarter which benched michelle with 7:06 left in the game...but played like a boss in the final minutes finishing with 11 points, 8 boards, 2 blocks & a gazillion altered shots in the paint!!...michelle, ur hyped up but u gotta stop with the swinging elbows

jayda noble: she is a ******* bad azz, plays basketball with intense hustle & physicality, let's ******* go jayda!!


lulu twidale: got ice in her veins, let if fly, lulu, let if fly!!...22 points on 7 of 11 field goals & 4 of 8 three pointers & 6 rebounds!!


ionna krimili: 14 points on 5 of 10 field goals but more importantly 6 unselfish assists!!

the bench: 1 point no es bueno, scoring development is critical

turnover watch: 29 turnovers is gonna lose a lotta acc games, the starting point guard can't have 7 turnovers but her teammates need to help out by moving towards her when she's trapped by uber athletic defenders



bottom line: program building WIN for them 6-0 california golden bears!!
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8:39p, 11/22/24

the bear would NOT ******* quit, the bear would NOT ******* die!!#
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Pittstop
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In reply to juarezbear • 9:47p, 11/22/24
juarezbear said:
Pittstop said:
Shocky1 said:

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

official visit to berkeley with an actionable offer for 2025 6'6" 300 lbs all state offensive tackle simona fuailetolo from desert hills high school in scenic st george utah

not gonna lie to u, ben howard needs a roommate that don't listen to adele & ****

simona is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.3 gpa

yeah fuailetolo knows that a berkeley degree is the bridge to a brighter tomorrow in building generational wealth unlike sorry azz academically mediocre schools like florida, kansas state & oklahoma state...don't fall at arches national park cuz it's a really dangerous precipitous drop off in today's fiercely competitive global economy that favors the well educated like cal, stanford & ivy league grads

https://instagr.am/p/C9hy6DXJnXc

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (just ask the bears #1 wannabe golfer cade uluave)


But "3.3" is kinda straddling the "silver bullet line", isn't it, Shocks?
Not really. I think the line is 3.0


Sure, technically. But there are 4.2s who can't get admitted to Cal. It will require a tremendous commitment, focus and determination on the academic side, while practicing and playing full time P4 football. Keeping in mind that Cal's academic course work is not the same as Sacramento State's. But it can be - and has been - done.
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:59p, 11/22/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/C38GIs4rZAy
Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

Right now I'm having another brewski poolside at the Claremont trying to take the edge off.

Look it's become painfully obvious that everyone in the program (players, coaches, staff and even Bearents) are reading your ****. So let's make a deal, ok?

I will tell Coach Bloesch to dial up a PITCHOUT to Jaydn during our first offensive series tomorrow and you will quit telling the guys to order in room adult movies and then charging them to my room, ok? My room account has already been charged 37 times tonight for "Curvy Brunette Yoga Females Doing Reverse Cowgirl," this needs to stop immediately!!

You know I grew up with a controlling dad and was not encouraged to be expressive without any social filter or guardrails like you, that's just the way I'm wired. Trust me, I'm trying to be more FUN on gamedays so the team can play fast and mentally loose in tight games but the truth of the matter is that my sphinchter tightens up in 4th quarter barnburners!!

But Shocky you're just as messed up as me, right? Do you really think think there's a UNICORN that's a curvy brunette yoga female that can make a tasty bowl of miso soup with extra tofu that wants to hike up the mountain with you and your doggy dogs and then take afternoon naps with them on the Cloud and then wants your fashionista advice regarding clothing, accessories including jewelry & even hairstyles for late nite dining at Nobu Malibu?? Good luck with that dream, pal.

Anyways Coach So'oto and Coach Longwell are thrilled that you no longer think I need to hire a full time Special Teams Coach this offseason. In fact Vic and Ryan told me to tell you that when you're on the field tomorrow during pregame early warm ups that you're more than welcome to take some 2nd team snapping reps after the Bird.

Go Bears!

Best regards,

Coach Wilcox

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

Please call the dogs off, ok?

The front desk at the Claremont just called me, I've already been charged 62 times tonite for "Curvy Brunette Yoga Females Doing Reverse Cowgirl" at $19.95 per showing.

Make it STOP, Shocky!!

Best regards,

Coach Wilcox

https://instagr.am/p/CMu5z6ylFwY
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10:17p, 11/22/24
cal's monster class OFFICIAL big game halftime performer annoucement:



school mascot buc-ee just sent me the following video of tomorrow's halftime show (could get a little crazy azz if it rains in berkeley in the afternoon) & also wanted me to know he's been taking a couple of lower division classes (mostly pertaining to culinary arts & fracking distribution technologies) this fall & that he/him/his academic transcript is an all time best 2.27 gpa!!

congrats buc-ee, ur not a total **** up/dumb azz like oski!!

this **** is getting live!!#
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5:25a, 11/23/24

the 127th BIG GAME#
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5:57a, 11/23/24
https://instagr.am/p/Ci7_-Q9pr3G
my daughter taylor (who struggled in high school, dad's solution wuz to pull her out of school for 35+ cal basketball games a year for 3 years) has flown in from new york city & now we're flying to the bay with her girlfriend elle to wut shocky thought would hopefully be my annual b-day celebration (the monster is anti hoarding/materialism, this is the only present he wants) in STORMING THE FIELD at memorial stadium if the bears win!!

https://instagr.am/p/C1iE5XJPfsb
well tay & elle (both asu grads, the #1 ranked stripper college in the world) just let me know that they thought the big game wuz a basketball not a football game & that they don't wanna get rained on so they're just gonna do the hang at the four seasons (previously the mandarin oriental, my favorite hotel in the city) in san francisco & go shopping & ****

and that's ok with me, everybody on planet earth including doggy dogs should do wut makes them happen (life is NOT linear), we're gonna meet up this evening for dinner in sf with boalt law school grad benden glapion



yeah back in the day shocky mistakenly thought cal's monster class wuz about winning championships & guys getting PAID in the NBA but realize now that in watching the above video that i truly luv everybody/treasure the special & precious time we spent together in those moments of love



alone again (naturally)#
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7:45a, 11/23/24
https://instagr.am/p/-E9MQiBHRU
back in the day (4:00 am bay bridge)#
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8:09a, 11/23/24

national high school pick 6 TAKER#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD
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8:27a, 11/23/24



aloha kakahiaka 3.75 gpa jaron keawe sagapolutele & his moms to the bay#
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8:55a, 11/23/24
https://instagr.am/p/C9WDPNkvFYO
https://instagr.am/p/C8BFzbAPaJD
aloha kakahiaka 4.0 gpa aide manutai & 3.2 gpa lebron williams from kabuku high school to ur 2nd home in cali!!

https://instagr.am/p/BXWKkOMDE1t
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the shrimp trucks near malaekahana beach)
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9:15a, 11/23/24

welcome back to the bay 3.9 gpa anthony league#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for playmakers in a league of their own)
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6:09p, 11/23/24
https://instagr.am/p/DCvDxQzSXUw
this is bear territory (the center of the ******* UNIVERSE, happy b-day shocky)!!#
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6:18p, 11/23/24


loose transcript while STORMING THE FIELD at memorial stadium with tens of thousands of insanely happy fans so high/drunk with a beauty that our minds will never fully comprehend:

shocky: liam, do u live past the wawa??

liam johnson (got off balance): wut??

shocky: the wawa past the turnpike while she alligator cries

liam (finally getting it): **** yeah!!

shocky (wearing their yellow/green kicks): **** balenciaga!!

the MAGIC of cal football (includes the east coast & really all of planet earth)#
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6:24p, 11/23/24
https://instagr.am/p/DARiAo-vAYp
cal's monster offensive line roster update:

despite walking with the seniors this afternoon, 6'5" trent ramsey tole me on the field that he intends to return to the program & compete for a starting interior line job during 2025 spring ball

trent is currently 310 lbs which he believes is his optimal weight, ramsey is really well put together & looks like he could carry another 5-10 lbs for 2025 acc road grading...coach bloesch has tole him that he gotta be more "consistent" in his craft
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6:34p, 11/23/24

shocky: jamaal, gotta really important question, wut is ur go to meal at buc-ee's??

jamaal (smiling): first of all u gotta get the bbq brisket sandwich and the slushee!!

shocky: a slushee, r u serious?

jamaal (fist bumping me): yeah the slushee makes the whole meal work!!

yeah wiley is the monster's lone star state culinary advisor or something

the university of calveston=#1 ranked public university in the world (for friday nite high gpa football stars from the great state of texas)
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oskiswifeshusband
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6:37p, 11/23/24
Mr Shocky did you talk to Jaron and his Momma?
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AZ Bear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:37p, 11/23/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/C-dBNUZAsRw
cal's monster class CONGRATULATIONS to the 30 seniors that are currently scheduled to walk on saturday...keep in mind that those noted with another year of eligibility could still possibly return for another season of cal football depending upon nil & playing time (will they start??) considerations, enter the transfer portal (uc davis could be the biggest benefactor) which runs december 9th thru the 28th or retire from football/transition to their next life's adventures

all of these young men are very special individuals & the vast majority of them will go on to do remarkable things in their lives which is typical for those with cal, stanford & ivy league educations!!

*****mavin anderson (eligibility remaining)
*****jake arguello (eligibility remaining)
*****hunter barth (eligibility remaining)
*****teddye buchanan
*****kadarius calloway
*****xavier carlton
*****ryan coe
*****ricky correia
*****collin gamble (eligibility remaining)
*****trond grizzell (eligibility remaining)
*****marcus harris
*****lu magia-hearns iii
*****dylan jemtegaard (eligibility remaining)
*****liam johnson
*****jeffrey johnson (eligibility remaining)
*****matthew littlejohn
*****will mcdonald
*****david reese
*****rush reimer
*****chandler rogers
*****nate rutchena (eligibility remaining)
*****tj session
*****victor stoffel
*****josh stovall (eligibility remaining)
*****derek wilkins (eligibility remaining)
*****miles williams
*****myles williams (eligibility remaining)
*****nohl williams
*****lachlan wilson
*****craig woodson

as the ncca scholly roster cap moves in 2025 from 85 to 105 (the staff will NOT utilize all 105 available schollys, there's no money to do so) there will also be current preferred walk ons who do not return to the program next year (which will see the elimination of all walk ons nationwide), appreciate all their hard work on scout teams!!

lastly huge SHOUT OUT to jaydn ott for stoically/quietly (no media interviews since august, does not want to publicly criticize wilcox, bloesch & thompson for the dangerous & dumb as **** predictable interior run calls which is costing him millions of dollars in the 2025 nfl draft) dealing with an injury (if wilcox don't change out the s&c staff this offseason the abnormal injury trend will sabotage any chances of a highly successful 2025 season, this needs to be the 1st staff change) & coaching play calling malpractice FINAL season in berkeley...luv u brah, that's a poly azz brah from another mother!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_UBZilyGZi
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD

I count 7 DBs on the seniors list... we are gonna have to reload in the secondary this December.

On another note, of the seniors who have eligibility remaining, here's my priority list for who I hope decides to return to Cal for 2025:

1. Trond Grizzell
- Really fun to watch & better than Merriwether IMO

2. Marcus Harris
- Hasn't played great the past few games but we need CBs in '25

3. Derek Wilkins
- Slowly contributing more, need depth at DL. 2025 breakout for DW?

4. Hunter Barth
- Hoping for a portal splash at ILB but Barth is a smart player who can contribute

I'm hoping we don't lose any/many non-seniors to the portal that we don't want to lose.
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Shocky1
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6:47p, 11/23/24
https://instagr.am/p/DA_WP9VOefV

shocky: nando, don't be holding out on me, wut's ur go to place in biscayne bay where the cuban gentlemen sleep all day??

fernando mendoza: it's absolutely la carreta!!

fun fact: leidy is of cuban descent & her favorite color is fuchsia (just like shocky)!!

https://instagr.am/p/CKUgUXYDb3O
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In reply to oskiswifeshusband • 6:53p, 11/23/24
oskiswifeshusband said:
Mr Shocky did you talk to Jaron and his Momma?
bucee'sgfthinksclothesrforlosers, donors cannot talk to recruits & their families on the field during pregame warm ups during official visits to ncca member institutions but "incidental contact" (which is permissible) sometimes happens!!

https://instagr.am/p/DCMr5nDxlpo
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Alkiadt
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:02p, 11/23/24
Shocky1 said:
oskiswifeshusband said:
Mr Shocky did you talk to Jaron and his Momma?
bucee'sgfthinksclothesrforlosers, donors cannot talk to recruits & their families on the field during pregame warm ups during official visits to ncca member institutions but "incidental contact" (which is permissible) sometimes happens!!

https://instagr.am/p/DCMr5nDxlpo


You're a donor now….?
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juarezbear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:04p, 11/23/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/DA_WP9VOefV

shocky: nando, don't be holding out on me, wut's ur go to place in biscayne bay where the cuban gentlemen sleep all day??

fernando mendoza: it's absolutely la carreta!!

fun fact: leidy is of cuban descent & her favorite color is fuchsia (just like shocky)!!

https://instagr.am/p/CKUgUXYDb3O


I ate at La Carreta when I was in Miami shooting the latest Bad Boys movie. Had an excellent Ropa Vieja plate. Highly recommend.
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Shocky1
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7:15p, 11/23/24

our time on planet earth is LIMITED dept:

shocky utilized his quick twitch +1 yoga boy/athleticism to scale the 8 foot wall (like a desperate prisoner tryna escape from san quentin to get a good ******* meal at sam's cafe in tiburon or something) at memorial stadium to STORM THE FIELD before the final seconds clocked out on the scorecard, the monster went over the barricade with NO EFFORT

honestly all the 2024 frustrations of watching every second of this season's cal football season in person disappeared from shocky's psyche as he SPRINTED towards the center of universe, the 50 year line at memorial stadium on BIG GAME saturday!!

not gonna lie to u, while celebrating with those that also bleed blue & gold there wuz moments when shocky wuz crying while laughing, this **** means so much in ways that our minds will never fully comprehend

and yeah sitting here at the mandarin oriental (now a 4 seasons) in san francisco shocky is still kinda stoned from all the 2nd hand smoke

is shocky a ******* burnt stoner??

hope not...



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sonofabear51
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9:10p, 11/23/24
Way cool Bill!! Great win for the ages!!

GO BEARS!!
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